As Joe and Twilight Sparkle approached Ponyville again evening was beginning to fade towards night and they realised what a long day this had been going back and forth between here and Sweet Apple Acres and Fluttershy’s cottage. They had saved enough time on the one trip to leave Joe puffed out for a minute or two of deep breathing, though he’d have denied he’d actually needed that. Rather that he’d not seen any reason to not do it and recover faster. He might even have admitted that had Rainbow Dash been there then machismo would have given him a reason to stay upright and try to appear entirely unaffected.
At the Golden Oaks Library they found a stack of books and others opened at various points around them on the table and a happy looking Spike. This unfortunately seemed more to do with the presence of Rarity than any progress with his research. Seeing them Rarity trotted over with an apologetic smile.
“I am sorry to impose Twilight, but could I possibly stay here tonight?
“Of course,” Twilight Sparkle replied, “not feeling at home at the Carousel Boutique?”
“How did you guess?” asked Rarity, looking demurely puzzled.
“Pinkie is staying at Sweet Apple Acres and Dash at Fluttershy’s,” Joe commented.
“I don’t blame them,” admitted Rarity. “I know that is my room there and it feels comfortable and as I would want it, but at the same time it feels like any moment Applejack might come in and ask me why I am in her home.”
“As opposed to me coming in and asking why you are here?” Twilight Sparkle asked.
“There is a difference, darling. This is your home so you should ask that and I should only feel like a guest. It feels easier to accept spending a night as a guest genuinely than a night feeling like an intruder falsely.”
“Make yourself comfortable then,” Twilight Sparkle smiled, “we might be having a late night with the reading.”
“I’ve tried to sort out the books on memories,” added Spike, “and Cutie Marks and compulsions.”
“Thank you Spike,” Twilight Sparkle smiled again.
“I wondered, what about Zecora’s cure for the Cutie Pox?”
“Cutie Pox?” Joe asked.
“Apple Bloom caught it and Cutie Marks began appearing all over her,” explained Spike, “and she had to do whatever talent they suggested.”
“And the cure cleared all those away? That could be…”
“No,” Twilight Sparkle said.
“But…”
“No,” Twilight Sparkle repeated. “I am sure you can make some analogy, but even if they are on the wrong rumps these are genuinely gained Cutie Marks.”
Joe nodded, not sure which computer analogy of resetting thing to default settings he’d have used, whether just turning it off and on again or completely reinstalling something. “So the cure wouldn’t remove them to allow the others to regain their true Cutie Marks?”
“It wouldn’t, and it would be a risk whether they’d get the right ones again.”
Rarity nodded from where she had lingered and was continuing to help Spike. “As you pointed out my talent is gems although my passion is dressmaking, not weather as I have to remind myself, so I might get a sewing machine or scissors or needle and thread or something.”
“Still a good thought though, Spike,” Joe said.
“It did make sense,” agreed Twilight Sparkle, floating a pen and quill to her to begin a new list, “now we have discounted…”
==
Princess Celestia sat in the evening dining room, the colours Her Sun was making as she lowered it and the promise of this special time of day not filling her with the same pleasure as normal. She was more interested in the contents of her cup than with looking out across Her Realm and her perceptions had returned to almost only the mortal senses of a Pony in her form. That was still enough though for her to hear the hooves on tiles and lift her eyes to look and smile to her sister as Princess Luna arrived.
“Thee seem concerned, my sister,” Princess Luna commented, serving herself her own drink. She paused and looked away as this cup, enswirled in nighttime sky, floated across and settled on the table. “And I can sense why.”
“I have felt four ripples,” sighed Princess Celestia, “and one fainter but longer one, but none of those spread further than the Pony creating them.”
“Hmm,” Princess Luna mused as she sat. “We both sensed the role of the Elements of Harmony…”
“Go on, my sister,” encouraged Princess Celestia as Princess Luna trailed off.
“Absent those and would these ‘ripples’ spread?”
“Perhaps not,” Princess Celestia nodded, “though the Elements have changed and Twilight would notice that and the connection.” Her sister nodded back to this, but Princess Celestia went on. “And with Spike to help her she would be sure to use them…”
“Wait,” interrupted Princess Luna, “what did thee say?”
“I said she’d be sure to use them.”
“No, thee said that she would have Spike to help her.”
“Of course,” Princess Celestia replied, sounding surprised that her sister seemed to have not realised that, “the change spread through the web of destiny and friendship all our Ponies share, that allows them such unity and common purpose, but Spike is a Dragon and not part of that, as worthy a friend as he is.”
“My sister,” said Princess Luna slowly, “thou hast been concerned, over-concerned I thought, with someone else who is also not a part of that web. Thee say that Spike is a Dragon, but thee could also say that he is not a Pony and…”
Princess Celestia interrupted with a horrified look. “And neither is Joe… this, no…” She shook her head. “He’d not be stupid enough to act without Twilight.”
“Perhaps, but that is what we both fear. And should he find a friend in distress would he not act? And since he, unlike Spike, lives separately from Twilight and has his own routine might he not find such friend while not in her company and seeing their distress not act at once rather than wait to seek her out?”
“He might,” Princess Celestia nodded, then she corrected herself. “No, he would. Lacking our or Twilight’s insight to magic he’d see only the superficial appearance, as he did the appearance of Changelings…”
“Be fair,” chided Princess Luna, “no Pony there suspected those were false either.”
“I’ll forgive him that much,” Princess Celestia replied, frowning back into her cup, “but will be hard to forgive this if what you suggest is true, my sister.”
==
Hours had passed with plenty of suggestions and ideas, but objections and problems with them all. Rarity had been a lot of help with her elegant penmanship and supplying of tea and coffee, as much as some would scorn ‘just’ being a secretary if the job wasn’t a useful one it would not exist, and with skimming through books that only seemed faintly related in case some phrase would catch her eye. There had been a few cases where though what Rarity found did not seem directly useful it did suggest a different way to apply some other knowledge.
Twilight Sparkle blinked at Joe and he blinked back, equally bleary eyed. Rarity had done a few sketches and retired and Twilight Sparkle had written a report on the day and the direction their research was taking for Spike to send before he also went to bed. With Owlowiscious’ help they’d continued working for a short while longer and it did seem that something was taking shape, or that they were tired enough to be deluding themselves that it was.
“Heath Robinson,” Joe muttered, looking at the notes and diagrams and formulae.
“What?” asked Twilight Sparkle, blinking a few more times for emphasis.
“Human artist,” Joe nodded sleepily, “drew really…” He paused to consider and nodded again. “Really really complex machines, all designed to do a simple task through lots and lots of stages. That does that does that does…”
“Understood,” interrupted Twilight Sparkle. “We can’t do things straight, so need to make something do something do something…”
“Hmm,” Joe nodded again. “Maybe should have said dominos, can’t knock down the end one, have to set up a chain.”
“Maybe,” agreed Twilight Sparkle, with an impressive yawn that showed the difference in dentition between her and Joe and between her and the horses and Ponies back on his world.
“I think we are too tired,” Joe said, mind wandering to if he should be ‘two tyre-d’ and get a bicycle made, “could miss something.”
“I think you are right,” nodded Twilight Sparkle, one nod almost turning into resting her chin on the table.
“Good night,” Joe replied, standing and trying to not wobble.
“Sleep here?”
“Comfier home.”
“Okay. Walk safe.”
“Thank you. Sleep well.”
“You too.”
That exchange of complicated sentences made Joe wandered off, hoping Twilight Sparkle would make it to bed but trusting Owlowiscious would chivvy her or go and get Spike if she didn’t. It was not a cold night but the slight breeze and the walking began to wake Joe up and give him his second, or third, wind as he made his way out of Ponyville and onto the path that led past his hut. The lights of the town faded behind him and as he continued on he thought his eyes were adjusting quite well, and then became puzzled as it seemed they were continuing to adjust. Then he realised it had actually got lighter and that somehow, without him noticing her arrival, Princess Celestia was walking alongside him.
“Either I am tired enough I could have been eaten by a beastie,” Joe commented, “or you are quite sneaky.”
“Or both, though I would prefer ‘subtle’.”
Deciding she really was here Joe managed to remember his manners. “I take it you have read Twilight’s report, Your Majesty?”
“Of course,” Princess Celestia replied, it had not been welcome to find her insight had been accurate but too late. “I know how the test I set for Twilight has gone wrong thanks to you and the damage you caused while searching for her.”
“You risked the happiness of her friends to test her?” blinked Joe.
“She is important enough I would risk their lives to test her. I risked the entire Crystal Empire to test her and they all could have been killed or, like the Crystal Ponies, enslaved. I love my little Ponies but the wellbeing of them all is more important than individuals.”
“As long as the herd survives,” Joe nodded tersely.
Princess Celestia frowned at him and some anger was apparent in her next words. “Do not compare us with the unthinking beasts of your world.”
“I did not mean to cause offence, Your Majesty,” Joe replied, wondering if that was true as he could have phrased that differently. “Bear in mind that humans have studied other apes and monkeys to see what their behaviour can tell us about ourselves.”
“That your people compare yourselves to those,” said Princess Celestia, not sounding mollified, “does not give you the right to compare us to other things.”
“I said I did not mean to cause offence, and if I were drawing comparisons there are many favourable ones.”
“Your manners seem lacking tonight.”
“You just told me you are willing to risk the lives of Ponies I consider friends,” Joe pointed out, “and that today has been as it was because a test you set went wrong. I’m trying to remember that it went wrong because of me and trying to respect that you have to take the broader or longer view, though I could have put that more politely, but the thought does occur that Twilight would not have expected you to send her anything dangerous without warning.”
“Do not presume to judge me,” snapped Princess Celestia, the anger in her voice no longer merely ‘some’ as that thought had occurred to her, several times. “I have shown mercy in allowing you to remain in Equestria, let alone in Ponyville where you might affect plans decades or centuries in the making.”
“That was merciful,” Joe admitted, “and better than a story I recall. There everything was being predicted and analysed, but a human from their past was accidentally brought into that future. And that he was so different made him an unknown variable, one to be ‘removed’ so things could be predicted again.”
“Oh, don’t give Celly too much credit,” a voice from the darkness sneered. “She has considered removing you by making you into statuary, like she did me.”
Discord stepped out into the combined light of Princess Celestia and the Moon and Joe nodded to him. “Which might still be better than turning me into ash.”
“Better for you,” Discord commented, joining them in their walk. “I could have reformed myself from ash… and no, despite the fang I am not a vampire.”
“More like a Chinese Water Deer,” nodded Joe, deciding if he’d annoyed one Deity he might as well spread the annoyance to a second.
“Why are you here, Discord?” Princess Celestia demanded.
“Because we both now know what the chaos I sought was,” Discord paused. “Actually, well done me. I had the instinct that bringing Joe here would cause trouble, but I’d not known what that trouble would be and now I am quite impressed with myself.”
“You are reformed, remember?” commented Joe.
“Which Celestia should be both glad and concerned by,” Discord nodded, giving her a dangerous look, “and she should consider if blaming someone other than herself is the example she wants to give me.”
“I don’t understand,” admitted Joe.
“Neither did I or Celestia,” Discord replied, looking at him. “You have been quite amusing the last fortnight, not because you have done anything interestingly chaotic but simply because as today approached Celestia was giving you more and more thought despite that.” He looked back at the Alicorn. “And there is still some amusement in that, in how concerned you were about the differences between humans and ponies but it was when Joe acted like one of your precious Ponies, seeking nothing more than to help his friends be happy, that was when he made the most trouble.” Discord stopped to give a nasty chuckle and went on even more derisively. “Even last night in your little chit-chat with Luna you only considered how Joe was different and if that would spoil your plans, but then it took her to point out he was different, like little Spikey-Wikey, and might have been unaffected.”
“Do not mock me chaos-spawn” warned Princess Celestia, her anger increasing but now, to his relief, not directed solely at Joe.
“Why not?” Discord shrugged disdainfully. “What hold do you have over me now?”
Princess Celestia’s eyes widened fractionally. “The Elements…”
Joe’s eyes had also widened as he realised that maybe it had been an attack as he’d suggested, but he’d been the unwitting weapon rather than the spell.
“Now she understands,” Discord continued to Joe, his audience. “She risks corrupting the holders of those, my minor influence prevents that from being reversed, and I am free of the threat of those returning me to stone.” Discord sighed. “But a triumph I no longer wished and do regret.” He looked back at Princess Celestia. “Which is why you should be both glad and concerned. Glad that there is still the hold of my friendship with Fluttershy to discourage me from acting in a manner which she would not approve…”
Discord stopped walking and seemed to swell towards the sky, his form looking the same but giving the impression of twisting and bending through more dimensions than could be seen by mortal eyes, his voice taking on undertones of others speaking across each other in a chaotic babble.
“Concerned,” Discord added, “that one of the Ponies you risked is my friend and whether I would avenge her unhappiness despite her disapproval, and if she were to die through your schemes, and I had already lost her friendship, what I would do in my revenge.”
“Do not threaten me,” replied Princess Celestia, also seeming to swell without becoming any larger, but the light around her increasing, “or we shall test if you can reform from ash if that is scattered on the Solar Wind. Don’t you think I also regret how things have gone?”
Discord shrank back into himself at the admission. “And don’t you think that Joe does?” he asked, his voice again normal for him.
“I…” Princess Celestia paused and nodded and also returned to her normal appearance, the light once more fading. “Yes. We all three blame ourselves and are angry with the others, I with you for bringing Joe here and with him for his deeds. Him with me for risking his friends and with you for…”
“I am not angry with Discord,” said Joe, “or not really. I could wish that I’d not been brought here so my friends would be unaffected, but it seems irrational to resent how bringing me here affected friends I’d not have if I’d not been brought here.”
“And I am chaos,” Discord added as Princess Celestia’s eyes flashed at the interruption, “so I do not need to be rational, or even try to attempt it, and Joe doing what seemed right at each moment rather than realise a broader plan is not something I can blame him for.” He closed his eyes for a moment and reluctantly conceded. “Though I can understand, intellectually, why you can.”
“Very well,” said Princess Celestia. “I blame you both as well as myself, and you both blame me as well as yourselves.” She sighed. “And I will admit I was expecting Twilight to analyse the spell rather than cast it…” She gave Joe a look and managed a very slight smile of embarrassment. “Grant me that the last unfinished spell of the greatest Unicorn Wizard ever was not something I thought would be approached with anything but caution.”
Joe took a deep breath. “Of course, Your Majesty.”
“And I shall grant you acted through nothing but friendship,” Princess Celestia continued, “and that the Chaos-Spawn…”
“Chaos-Spawn again,” commented Discord, “hark at her.”
“Does regret what his deeds have wrou…” Princess Celestia stopped and corrected herself. “Does regret what all our deeds have wrought.” She gave Joe a long look. “Twilight was right, had you not intervened, not been the ‘unknown variable’ that Discord brought, then what she attempted with the Element of Honesty on Applejack would have worked there and would have worked with the other Elements on the other Ponies.”
“Is there any way you can help them?” asked Joe. “Or is this still part of the test?”
“No, and yes. My power is vast compared with even Twilight’s great talent, vaster than I let be shown…” Joe nodded to this and wondered if Twilight Sparkle had mentioned the discussion of cosmology. “But that power is of less use than her knowledge of her friends. So although curing her friends is, now, part of the test that is not the reason why I shall not help.”
“I care nothing for the test,” Discord added, “but I cannot help either. Not because I am unable to change minds in a subtle manner but because, by my nature, I am unable to make things more orderly.”
Joe nodded to this as well as Princess Celestia continued. “And though you gradually let our previous conversation be know you will not tell Twilight Sparkle of this one. I shall tell her why the task is hers and that she was right to blame you, or at least correct that what she intended would have worked, and shall apologise to her for not making the danger clearer. If nothing else shall come from this day I shall at least salvage some part of the test.”
“Fair enough,” Joe said, hesitating first though as he noticed there was no mention of apologising to those actually affected.
“Luna shall also ease their suffering,” concluded Princess Celestia, not noticing the gleam in Discord’s eyes. “Her dreams shall aid them their feelings of being misplaced and overcome the urgings of their Cutie Marks.”
“Princess Luna and dreams?” Joe asked, puzzled.
“As Goddess of the Night and Moon,” smiled Discord, “Luna is also Goddess of Dreams.”
“Ah,” Joe breathed, realising why Twilight had said she might be able to help him with bad dreams about accidentally killing Ponies. “Interesting, by a strange coincidence the night after my last conversation with Princess Celestia I had disturbing and disjointed dreams.” He glanced at her. “Almost as if someone was looking through my memories and ideas to test them. The night after was worse, though it had calmed down by the third.”
Princess Celestia nodded. “We have a responsibility to our ponies, so we had to be certain whether you were a threat.”
“Though you were looking for the wrong threat from him,” Discord pointed out happily, “in his knowledge of humanity’s bloody history rather than in his compassion.” He pulled a rather disgusted face. “Or in the case of that Pegasus no com, just passion. Yuck.”
“And, as you said,” sighed Joe, trying to ignore Discord, “you were merciful by wanting to be certain before you’d ask me to leave. So I can’t resent the intrusion, especially not after today.”
“And despite today I am still not certain,” Princess Celestia replied, before going on in a more warning tone. “But mark this well my intent was to give you one final chance and even if my anger with you has diminished my patience with you has not. You may remain for your sake and the chance to atone, but more because as much as Twilight thinks this is her responsibility to solve, and it remains a test of her, I shall not deprive her of your help.”
“Thank you,” said Joe, giving Princess Celestia a deep bow and ignoring Discord’s mutter of disgust.