In which painfully gained progress is swiftly undone.
Teagan settled on the couch and closed her eyes. Now that the Ghrian suite held a dozen trolls it seemed far smaller than it had with her and a half dozen ponies. Even Fjell’s visit hadn’t crowded the suite this much.
“This is unbelievable!” Emma exclaimed in awe. “Teagan, look at this place! It’s amazing! I’m actually afraid to sit down. What if I break something?”
Without opening her eyes Teagan reached up and grabbed Emma’s arm, yanking her down on the couch next to her.
“Problem solved,” she said, chuckling. “It’s designed to be lived in, you know. Just don’t eat anything messy in here and you’ll be fine.”
“Easy for you to say! I bet you stayed here last time, didn’t you?” Her friend asked.
“Both times, actually. The first time I didn’t get to enjoy it because I was confined to bed for two weeks while my feet healed up. The second time I was just too busy and too worried. Maybe this time I’ll get to enjoy myself.”
A loud knock came from the suite door.
“Or not,” Teagan sighed. She started to struggle to her feet to answer the door but before she could Søyle came hurrying out of her room and did it.
Teagan stood there blinking in surprise.
“Lady-in-waiting, remember?” Emma said, giggling.
“She’s the king’s wife!” Teagan hissed at the other girl. “She shouldn’t be doing little things like that.”
“Why not?” Emma asked. “Don’t you know what a lady-in-waiting does?”
“Not really,” Teagan admitted, watching as Søyle stood aside and let a young stallion walk into the room.
Colt, not stallion, she corrected herself as she saw how small the teal unicorn was. She admired his mane, a teal and dark blue combination that complemented his coat rather than contrasted with it. His cutie mark was a silver spool holding golden thread, one end snaking its way halfway down his leg. She’d never seen such a large cutie mark before.
“Dronning, a messenger has come,” Søyle said formally.
The colt moved forward and made a picture perfect bow. “Your Majesty, Princess Sparkle requests your presence as well as Lady Emma’s. I would be honored to show you the way.”
Teagan smiled. She’d never heard of Princess Sparkle but the colt’s solemn tone and serious demeanor made him devastatingly adorable. She fought the urge to gather him in for a cuddle. She doubted he’d appreciate it.
“How did she know about me?” Emma asked, standing.
“Good question,” Teagan responded. “Maybe Princess Celestia told her? Her chariot’s a lot faster than the train. She’d have beaten us back by an hour and a half.”
“Her Royal Highness has not yet returned, Your Majesty,” the page said, dipping his horn respectfully. “But I’m sure Princess Sparkle will be happy to answer your question.”
“What’s your name?” Teagan asked, realizing the colt hadn’t introduced himself.
“My most humble apologies, Your Majesty. My name is Glittering Bobbin. However, you may call me Bobbin if you prefer.”
“All right, Bobbin. Lead the way.”
When Skrent and Flint moved to guard her back she waved them off.
“You two relax. It’s been a rough day and you deserve a break. Besides, I doubt I’ll need you inside the castle itself,” Teagan and Emma followed the page as he left the suite.
ooOoo
“Your joke is in very poor taste,” Celestia said coldly.
“I’m not joking, Celestia,” Discord said, turning serious for a moment. “Those ghost fleas will continue to torment you until I turn Chrysalis back and you roll in a big patch of poison joke. And then you have to live with the effects a full day before trying to find a cure. Pardon me while I indulge myself in some well deserved schadenfreude.”
“Very well. Have your little prank,” she grimaced. “Change your shape so we can get on with this.”
“Hmm. What shape shall I wear? You ponies are such a diverse lot. It’s an embarrassment of riches, really. Maybe an earth pony? No, too plain. But pegasi are so noisy and violent. Oh, and of course unicorns are so stuffy. What to choose, what to choose…”
“Discord,” Celestia growled. “Pick one. It doesn’t matter. All three tribes have doctors!”
“Well I certainly won’t pick alicorn,” he sniffed. “You and your sister are just way too impatient, Celestia. I’ll never get this opportunity again! I want it to be just perfect. After all, it’s not every day I see my greatest rival brought low.”
Celestia closed her eyes and snapped her tail viciously against her shoulder. She winced and then relaxed. “You’re not doing yourself any favors you know. Fun is fun, but this is really uncomfortable.”
“You have no conception of what uncomfortable means, Princess,” Discord said, growing still. “Try standing rigid for a thousand years if you want to know what uncomfortable feels like. Or maybe having your leg broken—or your neck. I can testify from personal experience how uncomfortable each of those things is!”
His snarl melted into a big smile.
“Oh, but what am I saying? The longer you’re like this the longer I have to wait to watch your cure! How silly of me. I really plan to enjoy your cure.”
“Why?” Celestia asked, alarmed.
“Because while I have no idea exactly what will happen—poison joke is so unpredictable—I know the more magically powerful the victim is the more, um, extravagant the pranks become. I am simply agog when I consider what you might experience.”
“And what if one of the pranks is dropping the sun on Equestria?” Celestia asked, snapping her tail under her belly and wincing again.
“Why are you whipping yourself?” Discord asked, distracted.
“It makes the itch stay away longer,” Celestia answered. “Your turn. How do we know I won’t become a danger to everyone?”
“The only person poison joke can endanger is my sister. For anyone else—and that includes you—it’s limited to harmless, if annoying, pranks,” Discord said. “Of course you needn’t take my word for it. If you don’t trust me you don’t have to subject yourself to the poison joke. You might even grow to enjoy the itching.”
She glared at him.
“Well, stranger things have happened, you must admit,” Discord said. He snapped his fingers and morphed into a tall white unicorn with blue eyes and golden mane and tail. His cutie mark was two overlaid four-pointed stars, the front one gold and the rear one blue.
Celestia groaned, closing her eyes.
“Now, vere is mine patient?” Discord said with Germane accent and a sparkling smile.
ooOoo
Earth, Saturday morning, May 28, 2013 9:56 AM
“The way I see it,” Evelyn said as the quartet discussed this latest disaster, “you play outraged innocents. They already know we want Emma to come back, so tomorrow at sunrise we contact Twilight again and tell her we need Teelo back here for a day or so. Once she’s back you call the social worker, quietly express outrage and demonstrate there was no neglect. Quick, calm, effective. Meanwhile you hire me to investigate the school counselor. If she’s petty enough to sic the DCF on somebody for refusing to answer her questions, she’s probably left a trail of other indiscretions big enough to use as leverage.”
“Isn’t that extortion?” Elaine asked uneasily.
“It’s a gray area,” Evelyn said frankly. “But we aren’t asking her for money, only to leave us alone. Neither she nor we want this to come out publicly. There’s simply no benefit to either side. Right now she thinks she’s untouchable. If we show her she’s vulnerable and give her an out, she’ll take it.”
“That makes me very uncomfortable,” Elaine said shaking her head. “It’s like we’re the bad guys.”
“Do we even know it was her?” John asked with a worried frown.
“No, but she’s certainly at the top of the suspect list,” the PI replied. “I’ll be able to find out one way or the other. If she isn’t, we do nothing. Of course that would mean someone else did it, and from what I gathered nobody else has motive, right?”
“Not that I know of,” John admitted. “I don’t know we can afford to hire you, though. They don’t pay college professors that well,” His tone was apologetic.
Evelyn waved his objection away. “Just give me one of the gems from Equestria, a nice ruby, maybe. That way I really am working for you,” she grinned evilly. “I would do it for free but having me on retainer gives us a lot more flexibility.”
“Thank you,” he said with relief. “I never thought Teagan’s adventures could hit so close home. Speaking of which did you ever come up with a way to deal with the gold and gems?”
“I have a lawyer friend working on it,” Evelyn said. “He tells me it might be a little tricky, but there’s some legal mumbo-jumbo he can pull. You know lawyers,” she rolled her eyes. “It’s all legal, but you may not like the odor of it.”
“Why?” Elaine asked sharply.
“It basically involves setting up a blind trust,” Evelyn said. “There’s a lot more to it but the end result is that the trust is managed outside your control and you receive the income from it. That income is taxed as normal.”
“What about the original declaration?” John asked. “You know, establishing the trust?”
“That—is a bit of legalistic sophistry that’s beyond me,” Evelyn admitted. “But he assures me it’s all legal. It’s amazing what lawyers can get away with. Oh, Matt, I assume you want in on this?”
“Yeah. Those gems aren’t doing me any good sitting in the safety deposit box,” Matt said. “Even assuming I retired now and went to Equestria for good they aren’t worth nearly as much there as they are here, so it’s not like I can just horde them. Next time I go back I’m going to explore the possibility of doing some trading.”
“I don’t know how that could work,” John objected mildly. “The only ones who can open the bridge are Subtle Dancer and the princesses. I doubt they’d be willing to do it regularly.”
“That just means I have to bring over something small that’s valuable to them,” Matt grinned. “Surely our tech can come up with something useful to Equestria. Magic can’t solve everything.”
ooOoo
“Teelo!” Twilight exclaimed happily as Bobbin brought them to her chambers. “It’s great to see you!”
“Been too long, Twilight! But how come you’re in Canterlot? I thought you lived in Ponyville. And what’s this about being a princess?” Teagan hugged her. “Hi, Spike!”
“Hey Teelo,” Spike waved, grinning.
“Well, I had to move back once this happened, didn’t I?” Twilight half-spread her wings and refolded them.
Teagan’s jaw dropped. “Wi-wi-wings?” She stared at Twilight in shock, noting how Twilight’s horn was slightly but noticeably longer than it had been. “You’re an alicorn? When did that happen? How could that happen?”
“It’s a long story,” Twilight said. “Didn’t Sun Hammer tell you?”
“No, he didn’t,” Teagan said. “He didn’t tell me about Discord either.”
“Ah. Well, that explains why he ended up plowing into Celestia’s tea table,” Twilight giggled. “You smacked him with Crush, right?”
“Yeah. As hard as I could,” Teagan blushed. “I had a flashback.”
“Oh, that’s terrible. Are you okay?” Twilight asked in concern.
“I’m okay. As much as I hate to admit it, I think smashing him with Crush was catharsis for me. It also doesn’t hurt that he’s afraid of me now,” Teagan chuckled grimly. “But I did promise Princess Celestia as long as he doesn’t try to hurt me or mine I’ll leave him alone.”
“Well, that’s good. I admit I had my doubts when she first asked us to reform him, but it seems to have worked,” Twilight said. “I guess even Discord isn’t immune to Fluttershy’s kindness. Nobody can resist her for long.”
“You know, I can see it,” Teagan said slowly. “She’s a living lesson in not judging a book by its cover, isn’t she?”
“Oh, I like that,” Twilight said with a wide smile. “I have to remember that one!”
“You’ve never heard it before?” Emma broke into the conversation. “I thought you lived in a library?”
“I do—well did,” Twilight responded cheerfully. “You must be Emma. Welcome to Equestria.”
“Thanks, but how did you know my name?” Emma asked curiously. “I didn’t think Equestria had phones.”
“What’s a phone?” Twilight cocked her head, her thirst for knowledge suddenly prodded. “Is that a human thing? What does it do?”
“It lets you talk to someone far away,” Emma said. “But if you don’t know what a phone is I guess you don’t have them after all. So how did you know about me?”
“Oh, I talked to your parents about an hour ago,” Twilight said calmly. “They want you to come home as soon as possible.”
Both girls goggled at her, making her giggle.
“You look like Fluttershy’s frogs,” she teased them.
“You’re just full of surprises today,” Teagan said, recovering. “How in the world did you pull that one off?”
“The figurines we gave you,” Twilight replied. “Mine had an experimental spell in it called Tairseach Urlabhra. When Emma went missing your parents talked to my simulacrum and she cast the spell. It worked!” Twilight beamed at them.
“And this spell lets you use the figurine to talk to my parents?” Teagan asked. “By the way, how come nobody ever mentioned those statues could talk? It would have been nice to know before Emma stumbled across it accidentally!”
Twilight blinked. “Didn’t Princess Celestia tell you about the simulacra spells cast on them? I spent hours modeling for my simulacrum’s anima.”
“No, she didn’t,” Teagan said drily. “If she had I never would have given them to Emma to keep safe for me while I was here, and Emma would never have discovered the secret of Equestria and snuck over the bridge with us—and then nearly gotten herself killed when Chrysalis ambushed us.”
“WHAT?” Twilight screeched, loudly enough to bring two gray unicorn guards bursting through the door.
“Is everything all right, Princess Sparkle?” The one on the left demanded, eyeing the two humans.
“Yes, everything’s fine. I just got some surprising news. Sorry to worry you, Steeplechase, false alarm. Everything’s fine,” Twilight said, blushing slightly.
The guards saluted and returned to their posts.
“Gee, Twilight, overreaction much?” Spike sniggered, then sobered. “What’s this about Chrysalis ambushing you?”
“She had an army with her,” Teagan said, turning grim. “There was a huge fight. It—didn’t end well.”
“What do you mean?” Twilight’s pupils widened until her eyes were nearly all black.
Teagan looked at Twilight and then at Spike and meaningfully back to Twilight.
“Spike, maybe you should step out for a few minutes,” Twilight suggested.
“Oh no! No way are you getting rid of me!” Spike said firmly. “I may be a baby by dragon standards but not by pony ones! I’m almost an adult by pony reckoning. I’m tired of being treated like a baby, Twilight! Whatever it is I can handle it.”
“Funny, you should say that, Spike,” Emma said softly. The dragon looked at her curiously. “I said exactly the same thing before I snuck over the Bridge. I thought I could handle it. I thought I was grown up.”
She stared at him with a lack of expression that sent a shiver down the purple dragon’s spine.
“But you know what? I was wrong. I’d give anything to forget what I saw. Trust me—you do not want to know.”
“You’re going to tell Twilight,” he said resentfully. “She’s only five years older than I am.”
“Spike,” Teagan’s voice was gentle. She waited a moment until she was sure she had his attention. “I told the Mayor of Ponyville exactly the same thing I’m telling you. You do not want to hear this. It’s not because I think you can’t handle it. It’s not because I think you’re a coward. There are some secrets so horrible no one should ever have to keep them. As the Dronning av Fjellet, the Queen of the Mountain, I beg you, listen to me. You will be happier not knowing. Please don’t make me tell you.”
Spike’s eyes grew wide.
“Is it really that terrible?” Twilight asked softly.
“It is worse,” Teagan answered quietly, still watching the dragon. “Please, Spike. Don’t make me darken your life. Please.”
“I’m Twilight’s number one assistant,” Spike said, straightening. “If she has to bear a terrible secret, she won’t do it alone. Go ahead and tell me.”
Twilight’s eyes widened even further. “Spike, no, don’t do this,” she whispered.
“Sorry, Twilight. No can do,” he shook his head. “Tell me.”
“You’re sure?” Teagan asked sadly. “You must never tell anyone else, do you understand?”
“Yes,” the small dragon stared at her steadily.
“All right. When Chrysalis attacked us, and we were about to die, Subtle Dancer cast a spell,” Teagan paused.
“What kind of spell?” Twilight asked.
“You remember the ring of torches the guards always set up in the Bridge clearing?” Teagan asked. The alicorn nodded.
“His spell turned them into dragon fire,” Teagan said bleakly. “Every changeling within sixty feet was killed, burned to a husk. Hundreds of them.”
Twilight looked confused for a moment, and then her irises contracted to pinpoints as it finally sank in. She sat down with a thump, shocked speechless. Spike turned pale and swayed on his feet.
“Two of Chrysalis’s elite guards attacked Subtle Dancer,” Teagan continued. “They were bigger than Sun Hammer, probably as big as Princess Celestia. Sun Hammer managed to kill one, but the other savaged Subtle Dancer before Flint and Skrent managed to drive it off.”
“When Chrysalis finally hit the ground the rest of the changelings collapsed in pain. But her personal guards wouldn’t stop fighting. In the end we had to kill them too.”
“Kill…” Twilight shuddered. “So Chrysalis is dead?”
“I thought I’d killed her, but when we dug her up from the bottom of the impact crater we found out she was still alive.”
Twilight’s eyes were already as wide as they could go but her jaw dropped.
“Where is she now?”
“Ponyville Hospital,” Teagan replied, “Celestia’s probably already interrogated her. Along with ten changelings that managed to survive the fire spell. They were blinded and their wings burned off but I’m told regeneration spells can heal their wings and eyes.”
“He—he killed them? With dragon fire?” Spike asked, holding one paw over his stomach, a nauseated look on his face. “How could he do that? Ponies don’t kill their enemies!”
“Sometimes you don’t have a choice, Spike,” Teagan said gently. “If Subtle Dancer hadn’t used that spell I’d be dead right now. So would Emma, and Sun Hammer, and everyone else in that clearing.”
“But, wouldn’t they just have captured you?” Spike asked pleadingly.
“No, Spike. Chrysalis ordered them to kill us. I heard her say it. In fact, she shouted it. She wanted us to hear.”
A tear rolled down Spike’s cheek. Everyone pretended not to notice.
“You were right. I should have left when you asked,” he said miserably.
ooOoo
The two trolls watched each other silently for a good five minutes. Finally, Fjell stood slowly, pushing himself up with the axe as though he were exhausted. His eyes never left Sannheten’s.
“You will not die this day, Rådgiver,” Fjell rumbled. “Shall I tell you why?”
“I listen,” the old troll said, still wary.
“I have spoken with Alene Avgrunn concerning the death of my father in the past, asking why justice was never dealt for his murder. Oddly, he never mentioned you. And he refused to call the deed murder, for he claimed it was honorable combat, that both Sun Hammer and my father faced each other fairly.”
He grimaced. “I would have still slain Sun Hammer without a thought. Had I known about you earlier I would have killed you as well, for all that the Law does not condemn you. I would gladly have become forsworn so long as I could have your blood on my claws. I would have forsaken my kingdom to avenge my father. I tell you this so you may know what it costs me to spare your life.”
“Then why stay your hand now?” The Rådgiver asked. If the two had been human his question might have goaded Fjell into attacking. But they were trolls, thus Sannheten’s question was an honest one, and Fjell answered.
“You owe your life to the Dronning. She is clan with Sun Hammer, she is his friend, and yet she still mourned my father’s death even though she never met him. It was she that opened my eyes, showing me Sun Hammer lost nearly as much as my father on that day. For nothing.”
Fjell’s eyes narrowed with the first sign of emotion he’d shown so far in their confrontation. “My father died for nothing, Sannheten of clan Inngang. You killed him for nothing. Your debt is so great you could not repay it if you lived a hundred lifetimes.”
“Your life is now mine, Rådgiver. For however long you live, you will live your life as I direct. You will give me your unquestioned support in council; you will strive in all things to enact my will. Whatever goals you had those long years ago are no more. Clan Inngang will now ally itself to Herskere in all decisions. Swear this.”
“I swear to serve you faithfully, Kongen Fjell of clan Herskere,” the old troll said heavily. “I will vote as you direct. Clan Inngang will ally with Herskere. I will serve you with my whole strength. I, Sannheten, acknowledge my debt, and vow to do what I might to pay it. I have said what I shall do.”
Fjell nodded grimly, then turned and hung his axe back on the wall.
“Assemble the council,” he said, turning back. “The dead have risen to stalk the living once more. The Deepest Dark stirs. We must be ready to face it.”
Sannheten shuddered, then bowed and strode from the chamber.
ooOoo
“Now, meine fräulein, vat ist ze problem?” The tall white-coated unicorn smiled at Chrysalis as he made a show of examining her, complete with glowing horn. “Ach, meine güte, the spine is gebrochen, how you say, kaput! Nein, this will not do at all! Must fix, ja, schnell like bunny! So you can run and play, ja?”
Chrysalis stared at him in disbelief, and then turned to Celestia.
“This is going to heal my broken spine?” She asked incredulously. “He can’t even speak Equestrian!”
“Ja, meine Equestrian ist not so güte, from Germaney I come. Dr. Ludwig von Pferd at your service, hübsche Stute. Do not worry! I fix you up, blitzschnell. You vill see! Like so!” The unicorn’s horn blazed and there was a loud crack.
Chrysalis yelped and leaped off the bed without considering the fact her back legs didn’t work. Celestia was about to try and catch her when both of them realized the changeling queen was standing on four legs instead of sprawling on the floor, the sheet still half-draped over her hindquarters.
She blinked. “I stand corrected,” she said dryly. Dr. von Pferd broke into a braying whinny of laughter.
“Ist güte joke, fräulein! Now, valk around ze room, if you plis. See if spine ist fixed,” he grinned at her.
Obediently the changeling queen did as she was bid, carefully. She walked around the room, then irritably used her magic to dump the sheet back on the bed. With a smile she turned a tight circle, as though she were chasing her tail. Satisfied she nodded at the doctor.
“Dr. von Pferd, my apologies for doubting your skills.”
“Nein, do not fret,” the unicorn said dismissively. “It vas nix.”
Chrysalis suddenly stepped into the bathroom doorway and rubbed hard against the edge of the door. “Oh, this infernal itching is driving me mad! Celestia, how can you stand this?”
“I’m trying to ignore it,” Celestia responded with gritted teeth. “I’m sure the good doctor can do something, can’t you Dr. von Pferd?”
“Oh, ja! Easy-peasy. Is psychosomatisch, this itching. Kommen ze here.”
When Chrysalis did the doctor leaned forward and stared her in the eyes. She leaned backward with a look of distaste.
“Nein. Stare into meine eyes, fräulein. Stare deep. Do not look away,” the doctor’s voice turned stern. Reluctantly Chysalis complied.
“What now?” She asked. The unicorn leaned forward and kissed her, hard. There was a loud snap and suddenly the unicorn was gone, and Discord stood in his place.
Chysalis looked at him in growing horror. He grinned.
“Got you, Chryssy. Now be a good girl and turn back into a flutterpony for Uncle Discord.”
Her body began to glow, covered in a surging chaotic rainbow, the colors chasing themselves over her body without rhyme or reason. As the glow brightened Chrysalis collapsed.
And began to scream.