//------------------------------// // 10:00 and Derpy Will End You // Story: What the Heck // by Zytharros //------------------------------// Brought to you by the Cheap-Ass Brewery, LLC. "Drinkin' Ass and Kickin' Bass" Est. 894 LF (the 894th Year of Lunafall) Twilight was reading a book. This was not new. What was new, however, was on this particular day, she got no enjoyment out of it. The book was even on her favourite subject - "A Dummy's Guide to Sexual Fan-" AHEM. "The Advanced Alicorn Agenda of Magic, Mystery and Much High Horrid History, Volume 31,114, Part 3." Yeah. I don't have a horn pressed to my throat or anything. Nope. Anyway, she was stroking herself to the advanced magics contained within when she was rudely interrupted by a squirrel ferret loudly farting out a Juggernaught ship. The fart was so loud it shook the entire treehouse right out of its foundation. Twilight soon found herself perched on her side, along with the whole tree. In fact, Gravity the Alicorn had selectively decded to ignore this occurrance and had left Twilight in her seat, the tree on is side and all contained within exactly as it was. So all Twilight noticed was the fart, and a triple-scale Roman Juggernaught ship out her floor window. Of course, she knew nothing of our technology, so she simply saw that shit and called it a ship. "Hey!" The squirrel looked at her apologetically and smiled. "Love love?" Twilight stuck her nose to the sky and took a big sniff. Incidentally, at that very moment, Rainbow Dash had parked her flank right above Twilight Sparkle's seat at the perfect angle for the unicorn's snout to ram itself right into the pegasus' anus. The breath was timed just so the snout inhaled the scent of her friend's rear end. Twilight froze. Rainbow froze. The blush that covered their faces was nearly tasteable. Rainbow's blush looked like an apple skin had been pasted to her cheeks. When the unicorn had touched her, she set off a chain reaction of chemicals that recalled some of Rainbow's more erotic dreams. She had a fetish she had discovered as a young foal, that o- ...I just got a wing blade pressed to the back of my neck... ... Kay, so a horn and a wing blade on my neck. I'm hosed, aren't I? ...Yeah, thought so. Be warned, I can write full clop about you when I'm dead, and you can't stop me. ... Yeah, that's what I thought. Twilight's blush was a combination of always wanting to taste her friend's butt and wanting to throw up because she was actually doing it. She had expected clouds or rainbows or even rain. Nope. Pegasus ass smelt exactly like unicorn ass smelt exactly like earth pony ass. Full of shit. So she ripped her muzzle out of her friend and flew off without wings straight into the bathtub where she promptly emptied three bottles of shampoo, two high-strength industrial cleaner barrels, a can of Raid, twelve cases of beer, and a hundred dollar bottle of cheap-ass whiskey (copyrighted by the Cheap-Ass Brewery, Stalliongrad, 30409 Donkey St. South 09384-A08) in an effort to get the smell and taste of ass out of her mouth. Unfortunately, she had forgotten to take into account that the chief ingrerient in all Cheap-Ass products was liquefied and aged donkey rectums, so that only made the taste wor- Dammit, now I have forty-three pistols held up to my head. Screw it. I'm fucked. The bottle of Cheap-Ass Whiskey only made the taste worse. She promptly vomited the contents of Rainbow's stomach into the sink, while Rainbow suddenly couldn't stop herself from barfing up Twilight's own lunch. They both looked at the contents of their barf and frowned. Twilight had just vomited a small foal with orange body hair and a purple mane, while Rainbow had vomited a unicorn foal with gray-blue hair and a blonde mane. And then they made out. Rainbow. Twilight. Dinky. Scootaloo. They all just made out. Right there. All at once. Then the foals and the adults broke off and had hot lesbian bang sessions, playing games of spin the bottle to determine partners. You see, 1,500 years ago, Celestia had declared that if a pony chose to participate in a game, it was illegal not to accept the consequences This created quite the conundrum over the child protection laws of the day, which Celestia decided to repeal solely and exclusively for those who chose to partake in an explicit version of whatever game had been decided. "You have to accept the consequences of your own actions" had been her reasoning. And then things got too hot and heavy dor this author, so he ended the chapter before taking it into clopfic territory. ... Kay, happy? ... Is that...? ... Fuck, it's Derpy!! I'm gone!! Zytharros, If I catch you even thinking my little muffin would do something like that again... I WILL END YOU. Have a good day! Derpy