This story begins at the Phillydelphia airport, it was a cool autumn evening when the taxi carriage arrived with Buck Striker. The stallion was clearly nervous as he exited onto the sidewalk, and looked up at the building with trepidation, "Well, here we are, don't worry, your not flying, just go to Elaine, and tell her whats on your mind." he thought to himself.
The earth pony swallowed down some of his saliva, and almost actually made a step toward the building before turning around shaking slightly, "Come on Striker, it's just an airport, you don't have to actually get on the airship, let alone fly it."
Suddenly the voice of a mare came over the loud speaker, as the pony pulling the taxi carriage took off, "The white zone is for immediate loading, and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in the red zone."
Buck placed a hoof to his heart, and caught his breath, after a few moments he ran into the building. As he did a stallion announced on the intercom, "The red zone is for immediate loading, and unloading of passengers only. There is no stopping in the white zone."
Buck looked around the room for a few moments, before spotting Elaine. The gryphon truly was easy to spot in a crowd of ponies, the reason why was because, even when she wore her flight attendant uniform, she constantly wore that same curly blonde wig. As Buck made his way over to her, the two voices on the intercom began to argue about the white and red zones, and were ignored by absolutely everyone, "Elaine, I'm glad I caught you. Listen, I know your about to leave to Chicacolt, but I need to tell you how I feel."
The gryphon turned to the source of the voice with an annoyed look, "Buck, how many times do I have to tell you, it's over?"
"Hold it, hold it HOLD IT!" Discord yelled, suddenly bringing the author out of his writing trance, "I don't get it, where's the story? What's going on here? This is so, boring! Who would read this stuff?"
The author paused, and took his glasses off before answering, "Well for openers, I would, I think. And second of all, you did give me a lot of wiggle room here, I mean, come on! I just started setting up the premise, and you make me stop?"
Discord rubbed his eyes with his fingers before massaging the sides of his head, "Alright fine, just skip ahead a bit, I want to see where you are going with this."
The pony banged his head against the table a few times, sighed, then finally said, "If I skip ahead, then you would be missing a lot of the plot lines."
Discord stood dumbstruck by the idea, he sputtered, folded his arms, stomped away then walked back. The author looked at Discord with an eyebrow raised as Discord raised a talon, opened his mouth, and promptly turned away, "Of all the inconceivable, absolutely ridiculous ideas," he started to say as he walked to the far end of the storage room, knocking over things at random.
The author sat with his chin in his hooves and a small smirk on his face, "You know, the longer you act like a five year old, the longer this is going to take!" He yelled across the storage space to the pacing Discord.
The affect was instantaneous, as the pseudo insult went flying, Discord flew across the room in anger, "How DARE you say I'm acting like a five year old! I'm at least acting eight."
"Well why don't you act your age then HUH?!" The pony shouted at him.
Discord stood still for a few moments, silent then grinned, "Alright, if you insist." Discord then began to decompose at an alarming rate, becoming a walking, rotting corpse before the ponies eyes.
The pony behind the type writer simply yawned, as the zombie Discord shuffled across the room, like a jerky puppet with half its strings missing, "Really, you would have to try much harder than that," he said with a frown, "Now, grow up a little and have some patience so I can at least do a cliff note version of this."
Discord changed back into his usual self, arms folded in anger before he flopped down on an old couch near the author, "Oh, very well then. BUT, It had better be amusing!"
The unicorn chuckled to himself as he drank down some of his water successfully, "Oh ye of little faith and mind. Tarry not and behold." Discord raised to protest, not sure if it was an insult or not, only to stop as the unicorn started typing again,
Cliff notes,
So, basically, Buck is afraid of flying again in an airship since an incident during the (insert word here) war. However, his love, or rather, former love, Elaine is a flight attendant for Equestrian Airways, and he catches the five hour flight just to be able to try to convince her that he still loves her, and to try and get her back together with him.
Things seem to go well enough, despite the crazy cast, including a hypochondriac, a doctor, a perverted pilot, a hot mare that has only the attribute of being good looking, Striker himself, Elaine, and a sick filly in need of a heart transplant.
Everything is going smoothly enough on the flight, that is until the on flight meal is served, the hay is alright, but anyone that ate the straw is suddenly infected with a strange disease that makes ponies spit eggs, and then pass out in an extreme sweat.
With that out of the way, let's continue with the actual story.
****
It had only been seconds after the last of the plates were cleared away by the flight attendants, and already ponies began to drop like flies, some of the unicorns literally becoming flies and dropping to the floor.
Elaine stood still in the small bridge of the airship, looking over the slumped over bodies of the co-pilot, and navigator. "Oh no, not you too!"
The captain stood still at the controls as he piloted the massive ship with ease, "Thank Celestia you came! Quick, get on the horn and alert ground control!
As quickly as she could, the gryphon obeyed the captain. She flipped the switch on for the wireless, and tapped out a message, "H... E... L... P. C R E W I L L. S T O P."
That was when the voice on ground control came in over the set, "Flight 32, why are you tapping out horse code? That has been phased out over ten years ago!"
"Sorry!" She cried out into the radio, "I don't know that much about modern technology! We need help, ponies are getting sick on this flight and we need to make an emergency landing!"
The radio stayed silent for several moments, crackling with static. Finally after several tense moments, the voice from ground control came back, "Roger, alert captain Clearance that Canterlot Airship Yards can receive as soon as you get here. Estimated time, one hour, over and out."
Elaine nodded and shut off the radio, "Captain we are clear for landing in Canterlot, is there anything I can do?"
The captain nodded slightly in his seat as he turned around, "Yes, go see if you can find a doctor for the sick ponies on this flight. Bring him here to see if he can treat Roger and Vector."
Elaine nodded and quickly left the bridge to find a doctor.
Meanwhile, in the dinning hall, Buck Striker continued telling his life story, "And that was when I started to have a relapse. It's not my fault really, when you think about it. Those aeroplanes were so new at the time. Anyway, when I started to relapse, I felt that Elaine was losing respect for me then, yet I kept slipping away." As he continued to talk, the mare next to him proceeded to place a plastic bag over her head, no longer wanting to live for one more second if she had to sit next to this stallion for the next four hours of this flight.
As the bag began to slip over her head, Elaine quickly snatched it off of the mare's face and smiled kindly, "First I want to ensure that there is absolutely nothing wrong."
The pony blinked at the gryphon with a blank, dead like stare before answering, "Okay, I believe you."
The gryphon nodded and gave the best smile that she as a gryphon could, "Wonderful! Now, I was just wondering if you know if there is a doctor nearby?"
The mare nodded and smiled back slightly, joyful that the stallion beside her had finally shut up, "I believe that that pony over there is a doctor," she said as she pointed to a brown earth pony across the way. The pony seemed a bit too happy about things as he sat in the seat, fiddling with what looked like a metal stick with a blue light on the end of it.
Elaine sighed slightly, "Well, thank's for trying." She then put the bag back on the ponies head and continued her search.
"Oh yeah, that goo
d," Discord said with a grin, smacking his lips.
The unicorn behind the type writer stared at the ink blot that followed most of what Discord said a few moments ago and then proceeded to stare down the draconequus, "DISCORD! You interrupted my train of thought! Now look what happened!" As he spoke, he pulled the sheet of paper out with his magic to float it over to Discord.
Discord stared at the story for a few moments, yawned and then tossed it behind him. "So you made a mistake, big deal. Why don't you just rewrite it?"
The pony snorted a few times in anger before responding, "Rewrite it. REWRITE IT! You delusional dip! Why should I rewrite it now? You know what, no, forget this! Put me back in the gardens, no way I'm going to stay in this dusty attic writing stories at your whim!"
Discord held his talons and paw up in a defensive gesture. "Whoa whoa whoa! Calm down pony, that's not what you are here for at all! I just wanted to see if you were better than me, and see if I could get a few tips."
The blue unicorn seethed for several moments. Finally, after several moments, he slowed down his breathing and smiled. "Okay, I think I'm good." He then gathered up the sheets of unused paper and neatly stacked them up before asking the question on his mind. "So, what are you eating that is soo good?"
Discord paused for a moment, then smiled wide as he held up the plate of food. "It's fried potatoes cut julienne style, dipped in mayonnaise!"
The unicorn wrinkled his snout at the thought of how it would taste. "That's disgusting! I mean, I have had potato fries, but with mayo? Eww!
"Oh don't be so droll," Discord said with a grin, "That's what the Europeans use for dip."
The pony stared at him for a few seconds as he ate the last of the food, smacking loudly. Finally, he asked the only real question left on his mind, "What's a European?"
Discord froze suddenly, and backpedaled slightly, "Err, nothing. Nothing you have to know about. So, about how about it? Feel like helping me out?"
The pony raised a hoof to his muzzle as he contemplated. After a few moments, he asked, "All I have to do is help you with your stories?"
Discord waved his mismatched hands in the air while answering, "Well, there's a few legal things to take care of. I mean, you can't work here and do just that. You can be a... hmm, what is it that Random Thought does for me? Other than complain that he needs help? I want to say secretary, but that doesn't sound right. He's not a personal assistant, cause he helps everypony in the building. Oh well, you are going to work for his department anyhow. On your off time, you can help me with writing."
The unicorn looked at the broken table, and sighed inwardly to himself, "What choice do I have? First lesson, meet me tomorrow, I'm sure you can find me since I'm under your custody."
Discord grinned as he held his talon out, "Excellent, we have an agreement! The pony nodded and offered his hoof and the two shook for a few moments as the floor vibrated. "So, are you going to finish that story you were writing? It sounded like it could be a good one."
The pony shook his head at the statement before answering, "Nah, I'm sure that somepony, or something else made a better version of that story. Besides, how dramatic could a slow moving airship be? Perhaps if aeroplanes were big enough to carry passengers."
Discord rolled his eyes slightly as the unicorn went off on a tangent. "Whatever. Look, it's closing time, and I'm sure you don't have a place to actually stay, so."
The unicorn smiled and quickly trotted up to Discord, "Well thank you, I'll be glad to stay with you at your place."
"Oh that's good, cause... Hey wait!" Discord said with a slight bit of confusion in his voice, "I was going to say you could sleep here for the night!"
The stallion looked up at Discord with wide, watering eyes. He looked just as pitiful as they come as he spoke. "But, what if I get hungry, or thirsty? What if I need to, you know... relieve myself."
Discord was about to dismiss the pony, when suddenly the thought of a grown stallion relieving himself on the floor while locked in the attic made him shiver slightly. "Oh very well. Come on, er... say, its funny. I never did get your name."
The pony froze in his tracks before he could get any closer to Discord. "My name?"
Discord smiled kindly at the blue stallion before nodding, "Yes, your name, you do have a name, don't you?"
"My name..."
Within the mind of a certain author pony...
The mental caretakers of the brain of this particular little pony were working in a frenzy as they searched high and low through all the file cabinets, only to find most of them empty. "COME ON! What's his name?!
"I can't find a file with a name! What's going on here?"
That was when suddenly a fire broke out, and one of the unicorns shouted, "OH SWEET LUNA AND CELESTIA, WE THREW OUT HIS NAME!"
The blue stallion stood before Discord twitching violently. Discord, might not have been the most caring being on the face of the earth, but he still worried about what was taking the pony so long to answer. Suddenly, the unicorn turned and bucked Discord in the chest! "Ow, what the!" Discord cried out as he flew across the room from the mighty kick, slamming hard into the so called time machine.
The pony meanwhile began to bark and growl like a mad dog before grabbing the type writer in his magic and throwing it at Discord, along with the sheets of paper, sending them flying in a fiery blaze of pain towards Discord. "NOT THE FACE!" It was the last thing Discord said before snapping his fingers. There was a flash, and suddenly Discord found himself, and the pony within the confines of his room back at the castle.
With a sigh, Discord slumped back against his bedroom door, watching the barking mad pony spin in confusion. "Well, at least he stopped throwing things. Took care of it like that!" He said, snapping his fingers for emphasis.
There was a flash, as Discord accidentally brought back the flying typewriter, still flying toward his face. "Oh, poop." It was the last thing he managed to say before the lights went out for him.