//------------------------------// // Albert Wesker and the Showpony, Part I // Story: My Little Wesker // by Iamdanny0 //------------------------------// Albert Wesker and the Showpony, Part I Author's Note: Yes, I am actually alive. Have been working in a pub recently and the shifts have been fairly hectic. Just managed to squeeze my writing time into my day off. Hope you enjoy this chapter and remember that I'm not necessarily quoting the episodes word for word anymore but doing them from memory so please don't correct me if I get something wrong cos I'm trying not to re-tread the same ground. It may follow a similar direction though, Wesker doesn't screw up the timeline too much. Short chapter, I know but I have a day off on Thursday so I should be able to write part II then. Fingers crossed. Enjoy, you lovely people. Beta'd by Jack Kellar and Jasontaylorblogs "Stupidity combined with arrogance and a huge ego will get you a long way." Chris Lowe It certainly was a bizarre occurrence for Albert Wesker. Never in his entire life had he ever found anything like it, a fact proven by how he had to die twice and travel to another dimension to top it off. All in order to locate it... A being whose ego was even larger than his. He merely stood, dumbfounded, next to an equally aghast Rarity, as this magician rattled off a long list of her positive virtues. Most of which were just prefixes to her name, Trixie. Great and Powerful Trixie, I think you'll find, Al. Only once Hell froze over would he call her that. Still, the idea that this showcase could very well be merely part of the act and after the mare pulled a bunny from a hat, she would then go on to reveal herself as a mildly annoying average citizen, rather than a colossal pain in the hindquarters, provided the former human with some solace. That would really be magic, the magic of acting, a base for the fine art of theater. It seemed more plausible than a pony quite this insufferable actually existing in real life. At least you've accepted this as real now, Al. That's a relief. Of course his brain could never concoct such humiliating scenarios. This had to be real. Wesker switched off his insular wondering and focused once more on the blue unicorn flouncing across the stage in front of him. "Roll up, roll up. Get in line for the most bedazzling, incredible show in all of pony history! Be part of a one in a lifetime phenomenon as the Great and Powerful Trixie shows her fabulous and unprecedented magical skill!" He turned to Rarity, "She certainly can't be accused of lacking showmanship, can she?" Another new arrival cut across the unicorn's reply, earning herself a frosty glare from her. "Sure can't, Al. Shame her attitude stinks so much, ain't really the way to sell yourself to decent folk." "Thank you for interrupting, Applejack," Rarity said before turning back towards Wesker, missing the tongue that the earth pony stuck out at her back. The blonde mare smirked, but turned away when the stallion of the trio caught her eye mid-act. "I agree," the snow white mare continued obliviously, "not to mention she's been doing nothing but talking herself up for what feels like forever. Is there even a show to watch?" Wesker rolled his eyes as the showpony continued reeling in the interested ponies with endless self-aggrandising talk as they strolled across the town centre. "Perhaps this is the show. One hour of magical and stupendous arrogance. Perhaps her cutie mark is the metaphysical embodiment of an unearned sense of self-worth." Three pairs of eyes gazed confusedly at him – Rarity's, Applejack's and Rainbow's, the latter of whom had only arrived in time for the tail end of his rant. Wesker sighed. "I mean she is arrogant and that is bad." There were noises of agreement and faint nods from the three mares in front of him, and it took all of his willpower to not bring his hoof in heavy contact with his forehead. He was spared having to resist the urge by the sudden arrival of Twilight Sparkle, with Spike atop her back. She seemed to have moved rapidly towards the show, as her cheeks were faintly reddened from surmised physical strain. She smiled tiredly when she noticed her friends directly in front of the stage and, manoeuvering her way through the packed crowd, eventually found herself alongside three of her fellow Elements of Harmony and a certain incognito ex-human. "Hey, everypony... has the show started yet?" She was met with a collective sigh and a resounding 'no' from all of the present. Spike scratched his head idly. "Huh. I thought we were gonna be late." Twilight huffed and glared at him as she tried to catch her breath. "What? I'm only a baby, I can't be expected to run all the way!" "No, she hasn't begun yet." Wesker chanced a glance up at the stage, where the showpony finally seemed satisfied with the size of the crowd in front of her, evident by how she dramatically cleared her throat. "Ah, I think she's finally finished with the sales pitch." Trixie then retreated back into her portable set. The blonde sighed in annoyance a second time. "Or perhaps not." "Come one, come all," said a voice belonging to the now-unseen blue unicorn. "Come and witness the amazing magic of the Great and Powerful Trixie!" There was a flash of light, a puff of smoke and in an instant the blue unicorn appeared triumphantly on stage, beaming smugly as a chorus of 'ooooo's rose up in front of her. There was even more showmanship to come, Wesker guessed. "Gaze in awe and wonder as the Great and Powerful Trixie performs feats that have never before been witnessed by pony eyes!" He was right. Resist the urge to scream in frustration, resist the urge to scream in frustration.... He silently repeated this mantra in his head, time and time again. There would be a show soon; everyone in show business needed to inflate their act before they performed it. Resist the urge to scream in frustration. Some fireworks flew from the recesses of her trailer, drawing more gasps of awe from the pin-headed simpletons in the audience. "What boasting…" Wesker and Rarity caught each other's eyes when they realized they both spoke the exact same two words in unison. The impromptu coordination elicited a faint grin from both. Spike muttered something about Twilight and mustaches before sprinting off in the opposite direction. Twilight looked concerned, "There's nothing wrong with being talented is there?" Wesker snorted contemptuously. "Talent and arrogance are two entirely different beasts, dear heart." Applejack nodded vigorously. "She's a show-off and Ponyvillians don't take too kindly to show-offs." A snort escaped her as Trixie made a bouquet of flowers appear via magic, looking all too pleased with herself. "Exactly!" Rarity flipped her mane dramatically to the side. "Being able to do lots of magic does not make one better than the rest of us." Rainbow smirked and raised a hoof as though she were about to make some sort of smug comment, but as she caught Wesker's warning glare, the words died in her throat. "Uhh… Yeah. Magic schmagic." His eyebrow arched skyward. "Uhh… booo!" she pressed on half-heartedly. Unfortunately, this half-hearted attempt at agreeing with the general consensus caught the attention of the performer. "Well, it seems we have some neiiiigh-sayers in the audience!" Lovely pun there. God I love this world Al, it's like one big cartoon. "Do they not know that they are in the presence of the greatest magician in all of Equestria?!" Wesker cast a sidelong glance at his companions, who were all in various phases of either annoyance or stupefaction, and a thought struck him. "Where is Miss Fluttershy?" Most of the other ponies continued to look angrily towards Trixie, except for Rainbow. "She's cleaning up her cottage. She's a little bit of a neat-freak, and having someone she just met stay there for a week unconscious has kinda thrown her a bit." Wesker frowned. "Not that it's your fault." His expression didn't change. "No. It's yours." Rainbow rolled her eyes, right as Rarity finally spoke up, "Just who does she think she is?" Spike, who had snuck back into the group mere moments ago, began to say something before being ushered away by Twilight, who spoke to him away from the crowd in hushed tones. "Do you think that Twilight is bothered by this Trixie character?" Rarity, Applejack and Rainbow Dash looked over at Wesker, but were unable to reply, interrupted by another cacophony of fireworks erupting into the air. It seemed that, for Rainbow Dash at least, it was the last straw of her patience; she flew up onto the stage to confront the arrogant unicorn. "What makes you think you're so great anyway?" The showmare scoffed. "It's very simple: only the Great and Powerful Trixie has magic enough to defeat the dreaded URSA MAJOR!" A series of extra fireworks shot up into the sky and produced a crude outline of a bear that, apparently, was meant to look ferocious. "When all hope was lost, the ponies of Hoofington had no one else to turn to." She flourished her head dramatically and a tiny outline of a blue pony on a broomstick appeared in the sky next to the bear. "The Great and Powerful Trixie vanquished the dreaded Ursa Major with her awesome magic and sent it back to its cave deep within the Everfree Forest!" The firework representing Trixie shot out purple lines, and the giant bear vanished with a sudden shot of sparks. Most present gasped in shock and awe, loudly praising the magical abilities of the pony before them, including two foals to the left of Wesker and his companions. The former human's composure slipped. Majorly. "WHAT?" Everyone present stopped their acts of talking or applauding in favor of staring at the furious blond stallion wearing mirrored shades. "Are you fucking kidding me? It's a picture of a bear written in magical fireworks! That doesn't prove that she defeated anything! I could draw a picture of me relieving myself on a manticore's head and that wouldn't be any evidence that I've done anything close to it! "What is wrong with all of you?! Are you really such small-minded simpletons that you take absolutely everything you hear on face value?!" Still seething, the man sharply pushed his glasses back to the bridge of his nose. "Perhaps, if all of you could think for five seconds, you might realise that this is just smoke and mirrors! If she was truly so powerful, then why would she be in a goddamn trailer performing a rickety one-pony razzle-dazzle show?!" His entire audience, which included the so-called Great and Powerful Trixie, stared blankly at the livid earth pony. Wesker felt a vein pulsing angrily at the side of his head, drumming unchallenged in the dead silence of Ponyville. The uncomfortable stillness hung as heavily as a cloud over the group of ponies until Albert Wesker caught himself and realised the extent of the scene he had just caused. "Erm… I mean, wow. Golly gosh, that really takes my breath away," he uttered with little enthusiasm. To her credit, Trixie recovered from the dumb shock before anyone eles. "Th… That's right. Trixie certainly is the best in all of Ponyville. Anypony care to prove me wrong?" Wesker sighed in relief as his rant was mercifully pushed out of mind by the challenge, which his acquaintances bristled at in turn. Still, he had the feeling it was going to be one of those days.