//------------------------------// // Chapter 2 // Story: Behind Closed Doors // by OrphiusOlyandra //------------------------------// Being nocturnal sucks. I could hear Trixie moving around in the kitchen humming something to herself, no doubt doing some kinda sexy almost-dance, and all I wanted to do was go to bed. Outside I could hear ponies leaving their apartments, heading off to a happy day at work, cheerily helloing their neighbors as they passed. I wanted to murder all of them. Trixie was up with me for most of the night, but somehow, she managed to be way too fucking perky for a pony running on four hours of sleep at best. I stood up blearily from the couch and stepped away from it into the bathroom. I’m not the prettiest gryphon I know even on the best of days, but right now, even Trixie would have trouble finding me sexy with crooked feathers, bloodshot and baggy eyes, plus a heavy scowl on my beak. I splashed some water in my face, hoping to wake up a bit, but it didn’t work. Yeah, I’m gonna need a nap today. With a sigh I went back out to the lounge room and tried to stretch out a bit in order to limber myself up a little. When that didn’t help, I tried a few exercises, nothing big, just some pushups and sit-ups to get the blood moving a little. It helped a bit, but I still felt way too tired. “Ughhhhh,” I groaned as I stood up again. “Fuck you, Nightmare.” With a loud yawn, I turned around and stepped into the kitchen. I made a beeline for the fridge and dug out a can of some shitty energy drink. I sipped it and my beak curled in disgust, but I kept downing the drink as I sat down at the bench. I hate overly sweet flavors, but I’m practically addicted to these shitty drinks. “Morning,” I said to Trixie after the caffeine started to kick in. “You know you should sleep more,” said Trixie as she gave me a light kiss on the beak. “You look half dead.” “Sorry,” I muttered. “I think I got... maybe an hour in after you went to bed.” I yawned again and rubbed my eyes as I stretched. “I got up and did some exercise to tire myself out, but that didn’t work. Spent the rest of the night on the couch, waiting for you to get up.” After a moment, I shrugged and smiled at her. “How’d you sleep?” “Decently enough. Trixie dreamed about something, but she can’t recall it now, all she remembers was that it was very weird and very awkward.” With her magic, she piled up enough pancakes for two on a plate and slid them onto the table. “Why’d you sleep on the couch? The Great and powerful Trixie too intimidating for you?” “I didn’t want to wake you up by trying to climb back into bed. I figure if one of us is getting executed today, then at least one of us should be well rested.” I drained the rest of the can and tossed it into the bin. “Fuck, I hate that stuff. Has the paper come in yet?” “Yep.” She tossed it at me. “You could always just drink coffee.” “I hate coffee even worse,” I muttered as I unfolded the paper. “Did we get mentioned? ‘Two crazies assault guards’, or something like that?” “Trixie hasn’t read it yet.” There was a pause before she groaned in annoyance. “And why do I keep slipping back? I thought I had gotten over that.” “Old habits die hard?” I answered as I flipped through the pages. “Keep working at it, you’ll get there eventually.” Glancing up at her, I noticed she wasn’t wearing her cape and hat. I know she doesn’t wear it when she’s home, but I’d gotten so used to seeing her in it that it just feels weird when she’s not. Like I should politely avert my eyes or something until she’s dressed. I flipped through the paper some more, till I came to a page that made me frown. “Hey, Trix... was there some sort of meeting at the palace last night?” “How would Trixie know?” she said. “Those nobles makes Trixie want to turn them all into toads or something.” “Well there was one. Just a bunch of ponies talking about the gryphon refugees and what they plan on doing with them.” I frowned as I read more. “And I’m thinking maybe I should have gone...” “Well is there another meeting coming up?” asked Trixie. “Perhaps we can go to that one.” “Look at this shit...” I cleared my throat, “Prince Blueblood had this to say: ‘These gryphons treat their females as nothing more than property to be passed around like a common vase and it is absolutely deplorable. Do we want these beings preying on the delicate mares of Equestria? And what about the fillies that do not know any better? Surely all good parents would be concerned over letting their filly go to the same school as a gryphon!’ Racist fucking...” I growled. “Alright, maybe he’s got a point, but even then it’s not as bad as all that, and that shit about sharing schools? That’s complete crap. What the fuck is wrong with those ponies?” I shoved the paper away. Trixie picked it up and began scanning the article. “Well this ‘DJ Pon-Three’ apparently got thrown out for correcting Princess Luna, yelling at Blueblood and some other stuff.” “Sounds like my kinda mare,” I replied. “Honestly, put me in a room with a Blueblood and give me five minutes. I might not change his mind about the ‘gryphons are evil’ thing, but I’ll sure as fuck enjoy it.” “So you’ll just prove his point,” replied Trixie as she took a bite from her breakfast. I shifted in my seat. “Well... shut up. Most gryphons aren’t like me... I mean, I might be a murderer, but I’m the exception, damn it! The average gryphon’s a perfectly decent sentient that just wants to make a living. Sure, a lot of them are soldiers, but soldiers aren’t automatically bad guys, heck, all the decent guys I know are soldiers.” “But compared to ponies?” she asked. “Look, I’m not saying he’s right, but Equestrians will never have met a gryphon properly let alone interacted with them. The whole meat eating thing tends to be a huge turn off.” “And? Gryphons are sentients who deserve kindness and respect just as much as any pony. I don’t know about most ponies, but I know in the Kingdom they teach this thing called loyalty. Gryphons have stood in for ponies in every single Equestrian conflict for the last three centuries. Even a thousand years ago, gryphons got involved in the war against Nightmare Moon. It’s complete bullshit that ponies think of gryphons like they do, especially given the fact that it was Luna who fucked Aviana in the first place.” “Probably why she’s on the side of the gryphons. Look here, apparently she talked about a ‘gryphon she held in high esteem’ when it came to using someone versus somepony.” Trixie even highlighted the section for me. I just scowled at it. “I hope she’s talking about someone else... I don’t want her respect, of all ponies.” “Unlikely, but some respect is surely better than no respect. Plus, it’s the respect of a Princess. How many beings can say they’ve got that?” I knew she was trying to cheer me up, and I really wanted to smile, but my heart just wasn’t in it. “And how many sentients can say they’ve got a princess that wants to kill them?” I glanced at that picture of Celestia that the paper had printed. “What did I even do to her, anyway?” “Trixie highly doubts she wants to kill you, but if she does, Trixie has already taken on one goddess, what’s another?” she smirked at me. “Trixie is not letting you go without a fight and definitely not to some prissy winged unicorn.” I snorted out a laugh at that. “Sure you will, Trix. Celestia and Luna together, along with Cadance and the Elements of Harmony don’t stand a chance against you on a good day.” I nudged her shoulder. “And may the ancestors help them if they try to take me away while you’re using me as a blanket.” With a scowl, she poked me in the chest. “You better believe it! Trixie is Great and Powerful for a reason.” “And that reason has nothing to do with foalhood trauma and a massive inferiority complex,” I said in an agreeingly enthusiastic tone. “Exactly!” she said before blinking. “Wait, what?” Just then I heard the sound of lots of hooves. I held up a talon to silence Trixie, and stepped into the living room to listen more closely. Yep, after a second I heard the sound of clanking armor. I stepped back into the kitchen and turned to Trixie. “Sounds like the guards are here.” A second later, there was a knock at the front door. “City guard, open up.” Sighing I glanced at Trixie. “You want to get that, or should I?” “I’ll get it.” Her horn glowed and her female gryphon illusion appeared over her body and I felt a slight tinge as she threw some sort of disguise over me. Then, with an all too seductive sway of her hips at me, she trotted over to the door and opened it up. “Oh my! Guards, however can I be of assistance?” There was a beat of silence before the guard said, “Are you Gilda Gryphon?” “No, that’s not her,” another voice said. “This gryphon’s too short and doesn’t have the right colors.” The original voice shushed him and then said, “Do you live with or know a gryphon named Gilda?” “I’m sorry, but that name doesn’t ring any bells,” replied Trixie. “Darling, do you know of any gryphons called ‘Gilda’?” I came out into the lounge probably looking like a male. “Afraid I don’t.” My voice was deeper, more masculine. “I think there might be another gryphon on the floor below.” In the doorway was... actually, I couldn’t see all the guards. Wow, there were a lot, filling the entire hallway and probably standing in the stairwell. Standing near the front was a unicorn with the tasseled helmet of a guard captain. He frowned at us for a moment, before he glanced over his shoulder. “This is the right address isn’t it?” he said to someone out of sight. A voice that sounded oddly familiar answered, “Yes. Third floor, apartment 14.” “Ah, no. This is the fifth floor I’m afraid,” I smiled at the captain. “You’d be after the apartment right below ours.” The captain glanced between me and Trixie, frowning. After a second he turned around. “Chip, get over here.” One of the soldiers Trixie beat up last night stepped forward. He had a massive black eye, and I had to hide a smirk. “Are either of these the gryphon?” “...I’m not sure, they all look the same to me, sir.” The racist asshole frowned at the two of us. “But I don’t think these are them.” The captain glared at the back of his head. “You’re a disgrace to the guard.” With a roll of his eyes, he turned around. “Looks like somepony miscounted the floor. Everypony back up, down the stairs.” The mass of guards started to awkwardly shuffle down the stairs to the fourth floor when another voice shouted out, “Wait!” A moment later the nightkin from last night stepped forward. He glanced between me and Trixie, before I felt the shadows in the room shift under his control. His eyes burned black, and he watched me and Trixie for a second. “Their shadows are misshapen,” He said to the captain. “They’re both disguised with a magical illusion.” Shit. “‘Their shadows are misshapen’?” The battered guard named Chip, spat. “What kind of mumbo jumbo is that?” “It’s the truth,” the nightkin snapped back with venom in his voice. “Illusion spells don’t cast a true shadow, no matter how skillfully made it is. Any nightkin can tell the difference between a living being’s shadow, and a trick of the light.” Fuck, fuck, fuck fuck- The captain turned around and looked between the two of us. After a second he cast his own spell, and in the corner of my vision I saw Trixie’s disguise spell flicker, but hold. It didn’t matter though, he saw the tiny shift and the gig was up. “Gilda Gryphon, and Trixie Lulamoon, you’re both under arrest,” he said firmly, his head lowering and his horn pointing directly at me. Trixie glanced over at me, before her eyes darted back to the guard then at the table we had beside the door. It was clear that she was waiting for me to make the call as to whether we were going to make a run or if we were going to go peacefully. I glanced at the number of guard, checked the window over my shoulder. What would we get out of running? Not a lot. We’d go back to living on the road, that’s what would happen. Assuming we could escape, I did not want the rest of Trixie’s life, or mine, on the run from the guard, having to move to Zebrica or something just to find a place we could stay and build a life for ourselves. With a sigh I shook my head at Trixie. If we were relying on Luna to get us out of this, assaulting guards in an escape attempt wasn’t going to make it easier for her. “We’ll come peacefully,” I said and looked over at Trixie. “If we must,” said Trixie. “But do not believe this means you have bested the Great and Powerful Trixie!” I groaned but smiled at her as my legs were fastened together with magic and a couple of earth pony guards held me down. “Just go with it, Trix.” “Do you see Trixie fighting back?” she asked before growling as one of the guards began binding her. “And do not think Trixie does not know her rights, and hooves off, buster.” “You have the right to remain silent,” one of the guards said through gritted teeth. “Please use it.” “Hey, fuckface.” My wings were pinned to my sides in a magic lock. “Say shit like that to her again, and I’ll fucking find you.” “Gilda, calm down,” said Trixie before she fixed a glare at one of the guards. “And if any of you so much as touch her, Trixie will show you exactly why she has the title of Great and Powerful.” “Sweet fucking Celestia,” The same guard groaned as I was thrown over his back to be carried away. “What do you eat?” “Are you insulting Trixie’s cooking? How dare you! Trixie will have you know they are nutritious meals packed full of vitamins and minerals, and one hundred percent healthy unlike the slop that you no doubt eat.” “Trix, only you would be insulted by someone else calling me fat,” I glanced over at the guard. “Which is total bullshit by the way, I’d take you in a fight any day.” He didn’t respond, just kept trudging down the stairs. “Trixie hopes it isn’t common practice to insult your captives, and Trixie will be telling Luna about the horrible treatment we have both received thus far. We are agents of the Crown, we have seen things that belong in Tartarus and fought monsters be-” “Trixie!” I shouted, interrupting her. “Does the phrase ‘state secret’ mean anything to you? I’m pretty sure spouting Luna and Celestia’s ancient, classified, secret-under-pain-of-death, information won’t help us out!” To my surprise, Trixie fell silent and for a brief second, I actually thought she had listened, but then she yelled at the top of her lungs, “This is a miscarriage of justice! We demand a fair trial! We demand to see our lawyers! You haven’t told us why we’re being arrested! Racism! Elitism! That’s what this is! You see a gryphon and immediately assume she’s guilty! Where’s our justice!?” With each word she yelled, more and more spectators began crowding around, peering down curiously at us. There was even a camera flash from somewhere. “Trixie!” I shouted again, “You’re not-” “Shut both of them up!” snapped the captain. “Gag them!” I blinked in shock. “Are you fucking with me? I will fucking-” A gag wrapped around my beak and tied it shut. Behind me I heard Trixie yell, “How dare you! Speech is a free act! It is a fundamental right! How dare you sil-” We were moving through the streets now, a crowd had surrounded us and a lot of ponies were whispering angrily. Sure, more walked past without even blinking, but we were getting enough attention to put the guards on edge. Some voice shouted out, “Racist pigs!” and there were a couple of shouts of agreement. Around us I could hear the growing attention as some of the more outraged ponies were following, glaring angrily. “Stay back! City business!” shouted the captain. It didn’t help. As they carried us, they attracted a growing crowd of spectators. It wasn’t everypony that passed, but it was obvious they were getting more attention than they considered acceptable. The nightkin stepped closer to the captain. “Sir, I recommend we undo the gags.” “And let that unicorn start a riot?” The guard glanced at him in annoyance. “Get back in line.” “Racist!” yelled a voice from the crowd. “Ignore the nightkin why don’tcha?” The captain glared out at the crowd, but turned his angry gaze towards the bat pony. The nightkin glared right back, but fell back to walk alongside the pony carrying me. “Fool,” he muttered to himself as he glanced around at the crowd surrounding us. Eventually, the castle came into sight and as we approached the gates, more guards appeared to keep the crow out. Not before a bunch of photos were taken, of me especially, and one particularly determined reporter had to be forcibly removed. We passed through the big front doors, and took a left before we arrived at the main throne room. Oh, great. The dungeons. Again. I’d been there two times already, I remembered the lefts and rights through the palace. Soon we arrived at the familiar down flight of stairs, and in short order, me and Trixie were sitting in separate cells. Still gagged and tied up. Apparently they didn’t plan on keeping us here for long. The nightkin was looking at me weirdly. Staring at my eyes, and shifting uncomfortably whenever I made eye contact with him. I got the impression he was uncomfortable with arresting a ‘fellow nightkin’ or something. A few awkward moments later, the sound of hooves echoed through the dungeons, and a second later Luna came into the room, followed by Celestia. The guard captain turned to them. “Your majesties’.” He bowed low, as did all the other guards, before brandishing a hoof towards us. “The suspects.” Celestia’s eyes twitched to the nightkin, then rested on me for a second, her expression unreadable, before she turned to Luna. She didn’t say anything, but I got the impression they had an entire conversation with just one look. A moment later Luna stepped forward. “Captain Pauldron, might We enquire as to why these two are gagged and tied up? We thought our instructions were to escort them to the Palace, not treat them like criminals. Please, if thou hath some sort of wisdom or divination, which We lack, We would greatly appreciate thou sharing it,” said Luna. The guard hesitated. “They resisted arrest, and didn’t cooperate when we tried to bring them to the palace.” My eyes bugged and I shouted in protest. “‘at’s ‘om’l’ee ‘ull-shi’!” “Someone please remove the gags, untie them, and bring them water,” said Luna. “Also, We never ordered thou to arrest them. Once again, perhaps some divination thou hast gleamed?” “I-I-I... When we arrived at the location, the unicorn cast a spell trying to convince us they were somepony else. I made a decision to treat them as hostile in order to preserve the wellbeing of the stallions under my command. You did warn me that they are to be considered extremely dangerous.” “‘ull shi’!” I shouted through my gag, which I couldn’t help but notice they still hadn’t undone. “Did they make any threatening movements?” asked Luna. I shook my head and held up my claws. “‘Uren’ered’!” “Uh... Well, you see your Highness... She had a rather threatening... tone?” One of the unicorns finally started to undo my cuffs, and I ripped off my gag the moment my claws were free. “Fucking bullshit!” I shouted. “We surrendered! I put my claws behind my head while you had four of your douchebags hold me down!” Luna chuckled and shook her head. “How boring Our days hath been since we last met. Now Pauldron, We understand Gilda can be intimidating at times, but please treat her with respect.” The dark alicorn tilted her head towards Celestia. “Now sister, We believe thou hath something to ask? It would be shame to keep thee from thy duties for longer than necessary.” Celestia stepped forward very calmly and politely asked, “Pauldron... why is there the makings of a riot at the Castle doorstep?” Pauldron gulped. “When... The unicorn started to shout loudly enough to draw attention, we decided to quieten them. The gryphon also refused to quieten, hence the gags. Apparently the sight of u-” “So thou decided to exacerbate the situation when thou knew we have been dealing with issues around gryphons,” groaned Luna before turning to the nightkin. “Eclipse, please gather a squadron of nightkin to reassure them that Gilda is fine and will be out shortly. Hopefully seeing something other than ponies in charge will help diffuse the situation.” The nightkin bowed, before glancing at me one last time and leaving. Celestia sighed and shook her head. “If you’ll excuse me, sister, I have a royal address to prepare. Try to... placate them. See if you can calm the two of them down enough to be presentable to the public. We need to step on this before those photos go to press and the news spreads that the Crown endorses mistreatment of the non-equine.” With that, she turned and elegantly walked back up the stairs. “Pauldron, We have no doubt Trixie antagonized the situation, but thy handling of the situation is less than tasteful. Thou art relieved of thy duty for the rest of the day, meet us in our office after dinner. Dismissed.” Luna turned her attention to us. “We are sorry for thy treatment, though We art curious as to thy reaction.” “Pretty fucking pissed is my reaction,” I glared at her. “You could have just sent a messenger with a summons or something.” “We thought a royal escort was the correct response due to thy position. Is this no longer the case?” I frowned at her. “Have you gotten even more retarded? You sent a squadron of guards to retrieve an experienced criminal that’s already done jail time.” A moment later I facepalmed. “How did you think I was gonna react? I thought I was being arrested!” “Arrested for what?” she asked. “Actually We do not wish to know. The less We know, the better.” I blinked at her. “Wait... so this isn’t about last night?” “Last night?” Luna looked at me quizzically. All of a sudden Trixie burst out laughing. “They’re embarrassed! Think about it! Totally embarrassed.” I paused, before I breathed a sigh of relief and leaned back. “Crap. And I was worried there for a bit.” I stood up and approached Luna. “So then... seeing as how absolutely nothing happened last night, what’s this about?” “We wish to make thee part of the Royal Guard.” I stared at her for a moment. “...” I tilted my head to the left. “What?” “Trixie frankly agrees. Why Gilda and not the Great and Powerful Trixie?” “Thy status as both a nightkin and gryphon. Once thou hath made it through basic training, thy record would be expunged... again, and thou would possess a high ranking position within the hierarchy from there, thou wouldst recruit gryphons into the guard, as well as zebras, minotaurs, and other beings. It is our wish to have a diverse guard that is more representative of the community we serve.” I stared at her for another moment. “What?” “Has she taken a hit to her head recently?” Luna asked Trixie. “Maybe Trixie has smacked the back of her head too hard lately...” “No, I fucking understand you,” I growled, “I’m just confused about what the fuck would make you think you I would ever agree to that.” “Better lodging, more money, the job may result in thou moving outside of Canterlot to look for potential recruits, and it would put gryphons into a good light.” Luna fixed that knowing look of hers on me. “Thy absence from last night’s meeting was most curious and We hath no doubt that thou still feels loyalty to thy species.” “Since when have I ever been selfless like that?” I stepped away and sat on the bed in the cell with my arms folded. “I’m not interested.” “Gilda?” Trixie walked into the cell and sat on the bed next to me. She placed a hoof on my shoulder. “Are you certain?” “Absolutely,” I glared at Luna. “I want absolutely nothing to do with you ever again. In fact, I’m pretty sure we had a deal, where I never ever had to see you again.” “We merely figured that thou would like the opportunity to do something constructive with your life,” snapped Luna. After a second she sighed and ran a hoof through her mane. “We art sorry, that was uncalled for. Despite everything, We do respect both of thee and We do believe you could go very far in life, do many great things if thou applied thyself.” “Why? Because of our mind blowing social skills?” I deadpanned. “The last time we saw each other, it was at the end of the single worst experience of my lifetime, dragged out over months. And whose fault was that?” Luna merely waved us off with a hoof. “Regardless, thou art now in the middle of this mess one way or another. We would just like thee to know the offer is always open if thou ever change thy mind.” She began fading into the shadows. “Also, please stop humiliating our guards, it is rather demoralizing for them, despite it being a good practical lesson.” And just like that, she was gone. “Trixie thinks you should have taken her up on her offer,” she said after a moment of silence. I scoffed. “Why? So she can ruin my life again?” “Because you can do so much more than just being a bouncer in some back alley bar,” replied Trixie as she nuzzled me. “You can be so much more if you just tried.” Rolling my eyes, I stood up and stepped out of the cell. “Whatever you say, Trix. Let’s just go home.” “You’re not mad... are you?” “I’m pissed at Luna, but I’m not mad you.” I shook my head in disgust as we went up the stairs and into the corridors of the castle proper. “Who does she think she is, lecturing me?” “Um... the Princess of Equestria?” said Trixie. “Yeah well... fuck her anyway.” I shrugged. “I don’t owe her shit.” “Never said you did.” Trixie sighed and leaned against me. “Why can’t life be simple for once? Still think you should have accepted though, you would totally look hot in a guard’s outfit.” “Oh...” I grinned down at her. “So that’s why you wanted me to join.” “N-No! The money, the fame, the glory, the- Oh, alright, that’s totally why Trixie wanted you to join, rather than, you know, putting your skills to use in a productive and constructive manner.” She gave me a flat look. “You have me mixed up with someone that has ambition, wants to help others, never attempted suicide, and didn’t kill their own brother.” “Gilda, if you didn’t want to help others, you never would have gone back for Grace, tried to help everygryph escape the city, and most certainly would not have tried so hard to keep Trixie alive.” “Everyone.” I corrected. “There were ponies in Aviana too, you know... Look, Trix... No. Alright? No. Luna couldn’t have picked anyone worse if she tried.” “Trixie frankly disagrees, under all that sourness, there is a very noble knight.” She poked me in the chest. “Just don’t you dare remove any of those fluffy feathers.” I blinked at her in confusion. “How would I get rid of my coat and feathers? Are you worried I’ll shave them off or something? I’m self-destructive, Trix, not retarded.” Face meet hoof. Even after all this time, I still had no idea how she managed to walk like that. “See? I just said something stupid. I don’t know what it was, but apparently it was dumb.” I turned ahead and picked up my pace to pull ahead of Trixie. “Yes, yes you did.” Trixie sighed. “And where was our water? Luna promised us water!” “Can’t we just get water back at our apartment? Or on the way there? If we take water from her, it’ll probably be spiked with nightkin juice version two or some shit.” “Gilda!” Trixie looked nervously at the nearby guards and servants. Rolling my eyes, I groaned. “Right, right. Yeah, state secrets and all that shit we shouldn’t have to deal with anymore.” We stepped out the front door into the courtyard and I froze. “Woah.” There were a lot of ponies... like, a whole lot. They were all standing around, shouting and making noise by stomping their hooves and glaring at the guards that stood between them and the palace. A bunch of reporters hovered around with cameras, taking the occasional snapshot. When they saw me and Trix, there was a cry of, “There they are!” “Ah, shit,” I groaned. “Still not too late to accept Luna’s offer,” she whispered as she waved happily at the crowd. With a growl I stepped forward. “No.” As we came closer a handful of reporters shouted out questions at us. “Sir!” One mare with a brunette mane shoved her way to the front. “Sir! Why were you under arrest?! Were you mistreated?” I groaned and facepalmed. “I’m female.” The mare froze for a moment, before she continued anyway, “Ma’am! Could you answer some questions for the Canterlot Herald?” Another mare suddenly shoved herself in front of my face. “Ma’am! I’m Snapshot from the Las Pegasus Gazette, why were you arrested? Rumor has it this was an arrest based on raci-” “-dsdale Times, what are your views on your treatm-” “Alright, just... back off a bit!” I shouted and tried to back away. “Everyone calm down!” I clapped my claws over my ears and looked back at Trixie, who was standing on a box with her horn glowing. “Thank you. The Great and Powerful Trixie- yes that is her legitimate title- will be answering any and all questions on behalf of her client, Gilda of the Great Scars. Please raise a hoof if you have a question, and this can be done in an orderly manner. Now, there is no doubt all of you are wondering what is going on, the simple answer is that it was a miscommunication between the guard and Princess Luna. Her Majesty, Keeper of the Stars, Banisher of Nightmares, blah, blah, blah-” Gasps were heard all around at Trixie’s blatant disregard for Luna’s titles, but I couldn’t help, but smirk. “-asked Gilda to form a new branch of the guard, but the guards apparently ‘mistook’ this as an order of arrest. Whether this was due to the inherent racism of the guard captain or a ‘misunderstanding’ is uncertain at this point in time. My client, being the modest citizen that she is, declined the offer feeling she wasn’t worthy of it. Now, any questions?” “Miss Gilda!” The original pushy mare raised her hoof. “Why would Princess Luna offer you a position? What qualifications do you have? And in turning down her offer are you questioning her judgment?” I blinked in surprise. “Uh... I... Uh...” I looked over my shoulder at Trixie. “Help?” “Gilda refused because she felt her qualifications were not good enough for the position. Personally, The Great and Powerful Trixie believes that is absolute rubbish, but Gilda was adamant on that point. No doubt you all read the shining endorsement Luna-” More gasps. “-gave last night to a certain mysterious gryphon whom she respected highly.” I suddenly found myself in a spotlight as they all stared at me, but Trixie continued on. “As for why, Trixie is afraid you will have to ask Luna or Princess Celestia for clarification. We are unwilling to speculate at this moment in time.” “Miss Trixie! Your client has reptilian eyes, does that mean there’s a connection between her and the nightkin? Does this mean Luna is creating nightkin gryphons for intervention in the Gryphon Kingdom’s brewing civil war?” “That is absolutely ridiculous and Trixie will say it now, those eyes are the result of a magical mishap her mother was involved in before Gilda was born. Trixie will not go into details, as it still is a traumatic experience. In fact, if you did your research, you will see Gilda still sees a psychologist over the incident and we would all appreciate it if you did not ask about it again or Trixie will advise my client to sue for harassment as well as psychological distress. Next. Question.” Another pony piped up, “Miss Trixie, do you feel it’s appropriate for a position in the guard to be offered to somepony- Sorry, I mean someone- someone, who is in need of ongoing psychiatric help?” “Part of the reason she refused the position. Two final questions.” She held up a hoof to forestall the rush. “You two, the unicorn with the red and yellow mane, and the mare with the rainbow mane.” I blinked in surprise. A rainbow mane? I only ever knew one pony that fit that description... I tried to search through the crowd, but I couldn’t see her. I guess she always was pretty short, and there were a lot of ponies. “Miss Trixie!” the unicorn she’d specified shouted out, “Does your client have any comment on the community meeting last night and any statements made there?” I shook my head at Trixie. “Gilda has no comment at this point in time. Last question.” “About time!” My ears perked up at the familiar scratchy voice. “Hey, lame-o, why haven’t you returned any of my letters? And follow up question, what does it feel like to be the second awesomest thing ever?” I cringed at that. “Uh... no comment? Can I answer the question when not in front of a crowd of strangers?” “Let me think about that. How about ‘no’!?” Just like that, Dash was in my face and before anyone could blink, she punched me. “Damn it Gilda, I’m still pissed off at you, but that did help.” I stared at her in shock for a moment, before my eye twitched. “You know what? Fuck you, Dash.” I gave her a shove and she stumbled back. “I don’t want to do this now, especially not in front of this pack of retards, and definitely not when there are ponies writing down everything I say!” “Exhibit A as to why she is not suitable for the guard,” yelled Trixie. “Alright, press conference is over, goodbye!” There was a flash of light as Trixie teleported us out of there. Appearing on the roof of our apartment, I gave her a grateful smile, even though my stomach was heaving from the teleport. “Yeah, if you’re trying to get away from me, you’re gonna have to try harder.” My head snapped up and there was Dash floating on her back lazily. I groaned and sat down. “What do you want, Dash? I’m already pissed off, and we really don’t need to do this.” “Exactly, so why don’t you leave before the Great and Po-” “Trixie, shut up, we ran you out of town once, and we can do it again,” snapped Dash. “This is between me and Gilda so go-” “Hey!” I snarled. “Don’t you fucking talk to her like that!” Dash blinked. “What is she, your mare fr- She is, isn’t she? Oh dear Celestia, Gilda and Trixie. I... wow... geez, are you sure? I mean, it’s Trixie. Trixie.” “The fuck is that supposed to mean!” I snapped back. “If you’re just here to piss me off, then congratulations, you’re doing a pretty fucking good job! Piss off, Dash!” “Okay, okay, geez. It’s just- Wait, don’t tell me you two have adopted a foal. I mean, sure, if you want to destroy the world, I suppose you could do that, but dude. Can you imagine how that’d turn out? Talk about issues.” Dash landed before me and Trixie immediately took a step forward, something the pegasus completely ignored. “Also, wicked eyes, looks great on you.” I grit my beak and stared up at the sky, begging for patience and barely stopping a growl of anger. “Trixie... Do me a favor and... just... give me a sec to deal with Dash.” After a moment I added, “Please?” Trixie opened her mouth, before slowly closing it again and nodding. As she made her way towards the stairway down, she kept throwing backward looks at me, concern written all over her face. I waved her off, trying to let her know it’d be fine, but not even really convincing myself. When she was out of sight, I turned around and stared at Dash without saying anything. I knew if I did say something, it’d probably just be a scream of frustration. “Well... damn... either you’ve got her totally whipped or she actually cares about something other than herself.” “Don’t talk. About her. Like that.” I hissed. “What. The fuck. Do you want?” “What do I want!?” She was suddenly in my face again. “How about you taking some bucking time to reply to my letters? Actually, you know what? Fuck you. I don’t even know why I bothered.” She threw her wings open, ready to fly off. “What letters?” I snapped. “I didn’t get any, probably because I moved!” “Oh.” Her wings slowly closed and she smiled at me sheepishly. “Um... sorry?” “Yeah well... whatever.” I snapped back. “Look, a lot of shit happened, alright? If you sent anything I haven’t seen it so... lay off.” “Oh come on, I bet you a thousand bits I’ve been through worse,” said Dash. “Come on, we had freaking Cerberus in town the other day.” I just rolled my eyes. “Whatever you say, dude. What are you doing in Canterlot anyway?” “You know hanging out, a bit of this, a bit of that, nothing that exciting.” I gave her a glance before shrugging and rolling my eyes. “Well, seeing as how you’ve gone to all the trouble of stopping by, have you got an actual reason for chasing me down?” “You know, the world doesn’t actually revolve around you,” said Dash. I just raised an eyebrow at her. “You’re the one telling me that? As in, self-declared ‘awesomest pony ever’ Rainbow Dash.” “Hey! What’s that supposed to mean? The world totally revolves around me, rather literally actually. My awesomeness makes the world spin, you know.” A smile found its way onto my beak despite myself. “Sounds like you haven’t changed a bit.” “Why change what’s already awesome?” Dash held out a hoof towards me, an eyebrow cocked. “Come on, you know you want to.” “Know that I want to what?” I replied with a flat look. “Come on, don’t leave me hanging,” she said with an eye roll. With a chuckle, I bumped her hoof. “So... seriously, what do you want?” “Nothing, can’t I just hang out with an old friend?” I tilted my head at her. “We’re still friends? That’s news to me.” “Well, maybe once you apologise to Pinkie, but sure, why not? I am the Element of Loyalty you know and tossing you aside is definitely not cool or loyal.” I snorted and turned around. “Fuck that bitch, I ain’t apologizing to her, or you.” That got me a kick in the rump. “Seriously G? Seriously?” “Yeah, seriously,” I replied. “Are you gonna apologise to me, or to Trix? No? Then I’m not gonna either.” “H-Hey now, I’ll totally apologise to Trixie if she apologises first,” said Dash. I laughed at that and turned around to face her. “So then you’re not gonna apologise to her? ‘Cause I’ll bet you right now she won’t.” “Hey, she’s the one who bought an ursa minor into Ponyville, wrecked a couple of houses—mine included—and then ran off. I mean, come on! If anything, I should get the apology first.” “The way she tells it, she wasn’t the one that brought the Ursa to town, and she even tried to help get rid of it.” “If by help you mean piss it off then sure.” Dash gave me a flat look. I shrugged. “I wasn’t there, so I wouldn’t know. What I do know is I’m not apologising to you, and neither is Trixie.” “Fine, whatever then.” Dash leapt into the air and blasted away with enough force to make me stumble. I watched her trail disappear before I sighed and walked down the stairs. Well that’s one already-burned bridge set on fire again. I’d gotten over Dash months ago, and I hadn’t expected this to turn into some kind of ‘forgive and forget’ deal, but it still hurt a bit to be reminded of all the reasons we were friends in the first place and then have her fly away again. Well, I suppose I flew away the first time, but whatever. “Fucking Tartarus...” I muttered as I pushed open the door to our apartment and stepped in. “And the day hasn’t even really started yet.” I found Trixie in the lounge waiting for me. When she saw me she immediately noticed my face and hugged me tight around the neck. I hugged her back. “Don’t worry, Trix. Everything’s fine, nothing’s changed.” “If you say so.” She kissed me lightly on the beak. “What a day... can I go to bed now? I’ve had enough of this crap for one day.” “Of course you can, just make sure to shower first alright?” Then she looked up at me with those eyes of hers. “And keep the door open.” I cracked a smile at her. “Trix, I’m so tired I can barely think straight. I’d probably just fall asleep halfway through.” “Not in the shower I hope,” she shot back. “Now go, sleep. I’ll have dinner ready for you when you wake up.” “Thanks,” I nuzzled her cheek and headed into the bathroom to clean myself up a bit. I rolled my eyes at the towel Trixie left balled up on the floor, but decided I couldn’t be bothered mentioning it to her. After having a shower and drying myself off, I stepped into the bedroom and collapsed onto our mattress. It was all of five seconds before I was out like a light. “Thank you! Thank you all!” I stood on top of my console, blowing kisses and waving my hooves above my head. “I’ll be here all tomorrow night as well, so bring your friends! Especially if they’re gryphons or zebras or something exotic like that. That’d spice up this place! Plus, have you seen some of those gryphonesses? Youch! Talk about hot. This is DJ Pon-3 signing out!” Instead of jumping off the equipment, I did a forward flip, landing on my front hooves, and walked along the stage. The crowd cheered louder than ever as I slowly lifted up my right leg, balancing myself on nothing but a single hoof before I finally vanished in a burst of green magic. “Hey Melody, see those wicked beats and that crowd?” I must have been oozing pure joy and satisfaction because she actually smiled for once. “Not your best, but it was passable.” “Passable? Ha!” Trotting past, I bumped my flank against hers. “I totally bought the roof down so hard it destroyed the foundations. It was a slaughter out there.” “If you say so. Now go home to your lovely marefriend, you’ve earned your pay.” “Yes ma’am!” I gave her a mock salute as I made my way around back, making sure to toss on my hoodie in the process. Before I left though, I made sure to stop by the bar to grab a drink and watch the crowd for a while. There was always so much raw emotion in this place, and I always made sure to soak it up a bit before going home. Just seeing them dancing and laughing away filled me with a warm fuzzy feeling. “Scraaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaatchy!” A pink form exploded out of nowhere and I was glomped in a massive hug. I was pulled off my hooves and hugged against her as she spun around shouting, “Scratchy-Scratchy-Scratchy!” “C-Can’t breathe,” I wheezed out. She let go me mid-spin, and I was thrown to the ground where she bounced over to lean way too close to my face. “Did’ja miss me, Scratchy?” “Um... yes...?” I replied as I leaned away. “You did? Really?” Her grin grew wider than her face. Somehow. “Aww... I missed you too!” Wrong answer! Wrong answer! Abort now! “S-Sure. Look... um... I kinda need to be g-” “Ooh! Have you met Dashie or Jackie ! No you haven’t! You need to meet Dashie and Jackie!” Before I knew what happened, she grabbed my hoof and dragged me across the dance floor. “Come on Scratchy!” “H-Hey!” For such a curvy looking mare, she had a surprisingly strong grip and I was dragged along like some sort of pet. She didn’t even seem to notice me, humming happily as she smoothly weaved through dancing ponies. “Rarity said you were in the papers this morning, and that you were uncouth, but I said, ‘No, the Scratchy I know would never be uncouth because she’s super nice and cool, and I don’t even know what couth is, but I’m sure it’s important, so she’d never be ‘un’ it,’ and she said-” She gasped and rose a foot into the air before she turned around and pressed right up against my face again. “Does uncouth mean unmean? Because if it does I’m sorry for saying you weren’t unmean which would be saying that you’re mean.” It took all my willpower not to spank the bubbly mare right there and then. On one hoof, I might get slapped, on the other hoof, I might get laid. Win-win really... Unless Octy found out,then I was screwed beyond belief. Sometimes I swear I was drunk when I decided t- I was yanked off my hooves again and dragged through the crowd one more. Before I knew what was happening, I was planted upright in a bar seat next to Pinkie. “Scratchy, meet Jackie and Dashie!” she brandished her hoof towards a pegasus with an awesome mane, and an earth pony dressed like she came off the set of a Western. Damn it! Why must all the mares I’m introduced to be so hot? It’s like some sort of karma or something. “Hey.” I lowered my hood and gave them both a nod. “DJ Pon-3, at your service. Feel free to look, but no touching, this sexy flank is exclusive.” “Applejack,” the cowpony offered as she held out her hoof. “Pinkie sure loves the names that end with ‘-ie’.” “Rainbow Dash, coolest pony ever, and yes, that will be an actual title one of these days.” I shook both their hooves. “So, first time at Mixers? With a mane like that, I’d notice it any day. Is it natural?” “Buck yeah!” Dash grinned at me as she downed her drink in one gulp. “So how’d you know this insane pony anyways?” “Oh! I know everypony!” Pinkie answered for me. “Scratchy played at Rarity’s fashion show one time!” “Y-Yeah,” I replied. “Anyways, I really need to g-” “Hey... do Ah know you from somewhere?” Applejack interrupted and squinted at me. “Weren’t you the one sassin’ Princess Luna at that meetin’ last night?” “She’s drunk.” I ran my eyes over her muscular body before looking back at the other two. “She’s an earth pony, and you got her drunk. How the buck did you manage that!? Tell me! I need to know!” “Ah ain’t drunk!” Applejack jabbed her hoof at the space right next to me. “Ah... Sugar, mind standing still for a minute? Ah’m getting kinda dizzy.” “Oh!” Pinkie said with a smile. “We just made her drink a lot! And by a lot, we mean a lot, a lot. Oh! And you might want to tell your boss that you need more of the Jack Daniels. I think Jackie drank all of it.” “She drank all the Jack Daniels... What.” All I could do was stare helplessly at the earth pony. “She should be dead! That much alcohol is... I mean...” A grin slowly appeared on my face. “Say, could I borrow her for a night or two when she’s sober? I get the feeling I can make a lot of bits from people betting on how much she can drink...” “Oh this is nothing. Jackie doesn’t usually drink, but you should have seen her at the end of cider season! I thought she was gonna drown for a while there.” “Um... that’s great Pinks.” I glanced over at Rainbow Dash and saw her staring at me. “Hi?” “So what’s your deal?” Dash asked me. “Why do you care so much about the gryphons? Most ponies don’t give a crap.” “Whoa, whoa, whoa!” I began backing up. “Dude, this is bar, we don’t talk about that sorta stuff in here.” “You just announced to the world that you’d totally tap a gryphon,” she shot back. “I’d tap a gryphon!” Pinkie announced happily. “Tapping is easy!” She tapped Applejack on the shoulder with her hoof. “Tap. See? Easy. I’d tap a gryphon!” “Pinks... they’re talking ‘bout... somethin’ else.” Applejack interrupted and squinted at me. “Ah think?” “Look, we were at that meeting and we totally saw what you said,” said Dash. “Personally I agree with it, but famous ponies? They always say something because they can get something out of it. And making a scene? Definitely a publicity stunt.” “Listen here, pony ,” I hissed as I leaned in. “Maybe some of us are just nice. Maybe we’ve actually got morals under everything, so why don’t you shut your trap.” I jabbed her in the chest. “Also, you’re pretty damn famous yourself, Miss Element of Loyalty. So what’s your angle?” “Eeyup. They’re talking about angles.” AJ nodded drunkenly. “Definitely sex.” “Well unlike you, I have a gryphon friend,” she snapped back. “Ooh!” Pinkie interrupted. “You mean that big meany pants, Gilda? I didn’t know you still friends with her?” “Pinkie,” groaned Rainbow Dash. “Why don’t you take Applejack dancing?” “I’m not sure Jackie can stand up right now, Dashie...” Pinkie looked at the earth pony with concern. “Ah ain’t drunk!” Applejack declared and stood up. “Now if ya’ll will excuse me, Ah gotta use the little filly’s room...” She managed a couple of steps before she collapsed. Pinkie glanced at Dashie before she stood up and trotted over to Applejack. “Come on you silly filly, let’s get you back to the castle.” She shouted over her shoulder, “Have fun Dashie and Scratchy!” And with that the two earth ponies left. “Geez, I should go after them, knowing Pinkie, something is bound to go wrong.” Dash stood up and looked back at me. “Look, I’m staying in the castle for a couple of days. If you’re serious about helping out the gryphons, drop by and ask for me. And just for the record, I never leave a friend hanging, whether they know it or not.” “Ah...” But the pegasus had already blasted off in a blur of colors. “Okay?” A chuckle from behind me made me turn to face the bartender, a unicorn cleaning the glass with a green magic aura. “Is it really a good idea to be hanging out with them?” He tilted his head at the space Dash has just been in. “I still remember Loyalty’s got a mean right hook.” He rubbed his jaw thoughtfully. “Your own fault for pissing her off,” I chuckled. “She’s nice enough. Totally hot if you ask me.” “I didn’t ask,” the bartender replied. “Is there any particular reason you always chase mares?” “It’s called being gay, maybe you’ve heard of it,” I shot back. “Plus, mares are better in the sack anyways. So feisty and full of emotions, always putting their entire being into things. Well, most of them anyways, it’d be bad to stereotype, now wouldn’t it?” He put down the glass and focused his attention on me. “So, what happened last night? You got yourself in the papers, Pon-3. Did you stop for a minute to think it might not be the best idea to weigh in on a very public issue like that? Or do you actually care about the gryphons?” “I’m a lover of all fine females. Pony, gryphon, zebra, it doesn’t matter!” He cracked a smile at that. “No doubt, but it was still a dumb thing to do. What if she had plans?” “Octy? Hey, I was dragged there by her!” “You know that’s not who I was talking about!” He snapped. “I mean...” he glanced around the room. “You know who I meant.” “Nope. No clue.” I cleaned out my ear with a hoof. He shook his head at me and sighed. “I can never decide if you’re exceedingly clever, or exceedingly stupid.” “I’m the one, the only, DJ Pon-3!” I yelled as I threw my hooves into the air. “You’ve also got a message,” he said flatly as he handed me a slip of paper. Picking it up in my magic, I scanned it before setting it on fire. “Ah females, can’t live with them, can’t live without them. Damn it, and here I was having so much fun. I don’t suppose you could cover for me? No? Buck.” “I hear gryphons prefer ‘fuck’,” Smiling wryly, he turned around cleaning his glass and said over his shoulder, “Good luck.” “Fuck... Heh, that’s got a nice punch to it, don’t you think?” I snapped up a drink and downed it with one shot. “Anyways, later. Try not to get slapped tonight.” “Hey, that doesn’t happen that often. It’s only been... three times since the start of the year? Can’t be much more than that.” “Oh, only three?” I leaned over and slapped him. “Make that four. Later.” He glared at me in annoyance as he rubbed his cheek. “That doesn’t count.” Laughing, I waved at him over my shoulder as I trotted out of the club. Making sure to take the side exit, I avoided all the fans and quickly slipped into the lower area of Canterlot, and by lower, I mean ‘Oh look at me, I only have a silver golden spoon shoved up my ass rather than ten golden ones!’ Yeah, Canterlot was a snob fest even at the best of times. Okay, maybe that was an exaggeration, but sometimes it really felt that way. I waited around at the edge of the alley, glancing out every so often before looking up at the night sky and grumbling. To think I could be some safe and warm, wrapped in the hooves of my favorite mare, with my lips doing some innocent or not-so-innocent things. But noooooooo, I had to be out here in the cold, disgusting alley waiting for some stupid guard to come down. Bloody heck, couldn’t it have at least been a mare? Trust me, a mare in armor is totally hot. Those toned flanks, that sexy armor, the whole ‘I’m in charge and you better do what I say or else’ attitude? Totally. Hot. If only they carried a whip as part of their official equipment... I took a deep breath before tossing up a disguise and kicking the dumpster hard. After a second, I threw myself into some trash cans, deliberately amplifying the sound with my magic. Then I decided, like the genius I was, to punch myself in the stomach and the face before tossing myself out of the alley and into the street with a very realistic cry for help. And just as expected, the guard took the little act hook, line, and sinker. Damn, I should have been an actor instead of a DJ with my skills. “Ma’am, are you alright?” He asked as he stepped towards me. It was as he moved into the light that I caught sight of his leathery wings and reptilian eyes. “Do you need help?” “I... I don’t know... I think I broke my hind leg though,” I whispered, resisting the urge to gulp. Nightkin was totally not on my agenda. “What happened?” he asked as leaned down to examine my leg. After a moment he said, “It seems fine to me, can you stand?” “I-I can try.” I got onto my shaky legs, pretending to wince as I did so before letting my leg buckle under me, and he was immediately there with a hoof under my shoulder. “T-Thanks. It was some foal looking for money. Thought I was a...” I faked a blush and looked down at the ground. “A... you know... and tried to force himself on me.” A disgusted scowl lit up the nightkin’s face. “Come on. I’ll take you to the station where we can get your leg looked at, then you can describe the foal to me and I’ll make sure we find him.” “T-Thank you.” As much as I hated deceiving him, his concern was just so sweet that I couldn’t help but play along. Plus, I had been ordered to do this, and if I didn’t follow orders I was so fucked. “Your name, ma’am?” he asked as we moved out of the alley and right onto the street. He was still carrying most of my weight, and one of his wings was wrapped around me protectively. It actually felt really nice, like one of those totally awesome cloaks some costume shops sold. “Nightlight,” I lied before looking up at him through my eyelashes. “And you?” “Corporal Eclipse of the nightkin,” he replied formally and with no small amount of pride. “Do you have anypo- anyone we can contact? Any friends or relatives?” “No...” I shook my head and rested it on his muscular shoulder. “I’m an orphan...” “I’m sorry to hear that,” he replied a frown. “How old are you, ma’am?” “Eighteen,” I replied, deliberately avoiding his gaze. “...How old are you, really?” he asked after a moment’s pause. “Sixteen,” I whispered. “...And what are you doing out here alone at this time of night?” A concerned edge crept into his voice. “Um...” I rubbed the back of my hoof. “Please don’t make me go back...” “...To the orphanage?” he guessed. “Y-Yeah.” It sounded unconvincing even to me. “Your parents?” he asked after another second. “...It wasn’t a foal who did this to you, was it?” I glanced away, unable to answer that question. Sure an order was an order, and considering what was at stake if I didn’t follow through, I didn’t really have a choice. But... answering that just felt so wrong, so dirty in so many ways. “Scum stained inbreds,” he cursed, taking my silence for an answer. “Do you have anywhere else you can stay?” “Yes,” I replied. “Don’t worry, it’s safe.” He paused, considering his options. “Where, who with?” “An old friend. She’s letting me crash at her place for a while.” He shifted my weight, finding a more comfortable way to hold me up. “Are you sure that’s a good idea? Tell me who your parents are and I’ll... see what I can do. Possibly have you moved into foster care and away from them.” “No!” I yelled before adding in a smaller voice, “Please.” “I can’t do nothing,” after a moment he added, “Nightlight.” I had to hide a wince at just how concerned he sounded. “If we go to the station, you’ll be asked a lot of questions, and if you don’t answer them, you’ll only be returned to your parents...” “Could I not go in then? Please?” He pursed his lips, deep in thought. “Who’s this friend of yours? Where do they live? I’ll... I’ll take you there, and... we can decide what to do about... this.” “I’m sorry...” I looked away. “But I can’t do that.” He frowned at me. “Why not?” “A mare’s got to have secrets right?” I grinned up at him and winked. His frown just deepened. “I can’t just ignore this. If you’re in trouble, then it’s my duty to aid you, so tell me where it is you’re staying so I can escort you there.” “Listen, you’re a cutie, but no.” I gave him a quick peck on the cheeks and danced out from under his wings, shivering at the cold air. “It’s shame too, because I kinda like you.” He blinked at me in shock, his mouth open. “Y-your leg...” Then his jaw hardened into a frown. “You were never hurt were you...?” “Sorry babe, a girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do to survive in this town.” I blew a playful kiss at him. All the shadows surrounding us drew in towards him, and his eyes blackened completely. In a second he went from a cute stallion to a shapeless black mass, and the streets around me only darkened further until barely anything was visible. I simply rolled my eyes and created a ring of flames around me, allowing myself to sink down into the ground. “You know, tentacle sex is kinky and all, but you really should ask first.” My head finally slipped under and I reappeared on the roof of Mixers. “Well, that could have gone better.” “You mess up?” The bartender asked from behind, making me jump. “I got the stinking job done.” With a flick of my mane, I dropped the disguise. “Guard was cute too. For a male that is, too bad I’ve got my hooves full, otherwise I’d totally sink my teeth into him.” The bartender rolled his eyes at me. “I really don’t need to hear that. So you got it done? No issues, and he won’t report it to his superiors? We don’t want to draw any attention.” “Oh, he’ll report something.” I waved a wallet in front of his face. “Clever,” he mused, “he’ll think you were just a pickpocket. Either he’ll be too embarrassed to report it, or it won’t be made into an issue if it is.” “Now how about some drinks? I need to forget about tonight.” He snorted and turned to head down stairs, back into the club. “Not on the house. You’ll have to pay for it.” “You mean he’ll have to pay for it.” I tossed the wallet at him. “A bottle of your finest.” He caught it without looking. “Unless guards get paid better than I thought they did, no way his wallets gonna cover that. But I could probably get you a decent bottle of something. Plus generous tip for my good service.” “Whatever, as long as it’s good.” A couple of minutes later he returned to the roof with a bottle and two glasses. “Got a nice bottle of seventy two Old Parr. That work for you?” “Yeah, whatever.” He poured us a cup each and I immediately downed the entire thing. “Another.” He raised an eyebrow at me. “It’s supposed to savored. If you’re just gonna slug it down, you might as well have gotten some cheap whiskey.” “Don’t care. Another.” He sighed reluctantly and poured another shot, muttering about it being a waste of a good drink. “Are you okay?” he asked as he held the drink out. “Yeah.” Another shot downed. “Another. Come on, keep them coming.” A moment later he passed another drink to me. “Really, what’s wrong?” This time I nursed my drink between two hooves before I sighed and looked out over Canterlot. “Do you ever want to run away? To get away from all this and leave it behind?” He blinked at me. “That’s... a dangerous thing to be talking about... Say that to the wrong one of us, and it’ll get you killed...” “That’s why I’m saying it to you.” I sipped the drink. “But do you ever get that feeling? To just... vanish? I’m getting tired of all this, you know. All this secrecy and backdoor business.” He grit his jaw, but after a moment sighed and relaxed. “Yeah... yeah I do... But.... look, it’s just the way things are... I mean, sure, you could run away, but... could you really do that to us?” A bitter laugh escaped. “Assuming I could actually find some place to hide where I couldn’t be found.” He shrugged. “Some have managed it. Or they got killed and we never got told... A couple have even gotten names that way, either by finding a traitor or becoming one.” This time he slugged back the drink without tasting it. “Just try not to think about it and don’t get attached.” “Yeah... well...” I held up the glass, letting the moonlight flow through it. “Here’s to misery then.” “It’s not as bad as that,” he replied, but pounded his drink down with me. After clearing his throat, he glanced over at me. “What’s got you thinking about this? Octavia?” “Something like that, sure.” Yet another shot down the hatch. “Let’s drink, just this one time. Let’s get drunk and forget about everything.” “Sure that’s a good idea?” He replied. “She’s in town tonight, you know? If she comes our way, then... it might be best to stay sober...” “Right,” I muttered under my breath. “Fine, whatev’s. I’m turning in then.” “Look, I get it. Sometimes it’s hard, but we’re always there for each oth-” “Please stop. Just... stop.” I sighed and sat on the ledge of the building. “I think I want to be alone for a while. Leave the bottle, but take the cups with you.” He hesitated... “You sure? That’s... a pretty concerning thing to do...” “Please.” I took a sip from the bottle. “Trust me.” “…Alright.” He glanced over his shoulder at me one last time before making his way downstairs, leaving me alone again. After a moment of silently sipping the bitter stuff, I raised the bottle to the moon. “To our sorrows and loneliness then, Mistress of the Night.” I took a deep swig of the drink and moaned at the burn that made its way down my throat. “At least one of you understands our pains.”