Celestia was a master of patience.
Being the ruler of an empire had trained her to deal with almost any situation with a calm and collected attitude. From civil unrest, maniacal 3rd world dictators, or her bratty nephew Blueblood, the Sun Goddess made sure to never let her true irritated emotions show.
However, even Celestia had a breaking point.
Discord's face sat mere inches away from hers. He was to her side, and Celestia could only see what he was doing out the corner of her eye. Discord wore an obnoxiously smug grin, that Celestia found unbelievably annoying. Occasionally, he would let out a sigh and rustle Celestia's mane with his breath.
"Celesstiaaa," called Discord, making sure to stretch out the syllables of her name. "Watcha doin'?"
The princess's eye twitched, "The same thing I've been doing for the past 3 hours." she answered annoyed.
The thing in question was sorting through military paperwork. Equestria was executing operations against the Changeling Empire and Celestia had to sign off on every single command and order.
Truthfully, Celestia hated the paperwork more than she hated the actual war.
Discord teleported onto a nearby chair in front of Celestia, "I'm bored," he whined. "Entertain me Sunny Butt."
Celestia cringed, she hated Discord's nickname for her.
"How about you find something to entertain yourself?" suggested the Sun Goddesses through clinched teeth.
Discord sighed and rolled his eyes, "I could..." he began.
"If you would get rid of this leash!" he said pointing to his ankle. A small metallic device was strapped around his deer leg. If he was a certain amount of miles away from Celestia, the draconequus would receive a nasty shock.
"I'm sorry Discord, but you can't be trusted." said Celestia rising from her throne. "You're still on probation."
"Probation?" asked Discord in false surprise. "What in Equestria would I ever do to deserve something like that?" he asked innocently.
Celestia began out of her throne room and down a hallway, Discord floated beside her.
"Well just last week, you tried to bake my sister into a pastry." she answered bluntly.
"Oh, that?" asked Discord as if the incident was unimportant. "I just wanted to make some moon pie, is all."
Celestia felt a smile forming on her lips, but quickly dismissed it.
She turned towards Discord, "Well thanks to that stunt, Luna will smell like marshmallows for a month."
Discord pouted, "When did you become so uptight about everything?" he asked. "I remember a Celestia who would much rather explore the Everfree Forest than go to an etiquette lesson. I miss the good ol' days."
Celestia stopped dead in her tracks and gave Discord a cold glare, "There never was any 'good ol'
days', Discord." she said menacingly. "The only reason that you're not still trapped in stone is because your powers can help my citizens."
The goddess leaned closer towards the chaotic spirit, "Make no mistake, we're not friends, our relationship is strictly professional."
Discord raised a brow, "Really, Celestia?" he asked unimpressed with her strong words. "You and I both know that isn't true."
He gave a glare of his own, "Or is that the excuse you've brainwashed yourself into believing?"
Celestia's frown deepened, "Hold your tongue Discord!" she warned.
Discord leaned away with a satisfied smile, "Now now Celestia, no need for such strong emotions." he reprimanded.
Celestia said nothing, but turned her head away as she continued down the hall. Discord had a way of getting under her skin and she hated the mind games he played.
The draconequus was a master of words.
"Anyway, we still haven't solved the problem of me being bored." reminded Discord.
Celestia sighed in annoyance, "You want something to do? Help me welcome the new member of my personal guard."
"You mean that Flash Sentry guy?" Discord groaned. "The guy has the personality of a doorknob."
Celestia walked into the Royal Dinning Room. An elaborately decorated table housed all of the Princess's favorite sweets.
"Well unless you have a better idea-" she began.
Discord suddenly teleported in front of her. "Actually, I do have a better idea!" he proclaimed. With a snap of his lion paw, a crudely drawn blueprint appeared.
"This here is Chaos Mania!" he proclaimed proudly. "A 65 acre amusement park of my own design! Now, if you'll look her-"
"Absolutely not." deadpanned Celestia.
Discord rolled his eyes and vanished the blueprint away. "You're just a big ray of sunshine aren't you Celestia?" he asked sarcastically.
"Princess!" a voice suddenly called. A newly coronated Twilight Sparkle walked into the hall and towards Celestia.
"Twilight!" exclaimed Celestia. "You're here a bit early for our weekly meeting." she said.
Twilight gave a rather bashful look, "Well I wasn't sure if a princess should be extremely early, or fashionably late. I tried to contact you for help, but you must have missed my letters! I'm not sure how, figuring I sent 36 of them! So anyway I tried to see if Cadance knew anything, but she seemed rather annoyed that I woke her up at 3 in the morning! So then-"
Celestia put a hoof to her student's mouth to end her rambling.
The goddess sighed, "Twilight, you really have to learn how to calm down." she scolded. "You've yet to receive any official duties, yet you're more stressed out than Luna was when she first came back."
Twilight blushed, "I'm sorry," she apologized. "I guess I'm just still adapting to all this."
Discord suddenly teleported in front of the purple princess. "Well if it isn't Twilight Sparkle!" he exclaimed."
The Spirit of Disharmony gave the Alicorn a once-over. "Hmm..." he said, putting his talon to his chin in thought.
"You look...different. But I can't quite put my paw on it."
Discord conjured a magnifying glass to further examine Twilight. "New haircut?" he asked.
Twilight rolled her eyes. "No." she deadpanned.
Discord continued his investigation. "Oh, I know!" he proclaimed. "You're wearing contacts."
Twilight shook her head.
Discord squinted hard at her. "Have you gained weight?"
"Enough, Discord!" yelled Celestia, ending his guessing game.
Twilight merely sighed, she fluttered her wings in front of the draconequus.
"Oh, yes!" shouted Discord in fake shock.
"You're an Alicorn now." He glared at Celestia, "Perhaps I would've know that if I was invited to your coronation."
Celestia raised an eyebrow. "Discord, you weren't invited because I thought you wouldn't be interested." she explained. "The ceremony was long and boring."
Discord teleported back in front of Celestia. "You're talking to the guy who spent 1,000 years with a nothing but a view of a garden." he pointed out.
Celestia turned her attention back to Twilight. "Anyway, since you're here we'll start early." she said.
The Sun Goddess's horn started to glow. "Earl Grey, would you please prepare some Green Tea for me and Princess Twilight?" she asked.
There was a static noise. "Right away ma'am!" responded a voice from seemingly nowhere.
Celestia smiled, her horn stopped glowing.
Discord gave Celestia a look. "Do you really use your magic to ask your staff to do stuff you're to lazy to do yourself?" he asked. "You're the worst kind of pony, ya know?"
Celestia ignored Discord's judging.
By the time Celestia's Royal Tea Maker arrived, the two Alicorns were far into their discussion about the ongoing conflicts. Earl Grey drew the attention of Celestia.
"Excuse me Princess, may I serve you?" she asked.
Celestia smiled. "Certainly, Earl." she said.
Discord, (who when Celestia and Twilight began their conversation, conjured a floating mattress for him to sleep in), opened his eyes. The draconequus watched the server pour the tea. Using his magic, Discord flung the teacup out of Celestia's reach, and onto the floor below.
"Discord!" yelled Celestia. "What has gotten into you?"
Discord kept a still glare at Earl. "Get away Celestia, that's not Earl Grey." he said in a deathly serious tone.
Celestia looked at the now shaking server and back at Discord. "This is not the time to be playing games Discord!" she shouted.
Discord rose from his bed and teleported towards Celestia. "Get away from her, now." he said sternly. He started to walk towards the mare.
The draconequus flashed a smile. "I must say, your impression of Ms. Grey is spot on." he complemented.
"W-What are you talking about?" she asked nervously. She turned towards Celestia. "Princess! What should I do?"
Celestia rose from her seat and blocked Discord's path to the mare. "What are you doing?" she asked.
Discord rolled his eyes. "This isn't your tea server Celestia, it's an imposter."
Earl cowered closer to Celestia. "No I'm not my Majesty!" she cried. "I'm the real Earl Grey."
Celestia frowned. "Exactly what makes you think that she's an imposter?" she asked the draconequus.
Discord teleported closer to Earl. "Well for one..." he started. He pointed towards the mare's flank.
"Earl has 4 tea leaves as her Cutie Mark. She only haves 3."
An awkward silence filled the room.
Celestia took a step back. "I...I don't understand." she said.
Early Grey looked around the room nervously, before suddenly flashing an evil grin. In a green flash, Earl's light yellow coat turned into black rubbery skin. Her light sapphire eyes turned into giant blue orbs and black fins appeared along her back.
Discord smiled, "And the truth is revealed." he said.
The changeling flashed it's razor sharp fangs. "Count your blessings Celestia, you shall pay for your war crimes!"
Celestia snapped out of her shock. "Guards! Guards!" she cried.
In an instant, two Royal guardspony tackled the changeling and began to wrestle on the ground.
Celestia turned towards the still smiling draconequus. "Discord, go to your room!" she commanded.
Discord narrow his eyebrows. "For what?" he asked. "In case you didn't notice, I just saved your life."
"We don't need you in the way." said Celestia. "This isn't up for debate." The Alicorn's horn began to glow, Discord's ankle restraint started to beep.
"Celestia, you better not teleport me-" Discord began.
His commanded was quickly ended once he suddenly found himself back in his familiar cell. Discord sighed in annoyance, he could take the short leash Celestia had on him, but her giving orders like a parent were irritating.
Discord surveyed his bleak cell. The room was smaller than he would've liked, only hosting a bed and a toilet for the spirit to use. The size wasn't what he hated about it though. No, it was the room's unbearable blandness. Every part of it was grey, not even a speck of color to decorate it. Being confined to a boring room was perhaps the worst punishment he could face, that and being turned to stone anyway.
The draconequus slithered into his bed, custom built to accommodate his slender body. He had just rested his head against the pillow, when suddenly a voice called out to him.
"Daddy!"
Discord opened one of his eyes, only to be attacked by a ball of pink and purple.
"OOOF!" Discord grunted as the fuzz ball landed on him. He shook off the pain to study his attacker more carefully. The assailant was a filly, her pink coat and purple hair accommodated her large spiraled eyes.
“Screwball?” asked Discord. What are you doing here? You’re supposed to be staying with Auntie Flutters and Uncle Macintosh.”
Screwball tightened her hug around Discord’s waist. “Auntie Fluttershy went to sleep. Screwball sneaked out, went to see daddy!” she said.
Discord sighed before smiling, his little creation never ceased to impress him. The filly must have traveled miles to Canterlot and somehow snuck into the heavily guarded castle. Her magical ability rivaled even his.
Screwball released Discord from her death hug. “Screwball sad, why can’t she live in Castle with mommy and daddy?” she asked, her bottom lip poked out.
Discord’s smiled dropped, “Who is mommy?” he asked.
“Mommy is Sun Goddess!” she exclaimed happily. “Mommy and daddy love Screwball forever!”
Discord smiled again, he nuzzled her mane affectionately. “Daddy does love Screwball.” he said. “For now and forever.”
The two spent a couple of hours talking and playing. Discord figured he would let the filly spend the night with him rather than send her back to Ponyville. When it was time for sleep, Discord gathered his pillows and placed them at the foot of his bed. Screwball curled onto the pillows, and prepared for a night’s rest.
KNOCK KNOCK
Discord looked towards his door, he never got any visitors, especially not at this hour. He teleported towards the door.
“Who is it?” he sung.
“Housekeeping.” answered an unfamiliar voice.
Discord raised an eyebrow. “Well in case you haven’t noticed, I’m not in the position to open any doors.” Celestia had placed a magic lock that forbade Discord from leaving the room
Suddenly, a large magical blast took the door of its hinges. On the other side stood a abnormally tall unicorn mare. Her green eyes stared deviously at Discord, as if she was stalking him for dinner.
“Ooops.” said the mare sarcastically, strolling into the room.
Discord chuckled to himself. “You must be very powerful to be able to blast open a magically protected door.” he complimented. “But I must ask what the reason for this intrusion is.”
The mare was taken aback by Discord’s response. “Y-You don’t seem the least bit startled at my forwardness.” she said.
Discord gave a hearty laugh, Screwball jumped from her pillow bed and climbed onto Discord’s back. The filly eyed the strange mare with suspicion.
“Who is this weirdo lady, daddy?” she asked.
“She’s a Changeling my dear.” said Discord. The unicorn mare gasped in disbelief, before giving an evil smile. In a green flash, the unicorn mare revealed her rubbery skin, long flowing green mane, and jagged horn. Her wings buzzed as she flew closer towards Discord.
“My, my, no wonder you were able to spot that assassin earlier.” she said.
“It wasn’t that hard.” said Discord. “Many ponies underestimate my observant nature.” He looked the Changeling up and down. “So you must be the Chrysalis I’ve been hearing so much about. I was much more familiar with your mother, Queen Thorax.”
Chrysalis snarled at the mention of her mother. “She lacked the will I have at providing for my children.” she said in her echoey voice. “I’m also not one for signing treaties.”
Discord put a claw to his chin. “Oh yes, I remember those treaties. Prevented a war between the Changelings and the Gryphon Kingdom if I’m not mistaken.”
“What it did was force my people to give up our lands to those barbaric savages!” Chrysalis spat. “My mother was nothing but a coward, it is because of her that the Changeling race starves.”
Discord yawned, failing to feign interest in Chrysalis’s tale. “I assume you didn’t risk getting caught in the palace of the kingdom actively looking for you to talk about parental figures.”
Chrysalis scoffed. “You’re right, I’m here to offer you an opportunity of a lifetime.” she said. She begin to circle Discord. “After my...disappointing failure at the wedding, I realized that I alone didn’t possess the power to help my people. I was out of ideas until, he came back.”
“Sombra.” said Discord. “I hate to burst your bubble Queeny, but Sombra was defeated by the Elements.”
“His magic is still strong. I’ve sent many spies to research ways of resurrecting him. One of them recently made a breakthrough. An ancient incantation cable of embodying a spirit. When it is completed, Sombra will return at his full power.”
Discord remained silent for a moment. “Exactly pray tell, does this have to do with me?” he asked.
Chrysalis raised a brow. “Sombra and I will bring destruction on to Equestria when he returns. In it’s ashes, there will need to be a new ruler.” Chrysalis walked back to directly in front of Discord. “I can think of no better ruler than you.” she said.
“Me?” Discord asked, confused. “Why take over Equestria to just have me rule it?”
“I have no need for this land.” answered Chrysalis. “I simply wish to take my revenge on the Griffons. To retake the land my mother lost for my subjects. Sombra will have the Crystal Empire and you can have Equestria.”
Discord regarded her offer. “Hmm...let me think about it. No.” he said plainly.
Chrysalis hummed to herself. “I’m offering you the opportunity to be a king, and you give it up to be Celestia’s pet? Perhaps I misjudged you Discord.”
Discord gave a nasty scowl. “I’m nopony’s pet.” he said. “I’m choosing the life I live and no one else.”
“Oh really?” asked Chrysalis. She motioned a holed hoof at Discord’s ankle brace. “I suppose you’ll try to say that this isn’t a leash?”
Discord opened his mouth to respond, but he found himself with nothing to say. Celestia had complete control over him. She controlled where he went, she controlled what he ate, he couldn’t even leave his room without her permission! Discord had thought he had chose to be reformed because it would be better for him in the long run. But did he just do it so he wouldn’t be turned to stone? Did he even have a real choice?
Chrysalis, sensing his mental distress, smiled. “I have no need for an answer now, please take your time on the matter.” Chrysalis turned towards the giant hole in the wall. “But I must warn you. Refuse my offer and you’ll be destroyed along with with Equestria.”
She smiled, in in a green flash returned to her unicorn disguise. “We’ll be in touch.” she said, turning down the hallway and disappearing from sight.
Screwball came off of Discord’s back. “Screwball doesn’t like weird bug lady, daddy.” she said.
Discord sighed. “I don’t either.” he lied.