//------------------------------// // Hard Landing // Story: Dimension Jumper // by redtau //------------------------------// There is a saying amongst dimensional travelers; the first experience in a new dimension usually defines one's experience in the dimension. Others have told me of stepping out on views of majestic waterfalls or dual moon rises. James said he once stepped out and was hip deep in dung, and how everything had gone downhill from there. I awoke to being thrown free of my exploding conversion pod and into a raging forest fire, so this was certain to be a wonderful time. What the hell? Get up. I lay on the grass, my eyes stinging from smoke. GET UP When you sign up to go dimension hopping, the ARCO Company doesn't just throw you naked into the void. Every adventurer is outfitted with a pair of very helpful companions. The first was a spirit, ARCO techs don't like to use the word “Demon”. Truth be told, the spirits don't like that word either, but they do get a little too excited over the word “soul”. Mine, a crass spirit called 'D', was currently taking temporary control of my body. It rolled me over, lifting me up. The explosion had disoriented and dazed me. The moon shone overhead, wreathed in fire and smoke. WAKE UP SARAH! I am NOT dragging your ass out of here on autopilot. I was confused, but some part of me started to respond to the conditions around me. I snatched up a standard issue backpack (still in one piece, thank God) and began to grab stuff with my right hand. It took only two failed attempts to realize I no longer had my right hand. In fact my entire right arm was gone; the cybernetic component that comprised it was missing. With it was my second companion. As I found new things to panic over, my left hand was busy grabbing anything nearby and stuffing it into the backpack. Now run! What could I do? I ran, swinging the backpack on to my back and charging through the woods. My eyes adjusted to the thin moonlight and starlight that trickled through the leaves as I ran. Off to my right I caught a blur of motion, brown fur, claws and teeth. Damn, things on this world are big. I ran on, vaulting fallen logs and small streams, dodging under low branches, forcing my way through thick shrubs and patches of bright blue flowers. I ran until I was gasping for breath, until my legs burned and my vision was starting to blur. My exhaustion finally caught up with me, and I collapsed at the base of a tree to rest. As I looked around, it struck me just how far I had run. The forest had given way to sparser woods, and I found myself on the outskirts of a farm, the large red barn visible in the distance in the moonlight. I spotted a pond nearby and limped over to it, my muscles cramping and burning after the long run. Once next to it, I glared into its depths. In the moonlight the pond looked clear, but it could have been bright green or deep purple for all I knew. I swung the backpack down and began pawing through it for its contents. A utility knife, about 50 ft. of rope, three or four small pieces of the burned conversion pod, a cleansing canteen, and finally my cybernetic arm containting my AI "Machina". The arm was currently in travel mode, a cylinder about 4 inches across and two feet long. I pushed the activation button and nothing happened. Either it wasn't charged, it isn't functioning in this dimension, or Machina knows what happened to the conversion pod and is afraid of blowing up. I sighed and picked up the cleansing canteen. It was designed to clear any chemical or biological impurities out of any drink put into it. A dunk in the pond filled it, I capped it and- DON'T PUSH THAT! “What?” I had almost dropped the canteen. Everything else has EXPLODED! At least poke it with a stick or something! “Ah, right.” I placed the canteen carefully on the ground, found a long branch and poked the ON button from a distance. Nothing happened. I counted slowly to thirty. “Happy?” Very. I picked up the canteen, opened the cap and threw back a mouth full. Which I then quickly spit out. The canteen had dumped all of its various cleansing products at once, making a chemical stew that was almost poisonous. I need to wash this stuff out of my mouth Guess I'm getting pond water straight from the source. A few mouth-fulls of surprisingly clean water did well to restore my health and vigor, and wash the taste from my mouth. Maybe things weren't as bad as they seemed. I walked to a nearby fruit tree, (is that an apple?) and clambered up into the higher branches to sleep. A ripe whatever it was hung temptingly near my head, but I was determined not to eat anything until I could see it in the sunlight. Wrapping the rope around myself so I wouldn't fall in the night, I drifted off to sleep. *Thock* *Thock* I woke, bleary eyed, to the sound of someone chopping wood. I gazed down through the branches and was surprised to see an orange horse, with a pair of large baskets fastened to it like saddlebags. It was harvesting the apples by bucking the tree and shaking down all the lose ones. As I watched, it walked over to one of the fallen apples and picked it up with its hoof, tossing it back into the basket. How the hell does that work? The bone structure alone is impressive, but how is it picking things up without fingers or anything? A soft buzzing sound floated to my ears, and I turned my attention upwards. There, lying on a branch just beyond the leaves was another small horse. This one was powder blue and looked like it had wings. It appeared to be napping, and must have just missed me in the branches. Seen closer, it was a smaller than a normal horse, more like a pony. “Glindor?!” The pony below had just made some kind of noise. “Glindor del nep gone dala!” “What is it doing?” I whispered I think its talking to the blue one. Ponies.... Talking ponies.... Talking Technicolor ponies.... “What was in that water?” I think this is the dominant species here. “Then I'm going to need a translator, and a disguise.” I hissed as quietly as possible. That is going to cost you; I'm running on very limited energy right now. “What do you want?” A finger, your pinkie at least. “Fine, take it, but make it quick.” I bit my sleeve to keep quiet as my pinkie finger dissolved. The spirit could use pieces of flesh, blood and bone to power its abilities like shape shifting and translation. It hurt though, like whatever piece it took was eaten off with boiling electrified acid. A soft whimper escaped my lips as the powers began to take hold. “Five more minutes.” The blue pony muttered, rolling onto its side away from the orange one. “Rainbow Dash, if ya'll don git down from thar Ah'll buck you down.” “Illusion.” I hissed as I pulled awkwardly at the rope binding me to the tree, trying to quietly and quickly free myself. “Shape shift. Something! I need a disguise.” My form began to flow, and I felt my clothing shift with me as I became more pony like. I struggled to wrap the rope up with a hand that was becoming more and more hoof by the second. “You wouldn’t really buck me down, would you Applejack?” “Wouldn't Ah?” I realized, at the last minute the error in untying myself from the tree. *Thock* The upper branches shook violently. “Woah!” The blue pegasus spread it's wings and took off. I, on the other hand, found myself treading air. “AAAAAH!” I crashed to the mercifully soft grass below, then sat up and rubbed the back of my head. “What the- miss, are you OK?” Applejack called. “Whoa...” “What? I'm alright, just a little-” I stared at my hoof and blinked a few times “plaid...” I knew ponies could be blue and orange, but plaid? Not just a simple shades of red checker style, but that eye searing red and green crisscross. “Why am I plaid?” It’s not me, I can't change it! “That’s an extreme makeover” the blue one (Rainbow Dash?) was standing just a few feet away. “You alright miss?” “Whah were ya in mah tree? An wuah are y'all... plaid?” “I'm not sure. Last thing I remember was running through the forest.” I point off to the thick woods. Even during the day they look foreboding. “Oh,” Applejack nodded, “did you touch any bright blue flowers while ya’ll were out there?” “Yeah, I ran through a small patch.” “Oh man, you got pranked good.” Rainbow Dash was on the ground rolling with laughter. “What?” “That stuff is poison joke.” Rainbow said between giggles. “It 'plays a joke' on any pony that touches it.” Applejack explained, a serious expression on her face. “It made me the size of a mouse, and caused Rainbow here to crash constantly.” She smirked, “Though it was hard to tell.” “Hey, I'll have you know I am Ponyville's top aerial acrobat and fastest flier! I even won the best young flier competition in Cloudsdale!” “Um, so this 'joke' isn't permanent then? It'll wear off?” I was desperate not to stick out like a sore thumb. “Ya gotta wash it off with an 'erbal bath. Ah think Aloe and Lotus down at the spa can fix ya up.” “Then let’s go!” I sprang to my feet and fell over sideways. My right arm, now my right foreleg, was still missing. “WHERE IS YOUR LEG?!?!” Rainbow cried out. “Oh, uh heh. I lost it.” “Whar did ya have it last?” Applejack was obviously still coming to terms with the idea, her face a slight mask of shock. “I didn't misplace it, it's gone. I'm an adventurer, and sometimes my adventures can be pretty dangerous.” “An adventurer? Like Daring Doo?” Rainbow seemed star struck. “AJ, did I ever tell you about Daring Doo and the Sapphire Stone? She has to escape from a pit trap with closing spikes and snakes and quicksand and spiders and-” “Rainbow...” Apple Jack tried to bring her back to the present with a wave of her hoof. “Yeah, traps like that can be really dangerous." I said, swaying a bit so the empty jacket sleeve was more evident. "Sometimes even when you escape, you don't make it out unscathed.” “Oh...” “I had a false limb, but it’s busted right now. I'll have to get it fixed later.” I shuffled, looking myself over. My pants, jacket and even shoes managed to hide most of me, but my hoof and head were very obviously plaid. “First though, I want to wash this ridiculous color off. How far is the spa?” “It’s on the other side of town.” Rainbow lamented. “It’s gonna take FOREVER for you to limp there.” Applejack frowned at her lack of tact, “Ah would pull ya in the cart, but mah brother Big Mac took it inta town. The only other cart we have has a busted axle.” Both ponies sat and thought for a bit, while I practiced hobbling around. Three legs was difficult, but I was able to get a decent trot. Strangely it was easier to run then to walk, but nearly impossible to turn at any speed without falling over. “The crusaders have a wagon we could borrow.” Rainbow suggested. “The crusaders?” “Mah sister an her friends. They haven't got their cutie marks yet, so they go 'crusading' for 'em by trying all sorts a activities.” “Scootaloo's a big fan of mine; she would probably volunteer to pull ya. Come on, um..” “Sarah.” That got a couple of raised eyebrows. I guess Sarah either doesn't translate well or is unusual for a pony name. “Well, c'mon Sarah,” Applejack waved, “The clubhouse ain't far from here.” So I limped the few hundred yards through ripening apple orchards to a small tree house at the edge of the farm. Outside was a trio of smaller ponies, fillies I guessed, working on some kind of catapult. One was orange with purple hair and a pair of small wings, another was yellow with bright red hair, and the last was white with purple hair and a small horn. I just realized I can't see my hair with it this short without a mirror. I sat down and brushed a hoof through it, hoping to pull some into peripheral vision. “I wonder what color it is." I muttered to myself. "I hope it’s not plaid.” I hope its bright pink. “I hope this bath involves holy water” I hissed. “Hm?” Rainbow looked over at me. “Nothing.” D just chuckled inside my head while Applejack called the little ones together. “All right now ya'll, this here is Sarah. She's run afoul of some poison joke an needs ta get down ta the spa.” Applejack turned to me. “Sarah, this here is mah sister Apple Bloom.” “Hi” The yellow pony grinned up at me. “You really got it bad didn't cha?” She poked my empty sleve. "Whut happend to your leg?" "Don't be rude." Applejack chided her sister. “She lost it adventuring.” said Rainbow Dash. She waved her hoof at the orange pegasus who was strapping knee pads and a helmet on. “And this is Scootaloo, my number one fan." The little pegasus smiled at that. "And Sweetie Bell is...” My world went suddenly dark as a soft blanket dropped over me. “Sorry,” I pulled the blanket to look at the tiny white filly apologizing to me. “I thought that if we were going to pull you to the spa, you might not want to be seen. I didn't mean to drop it on you like that, it just slipped.” I smiled at her, thankful for her thoughtfulness. Sorry, I think I did that. She was lifting it with magic and I still need energy, so I sucked it up before I realized it. “That's alright, just be more careful next time, OK?” Sweetie thought I was talking to her. She smiled up at me, and helped me into the wagon. Sweetie and Apple Bloom climbed in and made sure I was comfortable and the blanket wouldn't fly away. “All right, let’s do this!” Scootaloo had her scooter connected to the wagon, and I saw her wings start to blur with motion. “CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS: TAXI SERVICE!” she screamed out before taking off. I had no idea something so small could pull so fast. The hills and uneven dirt path into town became a roller coaster ride of ups and downs, twists and turns. She didn't even slow down as the town approached, skillfully dodging carts, ponies, houses, trees and anything else. “Please, please, please, PLEASE SLOW DOWN!” I begged our little orange driver as startled ponies called out in the wake of her near misses. Apple Bloom and Sweetie Bell took turns yelling apologies to those we clipped. Wheeeee! “You are NOT helping” I hissed.