Joe was feeling relaxed and happily full of buns and tea. To his relief the same did seem to be true of Fluttershy and that, like the nervous kitten, she had become accustomed to his presence as he sat quietly with her and avoided any sudden moves or sounds. She had looked strangely puzzled when the conversation turned to seasons and migration and how birds needed to time their migration and breeding to the availability of food. But the conversation had then turned to what else humans knew about that lived in the Oceans so Joe had not asked why she was so puzzled by that.
Talk of Giant and Colossal Squid took some care on his part as not only did he want to avoid mentioning humans catching them he wanted even more to avoid saying their existence, or at least how huge they got, had been suspected from scars seen on Sperm Whales when those great creatures were killed. Coral also took some care as Joe wanted to say how magnificent the reefs were without talking too much about the damage humans had caused to those. But with some regrets Joe had decided to be honest enough to mention not all the Squid seen had been washed up or filmed alive, some had been caught, and that boat anchors, diving and souvenir taking, and other human activities had needed rules and restrictions to avoid damaging what the people were there to see.
They were touching on some of the ‘oddities’ of the Oceans like Sea Cucumbers expelling their own guts to appease predators, or Sunfish with their vertical disk bodies and tiny tail fins, or the creatures of the deep like Angler Fish with their lures when Fluttershy suddenly squeaked.
“Problem?” Joe asked, saying that instead of mentioning how male Angler Fish hooked their teeth into females and were then absorbed by her until they were nothing but a lump on her side with some testicles.
“Oh, it’s just, the time,” replied Fluttershy. “I should be going, but the conversation was so nice, and I…”
“And it doesn’t have to stop,” Joe smiled, “I do have some things I could get in Ponyville so if you like I can walk you there?”
“Oh, erm, okay,” said Fluttershy, managing to smile back, even with seeing Joe’s teeth. They were not that large and the effect was similar to when a Pony smiled, though Joe had mentioned that them having as many teeth was one of the subtler differences between here and his world, but it was a reminder that some of them were shaped for meat.
“I should be fine just taking my bag and leaving my tools outside your front door,” Joe mused. “Simpler to come back for them later than carry them.”
“Okay.”
They cleared away the plates and cups and saucers and once Joe had unstrapped and unloaded his tools they set out. The weather was pleasant and Joe was happy to walk in silence, enjoy the peace and quiet, and let the buns settle better with the walking. Fluttershy seemed to also be enjoying it but then began to look nervous again and eventually spoke.
“Joe, er, do you remember your previous visit to my cottage?”
“Nice tea and buns that time as well, so be my turn next time.”
“No, what I said before Discord arrived.”
“I…” Joe said, trying to remember, “I remember you were very apologetic…”
“Sorry,” said Fluttershy. Joe gave her a look and raised an eyebrow. This was amusing enough to cheer her and similar enough to Pony expressions for her to understand. “Oh, yes, apologising for apologising.”
“As long as you don’t start apologising for apologising for apologising.”
Fluttershy managed another shy smile as well as to only blush very faintly. “I said that as soon as I saw Spike I wanted to know all about him…”
“Oh yes,” Joe nodded. “Then I said there was not much to say about me, and Discord arrived to tell me I was deliberately boring.”
“Are you?”
“I think we established then that I’d been being less… chatty… than I’ve been recently, but I have been warned that it is egotistical to think myself too interesting, that Ponies would care enough about my words and deeds that I need to worry so much about taking care with them.”
“Oh,” said Fluttershy.
“I was being deliberately boring, to an extent,” Joe clarified, “but I do think I am actually boring, to a greater extent.”
“I, erm, was interested in what you were saying. And I would be interested in knowing what it’s like to be a human. Not by being turned into one…” Fluttershy blushed deeply as she saw the strange look Joe gave her at this. “Though I am sure it is perfectly nice,” she hurriedly added, “and that it suits you well, it’s just not what I meant and…”
“And you meant what it’s like for me to be a human and what humans think it is like,” Joe interrupted, sounding distracted.
“Yes!”
For more than a few moments Joe considered things, though he was more considering the disclaimer than the question. That Fluttershy had felt the need to make that disclaimer suggested it might be possible to change shapes to that extent, even if you did not have the power of a Demi-God like Discord. Which raised some interesting ideas that might help something else be raised. Though that Fluttershy had been so firm in making the disclaimer suggested another Pony would also be equally reluctant to not be Pony shaped.
“So far, despite the physical differences, it seems similar to being a Pony,” Joe shrugged, trying to not visualise Fluttershy as a human or whether she’d retain her wings and look like an almost ethereal angel of mercy. “Or a Pony here at least. Similar intellect, similar emotions, some bizarrely close parallels in the culture and technology and names of things.”
“That, erm…”
“That is why I think I am boring,” Joe continued, looking a touch rueful. “I am glad that I managed to fit in but that I did shows how much the immigration officials were right to treat me as just another shape of talking person.”
“There must be some differences,” said Fluttershy, actually frowning with her determination to know more. “Spike fits in well, but there are still things unique about him.”
“About the only differences I’ve noticed are in what’s around me, like the fact I am talking to a Pony.”
“You don’t talk to Ponies on your world?” asked Fluttershy.
“I don’t often, and they never talk back to anyone. As I said to Spike, and Twilight overheard and was then ‘kind’ enough to mention in front of the Cutie Mark Crusaders, it was enough of a shock that Ponies talk here that it took me a while to say more than ‘talking horsie’.”
“Ponies don’t talk on your world? I think you, erm, mentioned that but…”
“For some reason Twilight asked me about humans and intelligence and other creatures yesterday,” Joe said, “was rather sudden and seemed a real change of subject, but what I said to her was…”
Fluttershy alternated nodding and asking intelligent questions as Joe went through the previous conversation. She quizzed Joe more intensively on the other creatures and Joe mentioned things like Corvids learning to pull strings or Squirrels reach bird feeders. Talking about sheep learning to roll to get past cattle grids was a mistake on his part though as he had to explain what a cattle grid was and then remind her that Cows didn’t talk on his world so keeping them in a field and off a road was for their safety rather than cruel imprisonment. If he let her assume those were Dairy rather than Beef Cattle then he felt that was an acceptable lapse.
“So,” Fluttershy said, “if there are relatives of humans who are almost as smart, how do they act?”
“Is this another way of asking how humans act?”
“Erm… maybe? Though I am interested in the other ‘Great Apes’ as well.”
“Well, Gorillas are the largest and most powerful and because of that humans got the wrong impression of them. We thought they were quite savage and fierce but their size is more because they are vegetarian and their fierceness is almost all threat displays to avoid fighting…” Joe continued to run through what he knew about Gorillas and their nests and their dignified quiet lives, and then about Orang-utan and their solitary treetop lives. Then he started to speak about Chimpanzees and how humans had made the opposite mistake with them as with Gorilla. “I don’t know how they became regarded as cute, they are no taller than you but stronger than me.” Joe paused and corrected himself. “Well, stronger than I’d be without the magic I’ve been given and it might still be close.”
“And they are fierce?” Fluttershy asked.
“Very,” nodded Joe. He sighed. “Humans don’t have large teeth or sharp claws so there is a suggestion that we compensated through ferocity. Which had the advantage of allowing people to claim that only their particular brand of religion or philosophy would allow people to contain the ‘beast within them’. But also meant that ferocity in other creatures had to be… not ignored exactly, but… their lives regarded as more harmonious than they were.” Joe chuckled and shook his head. “Though not as harmonious as their lives are under your influence.”
“So humans thought Gorilla were scary and Chimpanzees were not?”
“‘Aww, look at the little Chimp, he’s like a little person and he’s smiling’… no, he could pull your arm off and he’s baring his teeth because he wants to tear your throat out.”
“Oh.”
“There was a saying that Humans were the only creatures to kill their own kind, which was hugely untrue anyway, but the more we studied Chimps the more we realised it wasn’t even true in something so closely related to us. Humans have wars, but so do Chimps where one tribe tries to kill or drive away another. And even young male intoxicated humans are generally less keen to resort to casual violence to settle disputes.”
“Oh.”
Joe looked at her at that repeated response. “I know,” he smiled, “saying humans are no worse or slightly better than things is not the same as saying they are good. And comparing us with other creatures on our world doesn’t necessarily say the same as about here.”
“It’s not that… but you mentioned another sort of Great Ape? Bonobos?”
“Oh, they are fun,” Joe grinned. “They do eat some meat and do some hunting but if any creature has found a better solution than violence they have. The saying is that if you put something near a pair of Chimps they will fight over it and smash it. Near Gorillas and they will take it apart carefully. Near Orang-utan and they will take it apart and put it back together. But put the item near a pair of Bonobo and they will look at it and decide that is an unusual enough occurrence that they had better have sex.”
“What?” blushed Fluttershy.
“Got a dispute? Sex. Not sure of what to do about something? Sex. Feeling bored? Sex. Not seen someone for a while and want to get reacquainted? Sex…”
“I, er, get the idea, er…”
“True, is rather excessive.”
They continued walking for a while as Fluttershy’s blush faded and were actually passing along the streets of Ponyville before she made the effort to speak again and ask what seemed to be preying on her mind. After a few little throat clearing noises she managed to form words.
“Er, Joe?”
“Yes?”
“Are humans that bad?”
“Well, we aren’t as violent as Chimps, do have the religion and philosophy to help, so we’ve got a nasty side to us but we can be nice.”
“Yes, you can,” Fluttershy reassured him, though that wasn’t what she was asking.
“Been nice walking and talking with you,” continued Joe, looking around, “but I think the spa is down there and I want to go up here.”
“Oh, okay, er, goodbye, been nice.”
Joe gave Fluttershy a nod and another smile and strode off towards the shops. For a moment she hesitated and then continued on her way. Fluttershy doubted humans were as much like Ponies as he was claiming or trying to believe. It had not been terribly reassuring that Joe had only been able to say that everything was violent and humans were not an exception in this, or that she’d noticed there was so much he’d decided not to say, but he was right in saying that he could be nice and he did seem to have his instincts under control by his intellect.
Fluttershy entered the spa. “Has Rarity arrived?” she asked the Pony at the desk.
“Of course, hardly expect her to not be early,” came the reply.
“Oh, er, true,” Fluttershy smiled.
“This way to join her then.”
==
This was perhaps premature but Joe felt he had done enough drawings. Back home he’d have fired up some 3D modelling software to play around with shapes but here he was going to have to use a literal wireframe. He smiled to himself as he examined the different gauges from very flexible up to what was almost a thin rod and remembered a webcomic where a ten year old thought someone had made a physical version of a computer pinball game. It seemed unlikely but possible that the same might be true here and some didn’t realise that wireframes were also physical first.
Having made and paid for his selections Joe decided to also get some wood. This was more expensive than using the software… though for the price of some packages you could buy a vast amount of wood and wire… and also more of a problem as it had the complications of scale. It didn’t matter what size things were in the computer but it did if they were in your hands. Too big would be too complex to easily build and too small would be too unrepresentative. Small would do though for now and for just noodling about with shapes and rough relationships.
==
The Ponyville Spa was quite extensive for such a small town and without the guide it could have taken Fluttershy a lot longer to find her friend with the side rooms and with how different Rarity sometimes looked under facial masks and with her mane or tail or both concealed beneath towels. Despite the comment about Rarity having arrived early Fluttershy had still apologised for being late and needed to be reassured she was the first to join her. They had enjoyed some pampering and that it was just the two of them for a while, a Spa date was far more their thing than it was the others.
“I might have treat myself to another Ponicure this week,” Rarity said, sounding happy at the excuse. “Make sure I’m at my best for the event in Canterlot.”
“It does sound… nice…” commented and apologised Fluttershy, “but I prefer gardens when there aren’t so many Ponies in them.”
“I understand, you certainly prefer the Canterlot Castle Gardens when you can be alone or with that nice old Pony,” Rarity winked, “now you are sensible enough to get his help.”
Fluttershy blushed in memory. Rarity had been so annoyed with her after the Grand Galloping Gala, she’d sympathised about the frustration of the animals not wanting to meet her but that had turned to irritation when Fluttershy mentioned the gardener. It seemed to Rarity that all the time Fluttershy had been having problems there had been a nice old stallion who’d been friendly and who Rarity was sure would have been willing to help a pretty young Mare and show off ‘his’ gardens and the inhabitants.
Then Fluttershy’s embarrassment at not thinking of what was so obvious to her friend, and which her friend had demonstrated that day by recruiting two stallions to pull their coach so easily, had been joined by Twilight Sparkle’s embarrassment at Princess Celestia’s comment. She’d gently told them that if she’d known Fluttershy wanted a tour of the gardens she’d not needed to wait for the night of the Gala, when all the animals were on edge, as if Twilight Sparkle had mentioned it in one of her letters that could have been arranged any time. That and Applejack’s problem, where Princess Celestia could have instructed her seneschal to buy the treats rather than Applejack having to hawk them, were the only problems with such a simple solution though.
Pinkie Pie was too bouncy and irrepressible for the formal occasion or to take a warning. Rainbow Dash had managed to get into the V.I.P. area on the strength of her heroism at the Best Young Flier contest rather than Princess Celestia needing to leave instructions to admit her, though Rainbow Dash might have taken a warning and it might have gone better. Twilight Sparkle had not really had a problem as the greeting of Ponies had gone smoothly and she and her mentor had got to the part of the night where they could chat and circulate. And the problem of Prince Blueblood being an ass had not been solved in as many years as he’d been alive so Rarity had simply been out of luck in her choice.
==
Sheets of wood under his arm and dowelling in his bag with the wire and slender rods Joe was trying to remember if he needed or wanted anything else. It was maybe early enough still to accomplish one thing so he turned down that street towards…
“Hi Joe!”
“Gah!” Joe recoiled as his face was suddenly filled with Pink Jumping Mare.
Pinkie Pie giggled as she landed and then hopped a quick circuit around Joe to examine him and the way he was carrying things. She frowned as much as she ever could and returned to where he could see her.
“Rarity is not going to be happy.”
“Are you that late to go to the spa then?”
“No, silly…” Pinkie Pie started to reply, before stopping and looking suspiciously at Joe. “How do you know about that?”
“Fluttershy mentioned it when I helped her feed her animals this morning.”
“Oh, okay,” Pinkie Pie nodded, her expression clearing back to a smile, “but Rarity isn’t going to be happy you are wearing that.”
For a moment Joe didn’t understand and then he remembered he’d put on some of his baggy clothes today. That had been fortunate with having to shove his sleeves up to deal with fish or grubs and worms but unfortunate as he’d said to Rarity that he’d wear his altered clothes if he was coming into Ponyville. As the visit had been on a whim he’d not thought about that. How and why Pinkie Pie knew or thought he shouldn’t be wearing these baggy clothes was a mystery though to join the others about her.
“Then I shall have to retreat and hope she is already in the Spa.”
“I’m sure she is, she likes sitting in mud and lying about every week,” Pinkie Pie assured him, pulling a face at how boring that could be.
“I’ll not delay you, but was good to see you, was why I was heading towards Sugarcube Corner.”
“What did you want?”
“Just to say hello while I was in Ponyville, since I’d not seen you the previous couple of times.”
“Okay. Hello Joe!”
“Hello Pinkie Pie,” Joe returned, playing along.
“Goodbye Joe!”
“Goodbye Pinkie Pie,” Joe said, an instant before she vanished as suddenly as she’d appeared.
Joe glanced back down the street but aside from a few dents in the dirt of the road that looked as if they had been made by four hooves stotting together rather than a more normal pony gait there was no sign of her. With a shrug he turned to go and order another archery target from the craftspony who had supplied the other one before he returned to his hut. Or rather, he realised, before he returned to his hut to unload things before going and fetching his tools from Fluttershy’s cottage.
==
Despite the arrival of Pinkie Pie and Rainbow Dash the Spa was almost as peaceful as it had been with just Rarity and Fluttershy. Applejack didn’t much hold with all the fussing about but was willing to take a break from the farm for the company of her friends and would admit she sometimes felt a mite better for being treated fancy-like. Twilight Sparkle just seemed disappointed sometimes that mud and water and steam did not mix well with books. The six of them were happily reclined and relaxed, even if Rarity was the only one who’d gone to the extent of cucumber slices on the eyes.
“As I said to Fluttershy,” Rarity commented, rather sleepily, “before the rest of you arrived I might be going to the event in Canterlot after all.”
“Ah’m right sorry I had to decline,” said Applejack, nodding even though her friend had such a strange reason to not be able to see this, “ah can appreciate a nice picture or tune, but that just don’t sound like mah sort of thing.”
“Oh no, it’s quite alright girls,” Rarity reassured her and the rest of them.
“Especially since if we aren’t there we can’t embarrass you,” agreed Rainbow Dash.
“I’ll admit… again,” Rarity chuckled, “that as much as I love you all your idea of a party and the snooty Ponies’ did not agree.”
“They were so boring!” protested Pinkie Pie. “And snooty! And boring!”
“Are you fine going by yourself though?” Twilight Sparkle asked in concern. “I could tolerate the partygoers and…”
“Thank you Twilight,” said Rarity, adding more reassurances, “but I remember you saying how much it annoyed you when Ponies ignore the artwork.”
“It just seems so…” Twilight Sparkle huffed, “here are masterpieces and the partygoers spend their time instead on admiring each other and gossiping.”
“Besides I might not be going by myself,” added Rarity. “I’m sure Spike would accompany me…”
“It’s a bit late for him,” Twilight Sparkle commented, “but if he wants to.”
“And I invited Joe…” continued Rarity.
“What?” Rainbow Dash interrupted. “I mean… oh, that’s nice.”
“But it’s possible he has a marefriend,” Rarity continued mischievously, a smile coming to her face at that reaction and as she wondered if the mystery of the day before was about to be solved, “some Pony he felt he should invite, but was rather sweetly concerned about how she’d react to that.”
Twilight Sparkle glanced at Rainbow Dash, Applejack frowning as she noticed the glance and that Rainbow Dash was starting to faintly blush, and as Rainbow Dash remained silent Twilight Sparkle decided to speak. “Why concerned?”
“He refused to go into detail,” Rarity replied, removing the cucumber slices so she could look at the others, especially Rainbow Dash, “and I didn’t press, but it seemed he’d been surprised somehow and that things were still confused.” To Rarity’s satisfaction Rainbow Dash’s blush deepened slightly as she paused. “So he didn’t know if the mare in question wanted to return to friendship or try romance, and until she, and he I think, were less confused he didn’t want to make an invitation that could be taken as romantic and pressure her that way.”
“I… see,” said Rainbow Dash, trying to look unconcerned and uninterested.
“Ah think ah see as well,” Applejack commented, looking at Rainbow Dash before looking back to Rarity. “Though did he consider it romantic coming from you Rarity?”
“He was relieved when I said it wasn’t, then quite apologetic in case that seemed rude.”
“He can be… quite nice,” agreed Fluttershy, trying to be generous.
“So who do you think it is?” Pinkie Pie exclaimed. “And should we have a Joe-has-a-marefriend party?”
“I think a celebration might be premature,” said Twilight Sparkle, even though she knew little could divert Pinkie Pie from the idea of a party.
“It’s you…” Pinkie Pie accused, then she thought. “No, wait…” Her gaze fixed on Rainbow Dash. “Nooooo!”
Rainbow Dash made various non-verbal noises as the four of her friends who hadn’t known looked at her with varying expressions of surprise or shock or satisfaction at the news. “Okay!” she admitted under the scrutiny. “I kissed him!”
“Way to go Rainbow Dash!” Pinkie Pie crowed.
“Details darling, details,” added Rarity. “Though hopefully this means you will be there, whether to embarrass me or not.”
“Ah don’t think Rainbow wants ta kiss’n’tell,” Applejack frowned, shifting position on her couch.
“Phooey!” sniffed Rarity. “And Joe didn’t mention that was how he got confused.”
“Confused would be one word fer it,” Applejack commented.
Rainbow Dash slumped. “Confused is about all it was, for him.”
“Awwww…” Pinkie Pie said sympathetically, bouncing up from where she was lying and across to hug Rainbow Dash.
“I find that… I mean… I…” said Fluttershy before she blushed and continued. “I’d think he’d be very happy as well.”
“Not that happy,” Rainbow Dash sighed from within the pink hug, “he just wasn’t feeling much.”
“Well, that can happen,” said Applejack, trying to reassure her friend. “Ah know that sometimes there just ain’t the spark, he feels more like a weird shaped extra brother ta me.”
Rainbow Dash lifted her gaze from the floor and gave Applejack a weak smile. “And the feeling is mutual for him.”
“You been gossiping with him about me?”
“To repeat myself,” Rarity said, really happy with how interesting a Spa date this was becoming, “details darling, details.”
“What Rainbow is trying to say,” said Twilight Sparkle, “is that Joe has a problem with Ponies. I… ah.” She blinked before she could continue. “Eavesdropped on him and Spike, three days before Rainbow kissed him, and he said then that…er… parts of him hadn’t got convinced... to, er… react to us. So it wasn’t just an excuse he was giving Rainbow.”
“He thinks I’m pretty, he knows I’m pretty, he doesn’t feel that I am pretty,” Rainbow Dash agreed, adding, “but he does feel like AJ is more a sister.”
“There isn’t anything other than humans that can talk on his world…” continued Twilight Sparkle.
“That sounds awful lonely,” Pinkie Pie said, giving another squeeze to the hug on Rainbow Dash.
“So he isn’t used to kissing anything but humans,” concluded Rainbow Dash before muttering, “not properly at least.”
“Or improperly,” Rarity smiled, fluttering her eyelashes, “so that is a problem.” She paused and looked thoughtful. “Though if he mentioned this to Spike three days before you kissed him then I have to wonder when that was.”
“Yesterday,” replied Rainbow Dash.
“Oh my!” Rarity exclaimed. “No wonder the poor dear was still confused yesterday afternoon and wanted a day or two to sort things out.”
“Eee’yup,” agreed Applejack. “Gets a kiss from one fine Mare and then gets invited to a fancy party by another.”
“And tells the ‘another’ she should invite Spike instead.”
Twilight Sparkle blushed. “Before he said about his problem with Ponies in general he did reassure Spike that he’d not ‘stick my spoon in your porridge’ even if he did like-like you.”
“What a gallant way of putting it,” said Rarity in mock admiration.
“Ah think that was the day he turned up at Sweet Apple Acres looking so tired ah made him nap in th’ barn,” Applejack pointed out, “so he’d not have been at his best.”
“I wasn’t being entirely facetious,” smiled Rarity.
“So!” Pinkie Pie commented, releasing Rainbow Dash to begin bouncing around the room. “How are we going to help Dashie?”
“And if he told her what he thought of Applejack,” mused Rarity, “did he tell her what he thought of the rest of us?”
“I… did need the reassurance,” Rainbow Dash said, looking to each in turn. “That there wasn’t somepony else who’d get more…er… response.”
“Right! Quite understandable and forgivable,” nodded Rarity. “So Applejack is like a sister and I am Spike’s porridge…” She paused to enjoy the double entendre. “…‘spoon’ not to be stuck into…”
“What about me? What about me?” Pinkie Pie demanded.
“You’d be more a strawberry mousse,” teased Rarity. Pinkie Pie stuck her tongue out at this and made a rude noise. Rarity nodded. “Raspberry mousse rather.”
“He likes you Pinkie,” Rainbow Dash said, “but as a friend and thinks it would drive him nuts trying to keep up with you.”
“Fair enough!”
“Did he talk to you yet Fluttershy?” Rainbow Dash asked.
“He helped me with the animals this morning, but what was he supposed to talk to me about?” twittered Fluttershy. “I was being a real babble mouth about them,” she added, looking through her mane at her friends and making a statement that have surprised Joe as he’d thought that, if anything, he’d done more of the talking, “and about the differences between them and those on Joe’s world and…”
“And that’s fine,” Rainbow Dash said cutting off the flow of words. “If you were happy enough to be a ‘babble mouth’ then that shows you like him.”
“He thought I didn’t?” asked Fluttershy, wondering if that was why Joe had been taking such pains to reassure her that humans weren’t that bad.
“You did act rather scared of him after we saw him fighting the Manticore.”
Fluttershy nodded. “I did talk to him after that though.”
“And he’d said he thought he was on good terms with you,” added Twilight Sparkle, looking a little puzzled.
“Something about a conversation not interrupted by Discord or his own tiredness,” Rainbow Dash supplied.
“I woke him up while he was napping in the barn,” nodded Fluttershy again, “and he wasn’t very… awake… during the very short chat.”
“So!” Rarity said. “Of us that only leaves Twilight.”
“I…er… what?” stuttered Twilight Sparkle “Why would Joe…”
“He thinks she is pretty and intelligent…” Rainbow Dash said, giving Twilight Sparkle an apologetic look as she began to answer.
“Cain’t argue with that,” nodded Applejack. “Other than to say it’s understating it a mite.”
“He did say a girl like her back on his world would have been attractive, though intimidating as she is so smart…”
“Oh,” said Twilight Sparkle, looking a little embarrassed.
“But here he’d not been being as much of an egghead,” Rainbow Dash finished, “as the more he learned the more strange things he discovered.”
“Poor Joe,” agreed Pinkie Pie, “I remember him being surprised that gems looked like they do.”
“However else would they look?” Rarity asked, seeming more surprised by that than anything else.
“He made them sound like boiled sweets that looked dull,” said Pinkie Pie, “but if you cut them then you got a clean and shiny surface.”
“How bizarre…” Rarity blinked before nodding, “though I see how he’d think the same about not needing to cut them.”
“Ah hate ter say this, but better ta get things out in th’ open,” said Applejack, returning the topic to their friend rather than inanimate sparklies. “If Joe’s been talking ta Fluttershy about th’ differences between his world and this and been telling th’ Cutie Mark Crusaders about how humans fly then seems ta me that he’s been being plenty eggheaded. So there ain’t that extra reason no more fer him ta not think a Mare like Twilight is attractive here.”
“He’d also said he thought Twi was more interested in his answers to questions than interested in his person…” Rainbow Dash admitted, but then she looked at her friend. “Though, how about it Twi?”
Twilight Sparkle looked even more embarrassed at this direct question and the way the other five, not just Rainbow Dash, were looking at her for her reaction and waiting for her reply. “I like Joe, as a person, not just as a source of information, but I don’t like him in the way that Rainbow does… and that it does seem he likes her, despite his problem.”
“Details!” Rarity demanded, again.
“A couple of kisses and some talking,” replied Rainbow Dash, frowning at her friend as the demands began to annoy her.
“Oh you are impossible!” Rarity replied melodramatically.
There was a brief pause while Rarity wound down from muttering how the juicy details would have been the cherry on the cake, and Pinkie Pie agreed that cherries on cake were yummy before adding that cakes on cherries were even yummier. Then, under some gentle prompting by Fluttershy, Rainbow Dash had confirmed what Joe had said to her about his reasons. Applejack had started to frown as she thought through what had been said and she turned that frown on Rainbow Dash.
“Are you in season, Rainbow?” Applejack asked.
“What? No,” blinked Rainbow Dash, “so you can’t blame me kissing Joe on that!”
“Oh sure,” Rarity sighed, rolling her eyes dramatically, “answer her questions.”
“Ah weren’t thinking that, just puzzled by th’ mention of ‘parts’ and all,” replied Applejack, “ah’m sure they should respond to you even without th’ extra kick, though kick ain’t th’ best way of putting it…”
“I think a kick would worsen matters,” Pinkie Pie nodded sagely.
“But he did seem to be making such a big deal about it all,” continued Applejack, “about needing to be right worked up, ah’m baffled.”
Fluttershy suddenly squeaked. “Joe mentioned a creature called a Bonobo…”
“He mentioned them when I asked about humans and talking,” Twilight Sparkle nodded. “One of humans closest relatives.”
“Did he mention their… er… special ‘habit’?” asked Fluttershy, starting to tinge with red.
“Habit?” Twilight Sparkle frowned.
“He, er, said a Chimpanzee would smash an unusual object, or fight over it” continued Fluttershy, her redness increasing, “but Bonobo would use finding an unusual object as an excuse for a round of mating. And that they would use any excuse, or none, to do that.”
“And?” Twilight Sparkle asked, not seeing the point though Rainbow Dash was starting to blush in suspicion.
“I asked him if humans were that bad,” said Fluttershy, having reached a deep blush, “but he thought I meant as violent as Chimps.”
“Oh my!” Rarity exclaimed, catching on. “Are you saying, darling, that he didn’t deny humans were as bad as Bonobo?”
“All he said was their habits seemed excessive,” squeaked Fluttershy, surpassing her deep blush to achieve a room filling glow, “but that was after he’d said he thought they’d found a better solution than violence.”
“Oh my!” Rarity exclaimed again.
“And he had a problem rather than a solution with me,” added Rainbow Dash, almost managing to equal Fluttershy’s blush as she looked at the floor again.
“Well, that does account fer that,” Applejack nodded. “Iffen humans mate when they feel like it then makes sense they mate when they feel like it, if that makes sense? They don’t have a season where their ‘parts’ are demanding it, and they feel th’ extra need, and other times where it’s less their ‘parts’, might be their ‘parts’ demanding it all th’ time.”
“Or their ‘parts’ are involved all the time at least,” mused Twilight Sparkle.
“He did say he thought Bonobo mating so much was excessive,” Fluttershy agreed, her blush fading as this became an interesting discussion of comparative biology.
“And he was thinking about romance,” added Rarity.
“So might be that he needs th’ mental stuff we get worked up by out of season,” Applejack nodded, “but he’s also used to listening to his ‘parts’ saying whether they are demanding something or not?”
“Guys!”
The four Ponies stopped and looked at Rainbow Dash as she almost shrieked. To their surprise her eyes were glistening enough it almost looked as if she was going to cry. Seeing this Pinkie Pie bounced over for another dose of hugging.
“Guys,” Rainbow Dash repeated, more calmly, “this is… me. This is my problem and my feelings you are discussing.”
“That ain’t quite right, sugar cube,” said Applejack, “though ah’ll admit that as Joe’s problem is your problem we’re talking only one step off.”
“So,” Pinkie Pie repeated, “how do we help Dashie?”
“As much as I am tempted to march down to Joe’s hut and tell him he is going to take Rainbow Dash to Canterlot, he is going to show her a good time, and he is going to kiss her and do whatever else she wants… and no arguing about it…” said Rarity, “I think we need to just do what you are doing.”
With that instruction Rarity, with grace and dignity rather than bounce, stood and crossed to join the hugging.
“Sound’s right ta’ me,” Applejack agreed.
“Er, yes,” nodded Fluttershy.
“And to me,” Twilight Sparkle said.
Once all five were firmly attached to their friend Rarity continued. “Remember, darling, Joe is unsure about all this. If he doesn’t ask you to Canterlot today then he will tomorrow, as he said he’d let me know by then so I could tell Fancy Pants.”
“An iffen he don’t ask you then ah’ll give his parts a literal kick, even tho’ Pinkie is right that would worsen things,” Applejack growled.
“AJ!”
“They ain’t doing him no good Rainbow, so why not?” Applejack winked, showing she was mostly joking.
==
So far today had been quite peaceful, Joe decided. The visit to Fluttershy had started poorly but he’d kept his temper, almost entirely, despite the frustration of being regarded with such fear and eventually she’d relaxed. He’d just had to keep reminding himself of the nervous kitten and hopefully he was not deluding himself in thinking he’d left her with a good impression of him, even if he’d had to admit humans were almost as violent as Chimps. His luck had held with seeing Pinkie Pie for a hello and not seeing Rarity for a scolding about his attire. And now it seemed his luck was continuing to hold with the model making.
Joe had not been trying to do anything too polished or perfect and he wasn’t sure he could reach the higher level of precision. It had been a pleasant surprise though just how well things had gone as although he’d always been able to visualise 3d objects and had been moderately successful in making those virtual he’d always been more cack handed when it came to making them physical. Of course with enough money that problem could be eased with expensive machinery connected to your computer or by hiring someone less cack handed to work from your design.
The second of those options might be possible here, even if it would be someone who wasn’t cack hoofed or cack horned, but that did require them to have the design to work from as well as being willing to work cheaply enough. Which brought Joe back to fiddling with these little models and dangling things by threads and seeing what the options looked like. And as much as he knew the metal was heavier he still needed to feel the weight, compared with wood or fabric, to subdue the temptation to keep adding places where that was used instead.
==
“Come on, shoo y’all,” Applejack ordered.
“I hope everything works out,” said Fluttershy over her shoulder, being shooed easily and leaving.
“But I want to hear,” Rarity pouted, not being easily shooed and not leaving.
“Let them talk in private,” repeated Applejack, bracing the top of her head and squashing her hat between that and Rarity’s rear. “Seems Twilight knows more and has some extra advice.”
“But I want to hear!” Rarity whined, hooves sliding on the floor as Applejack pushed. “Eeek, and now I will definitely need another Ponycure.”
“Awwww,” said Pinkie Pie sympathetically, keeping pace with Applejack.
“Beside, you’ve someplace else to be,” Applejack argued, “got Spike to invite to Canterlot as seems sure Rainbow will say yes when Joe asks.”
“Don’t count on it,” called Rainbow Dash from where she was still standing with Twilight Sparkle.
“What?” Rarity asked, her voice fading with distance. “But that is the most prestigious….”
Twilight Sparkle looked at her friend for a moment and waited a few moments more to make sure Applejack had time to push Rarity to a safe distance. With a slightly sad smile Rainbow Dash shrugged.
“I love you guys,” Rainbow Dash said, “but I’m not sure I’d have come here today if I’d known that was going to happen.”
“I’m sorry if I said too much when I mentioned Joe’s problem…” began Twilight Sparkle.
“No, no Twi,” Rainbow Dash interrupted. “I know you were trying to help by saying it was his problem and not me or an excuse. But I’m not sure I was going to mention it.”
“Oh.”
“To be honest, and if you tell AJ this I’ll deny it,” Rainbow Dash continued, “when she said sometimes there wasn’t any spark I was thinking ‘well, there was some with me’ and that was why I told her Joe thinks of her like a sister.”
“Doesn’t he?”
“He does.”
“Oh, erm, what about me? You seemed rather… vehement… in making sure what my feelings towards him were.”
“I don’t think I’d mind as much Twi,” Rainbow Dash admitted. “I’d still want to stick one of my hooves in your face, but I’d know you’d appealed to a different side of him. Whereas AJ and me, we are kind of alike and kind of competitive…”
“Hrm,” nodded Twilight Sparkle. She could imagine how she’d feel if she’d a special somepony and they’d decided they preferred Trixie. “Well.”
“Well,” Rainbow Dash nodded back.
“Maybe turning you into a human would work…”
“Maybe it would work too well,” Rainbow Dash replied, “I wanted him to like me but I wasn’t thinking of, you know, not for a while… though if I was a mare-human…”
“Woman I think.”
Rainbow Dash nodded. “Then maybe I would have been thinking of that, right away, if they are like these Bonobos and if I’d been as affected as he seems to think he’d be if he was turned into a Pony.”
“Though you do like him that way already…”
“And he does like me that way,” Rainbow Dash retorted, holding Twilight Sparkle’s eyes for a moment before she nodded. “But fair enough, wouldn’t need as much to make me act on it sooner as it would him to be able to act on it at all.”
“It’s just fortunate I didn’t ask him about shape changing,” commented Twilight Sparkle.
“Why?”
“Neither of us knew Rarity had invited him to Canterlot, so he’d been kissed and confused…”
Rainbow Dash nodded again. “And rather than ‘just’ being confused by that he also had to decide whether to invite me and how I’d take it. So if he was also having to figure out how he’d react to me if I looked human…” She sighed and then smiled with a wink. “Though even if I wasn’t thinking of going that far at least it would show his ‘parts’ had begin to work if enough pressure made him fix on the Bonobo solution.”
“Believe me,” Twilight Sparkle said, giving Rainbow Dash a flat look, “as much as I love Shining Armour I’ve seen from him it does not take a Bonobo, or a human, to decide things can be solved by trying to mate. Or wait to be solved until after that attempt was made.”
“Or solved by making them want to, but saying it has to be solved first,” grinned Rainbow Dash before sobering. “But I don’t think I want to seduce Joe into anything, even if it would be fun and I’d like to be able to.”
“I’ll work on the spell. In case.”
“Thanks.”
==
If ‘sulk’ had physical form then it would be dripping through the floorboards and perhaps even overflowing out through the windows of the Clubhouse of the Cutie Mark Crusaders. The afternoon lessons had not gone well and neither had their attempts to find an answer to Sweetie Belle’s question of what to do about Ponies not believing them about what Joe had done or that he had been telling the truth in what he’d said. They cared more about if Miss Cheerilee believed them but agreed that it would be more satisfying to make Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon eat their words.
“His armour is quite interesting,” Sweetie Belle suggested hesitantly, “maybe we could bring it in for show-and-tell?”
“You were the one who pointed out he don’t want no fuss,” replied Apple Bloom. “So ain’t likely he’d lend it to us.”
“Maybe he wouldn’t lend it to us…” Scootaloo mused.
“An’ we ain’t stealing it from him,” frowned Apple Bloom.
“I was only thinking of borrowing it,” Scootaloo protested.
“An’ what do you call borrowing without permission?”
“Oh, alright. Besides it looks heavy.”
“Fer us maybe,” Apple Bloom said, “he don’t seem to have no problems carrying or wearing it.”
“He did say he’d made sure it was light enough,” agreed Sweetie Belle, “but you did say that I said that he didn’t want any fuss.”
“Eee’yup,” Apple Bloom admitted, “and even if Granny Smith invited him to dinner that one time ah don’t think he’d count for family appreciation day.”
They nodded to each other and Apple Bloom remembered just how much she’d dreaded bringing Granny Smith in for that and the lengths she and the other two had gone to trying to prevent it. That had worked out well though when the story Granny Smith told was of the founding of Ponyville and they learned her family were the original settlers and had been granted the land directly and in person by Princess Celestia herself. Diamond Tiara had not been pleased as it was harder to sneer about your wealth and being a member of one of the founding families of a town when you discovered the Old Mare you’d sneered at was one of the founding family. Worse still, from her perspective, the Zap Apple jam Granny Smith had invented was not only the basis of her family’s wealth it was the reason why they and enough other Ponies had settled here for there to be a Ponyville rather than just Sweet Apple Acres.
“Apple Bloom? You up there?” a voice called from outside.
“Applejack?” replied Apple Bloom, trotting to the window to stick her head out.
“Gettin’ on for time for you to be heading back to th’ house, and for your friends to be heading home,” Applejack called out.
“Awwww,” protested Scootaloo, sticking her head out the other window. “It’s not that late.”
“It’s late enough, so say your goodbyes and get moving,” Applejack said firmly. “Ah’ll wait a little, but ah don’t want ta have to wait too long.”
“Yes sis,” said Apple Bloom, withdrawing back into the clubhouse.
“But we haven’t figured out what to do,” Scootaloo said quietly, having also withdrawn.
“It’ll just have to wait, ah ain’t arguing with mah sister,” said Apple Bloom, starting to gather her things.
“And we didn’t seem to have any more ideas anyway,” Sweetie Belle pointed out, following suit.
“Hrn,” grumbled Scootaloo, putting their aircraft sketches away. “I just wanted to have some way to deal with them tomorrow.”
“Maybe someone else will have a suggestion?” Sweetie Belle said hopefully.
“Maybe.”
“Apple Bloom, girls, come on now,” Applejack called from outside.
“Just coming sis,” shouted Apple Bloom before lowering her voice again. “Ah’m not sure we should spread our argument.”
“Do you remember the problems we had with your cousin?” Scootaloo asked, getting her things together.
“Ah do, but we ain’t being bullied… well, no more than normal. And we know Diamond Tiara and Silver Spoon ain’t got no special excuses.”
“I’m not sure we’d be spreading our argument if you asked one person,” mused Sweetie Belle, “seems he’s already had it spread over him.”
Apple Bloom nodded and led the way outside, hearing a slight sigh from Applejack and realising that was her sister exhaling the deep breath she’d drawn in for a louder call to come along. The two Cutie Mark Crusaders who needed to use that method climbed down while Scootaloo just jumped and settled with a buzz of slowing wings. Watched by Applejack they made their goodbyes and Scootaloo and Sweetie Belle started towards Ponyville.
“Can we go see Joe?” Apple Bloom asked, turning appealing eyes on her big sister.
“Well… ain’t that far, but only a short visit as we need to get washed up for dinner in plenty of time.”
“Yes sis.”
==
Leaning back against the wall of his hut Joe pondered the setting sun and if this world with a living Goddess of the Sun had the same sort of solar cycles as his own. But even with people trying to argue that those affected the weather more than anything else it seemed better to stop belching crap into the air. And there’d long been the argument that the mass extinctions and ecological change caused by humanity were significant enough to regard their time on the planet as a new biological period like the Triassic or Cretaceous or something. It made it hard to talk to Fluttershy as you couldn’t mention conservationists and nature reserves without the implication of what would happen without them.
Brooding a little on if he’d ever find a good thing to say that he didn’t fear implied something bad as well Joe went back to sanding and shaping a thin shape of wood. The sheet beside him had been cut apart and rough aerofoil shapes cut from the sections, now he was bringing the wood down to the carefully drawn lines so these could be used as wing ribs. Then he ‘just’ had the problem of making sure this was symmetrical and fitting them all together. To Joe’s relief he saw Apple Bloom and Applejack approaching and he smiled in welcome at the distraction from thoughts and work.
“How’s it going?” Applejack asked, a little annoyed that Joe seemed to have been calmly getting on with things while Rainbow Dash had been quite so upset during the day. Seemed he should have been more than a mite unable to concentrate on whatever it was he was doing rather than being surrounded by small crude models of something.
“Quite well,” replied Joe, further annoying Applejack, “getting an idea of how things can fit together and…” He demonstrated by picking up and shaking one of the small models. “How wobbly fitting them together different ways is.”
“Diamond Tiara was nasty!” Apple Bloom said. “She didn’t believe us about you and human flying machines! She laughed at the sketches we’d made.”
“Oh, well it’s not a change her being nasty,” shrugged Joe, “and other than sympathise I’m not sure what I can do.”
Applejack nodded. Her sister’s interruption had allowed her to resist the temptation to tell Joe he should have been getting an idea of how different things could fit together, though of course she’d have meant his and Rainbow Dash’s needs rather than their ‘parts’. But Apple Bloom had mentioned all the work in the library on figuring things out with Joe and Twilight Sparkle so, if these were models of flying things, at least he’d been working on something she and the other Cutie Mark Crusaders would find interesting.
“If one of those models will fly,” Applejack said carefully, “then would that be proof?”
“The little ones wouldn’t be much proof, and I’d only made them roughly,” mused Joe, confirming to Applejack she was right about what they were. “And this wing I am working on is just a test, seeing how it goes and what mistakes to avoid when and if I tried one for an actual model.”
“It looks like you haven’t made any mistakes,” Apple Bloom reassured him, looking at the cut and shaped ribs.
“Thanks. ”
“And you’ve got a lot planned out,” Apple Bloom continued, nodding at the plans and all the alterations and additions. “So maybe you could make a larger model tomorrow?”
“I’m not sure, I do have chores at Sweet Apple Acres tomorrow morning,” said Joe, with a slight thoughtful frown, “and if you three have been making your own designs I’d not want to ignore those or your ideas.”
“Our sketches are at our clubhouse,” Apple Bloom argued, “and ah, and ah’m sure the others, would trust you to look at our sketches and see what is good and start making a model.”
“Why the rush?”
“Ah, Joe, you ain’t never been a filly,” Applejack smiled, “fer two obvious reasons, but ah think you might be able to remember being a young ‘un? And not wanting ta wait to show up some other young ‘un?”
“Alas, humans are so terrible and violent,” nodded Joe, “that as a young ‘un my solutions would be more direct.” He sighed. “Actually, seriously, even with humans school is the last time a lot of people get into a fight, and girls tend to be more… subtle… anyway rather than just hit each other. So I’m not unaware.”
“Will you do it?” Apple Bloom asked, attempting to emulate a Tarsier with the apparent size of her eyes.
“I can see what I can do and, when you get out of school,” said Joe, conceding, “we can see how far we can get during the rest of the day. Whether we can make a model tomorrow or only start making a model tomorrow I don’t know.”
“Thanks! That sounds a lot better idea than the ones we’d had.”
“Pardon?”
“Nothing,” Apple Bloom blushed.