A Novice Swordsman in the Canterlot Court

by DungeonMiner


33-The Real Best Night Ever

Chapter 33

Prince Blueblood XVI smiled.

Yes, tonight would be a good night. The orchestra had been perfectly selected, the
catering had been perfectly supervised, the food had been perfectly prepared, and the guests were perfectly behaved.

It was shaping up to be quite the perfect evening.

Of course it was; he had planned it, after all.

A glass of wine hung perfectly poised in his magical grasp, and he took a moment to adjust his perfectly groomed blond mane.

Had to keep up appearances, what with the Pendragon coming.

Blueblood’s reputation had taken quite the hit last year when he had not shown, what with telling all of his friends that he was coming. At the very least he had saved himself the humiliation of hanging a massive sign.

But no, he was coming this time. He was coming, and what’s more he was bringing some friends of his own. The thought had the Prince smiling when he heard the news, a chance to not only impress the Pendragon, but also his close friends?

Yes, this evening was going to be absolutely perfect.

He gave a fake smile as yet another pony who was not the Pendragon entered. “Hello, and Welcome to the Gala.”

The pony thanked him and continued on.

Ugh, playing doorman was so beneath him.

But it was a necessary sacrifice. It would all pay off the second the Pendragon entered.

It was going to be perfect.

“Well, Your Grace, I’m surprised to see you here, I’d imagine you’d be on a stage somewhere,” a voice said.

Prince Blueblood gave his best smile to the entering entrepreneur. “Hello, Mr. Fancypants.” His smile lacked any sort of warmth, and the Prince’s eyes glared daggers. “Common trash.”

“Your Grace,” The monocle-wearing unicorn answered. The noblepony’s face was much more honest. Rather than a fake smile, his face was caught in a deadpan. “Arrogant imbecile.”

The two glared daggers at each other, and to anypony who watched carefully, those daggers seemed to fence in the middle of the air between them.

“Fancy...please, we’re here to have fun tonight,” the mare at his side pleaded. The slender mare with the pink and white mane stood next to him, trying to pull him away from the Prince.

Fancypants broke contact first. “Yes, you’re right, Fleur, of course. I’m simply wondering why, His Exalted Grace is standing by the door. He is not normally one to play lapdog.”

Blueblood forced his smile more as he tried to kill the pony before him with his eyes. “I am merely waiting for an important and regal stallion. One I’m sure you have never met.”

“If you mean ‘regal’ according to your definition, I’m sure I would hate to meet him. Well, Fleur, let’s be off, I’d hate to waste more of my short life in present company.”

As the two walked away, Blueblood finally shot the stallion a scowl behind his back. He silently hoped that stallion in particular would die of the plague.

He turned back to the door, greeting more unimportant ponies as he waited for his guest. Once the Pendragon got here everything would be fine.

Perfect even.

<<<|Ω|>>>

Alan watched as Canterlot Castle slowly came into view. He smiled before calling out, “Everypony ready?”

“Sir, yes sir!” came the reply, from both his friends, and a select few chosen for the entourage.

“Miss Tart, you know your lines?” Alan asked as he stepped toward the prow.

“Sir, yes sir!” the lemon yellow mare replied.

“Vinyl, Neon?”

“Ready when you are, sir!” the latter answered.

“Gentlecolts?” he asked the line of armored soldiers.

“Sir, yes sir!” came the answer.

Alan smiled, before leaning over the prow. “Then let’s make an entrance.”

Jotum!

<<<|Ω|>>>

A deafening roar sounded in the distance.

Those that were more scientifically minded recognized it as a dragon’s call.

Panic began to ripple through the ponies gathered. What was that? Where did it come from?

“Look!” someone from the crowd shouted, pointing off to the east.

An air yacht, hovering just a few hundred yards above the ground, slowly turned towards the castle, and as it did, lights began to erupt along its surface.

Within seconds, what was once a yacht was now a dragon of light. Its massive, multi-colored wings slowly flapped as a gigantic head nobly swept from side to side.

A deep drum began to sound.

Ba Dum. Ba Dum.

The dragon of light exploded, transforming into faux fireworks as the drums suddenly picked up.

Ba-dum, ba-dum!

The yacht began to pull in, docking next to one of the many balconies of the palace.

Ba-ra-ra-da-dum, ba-ra-ra-da-dum!

The gangplank was lowered, and six armed guards filled out, moving with military precision as the made perfect right-angle turns until they flanked gangway, three on each side.

A golden armored unicorn mare with yellow fur and a lime green mane stepped forward. On her back she wore a special harness to carry a banner, the black and silver banner of the Pendragon himself.

Ba-ra-ra-da-dum, ba-ra-ra-da-dum!

With the ring of magic, and a leaf-green aura, the mare pulled out a scroll. Unrolling it, she cleared her throat before speaking to the shocked-silent audience. “Presenting Pendragon Alan Goldenhoof, Heir of Arthur, Wielder of Judgement, Prince of Gryphus, Defeater of Discord, Hero of Canterlot, and his beloved General Twilight Sparkle, Student of Celestia, Bearer of the Element of Magic, Defeater of Discord, Keeper of the Door to Oblivion, the Lavender Terror.”

Alan and Twilight walked down the gangplank as they were announced. Alan wore a simple black jacket, leaving the white of his coat to contrast with his outfit. His golden hooves glinted in the light, and that sight alone got the nobles whispering to each other.

Twilight was as stunning as ever. She had chosen a much simpler dress, a sleek black wrap with silver stars embroidered into its entirety. Her mane was done in a bun, and she wore a silver headband with silver stars that held her hair in place.

Kiwi Tart spoke again. “Presenting Captain Thunderlane, The Pony with a Thousand Hooves, and his date General Rainbow Dash, Bearer of the Element of Loyalty, Defeater of Discord, the Prismatic Thunder.”

Thunderlane wore a black suit that seemed to meld in with his coat with a white collared shirt and a bright red tie.

Rainbow Dash wore the black dress she had asked him out on, complete with her mother’s pearls and the small application of makeup.

“Presenting Captain Soarin of the Wonderbolts, the Cloudbreaker, and his beloved, General Pinkamena Pie, Bearer of the Element of Laughter, Defeater of Discord, the Pink Storm, the Crazed Cannoneer.”

Soarin wore his navy blue formal attire, complete with badges and medals, while Pinkie wore a sky blue dress that had balloons and candy embroidered into it.

“Presenting Captain Spica Draconis, Dragon of Deep Emeralds, Keeper of the Emerald Flame, Born of Fire and Magic, and his beloved, General Rarity, Bearer of the Element of Generosity, Defeater of Discord, The Diamond Death, The Crystal Soldier.”

Spike wore a simple suit jacket, hemmed with emeralds much like Alan’s old suit. A few fainted at the sight of him, other’s had their jaw drop. A few simply wondered how he got the mare next to him.

Rarity wore a amethyst and emerald ensemble, complete with lacy frills with green glass beads and a circlet with a emerald at its center. The design was a mix of her original Gala dress, but was lighter, having less layers, and the end of the dress seemed to be made of tulle, allowing her form to be just visible underneath her dress.

“Presenting Captain Big Macintosh, the Pony of Living Thunder, the Apple Mountain, and his date, General Fluttershy, Bearer of the Element of Kindness, Defeater of Discord, the Gentle Hoof.”

Big Mac slowly led Fluttershy off the ship, his yoke gone and replaced with the same tux he wore to the wedding.

Fluttershy, on the other hand wore a very conservative light green dress with pale blue accents and yellow frills, with a green bow holding her mane back. Currently, she was doing her best to try looking like she wasn’t desperate to disappear from sight.

“Presenting Captain Silver Pauldrons, the Hammer of the Pendragon, the Steadfast Stallion, and his date General Applejack, Bearer of the Element of Honesty, Defeater of Discord, Lady of the Deathly Chain.”

Silver wore a leather vest, a black stetson, and cowboy boots. A silver Bolo tie came around his baby blue shirt collar and his eyes glinted mischievously.

Applejack wore the same exact thing she had worn at the last Gala, but it would be a lie to say that she hadn’t spent an actual hour in front of a mirror trying to get her mane and makeup just right.

Silver was surprised she was wearing makeup at all.

As the ponies walked out into the ballroom, the ponies could only watch in stunned silence.

They never noticed the two DJs slipping away.

Blueblood suddenly pushed his way forward. “Ah, yes, Mr. Pendragon!” he called, wine glass following him.

“Ah, yes, thank you my good stallion!” Alan said as he ripped the glass from the Prince. “Be sure to get some for the rest of my friends will you?”

The Prince blinked. “Uh,”

“Very nicely dressed waiters here, wouldn’t you agree, Twi?” Alan said as he continued moving forward.

The Prince gaped in unabashed horror. Waiter? He thinks I’m a waiter?!

He quickly looked down at his attire.

Of course! I am much too simply dressed! I must rectify this immediately!

<<<|Ω|>>>

“Hello, Mr. Fancypants,” Celestia greeted.

“Greetings,” Luna said.

“A pleasure, Princesses,” he said before moving on, allowing the next ponies in line to come up.

“Hello Auntie Celestia, Auntie Luna.”

“Ah!” Celestia said, “Cadence, Shining, how are you two doing?”

The pink princess smiled. “Doing fine, Auntie.”

“Serviceable, your Majesty,” Shining replied, wearing his red formal wear.

“Glad to hear it,” Celestia said, before looking up at the commotion that was forming down the line.

A hooful of familiar ponies began making their way up the stairs, the line practically evaporating in front of them.

Before long, Alan had made his way to the top of the stairs, everypony else having simply got out of the way. “Princess Celestia, Princess Luna,” he greeted them before looking towards the smaller ponies, “Shining, Principessa Cadenza, buonasera.

She smiled at him. “Buonasera, Pendragon.”

“Alan, I’m actually surprised you came,” Celestia said.

“Yes, politics tends to be quite the effective repellent,” Alan agreed. “But tonight the girls and I have a plan.”

“Do you?” Celestia asked, sounding slightly amused.

“We’re going to turn the Gala into one of Pinkie’s parties, most probably at Prince Blueblood’s expense. Not out of spite, mind you, just some good clean fun.”

Rarity coughed.

“Well, mostly not out of spite,” Alan amended.

Celestia blinked.

She really shouldn’t.

It was wrong to do that to her adopted nephew.

But...it was just too good.

Celestia smiled. “I...have been waiting a long time to hear that, Pendragon.”

“Tia,” Luna huffed indignantly.

“Blueblood, if anypony, needs to loosen up a bit, Lulu. It will be a good learning experience for him.”

Luna gave her sister a look.

“If nothing else, it will make the night more bearable,” Celestia said, countering her sister’s silence.

Luna rolled her eyes, and then expertly hid her smile as she looked off into the distance.

Cadence was smiling like a madpony, “Oh, can I help? I’ve always thought the Gala was a little dull.”

“Naturalmente,” Alan replied, smiling. “Spero che non ti...dispiaccia usando Bitaliana, è solo ho...ah...bisogno di più pratica.”

Cadence smiled. “Niente. E 'bello sentire di nuovo.”

Alan smiled, “Well, you girls know what to do, I’ll get Cadence caught up with the plan, see you in a few, my Little Star.”

“Piccola stella?” Cadence asked.

“Il mio...nome per Twilight,” Alan explained.

Cadence lit up at that, “Aw! Così carino!”

Twilight and Shining watched as the two slowly disappeared, lost in their own language.

“Is it weird that my wife and your coltfriend get along this well?” Shining asked his sister.

“You’re the social one in the family, you tell me.”

<<<|Ω|>>>

“Now that was a fun day,” Alan said as he finished his story.

The Pendragon and the Princess had wandered for a bit, swapping stories, plans and secrets in Bitalian. Every now and then the Princess would correct him, but Alan was proud to say that those moments were few and far between.

They had moved out to one of the palaces many balconies, and had begun to talk about Shining and Twilight.

As Alan finished his story, however, he noticed Cadence had began to look off into the distance.

“Princess?”

“Hm? What?” she asked, as though she were caught in a class after being asked a question.

“Is something wrong?”

“No, nothing at all,” she answered.

Alan frowned. “I know that look, Princess. Something’s wrong. I just want to help.”

Cadence looked at him for a long moment. She didn’t say anything as she stared, and Alan was about to let the subject drop when she said “Have you ever heard of a flügelhorn?”

Alan blinked. “No...no I haven’t.”

Cadence nodded. “I’m not surprised. They’re something from back home.”

“Bitaly?”

Cadence sighed. “Bitaly is not my home. It’s where I grew up, it’s where I was born, it’s even where I made my first friends, but it is not my home.” Cadence looked northward. “Bitalian was the first language I learned. Bitalian food was the first thing I tasted. I even have a Bitalian name, but Bitaly is not my home.

“My home is far to the north, in a country that has not been seen by mortal eyes for more than a thousand years. My home is the place of flügelhorns, jousting, Crystal berries, and a rare species of sheep. None of which I’ve seen, or even particularly care for. But they are from my home, and so I must care. I prefer the Bitalian mandolin over the flügelhorn, but I must learn how to play the horn first.”

She sighed. “I’m simply homesick, but I have no home to be sick for. Everypony has a home but me.”

Alan gave her a soft smile. “Ever heard of Walmart?”

Cadence looked at him, confused.

“It’s a store,” Alan explained, “a store so large that they have everything from clothes to food. They sell almost everything you’d ever need. The issue is, is that they don’t exist in Equestria. Ever heard of a Dairy Queen Blizzard? It’s ice cream so thick that they can serve it to you upside down. Or, at least they used to.”

Alan looked up at the Princess. “Ponyville is a nice place to live, it has everything I need, and my friends are there. But it is not my home.

“My home is in a place called Georgia, a state with four kinds of music: Country, country, rock, and country. Its a place that’s the perfect mix of backwater paradise and urban living. Its a place that has practically been overrun by a nasty vine that has roots so large they are almost impossible to dig out.”

Alan looked up at her. “Georgia does not exist in this world, Princess. I will never see it again. Ponyville has come close, but simply put, I have no home.”

Cadence smiled, her eyes misty with tears. “Now there’s a stallion I can see Twilight falling in love with.”

Alan smiled. “Thank you, speaking of, I really shouldn’t leave her alone for so long.”

“No, and I shouldn’t leave Shining, he’s bound to get into trouble if I don’t keep an eye on him,” she said as she wiped her eyes.

Alan smiled, “Come on, Princess, we have a Gala to ruin.”

<<<|Ω|>>>

Prince Blueblood descended the stairs, wearing his ceremonial crown and regal red robe.

Now this was a look that would catch the Pendragon’s attention.

He descended the stairs with poise and purpose, as befitting a prince.

Ah, here was one of the Pendragon’s friends now. What was her name again? Raincloud Bash? Yes, yes that seemed right.

She was walking along with her date, when suddenly her eyes caught the Prince. She gave him a smile and they began to approach.

Yes, Blueblood, getting mares to smile like that was always your specialty.

“Excuse me,” she said as she approached, “but are you the Prince?”

Blueblood smiled and was about to answer the affirmative when he was suddenly cut off. “Oh, what am I thinking? You are much too handsome to be the Prince.”

Blueblood froze, mouth hanging open, unable to form a proper response to that.

The cyan mare and the black stallion simply walked away after that, leaving Blueblood where he stood.

That...how...what?

He shook his head. “Alright, let’s try a different friend.”

<<<|Ω|>>>

Alan and Cadence quickly met up with their dates, and both stallions kissed their mares in greeting.

“Ready for some fun tonight, Twi?” Alan asked.

“I sure am,” she answered, before pushing herself into his side.

“Then let’s start the night with a drink,” he said before turning to his friends. “If you two would join us.”

“Of course,” Cadence answered with a smile, before following as Alan led them all to the very large buffet.

As they were making their way, Alan was suddenly blindsided, caught in a massive hug that picked him off the ground as a voice practically yelled “Brother!”

Alan turned his head, and was surprised to see a familiar griffon crushing his rib cage. “Julius?”

The griffon prince dropped the unicorn and laughed as Alan tried to stand again. “Ah! Alan, my brother! It has been far too long!”

“Julius,” Alan repeated as he stood. “What are you doing here?”

“What else?” Julius said as he smiled, “Dancing the political dance, as my father has done and his father before him.”

“Julius,” a voice said, and the griffon prince turned to see the albino griffon maiden that guarded the tree, “He may be your brother, but I’m sure he still does not like be treated as prey.”

Julius blushed a touch. “Ah, right, herbivores. Sorry brother.”

“I’ll live,” Alan answered.

“Oh!” Julius said. “Where are my manners? Alan, this is my fiance, Lydia Snowlily.”

“We’ve met,” Alan said with a smile before sending the Maiden of the Tree a quick bow. “I’m sure you both remember General Twilight?” he asked.

“Of course,” Lydia said as she approached.

“We also have in our company today Captain Shining Armor and his wife, Princess Cadence.”

“My humblest greetings, Princess,” Julius said with a bow.

“Cadence,” Alan continued, “this is Prince Julius Ironblood, my brother by blood oath.”

“A pleasure,” Cadence answered, before giving the Prince a bow of her own.

“We were just on our way to get some drinks,” Alan said, “care to join us?”

“I’d be pained not to,” Julius answered.

As the small company made their way to the buffet they instantly got to swapping stories and laughs as they poured themselves drinks.

<<<|Ω|>>>

Blueblood quickly closed the space between himself and the hat-wearing couple.

These two he would surely be able to impress.

Silver turned and saw the Prince approaching. “Well howdy, there, sir. A pleasure to meet you.”

“I can say the same,” Blueblood said with a smile. “My name is Prince Blueblood.”

“Prince, huh? I knew a couple ponies named Prince, nice guys.”

“Oh, no,” the prince said, “My name is Blueblood.”

Silver frowned. “But I thought you said you’re Prince. You’re not lying to me, are you?”

“What? No! My name is Blueblood, Prince Blueblood.”

“So your name is Prince then, is it?”

“No, it’s Blueblood.”

“But you said Prince.”

“I am Prince Blueblood.”

“So you are Prince, then?”

“No!” Blueblood yelled. “I am Prince Blueblood!”

“So it is Prince?”

“No!”

“Well what is it then!?”

“It’s Blueblood! My name is Blueblood! I am a Prince! Prince Blueblood!” He roared, until everypony in the room was staring at him.

Silver nodded. “Well all you had to do was say so.”

Blueblood’s eye twitched.

<<<|Ω|>>>

Alan was not entirely sure what he was looking at. There was a single mare in the congregation that was wearing something that was...

Well, she was wearing something.

It was a black leather saddle that seemed more than a little tight around the waist. surrounding the leather was a frill of black lace, and towards the tail...well...

Her tail had been wrapped up in a black bow at the base, and it seemed to be a part of the saddle, pulling her tail up at a high angle...

Well, it left very little to the imagination.

“Twilight, Twilight come here,” Alan said.

“What is it?”

“Do you see that mare?”

“Which one?”

“The green mare with the light blue mane, to the left.”

“I don’t...oh...wow.”

“Yeah, that one. Is she wearing what I think she’s wearing?”

Twilight turned, facing away from the floor so that she could whisper to her coltfriend. “She may as well be.”

“So that’s not a kinky saddle?” Alan whispered.

“It’s definitely risque, but its not lingerie,” she said, turning back around.

“How can you tell?” Alan asked.

“You’ll recognize the kinky saddle when you see one.”

Alan smiled. “When I see one, huh? Is that an offer?”

Twilight answered with a punch to his side.

The Pendragon laughed before he spotted something. “Alright Twi, get ready,” he said as he led the unicorn towards the group, “here comes our target.”

<<<|Ω|>>>

Octavia finished her solo, ending the song, and a polite applause sounded from the crowd of ponies.

It was nice to be back behind her cello. It had been almost half a year since she had picked it up last, a little personal playing time between the last Gala and now, not including the practice she had to put in for one.

Still it was nice to hear it sing again.

The crowd began to disperse and conversations began to turn into a low rumble around the room. Octavia picked up her bow to begin playing more background music when she was suddenly interrupted from her thoughts by a very familiar voice.

“Yo, Tavi!”

The earth pony fumbled, nearly dropping her bow at the sound of her nickname being called. “Vinyl?” she asked the air around her, turning to see the DJ in question.

“What up?” the white unicorn asked, standing next to her coltfriend.

Octavia blinked. “Vinyl? What are you doing here?”

“Here on orders,” she answered with a mischievous grin.

“Orders?” Octavia asked.

“Yup. And I quote: ‘We’re going to get these Canterlot fuddy-duddies to have fun, or die trying!’”

Octavia blinked.

“Let me put it to you this way, Tavi,” Vinyl said, looking up at the cellist from above her sunglasses. “There are two things you can do right now. One, save your rep and get out of here. Two, stick around, have fun, and blame it on orders.”

Octavia looked down at her friend from the stage.

Oh, she was going to regret this tomorrow.

<<<|Ω|>>>

Prince Blueblood approached the group, slowly trying to get into conversation with the Pendragon without trying to look like he was desperate for an audience.

After circling the room twice, Blueblood finally approached the Pendragon’s little clique.

“Good evening, sirs and madams,” Blueblood said, inserting himself into the conversation.

“And you are?” Alan asked, throwing the Prince a disinterested look.

“Alan, please,” Cadence said. “This is the Prince.”

“Oh! Of course, Prince Blueballs.”

“Blueblood,” the Prince corrected.

“A pleasure to meet you, Blueballs,” Alan said ignoring the correction. “An excellent Gala you’ve planned this year.”

Blueblood gave a tentative smile. “Yes, well, the Blueblood line has been in charge of planning the Gala for the past eleven generations.”

“And an amazing job you've done, Blueballs.”

“Blueblood.”

“But, even so, I can’t help but feel like something’s missing...”

“Weren’t you saying something about the music earlier?” Twilight asked.

“Ah! Yes! Of course, say, Blueballs—”

“Blueblood.”

“—you wouldn’t happen to know where the music is, would you?”

“But of course!” Blueblood said, before leading them away. “The music is being performed in the conservatory.”

The Prince quickly led the royalty and company away, Alan shooting the green mare one last, curious glance.

Who would wear that?

Blueblood lead the ponies and griffons to a pair of massive golden doors, the ones that seemed overly prevalent in Canterlot Castle, and said “You’ll find the music through here quite—”

He opened the door and was cut off as an incredibly loud techno beat filling the air.

Blueblood looked absolutely horrified.

Where was the cellist? Where was the orchestra? Where had those speakers come from? Why am I moving backwards?!

Strobe lights flashed and lasers flew over the crowd of ponies, most of whom, suddenly seeing a source of light, ran for their lives.

My guests! Where are they going!?

“Hello Everypony!” a voice yelled through the speakers. “Tonight we’re going to party like we’ve never partied before!”

Who is that!? Celestia help me, if I get my hooves on her, I’ll—

“Excellent selection, Blueballs!” Alan yelled as the music threatened to drown out his voice.

What...?

“I like ponies who are willing to try something new,” the Pendragon said, before turning to his date. “May I have this dance, my Little Star?”

Twilight smiled and raised her hoof.

Alan smiled back and took it.

The two quickly disappeared into the darkness.

Shining looked at Cadence.

She looked back.

And then they quickly danced their way in.

Julius looked to Lydia.

She shrugged. “When in Gryphus.”

And with that, the two griffon followed their friends inside.

Blueblood blinked, staring into the darkness as it roared with its heavy bass and dancing lasers.

His head turned towards the guests that had ran out running and screaming. He could still get them! He could convince them this was all a big—

“Hi!”

“Dah!” the Prince screamed, jumping a foot in the air.

“My name’s Pinkie Pie!” The Pink pony yelled, her neck stretching to impossible proportions as her body hid amongst the darkness and small crowd of ponies that were actually enjoying themselves.

“Let’s Dance!” she cried, before grabbing the Prince by the hooves and dragging him inside.

And thus it came to pass that Blueblood experienced his first mosh pit.

It was not pleasant.

<<<|Ω|>>>

“Whew!” Alan said as he came out of the dark room, covered in sweat and breathing heavily. “That was fun, wasn’t it Blueballs?”

Blueblood hobbled out, his crown and robe missing, his suit had been torn, and his mane was an utter wreck. There were bruises forming under his jaw and along his barrel. He was even sporting a new black eye, complete with a stare that said in no uncertain terms that he hated the world. “Blueblood,” he corrected.

The others exited the room, the Griffon Prince laughing maniacally as he stepped back into the light. “Ha ha! Such fun! We need more of this music in the Empire!”

“Please no,” Lydia said as she followed her fiance.

“You don’t like it?” Julius said, aghast.

“It’s not for everyone,” Twilight said, adjusting her mane as she stepped into the light.

“In all truth, I prefer rock myself,” Alan said.

“Well, I don’t know about you five,” Shining said, “but I’m starving!”

“Oh, yes!” Alan said. “Food sounds awesome. Let’s all head to the buffet.”

The small group quickly took off, heading for the food that called to their empty stomachs.

Blueblood glared at them as they left.

“So are you coming back in?” A voice said, much too close to his head.

He turned and found himself staring into the face of Pinkie.

“Wait for me!” he shouted, before chasing after the Pendragon.

Pinkie shrugged. His loss.

<<<|Ω|>>>

Fluttershy was at it again. Given how her last time at the Gala had ended in disaster, she had promised herself that she wouldn’t be chasing the animals around the garden.

And just like last time, she was now doing just that.

Big Macintosh watched as Fluttershy...fluttered, he supposed...

She always seemed to be fluttering. It was something she did. It was never a powerful flap, nor was it a graceful glide, it was a quick, almost panicked flutter. Whenever she flew, it was almost always frantic.

There were a few times where he had seen her fly with grace, but not often.

No, the only time he had really seen her grace was when she walked.

There was a great irony in that. A pegasus that seemed better fit for the ground. A creature of the air in touch with the earth. She would have made a good Earth pony, he decided. Much like Pinkie, whose head was almost always in the clouds anyway, would have made a better pegasus, he felt that Fluttershy would have made a better Earth pony.

He watched her scurry by, trying to get a couple of toucans to come to her, before abandoning them in favor of some kangaroo mice.

Big Mac watched her flutter to and fro before lifting his left hoof.

As the pegasus zoomed by once more, the Draft pony brought his hoof down, catching the tip of her tail. The pegasus snapped back, slamming into the immovable red mass. She looked up at him, but he remained completely motionless. “Just sit still,” he said.

The pegasus blinked, before sitting next to the large stallion.

She sat, and she waited.

<<<|Ω|>>>

Blueblood finally caught up with the group of ponies that needed to be impressed.

Ever since he had left, he had been bogged down by hundreds of guests, all claiming that a monster had been eating all the food and a few pieces of jewelry of the guests.

That was obviously insane, though.

Nonetheless, he did notice a severe lack of food at the buffet table.

“Ah! There you are, Blueballs!”

He didn’t even bother correcting him this time.

Just as the Prince was going to grab a glass of some heavy alcohol, he was suddenly interrupted as a guard approached. “Sir, there’s someone at the doors. He wishes to speak with you.”

Blueblood blinked at the guard, his eyes going back and forth between the pony and the still empty glass. Finally he sighed. “Fine.”

As the battered prince was led away, Alan smiled. “That’s probably the delivery, I’ll be right back.”

Alan followed the guard and the Prince, smiling to himself.

When Blueblood arrived at the door, he was horrified to see a teenager colt with more than a few pimples on his face, and stacks upon stacks of thin boxes behind him.

“Hey, you in charge?” the teenager asked.

“Y-yes?” Blueblood said, caught off guard by the teen's brash opening.

“Yeah, I got two hundred and thirty-eight orders of pineapple and mushroom pizzas here, I’ll need someone to pay for that.”

“Pizza?” Blueblood repeated.

“What else does this look like, dude?”

“Pizza?” Blueblood shrieked. “This is the Grand Galloping Gala! We do not partake of such common trash as piz—”

“Alright! My pizza’s here!” Alan said.

And the words died in his throat.

Blueblood turned to the Pendragon, “Hope you don’t mind much, Blueballs, but ponies were gettin’ hungry, so I made a call.”

Blueblood’s eye twitched.

“How much, kid?” Alan asked, reaching for his checkbook.

“No, sir,” Blueblood said, his tongue acting before his brain. “This was my...oversight...allow me to take...care...of this...”

Alan turned and blinked at the Prince, “Well that’s thoughtful of you, Blueballs, thanks!”

“Don’t mention it...” the Prince said as Alan walked away.

The colt smirked. “That’ll be one thousand, nine hundred and one bits, and sixty-two cents.”

Blueblood glared.

<<<|Ω|>>>

Fluttershy watched, fascinated, as a yellow breasted tit, one of the smallest birds known to ponykind, slowly climbed it’s way up Macintosh’s mane.

All he did was sit still, and they just came to him.

“Ya may have a connection with animals, Miss Fluttershy,” he said in his slow, deep voice. “But this is how the rest of us get skittish creatures to get close.”

Fluttershy watched in total awe.

The large pony chuckled, sending the small bird away. “Come on, now, we got to corral these critters.”

<<<|Ω|>>>

Blueblood sat, very annoyed, as the ponies around him ate pizza.

Fancypants included.

He would be enjoying this.

Of course, it hadn’t been until Auntie Celestia had enjoyed a slice that the catering had become unsalvageable.

There were so many of his guests that were just enjoying themselves on this...this garbage.

He made a note to blacklist them.

Then he remembered he can’t actually do that.

The dragon then thought now was a good time to enter the room, and grace the world with his barbaric presence. He walked forward, the mare in tow, and both were giving him an interesting look.

Blueblood looked back at them, his brain slowly kicking into gear as he thought that the mare looked familiar.

The mare smiled, before she went to grab a plate from the leftovers from the dessert table.

She approached, still smiling as she sauntered over.

As Blueblood's mind tried to come up with an answer as to her identity, he couldn't help but think she was quite beautiful. She would look excellent at his side, and...why did that seem like a bad idea?

"Good evening, Your Highness," she said with a smile and, when she finally got close enough, she said three words that changed everything. “Cake, your Highness?”

Cake.

That mare.

Gala.

Cake.

His eyes widened. “You!?”

Rarity smiled, before slamming the plate of cake into his face.

He sputtered, sending frosting flying this way and that as he tried to recover.

The door to the gardens slammed open, just in time for everything from kangaroos to ostriches began pouring into room.

“Farewell, Blueblood!” Rarity called, before pushing him into the way of the stampede and waving goodbye.

Blueblood himself was caught up and carried away by some sort of bird, he wasn’t sure what, and before long, found himself outside along with several more of his more important guests.

And so it came to pass that Blueblood had the worst night ever.

It was definitely not perfect.

<<<|Ω|>>>

The remainder of the ponies, those with either a good sense of humor, or a love for techno music and pizza were gathered in the throne room. Since the main hall and the once-dining room were still being cleared of small animals, the Princesses had been more than accommodating to the remaining guests, and had a table prepared in the throne room.

It was an odd sight, really, seeing fluted glasses and three hundred-year-old bottles of wine next to pizza boxes and candy wrappers, but those at the table didn’t seem to mind.

Admittedly, there were far less guests than there had been at the beginning, but you can’t make an omelette without breaking a few eggs.

Alan watched as conversation flourished, laughs were shared, and ponies enjoyed themselves. It was nice to see the upper crust of Canterlot having a good time, because at the end of the day, they were ponies too.

Alan smiled then, before tapping his glass with a spoon.

Silence fell quickly, and all eyes landed on the Pendragon.

He smiled, “Friends, family, Princesses,” he began, before flashing a wide smile, “and the rest of you degenerate scum, thank you all, for making tonight such an amazing night.”

Laughs broke out, followed by a quick applause.

“When I was invited to the Gala almost one month ago, I couldn’t help but think of boring conversation with ponies that made a two-by-four plank of wood look relaxed. I thought of polite conversation that was nothing more than fluff and filler, I thought of endless lines of nobles that wanted to simply give me a polite smile, only to turn around and sneer behind closed doors.

“In fact the only good thing that came to mind was the food.”

More laughs.

“So I thought to myself, ‘Self, the Gala is supposed to be the night where your dreams come true. How on earth is anypony dream going to come true through that mess?’

“So I started planning. I got my closest friends on board, and we set out to make this the best night ever. So imagine my surprise when a few of you, yes, you, the ‘upper crust,’ the ‘better than this,’ the ‘higher calling’ ponies that you are, decided to join in our little game. So before I continue, first I want to propose a toast. To you, the dancers and the pizza lovers, to the party animals and the animal dodgers, to you warm-blooded ponies hiding behind some very convincing masks. To you!”

The ponies around the table drank.

As they finished, Alan sat his glass down. “Now there is still one thing left for me to do before this is my best night ever,” he said.

And then he turned to Twilight.

He looked at her, his gaze drinking in her form.

His hoof shook as he stepped forward, and he quickly took a long, deep breath to steady himself.

“Almost four years ago, Twilight Sparkle, we met for the first time in this very room. Now, I can be a romantic and say that it was seeing such a vision of beauty is what made me think I was dreaming, but we both know that’s not true. I thought I was dreaming regardless. But in this dream, I could be hurt, and feel pain, and so I treated it as though it were real. Celestia even proved that it was real to me once, but I can’t help but doubt it.

“Well, dream or no, I must treat this as real if for nothing else than to save me pain. But if this is a dream, then I don’t want to wake up, for one very important reason.”

Twilight looked up at him.

“You, Twilight, have been kind to me. You opened up your home, you gave me your time and friendship, you helped me when I needed it the most. It took Discord himself to keep you away, and even then, it was only temporary. You’ve walked with me into Mordor, you’ve stayed by my side in Tartarus, and you fought with me in the greatest war of our time.

“And so, Twilight Starshine Sparkle,” Alan said, as a large black box came forward, held by silver mana-hands. “Would you be willing to fight through life at my side as well?”

The box opened, revealing a circlet with a carefully crafted amethyst at the center. The band was silver, and arched at the front, creating a bridge to sit over a horn.

Even Rainbow Dash could recognize it for what it was. A traditional Unicornian proposal circlet.

Twilight’s eyes went wide, and her mouth hung just barely open.

Alan smiled, “I’ve spoke with your parents, the Princesses, and your brother and his wife, and, after a few long conversations, and a few threats on my life,” he smiled as he spoke, “I have received a blessing from all of them. All that’s left, is for you to say yes...” he looked at her, giving her a gentle smile. “Twilight, will you marry me?”

Twilight blinked.

Her brain was running a mile a minute as hundreds of thoughts ran through her head.

“G-give me one second,” she said, before instantly regretting it.

A pained wince flew across Alan’s features, but he gave her a smile and sat.

“I’m sorry, just...just give me a second,” she muttered before quickly scurrying.

She didn’t know what to say, and so, as she always did, she went to consult an expert. She quickly slid a few chairs down to where Cadence sat, and frantically whispered. “Cadence! Cadence, what do I say?!”

Cadence sighed, before giving her a smile. “What do you want to say?”

“Yes!” she said in a harsh whisper. “But-but I don’t think I’m ready for this! I haven’t read up on marriage at all! What is it going to be like? How is this going to change things? What are foals going be like? Sweet Celestia! I’m not ready to be a mother!—”

“Twilight,” Cadence began.

“What about my friends? Am I going to be leaving them by doing this? How do they feel about this? What about my studies? What about Spike?—”

“Twilight.”

“What about my life? What about his life? What about—” she was suddenly cut off by a pink hoof being shoved into her mouth.

Cadence smiled at her. “You won’t know until you get there,” she said simply.

Twilight blinked.

“Here are the important questions. Do you love him?”

“Yes,” Twilight answered, without so much as a blink.

“Will you continue to choose to love him?”

“Yes,” she answered again.

Cadence smiled. “Then are you willing to let this once-in-a-lifetime chance pass you by?”

Twilight blinked.

And then sighed.

She looked up at the Princess, a smile on her face. “Thanks, Cadence.”

Cadence smiled. “Now hurry up and answer him, he’s only going to wait for so long.”

“Right,” Twilight said, before standing.

“Oh, and Twilight?”

“Yes, Cadence?”

“You’d make a great mother.”

The unicorn smiled. “Thanks,” she said, before walking straight towards the Pendragon.

Alan stood, still smiling.

“Alan,” she said, trying desperately to steady her voice in front of all these ponies. “I-I will. I will marry you.”

Alan smiled, as a new set of magick hands carefully lifted the crown out of the box, and gingerly, almost as if it were a royal coronation, set it upon her brow. The hands came down her face, carefully cupping each cheek as Alan took a step closer.

The hands pulled her into a gentle kiss.

And the crowd erupted into applause.

As the kiss broke, Alan smiled, looking into his beloved’s eyes. “Your Dad said that your Mom did the same thing.”

“What?”

“She asked him to wait for a second.”

“She did?” Twilight asked. “She never told me.”

“Would you tell your kid?” Alan asked with a smile.

Alan never got to hear the answer as the two were suddenly dog-piled by Twilight’s five, closest friends.

“Oh my gosh Twilight! This is awesome! This needs a ‘Congratulations on getting together, finally!’ party!”

“It’s about dang time you two got together!”

“That circlet looks absolutely amazing on you Darling. Oh, you simply must allow me to design the gown, please! I must!”

“What do you know? Even an Egghead can get the guy!”

“Oh, this is so nice. I’m just so happy for the two of you. So happy I could scream. Yay~!”

Twilight smiled. At least that was one thing she didn’t have to worry about.

Alan smiled as he looked into her eyes.

She smiled right back.

This really was the Best Night Ever.

--------------------------------

And there we go.

“Aw, I’m so happy!”

“Happy? HAPPY! DOESN'T EVEN! F*CKING! DESCRIBE IT!”

Hey, are those bells I hear ringing?

“Le Gasp! Are we getting another wedding?”

We are indeed, Pinkie, we are indeed.

See you next time, folks!

“Leave us the regular.”

Bye!