//------------------------------// // Chapter 10 : Bump on the Noggin' // Story: A Twilight Landing // by MerlosTheMad //------------------------------// Twilight began to feel the world around herself again; wherever she was it was cold. "Oogh," she groaned, trying to massage her forehead. Trying to get a handle of just what was going on, or even just look around was proving to be difficult. The room Twilight was in was entirely dark, she realized. So there was nothing to actually see. Where did the lights go? Her memories returned in the thought's wake. Wait, just moments ago I was in the basement of my human friend, Jo. It had been well lit from the stairwell light and by the glow of purple crystals... She considered that the light they had both given should have at least been present, if that's where she still was. Twilight began to try and stand up. "Hello? Jo? ...Alice?" she called out. Nopony answered her, and she stopped rising, confused by a strange, but familiar sensation. I don't believe it. She tapped her hand on the ground to be sure, and a solid thunk answered her. I don't believe it! A squee escaped through her ecstatic grin as she pressed her hooves against her face happily. "Yes! Yes yes yes yes YES!" Twilight began hopping around joyously, despite the lack of any manner of light in the basement. "Jo, I have my hooves back, I'm a unicorn again! I'm a unicorn agaaaain!" One of her dearly missed limbs felt around her forehead just in case, confirming that it was true. Twilight stopped her erratic bouncing when she felt something soft squish beneath her hopping, and heard an oof of displeasure followed afterward. "What the, augh, what happened? My head's killing me." Jo's voice entered the still air to join Twilight's. "Twilight, is that you? Where'd the light go?" Twilight did her best to suppress her giddy laughter and answered her hostess. "Well, I'm not sure, but you'll NEVER guess what has happened!" She let out another series of giggles, then triumphantly lit up her horn with success, incredibly eager to once again use her magic. "I BECAME A UNICOOoo- oh my Celestia." "What?" Jo blinked and stared up from the floor at Twilight. "Oh my God, Twilight you really are a unicorn!? I mean, of course, you really are a unicorn... again." She smiled widely and pulled herself up off the ground. "Gah, was that you that jumped on my stomach? That hu- hurrrr... hur-" Twilight and Jo's eyes were all glued to Jo herself, and the state she was currently in. "Jo, don't panic, I'm sure there's a way we can-" Twilight was interrupted by an ear piercing scream and both of her hooves pulled down on her ears to protect them. Jo herself had Twilight by the throat with her own newly acquired hooves immediately. "TWILIGHT!? What did you do!? Twilight? Twilight?" The frantic pony's eyes were stuck in a glare at the purple unicorn in her grip. Twilight tried desperately to answer Jo while being shaken back and forth, but for some reason she was powerless to stop the new human turned pony. "I'm sorry! I don't know! Please stop!" It seemed as if all she could do was wait for the violent shaking to end, in fact, her head began to hurt from the ferocity of it all. Her eyes spun while trying to get a handle on things and attempting to break her friend's grip. The feeling that she were floating began to settle in, and all the while Jo just kept crying her name. "Twilight. Twilight. Twilight? Hey, Twilight, oh for Christ's sake please wake up, are you alright?" Groaning, Twilight tried to open her eyes and numbly began moving her stiff feeling limbs. "Eh- wha?" Finally, her eyes opened, and a pair of humans stared back at her. "Oh thank God, you're alright. How many fingers am I holding up?" Jo waited, then cursed and pulled Twilight up by her sweater and hugged the estranged girl fiercely. "Never mind, I am so, so sorry, are you alright?" Twilight groaned again and nodded reflexively. "Y-Yeah, I'm okay, ow- I think. Oh Celestia, does my head hurt..." The top of her brow seemed to be stricken with the most pain she had felt... ever. The splitting sensation was horrendous, and after touching the source of the pain it somehow burst further to life in new and exciting ways. She let out a squeak of pain and felt tears well up in her eyes immediately. "What happened? Ow, owow... ow," she chanted, not sure how to deal with what she felt, even with the friendly embrace holding her. She just hugged back with one arm while being helped up. Alice answered her first, Jo still in the middle of frantically apologizing. "Jo smacked you in the head with the crystal on accident before I could stop her!" the short blonde blurted out; her voice was only a little less panicked than Jo's. She grinned back at Jo's glare, then frowned herself. "Well you did. It was an accident, Twilight, she was making to hit me with it and you got in the line of fire." Twilight remembered now, these girls were worse than Applejack and Rainbow Dash when they were going at it... Well, maybe not that bad. "Why would you try to hurt each other like that?" "I wasn't going to hit her with it for real... hard." Jo looked at the wall whilst speaking. "More importantly I didn't realize how sharp these things were, lets get upstairs, Twilight, you're bleeding." She wrapped her arm around Twilight's and began leading the purple haired girl back upstairs. Meanwhile, Alice cackled behind them in a sudden fit of laughter. "I can't believe it, so these things aren't just super state of the art movie props, she's real? Like for real and magic's real and-" "YES! Alice, please, I wanted your help, not more weirdness." Jo traded an uneasy look with a confused one from Twilight. "I probably should have asked you first, about her, but I was just... kind of wanting some help after last night Twi', sorry." Twilight smiled back at her, catching onto Jo wanting to help so much. "I trust you Jo, you know waaay more about everything around here than I do, after all." The awkward human girl gestured around herself and looked around the living room for effect. "I don't mind your friends knowing." She recalled Jo's warning about humans and what they might do after finding out about her, even the friendly ones. That was all different though surely, this was a friend of Jo's. "Well you aren't bleeding after all, that's good, but I gave you a nasty bump. I'm so sorry about that Twilight." Jo frowned up at the top of Twilight's head, a lump growing visibly there. Twilight smiled widely back, doing the best she could to ignore the otherworldly pain. "Oh it's nothi- Okay it hurts a lot, but it'll be better in a couple of hours." "Days, maybe." Jo had made it to the bathroom with Twilight, and handed her a cool, wet rag. "Here, I'll go get an ice pack too to help with the swelling." "I got it!" Alice chirped and sped away. "We need to watch the TV show pronto, by the way!" She called back over her shoulder. Jo rolled her eyes, she would have to fill her friend in on everything now she supposed, including that they had already seen season one. I hope this wasn't a mistake, she thought dismally. "Days? Swelling?" Twilight furrowed her brow and gave Jo a serious look. "Is it really that bad?" She turned and looked into the bathroom mirror, a gasp escaping her lips while she stared at herself. Her face may have been a part of that, she was still getting used to looking so... weird. More than that though, there was a bright red lump at the corner of her forehead, a rough line running over the top of it where she had obviously been struck by something. "Wow, how did you- were you really going to hit Alice that hard as a joke?" Her hand traveled up to the impressive lump, big enough to rival the worst of anything see had seen anypony else get. Literally, a tree had fallen on Applejack once and had left a mark just as bad. "Well, it was kind of heavy. I'm sorry, Twilight. I wasn't really going to hit her, I just kind of cocked it back and then... it bonked you, instead. I'm so stupid, darnit." Jo frowned sadly and scrubbed a hand over her short hair, turning around in circles worriedly. "I dunno, does it really hurt bad? Here I'll get some pain killers-" She paused when Twilight put a comforting hand on her arm. "It's alright, I've had a thought though, Jo, so calm down for a second." Twilight coughed and waited until her new friend gave her full attention. "Are humans really fragile? Because this," she pointed up at her noggin'. "Is way worse than anything I've gotten from a ding to the head. I think the last time I got something like this was... oh... perhaps fighting changelings or diamond dogs. This is what you get after..." She shook her head to knock the memories loose, then regretted it when her scalp yelled at her. "I dunno, mis-teleporting into a cliff, maybe?" Her face scrunched up suddenly, trying her best to seem inconspicuous after using that as an example. Jo thought over an answer for what was asked of her. "Fragile?" she asked, unsure of how to interpret that. "I guess, compared to some other animals on Earth we kinda are, maybe. I'm not really an expert on the matter." "Oh," Twilight intoned quietly, already thinking of ways she could test her theories. Alice made her approach with her quest item then. "Here yah go!" she called cheerfully, holding out the ice pack to Twilight. Immediately afterwards she leaned up close to Jo's face, grinning madly. "Ok so..." Her eager grin glanced at Twilight, then a finger pointed at the other girl. "So she really is the real-?" Both Twilight and Jo quickly answered her with a loud, "Yes!" The room was quiet for a moment, a wounded looking Alice now giving them both puppy dog eyes. "Oh no," Twilight held a hand up to her mouth in the wake of Alice's very blatant hurt. "I didn't mean to hurt your feelings, uhm, Alice. It's just-" "Uggh, don't buy into her act Twilight." Jo swatted a hand at Alice, who giggled and stepped away. "This girl likes to toy with people and be as un-serious as possible." She glared over at Alice, wishing that someone else had messaged her last night and happened to be invited over in lapse of judgement. There really wasn't anyone else though, maybe Dale, she considered, but she hadn't spoken with him in an even longer time. Alice aawed at Jo. "And you're so fun to mess with, Jo. I missed it dearly. Why'd you have to spoil this for me, I had the Twilight Sparkle going." The room went silent in the wake of a sudden, thunderous rumbling. Everyone present turned to look at Twilight, who laughed nervously. "Sorry," she laughed out, "I am a little hungry... could we eat something?" "Oh my gosh! You're a pony, so you don't eat meat. Did you know we eat meat? I need to- Oh wow-" Alice was cut off by Jo clapping a hand over her mouth. "Yeah, about that," Jo started. "Turn down the excitement factor by about ninety, would you?" At her friends nod she let go. "I'll make something, Alice, stay here and don't do anything weird, I mean it." If fake halos could materialize in real life, she imagined one would be floating above Alice's head, judging by the look she was getting from the other girl. Then again, fake cartoon characters can materialize, so why not? She glanced at Twilight again, who was giving Alice a wary look, then sighed. "Alright then, Twilight, bring crazy here up to speed, yell if she tries to molest you or something." Jo turned to go, but stopped when a hand grabbed her shoulder. She looked back at Twilight, blinking. "Hm?" "Oh sorry, uhm," Twilight looked back at Alice, who was doing a poor job of hiding her excitement, practically hopping in place in the dining room. "I just wanted to ask really quick, what exactly is, 'molest'?" She wore an honest, blank look on her face while she asked her question. "So that's all you've done in the last four days she's been here on Earth!?" Alice's mouth hung completely agape while she stared at both Twilight and Jo. Jo put on a dark look over the kindly one she had worn whilst telling her side of the story. Before that, Twilight had been speaking to Alice, although it had been more of Alice asking every kind of question from 'What's Princess Celestia like?' to 'Do you have a cutie mark still?' After Twilight had been put through the wringer, Jo had brought out some very odd sandwiches and more vegetable soup. Being a loner, she wasn't much of a cook, and less of a vegetarian, but she made do. Then again, Twilight didn't seem to care much for the cucumber and tomato sandwiches either. "Well, I think we should take things slow, for her sake." Jo stared at Alice and gave her the 'look', hoping that her friend would catch her drift about certain differences between the two worlds. She eased her glare and faced towards Twilight. "Besides, there's not much we can do, really-" Alice tossed her hands up in the air and gave Jo a look like she was crazy. "Are you kidding?" She passed her manic look between both of the other women, then sighed and slapped a hand to her forehead. "Okay okay, breaking things down here-" She stopped to clear her throat, then continued. "Going by what Twilight told me so far, her world is soooo weird and different. Not that that's a bad thing!" Her eyes widened to almost cartoonish levels as she stared at Twilight a moment, driving that point home. Twilight reflexively began nodding and grinning in a convincing fashion. Alice went on. "And I mean like Wonderland levels of weird. So, why not show Twilight everything there is to know about our world? If she's as smart as I already know she is-" The blonde woman let out an impressed laugh. "Then along the way she's bound to think of something. Plus, Celestia could always help her get back too, why stay cooped up here with the grumpiest girl alive?" She folded her arms smartly and raised an eyebrow at Jo, as if to say checkmate. Twilight began poking two fingers together absently and beat Jo to speaking. "Please don't fight, girls." She looked up at Alice, not wanting to directly call her out on teasing her friend so much, but also wanting them all to work together in harmony. "I'm sure I'll have plenty of time for all of that, Alice. I have also been sick though, and I barely know how to even walk." She sighed, then laid back against the couch. "According to Jo, I even need to go out and get my own wardrobe for here, too. You humans sure do love your clothing and costumes..." The situation that had been broiling seemed sufficiently derailed to Twilight, so she let the other girls speak after leaving a pause. "It's like Twilight said," Jo held up a hand in a pointed manner. "There's a lot to consider, we can't just take her to a theme park and vacationing to show her our world..." The words came out but slowed at the end, having thought of other things she wanted to talk to Alice about. "Anyway there's no rush, I think." She looked over at Twilight to confirm that sentence was true. When the other girl shrugged, Jo nodded and went on. "She's stranded here, and magic is probably not an option either-" "Oh my god, don't say that," Alice interrupting, piping in loudly. Twilight and Jo looked at Alice, each wearing a different type of confused face. Confused hopeful, and confused confused, respectively. "Magic could so be everywhere on Earth and we just don't know it!" Alice smiled at Twilight and gave Jo a confident version of the same thing, as if wisely pointing out what had been overlooked. "There are all kinds of unexplainable paranormal on-goings and occult craziness on Earth! Why, we have so many legends and strange rumors, some of it has to be real-" Jo butt in, shaking her head furiously. "Alice," she glanced over at Twilight; the younger girl wore a mixed look of skepticism and thoughtfulness. "That isn't real though, none of it is. Our entire world is full of that crap because we have over active imaginations! Twilight," she turned to the magical unicorn girl, hoping to pull some common sense and normalcy into the conversation. "You had legends and things back in Equestria, right? Superstition? Things that weren't actually real, but everyone er- everypony might have thought they were?" "Liiike... seven years of bad luck if you walk under a ladder?" Twilight craned her head down towards her plate without looking away from Jo, and took up her sandwich in her mouth. "Oh my great golly god damned gumdrops that is so freaking adorable." Jo and Twilight looked over at Alice's interruption, the other girl looked as though she'd reached nirvana staring at Twilight trying to eat her sandwich. Twilight straightened up and nabbed the sandwich in a more human fashion, using her hands this time. "Sorry, ahem, old habit... I tried using my magic before doing that and well..." Alice let out a crazed, happy laugh, then changed gears just as fast and cooed out her next words to Twilight. "Oooh, if only you were still a pony." She put on the saddest, yet still somehow happy look that a human face could probably manage while she spoke. "I bet you guys are so freaking cute in person. I would pet you all day if you let me, gah." Jo buried her face in her hands, muttering, while Twilight's eyes widened and she looked between the two girls in an attempt to figure out what had happened to the conversation. She picked up her sandwich's plate and set the thing that had started the situation off to the side, then tried to look inconspicuous. "Alice, get a grip, you don't know anything about them, even after talking to Twi' for twenty minutes. Petting could be culturally offensive for all you know. Whatever it is, I doubt it's normal." Jo gave the other girl a level look. Alice let out a disappointed sigh, then rolled her eyes in return. "Yeah, I guess. I'm sorry, Twilight. I'm overly excitable and being rude right now." Twilight smirked and raised an eyebrow, mildly amused by the cultural oddities that were cropping up. "It's quite alright, more than alright, really. I'm too fascinated by meeting another culture from a different world to be the least bit upset, and I'm well aware of the social differences that might make for awkward encounters between us." She put on a smart look and reclined in her chair, preparing to launch into a little lesson on general culture mingling. "I've only traveled a little myself, and most ponies don't at all, but I've read plenty about it! The best thing you can do when traveling abroad, or learning first hoof about others, is to keep an open mind." Twilight looked from Jo's dreary look to Alice's wide eyed expression; the second of the human girls was nodding as though she were jumping up and down. "Anyway," Jo interjected back into the conversation with a begrudging smile at Alice. "Like I was trying to say, and told Twilight already, there are rumors about magic all over Earth." She turned to give the purple haired girl a serious look. "Everywhere, there are literally millions, and none of them have ever appeared in the public eye as completely factual. And I'm not even including the ones that are just really amazing feats of nature or tricks, either. I'm talking about the full blown conjuring elephants out of thin air kind of magic." Twilight oooed. "Now that would be an impressive spell alright..." She hummed and began thinking about just how she would summon an elephant in such a fashion... A snapping noise brought her out of it. "Focus, Twilight." Jo stared at her and sat back in her chair. "Well, I guess, maybe," Alice admitted to Jo, crossing her arms and pouting. "But we should look into it a little, after what you just showed me in your basement, it's obviously real, so it could exist." Jo rubbed a hand down her face and stared at the ground. "Yeah, true, but still, we shouldn't go chasing after every little thing or get our hopes up. Well, alright, that's enough about that. Our game plan is this: Get Twilight situated and healthy again, stop beating her up, and maybe we can figure something out or get monstrously lucky. From what she told me the other day, she landed herself here on accident with a potion. So, all we need to do is wait for Celestia or somebody-" "Somepony!" Alice butted in, raising a finger up to the sky and wearing a dead serious look. "...Somebody," Jo went on, "else in Equestria to recreate the thing, then maybe they can rescue her." She leaned back, clapped her hands together pointedly and folded them in her lap with a satisfied look on her face. "Yeah, well, that's fine and all, but we do have to do something until then, so let's talk about that. Twilight is needed back in Equestria, like bad, after all." Alice turned to Twilight, "You are actually an Element of Harmony, right Twilight? The show was correct about that with you?" Alice wasn't entirely certain about a few things still, despite talking to Twilight some. A few of her questions about ponies and Equestria in general had given her answers a lot different from what she had expected. For instance, Twilight had no idea what estrus was. The once-unicorn nodded back to Alice. "Yup! That's me, and you're right. The Elements are a crucial aspect of balance on our world. Without me, it's sort of... an incomplete equation." Twilight smiled around at her new friends, confident the math analogy was a good way to overcome the slight language barrier. A worried look creased her face and drooped her body forward. "Actually, now that I think about it, if they can't use them while I'm gone, the Elements are just as good as really shiny rocks." Alice raised a hand, a blank look on her face. Twilight's eyes glanced up, then blinked in surprise. "Uhm, yes?" "This might be a dumb question, but couldn't... somepony else," Alice let out a snicker before continuing, "use the element in your place? Somepony," another giggle, "that embodies harmony and magic just as well as you?..." She trailed off in the wake of Twilight shaking her head sadly. "The Elements bond themselves to whomever embodies them best, the only way to change that is for them to choose new bearers. Princess Celestia educated me extensively on their uses and applicative properties, they aren't simple trinkets or your everyday magical appliance in the least. The Elements of Harmony only chose us as the new bearers after a thousand years of being locked away from Princess Celestia. As far as anypony knows, including the Princess, it could take another thousand years before somepony besides myself could- Is everything okay?" Twilight frowned worriedly across the room at the couch, where Alice was in a fit of giggling. "Oh, I'm so sorry, it's just every time you say 'everypony' it sets me off. Uggh, we were talking about serious world-threateny stuff, weren't we-? Ow! Hey!?" Alice looked from Twilight to Jo with a glare, having just been smacked on the side of the head as the other girl walked behind her with the dishes. Twilight watched the unfolding chaos with a growing look of amusement, recalling similar things happening between her own friends. They definitely have the chemistry of best friends alright. She recognized the combative traits of friendliness that AJ and Dash shared, fairly familiar with how strange friendships could get. After confusing words that sounded awfully inappropriate for some reason, Jo left for a moment, leaving Twilight and Alice alone. The blonde girl sat quietly on the couch until speaking up finally. "So I was right?" Alice asked, breaking the silence. She seemed a great deal more tame and at ease now. Twilight surmised it may well be because Jo wasn't present. "Equestria could be in mortal peril with you stuck here?" She grinned slightly, and the glimmer of excitement was unmistakable in her eyes. "Er, well, I highly doubt it. They weren't used for centuries after all and Equestria got by alright." Twilight gave a sheepish smile and rubbed the back of her head. "We did use them several times recently... but it was just bad luck, I'm sure. Regardless, I still should get home, though. The sooner the better, for everypony. On the political side of things, as long as I'm here I can't use the Elements or fulfill my duties as a bearer." She sighed and stood up to stretch, ridding her still achy limbs of some lingering tiredness. "On the personal side of things... well... you know." Alice looked back at Twilight with a sad expression. She imagined coping with something like this wasn't very easy. "I appreciate you wanting to help me, Alice. I hope we get to be good friends." Twilight eeped as the other girl jumped at her, and she found herself in a hug that rivaled any Pinkie Pie ever gave. "Friends!? With Twilight Sparkle!? That is so cool, I mean, glad to be aboard, captain!" Alice stood back and beamed at the surprised pony-girl and the smile she returned to her. Alice replied to Jo after taking a deep gulp from her tea. "So, wow, that's it huh? Well, I think we should just tell her, waiting won't exactly help, and even it if isn't common there, she's not unfamiliar with... well, let's call it 'evil' for simplicity's sake." The impromptu answerer to Jo's plea for help sat crossed legged on the floor, in front of Jo's fireplace, a small blaze burning in the old home's antiquated addition. "Maybe..." Jo watched the dancing flames in the dim living room, intent to just let some time pass by calmly after what she considered to be a very crazy last few days. The two girls were neck deep in discussing Twilight and everything to do with her, including their 'real' plan, if somebody could call it that. Twilight had again gone to bed, albeit a little hesitantly because of lingering fears over nightmares. In the end the transfigured pony had turned in, eager to rid herself of her cold. In the meantime both Jo and Alice had cleaned the house completely, the hyper blonde and dreary brunette making short work of the remaining clutter. "Well, Twilight's not going anywhere anytime soon, as far as we know, and we're not experts about this." Jo flopped her head over on the recliner's headrest to look at Alice. "Listening to you and your hair-brained ideas for how to ease Twilight into learning about humanity has made that perfectly clear." "Hey!" Alice shot back, making a distasteful face. "Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles would be a great first step towards understanding what you would come to expect from people, it'd be like-" "No, just no," Jo pressed a palm to her temple. "I don't want to know your reasoning behind it, I already told you." She managed to suppress a pinch of laughter that tried to crawl out of her from Alice's antics. "I don't disagree that a few select shows or a movie might be a good way to familiarize our naive resident with some things, or even ease her into learning that most of our history is gruesome." Her hand found its way to pick up her drink, being in the company of a friend it was the first chance in a while she'd had to be a 'social' drinker. "But... I think that being straight with her would be the best way to go about it. Not yet, though, eventually." Alice twiddled her thumbs while watching the flames with Jo, before looking over at the other woman, the red and yellow firelight playing shadows and tricks of the eye off her face. "So you're going to go out and get her a bunch of study material and just make her stay cooped up here?" Alice stared flatly at her friend. "Why did you involve me in this if that's what you were going to do anyway?" Jo grunted and scowled, then took another gulp of her drink. "I'm not 'making' her, I'm letting her. Come on Alice, the other day she asked me why I don't go outside to visit friends or neighbors. I don't even know my neighbors, and she was telling me all about how she invites hers in for tea sometimes." She glanced at the caffeinated drink Alice had prepared for herself, and got a knowing nod from the blonde girl for it. "Our world isn't her concern, Alice, we've taken up the responsibility to protect her, be there for her, and maybe even give her hope." Alice sighed and slumped in her chair, leaning closer to the fire and over her knees. The fire warmed her face in the cooling autumn climate. "I don't disagree with you, I guess. I just want to do more than give her hope, Jo. I want to wish there was something magical, somewhere on Earth we could go on an epic adventure to go get, you know? That would be so much easier than this. Wouldn't that be spectacular?" "Yeah, it would be pretty cool," Jo answered back quietly, swirling her glass slowly. A log on the fire snapped, and rolled to the edge of the fireplace's gate. "You know, it isn't impossible there could be something. We'll look some, without Twilight though. At least until... you know, we show her that stuff." "Yeah, if that's how you want to do it," Alice acknowledged back levelly, "she might get suspicious before you end up making a decision as to why you won't let her look, too." Jo shook her head. "No, I'll get her enough books and study material to do physics and robotics to keep her busy for a while. She likes books a lot more than the internet or computers, anyway." She considered Twilight's introduction to laptops as an example. It was true that Twilight thought they were 'fascinating', but she didn't exactly like the 'button boards' that they had, as she called them. I never really thought about why they were called key boards. The placid, monotone thought matched the mood that the air had taken on between the two women. The room was quiet. Both friends thought over Twilight, the craziness they had stumbled on, and the fact that there wasn't anything spectacular enough on Earth that could get a lost unicorn home. Jo perked up a little. "We could show her Dr. Who, maybe she could make a dimension traveling version of the Tardis." She smiled and looked over at her friend, breaking the mood. Alice blinked, then sat up while chuckling. "That might not be a bad idea." The smiles devolved into merry laughter between them, the fire crackling and snapping nearby to add its own thoughts on the matter.