//------------------------------// // Chapter 1 // Story: Escapades & Equines // by ROTHY //------------------------------// Chapter 1 “Meeting new people always makes me hungry.” C. Fhtagn “Total slaughter, Total slaughters I won’t leave a single man alive. La de dies genocide, la de die an ocean of blood.” This truly official song rang out through the small field. Along the edge of the ceiling under an old oak tree next to a cook fire were three figures, two of the three were moving, the other one was just standing there unmoving. One would think it was a statue were it not for the sickly blue gray skin barely visible under the thick wool hood. The first of the two mobile figures were a young looking man dress a dirt black robe with glints of silver trim, second was canine also funnily “dressed” in a similar color cloak and color and a classy black spike. “Well it’s not that bad…” the man laughed inwardly, “Okay, it’s pretty bad. What do you want from me, I like dark things. Oh, you may be thing who I am. That’s a good question. I am Leon Blackell, but you can just call me Leon. The walking stiff… well, he’s Dirge, and he is a walking stiff. He’s dead. And not dead.” *sigh* “Well okay, he’s a death knight and he works for me. You know, permanently, as in if I die then he gets the pink slip. And that one,” He said, gesturing to the dog now chewing on a newly fond stick. “That’s Spike, my useless dog, but damn it, do I love him. What? You want to know what happened to me? Well its get to be a long story. You’re ok with that then? I’m going to start at the very beginning. What? No? Heh, too bad.” “There I was, minding my own business, not a care in the world. A simple life- and you’re not buying any of this, are you? I guess we can skip most of this. Blah blah adventuring blah inner peace blah blah asparagus blah Deck of Many Things blah blah. Too succinct? What are you talking about? The truth? Fine. I was walking down the path from my old homebase. I was going out to get some components and food for the dog. When… Bam! Suddenly, I doubled over in pain as if someone had sucker punched me in the gut, as I tried to hold back my last meal from leaving me for my feet. My eyes grew watery, I had to fight them back to keep my tears from streaming down my face; I was winning. Then, it was if the world had suddenly grown a mouth and swallowed me whole. I had the feeling of falling backwards, but I hadn’t lost my footing. Down into the dark I was falling. Down, down, down it like minutes… no, hours… no, days… or was it a blink of the eye? I did not know. But then a sickening “THWAM!” sounded as my head made contact with the ground. Before blacking out, I saw three blurry, bizarre, and quickly blackening faces over me: an orange one, a yellow one, and a white one, then black. “What are they? And what’s with those bags, and those sticks?” asked a tomboyish voice. “That one’s a dog. But the other one … I have no idea.” Replied a soothing female voice “It’s a MONSTER,” Barked a panicked, youthful, southern accent, “Grab it!” “Ow, ow, ow, ow!’ I said in a low voice. I tried to feel the spot where my head made contact with the ground, but found my each of my hands were bound apart. I snapped my eyes open, and I saw nothing, well nothing but black. It was at this time, I realized, I was not lying on the ground, but sitting upright on the floor. Now fear was starting to creep in to my mind. I tried to reach my other hand, but the same. Then I remembered my friend, my one last friend in the world. “Spike!” I called out, “Where are you? Spike, come!” I said in a loud, commanding call to my friend. “Damn it, if you lay one hand on him, HIM, I will kill you!” anger seeping out of my threat. An empty threat. “Hand, what the hay is hand?” the southern youth replied, full of questions. “Huh, are you stupid or something? You know, the things at the ends of your arms.” I said back like the smart-ass I, knowing full well I could get into even deeper trouble with this. I knew it was a stupid move on my part, but words were my only weapons at this point. “Or are you so inbred that you have no hands?” I threw out another insult. “Inbred? Why you no good, dirty monster!” The now angry southern youth said back. “No wait, stop Applebloom!” This was the soothing voice again. I couldn’t quite place it, but it had a singer-like quality to it. It sounded as if she was trying to hold her cohort back. “Yes, did I hear someone call me?” This time a young male voice called out and what followed was what seemed like footsteps moving up a flight of stairs. Wait… that didn’t seem right somehow; I was outside when I when blacked out. Did these people drag me somewhere to do this to me? My mind immediately thought the worst. Were they going to rob me, or worse, kill me? I had to push that thought out of my head, thinking like that would really kill me. “Oh my Celestia, what have you three done this time?” A male voice said, with shock in his tone. “What is it Spike?” called up yet another voice. This time, it was a cheerful and older sounding female voice. “Um… you should come and see what your number one apprentice did this time, Twi.” the male voice said again. Spike? Was it a nickname or something? It had to be a thug of some kind, a young thug, but a thug nonetheless. Wait… apprentice? “Oh?” The new female questioned, accompanied with the odd sound of hooves clopping up the stairs. “Oh my sweet Celestia! Sweetie Belle, what did you do?” “CUTIE MARK CRUSADERS MONSTER HUNTERS, YAY!” a deafening, but proud cheer erupted from all three of the young females. At this, I felt a warm, heavy, hairy, wet, drooling, but most of all happy, impact hit my side. “OOF! Dumb dog.” I muttered not meaning a word of it. “What IS it?” the older female yelled. “We don’t know.” the soothing female stated. “Did you look it up? Did you research it? Did you-“ “Ask him?” the young male interrupted. There was a pause. “He said my name.” he said in a flat statement. Sighing, I regained my composure, feeling no threat from the only sensible figure in the room, I said “Are you going to let me go now, or do you have more pointless questions for me?” “No, you’re a monster!” cried the bold, tomboyish female. “Yes, he is, but he asked nicely, therefore he can’t as mean as you make him out to be.” the calm older female replied. After a moment or two, I was freed from my bond and I could see. Blinking a few times to see my new surroundings, I perceived four pastel colored ponies and a purple lizard. “What.” Was this some kind of elaborate joke played on me? Was I at the mascot convention? No… they were far too real looking. “I am Twilight Sparkle, Princess Celestia’s number one student; this is my number one assistant, Spike.” the biggest of the four ponies gestured to the lizard. She appeared to have a coat colored entirely purple; her mane was a dark blue with two separate highlights, one being a slightly darker color than her coat, the other was pink. Yet, the colors seemed natural; no dyes seemed to be involved. Her eyes were big pools of violet that always seemed to ask the questions of “Why? Who? How come?” Parting her hair, dead center of her forehead, was a horn, but that didn’t seem as weird as the fact that there was a pony standing there talking to me. I mean I know what unicorns and pegasi are but never know they were this colorful and vocal. The small lizard’s main body consisted of purple scales and green spines on his cheeks and back with a light green scaled underbelly. His eyes were an emerald forest green with small black slits on them, like a cat’s, but still reptilian in nature. I would say it was a kobold, but something was off it had some pride for one more like a dragon. “The three fillies over there,” gesturing with her other hoof, “are Scootaloo, Sweetie Belle, and Applebloom.” The three fillies were in order of her descriptions, a small orange winged pony or with a hot pink mane and tail and light purple eyes, her wings were flapping frantically, but she wasn’t leaving the ground; next was a white marble colored pony with a curly split colored mane with pink and purple in it, and just above her emerald eyes, there was a horn; last, a yellow filly with a fluffy pinkish-red mane and orange eyes, and most adorably, a well-placed pink bow lay atop her head. “Are you the hero?” Sweetie Belle asked in an inquisitive tone. But before I could form the words to reply to this new question, Scootaloo cut me off. “Where did you come from?” Before I could reply to that question, I was cut off again, this time by Twilight. “Girls, I’ll ask the questions here.” She said in a stern manner, “First off, who are you?” “My name?“ I responded hesitantly, she nodded back courteously. In an indulgent tone, I replied, “I am known as Valentinez Alkalinella Xifax Sicidabohertz Gumbigobilla Blue Stradivari Talentrent Pierre Andry Charton-Haymoss Ivanovici Baldeus George Doitzel Kaiser III… naw, just fooling,” I grinned, looking at her surprised face. “I’m really Leon Blackell, but I just go by Leon.” Now getting to my feet and standing to my full height of 6’2”. Dusting myself off, I towered over these little ponies. My faithful companion, Spike, was a completely loyal, yet utterly worthless in defense. But you could never ask for a better friend than him, always willing to listen, always there at your side. He was a glorious looking big black lab. As I continued to dust myself off, checking to see if I was mostly still intact, my robes were still intact. Upon my face, a short neatly patch of beard, with an average looking face, vibrant blue eyes, and dirty blond hair that was slowly glowing lighter from the extended time outside. Looking around, I found my bush hat lying on the ground next to my bag. I firmly placed it on my head and pulled the front brim down slightly. My weapons were laid out neatly in a corner of the room. “So, Leon… what are you?” Twilight asked. “Hey you seem to be asking an awful lot of questions right now, when do I get to ask some? Umm, other than the one I just said.” “We’ll get to that, just answer the question.” “Let’s see… I’d guess you’d say I’m a human, kind of like an evolved primate?” I said while petting the top of my Spike’s head. “A sentient ape?” She said. It wasn’t a question, it was more like, intrigued. “Alright, then we need to inform the Princess of your arrival.” As soon as she said this, the draconic-like lizard had grabbed a piece of parchment and a quill. “Spike, write a letter to the Princess immediately, tell her there is an urgent matter that requires her attention at the Ponyville Library.” No sooner had she said this, Spike had already written the letter and seemed to have breathed green flames onto the parchment. It disintegrated in a cloud of smoke with little flits of sparkling green embers. “Well, now that’s done, the Princess should get the letter momentarily.” Twilight said. “Well, it’s not like this hasn’t fun. Thanks for giving me head trauma and tying me up, but I have to be going now.” I went for my bag and my walking stick, “Let’s go Spike.” I said with a hand gesture. Spike followed (My Spike) behind me as I walked to the stairs. Before I could make the first step, Twilight called out, “Stop where are you going?” I looked over my shoulder and gave her a look of ‘why?’ “What? Why?” I asked “You have to stay for the Princess’s response.” Twilight said with concern in her voice. “This is so obviously a dream, there is no way this could be real, I mean, just look at you, you’re a little purple pony!” I laughed. “I don’t see any reason to stick around just so I can have tea and cookies with some pony princess!” Just before she could shout out a response, there was loud uproar coming from outside. The sound seemed to grow louder as it crept though the wall; it was like an echo followed by a stomp. The sound made the windows shudder. “What was that?” asked Applebloom. An oddly simple statement came from Twilight. “I don’t know.” Just then, I said “Let’s go see then.” with a smile on my face like someone who liked to cause trouble. “What? Where are you going?” Twilight yelled. “To find out what’s going on in my dream.” I yelled back as I ran down the stairs onto the main floor landing. Then with that, I looked around, all I saw were walls covered in books. “This must be a library.” I thought to myself. I raced to the door and looked at it. It was clearly built exclusively for those ponies. I sighed, then ducked down and walked through the door. Now out in the street I look about for the source of the commotion. I could not see anyone around. Then I noticed a red hot light coming from around the corner of a building. Then I saw seven long, twisted, red hot, burning fingers grasping the corner of the wall. When the thing grasped the wall, I saw it burst into flames with the flames licking at its hand; then a very sinister snake-like face smiling as it peered around behind the wall. It had a box-like muzzle tapering to a near point, but still flat at the front; it’s eyes were like that of nothingness between the stars, light with nothing between the void. It flicked out its long pointed tongue, tasting the air as if it was a snake; the tongue was black with slow red pulsating veins. But before I could see the creature’s entirety, I hid behind the… tree house library thing. “Oh good a fight, Spike stay!” with one hand telling him to not move, and throwing my bag next to him grabbing one my staff.