//------------------------------// // First Episode // Story: Pinkie Pie's Fourth-Wall Breaking Variety Show // by Alex Warlorn //------------------------------// Pinkie Pie tapped on the camera as if this would tell her if it was broadcast or not. She leaned in close her pink face filling the entire view and breathed misting up the lens before cleaning it away with her hooves. Satisfied with it, she nodded with a smile. She trotted a few steps back smiling. "Hey guys! Oh and I guess girls too! Broadcasting to you between stories of the Pony POV Series! It's Pinkie Diane! Better known as Pinkie Pie! I just wanted ya all to know that the show is still going strong! The author has gotten all the reviews and comments out of the way and kinda sorta skipped some grammar corrections because he was suffering a nervous breakdown. Anywho, I got drafted to tell all of you that the Pony POV Series is far from gone and far from over! Though we are finally cleaning things up around here and getting the plot moving again! I know, I know, it doesn't LOOOK LIKE this meanie saddie has anything to do with the main plot but it does! Pinkie Swear! We've got a story from LZ0291 in the works again, and it'll be shocker when you see it. I personally can't decide if it'll be more of a shocker than the next story arc will be. The author has finished putting his notes together for this meanie saddie story arc. And the next chapter is the meanest and saddest of the entire arc before getting onto the nice stuff! He actually has enough now written for TWO chapters, but he's worried that if ponies read the super uber sad stuff before he write the hopeful stuff that they'll stop reading. And if you haven't, BE SURE to read the latest Pony POV Chapters! Yeah, the author TOLD ME to say that one. The point is colts and fillies out there, I'm here to tell you not to forget about us, not to give up, and not to lose hope. Cause this series, this saga IS getting done! You can believe it! Wow . .  that wasn't much to say, at all." Pinkie Pie scratched her head. A light bulb appeared above her head. "Okay! Here's what we're going to do while the author is trying to write where he wants to be! A lot of you guys REALLY like to write things that'll happen next in story. So that's how it is! You write in your cute little comments, like real authors, what I do or say next here in my little studio, have surprise guests (My Little Pony characters only please, any generation, no other franchises), have me do crazy stunts, ask questions,  whatever! YOU write what I do, and you write my actions and dialogue. You don't 'request' what happens next, or 'describe' what happens next, you write what happens next. The rules are simple, one, you can't fundamentally alter the POV Series universe, sorry, the author had enough misery keeping this story up to date with the cartoon and is down right PHOBIC of not finishing it before the third season airs! So sorry about that, really really really really really really really REALLY sorry! Okay, rule two, I and the camera can't leave the little studio. No out of character behavior from anypony, also I'm the only fourth wall breaker around here. Other mortal ponies don't know who I'm transmitting to! In case more than one bronie writes what I do next, the author will choose based on his own preference. Not sure if anyone's gonna write what I do next or not. Or for how long. Until then, I just enjoy this hot cocoa and listen Equestria girls classical instrumental edition while reading the funny papers. Keep up the faith POV bronie!" - "Ooh ooh, looks like we have another try. It is a letter. Let us see what it says... 'How about we start with a simple question? Both Flutters have quite different tastes. What kind of Nightmare Night costume would Fluttershy and Fluttercruel wear together?' Huh, likely Rarity would come up with something, but I think I have my own idea!" With a wide smile Pinkie Pie rushes outside the view of the camera. Construction noise, the clucking of chickens and fireworks can be heard. As she walks back inside the studio she is wearing the costume of a huge tree, barely fitting through the door. The tree is extremely colorful with green leafs and red apples decorating it. "This is my tree disguise MK II. I know Fluttershy would like to be a tree. But this costume has a very special function. Just watch." The pink pony pushes a red button next to the base of the tree and accompanied by mechanical noises the tree begins to change and shift and leafs and apples disappear on it. Its form becomes thinner. Now it looks more like a bare tree out of a horror story. "I guess this is more Fluttercruel's style. I am still trying to come up with a more fitting name, something that shows its transforming abilities. The last one I suggested didn't pass legal. They said another show did already secure the rights to that name." - "Huh. 'Can you still do that Surprise thing?' Well, let's see..." Pinkie counts on her hooves for a moment, then disappears offscreen. A second later, she's back with a bag of flour, a water marker pen, the wings from her Nightmare Night costume, and a startled looking white unicorn. "Okay! When I tell you, lift me and make the wings flap-wait, what do you mean that doesn't count? Everypony's a critic... At least the flour's funny, right?" She disappears again. There's a grinding noise and a flashing blue light, and a white pegasus with a blonde mane bounces on with a grin. "This better?" "Pinkie..." Twilight's voice asks from offscreen. "What did you just do, how come Dash has been replaced by a pink version of herself, and where has the Sparkle gone from my name?" "Oh, sorry..." she grins. "I got the Doctor to send us all sideways a decade or two. It might have some unexpected side effects, so I'll get him to put it back before AJ falls over or something." - "While the Doctor straightens that timey-wimey stuff out, let's get to our next question. "This is a good one! Do you still like to drink chocolate rain? If you do, where do you find the cotton candy clouds?' "Of course I still like to drink chocolate rain, silly filly! "Pinkie rolls her eyes, and edges closer to the camera. "As for where I keep them, you all have to swear a pinkie promise not to tell any pony else. Stop reading now if you can't keep the promise please. I'll wait." After a few minutes Pinkie looks into the camera and says, "Ok. I think they are gone. My clouds come from something called hammerspace. Here, I'll show you!" Pinkie moves her hoof, an a line appears in midair. Placing her hand inside the pocket that formed, she puts her tongue between her teeth, and starts pulling things out. "Ah, there is my back up party cannon! I've been looking all over for this! I can't seem to find the cloud though." Pinkie Pie pulls out a swizel straw, and looks at it. "Oh, well. Maybe I could use this for my giant milkshake instead!" - "Hey, it is another letter. This one says... 'How about you try a tribute to the famous Pony Ranger show that was mentioned several times?' Somehow I knew this would happen and have already prepared a model of an abandoned Ponyville, but now the most important part: It is Morphin' time!" Upbeat music begins to play and bright pink light surrounds the spot Pinkie Pie is standing at and she quickly rushes outside the view of the camera as the light show continues. Then a pink blur flies back into it and as the light is gone, she is wearing pink armor and a Pony Ranger helmet with her poofy hair visible on the back. "Ranger of Laughter, Pinkie Pie." As she strikes a pose an explosion appears behind her. "Let's see: A miniature city ready to be destroyed, check. A Pony Ranger disguise, check. A Mega-Pony mask, enchanted by Twilight to not break when I play with it, check. Spontaneous explosions... Another explosion happens in the background, somehow nothing is damaged by it. Check. Good, now we just need someone to play the villain..." "Ugh. Not here either." To the surprise of the partying pony her first unintentional guest has arrived: Gilda. Immediately the griffon hides a letter under her wings and glares at Pinkie Pie, the disguise the pink pony is wearing and the city model next to her. "Hah, seems I am interrupting something really lame. Are you busy playing with your little Pink Ranger disguise and your limited edition Season 1 Mega-Pony mask?" Somehow her voice sounded envious, and then Pinky's smile became wider. "Yeah, you are definitely too cool to know anything about the series. You don't know what you have missed. I bet you have no idea of the epic battle between the evil Grey Pony Ranger and the other Pony Rangers in episode 16." "Hah! You are trying to make a fool out of me, but I am not falling for this one. You won't get me to say that you got the color and the episode number wrong!" For a moment Gilda looks smug, before realising what she just said. Another explosion goes off behind her. "Fine. You got me. I am a fan of the show. But DON'T DARE TO TELL ANYPONY OR ANY GRIFFON!" "Oh don't worry. This entire recording is non-canon anyway... I mean I won't tell anypony or any griffon, if..." Pinkie Pie looks at the party crasher with the biggest smile possible. "Hmph, yeah right. What do you want from me?" "You get to play the villain Gildar in this little scene!" "What, just the two of us?" "No, just look at the background, outside of the view of the camera. From there the One and Only Trixie provides us with the special effects. When I told her that explosions were involved her reaction immediately went from 'How did you get into my room?' to 'Let's get started!'. Thanks to her we will have a lot of random explosions! Maybe she will do a cameo later." The griffon chuckles and takes a battle stance. "You are all alone, Pink Ranger! You Rangers will NEVER win against the dark sorceress. And you will not evade my next attack!" She rushes at the pink pony but Pinkie Pie just rolls aside and counters with a flying dragon kick darting right past Gilda. But the camera is positioned in such a way that it looks like she hit her as the griffon fakes pain. Both strike poses before continuing their battle. Soon both jump into the air and exchange kung-fu moves, always missing their target. Again thanks to the way the camera is placed it looks like they are really fighting. More explosions surround them, making it harder to see if they are hitting each other or not. Then Pinkie Pie begins to switch her tactics around and starts to break dance like a maniac. This time Gilda grunts in real pain. "Hmph. Not bad for one measly pony. Oh dark sorceress, lend me your power!" Trixie walks into view next to the two exhausted fighters. She is wearing a black version of her cape and hat and uses her telekinesis to let an extremely detailed magic wand float next to her. It is likely another collector's item from Pinkie Pie's collection. "I will not loose to a single teenager for the thirtieth time. Magic Wand, make my monster grow!" Then she literally throws the wand at Gildar. "Ouch. Stop that!" Fake lightning begins to circle around the griffin. Meanwhile Pinkie had positioned the camera lower so that Gilda looks bigger. "Hah, try to fight me now, puny Ranger!" Joyfully and accompanied by more explosions the griffon starts to destroy models of the fake town. Then Pinkie Pie points the camera at herself and shakes it around. "Oh no! Time to call the Mega-Pony!" More pink energy begins to surround her as she rushes off camera again and returns just as the light vanishes, this time wearing the Mega-Pony mask instead of her Ranger helmet. This time a gigantic explosion detonates behind her. "I can't see anything under this thing. What could go wrong? It is time for my final attack!" "You are looking in the wrong direction." Gilda signs as the pink pony turns around, still not really facing her. "Ready or not, here I home! HUUUUGGGG TAAACCCKKKKLEEE!" Without hesitation and surrounded by a pink glow the Pink Ranger rushes forward and knocks the camera over instead. While the camera points at the ceiling their voices can still be heard. "Huh, did I hit you?" "Yeah right, genius. I am completely defeated and the camera fainted in shock." "Ooh! Great, I hope it doesn't hurt." The sound of Gilda smacking her head into the floor can be heard. "Whatever. Remember, do not tell anyone. I'm outta here." - "Hey, Mr. Narrator!" said Pinkie. Wait... Who? What? "You, Mr. Narrator!" There's no one here! This story is written in third person omniscient! "Well, duh, Mr. Narrator! That's the way you've been telling it!" She rolled her eyes as she replied. Pinkie, you are only supposed to break the fourth wall in accordance with the Geneva Conventions. You're getting too post-modern here, it's confusing the readers! "Now it's too complex?" I think Pinkie Pie gave me a sigh, "You just can't satisfy everyone, can you? You write a simple story, and everyone calls it predictable, cliched even! But any more complex, and suddenly no one gets it! It's like people want something, and they don't know what! Don't say I've gone OOC again, or is frustration something I'm allowed to express? No-" *** "So yeah - wait, did you just cut out all my exposition? I saw that, Mr. Narrator, and it would be a shame if you were missing something important. I-" We better stop there for now. m-must resist URGE... "Oh silly Mr. Narrator, I never even got to thank you for all that's been said and done..." finished Pinkie, with some melancholy. - "Ooh, here's another one! Gosh, everypoiny wants to do one of these now!" Pinkie Pie held up a letter and read, "Hmm... 'Do things like full-body pony suits exist in your world?' Well, not normally, but for a special occasion... Come on out, 'Rarity'!" Somepony who looks like Rarity wearing Applejack's hat walked out sullenly from stage left, with a sour look on her face. Pinkie giggled. "How do you like looking like Rarity, AJ?" Rarity gave Pinkie a dirty look before saying in Applejack's country-fied accents, "Ah feel like the silliest frou-frou pony evah! Why do I gotta wear this thing?!?" "Well, gee, Jacky," Pinkie held up the letter in her hooves, "Somepony asked to see it, and..." Applejack tried ripping the suit off. But it resisted, stretching without tearing as she yelled, "Then tell HIM tah wear one!" "Aww, don't be such a sourpuss pony!" Pinkie pointed past Applejack, off stage. "You don't hear Dashie complaining about the one she's wearing, do you?" Fluttershy flew out, looking very surly as she landed beside 'Rarity'. "Heh," Pinkie asked, a smile spreading across her face, "How do you feel being the cutest pegasus in Equestria, 'Fluttershy'?* Fluttershy gave her a venomous glare before saying in Dash's scratchy voice, "Pinkie, if I ever meet the pony who came up with this idea, I'm going to glue him into one of these things." She shook her head, sending her flowing pink mane flying. "Uggh! Where did ya even GET these things?" "Oh, I got them from Rarity!" Pinkie nodded at the white unicorn as she trotted out behind her 'twin' and 'Fluttershy'. Both the latter ponies gave her furious glares as she stopped beside them. "Oh, hello Rainbow Dash, Applejack. I simply must say, you're both looking better than ever!" She smiled at them as they glared at her. "It was very difficult to make those ponysuits, but an artist thrives on challenge! Why, the material alone..." "Never mind that!" 'Fluttershy' cried in Dash's voice, and Rarity added in Applejack's "Yeah, just tell us how ta take these things off?" Rarity gave them an innocent look as she asked in a confused tone, "Take them off...?" - "Rarity" turns and gives her 'twin' an eye roll and a glare. "Now cut that out Rarity! Even though no one in Ponyville will see this, even if this whole thing isn't 'cannon', whatever the hay that means, Ah still can't have people seein' me like this! Ah have my pride to keep up!" "But this is so much fun! I love seeing you both all topsy-turvy!" "If you don't get me outta this thing, I'll-- "Ok, ok," Pinkie sighs and frowns. "Now you really sound like Rarity." Pinkie hops over and the camera zooms on a zipper in 'Rarity's' hoof. A zipper pull later, and 'Rarity' becomes Applejack. "Thank Celestia that darn thing came off!" Applejack says, kicking the suit into a corner. "It was hotter in there than one of Granny Smith's flamin' apple pies! Ah am goin' home!" Applejack then trots off the stage, turns her head, and with a half-smile says, "Besides, Ah kinda like Rainbow's new look." "APPLEJACK!" 'Fluttershy' yells. "GET BACK HERE! Applejack... That's it!" A ripping sound is heard as 'Fluttershy' but with cyan blue wings flies off after Applejack. Rarity turns red. "RAINBOW DASH! Come back here this instant! You have ruined my creation!" Gathering up the shards of fabric on the floor, Rarity races toward 'Fluttershy'. Pinkie sits down. "Ahh, now what am I supposed to do? " "I still don't know if the Doctor has fixed the time stream yet, Rarity is chasing Rainbow because of that suit, and Rainbow is kind of occupied chasing AJ. So, that means my planned dance party is off, until some brony decides to write it. Cone on people!" Pinkie sgets up, and starts pace-bouncing back and forth. "Let's see, I've already showed off my hammerspace, already broken the time space continuum, battled Gilda with friendship and won, talked with the narrator, and pulled a topsy-tuvy on AJ and Rainbow." Pinkie frowns and turns to a camera. "Hey, whatcha guys looking at me for? This is a transition scene! The author can't think of anything else for me to do! She has enough trouble trying to tie this thing together! Stop looking at me, and ask me to do something!" As if on cue, a letter pops up. "Oh thank goodness! I was getting bored!" Pinkie scans the letter. "This person wants me to 'Drink some espresso and see what happens'. Espresso, huh?" Pinkie reaches into hammerspace, and pulls out a tiny cup filled to the brim with brown liquid. "Well, as the One and Only Trixie says, bottoms up!" Pinkie then procedes to down the whole cup in one sitting. A pink blur rockets around the studio, upsetting chairs, and knocking down cameras. While dancing on tiptoe, it starts talking at about a mile a minute saying "OohmygoshthisissogreatWhat'sinthisstuffIfeelllvibratey WHOOHOOOOO!!" The blur then seems to explode, rocketing up to the shock-proof ceiling, bouncing off of the floor and crashing into a couch. "I am so glad we tested those ceilings beforehand." Pinkie says. "Now, what do I do with all of these broken couches?" - "Oh! And here's a message straight from the author ahem, 'And please note: all submission must be in the same format as the story, so no 'script' format or 'RPing' format?' Oh! Well, that's a drag! But I guess it'll keep this place neater, and believe me, this place seems to get pretty mess with me around!" - Pinkie opens a letter and begins to read it, "Dear Pinkie, just out of curiosity who was it exactly that threw that rock at Fluttershy during the Princess Gaia festival?" Pinkie looks up at the camera and says, "Oh, that's an easy one! It was..." *Screen turns to static and a we are experiencing technical difficulty sign pops up for about fifteen minutes* "And that's why that particular ask a pony blog is the best ask a pony blog ever! Hope that answered your question.", said Pinkie with an exicited look on her face. - Pinkie opened another letter and read it. "Ooh, this one is different! It's asking about Celestia! 'Dear Pinkie, we learned in the story that Celestia once spent a few years living a life as a mortal horse on the human world. Just what happened to her? Was she a noble warhorse? Was she the beloved pet of a lonely child? Or was she stuck with pulling a plow? What?'" Pinkie looks offstage. "Well, I can't answer this one, but I know somepony who can -- hello, Princess Celestia!" There came a burst of golden sunlight from offstage and Celestia herself stepped out, moving with the infinite grace of an alicorn. "Greetings, Pinkie Pie." She read the letter and rubbed one forehoof thoughtfully against her chin. "Hmm... my life as a horse among humans?" Celestia sighed and said, "I was owned by a farmer in a place they called Pennsylvania, northwards of Philadelphia, when it was the colonial capital. He was named John Siegfried, and what can be said?" She sighs, her wings fluttering out slightly as she closes her eyes and thinks back. "He hitched me to his plow and together we drew enough of a living from the soil to help his neighbors when they went hungry. He rode me to war when he lead the men who trusted him against their enemies, and rode me back later with an arm he could no longer use, but with the knowledge that his farm and wife and children would not be plundered or slain. And yes, after he died, I became the property of his youngest daughter Anna." Celestia grew quiet. Twilight Sparkle slowly came out from offstage, walking up to stand beside her teacher with a look on concern in her eyes. Celestia stirred as Twi offered comfort and said, "She married well, for that time and place, and kept me long after my mortal self could no longer work. She even established a retirement farm for old and abused horses." Celestia chuckled and added, "And at the end, she held my head in her lap and comforted me as I returned to My Parents." She looked down. Twilight pressed against her side, craning to set her neck around her teacher's. Celestia smiled gently and returned the hug. "And because Anna treated me so well, when her time came My Parents permitted me to go and bring her to -- to where she was meant to go." Celestia looked up and smiled gently. "So, that was my life as a mortal horse among the humans. It was no harder than it ever needed to be, which is the most that many can ever say, mortal or immortal." "Thank you, Princess," Pinkie Pie said, a little quieter than usual, and "I'm so sorry," Twilight added in her own soft voice. Celestia looked down at them as thought she meant to say more... And then with many a whinny and neigh a ball formed of a white unicorn, a brown earth pony, and a blue-winged yellow pegasus rolled onto the stage and right in front of Celestia. Celestia looked like she fought down a smile. Twilight leaped to her hooves and shrieked: "GIRLS!" The ball fell part to reveal Rarity with a frazzled mane, Rainbow Dash's head and wings on 'Fluttershy's' rather sadly ripped and torn 'body', and 'Fluttershy's' head atop Applejack's body. The latter scowled at the blue pegasus and yelled: "Dang it, Dash, there weren't no call to go sticking that mask on me!" "Hey, if it looks good on me, then it looks GREAT on you, 'Fluttershy'!" Dash grinned at her. Then both of them turned to see a furious Twilight and a very amused Celestia watching them. They gulped audibly and dropped to their knees. "Girls! This is not how we act in front of the Princess!" Twilight's horn glowed as she ripped what was left of the Fluttershy suit off of them, ignoring a gasp of "A whole day's work!" from Rarity. Twilight ignored her to say, "This is the silliest thing I've ever seen. Nopony would ever catch me doing something like this!" "Oh, really, Twilight?" Twilight froze as she heard Celestia speaking behind her. She turned to look and saw Celestia's horn glowing as she held a Rainbow Dash ponysuit in the grip of her magic. Pinkie was giggling behind her, hooves over her mouth. Celestia added in an amused tone, "I seem to recall when you enjoyed doing your little masquerades for me as a filly. You often did a wonderful job of pretending to be various ponies around the palace; you even imitated me once or twice. I thought they were charming, and they made me laugh when I needed to. And after that story, I think I could use some joy." Twilight looked ready to protest, but Celestia looks at her mock-pleadingly, sets the Dash-suit into her hooves, and adds, "For me?" Twilight looked from Celestia to her friends. Dash and AJ looked very amused; and Rarity looked thrilled at the Princess' love of something she'd made, even if it was so silly. "Fine," she sighed and she took it and headed off stage to put it on, followed by three of her friends and Celestia, leaving Pinkie alone on the stage once more. "Okay," Pinkie said, grinning. "I think the next part of 'Ponysuit Follies' is going to take a while, so who's next?" - Ditzy hands Pinkie another letter. "Thanks Ditzy!", said Pinkie as she opened the letter to read it. "Dear Pinkie, I was wondering what happened to Neatly Spell? Is she still alive or did Diamond Tiara kill her?" Pinkie looks up and says, "Another easy one. The answer is..." *A random parade comes out of nowhere and drowns out all of Pinkie's words* "And that's what things would have been like if Princess Gaia had turned everypony into Visigoths instead of foals.", said Pinkie. "And yes, Visigoth is an actual thing. Look it up!", she added. - Pinkie opens a letter and reads it, "Hey Pinkie, there are two things I was wondering about. The first thing is if Sunny Days is the name of Princess Celestia's alias then whats the deal with that filly who's name is also Sunny Days?" Pinkie looks up to the camera, "Oh, you mean Sunny Daze. She's a filly who goes to the CMC's school. The fact that her name is similar sounding to Sunny Days is just a coincidence. Or at least I think it's a coincidence, I should ask Star Catcher about that." Pinkie turns back to the letter and continues to read it, "the other thing I was wondering was if Peachy Pie is related to you." Pinkie looks back up at the camera, "Wow, I'm impressed. Both Sunny Daze and Peachy Pie had only a minor non-speaking role in one episode, and yet you managed to remember them? Anyway, Peachy Pie is a distant relative. To be more specific she is my dad's cousin's daughter." - Another letter appeared before Pinkie Pie. "Ah, this one is a question about Discord. 'Dear Pinkie Pie, how could Discord ignore the fact that Rainbow Dash was standing right next to the rest of the group, ready to use the Elements? He should have seen that something did change. Is he really that arrogant or ignorant?' Well that one is kinda hard to answer, we can't just ask him and even if we could, he wouldn't answer that one..." Again brilliant light flows around the small studio and with as much grace as possible in such a small location the Sun Goddess walks before the camera again. "Let me answer this one as well. The short answer would be yes. But the long answer... I once told him not to look into the sun, but he did anyway. Then I told him to never stick his head into one- -Havoc said he was too stupid to live- -a short-sighted draconequus. Anarchy couldn't stop laughing- -his father told him as punishment for disgracing the draconequi he was not allowed to erase the damage that- -he asked me if I had seen Celestia. I told him to get glasses.- -they were thicker than horseshoes. Destruction asked if he could annihilate these abominations.- -often changed them to look like oversized sunglasses- -he tried contact lenses but the chocolate rain made them fall out- "Ahm, Star Catcher... I am sorry to interrupt but how long does the rest of this story take?" "Just a few more hours and I would have explained the most basic facts. But I think we can leave it at that for now." With a slight smile the Sun Goddess disappeared in another brilliant flash of light. - "OH, and here's another with a question for Princess Celestia!" Pinkie Pie opened the envelope and read, "Dear Pinkie Pie, we learned that Fleur's grandmother was once two different stallions who were transformed into one mare after they hid under an illusion of Celestia to rob the royal treasury. How the hay did THAT work?" The pink party pony looked expectantly at Celestia. "Well," the sun princess said, "We seem to have a shortage of stallions, but I suppose for a mere demonstration... If we had some volunteers..." Once again, a racket breaks out offstage. Both Pinkie and Princess look to see Rarity and Applejack coming out, quarreling once more. "Now I tell you, Applejack," Rarity says, holding a fine set of clothes with her magic as she speaks, "Dressage is indeed a rodeo, but it's one involving style and grace rather than the brutish skills you normally call on. My cousin Imperial Lipizzaner has done very well in them." "I don't care," AJ snorted. "Any durn rodeo ya gotta dress up for like it was the Grand Galloping Gala just ta perform in ain't one I want anythin' ta do with." Both of them see Celestia and start to bow before Celestia stops them. "Once was enough for today, my little ponies. Would you like to help me show something to the audience?" "Why, sure, y'majesty!" "Oh, of course, your highness!" "Good. Now stand close together, very close. Withers against withers would be best." The white unicorn and palomino earth pony look confused, but do as asked, giving one another a glare as they do so. A golden glow goes along Celestia's horn, hiding the two ponies from view. A yell filled the air, and when the bright flash of Celestia's magic faded, everyone saw the results. A gold-coated unicorn with a luxurious purple mane and tail stood there, with the elegant build of Celestia or Luna. She bore AJ's cutie mark on one flank and Rarity's on the opposite. And as a final touch, Applejack's hat rested atop her head. "Wow, that's amazing!" Pinkie said. She bounced up the stunned looking unicorn mare. "Hi, RariJack!" "Hey there, Pinkie," she says in a voice like AJ's, and then in one like Rarity's, "Pinkie Pie? Wha-what happened to me? I feel the most awful desire to start rolling in mud, and..." The mare looked along herself and her eyes went wide with horror. "Oh, no! Of all the things that could have happened, this is the! Worst! Possible! Thing!" "Like you got a right ta complain!" 'RariJack' responded in a voice more like Applejack's. "Now ah want ta spend all day sewin' up fancy-schmancy dresses and makin' eyes at mahself in the mirror! An' Ah just stopped lookin' like Rarity, too!" RariJack threw herself at Celestia's forehooves, pleading, "Please, your majestyness, change us back ta normal! Oh, yes; I do NOT want to spend the rest of my life bucking apples and spreading fertilizer!" "No fears, my dear," Celestia says, fighting down a grin. Pinkie is almost rolling on the floor behind her as Celestia adds, "I said I would offer a demonstration, and I did. Now..." And the glow of her magic reappears, surrounding RariJack before, with a loud SNAP, it vanishes, leaving Applejack and Rarity once more separate, with the odd touch of AJ's hat on Rarity's head. "Oh, thank you ever so, Princess!" Applejack says in a voice oddly unlike hers as she turns to leave, adding, "I have simply GOT to get back to the boutique and see to my latest order!" "An' ah got to take care of some chores on the farm," Rarity says in an accent rather like AJ's as she turns to leave. As both mares trot, Celestia and Pinkie give each other worried looks. "Oh dear." - "Wow Star-Catcher They spoke with each other's accents but not each other's their voices." PInkie Pie noted. "Of course my little pony, vocal cords have nothing to do with minds and souls. But that isn't the problem." - Pinkie was handed another letter. "Oh! This one is for Princess Luna!" said Pinkie Pie. "'Dear Princess Luna; how are things with you Pip and now Dinky?" Princess Luna looked to Pinkie. "...Pip shall not see this? Or the tabloids?" "No, of course not, it's noncanon, the only ones who will see it are the audience." "We are glad. We have had a wonderful time, we have many imaginary adventures that are most fun. A young filly named Ruby Pinch has come to join our 'crew'. We had forgotten how fun it was to be a child, even if we have been one twice before. Though there was this one time...our magic reacted strangely and the adventure somehow became real...Thankfully, we managed to get our way out of that...You know, Pinkamenia Diane Pie, you were correct." "About what?" "You and Minty were right, lightening up and having fun was indeed something we needed desperately. Thank you." "Thank you for letting spontaneous musical numbers stay!" - Pinkie Pie waved at the camera, "HEY! The author just wanted to say THANK YOU for everyone who continues to add to the series' trope page, in particular the character page, it really means a lot. And also, we've got enough stuff written now for about four chapters! But we're not done with the story arc! But at least we're finally getting to where things start to get brighter. Come on, you know the author promised a happy ending. Dang. At this rate we'll never get the series done before the third season starts and we'll be render irrelevant.  Still, thanks everypony, and it's great to see everypony is loving my show! ... Hmm. I wonder if Applejack and Rarity switched bodies, or switched personalities so Rarity now thinks she's a farmer and AJ thinks she's a fashion designer with the skills to match, or really did just switch bodies and didn't notice they weren't in the right body . . . I guess we'll know if they start screaming." - "Oh well," Pinkie Pie said, "if anything goes wrong, I'm sure they'll let us know. And now, here's what we promised Princess Celestia," she nodded towards the sun princess, who showed a small grin as she nodded her own head, "something from her past, Twilight Sparkle's Masquerade. Ta-daaaa!" And as Pinkie waved a hoof off to the left, Rainbow Dash trotted out from that direction. Despite the jaunty air she affected, she looked dismayed. "Okay, I did it," the pegasus said in Twilight's voice. Her cheeks flamed even through the mask as she heard Fluttershy and Dash laughing offstage. "I'm pretending to be the most opposite in personality pony among my friends that I can be. Can I please remove the suit now?" "Not yet, Twi!" Pinkie called to the blue-coated, rainbow-maned pegasus. "Now act like Dash!" "Oh! Hmm..." 'Rainbow Dash' closed her eyes in concentration, tongue hanging from one corner of her mouth. Then she held her head up and said in what was obviously Twilight's voice, "I'm Rainbow Dash, the most awesome and cool pony ever..." "I'd say 'awesomest and coolest', Twi!" A scratchy voice called from off to the side. "Those aren't even words!" 'Dash' turned and hissed off to stage left, before she rolled her eyes and said, "Fine! I'm Rainbow Dash, the, uggh, 'awesomest and coolest' pony ever. And I adore overly risky flying, and I disdain stereotyped overly feminine attributes..." "NO!" Dash's scratchy voice called out from the side. A second Rainbow Dash flew out onto the stage, hovering beside her twin, whose ear began twitching spasmodically as the 'new' Dash spoke to her. "It's 'bestest flyer ever in all of Equestria' and 'I hate that girly stuff'. Geeze, get it right, okay?" She began to fly back, but stopped to call over her shoulder, "And oh yeah, 'And I never tried telling my friends how to do everything, unlike a certain prissy purple unicorn I allow to hang out with me.' 'Cause I gotta tell ya, Twi, sometimes you can get a little bossy." The grounded Dash gave her a murderous glare as she flew back off, with one last call back of, "And try and get my voice right! You make me sound like a librarian or something. I mean, Scootaloo could do me better. Bleah." Twilight ground her teeth and opened her mouth to say something just as a pair of equine screams arose from off camera. One somehow sounding elegant and refined; the other, rawer but more energetic. Everypony turned to look as Applejack and Rarity came charging back on stage. Rarity still wore Applejack's hat, and her usually pristine hide showed dirt stains and sweaty streaks; and Applejack was hard to recognize through the newly-applied eyeshadow and utterly lovely dress she was wearing. Both of them charged to stand before Celestia, ignoring Dash and the Dash-suited Twilight standing beside her. "Oh, Princess! I got back to my boutique, and when Sweetie Belle asked why I was using her sister's things, I looked into my French mirror and noticed..." "I started pullin' Mac's plow ta help out, an' Winona snarled an' bit me..." Both sobbed and threw themselves at Celestia's hooves. "CHANGE US BACK TO NORMAL! FOREVER! PLEASE!" Celestia opened her mouth, but before she could say anything, Twilight-Dash said, "Princess, may I take care of this, please? You've done so much today." Rarity and Applejack looked at her in worry as Twilight's horn tore through the forehead of the Dash-suit, glowing brightly. Dash flew back away, muttering, "No offense, Twi, but I'm clearing the blast radius." On her opposite side, Pinkie Pie crouched down behind a stone wall that hadn't been there before, her poofy curls hidden under a steel helmet. "Uhh, no offense, Twilight, but given how these things tend to go in the fanfics and how much trouble those suits have already been..." "Twilight," Celestia said warningly as the glow intensified, "Are you sure you can handle this spell? It is VERY difficult, and you only saw me cast it twice today..." Twilight said nothing. The glow of her magic grew brighter, illuminating the huddled together and cowering Rarity and Applejack before it burst silently, filling the stage. It faded, leaving the ponies to blink away the stars dancing before their eyes. Twilight reappeared from the heart of it, now stripped of the Rainbow Dash suit. The shreds from before were gone; and even the still whole Rarity suit from the corner was vanished. "What happened?" Applejack said, the dress rustling as she shook herself. "Am Ah me again? Yah!" She swiftly peeled the dress off before snatching her hat back from Rarity's head. "Darn it, Rarity, that ain't no way to go wearin' my hat!" "I am filthy!" Rarity wailed. "I'll have to spend all day in the spa to get clean again..." The rest of her complaint went unheard as her friends group-hugged her and Applejack. "Girls, please!" Rarity said after a moment. "I am so delighted that everything went the way it should, but what about my costumes? I worked so hard on them... You simply would not believe how hard it was to work poison joke into them so that they worked the way I wanted them to..." "Poison Joke?" Twilight gave Rarity a stare. "Rarity, how did you?... Never mind. You should have told me that beforehoof! The effect on my magic could be erratic. There's no telling where those things could have ended up." ...And some distance away in Ponyville, in the library, another 'Rarity' stood watching herself in Twilight's mirror with what looked like the emptied-out forms of Applejack and Rainbow Dash laying at her feet like shed skins. "Eh," 'she' said in a voice remarkably like Spike's, "I can learn to live with it." - "What am I going to do now? I haven't got anymore letters...Oh, I know! Find more fun things to say!" "Now I know cherry, chimichanga and kumquat are fun words to say, but how about watermelon wombat? Watermelon, wombat, watermelon, wombat, WATERMELON WOMBAT! This is so fun! Watermelon, wombat watermelon wombat, waterm-- A letter appears in a flash of light. Pinkie hops over to it and says with a smile, "Ooh! Another letter! I'm getting popular aren't I? Let's see... 'How are Twilight and the others doing? Is Twilight still in the Rainbow Dash suit?" Pinkie claps her hooves together and says "Yay! This is a two question question! You bronies sure know how to party! The answer to your first question is...." Pinkie Pie shrugs her shoulders. "Heck if I know!" "The answer to your second question is... Pinkie grins and starts bouncing. "Let's find out!" Pinkie reaches into hammerspace again and pulls out a wooden door. "Now, this one should be the right one. Hopefully, I don't open a portal to another dimension like I did last time. That took forever to clean up!" Pinkie bounces over to the door and pulls it open. Out tumble 'Rainbow Dash', her 'twin', Fluttershy and Applejack, with Rarity levitating a purple unicorn out on to the stage. "Rarity! Put me down! " 'Twilight' yells. "Put me down, or you won't have enough hair left for me to turn green!" Rarity faints, and by extension, drops 'Twilight' on to the ground. 'Twilight' lands with a tremendous "OOMPH!" on top of Applejack. "Now get offa me! Sweet Granny Smith, you're heavier than a sack of hay." Both 'Rainbow Dash' and her 'twin' start to double up over in laughter. "Get me out of this suit! I cannot be made to suffer this horrendous injustice any longer!" 'Twilight' glares at 'Rainbow Dash'. "Get me out!" 'Rainbow Dash' sighs and puts her hoof to her head. "I can't change you back! Princess Celestia put some kind of magic dampening spell on this suit. As long as I wear it, I can't use magic!" 'Twilight' concentrates and tries to cast a spell, but nothing happens. "You are right. I cannot cast a spell either." "Can one of you help us get out of these things?" 'Rainbow Dash' asked her twin and the others. Rarity's eyes began to widen. "GASP! My creations are a work of art, designed to be worn and admired! Not to be thrown away, like pieces of trash! Me, harming my creations or worse, destroying them? You must be joking!" Rarity gave both 'Rainbow Dash' and 'Twilight' a coy smile. Rainbow Dash winks and smiles. "Twilight, why exactly would I want to take away your new found awesomeness? You look about 20% cooler than you were when you were an egghead. What kind of friend would I be if I destroyed that? Plus, that look really suits you!" Applejack looks at 'Twilight' and with a half smile says "I hafta agree with Rainbow Dash on this one Trixie. Ah think that takin' a leaf outta Twilight's book would be good for ya. It would be good to see inside another's skin." Fluttershy nodds. "I do agree with Applejack....erm, that is, if you want me too. You both would really do well with this." Applejack then puts both of her hooves around 'Twilight' and 'Rainbow Dash' and says, "Besides, Ah think it would be fun!" Pinkie Pie suddenly pops up and says, "Yippee! Now the fun can really start!" Pinkie Pie pushes a button, and the stage switches from couches and fireplaces to something out of a nightclub scene, complete with a dance floor, large speakers, a turn-table, a bandstand, and disco ball. Pinkie gets onto the floor with a microphone and starts speaking. Good evening fillies and gentlecolts! My name is Pinkie Pie, and I am here to say, I'm gonna make you smile, and I will brighten up your day, with a big Pinkie Pie welcome to the 1st Annual Mane Six Epic Dance Battle Competition! Sounds of clapping are heard, and Pinkie, buoyed up by the applause makes a few jokes. "So there was this one about a chicken and a duck.. Oh, sorry. Pinkie clears her throat, and speaks again. Our MC for tonight is the mare with the mad mix, the dance music master, DJ-Pon3! Also joining our music parade is the suave and sophisticated pony with a perkiness for classical, Octavia! The rules are simple have fun! So, let the dancing begin! 'Twilight' gets pushed onto the stage by the others "You first!" says Pinkie happily. "Very well, I will only participate if you make a Pinkie Promise to get myself and Twilight out of these suits! 'Twilight' glares at Pinkie. "Ok, ok! I promise to get you out of those suits as soon as you're done with this battle. Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye!" "Alright." 'Twilight' says. "Let the humiliation begin!" 'Twilight' then proceeds to drink a bottle of some sort of liquid, and starts dancing. She sways around with a grimace on her face, going very slowly, not by the music which is very fast and upbeat. After a few minutes, Pinkie comes out onto the floor, takes 'Twilight's' hoof and stats spinning her like a top. "Come on! Have some fun!" "Pinkie, this isn't such a good i--- SWEET CAKE-EATING CELESTIA!" Pinkie lets go of the spinning 'Twilight' and she lands with a soft thump in a pile of pillows brought out for the occasion. 'Twilight' and Pinkie both collapse into giggles. The others applaud her, and Twilight even laughs a little too. "Great job Trixie! You dance better than me as me!" 'Twilight' smiles, a little self-consciously. A disc scratch is heard as the melody changes. Instead of the bubbly song that was playing a few moments ago, a ripping guitar solo is heard out of the loud speakers. "Awww yeah! This is my jam!" Rainbow Dash says while flying around the floor. "I'm next!" Rainbow starts to fly to the music. She loops around, swerves and dodges invisible enemies, does a mini-Sonic Rainboom and as the song hits and ear-shattering chorus, pulls out of a nosedive, and does a power slide across the floor. "YEAHH!" Rainbow yells as fire shoots out of the floor, and the song ends. "That was so awesome!" Rainbow Dash squeals. She goes to stand by 'Twilight' and watch the others, as they all clap and cheer. A soft "Yay!" is heard, and Rainbow Dash smiles. The music changes again, and all of the lights are extinguished, save for single spotlight. A soft, orchestral number starts playing. Rarity looks over at Pinkie, and says "Darling, I cannot possibly dance! I have no partner!" Pinkie smiles and winks. "Don't worry! I got you one! He's waiting for you on the other side of the room!" Rarity trots over to the spotlight, and Prince Blueblood comes out of the darkness. Rarity gasps, and almost hoof-punches him in the face, but Rarity remembers the first rule of high society dancing. "A Lady must not show any discomfort, even to an odious partner." "Long time no see, Miss Rarity" Blueblood sneers. Oh, by all of Luna's stars! Why do I have to dance with him! I have to put on a good face. Just smile, and think of Canterlot. Out loud, she says, "Good evening, Prince." Rarity holds out her hoof, her face a mask of cool composure, and quiet dignity. "Shall we dance?" "We shall." As the music continues to play, Rarity and Blueblood waltz in time to the music. Rarity leaps and Blueblood catches her. He spins her, and she follows his lead. They both move artificially, each praying for the music to stop. When the music finally stops, they each give each other a quick bow and Blueblood blows a royal raspberry at her. Rarity follows him out into the darkness. When the lights are back on, Blueblood is hanging by a hoof form a rafter. "Get me off! I demand an explanation for this! Why am I being treated like this? I am a part of the Royal Family!" Giggling, Rainbow Dash unties him, and he lands in Pinkie's arms. "Well, thanks for stopping by, Princie!" He gives a little squeak, and bolts off the stage. Rarity smiles. "He stuck his tongue at me. I must say, you cannot expect me to let that insult to my honor go unchallenged. Pinkie, why did you make me dance with that detestable creature?" Pinkie shrugged. "Because the author told me to. She said something about comedic effect. Judging by your face, she was right!" Pinkie giggles and bounces away, leaving Rarity looking confused. The music starts up again. This time both the orchestra and the turntables are in full swing, creating an upbeat song, with an undertone of classical. 'Rainbow Dash' starts bobbing her head to the beat. "I think this would be a suitable song for me to dance to." Before her 'twin' can give her any warnings to not make her body 'lose it's awesomeness, 'Rainbow Dash' starts dancing. She stands up, and starts doing an odd shake and shimmy. She prances around on tiptoe, then starts swaying and skipping. She stands up on two legs, does a few disco moves, and as the song ends, stops and bows, but goes too far and trips. As 'Rainbow Dash' lands on her face, her 'twin' smacks her own head with her hoof. All of the others start to giggle. "Sorry, Rainbow!" 'Rainbow Dash' tells her twin. "That's..ok..." her 'twin' replies. "No one from Ponyville is actually going to see this, right?" she asks pinkie, an embarrassed took crossing her face. "Of course silly filly! We went over the rules already!" "Rainbow Dash exhales in relief. The music starts up again, and this time a fiddler starts playing. A mechanical bull rises out of the floor, and cacti are in the corner for decoration. Applejack's foot starts tapping, and she puts her hat on. "This is a fine dancin' song!" Applejack says happily. "Ah think it's my turn!" Applejack starts to do a one pony-square-dance. She promenades and do-si-do's, and spins around and around and around. In the middle of the song, Applejack suddenly leaps onto the bull, and stats shouting "Yee haw!!" The bull suddenly speeds up. "Who, Pinkie, Ah think this is going too fast for m-- WOAH NELLY! Applejack flies off of the bull as the song ends, and lands in a hay stack. "That was the most fun Ah've had in a while." The others clap her on the back as she trots over to them. "That was so perfect!" - Applejack untangles herself form the hay stack, and trots over to her friends, laughing heartily. "Ah never though that bulls could be so rough! Ah think I'll stick to herding cattle. At least they don't try and buck you off!" Fluttershy, with a shocked look on her face, says, "I never knew bulls were so temperamental...Maybe it was hungry!" Pinkie suddenly bounces onto the dance floor, and grins a large grin. "I think this is my cue. The music is going to start up, right....NOW!!" As if on cue, the music starts. It is very bubbly song, fun and easy to dance to, and Pinkie starts to bounce around to the beat. This disco ball lights up. "Ohh, this song is catchy! It's as addictive as espresso, which I now keep around with me everywhere I go." As if to demonstrate this fact, Pinkie opens up and inserts her hoof into hammerspace again and pulls out a china cup filled with bitter brown liquid. Pinkie looks straight into a camera pointed at the dance floor and frowns a little bit. "Hey, I know that this joke seems over-used, but no one said that coffee has to have the same effect every time you drink it, right? Right? Plus, it has 20% more caffeine! Bottom's up!" Pinkie then proceeds to down the whole cup, in one sitting. A pink blur is seen rocketing around the dance floor, picking up ponies and spinning them around like tops. It, somehow, tap-dances on tiptoe, and does some very fast and high leaps. The music is sped up to fit the chaotic dancing, so everything sounds like a fast and furious cacophony of noise. The pink blur, rocketed around the stage, knocking into a punch bowl, sending it flying. "IlikedancinglikethisitisfunIreallylovethiscoffeeI'mgladibroughtitalongcomeoneeverypony LET'S PARTY!" The pink blur rockets up into the ceiling, and a loud CRASH! is heard as instead of a disco ball, there is now a Pinkie-ball hanging from the ceiling. Pinkie's legs and arms are sticking out of half of the disco ball, and her head is encased in a sparkly shell. "I'm ok!" Pinkie says, her voice a bit muffled. "Wow, that coffee was delicious! Now, how exactly do I get out of this? Eh, I'll figure it out. The plot must continue! 'Rainbow Dash' shakes her head. "Pinkie, how exactly do you always manage to put yourself in highly dangerous situations, emerge from them unscathed, and have enough energy to spout off nonsense to everypony afterward?" Pinky shrugs and says "I never questioned it. I lived through the Generation Transformation right? Or maybe it's not that. Maybe it was the espresso..." 'Rainbow Dash' puts her hoof to her head and sighs. Fluttershy looks up at Pinkie. A frown crosses hr face, as she says "Maybe we should..erm..let Pinkie d-" The music starts up again. A flute starts playing, and Fluttershy stops speaking. She starts to sway, as if mesmerized, at the music of the flute. She says softly, "Wow. It sounds like birds singing, and animals playing. So happy...I'm so sorry Pinkie. I'll...just help you down, after I dance." The others watch Fluttershy walk to the middle of the dance floor, hardly daring to speak. Fluttershy reaches the middle if the floor and starts to dance. Light and timid, she flies and leaps softly and slowly. She does pirouettes and even starts to hum to the music. As the music reaches a crescendo, Fluttershy leaps up high into the air, spreads out her wings and flies for a bit, finally returning to the ground when the music stops. The others stare at Fluttershy, openmouthed. A subtle shift, and Fluttershy turns into FluterCruel. "Hah! You should all see your faces! You all look like a dragon just flew over and started to hit you in the face with a rubber chicken! Ha Ha!" One shift later, and FlutterCruel becomes Fluttershy again. "I am so sorry! I really need to talk to her about that.." The others, throughout this whole exchange, still have their mouths open. As they come to their senses, Rarity gushes, "Oh darling! I never knew you could dance like that!" Fluttershy, a bit embarrassed squeaks out, "Oh! Thank you so much for that compliment..ehrm...it was nothing." Pinkie Pie goes to the middle of the floor with a microphone. "The First Annual Mane Six Epic Dance Competition has ended. Now it's time to announce the winners!" A flash of white light appears, and Princess Celestia walks out onto the stage, and stands next to Pinkie Pie. "This was some of the best fun that I have had in a long time, just seeing you all laugh and have fun. For that, you are all winners. Twilight, Trixie, could you please come up here? 'Rainbow Dash' and 'Twilight' both walk up to the Princess. Celestia touches them with her horn, whispers a spell, and the suits fall off and fold into neat piles. Pinkie then smiles, and says, "Well, that was fun!" She reaches into hammerspace once again, and brings out a large chocolate cake. "Now, who want's cake?" (A/N (Acalanthide ): That's it. Finished. Done! Hope you all liked it!) - Pinkie receives another letter. "Ah, here's another question. 'Dear Pinkie Pie; can people from other realities come here?'" she read. "That's an excellent question! Yes, we can, thanks to my own personal hole in the fourth wall, and this being non-canon. But I'm sure there are some universes the author wants off limits." "Pinkie! Why is there an Alicorn filly following me around that thinks I'm her mother?" called Twilight. "Oh, don't cry, I didn't mean to hurt your feelings...Pinkie!" "Oh! That's just your daughter from an alternate universe! Her name is Nyx!" Pinkie replied. "Don't worry, I got permission to bring her here, that Twilight Sparkle isn't one I want to make mad."