There was only black. I felt like I could move, but there was no evidence that anything happened when I tried to take a step. I looked around, but only the blackness greeted me. So I did what the white guy in a horror movie would do.
“Hello? Is anyone there?”
Yep. Way to go genius. Now if there is a monster in here, you’re screwed. Nothing answered me, though. Well that’s a relief. As I tried to decide what to do next, I heard soft paws stepping on a hard surface. The sound came from behind me. Before I could turn, a deep, raspy voice sounded in my head.
“Don’t move. I could easily eat you whenever I want, but I want to talk first.”
“Ok, shoot.”
“Actually, I can’t do this. Just turn around first.”
I turned around, every predator I could think of flashing through my mind. What I saw, though, I wasn’t expecting. A huge, bronze colored wolf sat a fair distance from me, its tail swishing back and forth across the non-existent ground. It (he?) looked at me with luminescent sky blue eyes. I could see a twinkle of mischief in those eyes, but they looked honest. Wow, I’m trying to read a wolf’s personality in its eyes when it’s trying to eat me. What am I doing...?
The wolf seemed to be sizing me up as well. “So, I’m going to make you a deal.”
I didn’t even give it a second thought before I agreed. “Of what kind?”
“So here’s the jist of it. You just died in a skydiving accident.”
“What?”
“Yeah. So-”
“But what happened? It was going so well...”
The bronze figure laughed a big, booming laugh. “Dude, you pretty much shit your pants. You were so scared!”
“Fine! But what happened?”
“You don’t remember?” I did, but for whatever reason, I wanted to hear it from this wolf. “Your friend hit you out of the way of the nose of the plane. You hit the wing and broke your neck.”
I didn’t know what to say. I just learned that I’m dead. “...is this the afterlife?”
“Haha, no. Let me get back to your deal, unless you don’t want to hear about it...” he picked up a paw and inspected the bottom of it.
“No, let’s hear it!” What could I have to lose? I’m dead, after all.
“That’s what I thought. You have probably already guessed, but I’m a god.”
“Okay.”
“I can give you life again.”
“So what’s the catch?”
“Why do you care? You’re dead. You have nothing to lose.”
“Can you read minds?”
I swore I heard the beast snicker. “No.”
I looked at it warily. “I don’t want to become a zombie or anything.”
The beast sat up on its hind legs and held its right paw in the air. “I swear that you will become no form of undead, cursed, or deformed from agreeing with my pact.”
“So now it’s a pact?”
“So, smartass, do you accept?”
“You still haven’t told me what the catch is.”
“Ok, fine. By the laws of the supernaturals, which I’m not going to go into because a mortal like you wouldn’t understand, I could only find one world that I could send you to.”
“Alright, where would that be?”
“Equestria.”
“Horses? Cool, I’ll go for that.”
“Good. I already sent your body there,” the wolf rubbed the back of its head with its front paw at this point, “but I miscalculated a little bit.”
“Miscalculated...?”
“Yeah, I’m still new at this. I sent your transformed body several miles above where I had meant to. And I didn’t heal it right, either. Heh heh...My bad.”
“Wait, what does that mean for me?”
“That means that-”
-BEEP-
“What was that?”
“That? That means your time here is up.” -BEEP- The bronze god started to speak more quickly. “I can’t explain everything to you now, so you’ll have to figure it out on your own.” -BEEP- The scene started to fade as the wolf shouted one last sentence. “But don’t worry, I’ll be there to help!”
-----
-BEEP-
…
-BEEP-
…
-BEEP-
Ugh, stupid alarm clock... 5 more minutes...
Wait- my alarm played music. Why can’t I open my eyes? Or move anything? Am I dead? What is that annoying beeping? Gah, why won’t that beeping stop? That was some wierd dream...
The dream! If I could have sat up, I would have bolted upright. That wolf told me...
Are those...voices?
“I know, Miss Sparkle, it’s been seven weeks, but he’s still not up yet. By the calculations you gave us, he hit the ground at Mach 1. He’s lucky to be alive. He might not wake up for years...”
The conversation faded as a stronger presence took precedence in my mind.
“Oh shit, that looks worse than it did from back home...”
Wolf? Is that the wolf from my dream...?
“Oh damn, you’re up. Uhhh... Here’s what I’ll do for you.”
Excruciating pain lanced through my body, from my feet through my head. I was about to make a noise, then something cut it off.
“None of that from you, I need to finish up here without the doctors rushing in here from your screaming. Oh, and by the way, call me Bronze.”
So I layed there in agony for what seemed like hours. I could hear sparks, cracks, and what I could only guess was spellweaving. I’m pretty sure I blacked out a couple times from the pain. From time to time, I could hear Bronze muttering to himself. “Oops, that’s on backwards...” or “And this needs that here...” and things like that. Eventually, blissfully, I heard, “Alright, you should be done! Oh, wait... vision...”
Yeah, that’s going to be important, Bronze!
“Oh, shut up, you. I know. Now this won’t hurt a bit. It’ll hurt a lot.”
Wait, what? Even worse pain and suffering went through my left eye. Oh fuck, man, what are you doing?
“Shut up and let me work.”
Oh god, it hurts!
“Actually, it shouldn’t be hurting you that much... Shit. Uhhh...”
The fuck did you do, Bronze?!
“I can fix it!” A short while of a shitton of hurt later, he was done with my left eye. “Well, the good news is that you can still see.”
What are you not telling me, Bronze?
“Let me finish your other eye. I knew what went wrong, so I should be fine with this one.” I sighed and let him work. There was nothing I could do anyway; I still couldn’t move. Yet another short time later, and with significantly less pain than my left, my right eye was done. “Phew, finally done!”
So what’d you do to my eye?
“Well, you can still see. But with the way I fixed it, there was no room for pigment.”
Give it to me simple.
“...Your left eye is completely white.”
Great now i’m some kind of freak.
“Hey, you could at least give me some gratitude for saving your life, punk.”
Alright, sure. I tried to smile, but I couldn’t move. I tried to open my eyes, but that didn’t work either. Uhh, Bronze?
“Oops. Don’t panic. Ok, motor controls, motor controls... Oh, I remember!”
The wind got knocked out of me as something heavy slammed my chest hard. I cringed and moved my hand up to my chest to cradle the wound.
“Hey, it worked! You moved your hand!”
I moaned. Don’t do that...
“Again with the gratitude thing, dude. Did you hear that?”
No. Then I heard it. The door handle.
“Keep your eyes closed and don’t move.”
The sound of hooves clopping on the hard floor grew louder as someone, I assumed a nurse, came in. Wait, hoofbeats?
“Equestria, remember?”
The hoofbeats left when the nurse finished what she was doing. When the door closed, I immediately opened my eyes. A white tile ceiling greeted me first, then as I turned my head, a white wall with a couple boring health posters on it. As I slowly scanned the room, I saw the form of my body under the nasty colored bedsheets. I wanted to examine my new body. but a large furry form took up the other half of the room caught my attention, looking pleased with himself. I could hear the swish of his tail again; I knew it was wagging. With nothing else to say, I thought Hey.
“Hey yourself. How’re you feeling?”
Pretty well, considering I was dead a couple of hours ago.
“It’s actually been weeks. Seven weeks in this world, since I sent your body here.”
Well. Time flies when you’re in a coma.
“True. Make yourself presentable. The mares that rescued you want to visit again. They’ll be coming through that door in about... three, two,” I heard the door handle again, and I closed my eyes. “One. Don’t play too rough now.”
I could detect three different sets of hoofbeats as they walked through the door and to the side of my bed. I layed there, waiting to see if they said anything.
Eventually, I heard an intake of breath and one of them say (rather loudly) “Look at his face! It’s not broken!”
My eyes snapped open before I could prevent it. To my side, in front of my eyes, an orange mare sat in between a light blue one and a purple one. The orange one had a blonde mane, the purple one a darker mane of the same color with pink highlights, and the blue one had each hue of the rainbow in hers. The orange one wore a cowboy hat and had some attractive freckles. Wait, attractive?
“Equestria, remember?”
Bronze’s snide comment made me miss what the purple one said to the blue one. The two on the outside were arguing over the hat mare, and weren’t really paying attention. She, on the other hand, had her emerald eyes locked with mine, wonder and a hint of fear in her eyes.
“Uhh, girls? He’s awake.”
Their argument ended abruptly, and three sets of eyes stared at me. I could feel Bronze’s amusement behind me.
Why aren’t they freaking out about you?
“Guess.”
They can’t see you, can they?
Bronze laughed.
I realized that I had been staring at them for some time without saying anything.
“Uhh... Hey.” I realized my voice was about as deep as Bronze’s. Did you do that on purpose?
“Umm... no.”
“Hey.” The orange mare spoke to me. “How’re ya feeling?” Oh god that accent.
“Well, considering I just woke up from a coma, I feel fine. Great, even.”
“Great!” That was the purple one. “We should, uh, get the doc to come and take a look at you. Come on girls!”
With that, they were gone faster than they had come in. I sat up to look at Bronze, when something on my back hit the backboard of the bed. Huh?
Wings. Grey wings that extended from my back. This is so awesome!
“Before you get caught up in those...” Bronze threw back my covers and I got my first look at my new body. Quadrupedal. Hooves. Flame colored tail between my legs on the bed. I just noticed the muzzle in my vision. An IV stuck in my leg.
Before I could get over my shock, the door opened again and a light brown pony in a lab coat walked in. “Hey, you’re awake! I’m Dr. Chrome.” He went to shake my hand...hoof, and looked at my eyes. He seemed to hesitate a bit, his smile fading ever so slightly, but then it came back again. “I’m surprised you’re up,” he went on, checking foreign machines and readings. “You were in quite the fix.”
He went on for a bit more, but it faded into background noise as I spoke with Bronze again. Why do people keep staring at my eyes?
“Well, one is flat white, and the other...” he trailed off.
Bronze!
“It’s fine, but the iris is red.”
Sweet!
“You’re... ok with that?”
Hell yeah, red eyes? That’s awesome!
A nudge on my arm...foreleg? brought me back to reality. “Hey buddy, you ok? You kinda zoned out there.”
The doc was staring me in the face, his hoof still outstretched. He raised an eyebrow. “There we go. Now that you’re paying attention, any pain lately?”
I just woke up from a coma. Should I be in any pain? “Uh, no, not at all.”
“Really?” The doctor wrote some notes on his clipboard. He must have picked it up at some point, because I hadn’t noticed it earlier.
He went on to ask about my current status and other medical things. Eventually, he said, “Oh yeah. You have some visitors.”
“The same ones from before?”
“The three mares that saved your life? Yes. I’ll go get them if you want.”
“Sure.” Pff. Bronze saved my life, not these horses.
Bronze’s deep voice startled me. I had forgotten that he was still there. “Actually, if it weren’t for these mares, you wouldn’t have lived long enough to get to the hospital.”
Huh. I guess I should thank them.
Another nudge, this one on my forehead, again brought my attention back to the room. “Hey, we’re talking to you!”
The blue one was hovering next to me, her eyes narrowed, expecting an answer. The other two looked on curiously, but the orange one seemed ready to spring on the blue one. Or me.
Stop taking up my entire head when we talk.
“Hey, sorry. What were you saying?”
The blue one looked cross. “Well, I was asking you how-”
“Rainbow!” The purple one interrupted her. “Sorry,” she addressed me. “Rainbow here doesn’t have much tact.”
“I do so have tact!... What is tact?”
I decided to interject at this point. “Rainbow, was it? I see where the name comes from.” I gestured towards her head.
Rainbow blushed and looked away. The orange one came up to me with her hoof out before her. “M’name’s Applejack. And this here is Twilight.” The purple one, Twilight, waved sheepishly. “Pleasure to meet you. When y’all’re awake, that is.” What odd names.
“Nice to meet you too, Applejack, Twilight.” I turned to look at Rainbow, who was trying her best to look uninterested. “Rainbow.” I turned back to Applejack. “So, uh, what happened?”
“Well, first, y’all-”
“I’ll take it from here, Applejack.” Twilight stepped forward. “I was hoping you could tell me more. I was reading on my couch, when all of a sudden, a sonic boom shakes my house, and I look outside and see you falling from the sky. Some... things, happened, and because of those, we couldn't get to you before you hit the ground. When we reached you, I found you still alive, and sent Applejack to take you to the hospital.”
“Ah ran you here, but y’all’re heavy, ‘specially fer a pegasus. Rainbow found me and took you the rest of the way.”
That seemed to snap Rainbow back into the conversation. “Yeah, no need to thank me. I know I’m awesome.”
Applejack and Twilight ignored her. Twilight went on, “Based on my calculations of the size of the crater and your injuries, you were going at least Mach 1 when you crashed. How are you still alive?”
“Uhh...” Bronze? Help me out here?
“Sorry, bro. I got nothin’. Just don’t tell them about me.”
Thanks, you’re a bunch of help. “Hard head? I don’t know.”
Twilight gave me a look. “Ok, well how did you get there?”
Don’t tell them about you, huh? I don’t like lying, Bronze.
“Suck it up. Deal with it.”
“Well, here’s the truth. I’m a human from a different universe. I was skydiving with my friend, and I got hit by a plane. I woke up here.”
“If you didn’t want to tell us, you could have just said so,” Rainbow huffed, crossing her forelegs (“Hey, you’re starting to get it!”) and turning away. My answer seemed to be enough for Twilight, but Applejack stared me down like I was prey. She knew I wasn’t telling the whole truth.
I tried to change the subject. “Hey, so what’s it like here? Wherever we are?”
Twilight smiled. “You aren’t from around Ponyville, are you?”
I just told you I wasn’t. Wait, Ponyville? Didn’t you say you sent me to Equestria, Bronze?
“Yes. Pay attention to your current conversation!”
Twilight was still going on about Ponytown. “Ponyville!” Same thing.
“This is a lot to try to take in. Couldn’t you just show me instead?”
“Sure! You look fine to me, let’s go!” Rainbow swooped out the door. Why was that open this entire time?
“Consarn it, Rainbow!” Applejack chased her out, leaving me and Twilight in the hospital room. Seeing my chance, I took it.
“Hey, Twilight. You seem to be the reasonable one here. I meant what I said, about me being a human.”
“No, I believe you. I believe I know what happened, too. I’m going to go ask Dr. Chrome if you can leave.”
“Ok, well I’ll still be here.”
“Be right back!”
I sighed as I laid back into my pillow again. Bronze?
“Yes?” The tail started swishing again.
Why did you send me to a world full of lunatics?
“I thought you’d fit in.”
