Trixie stood in the doorway, once again doing her flawless Magikarp impression, her mouth in that O shape once more. It made me laugh inside, it was just too funny. Moving on, I raised a bionic eyebrow before speaking.
“I’m sorry, but what’s with the hanging jaw?” I inquired sarcastically, as she composed herself, flushing in embarrassment.
“Trixie wishes to know exactly how you defeated not three, but TEN bandits.” She demanded that I tell her, being her wagon-mate. Okay, apparently we were wagon-mates now. Whatever a wagon-mate was, I had no idea.
I, being polite, replied finely “Stunned or knocked out most of them, the others scarpered. Simple pimple.” What? My manners are fine, thank you very much.
She simply stared at me for a moment, her eyes narrowing to try detect any lies. How does one exactly tell if a robot is lying though? They can make it so they betray no emotion, so it doesn’t really work, does it? Anyway, back to the present. Or past. Whatever.
“Trixie believes you for now. Anyway, we are headed for Manehatten, and will be stopping outside the outskirts, where we will walk into town and get supplies. It really is a good thing you knocked out those bandits and took their ill-gotten money. Not that Trixie needed any help, of course.” She spoke the last part rather pompously; this third person thing was really getting on my nerves. Why does she even do that?
Moving on. The wagon started to move again, bumping over the backs of one or two of the bandits. Serves them right. I sat down, and began tinkering with my Ion cannon attachment, while Trixie simply sat there and watched me. It was kinda creepy, actually. After an hour or two, she began to make herself dinner.
“So... Zero. Do you eat normal food or does Trixie have to find you scrap metal to eat?” Now that was just plain rude. I am not some sort of junkyard bot, I’ll have you know. Naturally, I replied.
“I don’t know about you, but robots like me don’t eat at all.” I deadpanned as she walked in, a small meal in her hands. She sat down and ‘harrumphed’ at my comment, not replying in any form. Rude, I tell you.
I guess now it was my turn to study what she was like. Not being creepy, it’s research. I looked over her form while her attention was on her food. Making a quick and undetectable scan, I gathered many things. She had a fair build not too skinny and not too fat. She actually had quite a bit of muscle in her midriff area, but I won’t go into any more detail about her more, uh, feminine areas. All in all, she was of average build, probably keeping fit by working in her wagon.
Speaking of work, I should ask her what her occupation was. I could do a brain scan, but that is unbecoming of a gentlebot like me.
“So Trixie, what do you do for money?” I asked rather bluntly. What? Might as well get the point out there.
Trixie had finished up her small plate of food by now, and replied boastingly “My job is that of only the finest stage performer in all of Equestria! I perform as the Great and Powerful Trixie.” Hell, she even stood up and said that, throwing her arms up after setting her plate down. Christ, what a show off. I inquired further, and she told me a tale of her travels. When she told me of the fearsome ‘Ursa Major’, I stopped her.
“Alright, I call bullshit right there. From what you told me, an Ursa Major is a highly magic resistant behemoth, right?” She nodded as I continued “Then pray tell, how did you defeat an Ursa Major, or rather vanquish one, when you couldn’t take on a group of bandits?” She stood there, ashamed as I said this, making me feel guilty. Damn this land and it’s annoyingly cute females. No, not in that way.
“Look” I spoke softly (there’s a first.) “No need to be ashamed that you can’t fight. There are many people out there who choose not to. Anyway, I guess that’s what I’m here for, right?” Damn straight I’m good at fighting.
She looked up and sniffled, wiping away any tears that might have been in her eyes before replying “I... I guess... Thanks, Zero. You’re a good friend.” Oh, so now were friends? This is new. Not only this, she starting to speak in first person as well. Where’s a party popper when you need one? I even caught her blushing a little. Ah crapbaskets, please don’t tell me she has a crush on me. I’m terrible with women.
The wagon stopped just outside of Manehatten (what a corny name) as we stepped out into the open air. The time by now (by my internal clock) was around 4:00 PM, Tuesday. Wow, it had only been two days since I got here? Huh.
“We should go into town, get some supplies and then put up some posters around town for the performance. We’ll be performing at the Manehatten Arts hall, where many performances will be taking place. Speaking of performances however, what can you do?” She asked, a fine lined eyebrow raised.
What could I do? As well as knowing most martial arts, I can play almost any instrument, and I have my own sound system which can play any song known to man. I can sing, dance and do acrobatics too. I said so to Trixie, who stared in disbelief at me. I quickly explained that, being a robot, I could hold countless amounts of memory, none of which are forgotten. She took this information, casting a small admiring glance my way. Damn, woman, stop looking at me like that! It was getting really creepy and annoying. Not to mention embarrassing.
We continued walking towards the centre of town where the hall was located, visiting certain places along the way. There was literally everything in this great bustling city; from shops to towering skyscrapers, this place had it all. Naturally, being on a test facility for my whole life made this seem a very exciting experience indeed. Trixie noticed this and giggled to herself (another first right there.)
Not far into the city, I spotted a slender dark-haired woman walking along the streets with a group of thugs right on her metaphorical tail. I noticed that they were probably going to harass her for money or something of the sort, mainly due to her fancy get-up she had on. With the heavy cello case she carried, it wouldn’t have been hard to overcome her. Of course, I guessed right as the circled her, pushing her around. Now, normally, I’d try to avoid conflict (Ha! Just kidding), but this was an innocent woman getting picked on. So I chose tactic #2 out of my tactics book; scare the living daylights out of them.
Switching into holographic ‘disguise and tricks’ mode, I morphed into a fearsome looking demon, with fake fire trickling out of my eyes. I tapped one of the goons on the shoulder and as he turned around, his eyes wide at my appearance, I roared as loudly as my audio emitters would allow in this form. Of course, they scarpered for their lives as I changed back into my normal form, Trixie running up behind me and coming to my side as I changed back into my normal default mode.
“W-who are you? W-what are you?” The woman in the fancy attire asked, her voice quivering and scared. Great, another scared person.
“You can call me Zero. I’m not from around here, although you probably wouldn’t understand what I am. All you need to know is I’m not gonna hurt you, ok?” I spoke softly to her, consoling her (you’d think I’m becoming soft round these humans.) She looked up at me with wide eyes, noting how tall I was.
“Thank you, Zero. M-my name is Octavia Philharmonica.” She had calmed down by now, and dusted herself off. “I’m friends with a Miss Vincenza Scratch. Although she prefers just to be called Vinyl. You’ve probably heard of her.” She rolled her eyes, making it clear that Vinyl was a bit of a handful as well as being quite famous.
After Trixie had introduced herself, we walked off down the street, a trio of performers in the low sunlight of Manehatten. I thought to myself with a little chuckle.
’Subject Zero, your friendly neighbourhood Robot’.