//------------------------------//
// 04 - Bridle Gossip 
// Story: The Haunted Mansion 
// by lunabrony 
//------------------------------//

	As Applejack exited through yet another door into yet another hallway, she had a disturbing thought. So many of these doors looked the same, and they seemed to be endless. It was impossible to tell how many there were. Had to be hundreds, at least. Most of the rooms were self contained, but many led into equally dark and confusing hallways. The lighting was abysmal, small lanterns with flickering candles were set into the walls every twenty feet or so, the elaborately carved bases of the lanterns draped with long abandoned spiderwebs and dust. Applejack couldn't help but shudder involuntarily. How many candles were there? How did all of them stay lit? Who did the lighting of so many candles? She had to guess it was Not-Discord, who had a way with simply making things happen without explanation. 
The earth pony continued down the long hallway that The Gypsy had directed her towards, reaching a large staircase leading upwards. She hadn't even been off the ground floor yet, and was already lost. This place certainly seemed bigger on the inside than the outside, a fact which had seemed previously reserved for the large blue box that a mysterious resident of Ponyville often frequented. She shrugged it off as simply one of those things, and climbed the staircase. The stairs had a gentle sweeping curve to them, and were carpeted with a faded red fabric. They led up to the second floor, which went without saying. Spike, or the Ghost Host, as this incarnation preferred to be called, was waiting for her at the second floor landing.
"Enjoying your night?" the dragon asked. He seemed particularly amused by her disorientation, as if he had seen it many times before, but it was one of those things that never got old.
"Not really." Applejack replied.
"Pity." Spike said. "But I have good news that might just cheer you up! The haunts here have recieved your sympathetic vibrations and are beginning to materialize! Isn't that exciting?"
"Quit talkin' fancy and explain yerself." All of this voodoo nonsense didn't help things at all, and her head was swimming from all this spiritual technical jargon she was apparently expected to know.
"You went to see The Gypsy, didn't you?" Spike asked. He seemed all the more merry at seeing her frustration.
"Yes."
"And she summoned the spirits."
"Well ah suppose she said somethin' about-"
"So I should expect you'll be seeing many more haunts over the course of the evening, that's what summoning does, you see," Spike concluded.
"Oh, great." Applejack groaned."Jes' what ah needed, more dead ponies."
"Oh, look alive, Applejack!"
"Yer Gatekeeper already used that pun. Wasn't funny then and it isn't funny now. Yer runnin' out of jokes there, Spike."
"I'm not Spike!" The dragon insisted. "But regardless, I must go once more. The spirits are assembling for a wake, and they're expecting me. But if you do see The Gypsy again, would see if she might summon me up a cool mustache? I've always wanted one."
"Yeah, ah'll get right on that." Applejack pushed past him, limping slightly as the passage was narrow, and her left hind leg accidentally phased right through the dragons body. Encased in ice, she found it went completely numb for several minutes, and had to drag it on the floor until the feeling returned. She made her way to the end of the hall, where a huge pair of double doors awaited. Loud music was coming from within, all sorts of instruments which she recognized. Brass, percussion, even an organ.
"Well, here goes nothin'." Applejack sighed, and pushed the doors open.
She was immediately assaulted by party music. It was bland and relatively tasteless, but that didn't seem to matter to the fifty or so spiritual guests swinging, waltzing and swaying to the noise. Applejack had entered an absolutely enormous ballroom which could easily fit five hundred ponies. Hanging from the ceiling were heavy chandeliers of brilliant design, their many smaller lights casting an eerie glow over the entirety of the room. Several long tables had been pushed together in the center of the room and covered with a tattered tablecloth, on which sat bowls and plates of various rotting foods. The flies seemed more interested in this particular accommodation than the guests were. In fact, several couples were swinging right through the table, showing no knowledge that the feast was there at all.
Wandering deeper into the ballroom, Applejack tried to ignore the racket coming from the orchestra section. Her attention was drawn towards one dancing lavender pony near the back, who's limbs were flailing so wildly underneath her dress that she very much appeared to be having a seizure.
"Excuse me," Applejack coughed, and got no response. "Excuse me!" Louder, this time.
The 'dancing' pony looked up. "Oh, hello!"
Used to the facade by now, the earth pony tried a different approach. "What's yer name?"
The unicorn frowned. "I'm sorry, do I know you? Or, DID I know you, rather?"	
"Nah. Y'jes look familiar, that's all."
"Oh, okay. Can I help you?"
Applejack frowned. "Pardon if this is a rude question, but how'd y'die?"
"Oh, that's a bit funny, actually. You'd never guess, but I'm actually a bit of a terrible dancer. I guess I embarrassed so many ponies that they didn't want to be seen with me, so they threw me off the east tower."
"How nice of them," Applejack said sarcastically.
"Yes, well, jokes on them. We're all residing here now, where I can dance as much as I want, and they could only kill me once!" With that, she began dancing again, and Applejack left to weave through the dancing guests. An enormous shot rang out from over her head without warning, and she flung herself to the ground so quickly that she kicked a chair right through a light purple mare, who looked up from trying (unsuccessfully) to drink from a wine bottle.
"Well I never!" The mare said, and stormed off. Disturbed, Applejack at last looked up to try and identify what had sounded like it exploded. A large pair of paintings set about ten feet apart from each other on the wall were quickly found to be the answer. It took her a moment to recognize the source, for at first glance the paintings only held pictures of horses. But upon further inspecting, a pair of spirits emerged forth from them. Unicorns, the both of them, dressed in old fashioned clothes.
"Nice try, brother of mine, but you won't do me in so quickly!" Said one, and fired a shot from his pistol, which flew over his counterpart's head.
"Oh, but don't you see, I've already done you in!" Said the other, and retaliated in turn, although his pistol merely clicked.
"So you have, so you have!" Said the first.
Applejack growled. "S'a good thing y'all are dead already, or ah'd do ya in mahself." She left their company and went to the edge of the room, where a single door awaited. Curious, she began to open it. 
"No, wait!" shouted a voice, presumably one of the guests. "That's where we keep the monster!"
Applejack snorted. "Ain't no such thing as monsters." She opened the door, and was immediately met with the rattling of chains. She yelled in fright, for all she could see lunging at her from the depths of the shadowy room beyond was a sizeable bulk of thick, pink fur. The monster was chained back so as to stay within the room, and stopped short to look over whoever had opened the door. Its eyes moved up, then down, then up again. It gave off an excited gasp, and ran its tongue across Applejack's face. Applejack glared at it. "Hey! Y'all can't jes' lick a pony like that! What do ya got to say fer yourself?"
The pink ball of fur just looked at her, and stuck its tongue out. "Pbbbbbt."
Applejack slammed the door. "Ah thought y'all said there was a monster in there!"
"I did. I never said it was a particularly effective monster."
"Some ponies..." she sighed, and made her leave of the ballroom entirely. Another room down that she had absolutely no intention of going back to. "Okay, so that was a dead end, guess it's back to tryin' doors." She mumbled, and opened the first one on the left. A soft glow lit up from within, and Applejack's eyes widened in terror as haunting music played.
MY LITTLE PONY, MY LITTLE PONY! EVERY DAY IS A DREAM COME TRUE!
MY LITTLE PONY, MY LITTLE PONY! HOW I LOVE TO PLAY WITH YOU!
Applejack slammed the door shut as fast as she could, heart racing, feeling very much like pulling her eyes right out of her face. "Never... again... never... bucking... again..." Her voice cracked. She couldn't even describe how awful the sight was that she'd just seen, nopony should ever have to be exposed to that!
"Gotta get outta here..." She shook herself off, still quite rattled, and instead opted to go back downstairs. Making her way through twisting corridors towards the back of the house. She passed through a long hallway which contained an eerie line of portraits. Normally this would be nothing unusual, for she didn't recognize any of the stallions that occupied each frame. But each different stallion was accompanied by the same mare, a mare in a wedding dress, her head cloaked by a veil. The final portrait by the door contained a stallion she did recognize, one whom she had spoken to only a few hours before. The lost lover. Deciding to get to the bottom of this, she decided to try the door leading outside. The door opened, and Applejack exited into the back portion of the mansion. The chocolate rain had stopped for now, but it was still pitch black. A couple of lanterns barely illuminated a smaller set of iron gates, similar to the ones which she had entered through in the first place. Aside from that, another path branched off to the left. leading towards a covered gazebo, on which a pony in a ruined wedding dress sat silently in the moonlight. A long, candy striped mane fluttered wistfully over the railing.
Applejack approached, and the mare turned. Applejack was dumbstruck.
"Cadence?"
"Constance." The mare corrected. "You must be Applejack. We have much to talk about."
"We do? And how do y'all know my name?"
"Oh, the whole mansion is talking about you."
"Are they now? Y'know bridle gossip really ain't nice."
"From what I hear, you have free rein of the mansion, and may be able to help me." Not-Cadence said gently.
"Yeah, ah'm always willin' t'help, but enough horsin' around," she said. "Jes' goin' out on a limb here, but y'don't by chance happen to be waiting for a stallion to come back from war, are ya?"
The mares eyes glistened with something Applejack couldn't quite identify. Greed, perhaps? No, excitement? Either way, she wasn't sure she liked it. "Yes, yes I am! Have you seen him?!"
"Ah might've encountered him." she said.
"Wonderful, can you take me to him?
"Maybe. Why did y'have so many stallions before this one? What happened to them?"
Not-Cadence frowned, and looked at the ground. Her expression and tone were particularly remorseful. "Unfortunate accidents," she said. "I appear to be the unluckiest mare who had ever lived, for although I was fortunate to find such kind and loving partners, marriage has an unfortunate result of causing ponies to lose their heads. You know how it is."
"Right..." Applejack said suspiciously. "But you don't hafta worry about that now. Yer both dead, so reunite, and that'll be the end of it.: At this, Constance looked rather annoyed. "Regardless, ah think ah can set that up. And then you two kin be together-"
"FOREVERRRRRRR!" exclamed Pinkamena, who'd been hiding behind a tombstone. She pointed at Applejack, then at herself, then drew her hoof across her neck. Applejack shivered, and Pinkamena disappeared into the shadows again.
"Wonderful." Not-Cadence exclaimed, with a fairly unenthusiastic tone. "Now we just need to make our way through the gardens, and I'll take care of the rest."
"Can't ah jes' go back through the-" She turned back to where the door had been a moment ago, and was treated to the sight of a solid brick wall. "...of course. Ah don't even wanna know why or how that happened..." She said, and turned her attention to the other path, the one leading into the dark gardens. The gardens which she had absolutely no desire to go through.
"Looks like we're goin' the long way."