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// Liquor is Quicker 
// Story: Equestria: A Flux Tale 
// by Star Sage 
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You, Deasly, and Octavia carry on your conversation, with Octavia turning her head every once in a while to give the two of you a glare whenever you step outside the bounds that you are still discovering. Most subjects out of bounds are her and Vinyl's personal relationship, K-Colt and why it's off the air, and an interview they'd done with Celestia that, according to Deasly, had been just hilarious to listen to. He had, as it turned out, been a faithful listener for most of The Vinyl Scratch's life, from episode one to the last one they did during which Vinyl...off limits. Anyway, Deasly had, he said, been one of numerous ponies to write letters to Octavia after a particularly moving episode when they'd interviewed Spitfire of the Wonderbolts for the first time.

"You were one of them?" asked Octavia, a bit broken voiced. Obviously this was a bit of a soft spot for her, and when Deasly nodded emphatically, he got a kiss, which set his brown fur blazing red around his cheeks for a second, before a hollar from ahead got your attention.

"And here we are! Sweet Apple Acres, home of Equestria's best apples," said the farm pony, taking off her hat as she looked around at the sight, which is was quite lovely. The near noonday, a bit past, sun was blazing, and the apples shone in the light of it, shimmering drops of red on deep green leaves.

"Also home to the sweetest apple wine this world's ever known," commented the Professor, and your ears perked up a bit. This was the first time anyone had mentioned alcohol in your presence, and while you weren't a heavy drinker, this situation seemed just right to get something to drown one's sorrows in.

"That too, and I must admit, I'm feelin' a might thirsty my own self, so why don't we mosey on towards the farm house and get us all somethin' to drink?" offered Applejack, and before anyone else could really respond, she started off towards the home in the distance. Of course, in order to get there, the road ran right by part of the orchard, and before your group had gone more than a few dozen yards, the Professor suddenly let out a rather loud yell, and ran right up to the fence, waving his hoof in the air at somepony you couldn't see from your angle.

"Well, do my eyes deceive me? You said you worked out in the boondocks, but I never expected it was this far out," he called out, and you heard heavy steps coming closer, knowing who it was long before the head of Big Macintosh came over the fence, soon followed by the rest of him as he easily leaped it, grinning at DawnChaser.

"Professor, you didn't send me no letter you was comin by," said Big Macintosh, the most words you'd heard from him in a long time, his voice a bit softer than one might expect, given his size, but still deeper than the other ponies.

"Heh, I didn't know I'd be coming myself. Still, I must be slipping, I forgot you worked here on the farm during your main work week," said the Professor, as he and Big Macintosh bumped hooves together and shook them.

"Uh, Big Macintosh, do you know this fellar?" asked Applejack, curious as anyone at her brother's familiarity with the Professor.

"Course I do sis. I told you about him plenty of times. He's my drinking buddy from Manehatten," he tells her, and the two stallions begin to swap a story, but before they can get farther than the first shared sentence, Applejack holds up a hoof to stop them.

"Wait, you're tellin' me this pony is the one you spent all that time with during those deliveries. I thought you said he was bigger than you?" she asks, and the two just smile at each other some more, before DawnChaser lets loose with a spell, and suddenly Big Macintosh is the size of a mouse at the hooves of the others.

"He is sometimes, other times he's not, that's what I said," Big Macintosh told her, and DawnChaser used the spell again, this time on himself, causing him to shrink down to about the same size as Big Macintosh, as the two continued to trade stories the two of them likely both knew, and Applejack, looking down at her 'big' brother, just sighed, rolled her eyes, and started moving forward again. Deasly looked down towards here his mentor was chatting in the tall grass, but didn't stop Octavia from trotting off after Applejack and Twilight.

"They'll be fine. The Professor is actually really good at staying alive at tiny size, and he doesn't let anypony get hurt if they're with him, I know," said Deasly, as the trio of mares, and a human and colt, walked into the farm house. Luckily, it was empty.

"Well, Applebloom and the Crusaders are probably out at their little club house again, and Granny Smith went to visit a doctor over in Canterlot, so we've got the place to ourselves until my little brother decides to come in. So, how's about we nip into that apple wine Mr. Fancy Pants I can shrink myself and somepony's brother Professor was talkin about?" she asks, walking into the kitchen, and soon returning with a large bottle marked with three large X's on its label.

"Ah, the good stuff, I was afraid my brother'd done drank it all last week during that party o' his," she said, and then found Twilight levitating in glasses behind her, nodding her head in thanks as she began to fill them up, one for herself, Twilight, and Octavia, but then stopping when she got to the two for you and Deasly.

"Uh...so, how you two gonna drink?" she asked, and you smirk, suddenly remembering an old quote.

"To paraphrase Tony Stark, 'Who needs to swim in money, when you can swim in liquor?'" you say, and Deasly, after a moment's hesitation, nods, and Applejack pours some into one of the glasses. Deasly then levitates you over to it, not even seeming to strain, despite your similar weight, dropping you bodily into the glass, before asking Octavia to do the same to him. Oddly, you hear Octavia whisper, under her breath, that he tasted good too, making you smirk, as the pair of you begin to swim and kick inside the glass, taking big gulps, while the girls click their glasses together, and then start drinking themselves.

To say the next few....well, it was longer than a minute, but probably shorter than a year, though time gets muddied when you're swimming in wine. Anyway, to say it went swimmingly would be both accurate and inaccurate at the same time. You and Deasly were enjoying yourself, and so were the girls, who, after each having at least two glasses, though Applejack took five, were all feeling tipsy. That is to say, things that should have been terrible, terrible ideas, started to sound like fun, and you found yourselves encouraging each other to do something things that would have embarrassed your parents, and made other relations, if any of your other relations were still talking to you, refuse to acknowledge any relation at all.

Backing up, the first thing that went like that was Twilight being asked if she could juggle with her magic, which she did, for a while, taking first one apple, than two, three, seven, and so on, until she had a physical ring of apples floating in front of her. Luckily, his activity ended with less than twelve apples smashed into various things, to the sound of drunken laughter. Octavia was next on the list, and chugged four glasses of apple wine at once, her eyes seeming to turn the color of the stuff as she guzzled down the last of it, and then fell over, to much more drunken laughter, including her own. After that Applejack...you know what, that's private, and no one needs to know what Applejack might have admitted about a certain pony while she was inebriated.

When it came time for the two of you to take up on the drunken fun, you found Deasly leaning over the edge of the glass, smirking happily, but in no condition to do much at all, so you decided to have a little fun. Splashing him a bit, you then grabbed his hind legs, and dragged him back into the glass, screaming a bit, before turning into a gurgle the next moment. Now, it should be noted that you had been swimming in the alcohol this whole time, and thus, were quite a bit out of sorts in your though processes, so thinking this was a good idea wasn't a big stretch. Of course, if you had been thinking, it would have occurred to you that surprising a drunken unicorn with a shrink spell might not be a good idea, and it wasn't, as in this case, you and he were both covered in a flash of light, and suddenly found yourselves much smaller than before. To wit, instead of two mouse sized beings swimming in a glass of wine, suddenly there were two bug sized beings, probably a bit bigger than fleas, but definitely smaller than flies.

"Huh? Waz zhat?" said a voice, this one sounding drunk and distorted by the walls of the glass you were swimming in, still laughing as Deasly coughed, gagged, and then laughed himself. Looking up, you saw the face of a gray mare, not a particularly old one, wearing a bow tie. She was happily drunk too, smiling as she looked into the glass, and then turned towards the distorted images of Twilight and Applejack.

"Th-the-theeeee things in the grass, they van-hic!" she tried to say, hiccuping and then coughing loudly, making the other two ponies laugh in delight. Before you could do much laughing yourself though, Twilight told her to drink something to deal with the hiccups, and you and Deasly found yourselves being pulled under the wine, as it was levitated upwards. The sensation was just enough to sober your human brain, where it didn't do it to Deasly, so when you finally broke surface, you were aware it was a bad thing that your view was now filled with Octavia's face, with her mouth opening, and coming up fast.

"Oh, she's got a pretty smile," said Deasly, and for a moment, you actually find yourself feeling jealous, but then that feeling is replaced by a cry, as the glass touches her lips, and tilts hard, sending the wine pouring into her mouth, the two of you having not even a second to react as you are dragged down into her maw. Once inside, you can feel the oppressive heat of her body, which would set you to sweating if you weren't already coated with wine. Passing between two teeth, you then flow over a whale like tongue, and towards the back of her mouth, plummeting over an abyss in a waterfall, that lands in a lake, you and Deasly both plunging beneath its tumultuous surface, as the world went black, and you felt, rather than heard, Octavia swallow.

The trip down is actually kind of fun, and in that weird, underwater echoy way, you can hear Deasly go WEEEE as the two of you are drawn down Octavia's throat, the walls undulating around you, creating motion that draws you up, then push you down, then drag you up, like some kind of carnival ride. The motions also forces more of the wine down your own throat with each push, and so, by the time you go spilling out of a valve in another waterfall to land amid the remains of Octavia's lunch, you are nice and drunk again yourself, completely out of sorts, and barely able to understand what was going on, as you and Deasly stood on a little bit of crust that had yet to digest all the way.

"That wash fon! Ag-hic-ain, again!" shouted Deasly, raising his forehooves and whooping a bit, getting you to laugh, until suddenly everything rumbled, and you felt a drag of air on you, trying to draw you towards the opening you'd come in through. It took a minute for you to realize that Octavia had just let out a wholly unladylike belch, that got you to laughing even harder, before you and Deasly both did the same.

"Ugh, that tasths aufol comin' bak up. I tink e'm gonna nap n-SNORE!!!-" Deasly, who had been standing, a bit unsteadily a moment ago, has his eyes close in midsentence, and then fall over flat, making you laugh, before a wave of sleep tries to wash over you, while everything gurgles and churns about you. Thinking for a moment, you know you should fight it, but it just feels so nice. A nap really would be good...a second later, the void takes you.

Mind, wake up is a bit of a misnomer. You are in the void, but rather than being formless, colorlessness that you're used to, you can feel red hot agony everywhere, and so the void wobbles and quakes with each beat of your heart. Then it shatters completely as something invades your void, and your eyes pop open to view a face you instantly recognize, and wish you didn't. Though you don't dream, somewhere, you had been hoping, against all odds, that you were in some kind of coma or something, but the feeling in your head is unmistakable as that childish face looking down at you. It's Applebloom, and you have a hangover. Mind, you doubt anyone on the network would have allowed that last fact on the show, but they were pretty clever about hiding it.

"Hey! He's awake!" she shouted, and your hands go to your head, which is pounding away, and the loud noise of a child shouting only makes it worse. Hangovers suck, that was the only thought the pain allowed in your mind, as suddenly another presence enters the room, and pushes the child back with a big red leg.

"Shush now, Bloom. He's got himself a massive hangover, what with that bottle downstairs being empty," says Big Macintosh, and you stare up at him. Luckily, you are mouse sized again. Not as good as being normal sized, mind, but better than as small as you last remember being. You find, interestingly enough, that you aren't intimidated by his presence now, probably because the pounding in your head and a fast developing rock in the pit of your stomach make it almost impossible to think about his massiveness.

"A hang-over? What's that?" asks the kid innocently, and Big Macintosh facehoofs.

"It's a thing older ponies get when they do something stupid, like drinking that golden stuff that's no good for you. Now get, I think you're friends are outside waitin," he tells her, and then pushes her with a single motion out the door, kind of kicking, kind of scooting her along, and then going to close it with a gentleness that belies his size.

"Sorry bout that, she's just a little enthusiastic. Figured I should let her in your room, since AJ ain't one you wanna be around when she's hungover," he tells you, trotting back.

"I can imagine. Now if you'd be so kind as to step on me, I'd feel obliged," you tell him, holding your head in one hand, and you stomach in the other. Mind, the askance for assistance with dying only prompts him to chuckle at you.

"Heh, you must have one heck of a bender after Ol' DC had to get you and his protege out of that music pony's belly like that. I figure you two were in a glass of that wine, right?" he asks, and you try to nod you head, but nearly fall over, being caught by his surprisingly soft hoof before you can topple over the edge of the bed.

"I figured as much. AJ shoulda known better than to get that bottle out. It was the firewhiskey I was saving for next Nightmare Night. Stuff kicks harder than a mule that's been applebucking all day," he explains, carrying you in his hoof towards the door.

"So, what happened with that? Last I remember was-ugh-being swallowed by Octavia," you explain, having to grip your head with both hands.

"And that was how DC and I found you, or rather, he found you. 'parently this ain't a rare thing with that 'prentice pony, he gets himself ate up a bit, and the Professor knew a way to find him right quick, inside Octavia, who we found sleepin' with AJ and Twi in the kitchen when we came in last night," he tells you, and you try to nod....then realize he said last night. It was now your third day in Equestria, and looking out the windows, you see morning sunlight, then wish you didn't as staring into the light only makes your head pound worse.

"You wouldn't happen to know if the Professor knows a hangover cure spell?" you ask, rubbing your eyes against the light and pain.

"I don't reckon he does, otherwise there were plenty o' times he'd ah used them after a night partin' with me," he says, as he carries you into the kitchen, to find DawnChaser awake and about, with no sign of anyone else. Looking at him, he smiles, and you try to return it, before grabbing your head again, and wishing there was something to make this hangover go away. All at once, a flash of light happens as you wish and you’re blinded by it.

You sight is dazzled for a moment, and when they clear, the pain induced haze that had been clouding your thoughts since the void broke is gone. It's not just lessened, or subdued, but out and out gone, something the surprises you, and Big Macintosh even more so, well the flash is what surprises him really, so he drops you. Well, more correctly, he stops holding you up, as yesterday, you're able to fly, this time with no faltering or wavering, but just a steady, slight up and down motion, as you grip your head, wondering just what is going on.

"What in the hay was that?" asks Big Macintosh, voicing your own question, and for once, you see DawnChaser has a serious look on his face, as he trots over to where his saddlebags are hanging on a peg, and pulls some things out of them, bringing them towards you.

"If I had to guess, my good Apple, I would say that was a spell being cast," he said, pointing something at you. Being free of the pain of a hangover, you look on with interest at the thing, which appears to be something out of a steampunk Ghostbusters, a PKE meter with tubes that whistles a bit as DawnChaser adjusts some controls while keeping the device pointed towards you.

"Tell me, what spell was it?" he asks, "I would guess one for flight, but according to the girls last night, you already had this power, it was just, limited for some reason, by the time you ran into my apprentice and I."

"Well, um, yeah, after Celestia tried to help me, I found I could fly. I think I just cured my hangover," you say, a bit more coherently than you'd spoken to Big Macintosh before, as you stop holding your head, shake it a bit to clear it, and then raise yourself up to eye level with DawnChaser.

"Really? That's fascinating. There must be a hundred variables for a spell like that. I think...you know, I wonder," he said, and started to mumble to himself as he adjusted a few more knobs on the device, and then began to pull out some books from his saddlebag. One was the Pony Book, the one with the info on everypony in Equestria, and now yourself as well, the other was something different, though the Professer wasn't sharing its contents, as he began to furiously write in both of them, three quills flying out of his pack, two writing something in the Pony Book, and the other in the other tome.

"Um, DawnChaser?" you ask, but Big Macintosh somehow grabs you with his hoof, and pulls you back, shaking his head at you.

"Won't do no good t'all to try conversatin' with him when he gets like that, believe me, ah know," said the big stallion, looking at his friend, and then turning back towards the stairs you hadn't noticed in your hungover state that you and he had walked down.

"Say, think you can do that trick again?" he asks, motioning towards the stairs. Looking back at the Professor, who doesn't seem to be inclined to move, or answer any questions anypony, or human, asks him, you nod.

"I can try, but I can't promise it will work," you tell him, and you two fly off....well, you fly, he walks, and you both vanish up the stairs, leaving the Professor to his books. When you get upstairs, you notice several doors, more than you would have expected for a four pony family like the Apples.

"I thought it was just you, Granny Smith, Applebloom, and Applejack here on the farm," you comment aloud, and it was Big Macintosh's turn to nod.

"Most ah the time, yeah, but sometimes we have family come over tah visit. It pays to have an extra room or dozen free," he answers, and you can only nod in reply. It makes sense, especially if the Apple Family Reunion is held at Sweet Apple Acres every year, or if there are just that many Apples in the world, and they can stop in at any time, as seemed to be the case.

"So, who should we try to cure the hangover of first?" you ask, looking towards the rooms. You can hear snoring, painful sounding one, behind one door, and some light breezy stuff behind another, while the other doors are silent.

"Well, mah sis is a good gal, but if this don't work, ah don't think we wanna be near her," he said, pointing his hoof towards the door with the light, airy sounding snore coming from behind it.

"And Twilight, she's liable to fry us both what good with her magic if we open that door without some way to help her," he went on, pointing this time towards the rancorous snoring door, and your eyes bulge a bit at it. Mind, you hadn't really seen the ponies asleep on the show, so you'd never heard them snore, but Twilight never made that much noise...except when she was evolving into a Rapidash when Pinkie Pie made her mad.

"So, Octavia or Deasly?" you say, and he points towards two doors nearby, neither of which have snores coming from behind them, meaning their occupants are either awake, or just don't snore. Looking at them, you wonder which to go to yourself, as Deasly was probably in a sorry state, and likely didn't want to wake up yet, while Octavia, once she was clearheaded enough to remember what she'd done, would feel like the worst pony in the world for doing that to you and him. Either one was likely to not appreciate the wakeup if this didn't work.