//------------------------------// // Arriving to Baltimare // Story: Humans Assemble! // by Mistershield //------------------------------// Chapter 74- Arriving to Baltimare Dear Reader, the final flashback of the Baltimare Arc. The man with the sunglasses took a moment to look out the window to the cabin he shared with the ‘unicorn.’ It still sounded queer to him. Maybe it was because he was in a train, and was not allowed of the cabin. Least, according to Pants. Ponies had a thing about socks. Zeke was still processing everything Fancy Pants had told him. “Are you paying attention, Mr. Dunbar?” “Call me Zeke. Look, if you expect me to be hanging around you, we’re gonna have to be brothers.” “Very well, Zeke. Any questions so far?” Fancy Pants asked, a small smile on his lips. He always wanted a brother that wasn’t some socialite. “Kinda... I mean, its like normal ‘earth’ ponies got the raw deal. Pegasuses-” “Pegasi.” “Fine,” Zeke replied with his eyebrows perked up. “Pegasi fly and control weather. And unicorns like you control magic.” “But they are also much more sturdy than the others. Certainly, none of us ponies believe we are in such biased notions.” ***************************************** “So, there are three types of ponies?” The man with eyeglasses asked, his left eyebrow raised up as his right eye was closed a bit. “Well, technically four- if you want to count alicorns,” Caramel replied. Being in the cheap seats, Sassa and Barry had to join him in a booth. Thankfully, the human was kinda short so he didn’t stand out too much. The whole trip so far was just educating Barry on basic things. “The hell is an alicorn?” Barry asked, his eyes squinted a bit. “Please do not talk like that around here,” Sassa interrupted their traveling partner. “Sorry,” Barry replied with his eyes closed halfway. “But you are asking me to process a lotta info. From relationships, to what kind of foods and music you guys do, and all this other stuff that bore me to death.” “Back to what Caramel was saying,” Sassa shook her head to the sides. They were treating him like a colt, when he was a grown adult. Still, he behaved like a colt. He was new to this land and needed to hear this. “Alicorns are considered royalty, and possess traits of all three ponies.” “I still want to ride a unicorn.” ******************************************* “So, this Celestia is not a god?” Kratos frowned a bit. For a moment there, he was afraid he was going to have to kill her. “What’s a god?” Octavia asked, her right eyebrow raised. “Nevermind. So three types, magic exists, and everything in this land is controlled by equines,” Kratos leaned back in his seat. Amazing, his large frame fit inside one of these ‘booths’ in first class. Still, it was amazing how fast they traveled. “And everything else.” “How society acts and behaves is important to understand. Especially if we are going to marry,” Octavia replied with her eyes closed. “Is such still a damned concern to you? If your...” Kratos scowled, trying to think of a proper word. Every time he tried to talk normally, Octavia would stop him and make him repeat himself in ‘proper’ words. “Friends and family care so much about being proper, then why marry-” “A soldier?” Octavia opened her eyes, turning to look at his face. Her eyebrows furrowed a little. “Yes, my family do have reservations about-” “Humans.” Kratos interrupted, moving his left hand to his face and sigh. “Half-Human.” “Oh...” Octavia lowered her head, her hooves moving to prop herself to sit straight. “Father may care, but we are not racists. Still, interspecies relationships are not uncommon. There are mules, they are half donkey and half pony. Minotaurs-” “Minotaurs?” Kratos opened his eyes, losing the scowl and replacing his look with disgust. “Do they rampage?” “No...” Octavia wasn’t sure if that sounded like a question. After a day of riding with Kratos though, she was more worried about what her family might say. The idea of marrying this human had never even entered her mind. How peculiar... still, Kratos was not bothered by it, according to his home country, it was not unheard of either. *************************************** Red Medic hummed a low tune to himself, looking down at the food selection in the dining car. Red Heart was at his side, a bit nervous. Why had this doctor asked for her heart? Was she that pretty? She got hit on by some patients, yes. But a human? The last day she had been trying to teach him about Equestria, while they also shared medical procedures and theories. Luckily for her, the German spared her much of the gory details. Her head turned to look up at the Medic. He was well groomed, seemed more than sensible and understanding, and to be honest- He did look good in that outfit, even with those rubber gloves. “Fraulein?” “Hmm?” “Red Heart,” Medic once more repeated himself. He blinked once, looking down at her. “I asked, what was good to eat?” “Herr Doktor?” A phrase he asked to refer to him by. Not sure why, but it was common in his home language it seems. “What troubles you, Nurse?” Red Medic turned to give her his full attention. “Your cheeks be red and flushed, and your eyes look...” He lowered his head a bit to move his hand on her chest. “Your heartbeat is irregular, pounding much too fast.” “I’m fine!” Red Heart quickly pulled away, suddenly realizing why she had been staring and blushing. “Please, take care, I want you nice and healthy,” Medic said as he stood up. “I still want your heart.” “Fine! My heart is yours!” Red Heart cried out, her eyes shut as she couldn’t handle it anymore. Everypony turned to look at the outburst, Medic himself also taken back by her confession. And so the train ride went to and fro, human and pony learning from each other. Let’s skip the boring parts. ____________________________________ Photo Finish rode in an open top carriage, being drawn by two earth ponies. Her assistants rode in the rear passenger seats. Photo kept staring at her assistants, wondering how they were able to sit straight on their flanks with their legs hanging over the seat. Most ponies sat down on their flanks, but with their hooves on the ground or seat, or laying down. They sat in the manner she had only seen manticores used. Weirdoes. Luckily, her purple tinted sunglasses hid her gaze from their view. Least Baltimare was a nice city to ride through. “We have the arrangements for the debutant show set for tonight, Photo Finish,” The assistant in the stripes said. Photo nodded, a bit bored by the details. She was all set for the new model she had found, and just in time for the summer line up. As the assistants went down the checklist, Photo turned to look over at the other ponies. While she had managed to find a model, things were getting boring. Not that she wasn’t the best talent agent or finder- far from it- but finding the right pony to groom into the role was getting... Boring. Ponies were ponies, least for her. Once you’ve seen one, you’ve mostly seen all of them. Same body type, while their manes, makeup, and fashion was the only thing that could make them stand out. Even Fluttershy, with her elegant and peaceful demeanor, managed to stand out because of her personality. Maybe it was time to find a new model, maybe a dragon or a griffon? “I must say, can't we talk about this?” She heard a voice speak out from an alley. “Stahp ze carriage!” Photo yelled out. the agent picked herself to hold her left hoof out to the driver. The two stallions pulling them stopped, making them all turn their heads to look back at her. “What is it?” Assistant number 2 asked. “I hear somezing,” Photo jumped off the carriage, not caring how high she was and ran off to the alley. “Look buddy, I dunno where you’re from,” A voice said. “But you don’t gamble unless you got the bits, pal.” Photo came to a stop, peeking her head to look inside the alley. A gray Diamond Dog, a brown minotaur, and two gruff looking ponies were converging on a creature dressed in red. “Now, now, how would I know that my currency was not honored here?” Angelo spoke. His left arm was around his short cape, draping it over his form a bit. “I’m sure we can come to a reasonable agreement? Shall we say, double or nothing?” “Double what? You got no bits!” The Diamond dog snarled. “Other than the ones you took from us!” One of the ponies added. “Look here, do you got anything of value on you besides bits?” The half bull moved his arms to cross on his chest. “Maybe you got something from keeping us from roughing you up.” “Well now, that wasn’t so hard. As matter of-” Angelo stopped talking, lifting his head up to look back at the pony wearing a full, tacky, dress. “What the-” The ponies turned their head to look over at the direction Angelo was looking at. Photo raised both eyebrows, noticing the others were taking note of her. “Friend of yours?” Angelo asked the ponies, right eyebrow raised. “Nope.” Funny, they both replied at the same time.. “Gambling iz illegal,” Photo raised her head, turning it away from the ignorant ponies in disgust. “I zhall call the police if you not stahp.” “Fine,” The Dog scowled, hunching his large frame a bit to look back at Angelo. “But he better pay us back.” “Fine, fine,” Angelo sighed. And he had them just when he wanted too. But he couldn’t risked being thrown in jail. Not yet. He took the bag holding the bits and handed it out to the minotaur. “Next time though, I shall make sure to meet with actual... Bits,” Angelo replied with a smirk. The creatures grumbled a bit, but took the bag and walked off to split the money. A whole day wasted on gambling, and he had nothing to show for it. “Vat are you?” The agent model walked slowly towards the red figure, her purple tinted glasses reflecting the image of the human’s face. Angelo placed both hands on his hips, tilting his head to the side. “So it seems humans aren’t normal here,” Angelo spoke out loud. Damn. He had been hoping he could find other humans. After all, he was used to talking to animals and monsters. The templar knight assumed he was back home, just washed up in another city with beasts. And while taverns and pubs were excellent places for info, savory types didn’t give info unless you had money or beaten them. Both means, eluded him for a moment. Not to mention beasts or humans that gambled and hanged out in pubs were not the brightest either. “Hu-mon?” Photo asked. She walked around this fellow slowly. This fellow was nothing like she had seen! Too much red for her taste, but he had at least style. “And vat are you vearing?” “Human, and I am not wearing a who. This is the uniform of a templar knight.” The knight took a moment to also inspect this... He assumed it was a female pony. All the other creatures did not wear clothes. And sunglasses as well. Maybe only female wore clothes? His face scrunched up a bit. That didn’t make sense. “Come! I zhall make you a stahr.” Photo stopped walking, moving her left hoof down in front of her to lift her head up. “Come again now?” Angelo closed both eyes a bit. For a painting or statue? Certainly he had been asked before, his good looks had charmed a few ladies. But a pony? “Ve zhall make- Ze magiks!” “Well, I do need info and Bits...” _________________________________ “So...” Iron Will moved a curtain to pull back away from the audience he had gathered. “How’s the new guy working out?” “Baa. Ba ba. baba baaa...” The blue goat replied. “Really?” “Baaaa. Bababaaa.” “Wow. Seriously?” Iron Will raised both eyebrows at the news. He had no idea this “Eddie” was that good. In less than a day of travel, the human had gotten info on the routine, the setup, and the effects of the show. Even the budget he had looked at. “Baaa,” Goat Bro Number One replied. (I have no idea what to call him.) “Like a shadow. Iron Will is impressed.” The motivational speaker crossed both arms to grin. Just yesterday, he found this guy on the way to Baltimare. The guy looked odd to Iron Will, but he did like the cut if his jib. A bit too much black, but clearly, this guy was happy and in no need for any motivating. “Okay, Boss, all set for your gig,” Eddie walked up on stage right. The roadie dusted his hands, getting the chalk off his skin. “Pyrotechnics are set, sound quality is tested, and you are looking good.” “Flattery will get you nowhere,” Iron Will smirked. Seriously, this guy was like a machine. Eyes alert and always looking around for any mistakes or something that could be improved. “But I gotta ask...” Eddie raised both eyebrows, his left hand to his long black hair. “Why no opening act?” “Opening act?” Iron Will asked, losing his cool for a second. “Why would a motivational speaker want an opening act? Iron Will is second to no one!” “Whoa now, Boss,” Eddie moved both hands up. “Didn’t mean it like that. I mean, your whole deal is to make ponies and whatnot more aggressive, right?” “Aggressive? No. Just make them come out of their shells. Seriously,” Iron Will turned back to the direction of the crowd, “they‘re living like baby ducks, always needing their mama.” “Well, that’s the thing. Going down the list- I saw no music,” Eddie said with both hands out to him. “Music can affect mood. It has the power to move you if get into the grove. If you got an act or something before you, the crowd can be awake and be ready to get motivated.” “Are you nominating yourself?” Iron Will turned his head slightly to look at Clementine, the guitar on Eddie’s back. “Oh, no no no...” Eddie quickly had both hands up and waved them side to side. “I’m your roadie, this is your show. Besides,” The human moved his hands down to smile. “I’ve only been here like.. What? A day? I have no idea how rock and roll or even metal will affect them... horseys.” He had to stop there, realizing what he said out loud. “But I think you know what music can influence your show, and your words.” “Iron Will guess it would help to get the point across, trying it once may not be bad...” Iron Will mused. Ponies sure did like to sing and dance a lot. Well, from what he’s seen. “One last thing before the show,” Eddie grinned, glad his boss was an ok guy. Monster. Dude. “What’s this about a party?” “Party? Oh right!” Iron Will snapped out of his thinking mode to smile. “Iron Will was invited to a debut party for some model. It’s not Iron Will’s thing, but it’s a chance to promote the show and make some contacts. I got a plus one. Figured you would like to come, see if any of these famous guys knows about humans or a way out if you want.” “Sounds like a plan, Boss Hoss,” Eddie said with a grin. He had a job, a boss that looked out for him, and he possibly had a chance to find a place that liked rock music. Win-win. “And you’re on in a minute.” Iron Will gave a thumbs up and turned to look around the curtain to pump himself up. Eddie walked off stage, doing a final check. Still, Eddie Riggs wondered how metal it would be to ride a unicorn while playing Clementine. ________________________________ “Now arriving, Baltimare!” Kratos picked up his head, having fallen asleep after Octavia rattled on and on. His eyes squeezed shut once, trying to get the drowsiness out of his head. Wait, why was he... The demigod opened his eyes and look down at his chest. No wonder he was warm, Octavia had fallen asleep on his chest. What the hell was he supposed to do? 1. Kick her ass? 2.Yell at her? 3.Or be nice and gentle and- Kratos moved his left hand out, grabbing Octavia by the scruff on her neck. Once she was airborne, he moved himself to stand up from his seat and start walking out of the cabin. “What the?!” Octavia panicked, her legs failing all about as she realized what had woken her up. “Put me down!” Way to go, Brain.exe. “We’re here. To whatever place that’s not Greece,” Kratos responded. “Oh my...” Kratos turned his head to look over at a fat man and a pony with blue mane. “Uh...” Zeke raised his left hand, rubbing his neck a bit. “Should I be doing that?” “Certainly not!” Fancy Pants said, eyes narrowed a bit. “Is that you Octavia? From the Canterlot Orchestra?” “You know them?” Kratos asked, lifting Octavia higher into the air to look at her face. Why was she blushing? The mare raised both of her front hooves up, moving to block her cheeks from view with a nervous smile. “Hello Mr. Fancy Pants,” Octavia said in a low voice. “So, uh... We should get going,” Zeke said, not sure what to make of a sight of a guy just wearing a skirt holding up a pony like a kitten. “You there. I was lead to believe humans do not exist in this realm,” Kratos raised his free hand at Zeke. “Is this your doing?” “Me? Do I look like a Jedi?” Zeke asked, moving both hands to rest on his hips. “Look, I just showed up in this place. While those two were talking, both Reds were walking out of the train cabin to look around the city. It was the first time for them both. The nurse had to smile, she could smell the sea breeze. Medic grinned, just glad to be off the train. “Now then,” Nurse Red turned to look up at her new coltfriend. “I expect you not to be like those other humans. If you do...” She stopped there to narrow her eyes. “Expect to be gelded.” (Gelded- to castrate a male horse, donkey, or other Equine.) “You ever zhink it was the whole gelding process that made them want to destroy ze hospital?” Red Medic replied. Not more than a few hours ago did he realize that this fraulein thought they were a couple. “Well, it’s true Dan only went nuts when I explained it might be necessary for Nathan Drake,” Red Heart mused to herself. While those two were talking, the ponies from coach started to disembark. Barry hummed a low tune to himself, helping Caramel with the luggage. “So, uh... This place that can help me,” Barry said, trying to make an excuse to see the Aviation Society. “When can we go?” “Hm? What’s this about the place?” Sassa asked, lifting her eyebrows at Caramel. “Place? Oh yeah. There’s some scientist friends of mine that can help Mr. Steakfries here. They got a campus by the beach,” Caramel smiled. Least, it was a half lie. “Tell you what. I’ll take the luggage and see you in the hotel. You can drop off Barry, and then we can spend our vacation...” Sassa said, raising her eyebrows up and down suggestively. And the sooner they got rid of Barry, the better. “Barry!” Caramel exclaimed in a determined voice. “To the Beach!” Back with the surgeon, the human looked around for his pet. “Archimedes?” Medic called out. Inside the train, Kratos relented his gaze from Zeke. No, this fellow was no wizard or even a warrior. Still, he was about to open his mouth when he felt something land on his head. Something warm and wet. The white dove cooed a bit, still inside the train. A moment later, white guano came falling down on the bald head of Kratos. “Shit,” Zeke said, lifting his right hand to point at Archimedes. Fancy Pants forced back a cough, his cheeks puffing out as he wanted to laugh. Octavia also kept her hooves up to her mouth, stifling a giggle. The spartan lowered the earth pony for a moment to lift his right hand to touch his head. A moment later, he moved his hand away from his face to look at the white turd and the dove. “Now now, Kratos don’t-” “WARGH!” The spartan cut off the mare with a shout as he turned with rage, trying to find the bird. “Prepare to die,flying rat!” Kratos took out the Blades of Chaos in each hand and chased after the bird outside. Zeke and Fancy turned to look at each other, not sure what to make of things. “Kratos, come back here!” Octavia shouted, giving chase. “Meet us in the party if you can!” Fancy Pants called out. “I suppose it’s time we get off the train as well.” “Half as long, twice as bright,” Zeke muttered under his breath. He walked off, glad that Kratos guy wasn’t giving him the stink eye anymore. “Archimedes?” Medic called out again, looking over at his pet. And the large semi nude man chasing after the dove. The surgeon raised his eyebrows and then begun to run as well, since his pet was flying to him. “Nein! Nein! Nein!” He called out. “Medic?” “Kratos!” Both mares turned to look at each other, blinking once. “Stallions,” They both replied in a dry voice. ___________________________________ Once the pet bird flew off to who knows where and Kratos had calmed down, the group of humans and ponies gathered in town square. Mostly, the humans talked about how they got there, trying to find clues on how this happened. The ponies mostly listen over Nurse’s involvement and her knowledge of the humans inside the hospital. “Well, I guess some questions are answered,” Zeke said, arms crossed on his chest. “What now then?” “We must seek this ‘Celestia’ or ‘Twilight’ and find out how to return,” Kratos spoke, his bald head cleaned so much it was now shiny. “What do we do till then?” Medic asked, glad Kratos was no longer after his neck. Those swords look sharp. “May I suggest we all go back to Ponyville together?” Fancy Pants stepped up to the group. “We can join the party, spend the night, and return tomorrow. I imagine Nurse Red Heart still needs the medical equipment. Honestly, humans destroying a hospital.” The ponies shook their heads, but were glad these humans had no part in it. “I’d rather be gone from this place,” Kratos replied, hoping not to get married. Octavia frowned, but lowered her head and said nothing. Way to put your foot in your mouth, Kratos. “I dunno about you, but I’m not about to go in an overnight train ride again...” Zeke added. “I wanna stretch out my legs.” “Hnn. I’ve no time for celebrations,” Kratos said. “Octavia, let us see your... parents,” Kratos frowned. Still, it sounded better than going to a party with more ponies. Octavia immediately smiled, perking up as she nodded. “Alright then, we shall attend the party. We can gather info, and then meet with the others later. Shall we say, my room? I have a suit in the largest hotel in town. Just ask for my name,” Fancy raised his hoof to his monocle and smiled. For once, he was glad to be so famous and rich. He was finally doing something for the greater good of Equestria, and maybe earn the title of hero. Octavia and Kratos went off to find her parents. Barry and Caramel went to the beach, going to meet with NESA. Once Iron Will and Eddie finished with the gig, they joined the others at the party. Chapter proofreaded by LyonAzakura. Edited by Holy Macintosh Bonus: “Alright! Time for Games Ponies Play!” Shining Armor exclaimed. “The first event! A new event invented after the Crystal Kingdom was saved!” “Are you sure about this, Fluttershy?” Soma asked, left eye closed a bit. “Oh, umm... Only if you don’t want to?” Fluttershy called out, retreating into her mane. “Are you ready for this?” Phoenix called out, grinning. “We are going to win for sure!” Rainbow answered, moving her left hoof out to brohoof. “You’re an alicorn,” Travis said, arms crossed on his chest. “Isn’t this cheating?” “I’m more worried over your upper body strength, my knight,” Luna confessed. “This should be fun,” The Doctor rubbed his hands together. “Surely you’re joking...” Princess Celestia sighed. “Do you think we got a chance at winning?” Sokka asked, right hand to his head and rub. “No idea!” Derpy said, grinning. “Oy, we’d better win!” Number Four moved his hands to roll up the sleeves of his hoodie. “We should’ve just joined the junior game... But it would be nice to see how I stack up against Rainbow Dash!” Scootaloo jumped up and flapped her wings, getting excited. “I love games!” Kuki said, moving to hug her partner. “If you don’t let me go, we’ll never have a chance.” Rumble muttered. “Shouldn’t we be excluded?” Terra asked, turning to look at her partner. “Aren’t you the queen? And shouldn’t Armor do this?” “Oh, it’s just for fun. It is just an exhibition match.” Cadence shut her eyes to smile. “Get ready... Set... Go!” Shining Armor called out. One by one, humans started to grab a pegasi to set them on their back and start throwing them. Thanks to Soma’s strength, Fluttershy went very far. The Doctor, Terra, and Travis struggled, as the alicorns were much taller than normal ponies. Except for the half esper, as her strength wasn’t up to par with males. Only Travis managed to toss Luna a few feet. The Kids Next Door fared no better, well, Kuki at least. Wally managed to pick up Scootaloo with no problems and throw her much farther than Luna managed to go. Rumble remained trapped inside Kuki warm hug. To his credit, Sokka managed to toss Derpy a bit- before she started to go backwards and get negative points. “Objection!” Phoenix shouted out. Everyone turned to look at how Phoenix achieved Turnabout and glowed. His aura surrounded Rainbow Dash as she prepared on his back. “Phoenix, no!” Soma shouted, lifting his left hand out. Too late, as the former lawyer threw Rainbow Dash into the sky. All the ponies and humans in the stands picked up their heads, watching as Rainbow turned into a speck and then vanish from the visible eye.