((Prompt: And now, a public service announcement.))
We join our friend Pinkie Pie on a typical, sunny Ponyville day.
“Hi! How's it going?”
See her carefree gait as she greets ponies about town. Listen to the song she hums as she bounds along.
“La, la la la la, la-la la, la-la la...”
She sure seems happy, doesn't she?
“Gosh, I sure do seem happy!”
Looking at her, you would never guess...
“Ooh! Oh! Let me guess! Lemme guess! Am I secretly a robot? An alien! A robot alien?”
...You would never guess that beneath that cheery facade, Pinkie Pie was suffering from angst.
“Wow, you're right, I never would have guessed that! Okay, what am I angsting about?”
You see, Pinkie Pie has always been in love with her friend, Twilight Sparkle.
“Well duh! I mean, who wouldn't be in love with her? She's super-cute, and really really smart, and she has a great singing voice, and...”
But before Pinkie could confess her undying affection to her friend, Twilight got together with Applejack instead.
“Whoo-hoo! Atta girl, Twilight! Oh gosh, this calls for a party! I'm gonna need all the purple and orange frosting I can get my hooves on!”
Pinkie Pie is inconsolably broken up about it.
“Are you kidding? This is like the bestest news I've heard all day! Not only am I in love with Twilight, but Applejack is, too? Can you say 'threesome?'”
Absolutely inconsolable.
“I wonder if Dashie wants in on this, too? It could be a whole pony-pile!”
Also, a speeding cart ran over her hoof.
“Owie!”
See those tears? Inconsolable.
“Maybe I can get Twilight or Applejack to kiss it better for me.”
But don't worry. There's help. If you think you or somepony you know is suffering from angst, have them call the Angst Hotline. We're here to help get you through your most trying times.
“Hello, Angst Hotline? Somepony ran over my hoof and it hurts. Also, apparently I'm supposed to be sad or something about wanting to smooch Twilight? I'm not really sure on that one... Oh, hang on, I've got a call on the other line!”
“Hello, Angst Hotline, this is Pinkie speaking! How can I help you? Oh gosh, your poor hoof! This calls for a get-well party! We can invite Twilight and Applejack, and Rarity, and Fluttershy, and Dashie, and they can all kiss it better! It'll be great!”