Sleepless Night, as dawn turns to morning, has
Journeyed to Ponyville searchingly.
Strength she seeks, a prophesied Element,
Never before part of Harmony.
1.
She covers without incidents
The distance to the square.
With nods for ev'ryponies' bow,
She comes at last to stare
Upon the door she thought by now
Would surely be ajar:
The library, the focal point,
The township's shining star.
But no. Instead, some signs annoint
The door, both locked and closed.
Gone camping, says the one, and then
If Cheerilee's disposed,
She'll open for the evening when
The school bell's rung at last.
Astonished, Luna stands agape,
Displeasure mounting fast.
A camping trip?! While snorts escape
Her tightened, royal snout,
Some pony calls: "Hey, princess! Hi!"
Surprised, she whirls about.
Watch yourself! Remember your dignity!
Must be the princess and in control!
Luna squints, then tries to stop squinting, and
Ends with a face like a cranky foal.
2.
Before her bounces Pinkie Pie,
Her cotton-candy scent
And gleaming teeth too sweet and bright
For Luna's temper'ment.
"Or is it you? It isn't night—"
Her eyes start from her head.
"Unless I'm dreaming and asleep!
Let's see if I'm in bed!"
She spins and trips, her sprawling leap
Impacting nose to dirt.
"Be careful!" Luna cries and flares
Her magic. "Are you hurt?!"
"Who, me?" The grin she always wears
Shines up and down the street.
"A little crashing into stuff
Just makes the day complete!"
"I'd never thought you quite so tough."
The princess rubs her chin.
"If I might share a bit of truth
And speak to you within?"
Up the street and into the bakery,
Pinkie explains, "See, the girls all took
Apple Bloom and Sweetie and Scootaloo
Camping and star-gazing down the brook."
3.
A sigh from Luna. "Yea, forsooth,
It smells to me of fate
That Laughter is the tool at hoof
To help me conquer Hate."
"Adventure?!" Pinkie shakes the roof.
"So where?! And when?! And how?!"
But Luna winces. "Please don't yell.
In fact, it's here and now."
"OK!" As clear as any bell,
It tolls from Pinkie's throat.
"And not just 'cause the rest are gone:
I'll help you stay afloat!"
Uncertain till another yawn
Reminds her she's not slept,
The princess sighs. "Then thank you, yes.
Your aid I shall accept."
She sternly points. "But not unless
You understand the risk.
We face a larger menace than
Some simple basilisk."
"'Basilisk'? Or do you mean 'cockatrice'?"
Pinkie Pie blinks, and she cocks her head.
"Monsters sure are totally int'resting:
Almost as tasty as pumpkin bread!"
4.
"Oh, no. They're not." The lengthy span
Of centuries roll back,
And Luna sees her monster clear.
"The devastating track
They cut through all you hold most dear,
You never can forget,
And list'ning to their honeyed words
Will fill you with regret.
They warble sweeter than the birds,
And while you're so beguiled,
They tear, they burn, they trample down:
Destroying, still he smiled."
"The monster?" Pinkie gives a frown.
"I'm gonna take a guess:
You're talking 'bout a pony, right?
Is that it more or less?"
"A pony monster," whispers Night,
"Bucephalus by name
Who reveled so in cruelty,
He saw it as a game."
Laughter huge, magnificent, horrible:
Groaning, his victims lay bruised and bent.
Luna stared, attracted repellently,
Driven to action but hesitant.
5.
"A game?" asks Pinkie, shrill with glee.
"I'll show him how it's done!
'Cause being mean with games is wrong,
The opposite of fun!"
"Be certain, Pinkie," Luna's strong
But quiet voice replies.
"The games he plays cause ponies pain."
"That proves it!" Pinkie cries.
"I mean, I know you hafta train
For hoofball and like that
Unless you want the kind of aches
That make you fall down flat."
She waves a shaking hoof and takes
A breath both loud and long.
"But hurting ponies purposef'lly,
I said before: that's wrong."
The words emerge so forcefully
That Luna's doubts disperse;
She plants her hoofs and spreads her wings.
"Then come! We'll break this curse!"
Fickle Time records what it wants to and
Buries the rest in the silent dark.
Night, however, seeks to illuminate,
Kindling the starlight with Laughter's spark.
6.
"All right! Let's do this!" Pinkie sings.
"Oh, wait." She bites her lip.
"I kinda hafta work today:
That's why I missed the trip."
The princess stares. "You mean to say
You must stay here and sell?!"
A laugh from Pinkie. "No, I bake."
Shouts Luna, "Very well!"
An eldritch glow begins to take
Possession of her horn,
Expands to fill the bakery
Like moonlight newly born.
"Arise!" she cries. "I summon ye,
All pastries from beyond!
DeLuxe Moon Pies, eclairs, and scones!
Enough to fill a pond!"
Explosions shake the building's bones,
And floods of goods appear
While Pinkie spins: "The greatest thing
That's ever happened here!"
From the Cakes come blessings and puzzlement,
Luna insisting she could make more.
Pinkie grabs her pack and her tambourine,
Pushes the princess right out the door.
7.
"I'd guess we're not just wandering,"
Says Pinkie Pie, her mouth
Half-full of powdered doughnut holes.
"So! North or west or south?"
"It's east, in fact." The duo strolls
Across the bridge and out
Along the road away from town.
"He had his foul redoubt—"
"His what?" An instant's shadowed frown,
Then Pinkie's face goes bright.
"You mean he had a bachelor pad?
Too cool! He sounds just right!"
The princess sputters. "Art thou mad?!
A monster, pray recall,
Was how I classified the brute!
Dost listen thou at all?!"
"I heard some fancy root-de-toot,"
Says Pinkie. "But that's far
From saying monsters aren't your thing
Like bad boys sometimes are..."
Anger flaring, Luna controls herself,
Starts to denounce him more fervently—
Stops again, her tight throat constricting and
Wedging her words up so they can't flee.
8.
"Relationships can really sting,"
Continues Pinkie's voice,
Unusual and quiet now.
"You think you've got no choice.
He's poison, yes; you can't allow
His garbage in your head.
But when he whispers sweet and low,
You cling to all he's said.
He tells you he can change, and so
You let him hang around—
Until it's your stuff he decides
To sell off by the pound!
A fling can be the best of rides,
And love is great, I guess,
But friendship's got to be a part!
That's truth: no more, no less."
She glances up, and Luna's heart,
An iceberg in her chest,
Explodes to life as Pinkie winks:
"'Cause friendship, that's the best!"
Blushes burn, transparently obvious;
How can this one little pony know
All her private secrets and shamefulness?!
Shivering, Luna prepares to go.
9.
She stretches out her wings and thinks
She'll make this trip alone,
Depart before her loss of face
Can crush her like a stone.
But Pinkie speaks: "That awful place:
I've been there more than once.
You've got to kick him to the curb
When he's a stupid dunce."
"You've been there?! But that's just absurd!"
Conflicted, Night remains.
"You're perfect innocence and joy!
You can't have known such pains!"
"You're sweet," says Pinkie, looking coy.
"I always try my best.
'Cause if you break, that means he wins.
But, hey! We're on a quest!
No mopey talk!" She leaps and spins.
"We've got a jerk to kick!"
Infectious Laughter makes her smile,
Makes Luna's tail flick.
"Yes!" she shouts. "We'll stop him and censure him,
Teach him a lesson most grim and dire!"
Magic billows; Luna grabs Pinkie Pie,
Bearing her skyward on sparkling fire.
10.
With Pinkie on her back, each mile
Proceeds till stroke of noon
At which point Luna spies ahead
The Mountains of the Moon.
"Our journey's end," she says with dread.
"And lunch time!" Pinkie adds.
"I've peanut butter, hazelnut,
Assorted goods and bads—"
Here Luna spares a glance. "You what?"
And there between her wings,
A mini-smorgasbord is set
In three concentric rings.
The baker gestures. "Come and get!
These cabbage rolls are grand!"
"But how?!" cries Luna. Pinkie blinks.
"You're right. You'd better land."
The breezes play as Luna sinks
And settles to the grass.
A grin, and Pinkie offers her
Some seltzer in a glass.
Deep within these mountains, she senses him;
Battlements looming, his traps await.
Still, she smiles and nibbles some sandwiches,
Confidence growing from small to great.