//------------------------------// // Chapter 27 // Story: Joe // by JMDARE //------------------------------// “So endurance he does have quite fine, but of his problems he did whine, though little concern of yours or mine, if for a love life he does pine?” “He didn’t whine,” Twilight Sparkle corrected Zecora. “He asked me straightforwardly about what magic could do and whether it should do it.” “A change he thinks would be the thing, so that his ‘parts’… they would sing, but concerns he has with all the ethics, rather than just if it would mean sex.” “He likes Rainbow enough he wants a relationship, if that is what she wants,” Twilight Sparkle nodded, wishing she hadn’t mentioned the second part of her conversation with Joe. She’d come here to talk about the test results and discuss whether it was worth trying to reconstruct what they had done to Joe. He’d been given the magic and potions in a controlled manner but then he’d been mauled and they’d needed to add the others. Joe had not been in much danger of dying but there had been some and they’d rushed things a little in trying to ensure he recovered without lingering effects. The question was whether he’d recovered with lingering effects, but of a more positive nature. “Apologise to you he did, although her name from you he hid,” replied Zecora, “so for her feelings showed concern, as she for him when was her turn.” “I just hope I have said enough to both of them,” Twilight Sparkle said with an embarrassed smile, “and not too much to you.” “Friends help friends when need they do, and both of them… turned to you, so turn to me you can as well, I’ll give advice… not cry and yell. I think this matter more for me, rather than Princess to see, I might live out here in my hut, but happy I have been to rut.” Twilight Sparkle swallowed a few times and blushed at the sudden honesty. She did have to agree that Zecora was a friend and that talking to Princess Celestia about such… earthy… matters would seem wrong. But had Zecora needed to make it quite so plain that she was a lusty and experienced older Mare and needed to give such a look of satisfaction as she said how happy she had been or purr so much on that last word? “Please Zecora don’t…” “Worry not your gentle head, I’ll not advise then in your stead, to them advice be awkward lend, but talk to me you can my friend. And talk to you soon I do hope, as I think you silly dope, somepony’s needed for your fun, rather than having stallions none.” “Gah… gah… gak…” “But I’ll say no more until that day, on this topic anyway,” Zecora concluded, taking pity on her blushing friend. “Your advice to Joe and Rainbow Dash, with your words my thoughts don’t clash, advise them well you have I think, on how to overcome his kink, patience is what they do need, so I hope they pay you heed.” “I hope so as well, though Joe seems more patient than Rainbow is feeling,” said Twilight Sparkle, fighting down the blush. “Which from what I know of males is unusual…” == Cheerilee looked around cautiously. She liked Apple Bloom but with the trouble they’d caused she did not want to give the Cutie Mark Crusaders false hope or make them think there was something they needed to interfere in, and so she did not want to admit who she was here to find to help her find Joe. Fortunately there was no small yellow female member of the Apple family in sight but coming around the barn, collar securely on his neck, and mighty muscles flexing beneath his red fur was the more welcome sight. “Big Macintosh,” Cheerilee greeted. “Howdy,” nodded Big Macintosh, with a slight smile to the pretty schoolmare. “I was looking for Joe, but he was not at his hut.” “Not one of his days here, an’ most times he just works th’ mornings anyhow. Though he’s willing enough to do th’ afternoon if needed.” Cheerilee nodded. “Did you hear about the model your sister and her friends made?” “Eee’yup. All about it. Over dinner an’ breakfast both.” “That’s why I want to talk to Joe, your sister explained things well but I’d like to ask Joe to give a full talk on his people’s flying things.” “He should be glad to,” Big Macintosh reassured her. “Which means I need to find him,” hinted Cheerilee, “and perhaps someone to make introductions as I’ve never met him…” “Eee’yup,” Big Macintosh nodded. “Ahm finished here so ah’d be right pleased to accompany an’ help you look an’ introduce you an’ him.” “Thanks Big Macintosh, where should we look first?” “Thisaway first ah think.” == Spike had subdued his curiosity and for a while they had talked about art. It had been a relief to Joe that Spike was not prying about the identity of his date and that he’d found a topic to discuss where the parallels felt interesting rather than strange. Joe had commented that Fluttershy would be disappointed and then explained that he meant humans and Ponies were so similar in their minds that even their art was alike. A slight speculative gleam had come to Spike’s eye at the mention of a name but Joe had ignored that in favour of mentioning how much war and religion had influenced human art and music. So although this still felt interesting rather than strange it was a little strange in that regard that the art of Equestria had not been influenced differently. Now though Joe was helping Spike with some of the chores around the Golden Oaks Library. He’d tried to sit and study but when Spike began going up and down a ladder to fetch down books and dust the shelves and then replace the books and make sure they were in the right order he’d felt twitchy. Most of the books Spike was needing the ladder to reach Joe, being roughly twice as tall, could reach without such aid. So he’d offered and that offer had been accepted, though not before Spike had teased him that he’d only be number three assistant at best. “Those ones?” Spike asked, pen poised to make a note. “Looks like a ten volume set, A Survey of the Minerals of…” Joe paused and blinked. “Saddle Arabia.” “Check… can you start handing them down?” “Sure,” Joe nodded. As he began passing the books to Spike and the small Dragon dusted them and checked for any creased pages Joe recovered from his surprise. There were all those similar names but that had been a shock, the second part being identical to a region noted for its fine horses and from where the ancestors of all modern thoroughbred racehorses came. But the first part, that made it not identical to an actual country, was almost more shocking. Saddles were designed to help with riding a horse so it felt like there were unfortunate implications when those horses were thinking talking beings. Still that same intelligence that would make it slavery without consent would allow them to give consent so it might be no worse than countries or peoples named after their tools or implements. “Joe?” Spike asked, breaking the silence. “Yes?” “If you are taking somepony on a date, and I am not asking who…” “But making your restraint in not asking clear,” Joe smiled. “Then what about your problem?” continued Spike. “Was it just that you were missing clues?” “More the opposite,” Joe replied, “it seems I was missing clues, but even when she made it clear she might like to be more than friends I found I wasn’t responding much on a… physical… level.” He gave Spike a smile as he chuckled. “Or it could be that I wasn’t missing clues and it really was as spontaneous as it seemed, so my concern she’d have second thoughts and our next meeting would be awkward was not unjustified.” “But she didn’t? Have second thoughts?” “Seems not, though she didn’t confirm whether she was thinking of Canterlot as a friendly or romantic date. We’ll have to see how things go, it’s been surprising with finding how right it feels emotionally and that I responded as much as I did. I’ve been honest with her that I have the problem and so far she seems happy with what I can give her.” “Good luck with it all.” “Thanks Spike,” Joe nodded, checking and dusting a book himself. “And even if things don’t work out romantically between me and her in Canterlot we should all four of us have a good time, can be better to have a lot of friendship and not much passion rather than too much passion and not enough friendship.” He chuckled. “Or both, can get little snots who feel the latter and complain and whine that the girl they ‘like’ feels the former.” “I… can sympathise,” mused Spike. “No you can’t, because you value Rarity and her company for their own sake. You really are friends as well as any other feelings you or she have.” Spike blinked at how firmly Joe had corrected him and this seemed to kill the conversation for a while, other than business as they worked through checking and dusting a few more shelves of books. Finally though it was Joe’s turn to break the silence. “I have a suit…” Joe said, then he winced. “Which makes me feel a bit guilty as was the day before we visited the Diamond Dogs that Rarity quizzed me about human fashions and told me I should have one, so she might have been plotting to ask me to the event that long ago.” “She asked me yesterday.” “Ouch, she said she hadn’t waited for me or… my lady… to confirm so when she said she’d spoken to you earlier I had hoped it would be closer to the three days ago when she’d mentioned the event to me and…” “And you said she should invite me instead. Don’t worry about it,” Spike reassured him. “Rarity has already apologised enough for not inviting me sooner and assuming I’d not want to go.” “Fair enough, and if you didn’t have a suit then Rarity would be dealing with it…” “I have, and she is.” Joe nodded. “So I’d not needed to ask to check. Did she say to you to meet at the Carousel Boutique at three hours past noon tomorrow?” “I don’t think so, but easier for her to fetch me from here than go all the way out to your hut.” “And makes sense for me to put my suit on that much closer to the train station rather than walking from there in it,” Joe agreed, “which only leaves me with one remaining problem.” “Which is?” “Are you getting Rarity a present?” “Pardon?” blinked Spike. “If I was back on my world and picking up a lady from her home to go somewhere I’d bring flowers or chocolates or something,” Joe explained. “But I don’t know what the custom is in this country, and we are meeting at the Carousel Boutique and being a party of four so the circumstances are different anyway.” “Oh, right,” nodded Spike. “I wasn’t going to bring anything, so if you don’t then at least we’d both be wrong.” “Maybe a corsage?” “Hmm… no,” said Spike, shaking his head. “Rarity likes her dresses to be perfect, so she’d be grateful for the thought but… but…” Joe nodded. “Be like bringing a bottle of sauce to a fine restaurant, the chef would be insulted that you thought their work needed anything added to it.” “Right,” Spike nodded back. “Hmm,” mused Joe, “maybe there is a book on etiquette around here somewhere.” “Third set of shelves clockwise from the door, second shelf from the bottom,” Spike said automatically. “Hah!” barked Joe. “I said you were a fine librarian, sounds like you know where most of the books are…” “Only most?” “Though of course Twilight knows most of the contents of most of the books…” “Only most?” Spike repeated. “All right,” smiled Joe. “Almost all for you and almost all and almost all for her? Fairer?” “Sounds about right.” == When Cheerilee had realised where Big Macintosh was leading the way to she had reminded him of that dreadful Hearts and Hooves day, though she doubted either of them would forget it if they lived to be as old as Granny Smith, or even as old as Princess Celestia. He’d agreed she had a fair point but had also said that if anyone knew where Joe was it might be these three with all the time he’d spent helping them and at their clubhouse yesterday. Unable to argue with that but still fearing the consequences Cheerilee had followed. “Apple Bloom,” Big Macintosh called, “are you in there?” It seemed likely to Cheerilee that she was and so were the other two Cutie Mark Crusaders as their empty wagon was parked beneath the tree. There was a little noise and then Apple Bloom bounded out to greet her older brother. “Big Macintosh… oh, and Miss Cheerilee.” “What?” asked a voice from inside the hut, that exclamation followed closely by the appearance of Scootaloo on the treehouse balcony. “Hello Miss, Big Macintosh,” said Sweetie Belle, following her friends in a more dignified manner. “Your brother is being kind enough to help me find Joe,” Cheerilee said, ignoring the way the fillies were looking at the pair of them for clues. “He ain’t here,” said Applejack, glad to see her brother and her teacher together but not happy they weren’t standing closer together. “Why do you want to find Joe?” Scootaloo asked, less interested in if there was any romance going on. “After your demonstration at lunchtime with your model I was thinking of having him address your class.” “That would be awesome!” Scootaloo exclaimed. “Not as awesome as if Rainbow Dash did it, but…” “But maybe they’d both do it,” whispered Sweetie Belle in her friends’ ears. Cheerilee wondered why the fillies had suddenly giggled and hoped this was not about her and Big Macintosh. “Do you know where he might be?” “He’s going ta Canterlot tomorrow,” Apple Bloom suggested, “so maybe he’s at Sweetie Belle’s sister’s?” “His suit has been ready for a few days, and my sister’s working hard on a dress for…” Sweetie Belle stopped herself before she said ‘for Rainbow Dash’ as she remembered Joe’s warning. “So she’s a bit busy for company.” “He might be at Rainbow Dash’s cottage,” said Scootaloo. “Scootaloo!” Sweetie Belle hissed in her friend’s ear. “We agreed to keep that quiet!” “But this is so Miss Cheerilee can find Joe,” whispered Scootaloo back, “so he can give a talk…” “Yes. Joe might be at Rainbow Dash’s cottage,” Apple Bloom declared, trying to talk loud enough to drown out the others, and ignoring the glare from Sweetie Belle. “She still had some questions about the model.” “Oh…” breathed Sweetie Belle as she realised Apple Bloom was trying to cover for what Scootaloo had said. “What… oh, yes, she did,” Scootaloo added, realising a little slower. “Though I don’t think Joe can walk on clouds…” “So they’d be below or nearby,” nodded Apple Bloom. The three fillies gave Apple Bloom’s brother and their teacher their best innocent looks and smiles, unaware that this attempt only made Big Macintosh and Cheerilee even more suspicious of them. “Alright girls,” Cheerilee said, “thank you for your help.” “No problem,” said Scootaloo. “Glad ta help,” Apple Bloom added. “I hope you find him,” smiled Sweetie Belle. With those assurances and good wishes given them Cheerilee and Big Macintosh left. They walked in silence for a short distance until Cheerilee was sure they were far enough away from the Cutie Mark Crusader Clubhouse and that the fillies had gone back inside. “They seemed a bit argumentative about the suggestion,” she commented, “do you think Joe might have a particular reason to visit Rainbow Dash?” “Ah doubt it, though ah don’t know,” replied Big Macintosh. “Ah don’t ask mah sister, mah oldest one ah mean, about her friends and she don’t ask me about suchlike.” “Though it did seem to you that they were suggesting ‘suchlike’?” “Maybe.” Cheerilee nodded, that was strange the way they’d acted and she was very dubious they could have meant that, as fat and strange looking as Joe was. Though he did have a suit and Rarity was working on a dress for someone for something, so maybe he did have a special somepony? If almost certainly not Rainbow Dash, even if Big Macintosh didn’t seem to be rejecting the idea. == “Spike?” “Oh! Twilight.” Spike hopped up from the table at which he had been sitting with Joe and trotted across to hug Twilight Sparkle home, Joe simply rose politely at the arrival of the lady of the house. Or library rather. As her ‘little brother’ welcomed her Twilight Sparkle glanced around and frowned slightly. It was good to be back and good that Zecora had dropped the embarrassing subjects of Joe’s potential love life or her lack of same in favour of more testing of how potions and Unicorn magic could combine. There had been some experimentation before elsewhere but Zecora had, unblushingly, pointed out that she was more skilled than the Zebra who’d been involved and Twilight Sparkle had, blushing almost as much as she had today, agreed that she was a more powerful and skilled Unicorn. “Shouldn’t you be sorting and tidying books?” Twilight Sparkle asked, noticing the lack of signs of work. “I don’t mind if you were taking a break but…” “But I’ve finished.” “Already?” “I helped,” Joe commented, sitting back down. “Oh,” blushed Twilight Sparkle. “Sorry Spike, I was expecting to see some piles and some empty shelves still.” “It did go fast. Thanks to temporary number three assistant.” “Reach, pass, reach, pass,” smiled Joe, lifting and lowering an arm in that motion, “rather than up and down a ladder.” “At least I’m still growing,” Spike pointed out, “someday we’ll see who the ‘short arse’ is.” “I’m glad you two get on,” smiled Twilight Sparkle. “Been a pleasant few hours,” Joe nodded, not mentioning the book of etiquette as well as the ones on art, “he helped with my swotting up, I helped with the bookshelves…” He winked to Spike. “Short arse…” “Grr.” “And he’s been restrained in not making it too clear how much he is restraining himself from asking who my date is,” Joe finished, “though I did discover that my discretion in the conversation downstairs had been wasted as you did know who I was talking about.” “Er, yes,” blushed Twilight Sparkle. “She asked about the same sort of magic.” Joe nodded and wondered what Rainbow Dash thought he’d look like as a Pony, and if that had been the conversation three days ago on the same day as the kiss. If it had then giving her the couple of days to think through her feelings might have been wasted as it seemed she’d been that sure, or might have been even more needed if she’d been unsettled further by questions the talk had raised. Either way although, as he’d said to Spike, she had been happy with what he had done it seemed she was thinking about how they could do more. “Must be one of our friends,” Spike mused, “if she and Twilight had a conversation that would make Twilight blush…” “Spike!” protested Twilight Sparkle. “But, the same sort of magic?” Spike asked, unabashed. “Ways to solve my problem, other than hoping it resolves itself with time,” replied Joe. “Maybe that love potion?” Spike suggested, not too disappointed that Joe had not gone into detail. “It was a love poison,” said Twilight Sparkle. “Poison? Ah, never mind,” Joe shrugged, thinking for a few moments. If it was permanent then it seemed as morally dubious as any other mental alteration magic but if it was temporary then it seemed better in some ways than shapechanging. They would at least be lusting after each other’s true forms rather than risk him desiring Rainbow Dash only when she was humanlike. On the other hand it would still be no morally better than getting drunk or high and it had the same risk as those of the memories of the night before having become bad ones now the effects had worn off. It seemed shapechanging and love potions, or poisons, whatever that meant, were the flipside of each other. One risked the memories being so happy he’d want to repeat them too exactly and the other the memories being unhappy enough he’d find it hard to repeat anything. But both might have the success of it being just so damn great that the risks had not been suffered and his ‘parts’ would behave without further help. Then Joe gave Twilight Sparkle a smile as the silence lengthened. “Don’t worry, not going to inflict more discussions of morality and magic on you.” “You did look worryingly thoughtful,” Twilight Sparkle admitted. “So, who is it?” asked Spike, getting back to the point. “I think you have a strong suspicion,” Joe said, giving the small Dragon a look, “and are trustworthy with a name as well as that we’d both embarrassed your ‘big sister’ the same way.” “Not embarrassed,” said Twilight Sparkle, with more politeness than accuracy. “It’s just, I know you were… both… asking me because your thoughts involved magic but it still didn’t feel like something I was at ease advising on.” “So I’ll give you one guess, and if you are right then I’ll say,” Joe continued to Spike. “If you are not then, assuming you don’t find out elsewhere, you get a surprise when we meet at the Carousel Boutique tomorrow. Deal?” “Joe!” protested Twilight Sparkle. “That’s hers to tell.” “Mine to tell as well if she has been telling her friends.” “Er…” “Hmm…” Joe said, looking at the sudden blush and then to Spike. “You remember I said I wondered if they all knew everything?” “That wasn’t what you said,” grinned Spike, “but I think that was what you meant.” “And seems I might have been right,” Joe nodded. “Or right at least to wonder if there’s been more talk than embarrassing your ‘big sister’ and needing a dress from your paramour.” “Is it Rainbow Dash?” “Yes.” “Joe!” protested Twilight Sparkle again. “I trust Spike’s discretion more than I do that of the Cutie Mark Crusaders,” Joe smiled to her before explaining. “Yesterday Dash threatened I’d have to go to Canterlot without her, but she made the threat in front of the fillies. If I’d thought there any chance they’d think this was just for shopping or something that passed when Sweetie Belle squealed about this being why I hadn’t been able to confirm to Rarity if I was going to the event.” “Ouch,” commented Spike. “I did ask them to not gossip, warned them more glowery than I intended, but that was after Dash flew off and left me to their questions.” “Ouch, again,” commented Spike, again. “Won’t matter soon, as egotistical as it would be for us to think wearing suits would draw any notice I think we can both agree that Dash and Rarity in their dresses, as we walk from the Carousel Boutique to the train station, would turn heads. So gossip might start then anyway.” “Spike, how did you know it was Rainbow?” Twilight Sparkle asked. “You did stutter Rai Rai Rai before saying Rarity,” grinned Spike, teasing his ‘big sister’ with that exaggeration. “Alas,” Joe proclaimed, trying to look woebegone, “I hoped you’d say something about soulmates.” == The weather was almost perfect for a pleasant walk with a pretty Mare or a handsome Stallion and after dealing with colts and fillies all day Cheerilee appreciated Big Macintosh’s undemanding company. He was big, he was quiet, he was reliable, he was strong, and though his Cutie Mark was not the most spectacular that was less true of the place where he kept them. Trying to distract herself from such thoughts Cheerilee focussed back on the weather and as she glanced up she saw a rainbow streak across the sky, clouds vanishing in quick succession to let the sun through or being shoved together to give patches of shade. “Looks like Rainbow Dash is busy,” Cheerilee commented. “Eee’yup,” nodded Big Macintosh. “She seems to be in a rush, but she always is…” Cheerilee mused. “That she is,” agreed Big Macintosh. “So I don’t think she is rushing to get back to Joe at her cottage…” “Not moving that fast, no. Or not that fast fer her.” “So if he was there he’s likely left.” “Likely enough. Though we can check?” Cheerilee nodded as they entered Ponyville and the quiet of their walk returned. She considered what the Cutie Mark Crusaders had said and whether it would be worth diverting, maybe twice, now they knew Rainbow Dash, at least, was not at home. “Maybe it’s just because I’m a schoolteacher…” Cheerilee began. “An’ a darn fine one,” nodded Big Macintosh. “But if I was going to an art show,” Cheerilee continued, noticing but not reacting to the compliment, “or was taking my pupils to one, I’d want to prepare for it.” “Eee’yup. And ah’m not right sure how much Joe knows about art. Here at least. So th’ library?” “Your sister and her friends did say they’d worked on things there with Joe,” Cheerilee agreed, “so he’s not a stranger to it.” “Eee’nope.” That settled they turned rather than continue straight on and the book filled tree soon came into view. If they’d no luck checking here, Cheerilee decided, they might as well visit the Carousel Boutique in search of Joe or at least clues. This was taking long enough that it was possible however that he’d already returned to his own hut and she was wasting the, thankfully almost infinite, patience of Big Macintosh in this search. Entering the Golden Oaks Library though Cheerilee noticed two things. The first was just how little room Big Macintosh had around him in the doorway and the second was the bizarre figure looking at books on a table. Joe glanced up from some text describing an artist’s motivation, dismissing whether they had actually been that psychologically complex as he vaguely recognised the Mare as the schoolteacher that had the Cutie Mark Crusaders in her class. Since she was that fractionally well known to him he felt manners demanded he stand as he had for Twilight Sparkle. This let Cheerilee notice a third thing, rather than a fat creature hauling itself to its feet she saw something quite well muscled stand with surprising grace for only using two legs. Though she’d still doubt it was Rainbow Dash perhaps a special somepony was not so ridiculous, even if that would be an even more unusual pairing than Spike and Rarity. “Howdy Joe,” Big Macintosh said. “Hello Big Macintosh,” nodded Joe, repeating the nod as more of a slight bow, “and hello to you Miss… Cherry Leah?” “Cheerilee.” Joe nodded again to acknowledge the correction. He still didn’t see the connection with the daisies on her rear but then again he wasn’t sure what sort of Cutie Mark someone called ‘Cherry Leah’ would have either. The two of them continued to look at him rather than seek out Twilight Sparkle or Spike or ask where either of them were. So with a tiny shrug he decided to volunteer that information. “Twilight Sparkle is in her basement laboratory,” Joe informed them, sitting again now he’d stood for the lady, “and Spike had to pop out for a few minutes.” “Actually Joe, was you we come to see,” replied Big Macintosh. “I hope not to ask me to do more chores at Sweet Apple Acres tomorrow,” Joe said, looking worried, “I have about a three hour gap, but…” “Oh, no, no,” said Big Macintosh reassuringly, “Apple Bloom mentioned you were going to Canterlot tomorrow, an’ ah’d not want you to have to go there tired and without a chance ta sit down an’ have some lunch and let that settle.” Big Macintosh gave Cheerilee a look and she nodded to him. “Joe, the Cutie Mark Crusaders brought an intriguing model into school today…” “I hope it went well?” “Yes, the rest of their class were very interested, which is why I wanted to talk to you, and why I want you to talk to them.” It seemed unlikely to Joe that the ‘rest of their class’ rather than that minus Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon had been interested. But that was irrelevant as although he had let himself be drawn into a lack of caution in conversation that was not the same as preparing and giving a lecture to an entire class of colts and fillies. Pre-meditation made many things less forgivable and although he enjoyed learning and teaching he’d never wanted to be a teacher. “I think I shall have to decline,” Joe said, “all I know is what I can remember…” “And you remember enough to help build a working model,” interrupted Cheerilee, teacher’s instincts to cut off excuses kicking in, “the fillies and colts would be so interested in what you have to say and so disappointed if you can’t do this.” “You can’t be disappointed by the lack of something you didn’t know you were going to have,” Joe pointed out, wondering if Cheerilee had presumed on his acceptance and already discussed this with her class or promised it to them. “That’s true,” admitted Cheerilee, “but I’d be disappointed as I know how much they’d enjoy it.” “And this would be a good thing to do Joe,” Twilight Sparkle added, having returned from the basement at the faint sound of talking. “Share some of what you know and make fillies and colts happy.” “Eee’yup,” agreed Big Macintosh. “And when we were looking for you we had to ask the Cutie Mark Crusaders so they know and ah doubt they’d not mention it to their classmates.” Joe looked for a moment at Twilight Sparkle and wondered if she reassuring him that she didn’t think Princess Celestia would mind, or had simply forgotten the warning he’d been given. With her memory the latter would be reassuring anyway as it would show she’d not thought it relevant. In some ways though Big Macintosh’s argument was the more convincing as if Apple Bloom, Scootaloo, and, to a lesser extent, Sweetie Belle had a chance to taunt Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon it seemed they would take it. And visa versa. So the question was if the three would taunt the two that Joe had been invited and the two would taunt the three if he declined. “I don’t know when I’d be able to do this anyway,” Joe said slowly. “Tomorrow is too short notice to prepare by, and I have Sweet Apple Acres in the morning and Canterlot in the evening and into the night anyway. The day after is when I visit Zecora and the day after that is another day where I have chores at Sweet Apple Acres in the morning.” Cheerilee scented victory as Joe retreated from a flat refusal, and a claim of being unable to do it, to simply claiming he was too busy. Twilight Sparkle nodded to herself as she saw a gap in Joe’s schedule that he didn’t. She knew the things he gathered were useless, or had been last week, and this was make-work to let him think he was paying off his debt. So she doubted Zecora would be unhappy were Joe to miss a day. “If you’ll be having a late night with the Canterlot event,” argued Twilight Sparkle, “then it would not be safe to go into the Everfree for your gathering the next morning when you might still be tired. So you could delay your errand for Zecora.” “Delay does sound safer,” Cheerilee agreed, noting that Joe really did routinely go into the Everfree. “And if we made your talk after the morning break that day then you’d have been able to sleep later.” “I don’t want to let Zecora down,” frowned Joe, “and I could delay my errand by a few hours and work more into the evening if I felt I needed sleep.” “If you were further delayed then it could be starting to get dark,” Twilight Sparkle pointed out, continuing her argument, “and that, again, would not be safe.” “It’s still short notice,” said Joe, starting to get fed up with the persistence. “You’d have the rest of today and perhaps some time tomorrow while you are resting after your chores?” Cheerilee smiled, really scenting victory. “You’ve been helping and talking to the Cutie Mark Crusaders so this is all fresh in your mind.” “And you did well enough talking to them spontaneously,” added Twilight Sparkle, “without any preparation.” Joe looked to Big Macintosh. “I’m not going to get out of this am I, Big Macintosh?” “Eee’nope.” “Fine, day after tomorrow it is,” Joe sighed. “Let’s get this over with.” “Graciously put,” nodded Cheerilee, “but thank you.” Their task complete Cheerilee and Big Macintosh left, exchanging greetings with Spike as he entered and came face to foreleg with the latter. Seeing that Joe was looking a little grumpy and curious about what he had missed Spike hurried to drop off the few things he’d bought and return. Before Spike could ask him Joe gave Spike a rueful smile. “You win,” Joe said. “Pardon?” “I didn’t think I’d be able to learn that much about art in one day,” Joe explained, “but, with the aid of your ‘big sister’, Cheerilee has persuaded me to go and give a talk at the school about human flight.” “Right,” nodded Spike, “but why does that mean I win?” “Twilight suggested it should be the day after tomorrow,” Joe said, making her look a touch embarrassed, “so I am going to have to start preparing now. So if anyone’s going to get to sound erudite it’s you, which you’d have done anyway…” Joe added with a smile. “But I might have got a little closer to it.” “So I win!” “Yep, you can talk about an artist’s influences and inspirations and I can say ‘pretty painting, is pretty, is made of paint’.” “You should be fine Joe,” giggled Twilight Sparkle, “as long as you don’t wander around saying ‘look at all the talking horses’.” “Fortunately there was so little interest in me when I was brought here I doubt ‘talking horsie talking horsie’ was memorable.” Twilight Sparkle nodded. “I’m seeing Zecora tomorrow, some ingredients needed to steep overnight,” she said, “what do you want me to tell or ask her?” “Say that I won’t be there the day after tomorrow,” Joe replied, “and that a pretty purple Unicorn advised me it would be better to not gather things during the afternoon and into the evening, so the day after that would probably be out. The usual time on the day after that, two days late, might be better if that would be convenient for her and it can wait that long.” “Alright,” Twilight Sparkle said, tempted again to say the things Joe gathered were useless so it could wait forever. “And now,” sighed Joe as he stood. “Time to go prepare for the joy of being heckled by Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon.” “You could always take your spear,” Spike suggested, semi-seriously. “That wouldn’t be safe, small as they are they are still the size of Wild Boar and just as bad tempered…” Joe winced. “Please tell me Wild Boar can’t speak here, I know the Pigs at Sweet Apple Acres didn’t say anything to me.” “Wild Boar can’t talk,” Twilight Sparkle reassured him. “Phew.” “Why wouldn’t it be safe though?” Spike asked. “Because when humans used spears to hunt Wild Boar there were enough cases of the Wild Boar continuing to charge, driving the spear head straight through themselves, pushing their bodies along the spearshaft, and getting within range to gore with tusks and hooves, that there were special Boar Spears. They had a crosspiece behind the spearhead to stop it going right through.” “How gruesome,” shuddered Twilight Sparkle. “Sorry,” Joe said. “In my defence I’d say since they were reintroduced the attitude has been much more to watch them from a safe distance and say ‘aww, look at the cute little stripy hoglets’.” Joe decided to not mention that the Wild Boar were doing well enough that there’d been suggestions a cull was needed to prevent too much damage in that forest and risk to the surrounding farms. He’d had to help with some of the cleanup at Sweet Apple Acres after the flooding caused by the Discord influenced Beavers, which was a good reason to mistrust the demigod, so he knew the attitude here was for Fluttershy to talk to her little friends. Twilight Sparkle meanwhile decided to not ask about why Wild Boar needed to be ‘reintroduced’. “Anyway,” Joe said, “I had better be on my way, thanks for the time and talks you two.” “Good luck with Canterlot and the School,” nodded Twilight Sparkle. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” Spike added.