Joe crossed the small bridge over the stream and walked up the short slope to the cottage almost buried in lush green foliage. He hesitated and then knocked, trying to make it firm without being too loud. For several moments he wondered if he had knocked hard enough, but it was a nice day so there was no hardship in waiting.
“Yes?” a small voice asked from the other side of the door.
“It’s Joe, Granny Smith said I needed to come visit you Fluttershy.”
“Oh.”
“If it is an inconvenient time,” Joe offered, “I can come back another. Or not at all if she was mistaken.”
“No, please,” said Fluttershy, opening the door, “come in.”
“Thank you,” Joe said, leaning forward a little to not hit his head and giving Fluttershy a smile as she peered from behind the door.
“Please,” continued Fluttershy, shutting the door and turning to face Joe, “sit down. Would you like something to eat or drink?”
“I don’t want to put you to any trouble,” smiled Joe, crossing his legs as he sat on the rather low sofa.
“No trouble,” Fluttershy squeaked, letting her mane come down as a defensive barrier across her face. “You did the same for us yesterday.”
“Er, no,” chuckled Joe. “You and Rarity did all the work, so at most I’d consider it even.”
“Oh.”
Joe hesitated and then shook his head slightly to himself as Fluttershy continued to hide behind her mane. “I am sorry for upsetting you yesterday…” he began.
“Oh! No,” Fluttershy interrupted. “It’s… not that.” Joe waited patiently, trying to look encouraging and reassuring, until Fluttershy managed to raise her head a little and let her mane slide back more away from her face. “Rainbow Dash and Applejack were right, you were being scary but scary because you needed to.”
“Thank you,” said Joe, adding after a pause, “but you still seem upset about something, so I feel I should ask if it is something I can help with.”
“I…” Fluttershy said, biting her lower lip slightly and summoning the courage to look straight at Joe. “I feel guilty. About you.”
“Why ever so?” asked Joe, sounding very puzzled.
“I’ve ignored you.”
“No… you have been pleasant enough when we’ve met, and I consider you as a friend. Or at least closer to that than to just an acquaintance.”
“But… you’re a human.”
“And have been for quite a few years.”
“The only human in Equestria.”
“As far as I know.”
“And I haven’t asked you about yourself,” squeaked Fluttershy. “The moment I saw Spike I wanted to know everything he could tell me about being a Dragon but I haven’t asked you anything. I’ve ignored you.”
“Well, I’m not sure there is anything to tell,” Joe reassured her. “I am very average and rather boring…”
“Only because you work at it,” a different voice interrupted from behind him.
Joe stood and turned, his hand going to the hilt of his knife and nearly drawing it as he saw the beast. A serpentine body with mismatched limbs and tail and wings leading to a goat’s head with mismatched horns. Unpleasant yellow eyes looking down at him and a mocking look of amusement at the reaction. Before Joe could decide between flight or fight or talk there was a shriek.
“Discord!” Fluttershy cried, launching herself into a flying hug and striking with enough speed that the embodiment of Chaos rocked back at the impact.
At the name Joe released his grip on his knife and watched as Fluttershy hugged and Discord, careful of his claws and talons, returned it. Fluttershy eventually released her friend and settled back down onto the floor with a few delicate flaps of her wings. Discord and Joe looked at each other for a few more moments.
“Boring,” repeated Discord. “Were I not reformed I would be quite disappointed.”
“Then I am glad you are reformed,” Joe replied.
“Hrm,” said Discord, flipping a ‘finger’ of his hawk’s-foot hand and making Joe have to catch a teacup and saucer. “And so you should be… though…”
“What is the matter?” Fluttershy asked, putting a hoof on her friend sympathetically.
“As… unaccustomed… as I am to the idea,” grated Discord, “I do… feel, from your example of course, my dear… that I owe Joe an apology.”
“It was your doing wasn’t it?” Joe said, more stating that questioning, and taking a sip and finding that although it looked like tea in this cup it was actually chocolate milk.
“Let’s sit,” replied Discord, vanishing and reappearing sprawled along the length of the sofa. “Ah, pre-warmed for me.”
“Of course,” Joe nodded, “how could we fail to not anticipate your arrival. You are so regular in your habits.”
“My dear fellow, no need to be insulting.”
“Or perhaps every need. You are a trickster god, from what I’ve heard, so words are all I have.”
“You don’t want to stab me with your sharp and shiny blade?”
“I am sure the result would be comedic rather than bloody, and I have been warned by Granny Smith to ‘not go scaring’ Fluttershy,” said Joe, sitting on the chair. “Besides even if I could hurt you, and it would not make me a hypocrite after feeling insulted at the warning, I feel more interested in answers.”
“And he did say sorry,” Fluttershy pointed out, looking a bit subdued again at the tension and settling between them.
“That as well,” smiled Joe.
“I also owe you an explanation,” Discord continued. “You know I was turned to stone by Fluttershy here and the other Elements of Harmony?”
Fluttershy looked embarrassed as Joe nodded, and then even more so as he spoke. “There are a lot of tales of her, and their, bravery against various threats but dealing with you was one of the more notable triumphs. Despite your attempt to corrupt them.”
“Corrupt is…” Discord protested, before nodding. “Well, yes, that is a word that could be used.”
“I…” squeaked Fluttershy, letting her mane slip over her face and looking at the floorboards. “I was nasty. But Discord didn’t make me any nastier than Iron Will’s assertiveness training did. So I know he didn’t bring out more than was inside me already.”
“Or the training brought out what he’d placed in you and what you’d overcome before,” Joe said, glowering at Discord.
“I’ve… forgiven him,” said Fluttershy, looking up and forcing Joe to quickly return his expression to a more neutral set.
“Indeed she has,” Discord agreed, “so the image of grinding a statue to sand and scattering it across a dozen beaches is rather uncalled for.”
“Joe!”
“But… it would have been safer,” Discord admitted. “Even though I was stone I still had some awareness and some magic. Not a lot and far from enough to be able to affect anything strong, but the more complex something was the more chance there was I could influence it subtly and make a difference.”
Joe nodded. “Appropriately enough,” he commented, “that sounds a little like Chaos Theory…”
“What a delightful name!” Discord commented.
“Which is the idea that some things can’t be predicted,” continued Joe, “because the more complex something is the more effect even a tiny change can have as that affects one thing which affects another which… well, and so on.”
“And I sensed that if I gave a certain very complex spell a… nudge,” Discord said, “then that could shake things up. I might be trapped in stone but I could introduce a new element of chaos. But then Joe pretended to be an idiot.”
“Not deliberately,” protested Joe. “I think I did quite well to get over my shock as fast as I did.”
“Hmm,” said Discord. Then he nodded and waved his hawk-foot hand again.
There was a slight flash and a purple Unicorn appeared, a few feet off the floor. Twilight Sparkle dropped with a ‘yip’ and landed with her legs splaying out as her hooves slipped on the floorboards. She recovered and stood up, looking around and recognising Fluttershy’s cottage, and then glared. “Discord!”
“Wait!” Discord said hurriedly, seeing the look in Twilight Sparkle’s eyes and the magic beginning to glow around her horn. “I was just trying to save you and Fluttershy some trouble.”
“How?” growled Twilight Sparkle, feeling the slight twinges of the landing.
“I was explaining things to Joe,” Discord replied, “and I know Fluttershy would tell you and then you’d write to Celly…”
“Princess Celestia to you,” said Twilight Sparkle.
“Of course, of course,” Discord agreed. “So it seemed better you be here to hear for yourself.”
“And you had to drop her?” asked Fluttershy, giving Discord a reproachful look.
“I am reformed,” Discord replied, placing his dragon-‘hand’ on his narrow chest, “not humourless, and that was funny.”
“It’s okay Fluttershy,” said Twilight Sparkle before her friend could further protest. Then she looked at Discord. “This time.”
“Oh, I am quailing in my…” Discord started, before remembering his manners. “Sorry.”
“What have I missed?” asked Twilight Sparkle, looking to Fluttershy and making it clear who she expected to answer.
“Well…” Fluttershy began, “I was talking to Joe and Discord appeared and…”
Twilight Sparkle nodded as her friend went through what had been said. Then as Fluttershy finished she looked at Discord. “So you can’t send him home?”
“My dear,” Discord protested, “there is little I cannot do.” Twilight Sparkle continued to look at him. “But that is one of those things,” he admitted.
“I don’t understand,” said Fluttershy. “If you brought him here then why not?”
“He gave the spell a nudge,” Joe sighed. “So he knows how he affected the part he nudged…”
“And the part that part nudged,” said Discord, “but even I lost track as the effects rippled and the Ponies tried to correct what was going wrong.”
Fluttershy nodded. “Why did you say you were disappointed and Joe was working at being boring?” she asked.
“Has he been talking about his world?” Discord replied. “Has he been doing anything to catch your interest, before yesterday at least?”
“I still dispute that I am working at being boring,” frowned Joe. “Fluttershy apologised for not asking me about myself, but if I was interesting then they’d have shown some curiosity back in Canterlot.”
“Did you give them any reason to?” Discord said, knowing the answer.
“I suppose not,” shrugged Joe. “I’d not come across as very bright, so they were not asking much, and I was not volunteering much either.”
“Why not?” Twilight Sparkle asked.
“Constantly saying ‘in my country we do this, in my country we do that, in my country we have this tradition’ can be obnoxious,” Joe replied. “But it was more from what I’d read of the history of Equestria.”
“Equestria has always been welcoming!” Twilight Sparkle protested. “So why you think you would have anything to fear from…”
She cut herself off at Discord’s mocking chuckle, which redoubled as he saw her baffled look towards him. “Oh, my dear,” he managed to say, “it was quite the opposite. Joe here knew how nice you Ponies are but his people, how did that ditty you sing before spring go?” With that question Discord slithered up from the sofa and swiftly assumed a singing pose.
Five thousand years of history,
Fifty thousand wars,
Five hundred thousand battles fought,
On sea and land and shores…
“Enough!” Joe growled, interrupting the song and putting down his cup and saucer.
Fluttershy rose and put a hoof on Joe’s knee. “It’s okay,” she reassured him, “there’s no need to be ashamed of things.”
“That’s the problem,” Joe said, patting the hoof with one hand and giving her a slightly sad smile, “I’m not ashamed.”
“I don’t understand,” said Twilight Sparkle, peering at Joe.
“Don’t get me wrong, there are things I’d rather not mention,” Joe admitted as Fluttershy withdrew her hoof, “as much as I’d be condemning them I’d also be saying humans had done those things. But my main problem was that, judging from the history, something I’d consider as a good tale of heroism and valour, something I would tell with enthusiasm and pride, would not be regarded as such a good story here.”
“So… you said nothing?” asked Twilight Sparkle.
“And he disputes he works at being boring,” Discord commented, sliding back down onto the sofa.
Joe shrugged. “As Twilight said, they have been welcoming,” he replied, “so it would be ill to repay that by not respecting their beliefs and telling inappropriate stories. If the histories weren’t enough then the Royal Guard and other things were.” Twilight Sparkle looked at him so Joe continued. “Some of the things you Ponies have are things that humans turned into weapons, or invented using skills learned from making weapons, so it shows how peaceful you are that neither seemed the case here.”
“Hmm,” Twilight Sparkle said, sounding unconvinced, “and you decided that by looking at the Royal Guard?”
“Not at first,” said Joe. “I do come from a monarchy, one where the troops of the royal household alternate between active service and ceremonial so I did wonder if the same was true here and if the Guards I had seen were armed and armoured traditionally, for ceremonial duties. But when I saw pictures of just before the Changeling invasion that seemed less likely.”
Twilight Sparkle nodded. To put more pressure on her brother, Shining Armour, as Captain of the Royal Guard and distract him from noticing any flaws in her masquerade Queen Chrysalis had let Canterlot know there was a threat to the city. So the Guards had been acting in more than a ceremonial role, but had still been wearing the same armour and carrying the same spears rather than having whatever it was Joe would expect.
“That’s why you got the armour you did,” Twilight said more than asked.
“I knew you had segmented plate,” nodded Joe, “so that was nothing new…” He stopped and looked at Discord who assumed an expression of surprise at the sudden interest. Thinking of cultural contamination had made Joe think of stories where that was forbidden, and had made him realise what it was Discord’s voice reminded him of. For a moment he wondered if a different story that suggested all fictional universes actually existed was true and if the trickster god lounging on the sofa was actually the same entity.
“What?” Discord asked.
“Just a memory,” said Joe, looking away and towards the much prettier Twilight Sparkle.
“So,” Twilight Sparkle mused, “even when you were doing something you wanted to keep quiet you were limiting yourself?”
“Boring, as I said,” commented Discord.
“More than once,” Joe commented back.
“More than true,” said Discord with a nod. “Though I suppose I should be grateful or Celly…”
“Princess Celestia,” Twilight Sparkle corrected again.
“Would be having me correct the problems,” continued Discord, not acknowledging the correction, “since I am reformed.”
“So you have said,” Joe pointed out.
“So I have,” nodded Discord, “and more than once, but like you being boring it does bear repetition.”
“Still,” Joe said, “I appreciate the apology you gave. I’ll not say I forgive you, but I appreciate that you were polite enough to confess and apologise, rather than keeping it quiet and avoiding trouble.” Then Joe sighed and closed his eyes for a moment. “And yes, I see the contrast with me keeping quiet to avoid trouble.”
“I wasn’t going to say it,” smiled Discord.
“I might have done,” Twilight Sparkle admitted.
“Erm,” squeaked Fluttershy, “I’d have said Joe might be happier if he did talk about things.”
“Or if I did even more of a favour for him,” Discord said.
“More of a favour?”
“No need for that expression,” Discord protested, “you’ve appreciated how I gave Twilight’s magic and the potions of that dreary rhyming Zebra a boost.”
“Zecora is not dreary!” said Twilight, coming to the defence of her fellow mage.
“She is, erm, nice,” Fluttershy agreed.
“I quite like her,” agreed Joe. “But you are saying this…” He clenched a fist to feel his muscles tense as he looked at it before looking back at Discord. “Is your work rather than mine?”
“You still needed to spend your time on mindless exertion,” Discord replied, “but, let’s just say that without my efforts theirs would not have succeeded so well. You’d be strong by your world’s unmagical standards, but still weak by those here.”
“Hrm,” nodded Joe, remembering Big Macintosh and him saying he’d just pull the tree out of the ground. Joe wasn’t sure that would have even been possible back on his world, and certainly it would have taken a team of horses to even approach having enough strength.
“So, I helped.” Discord continued, “And as I am reformed…”
“Supposedly,” muttered Twilight Sparkle, getting a look of protest from Fluttershy.
“I restrained myself to making the spell work as they’d intended,” Discord concluded, “so you are as strong compared with them as your, tediously repetitive, exercise would have made you compared with creatures on your world. As I said though I am willing to do more.” He gave Joe a smile. “How would you like to be strong enough you could have wrestled that Crocodile? Or strong enough to wrestle a full grown Dragon?”
“That…” blinked Joe, visions of heroic deeds passing before his mental eye before he shook his head, “no.”
“No?” Discord repeated, drawing his head back in surprise and looking like a snake coiling to strike.
“I don’t think I have it in me,” said Joe, “not the sort of spirit that would use that power as it deserves or be able to set an example with it.” He paused to organise his thoughts. “There are tales of heroes,” he explained, “and the greatest power of one of them is not his vast strength, it is his ability to see and hear the worst of people but still believe the best of them. To unselfishly help them rather than not bother or use his abilities to help only himself.”
Discord frowned at this rejection. “I wasn’t offering you a… red cape?” he pointed out, picking up another image from Joe’s thoughts and sounding puzzled at what he saw.
“Even so, you are a trickster god,” Joe said. “You may be reformed and benign, now, but that only means your tricks lack malice and may be intended to teach a lesson or show a different path. Not that they’d lack amusement for you or not cause problems for others.”
“As you wish,” said Discord, adding in a more taunting tone, “but you’ll regret it.”
“I am sure I will,” Joe admitted. “Though thank you for the offer.”
“I suppose you’ll reject my other offer as well.”
“Which would be?” asked Joe, eyes narrowing in suspicion slightly.
“How would you like to be a Pony? If you are worried about standing out too much then I could help you blend in.”
“That… is more tempting,” Joe nodded, “but I think not.”
“Why?” asked Fluttershy. “Aren’t you lonely being the only human?”
“Maybe,” Joe admitted, “and I am used to being unobtrusive rather than not. But I’d rather be lonely than forget who I am.”
“I was only going to alter your body,” said Discord, sounding a touch insulted, “your mind I would leave alone.”
“And if my mind was in a Pony’s body then how long before the instincts of that body changed me? There has been a lot of philosophical debate about how much the body affects the mind and the mind affects the body. I think before too long I’d be a Pony with some strange memories. Perhaps that Pony would be happier, but he’d not be me.”
Discord frowned at Joe. “You are not easy to give a gift to,” he complained.
“But the offers were appreciated, and I do accept that they’d have benefitted me as well as amused you. If likely not as much as they’d have amused you.”
“Bah. And now I had better get back before Celly misses me,” nodded Discord.
“Princess Celestia!” Twilight Sparkle snapped.
“Whatever,” replied Discord, vanishing.
Twilight Sparkle glared at the sofa for a moment before looking at Joe. “And I had better get back before Spike misses me,” she said. “Walk a Pony home?”
“Ah,” said Joe. He’d intended to avoid Ponyville for a few days for a few reasons so this was awkward.
“It’s… okay,” Fluttershy reassured him. “We’ve talked, and it was nice. So go if you want.”
“Thank you,” nodded Joe, managing to give a polite smile despite losing that excuse. “And thank you for the conversation.”
“It was… nice,” Fluttershy said, giving a small smile back.
“Come along then Joe,” said Twilight Sparkle, not giving him a chance to refuse, “we can talk on the way. I have a lot of questions.”
“I am sure you do,” Joe muttered, one of the reasons coming true.
==
Discord appeared and looked around himself in slight surprise. Chaos was his joy so arriving somewhere he’d not expected was a good thing as it meant his teleportation had not been boring and orderly. Like the white Alicorn Mare that was looking at him, her mane and tail flowing with the colours of an aurora and an unamused expression on her face. Discord straightened and gave her a smile.
“Hi Celly!” he greeted her.
“Thou shalt address my sister with respect,” a voice said from behind him, “or thee shall find thy sensitive spots injured by the strikes of hooves or horn or magic. Or all three.”
“Was not that funny a running gag anyway,” Discord muttered before raising his voice and giving a slight bow. “Princess Celestia.” Then he turned to where a shadow had hidden the grey Alicorn whose mane and tail reflected the sky of the night that was her domain. “Princess Luna.”
“You are not as smart you think you are,” Princess Celestia informed him.
“Of course not,” said Discord, turning back to her, “nobody is as smart as I think I am.”
“Though some come closer than thee,” commented Princess Luna, moving out into the light a little.
“Look,” Discord sighed, rolling his eyes and resisting the temptation to literally roll them across the floor, “as fun as this is, and it isn’t, I assume you have some lecture to give me. So let’s get it over with.”
“To my regret I did not detect your magic until you affected the spell and brought Joe here,” frowned Princess Celestia, looking down her muzzle at him, “but you note your efforts after that came to naught. Your magic neutralised each time you had made the effort to gather it.”
“Not as if the effort with Joe came to much,” Discord complained. Then he smiled. “What did you do?”
“Less than thee think,” said Princess Luna, “thy plan needed only meagre effort to disarray.”
“A few words here and there,” Princess Celestia added, “some cautions given to not press Joe too hard for information.”
“And though his form was unusual his dreams were still my domain,” smiled Princess Luna, “so from them I learned much and in them I was able to guide him towards reticence and calm.”
“So your efforts to repair your plan are not welcome,” said Princess Celestia.
“I…” Discord said, sounding surprised, “I… actually think I am honestly insulted. I am not the one that would ‘repair my plan’.”
“Explain thyself,” sniffed Princess Luna.
“I’d noticed your precious Element-Holders were all in a tizzy about something,” Discord replied, looking between them, “and until then I’d nearly forgotten about Joe. But with that reminder I felt I should follow the example Celly…”
“Hooves, Horn, Magic, sensitive parts,” Princess Luna warned. “And we agree thy ‘running gag’ is not amusing.”
“The example our beloved and wise Princess Celestia wanted me to follow,” said Discord, drawing a glare from them both with the sarcasm, “and apologise to Joe just as Fluttershy was apologising to him.”
“That was your sole goal there?” Princess Celestia asked, sounding dubious.
“Apologies, explanations, complaints that he had been boring… with your help apparently,” said Discord, deciding to not mention the offer to make Joe less boring with vast strength.
“And who dost thou accuse of intending to repair thy plan, if not thee?” Princess Luna said.
“Who do you think?” chuckled Discord. “I’d nothing to do with Joe’s adventures, or misadventures, yesterday but I did bring a certain prized student to join the conversation rather than her just hear it from Fluttershy.”
“Or rather than thee making thy apologies where none but Joe would hear it,” Princess Luna pointed out.
“Ooops?” said Discord insincerely.
“Oh Twilight,” Princess Celestia sighed, knowing how she was going to react now she knew there was something to investigate.