//------------------------------//
// Chapter 6 - Consequential Surreality 
// Story: Shattered Worlds: The Cataclysm 
// by Puppeteer 
//------------------------------//

 For the first time in what seemed like an eternity I was happy. I was with my friends and the world was the way it was supposed to be again. In hindsight I should have questioned why everything was so different, but that's the way dreams work I guess; You never realize how impossible they are until you're awake again. It was still so nice to have everybody back in a world that still made sense; In a world where there weren't a million mistakes to lament over every passing second; In a world where there was always a place to seek comfort. I guess that's another lesson to be learned; You don't really appreciate what you have until it has been torn away from you and you can never get it back. 

At the time though, I took the rare opportunity to disregard reality and be soothed by the familiar presence of the ponies I had lost.
"Hey Pinkie! Are Y'all just gonna' sit around all day or are ya' gonna' buy some cider" came the familiar voice of Applejack.
"Oh, sorry!" I said placing some bits on the counter
"You know me. I'm always off somewhere else in my head!"
"That Ya' are sugarcube." she said smiling. The scene blurred out of focus and faded to another.

"Hi Fluttershy. Hi Pinkie Pie. I'm so glad you two could make it!" Twilight said excitedly.
"Are you joking?", I asked laughingly.
"After how good The one with Applejack and Rarity went I wouldn't miss a sleepover for the whole world!" I smiled sadly at the treasured memory. It was these little things that made life so special. How could I ever have been blind enough to throw that all away? I could feel tears building up and I was ready to let it all out, but before I could do anything of the sort the scenery changed again. Now I was at a picnic with Fluttershy. We didn't say anything. Instead we just sat still for a few precious moments and enjoyed each-other's company. Again the scene faded to painting the barn with Applejack, then to throwing a party for Twilight's arrival, then Modeling in the carousel boutique. Soon The images were coming and fading too fast to identify. The emotion was still there, so I didn't really care. Even though I could no longer make out the blurs of color, it seemed like I was slowly becoming less and less involved with them. It felt like I was outside of myself watching myself be part of them.

Eventually the barrage of happy moments faded in it's entirety and gave way to one definite scene. Now I could confirm that I wasn't viewing from my own eyes. I could see myself in the front entrance of Sugarcube Corner. I was just... waiting. Suddenly I knew what day it was, and any comfort I had felt earlier vanished. I tried to will the dream to go back, but its course seemed definite. Soon Rainbow Dash trotted into the room like I knew she would and the dream started to get weird. The dialogue between Rainbow and me was garbled; I could pick out a word here and there, but for the most part it was indecipherable.
"...will be... one... for you..."
"So is... Like... Test?..."
"Sorta..."
"...now Wha..."
"Now..." This was all too familiar to me.
"Now you take a nap." I muttered to myself. The vision faded to black. I could recite every word that was said there by heart. I was so sure of myself then. I had seen the whole thing as a sort of personal test.  The last thing that a mass murderer needs is a conscience, and for as long as I could remember I never had one to bother me, but that changed when the Elements of Harmony surfaced in my friends and me. It wasn't so much the Elements themselves that became problematic, but the connection they brought with them. My friends made normal life seem so beautiful and so sacred that I began to feel guilt. How many beautiful lives and friendships had I torn apart? The question began to nag in the back of my head. Rainbow though, she was special. She was the one that I really, genuinely loved. She was the one that I would do anything to spend time with. She was the one that made me almost wish I was a normal pony just so that I wouldn't have to feel guilt whenever I was near her about all the secrets I had to keep from her. She was the one that made it so I didn't even know who I wanted to be anymore. When her number came up that fateful day, I took it as a sign: A sign that I could finally get rid of all the stupid conflicting thoughts in my head and make the world make sense again. I was so sure of it all at the time, but I couldn't possibly have been more wrong.

My sorrowful lamentation was cut short by a bloodcurdling scream and the familiar sound of flesh being sheared from bone. For a brief moment the darkness was gone and I could see Rainbow's body. I could see the places where I had stitched the skin back together into a rotting patchwork of mangled flesh. It was the image that plagued my dreams all too often.

That was where I expected the ghastly vision to end. I thought it would just be that and I would wake up, but the vision continued on to the events of the next day. That was the day I first realized my mistake. I was so consumed by the idea of making the thoughts in my head go away that I didn't even give a second thought to the repercussions my actions might cause. It was only noon bu the time that the other four noticed her absence. We spent the whole day looking for her, and I felt like vomiting the whole time. My idea that killing her would fix everything in my head was dead wrong. I felt worse than ever, and knowing that there was no way out anymore only made things that much harder to cope with, but that was only the beginning of my trouble.

It should have occurred to me that the disappearance of one of the Elements of Harmony would be a major problem, but I had been blinded by desperation. Twilight Sparkle sent word directly to the princess the very next day, and a detective had arrived by dusk to find her. His name was Detective Cognitious Forte, and I was at the train station when he arrived. He was white coated with a long, but neatly styled grey mane. His cutie mark depicted an old fashioned magnifying glass, and the old brown fedora he wore on his head sold the image. This colt was most definitely not just some pony who had been sent to investigate. No, this colt was a born detective. That was when I realized exactly how much trouble I was in, and I started to panic. If Celestia had assigned somepony who's special talent was detective-work to find out what happened to Rainbow Dash, it was only a short matter of time before the truth was discovered. I had no way out.

The vision changed to me pacing back and forth in my room with beads of sweat dripping down my forehead. There was a growing feeling of dread in the pit of my stomach. It felt like my heart was about to explode. At one point I had seriously been considering killing myself just to make all of this go away. After all, no pain could possibly be as terrible as living with the knowledge of what my friends would think of me once they discovered what I had done. I clearly remember that the only thing stopping me from actually doing it was the fact that it would mean admitting defeat. It would mean taking the easy way out of a life that was completely meaningless. I couldn't let that happen. After I had gone this far and sacrificed this much, I couldn't let it all have been for nothing. Even if my motives were nothing more than those of self-preservation, regardless of if I was right or wrong, whether I was a protagonist or an antagonist, at some point in that room I resolved to carry on no matter what. For the time being I had to function without guilt and without hesitation. It was clear that I wasn't a good pony, and now my only option was to go all the way.

My enemy was Princess Celestia. She was infinitely more powerful than me, she had entire armies at her personal disposal, and she was a self-righteous dictator with an overdeveloped sense of justice. If word reached her and I wasn't already so far out of her reach that it would be impossible for her to get to me, I had no doubt that I would either end up eternally imprisoned in some way or silently executed. That was the scenario that I had to avoid. My first thought was to simply obscure any incriminating evidence from the detective's view in hopes that the case would be dropped, but such ideas were foolish at best. Although Celestia tried to appear as a perfect ruler, she had always been hungry for power. To her, My friends and I were more than just subjects, we were a powerful weapon that she could use to protect her throne, and if there was any hope of finding Rainbow Dash alive, then not only would she have assigned the smartest detective available to the case, but he would not be given the order to stop searching until the truth was unveiled. Put simply, Cognitious was a problem that needed to be taken care of soon, but if I just killed him it would only draw more of the princess's concern. A vague plan began to form in my head. If everything went just right, then it would not only eliminate the detective and shroud Rainbow's disappearance in more mystery, but it would put me outside of Celestia's reach.

The first thing I needed was money. Rarity had plenty of that. That night I broke into her house silently and was able to open the chest she kept upstairs without waking her up and "borrow" nearly two-thousand bits. She wouldn't be needing them for long. The next morning there was a big stir about it and I had to be there. I thought I would just feign ignorance and go on with the day, but Detective Forte immediately singled me out of the group. He asked me why I had been out of bed last night. I opened my mouth to ask why he would think something like that, but he responded before I could speak.
"When I arrived at the train station yesterday, your mane was in pristine condition, but now there are two strands covered in dirt on the left side. Of course this could have happened at any time, but you headed off in the direction of your home immediately after catching sight of me and this would have to be the first place you came this morning. You are also fatigued. Your eyes have slight traces of bags underneath them and your vision has gone out of focus three times just while I have been standing here: Telltale signs of sleep deprivation. These observations lead me to the knowledge that you were awake and with 90% probability out of your home last night. Under the circumstances I would be very interested to know why." Fortunately for my sake, his monologue had given me just enough time to come up with a believable lie. That mistake stemmed from just the kind of arrogance I would expect from him, but any doubts in my mind about his capabilities had vanished. He was even more dangerous than I had initially thought.

As soon as I was able to slip away from the crime scene, I went to town hall to begin the next step of my plan. I had chosen the mayor as one of my pawns. I asked her about purchasing the old factory on the hill above Ponyville. Little did she know what horrific affects of pony blood I planned to exploit: Secrets I had discovered and joyfully experimented with in the past. I made up some wild story about how I got the money to pay for it and she never doubted it for a second. The mayor always had been a gullible pony. Once the business was complete I made a casual remark about wanting her to come by the next day to help me look things over if her schedule was clear. Since she consulted her secretary on all matters regarding her daily schedule, that would both ensure that the visit would take place and that the secretary would know where she was. Both of those were necessary, and both of which she played right into my hand in making them happen. 

Rarity was upset after that, but she didn't suspect I had anything to do with her misfortune, so I tagged along with Twilight and her for a bit of the day. I remember feeling guilty, and nearly breaking down and confessing to them, but I was able to keep my cool. Later in the day, Forte overheard me telling Rarity about how if she was ever in a financial doozy, she could always borrow some of the revenue from the cupcake factory I was about to open. No doubt this would strengthen Forte's suspicion of me as the thief, but that could work in my favor later. Besides, his main investigation was Rainbow's disappearance and whatever reasons he had to be suspicious of me where not enough to act on. 

There was only one more day until all the pieces would be in play, but my night was going to be busy too. As soon as afternoon rolled around I knew it would be a challenge to stay awake, but wasting this night would mean condemning myself. A few hours after all the lights went out, I carefully crept down into my secret room. I had been storing the blood and organs of my victims in seven large empty cider barrels. I quickly packed them up, cleaned any suspicious liquid from their exteriors and dragged them upstairs. I decided to leave the rest of the evidence and decorations in place. If everything went according to plan then there wouldn't be any reason to hide them. I quickly jotted down two cryptic notes addressed to the meddlesome detective and left the first on the table in the center of the room. The text read as follows: "Forte. Now you understand how deep this goes. If I could take care of the baker personally I would, but my hooves are tied. You don't have much time. Run you silly detective. Run. ~W" The second I slid into an envelope and tucked away. The name at the end of the letters didn't have any particular meaning to it, but it would help keep him guessing.

The task of rolling each of the barrels individually up the hill was a grueling task, but at least I could count on doing my work uninterrupted. Any Ponyville resident who was actually awake to see me from a window would just assume I was up to my old Pinkie Pie antics yet again and not bother to check on me, and the house Forte had rented was all the way on the other side of town. I had all of the barrels in their places before the crack of dawn. I finished arranging them so that the only one with the top removed would be at the far end of the furnace room and began staggering back to Ponyville. Extreme sleep deprivation coupled with the hours of manual labor I had just completed had left me nauseous, weak, and disoriented. It could have been problematic if anypony saw me in such a state of disarray, so I had to get back to my house without being seen. Luckily the few ponies who were already awake were easily avoided. When I finally got back to my house I literally collapsed on the floor from physical exhaustion, but I had the sense to set my alarm clock before slipping into unconsciousness. As usual, my dreams were plagued with nightmares.

When I finally awoke, my mind was in a haze and my whole body ached from physical exertion. It probably didn't help that I had slept on the floor either. I groggily pulled myself upright and smashed the face of the alarm clock with my hoof. I quickly cleaned myself up in the mirror and did the best to hide the bags under my eyes before grabbing my note and heading out the door. I was able to sneak through town to the house Forte had rented for his stay in Ponyville. From there on it was a simple task to slip open the unlocked window near his bed and slipped the note onto his empty bed. I opened the note up and read it over. The text read: "Forte. The baker is guilty. Check the basement. You only get one chance. ~W" Even with all of his intellect to caution him, I doubted he would be able to resist his curiosity. Once he got to the basement it would be simple to predict his next move. He would go to the town hall to inform the mayor of his discovery. By then she would gone with me, and her secretary would inform him of where we went. If he stopped to evaluate the situation he would no doubt question the identity of W. Hopefully the shock of the discovery and the urgency of the situation would keep him from seeing the big picture.

The vision blurred and skipped to after I had already visited the mayor and began the walk to the factory. I saw myself keeping up lively chatter with the unsuspecting mayor. It was painful at the time, but I had to stay in character. Again my vision blurred and again skipped ahead to when we were approaching the factory. I let her walk ahead. I wanted her to enter first. We walked inside and Mayor Mare squinted to see in the dark room. The furnace was visible on the left wall and the barrels were organized on the left, save for the one open barrel in the center of the room. That was when I spoke up, discarding my happy facade.
"I think there is something you should see in there." I said, gesturing toward the barrel. The mayor raised an inquisitive eyebrow, but was taken by curiosity and stepped forward to see what was inside the barrel. She had less than a second to be shocked by its contents before she found her head being held underneath the surface of the liquid. She struggled and bucked, but years of rock-farming had made me much stronger than some lousy politician. Somewhere it felt like something in me broke. I began to laugh in utter hysteria. Slowly the laughter transformed into sobbing, but with the grin still plastered on my face. I don't even know quite what was going through my head that caused it, but my breakdown faded and I got control of myself again. It was a while before she stopped struggling, and a while longer before I pulled her lifeless corpse from the barrel and laid it out on the floor. Blood seeped out of her mouth. Now I just had to wait. I just had to keep it together a little bit longer.

I hid myself just behind the door and waited with the shiny kitchen knife I had stashed there the night prior. Hours passed for me there, but in retrospect everything was sped up. The light coming in through the door slowly faded and eventually things were dark enough that I turned the dim solitary light hanging from the ceiling to illuminate the room. Eventually I heard footsteps approaching and turned the light out. I stood up with my knife and got ready for the door to open. Forte Burst through the door and turned completely around, scanning the room for me. My hiding place was too dark for his gaze to penetrate. He flipped the lights on, and would have spotted me if he turned his head again, but his eyes were locked on the mayor. Caught up in the moment, he rushed to Mayor Mare and began trying to revive her. I crept out of my hiding place and got ready to slit his throat. He was about to check the mayor's pulse, but he froze. Looking back on the incident it seemed everything just clicked in his mind and he put the puzzle pieces together. I lunged to do finish him, but he had given himself just enough time to retaliate. He flipped around with surprising speed and used his hoof to direct the knife's trajectory above his neck. Unfortunately for him, that only directed the knife into his right eye. Taking advantage of the opportunity, I twisted it and pulled it out at a gruesome angle, gouging the eye from its socket leaving a gaping bloody hole in its place. Cognitious screamed in pain and looked like he was going to keel over for a second, but instead he drove forward in an attempt to knock me off my hooves. Instead I used the moment he was off balance to get underneath him and shove him backward. I threw his whole body into the barrel, hoping to drown him in a similar way to how I killed Mayor Mare, but he was much quicker than her. He judged where my head would be and bucked it with all the force he could muster in one leg, sending both him and the bucket flying away from me. The floor was coated in slippery blood, but Forte was on his feet instantly, preparing for my next move. I tried to react faster than he would anticipate and flung the knife like a projectile, but even in his weakened state he was able to narrowly duck it. I didn't let that discourage me though. I used the precious few seconds that he was recovering from the dodge to slide forward on the slick blood and dig my teeth into his face. Using my momentum, I tore of the section of his face underneath his empty eye socket, leaving the right side of his face barely recognizable at all.

For a moment I thought I would have to go for the discarded knife and finish the job, but the blood was flowing too fast and the poor old detective collapsed. He was barely conscious and would no doubt die in a few minutes without my assistance. I staggered over to the furnace, dumped the first few barrels of gore into its interior, lit it and left. There was no way I could go back into Ponyville the way that I was even in the dead of night, but after spending so long in that room, just being outside was relieving enough to temporarily put my mind at ease.

Again I was convinced the vision would end and I would finally wake up, or at least I would follow my past self out into the field where I had laid down and wept, but even as I left the room, my vision remained. This was bizarre. Up until this point it had just seemed like I was following my own experiences in third person, but I had never seen the room after I left it. None of it was stored in my memory. Nevertheless, the dream continued in vivid detail, right down to Forte's shallow breathing. After a little while, he spoke to himself.
"So this is how it all ends, eh? So many adventures; So many unsolvable mysteries put to rest, and this is the one that takes me. Why didn't I figure it out? Everypony back home will have to go on without me just because I failed here? No; I'll be damned if I let myself die here on this floor. I want to die in someplace beautiful, not here." I had never heard any of those words spoken before at any point in my life. They had to be born from my imagination, but they seemed so genuine. They didn't feel like dying words I would dream up.
"I've been in tighter situations than this. There is always a way out." His eye darted around the room, before warily landing on the furnace to his right.
"Not so easy this time, eh?" He began crawling toward the furnace, his shallow breathing going at a much faster rate. He winced and grunted in pain, but reached his destination. A tear slipped from his eye and he looked afraid.
"I can do this..." he whispered to himself. After a moment of hesitation he pressed the right side of his face into the burning hot metal of the furnace. He screamed at the top of his lungs and held it there for a few seconds before falling away, laughing and sobbing pathetically. It took him a few seconds to calm down.
"Pain... Pain is an abstract... It's only as powerful as you let it be." He flung his face against the furnace again, screaming just as loud as before, but without remorse this time. His face was hardened into a look of determination, and he obviously meant to go all the way through with this.

Time blurred and skipped and when it came back into focus, Cognitious Forte was lying on the floor with a face even more disfigured than before. His cheek was gone, revealing his jaw. His skin was a knotted mix of bloody muscle tissue and charred black flesh. Most disturbing was the hollow eye socket, still dripping with blood. The most severe of the wounds however, had been sealed shut. The light streaming through the door was the light of dusk. He must have passed out from shock and spent the day recovering. Slowly he got to his feet and staggered toward the door, used his mane to cover the disfigured side of his face and grabbed his old fedora in his mouth as an afterthought.

All of this happened in such vivid detail, but there was no way any of it could be true. I couldn't possibly have any of that information stored in my sub-conscious, so I had to be fabricating it. Just then, a voice whispered in my ear.
"You would be surprised what can slip into your head when you're asleep."
"Who are you?" I called out.
"Somepony of consequence you might say. I'm stuck here in your head, and I might as well make myself comfy, don't you think?"
"You're a figment of my imagination. Go away. I want to wake up now."
"Oh how I wish that were true. Unfortunately I really am in your head. Or rather, part of me is. I live life as two separate ponies now, but neither is really me, or really living for that matter."
"What are you even talking about?"
"Let's just say that the detective won't be the only ghost from the past come to haunt you. Enough about me though; Let's get to know you better. We're going way back. Right back to the beginning."
As if on cue, the walls and floors folded away to reveal and endless black hole that only went down, and with that I fell into the unknown depths of my mind that waited below.