//------------------------------// // Poof Vs. Nightmare! // Story: Poof the magic monkey // by Doctah WAAwee //------------------------------// 'They first day i'm here and I have to fight a demonic horse thing that can shoot lightning...' 'Don't worry Poof, we'll just have to keep moving, jumping, and distracting her until those ponies can charge up that beam thing.' 'My name's not Poof dammit!' Lopez jumped right next to Nightmare and started to do a roundhouse kick. Nightmare moved to block it but- *Fwoosh!* Lopez jumped behind her and kicked her in the back of the head. "INSTANT TRANSMISSION ROUNDHOUSE KICK!" Screamed Pinkie while she was in the air. 'Eat your heart out Chuck Norris.' '...' Lopez was too focused in fighting Nightmare to respond to Brent's comment. Nightmare stumbled back, her magic temporarily useless because of the severe blow to the head, if she hadn't worn her helm she would be on her ass right now. Lopez tackled her to the ground and began one of the most effective moves in MMA. The ground pound. Not to be confused with Mario viciously sitting on something. Like really, if you do it from high enough his ass will light on fire. Anyway, he got a lot of hits in, Nightmare's anatomy was hindering her ability to recover from this slightly. She eventually got a fore-hoof in the right position, but Lopez in his years of fighting saw this way before Nightmare even knew she could do it. Lopez noted that after the kick to the head, she couldn't use her magic, and that her anatomy could be used to his advantage... 'Woah dude, and you told me to calm my balls, how are you planning to 'take advantage' of her anatomy, hmmm...?' 'To pound her....wait not like that.' 'Gotcha.' He got off of Nightmare and looked to the other ponies, they were in the air, the elements were beginning to shine. Nightmare, now able to use her magic again, shot a bolt of lightning at Lopez, she was so angry at him she failed to notice the elements almost ready to fire. The lightning was erratic, sloppy, and laced with anger. Due to the fact that she was still hurting from those head blows...and she's pissed. *Fwoosh* Lopez had no trouble dodging it, but the lightning was so erratic it hit one of the ponies, ever so slightly. "Eep!" Said the yellow pony. It was enough to brake formation and make the ponies look over to her. "Fluttershy! Are you alright!?" Said Rainbow. The pony now known as Fluttershy had her wing singed a bit, but overall it was okay. Lopez looked at Nightmare, anger started to build, not only because of the fact that they had to start over again, but also the fact that one of the ponies got hurt. "OH bitch it is ON!" 'Like Donkey Kong. The relentless one makes a comeback!!' 'And now I don't have to hold back!' 'Lets get ready to rumbleeeeeeeeee!' "HOLD STILL!" *Fwoosh!* Nightmares head violently got sent backwards by a kick to her chin. "THIS IS WHERE THE REAL NIGHTMARE BEGINS! TIME FOR YOUR TURN WITH ORGOTH!" "YOU HEATHEN! YOU DARE INSULT US! WE WILL USE YOUR SKULL AS A CHALICE!" Oh... this is where it gets GOOD. Get that popcorn ready. Another shot of lightning was blasted towards him, but this time he took it, because he was right in front of the ponies... This lightning didn't do that much damage for some reason...weird. Still hurt though, but not like regular electricity...huh. "Black horse blob thingy you a BITCH nigga~!" "EXCUSE US!?" *Fwoosh!* Nightmare was tackled again by the jumper...but this time- *FWOOOOSH!* "LET'S SEE IF THOSE WINGS WORK...BITCH NIGGA~!" Both Lopez AND Nightmare teleported! ...INTO THE SKY! The wind was blowing, Nightmare was rattled severely because of the jump. A kick to her gut only made it worse. "YEAHHHHHH!...BITCH NIGGA~!" *Punch* *Kick* *Punch* *Punch* *Kick* *Kick* "HAVING FUN!?" 'Everyone knows that fight type moves are super-effective on dark types.' 'LESS TALKING MORE PUNCHING!' 'How are we gonna slow down?' 'DON'T CARE! PUNCH TIME!' While they were falling towards the ground, Lopez let a barrage of punches, kicks, and other moves on her. "YA FEELING IT!? BITCH NIGGA~" It was chaos, they were flipping, punching, tearing into each other while falling from the sky, Lopez had complete control. He kicked her in the neck. *Fwoosh* He used the speed he was gaining to knee her in the face. *Punch* *Fwoosh* He jumped above her and slammed the back of his leg into her head. A very effective axe kick. Nightmare somewhat regained her bearings and opened her wings to fly, she couldn't land going at these speeds. Lopez landed on her back and tried to stab her... The knife shattered... 'What the!?' *Fwoosh!* They again were at the castle, and the elements were ready to go, but Nightmare shot ANOTHER bolt of lightning at them. Nightmare was really trying hard with the magic, those blows to the head causing her much strain when she used it. 'Spamming with the lightning, now are we?' *FWOOSH!* Lopez jumped directly into the lightning, but Nightmare was smart this time. She didn't stop shooting lightning, a continuous stream of lightning was being poured out from her horn. "WHY. DON'T. YOU. FRY!?" In that moment she stopped shooting lightning to scream at him, and the damage to her head was preventing her from using anymore magic without a huge headache. That was all Lopez needed. *Fwoosh* He jumped towards her and punched her in the face. *Fwoosh* And then a kick to her side. *Fwoosh* And then a sweep to her legs. An endless barrage of punches, kicks and knee's and palms. You could barely see Lopez he was jumping so much in such short time spans. 'Stop doing this, your straining your body too much!' 'I can do this! They need more time! I don't think that I can stall her much longer, you saw that knife shatter!? I don't know why that's not me right now, we have to keep going!' Nightmare was getting hit so many times at such short time spans she couldn't recover fast enough to mount a counter attack. Twilights eyes began to open, they were pure white, the rainbow fired off. 'There's the rainbow! We can stop now!' 'No Brent, we can't! she'll just dodge it again! We have to wait till the last possible second!' 'Her magic is gone! You hit her about 18 times in the head remember!' 'I don't know what else she got up her sleeve!' 'Ponies don't have sleeves!' 'Metaphorically speaking!' The rainbow was close. Almost there... Lopez's muscles start to bleed and cry out in pain. Almost... His knuckles started to bleed. *punch* *Kick* *Judoooooooooooooooooooooooooo...Chop!* Muscles were being torn apart. *PUNCH IN THE FACE!* It wasn't enough, the rainbow was so close, all he had to do was hold out. The constant damage from the magic lightning started to take it's toll. Nightmare tried to run from the rainbow on foot...hoof? Anyway, she tried to, but Lopez, with almost all the strength he had left, jumped on her back and jumped both him, and her back toward the rainbow. "GET OVER HERE!...YOU BITCH NIGGA~!" Nightmare couldn't escape now. *Fwoosh!* Lopez jumped out of the rainbows. He dropped on the floor and started panting, hard. Black electricity sometimes surging though his body. He was spent, but he did his part. The rainbow shot towards Nightmare and this time she didn't dodge. It started to destroy the evil inside her, all the hate and bitterness that was festering inside her for one thousand years was eliminated. It bathed her in the white purity of the elements. All of the evil inside was being purified, turning her back into what she once was. She was free of the evil that trapped and corrupted her. About damn time. "NOOOO-" "OH...SHUT UP AND TAKE IT LIKE WHATEVER THE HELL YOU ARE!" Lopez said. And after a while a smaller, less 'I'm about to rape your soul' looking winged horsey came out. 'Cute.' 'Shut up.' Lopez let out a breath. 'We...did it.' 'We did it! 'We did it! YEAH! Lo hicimos! We-' 'NO! If were gonna do a victory jingle, were NOT gonna do Goddamn Dora the Explorer!' 'Then what do you suggest?' 'I know just the one...' 'All right~.' Lopez watched as a bright light appeared inside the castle, and the sun suddenly rise for some apparent reason. When the light dissipated... Brent almost had a heart attack. She was a white horse with wings and a horn. Her hair billowed and blew in the non-existent wind. To sum her up: 'GIGGITY!' 'Calm down Brent.' 'CALM DOWN!? DO YOU EVEN SEE WHAT I AM RIGHT NOW!?' 'I do, but i'm too sore, tired, and possibly crippled to ogle her.' She walked towards the pony who just tasted the rainbow, and felt it, and molested by it, until she was pure. All of the ponies bowed to her. Lopez could only manage a two fingered salute. '...DAT ASS.' 'Brent, can you read the situation right now? She is royalty, we can't do crap, I can't jump, move, and I might have released my bowels, stop ogling, no WORSHIPING her, impressive or not, ass.' 'C'mon, look at it, SHE HAS A SUN ON HER ASS! NOT ONLY IS IT THE HOTTEST ASS IN THE LAND, EVERYTHING ORBITS AROUND IT, IT'S HUGE! IT'S THE MOST PROMINENT THING IN THE ROOM! Please bro, take a quick glance, with that photographic memory of yours, you can get every detail, every curve, every-' 'Dude, no, i'm not going to purposely stare at her ass just so you can get your rocks off. I don't care how bodacious, how plump, how curvy, or how amazing her ass is, i'm not going to-' "Oh, are you the being who helped my little ponies defeat my sister?" Lopez shook his head and looked up to see the white pony, whose ass was the main conversation piece between Lopez and Brent, her huge, expressive ass- 'No, what? DAMN IT BRENT!' Eyes were boring into Lopez's tired ones, they were filled with a warmth and love that only a mother could give her child. She just had an aura saying 'everything gonna be all right.' 'No one, no one, NO ONE~! Can get in the way of what feeling~.' 'When the sun is going do-...that was clever, I must admit...Perv.' 'You know you want that sun to go down on you.' "Sir, are you alright?" The white royal pony said. "What?" "You've been staring in space for the last two minutes after I asked you a question." She said, some concern on her face. "Oh...sorry, kinda spaced out there, yes I-" Some black electricity arched though him. He grunted. Celestia's eyes grew wide in shock. "Sorry about that, yeah, I helped stall the...whatever that thing was, so they could charge that super rainbow thing... uhhh." "The Elements of Harmony." Sunbutt- 'BRENT!' Whiter pony than the other white pony answered. "Right, thanks, Ummm, could I get your name please? It's weird to address you as 'Whiter pony than the other white pony' in my mind." She chuckled a little bit, her laughter was very soothing to hear. "Of Course, my name is Celestia, I am one of the now two princesses of Equestria, I control the sun." 'Wait, back it up now' "Wait, you control the sun? As it, fly up to it and push the sun into position everyday?" Celestia laughed. "No, SILLY! She uses magic!" Said Pinkie pie. "...Huh, well that would make more sense I suppo-" Another black arch of electricity. Another grunt of pain. "Ah! Damn it...well, Celestia, my names-" "Poof!" Said Pinkie. "...What?" "Your Poof the Magical Monkey! You play with ponies and steal there hats, only to give them to their friends, and you give candy apples to ponies too!" Brent laughing his ass off can be heard by Lopez in his head. "Ahh...Where did you...get this information exactly?" Lopez said, actually laughing a little bit because of the whole absurdity of the whole situation. He was surrounded by magical talking ponies, after he helped defeat a rouge magical talking pony princess, WITH A MAGICAL SUPER RAINBOW ENERGY BEAM, and one them was saying that HE was a mischievous magical teleporting monkey who steals the hats of other magical talking ponies and gives said hats to the friends of that magical talking pony...and gives out free candy apples on occasion. 'Take a shot for every time the word 'magical' appears.' 'No, i'd be gone.' He knew his sanity swallowed a primed pineapple grenade a long time ago, so he just went with it. "Well...you got the teleporting part right." Lopez said. "And the hat stealing part right..." Said Applejack. Lopez started laughing, but his soreness nipped that in the bud pretty quickly. "Ow, ow, ow...yeah, sorry, got bored of following you ponies, especially after that...lizard thing." Lopez shuddered. "Your gaydar went off too?" Said Rainbow. "Yeah, really badly, just..." He shuddered again. "Anyway, Applejack, at least you got your hat ba-" Another black arch of lightning. Another grunt. "That's getting annoying." He said. "Are you alright?" A quite voice in the background said. "*Sigh*...I don't know Fluttershy-" "How do you know our names?" Rainbow asked, with a hint of suspicion in her voice. "Remember? I followed you here, i'm very-" "Why were you following us here?" Rainbow asked another question, this time she came closer to his face. Celestia stopped her by surrounding Dash with a golden aura of magic. "Don't touch him!" Both Twilight and Celestia said. 'Awww...' 'Can it Brent.' Rainbow didn't argue, I was one thing for Twilight to say it, but Celestia herself? She knew her place. "I apologize Rainbow, but his body has so much electricity in it that it could, and will kill anypony it touches at this point." Lopez raised an eyebrow. "I don't feel that much in me, the only thing I am now is VERY sore...I think im bleeding." He said. "I suspect that since your...I can safely say, 'not from around here' that your body is naturally resistant to magic to some degree. I've been around for more than 5000 years, and i've never seen anything even remotely close to what you are." "By the way darling, if I may be so bold, what are you and what are those ATROCIOUS rags you are wearing?" Said the white pony. "Oh, i'm human..although some people may not think so...and as for the rags, they used to be clothes...but, lets just say that the circumstances of my arrival weren't that pleasant...I think, ummm..." "Rarity my dear. Top level fasonista of Ponyvillie." 'PFFT! Ponyvillie!? Points for creativity!' '...' "So, what were the 'circumstances' of your-" "ummm...excuse me." "-arrival?" Asked a curious Twilight. Lopez scratched his head a little bit. 'Brent?' 'Ummm...yeah?' 'Do you know what happened before we came to magical pony land?' 'What!? PFFFT! I know just as much as you do! Now about that ass-' 'Forget I asked you.' Lopez couldn't hear the sigh of relieve that Brent exhaled. "Ummm, i'm drawing a blank there Rarity, sorry." "Oh, it's nothing dear, were all a tad forgetful-" "Uummm...can I have your attention mister Poof..." "Sometimes, now dear, I simply CANNOT let you go around our fair land with those DISH RAGS on you, we must bring you to the hospital post-haste to treat your wounds and so I can work my sorcellerie on a new outfit for you." "Oh, okay, she brought my point up..." 'I know what OTHER magic you can do for me...' 'You...understood what she said, and now you like the 'high society' type?' 'Remember what I said a couple hours ago pertaining to this?' '...Yes...don't repeat it.' "Wait...I think I can stand." Lopez tries to stand up, some ponies reach out to him to try to help, but they remember that they can't touch him. "Princess, umm, if you don't mind me asking...how are we going to get him to Ponyvillie without inciting panic?" Fluttershy politely asked. The princess looked at her with that warm smile she's perfected over the centuries. "The ponies of Ponyvillie are expecting you six and me to come back, I will try my best to heal him, he should now be free of any electricity. That resistance he has i'm afraid works both ways, so healing magic won't be as effective. We will walk with him to Ponyvillie and announce that you six defeated Nightmare Moon, and even shown her the value of love and friendship , and that without this 'human' I believe, that you would have never been able to defeat her." Celestia explained. She went up to Lopez, used a scanning spell to see how much electricity there is inside him, and exactly HOW resistant he is to magic. 'Hmmm...interesting.' She thought to herself. "Excuse me...Poof?" Celestia asked. Lopez shook his head. "My real name is not Poof, it is Shawn, Shawn Lopez." Pinkie gave him the puppy dog eyes. 'Wow...those eyes...they're so...expressive.' 'Can't resist, so cute.' 'IT'S SUPER EFFECTIVE!' "But you can call me...Poof, if you want." Pinkie jumped in joy. But then she gasped, and slammed her hoof into her face. "I can't believe I forgot!" "Ummm...what?" Lopez asked. "A PARTY! I have to throw Poof a 'Welcome to Equestria thank you for helping us defeat Nightmare Moon' party! Oh it will be funaroony! There will be balloons, streamers, and candy apples! Because I KNOW how much you love those Poofy!" 'Poofy? I'm here less than a day and i'm already getting pet names.' 'Let's hope that not ALL your getting.' 'No Brent, not the time.' 'So, there is a pony plowing time?' 'Perv.' 'I know you want to feed Pinkie your king size snickers bar, imagine with all the candy she must eat how good she is with her mou-.' 'NOT THE TIME! LALALALALALA NOT LISTENING LALALALALA!' "...Okay...but how are we going to get to this 'Ponyvillie'?" 'PFFT!' 'Very mature.' Celestia recounted the plan with Lopez. "Okay Lopez, i'm going to try some healing magic with ou-" Celestia felt a tap on her shoulder. "Umm, Sister?" Celestia smiled and looked back to see her sister, she looked much younger now due to being released from the clutches of her own hate. "Can we help you...He's hurt because of us and...we just want to help in anyway we can." Luna said. 'Not as hot as her sister, but she's a looker to.' 'Must you always do that?' "Okay, my dear sister." "Well, give me all ya got then, I'm ready." Said Lopez. They both faced him and their horns started glowing. Lopez started glowing,he closed his eyes. The room got really bright. Both Celestia and Luna were working on the assumption that he had an extreme resistance to magic. After a minute of this, they stopped. They were both sweaty because of the amount of magic that they used to heal the injured human. The rooms brightness died down, the sun was shining in the air, where it was supposed to be. Lopez was still on the ground. "Ummm...are you alright?" Fluttershy asked. Lopez laid there for a second. A small smile was made on his before before he suddenly flipped upright. "ALRIGHT!? I FEEL AMAZING!" He screamed in joy. To prove his point he did a back flip right then and there. "I haven't felt this good in years!" He looked at Luna. *Fwoosh!* He was suddenly right in front of her, before she could react he gave her the most crushing bear hug of crushing bear hugs. "Thank you, thank you thank you!...I should probably stopped hugging you right now but thank you!" He let go to meet a blushing Luna. "Ummm, tis no trouble our friend-" Luna froze...she just called him 'friend'...her first friend in over 1000 years...and it's an alien. "Well, for the millionth time, thank you, anything you want, you name it, I'll do it, least I can do for a friend." Luna was at the point of tears, she couldn'r believe that this boy, who SHE hurt, who SHE so brutally insulted, just called her a friend after doing something that only erased the damage SHE had caused. She couldn't take it anymore. "Luna? What's the mat- OOF!" Lopez was surprised by a very powerful hug from Luna, she was crying into his chest. Lopez was confused, but he returned the hug, this only made Luna dig deeper into the hug, and cry even harder. "Luna, I know I've only known you for a couple minutes, but what's wrong, why are you crying?" Celestia was moved so much that tears were building up in her rose colored eyes. It warmed her heart that Luna made a friend so quickly, and bonus points for an ALIEN being it! 'Let's hope her hug session doesn't gore you through the chest.' 'Oh shut up Brent, were having a moment here.' Celestia went up to them to say something probably yoda-like in wisdom, about how friendship can even make bonds between aliens and such. "Don't think your getting out of this Celestia!" But Lopez had other plans. Lopez grabbed her and made her part of the ever growing hug. She was shocked for a second before she just went with it. Luna felt another presence in close proximity, she took her head off of Lopez's chest to see her sister there, she extended a fore hoof and wrapped it around Celestia. "Thank you...for bringing us back...we're so sorry sister, the words that leave our mouth cannot even hope to express how glad we are..." Luna said. She looked up to Lopez. 'Her eye's...Lopez, as a man, right now it is your duty to make her stop crying.' 'I'll do my best' 'Plus a girl crying makes Mr.Happy not so happy.' 'Not needed.' "I'm so sorry that I hu-" Lopez stopped her. "Luna, I don't know what happened that made you like that, but all I know is that you, yes YOU, not that thing that corrupted you, is here, and she needs comfort. In my world there is a book, and in that book is a man named 'Hosea', his wife was always unfaithful to him, always courting other men because of their money...but he kept on loving her." He had Luna's complete attention, as well as all the other ponies in the room. "Why did he stay with her you wonder? Two words...selfless love." Luna's deep teal eye's were boring into his nigger chocolate one's... 'Nigger chocolate!? What the hell Brent!?' 'Sorry, couldn't resist.' "What your sister and these ponies have for you is just that Luna, they're love isn't dependent on another. Your back with them...and that's all that matters." 'Keep talking like that and you'll be plowing her full moon in no time.' 'Dude, moment here.' Luna just smiled and sniffled a little bit before going back in the hug. "That was beautiful Shawn." Celestia said some tears flowing down her beautiful face. "Awwww." Pinkie said. "There's room for more." Said lopez. "YAY!" Pinkie didn't waste time, she jumped right in and SOMEHOW stretched her forelegs so that she wrapped them all in a hug. "Come on girls! Don't be shy!" Said the living incarnation of cocaine. 'Brent...' Said Pinkie Pie. All the girls one by one came in for the hug. First Twilight, then Applejack, then Rarity, then Fluttershy, who adorably asked permission to hug Lopez's back. "Come on over ere Dash!" Said Applejack. "*Sigh* Alright!" She smiled and flew over to the group getting the side of Lopez's back. 'Looks like someone forgot to turn off their swag.' 'I'll take that as a complement.' 'Now if only we could on the 'why' their all hugging you...' 'Your just jelly that you don't have this much swag.' 'Ohhh, comeback! I've taught you well.' After about two minutes of epic hug time, they broke it off. "Alrighty then, lets head back to Ponyvillie-" 'PFFT!' 'Really? Stop that, you've had your laugh.' 'C'mon 'Ponyvillie'!? It's like renaming Worcester 'Humantown', or 'Peopleburg'!' "And introduce you to everypony Poof!" Said Pinkie. They six ponies, two princesses, and one human started walking back to Ponyvillie. Celestia told Lopez that maybe some other day she can personally tell him the story of her sister. Said human was bouncing around and looking everywhere with a smile on his face. His peppy attitude was unexpected due to the amount of damage he recently acquired. He and Pinkie were actually having a very...interesting conversation after they found a fruit. "Princess, why is he so...healthy?" Asked Twilight. "Well, as it turns out, when I did my scan of his body, He only showed an extreme resistance to offensive type magic, but most of all, electricity, if Nightmare Moon used fire type magic, then he would probably be much more harmed then what we healed...of course I wanted to confirm this by using as much healing magic as I could." "So, what can we be expecting of him for the time being?" Celestia chuckled. "Healing magic, when somepony has too much of it, acts like a sugar high. Today, he will be happy, giddy bouncy, like Pinkie pie over there...but not even close." Twilight nodded. "Okay, if it's alright princess, can he stay with me, I have SO many questions! A new species! That can use teleport WITHOUT using magic! This is the find of the century!" She squeed in delight. "Remember Twilight, this isn't just some 'find', he is your friend, and soon to be a resident of Ponyvillie." Lopez smacked his head for some reason. "...I would like you to help him adjust to life in Ponyvillie...I think there might be something wrong with him on a deeper level, I don't know, something about how he's just taking this in stride...and the multiple times he's spaced out, like he's preoccupied with something. " "Wait...your letting me stay in Ponyvillie!? How did you know I wanted to-" "Call it a teachers intuition Twilight." She interrupted. Twilight hugged her mentor and friend, she gladly returned it. "So, what are your thoughts about him?" "He said he followed us, so maybe he had time to get used to seeing ponies...though I don't think that would be enough to actually prank us the way he did..." Celestia grew interested, especially when the word 'prank' is involved. "What did he do?" "He took Applejack's hat and put on Rainbow Dash, We didn't see him take it, or put it on Dash, that's when Pinkie made up the name 'Poof the Magical Monkey'." Twilight started laughing a little bit, recalling the memory. "Speaking of Pinkie and 'Poof'." Celestia said. Yeah, speaking of them... "Mango!" Said Lopez. "Manego!" Countered Pinkie. "This!" He pointed to a mango that he found in the forest, how is a tropical fruit growing in a forest like this? "Is a mango! MAN-GO!" "Nuh uh! It's CALLED a MANEGO, Silly!" Said Pinkie. "Alright, say man." "Man!" "Now say go!" "Go!" "Now say Mango." "Mango!" "Good, good...now." He pointed to the fruit in his hand. "What is this?" "It's a Manego!" "NGFFFFFF- you know what? I'm just going to eat this." "No, wait! Your suppose to peel off the-" He bit into it. "Skin...Uh oh." "What? This is how we-" ... ... ____________________________________________________________________________________ ************************************************************************************ Pinkie couldn't help herself, she was currently on the floor, laughing her pink rump off. Lopez was hallucinating because of the skin of the Manego fruit. Thinking back she could have warned him sooner but the past is the pa- "MANGO! MANGO! MANGO, MANGO, MANGO! MAGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~." Lopez was bouncing, singing, and teleporting everywhere! "MANGO! MANGO! MANGO, MANGO, MANGO!" *Fwoosh* He teleported on Dash's back while holding a stick, like a sword. "ARG! A PIRATE IS AFTER MY BOOTY!" *Fwoosh* He jumped off of Dash's back and into a tree. "MANGO! MANGO! MANGO, MANGO, MANGO! MAGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~. MANGO! MANGO! MANGO, MANGO, MANGO!" *Fwoosh* He teleports on Applejacks back this time. "HERE COMES THE POPE HE'S BEEN BLESSING SOME APPLES!" *Fwoosh* Lopez teleports off of Applejack...with her hat. "CONSARN IT!" His final act of hallucinogenic fun was when he teleported on CELESTIA HERSELF and began bouncing on her back singing! "HE IS THE MANGO, HE IS THE MANGO, HE'S THE MANGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO~! , HERE IS THE MANGO, HERE IS THE MANGO. HE'S THE MANGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" He was riding her with Applejacks hat on his head, he repeated the ENTIRE song again on her back. All while dancing, flailing his arms, doing 'the wave', you name it he was doing it on Celestia's back. Celestia didn't try to get him off, she was so shocked she just sat there. Luna couldn't help but laugh at her sisters expense. After his bit of fun he dropped off Celestia, completely asleep, Applejack had to carry him halfway though the trek back to Ponyville before he woke up. ____________________________________________________________________________________ ************************************************************************************ "Ohhh...what happened?" He started coming to. "You ate the skin of the manego fruit, which looks almost exactly like a regular mango, but it's skin contains a hallucinogen that cause's...interesting results, most ponies just see flying mango's...but you..." Twilight stopped there. "Went absolutely off the wall bonkers and started singing, dancing, and prancing like a drunk unicorn." Rainbow completed Twilight's recap of the situation. "And ya stole mah hat again." Applejack said. 'That was the funnest trip i've ever experienced Lopez, 10 out of 10 bro.' 'What exactly did I do?' 'Oh i'll let them recap the whole thing for ya.' "What...did I do?" "You started bouncing and randomly teleporting while singing 'Mango'" Started Twilight. "You poofed on my back and said something about pirates." Dash continued. "You poofed into a tree and started singing again, not bad singing either!" Pinkie chained off Dash. "You went on mah back an started spewing nonsense about this 'pope' pony blessing some apple's...and ya stole mah hat...again." Said Applejack. "And then you had the absolute GALL to go onto the PRINCESSES back and ride her like you were some sort of uncouth rodeo pony!...no offense Applejack." Said Rarity. Brent was, again, laughing his ass off. "Ohhh...my bad. Sorry for...mounting you guys." 'I wouldn't be sorry for 'mounting' them.' 'Well that's you.' "No worries Shawn, actually, your little...episode confirmed a suspicion of mine." Celestia said. The group turned to her. "Shawn, your body has an extreme resistance to offensive type magic, and electricity....but it is extremely susceptible to drugs, and other chemicals due to your different immune system...it's going to take awhile for your body to adapt to equestrian foods and other things, but after a while you won't notice it." "Notice what?" "You'll see." "Look! We're almost there!" Exclaimed Pinkie. The town was coming into view, ponies were crowding the streets, cheering because of the arrival of the sun. When the group came into view, they all froze and became silent in record time. Shock, curiosity, and some looks of fear came there way as they laid their eyes on Lopez for the first time. When the group came close enough, some ponies started to move away. Celestia and Luna faced the crowd of confused ponies. Two fillies went to put a ring of flowers on Luna, who was quite the whole trip back. 'Looks like she got...'leid'' 'Cheesy.' When the two fillies saw Lopez, they're cute not-so-little eyes widened, and they slowly flew towards him. "What...are you mister?" They asked. "Oh me? I'm-" "Poof!" Interrupted Pinkie. The fillies turned to her. "Poof?" "Yes! HEY EVERYPONY!" The ponies of the town looked over to Pinkie, she bounced towards Lopez and pointed to him. "This right here is Poof the Mischievous Magical Monkey!" 'My name gets longer every time she says it...' 'That's not the only thing that gets longer.' 'Oh ha ha.' "Listen up! He gives away candy apples to good little fillies and colts! He goes 'poof!' and then you can't see him anymore, because he's gone! And when he gets a little pranky, or somepony's been a bad little pony, he takes away their hats and gives them to their friends! He helped us turn Nightmare Moon back into Princess Luna, and he gives REALLY good hugs!" '...Well that's one way to introduce an alien.' 'Who is this girl's dealer? Does he infuse his cocaine with Red Bull and sugar? I want some of THAT shit.' The townsfolk looked at him, the 'colts and fillies' looking at him with awe, and some actually moving closer to him to get a better look. The looks of fear on some of the ponies faces were gone completely. They had a look of happiness and good will now. Some looks of shock where still there, it's gonna take a while to get used to everything. 'One little sentence is all it took?' 'Now imagine how easy it will be to get some pony pu-' "Hey...Mister Poof?" "Huh?" Lopez got knocked out of that rather inappropriate comment from Brent. It was a little filly, she had a nice yellow coat, red hair,a giant cute little bow in said hair, and HUGE orange eyes. To sum her up: 'AWWWWWWWWWWWW! She's so cute!' '...Her eyes take up more than half her face...and I completely agree with you Brent.' "Yes, ummm..." "Applebloom." 'Even her name is adorable!' 'Yes, Brent, she's heart-stoppingly adorable. I get it.' "Applebloom, what a nice name, what is it?" "Is what Pinkie said true? That your ah magical monkey that goes 'poof' and gives candy apples tah good little fillies and colts? Cus' ah've been doing all a mah homework and ah've been really good this week! Ah've done all mah chore's on time and didn't slack!" She said, those HUGE eyes boring into him, Lopez thought she was gonna shoot a death ray at him with how big her eyes got. '...I think my heart just stopped.' 'This filly will be the death of me.' "Pinkie likes to paraphrase." "Parawhat?" She tilts her head in confusion. 'ARGH! I can't take anymore of this!' 'How can she almost incite a heart attack with just a head tilt!?' "She likes to say things in her own words." "Isn't she already saying things in her own words?" "Well she likes to summarize things in her own way." "So...is it true?" 'Were at an impasse bro, choose your next words wisely.' "Hmmm..." *Fwoosh* Lopez was gone. Applebloom stood there in shock, he was RIGHT there a second ago, where did he go? ____________________________________________________________________________________ ************************************************************************************ Pinkie was watching in joy as Twilight had just received permission to live in Ponyvillie to study friendship. When suddenly. "Hey, Pinkie." Said a voice from behind her. She looked back, it was Poofy! "Hi Poofy! What can I do you for?" "I need a candy apple, fast." Pinkie reached into her mane and pulled out a delicious looking candy apple from her mane. "Here ya go, make those colts and fillies smile!" 'DAFUQ?' 'I-...I'm just going to roll with it.' "...Thanks." "Your welcome!" *Fwoosh* ____________________________________________________________________________________ ************************************************************************************ He suddenly reappeared in front of the shocked little filly with a candy apple. "I don't know..." Lopez said. He held the candy apple in front of Applebloom, who gladly took it. "Is it?" He asked. Applebloom vigorously nodded her head, mouth already filled with candy apple. He laughed. "You enjoy that." He heard a voice calling him from the crowd got his attention. "See you later Applebloom, it's been fun." *Fwoosh* ____________________________________________________________________________________ ************************************************************************************ "And now that Twilight will be staying here with the residents of Ponyvillie, I would like for you to meet another new resident of this fine town." Celestia looked over to see Lopez bending down and giving a filly a very good looking candy apple. "You may know him as 'Poof'" He turned around when he heard his nickname. *Fwoosh* Suddenly he was right next to Celestia. Some of the ponies in the crowd eye's grew wide. Some murmurs from the crowd were heard. 'So it is true...' 'Did you see him giving Applebloom a candy apple?' 'Awww! I just bought this hat yesterday!' "He will also be living in Ponyvillie, and I hope that you can show him the love, kindness, and tolerance that Equestria is known for, he will be living with Twilight Sparkle for the discernible future." All the ponies cheered in glee. Celestia and Luna departed towards a castle on a mountainside. 'Gonna have to visit that place...' 'Wanna have some more 'hug time' with Luna?' 'No...just wanna see the sights you know?' 'Don't worry I know exactly what you mean.*Cough* Celestia's ass *cough*' 'What?' 'Nothing.' "Now, Ponyvillie, Who's up for a PARTY!" Pinkie screamed. The town erupted into cheer's again. 'Wait, wait, wait, wait...so your gonna be the 'magical mischievous monkey that gives candy to good little ponies and takes the hats off bad ones, or when you feel like it'?' 'Apparently' 'Do you realize how SKETCHY that sounds? Your ass would be IN JAIL if we were back on earth, and you would get some glances if you gave a little girl a candy apple in public.' 'Hey I didn't come up with it! And the quicker these ponies get used to me, the better. Now, let's go party.' 'Alright bro, lets do this!'