//------------------------------// // Something Witty // Story: Gears in the Void // by Lab //------------------------------// The sound of hoofsteps echoed through the halls, and every tunnel looked the same as the last. No rhyme or reason governed their direction, and I often found myself at the same cavern I had just left, frustrated. It even took me ages to find a diamond dog, who I sheepishly asked for directions. He laughed and pointed to a tunnel just to my left, from which drifted the faintest hint of fresh air. I asked him to tell the rest of the pack I was headed out, and I was off once more. My eyes were quick to adjust as I wandered out of the caves and tried to find the sun. While the day was still ongoing, the sun had recently ducked behind the mountain, casting a long shadow. Outside of the caves, it was easier to get my bearings, so only a brief hike me from my cart, and I made a mental note to see if it was possible for the pack to dig a new tunnel. Sure, there were other spots I could have set up camp, but I liked that barren patch with the now-broken tree. My hurrying only caused bumbling, but I couldn’t help trying to get it done as quickly as possible—I didn’t want to get stuck outside in the eerie night once again. In my haste, I used the wrong side of the accelerator and only succeeded in embarrassing myself. Pulling the goggles away a bit further than necessary, I winced when they smacked me in the face. That would leave a mark. After almost toppling the vehicle when it caught some air, I reluctantly slowed down, though the speed was now less out of feeling late and more out of enjoying my recklessness. Singing ponies scattered as my cart rolled into town, shooting me an angry glare for interrupting their musical number. I took the back roads, hoping I hadn’t lost my mental map of the town, and was relieved when the Golden Oaks Library loomed ahead of me, doing what trees do best: boring tree things. My cart slid to a stop more dramatically than last time, cutting short marks into the well-maintained lawn. “Now that has to be a record!” I cheered, pushing my goggles back up with a with a grey hoof. Pegasus goggles or not, they worked wonders for hurtling down dusty roads, and the scant few splattered gnats on them further testified their utility. Also, goggle, goggle, goggle. Spike answered the door cautiously after the excited beating I gave it and was unsure if he should relax when he saw it was me. “Sterling Gears, right?” I nodded at the dragon, stepping past him as he moved aside. “Twilight asked me to tell you she won’t be present for more research on your work tonight. She got called off to the Crystal Empire with the rest of the girls. By the way, dig the swell goggles.” “You said that yesterday.” I chuckled at the expression Spike made as he tried to recall that tidbit. “So that’s why Pinkie had to go,” I muttered. “Did they bring the elements with them?” “Why do you ask?” the dragon’s slitted eyes narrowed, his tone growing wary. I rolled my eyes and replied, “Duh, because I want to know if there’s something I should be preparing to blow up.” Doubled over laughing, Spike replied, “Right right, forgot who I was talking to for a moment.” He wiped a tear from his eye as he finished and shrugged. “No need to worry though, they always take them with if it’s royal business, whether there’s a new bad guy or not.” “I think I’ll prepare anyways. Getting antsy because it’s been too long since I last blew something up.” “If I correctly overheard you and Twilight talking, hasn’t it only been a day or so?” “Like I said, too long.” I smirked. “You might be crazier than Pinkie. Different kind of crazy at any rate. She’s socially crazy, but meeting other ponies doesn’t seem to be high on your list.” His stomach rumbled loudly and he blushed. “Sorry, was about to make myself dinner. Can I make you a daisy sandwich?” “Knock yourself out. I’ll bring you a gem next time I visit if you tell me what kind you want.” Spike mulled it over. “I have had a hankering for topazes lately, but I can’t find any in town and Rarity’s fresh out. Are you good enough with that pick that you can dig one up or something?” “Or I’ll just see if the diamond dogs can find one for me.” He snorted. “Yeah, good luck with that one. They have a pretty strict ‘No Trespassing’ policy. It’s a bummer too, the gems there are so tasty. I’ve tangled with them before though, so I could give you a few pointers if you want.” “I thought Pinkie would have mentioned that me and her are in charge of the pack now.” You could hear the sound of Spike’s jaw hitting the wooden floor. After an awkward silence, his words were little more than a whisper. “What?” “Yeah, it was awesome. I was chatting with Pinkie and they showed up to kick us out. I wasn’t really in the mood for their shenanigans and they refused to acknowledge that I had called dibs on that spot. The nerve. Anywho, there was a little brawl and Pinkie blasted the leader through my tree while I took on the rest of the pack. Except that little runty one of course. Eager to please, that guy, but quite the coward.” ”They were also unarmed, trying to drive you off rather than kill you, and terrible at fighting.” Try as he might, Dave wasn’t going to take that victory away from me. Spike still hadn’t recovered from his shock, and he asked, “What?” I sighed. “What do you mean what? That’s what happened.” “But how?” he asked. “You took on a diamond dog pack and won. And how did Pinkie blast him through your tree? And when did you get a tree?” “When I called dibs, of course.” “And Pinkie?” “Party cannon.” I laughed. "You should have seen how fast he went." He faceclawed—they were close to hands, but not close enough—and muttered, “Of course. But why did they put you in charge? You’re a pony.” “Since when?” My feigned surprise earned a chuckle. “And Pinkie’s the one who is really in charge. She replaced the alpha, and I took out the second-in-command.” He shook his head in exasperation and sighed. “I’m going to go get you the books you were reading yesterday and then I’ll get cooking. I need to process what you just told me.” “Thanks, dude. Mind if you toss in a chemistry book this time as well?” “Chemistry?” Spike scratched his head in befuddlement. “Er, alchemy? I guess Zebrican magic might also cover it, but I’ll understand if I have to pay Zecora a visit for that one.” “We have alchemy for sure. I don’t think we have much for that other one though. Twilight told me once that zebras prefer to pass on knowledge by mouth instead of by book. Or maybe that was griffons. Minotaurs?” He trailed off, tapping a claw against his chin as he stared vacantly into the distance. “Don’t worry about it. I’ve been looking forward to having her bust out some sick rhymes.” “...Right. I’ll get moving now.” “No chemistry?” Dave snorted, “What a bunch of luddites. Well, unless alchemy is far more significant here, but by our definition, it refers to paradoxical results.” “Yeah yeah.” “Did you say something?” Spike called, peeking his head out from the stacks. “Nothing special. Just talking to myself.” I could hear the tiny dragon’s baffled grumbling as he resumed his search. As it turned out, equestrian alchemy was a highly developed science involving all sorts of mixtures and their results. Dave felt the need to point out the lack of knowledge on the composition of the various items described, and he scowled at me when I rolled my eyes and told him to shut it. “Ah, here we go,” I said excitedly, pointing at a recipe made of simple minerals. “I knew one of these had to have something that exploded.” “You and your explosions.” Dave frowned. “You could do something constructive for once.” “I’m constructing destructive things. The description doesn’t say much about it, except that the result is fairly weak. I’ll have to improve it a bit. And by a bit, I mean a lot. Maybe I can grind up some thaumite and see what happens.” “Because separating it from that iron worked so well.” “Exactly!” Beaming, I continued skimming the book. Some of the things might have practical applications somewhere, but I didn’t have the patience for creating many of the things described. I called out, “Hey Spike, you have any idea where I could learn what thaumite is made of?” The sound of rattling pots and pans echoed through the library. “Ponyfeathers!” He poked his blushing face out of the kitchen. “Please don’t tell Twi I said that.” ”What kind of expletive is that?” “Make a batch of cookies for us to share and you have a deal.” He suavely inspected his claws. “You drive a hard bargain. I’ll see what I can do. No gemstones in yours, I take it?” “Not this time. And the thaumite?” “Check the geology books. One of them has a great metallurgy section if I remember correctly.” A quick check of the tables of contents led me to the appropriate chapter, and the pages quickly flipped by in my search for any mention of thaumite. “Don’t you need to charge it with magic for it to be of any good?” Dave asked, intensely reading over my shoulder. “Right. I guess I could ask around town. No idea how hard it is to charge the stuff. Maybe Metalhead would do it if I paid him. All I have to do is figure out how to get the uncharged stuff.” Thaumite didn’t have much of a description compared to the other entries in the book. All I found was a few lines stating the process to create it was incredibly strenuous and required extreme heats. “Looks like it’s refined bauxite and wolf ore. What the hay is that?” I muttered, tapping the book with a hoof. “You can say hell—you’re not going to offend me. The first one is probably talking about aluminium, see if the second one is mentioned elsewhere.” “You wouldn’t understand, it’s a pony thing, I think. Way ahead of you on looking for wolf ore though.” “It is not a pony thing, you’re just a nutcase who watches that show too much.” “It’s a good show!” “But there are other ones.” “I’m sorry, I didn’t realize I ended up on a world other than the one filled with ponies.” Rolling my eyes, I almost missed the entry I had been looking for. “Found it. Now stop being such an asshat.” “Just tell me what it says.” “Blah blah blah impossible to melt without magic. Blah blah blah found near quartz. And it’s apparently really heavy to boot.” I read, instinctively skipping over the history. I’d had enough of a history lesson that day, thank you very much. Dave groaned loudly, tilting his head back and barely catching his hat. “Tungsten. How can ponies smelt tungsten?” “How do you come up with tungsten from something called wolf’s ore.” “Maybe if you ever read the books you opened, you’d know. It matches the description and tungsten was originally called wolframite. How do they make an alloy of that and aluminium?” “That might be a bit of a stretch, and if I’m saying it, it really must be. But, Fido did mention aluminium, so if we can find some of this stuff and figure out a way to smelt it, I’ll have a steady source of thaumite. If it takes so much heat, we might have to find a different method than dumping lava on it.” “I have no idea how you can hold a conversation with yourself.” Spike sighed as he put a tray of cookies on the table. They were plainly divided into two piles: one of chocolate chips and the other of ruby chips. “This is our secret too. Twilight would kill me if she knew I ate this many at once.” “I remember growing up, don’t worry. What does a ruby taste like anyway?” “Oh, these aren’t rubies, they’re spinels. Rubies don’t taste so good if they’re baked in anything with sugar.” Chowing down on the incredibly delicious cookies, I sprayed crumbs everywhere as I spoke. “These are awesome, thanks. Where did you learn how to cook stuff with gems in it anyways? I don’t suspect there to be much of a market for it.” A dragon had just made cookies for me. Life was good. “You and Twilight aren’t the only ones who do experiments around here.” Spike grinned proudly. “I wouldn’t mind finding a cookbook, but I’m the only lithovore around.” His tone saddened as he finished the sentence. “Actually, the diamond dogs share your diet. Maybe you could trade some recipes with them.” “We didn’t exactly meet on the best of terms.” Spike chuckled nervously. “They’re nice enough once you get to know them. Not to excuse what they might have done, but most of them aren’t so keen on coming up with their own opinions. At least that’s what I’ve gathered.” “Still, I don’t know. They were awfully mean to Rarity.” “Come on, where’s your sense of adventure. I’m not asking you to come alone if you don’t want to. You can bring Twilight if you’d like. She could pretend it’s a diplomatic thing.” “You demonstrated your idea of diplomacy earlier.” Dave pawed at the cookies, wincing as he realized he couldn’t eat them. He sighed, “I guess Pinkie can’t make every dessert.” Spike’s shoulders slumped. “I’ll talk to her, but I’m not promising anything.” “The fire-breathing dragon is terrified of a bunch of mutts. A bunch of mutts that you took down almost entirely on your own.” Dave frowned and hung his head. “I’ll never understand this place.” An owl fluttered down from upstairs and perched on a wooden stand tailored for him. He tilted his head and stared at me, hooting softly. “And a good evening to you as well, Owloysius.” A quick glance out the window showed an inky night had fallen. I knew I wasn’t in there that long. The sun was barely gone when I’d arrived. “Already awake, buddy?” Spike followed my gaze and added, “I didn’t realize it was that late already. No wonder I’m so tired.” “It got dark awfully fast, didn’t it?” “Maybe you were just in here for that long. I should really get to bed though, and Owloysius hasn’t passed Twilight’s librarian course yet, so...” Another yawn stretched his jaw. “I don’t think I’m getting what you’re hinting at.” Closing the books, I giggled and stuffed one last cookie in my mouth. “Thanks for making the cookies though.” “I wasn’t kidding about being tired, it’s been interesting whenever you’ve shown up, so it’s not like I specifically want you gone. Take the rest of the cookies though, I don’t want to throw them away and risk Twilight finding out.” He noticed I’d only taken the chocolate ones and coughed to get my attention. “These too. My eyes are bigger than my stomach. Just give them to the diamond dogs or something.” Finding room for the treats was difficult with how full of junk my saddlebags were, but I managed to make room in a side pouch. I thanked Spike and bid the two of them farewell before leaving. “It doesn’t feel that late.” My coat barely stopped the biting cold. “A lot colder than last night too. That’s a bit too much of an omen, in my opinion.” “What’s your plan then?” “Well, it’s kind of late and I’m cold. So I’m going to find booze.” With a smile, I pantomimed drinking from a bottle. Dave chuckled and dug a finger in his ear. “That’s no surprise. I meant in general. What are you going to do about the imminent doom?” Only a few stars shone overhead, and even those were little more than flecks. “Drink booze, prepare for zombies, find tungsten, make thaumite, charge thaumite, prepare for zombies, blow stuff up, make epic things out of thaumite, and lastly, prepare for zombies.” “Equestria is not going to get attacked by zombies,” Dave mumbled through the palm pressed against his face. “That’s what they all say. Like I said before, it won’t be so crazy if I’m ready for it.” I growled through gritted teeth. “I lost everyone and everything before. I’m not going to let it happen here.” “Now you got me depressed. Let’s get you drunk so I can be drunk vicariously.”