//------------------------------// // Twilight Sparkle and Pinkie Pie // Story: The Mailbox Compilation // by Skeeter The Lurker //------------------------------// June 23rd clandestinely written under the table at a formal dinner From the desk of Twilight Sparkle, student of Princess Celestia Princess of Magic I really need new letterhead. Dear Pinkie Pie, You have to help me! How can a ‘party’ be so boring!? Sorry, let me back up a little. The longer it takes me to write this letter, the less I have to hear about how nice it is to meet me. At least I was learning something when they were talking about architecture in a society with very few unicorns. So I’ve been in Stalliongrad for an evening and so far it’s just as bad as I thought it’d be. I met Mayor Hoofsome and his wife Charity. Both are upstanding ponies, if a tad more formal than I’m really used to. As I’m writing that, I feel ridiculous, surrounded by three princesses. I just know Princess Celestia, Princess Luna, and Cadence. They’re like family, so I guess I get to see them in ways not a lot of other ponies get to see. This is just a learning experience; I know that, I’m sure I’ll get used to it. I’d much rather be reading right now than hearing about how a fourth princess will be a ‘boon on Equestrian society,’ and how Mayor Hoofsome is ‘sure he’ll see a rise in ore production of 32%’ as a result. The worst part of that is I’m dying to do the math on those statistics, but I don’t have the necessary figures! This party is less of a party and more of a mental root canal. I’d kill for a real party, a Pinkie Party right about now. Well, maybe kill is too strong a word, but I’d fill out paperwork in triplicate to requisition one. And now I’m daydreaming about paperwork. UGH. You’re always able to find fun in pretty much anything, Pinkie. Maybe you have some advice on making the best out of this situation. I’d love to hear from you; I’ve been gone for just a couple weeks and I already miss you all terribly. -Twilight Sparkle June 26, 2013 Hiya, Twilight! Oooh, a bad party, huh? Maybe you're at a gala and not a party. When we all went to the Grand Galloping Gala, boy did I learn there was a difference. But you’re in luck, because Professor Pinkie has a Ph.D in Fun Studies! In fact, the ‘P’ in Ph.D stands for ‘fun’. Wait, that’s not right. Ummm… ‘phun’! That’s better! If you wanna party right, then just follow these steps: P – Personality! Find out what those ponies like and bring them together. A – Are you playing games? Games rev up the fun! R – Remember the refreshments. Guests that are full are full of fun and laughter, too! T – Take the lead! The party starts with you! Kick out the jams and boogie! Tell some jokes! Get those ponies into a good mood! Y- You can make a difference – Even if it’s not your party, you can be the party. Put on a smile and jump right in! Your party will probably be over before you get this, but just in case, I’m enclosing two sock puppets. You’re already under the table, so just slip them on, raise up those hooves, and bring the funny! If sock puppets don’t sock it to 'em, then nothing will! And what are you talking about, Twi?! You totally have the figure to do math! You’re slim, trim, and fit as a fiddle! Most of the accountants I’ve seen are a little pudgy, so I don’t know what you’re worried about. So, guess what! I’m in Canterberry at the Canterberry Streamer Company’s public tour. We’re taking a little break right now. The guide said that we had some ‘excessive bounciness’ in the group and that we were getting a little over-stimulated. I didn’t see any of that, though! I was too busy running to the different rooms and checking out the new merchandise! Twilight, they’ve got everything here! Streamers that stream more to one side, in case it’s windy outside. Soft streamers that you can weave into a blanket if ponies are staying over! These ponies thought of everything! My mouth is watering just thinking about all of the party potential here. Seriously, it is. You can eat some of these streamers! Oops, I better get back to this tour. I just noticed that the guide is getting the other ponies and leading them out, but he’s being really quiet about it. Maybe some of these streamers are noise activated! Anyway, I hope you get out from under that table, or at least put on a good puppet show! With laughter (and complimentary streamers), Pinkie Pie June 28th From Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Magic, attempting a new sending spell to mimic dragonfire. Dear Pinkie Pie, I love these sock puppets. You made them look like Smarty Pants on purpose, didn’t you? I read your letter, opened the package, and I know the silliest looking smile spread across my face (I know because Shining laughed at me until Cadence jabbed him in the side). I just wanted to snuggle them, they’re so cute. Oh, I feel like a filly again. Thank you so much, Pinkie. It was too late for that party, but I’ll try my best to follow your ‘PARTY’ acronym. I’ll probably have to be a bit more subtle, and I can’t do anything about the food particularly, but hopefully I can steer some of these dinners into something less boring. I’ve never been to Canterberry, I hope it’s as lovely as all the stories say. I look forward to seeing some of those streamers in action when we all get home again; I really do want a Pinkie Party so bad right now. Even if it means there will be cake. It’s been less than a week and I’m already sick to death of cake. And that wasn’t the type of figure I meant. I meant…um…nevermind. Thank you anyway; I try to watch what I eat. When I’m not having cake after cake shoved down my muzzle, anyway. Seriously, I love cake, I do, but I’ve had so much of it! The last few days haven’t been as bad as the first couple. I think I’m getting used to this, even if it still makes me feel uncomfortable and bored sometimes. We had some more meetings with Very Important Ponies, and although some of them are kinda stuff, a lot of them are nice. Haven’t had a chance to make any new friends, but most of them are still good at heart and they care about this city. Hopefully things will continue to get better, even if I’m missing you girls more and more at the same time. I’m leaving for Manehattan in a few days. I’m not sure the exact places we’re going, or what order, but hopefully one of these trips we cross paths. I’d love to see your smile sometime this summer. You have the best smile. -Twilight Sparkle PS I ran into some trouble with my spell and had to resend this. Hopefully you’re still in Canterberry, or it’s going to have some trouble finding you. It would be funny if you’re already in Manehattan and I run into you before you even get this letter. Knowing you, I wouldn’t be surprised if that really happens. …I think I’m expecting it now. Which means I probably won’t run into you, since I’m expecting it. But now I think it won’t happen and—AUGH -Twilight Sparkle (July 1st) July 22nd, 2013 Dear Twilight, Sorry if this letter is kinda messy. I've been sliding in the mud with river otters. Oh, and exposing crooks, too! Princess Celestia was there and we were all super muddy at the end! It was a blast, but it seems like every time I look, I find another streak of mud. Otters must have really good soap. So, Mrs. Cake had this huge stack of letters in her room that she forgot to give me, so I just got yours. I knew you’d recognize Smarty Pants’ cousins! I called them Clip and Clop, though Mrs. Cake made a weird face when I showed Clop to her. Dunno why. And you’re tired of cake?! What are you, crazy? Maybe they just have bad cake there. Is that possible? Can you have bad cake? Well, if you really can’t eat any more, maybe you could use my Hoof and Poof Brussels Sprout Strategy! You see, I love to eat, but I just can’t stand Brussels sprouts. Remember when we found out that Apple Bloom hadn’t washed her quilt for, like, ever? Remember how it smelled? Just thinking about Applejack’s face when she pulled that blanket off the bed makes me crack up! Anyway, that’s how Brussels sprouts smell to me. Like sour, sweaty, stinky quilting! Problem is, sometimes ponies serve Brussels sprouts before dessert! Then you're stuck with a bunch of stinky sprouts before you can have any yummy pie! That’s why I came up with my strategy! Those sprouts aren’t keeping me from ice cream! Anyway, here’s how it goes. First, put a napkin on the floor under the table. Then, when you’re eating, stick a sprout with your fork and bring it right up to your mouth. Use your other hoof to cover both the sprout and your mouth, like you are trying to make sure you’re not chewing with your mouth open. Make a really chewy motion with your mouth, while secretly pulling the sprout off with your hoof. Maybe make some 'yum' noises, too. Then, drop the sprout onto the floor and repeat. It should work for cake, too, but don’t waste it! If you don’t want it, mail it to me! Twilight, I guess I spend so much time having fun with my friends that sometimes I forget that being alone can be fun, too. I've got this ginormous stack of letters, and I love reading them, but they make me miss you guys a lot. I was laying here in this meadow, looking up at the sky, and wishing everyone would come back to Ponyville. All of a sudden, this cloud came by that looked just like Applejack! And then one blew over that looked like Mr. Waddle’s tie, and another that looked like Philomena! Soon, I was playing Guess The Cloud and cracking up over the silly shapes they’d change into. That made me start rolling around back and forth, laughing, and then I was just rolling around to get dizzy. I’d get up and try to walk in a straight line, but then I’d fall over and start laughing again, which made me roll around some more! Where was I going with this… Oh, yeah! I forgot that being alone can sometimes be fun, too! It’s not like hanging out with your friends, but when you laugh, others laugh with you, even if it’s just a sky full of clouds. So, now my sides kinda hurt from falling over so much, and my cheeks hurt from all the giggling, but I’m really happy. I’ve slid with otters and the Princess, foiled an evil land grab, and laughed at the clouds, but my favorite thing is that I have all these letters from my friends! Every time I get one, it’s almost like you’re here with me, and nothing is better than being with my girls! Okay, I gotta write to Applejack, but write me back and tell me everything about Manehattan! Oh, doesn't Donut Joe have a shop there? If the ponies there are being too stuffy, just take them down for one of his lemon filled donuts! Nopony can resist that! With laughter (and crampy cheeks), Pinkie Pie August 3rd From Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Magic Dear Pinkie Pie, Their names are Clip and Clop? That’s so adorable! Oh, I love them both so much; they’ve been little bits of Ponyville I can take with me everywhere, even if I can’t play with them at any of the meetings I have to attend. I’ve managed to sneak them with me sometimes, though. Just knowing they’re there is enough to bring a silly smile to my face. As hard as leaving everypony behind for the summer has been, I keep finding these special little things that remind me of you girls, and when I think of them I get a little less homesick. Or, at least, that’s how things are now. I had a rough and confusing couple of weeks just recently. I’d tell you about Manehattan, but I was panicking so badly I’m afraid I don’t remember much of it. A few formal dinners I had to sit through and some tours I can’t really remember. I did go to the Donut Joe’s while I was there, but I just had coffee. I really have had too much cake, and yes there is such a thing (for me, anyway, although I don’t know how you never get tired of it). That was one of the few hours I really had to myself while I was there, because everypony was worried about me and I always had them around to make sure I didn’t go crazy crazier. That’s all over now, though. I had to take a short vacation from my vacation and go see Applejack and Rainbow Dash. We all met in Las Pegasus, because…well, because we made a big mess together and needed to fix it. So we fixed it, and now I can’t help but smile when I read over everypony’s letters again and again, or play this record Rainbow sent me, or play with Clip and Clop. When you’re reading this letter, I want you to picture me at my happiest. That’s how I look right now, regardless of how busy and bored I’ve been here in Neighagra Falls (ribbon cutting ceremonies are worse than they sound…actually, I don’t know how they sound to you; you’re a huge fan of ribbon and streamers…Okay, ribbon cutting ceremonies are as boring as the Grand Galloping Gala), I just can’t stop smiling. Tell me about the places you’ve been, Pinkie. I tried to get the muddy otter story out of Princess Celestia, but she’s not budging on it. That, or she turns around and asks me things about Las Pegasus I’d have trouble telling to somepony who wasn’t like a second mom to me as a filly. I miss everyone terribly still, but it’s different now; I can’t wait for this big Pinkie Party when we all get home. I’m just full of optimism about all of it. It’s like… Pinkie, this might be bringing up something sad for you, but I’m not sure and I can’t stop thinking about it. After Starswirl’s spell scrambled everypony’s cutie marks, you were the last pony we got to when we were fixing it. Whenever I gave everypony their elements back, I could see a rush of memories pass over their eyes, but it was a little different for you. Everypony else had found a little bit of who they really are before they got their necklaces, so it wasn’t a huge surprise for them when their memories returned. You…it happened all at once, and I saw it in your eyes. I saw your memories and your smile, your huge and wonderful smile that can break through to anypony and everypony, reappear at the same time. I remember feeling at that moment, when you became yourself again, that everything was going to be okay again. I feel that way right now. That’s what it’s like, only all the time. Hope to hear from you soon, I miss you. -Twilight Sparkle Aug. 14th Hiya, Twilight! You’ve been sneaking in Clip and Clop? Twilight, that’s what I do, too! You just never know when sock puppets are gonna to come in handy. They’re an all-purpose ingredient for hilariosity! I don’t know what I woulda done without my sock puppet during that boring hot air balloon safety training class the mayor forced me to take before the Running of the Leaves. That stallion went on and on about a bunch of stuff forever! I probably would have just gone to sleep but I had Mr. Cheeperth with me! He’s my sock puppet canary who sings with a lisp! Halfway through the class, that teacher said Mr. Cheeperth and I had to give a concert out in the hallway! Speaking of concerts, sorry that this letter kinda messy. I’m in Appleoosa, and boy, has this place grown! Big enough to attract some real stars to that club we helped build! Twilight, guess who’s here? Radioherd! You know how much I love those guys! Well, I guess I love them… I still haven’t figured out what any of those lyrics mean. But anyway, what I’m trying to say is that it’s kinda hard to write a letter with all these ponies getting down and bumping into me all the time, but I was sorta hoping that some of the good vibes from here would get stuck in the envelope, you know, ‘cause you’ve been sad. I’ve been jumping around and waving these pages all over the place to try and get booty-shaking goodness into the envelope as possible. So you made a big mess, huh? Oh, I know what it’s like to make a big mess out of something! I make a big mess out of Sugarcube Corner’s kitchen about three times a week. Then Mr. Cake turns purple and I have to clean it all up. Mopping usually not much fun, but I had Rarity make up these terry cloth booties and now I just skate around in the kitchen. It’s like ice skating, but with a fresh lemon scent! I don’t get something about your letter, though. If you and Applejack and Rainbow weren’t together, then how did you make the big mess in Las Pegasus that you all had to fix? Wouldn’t you have to be together to make the mess first? I know Rainbow flies into stuff sometimes, but did she hit something really big, and then you guys all had to get together and build a building all up from scratch will a bunch of angry ponies all stood around tapping their hooves? Because if you did, I’ll bet it’s the bestest building they have now! You were probably the designer and you walked around with one of those bendy ruler things that doesn’t come back to you when you throw it. I tried to tell Ten Penny that if it looks like a boomerang that it should come back like a boomerang when he stopped by Sugarcube Corner before work, but he just took his bag of donuts and left. Oops, I guess holding up my lighter wasn’t such a hot idea. Hee-hee! Get it? ‘Hot!’ Anyway, I guess Applejack would’ve built it 'cause she’s good at that stuff. She was probably way up high on one of those extendy ladders and when she needed stuff, you just tied it to your boomerang ruler and threw it up to her. You’re the smartest smarty that ever smarted, so you must have discovered how to get that ruler to work by now. Oh, and then Rainbow probably flew all over the place once it was finished, making those raaaaaaawwwwmmm fast noises she makes and showering the whole building in coolness so that everypony would come and see it. I’ll bet those grumpy Las Pegasus ponies loved you guys after that! Twilight, that sounds totally fun!!! Why didn’t you invite me?! I wanna build a great, big building with all kinds of games in it! Oh, but I do understand what you mean about the ribbon cutting ceremonies. Ponies get all touchy at those. Sweetie Belle and I had a great time with one in Rarity’s supply room when she was making those booties for me. Well, we had a good time until Rarity came in to get some thread. She took one look at us and started yelling! I guess those ribbons were special or something, but honestly, they just looked like regular old super-shiny, gem-encrusted, golden-threaded ribbons to me. Maybe she just felt left out because we started without her. Oops, sorry about that. Some pony just spilled his cider on me. I don’t really mind, but I’m getting some weird looks now. I guess nopony else here is sucking on their mane, but why let good cider go to waste?! Ohohoh! They’re playing Mare Mare! Okay, I got knocked over, and things are getting sorta trample-y, so I might have to tell you about Celestia and the otters when I get back to Ponyville again. Before I go, though, you asked about what it was like to get my cutie mark back. Twilight, did you ever get a present that you really, really wanted? That day was like that but a zillion times better! I was so sad. Nothing was going right on the farm and I just couldn’t figure out why. Then it was like ZAM! and it all made sense again! I wasn’t happy because I wasn’t making anypony else happy, and that’s what I love to do the most! But right now, all I think I’m doing is making the janitors happy. I've got all this of gum stuck to my tummy and I'm covered in wet ticket stubs. I’d better wrap this up and find a shower! Or at least an all-night dessert shop. With laughter (and hoofmarks on my back), Pinkie Pie August 23rd From Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Magic Dear Pinkie Pie, Your letters always make me smile. I’ve been so hectic these past few weeks I haven’t had a chance to write to anypony, and I had to read your letter again first, and it made me smile again. I can’t wait to see you again and hear about the otters. When I said the three of us made a mess, it was kind of like spilling stuff all over a kitchen, only instead of a kitchen it was each other, and instead of flour, milk, and eggs, it was our emotions. Okay, that’s really not like a kitchen mess. It was a metaphorical mess, but one we cleaned up by talking to each other, so our words were like those booties, and the lemon scent was the three of us figuring out what we wanted, and—augh, I’m going cross-eyed. All that’s really important about it is that we did clean up the mess. It’s maybe caused some new, little messes, but…well, that’s part of baking, isn’t it? If you’re going to make cupcakes, you’re going to have to make a little bit of a mess. Just think of it like that, only I’m talking about emotions. Okay, I don’t understand me right now, either. Anyway, I hope you’re having a great time wherever you are now. I can’t wait to see everypony again, and the summer’s end just gets closer and closer. Maybe I’ll have cleaned up the mess in my own head by then. … Ignore that last part, Pinkie. I’m in an odd mood today and I just need to distract myself. I thought writing letters would help, and it has a little, but I keep thinking around in circles. I think I’ll try to work on something I’ve been delaying for a while. Hope those hoofmarks on your back washed off! Boogie a little extra hard for me next time. -Twilight Sparkle Sept. 2nd Dear Princess Sparkle! I don’t know if you know this, Twilight, but I’m still jumping up and down and squealing a lot that Equestria finally has a princess of sparkliness! Celestia can raise the sun, Luna can control the moon, and you can make the sky all pretty by making sparklerific snowflakes and super-twinkly stars! You should make a royal decree and tell everypony that from this day forth, the day is to be known as Twilight-Sparkle’s-No-Snarkle-Up-Past-Darkle-Having-A-Larkle-In-The-Parkle-Super-Summer-Holiday-Day where everything has to be all shiny and sparkletastic! We could have all wear special hats with sparkles stuck all over them and eat lots of crystallized sugar rock candy and sequins! Well, maybe not the sequins. I ate a bunch of Rarity’s one time and she got sort of mad at me. And they gave me a tummy ache. Sometimes what’s yummy for your eyes isn’t yummy for your tummy. On the other hoof, going to the bathroom was a little more fun for a while. Ohhhhhh! I get it now! You made a Heart Mess. Do you remember when I made a Heart Mess on my birthday when I thought you girls didn’t like me anymore? My heart felt all sad and deflated like a three day old balloon. But you girls are my best friends, and in the end, we were really just trying to make each other smile, but we just missed a little bit. Sometimes I still miss a little bit, but I always keep trying! Like, yesterday, I tried to pounce-hug Roseluck, but I missed and ended up hugging her box hedge. She helped to pull me out, and then I got to hug her all I wanted to. So that’s what I think. If you miss when you try to tell your friends you love them, you just gotta pull yourself out of that hedge, spit those yucky leaves and spiders out of your mouth, and give that hug your all! So, I’m back here in Ponyville, and I think I’m going to stay. This summer has been all hikey and wandery and backandforthandallovertheplacey but I’ve gotten all the stuff I needed to get for my secret mission! And I’m kind of out of bits for the train. Speaking of bits, the Cake’s have done really well lately! They bought a bunch of new mixers and spoons and stuff! They said that they’d had fewer inventory shortages this summer. I promised to keep a close eye on things from here on out! I don’t know who’s swiping stuff around here, but I told the Cakes that I was going to sit in the kitchen with all those succulent, glistening, sugary-sweet, completely irresistible, totally delicious cakes and pies until I found out. Mr. Cake just rubbed his head and said he needed some aspirin. That stallion goes through more bottles of that stuff… And, Twilight, I dunno if he’s writing to you, but I think Spike’s ready for you to come home. I poked my head in the library and everything was reeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaallllllyyyyyyy clean in there. I tried to just hang out for a bit, but he kept making me take books off the shelves and throw them all over the place while he picked them up, and that was fun, but he started acting all funny when I started throwing paper all over the place. Something about mixing up “the siss” papers or something. I think he’s kinda losing it, Twilight. When I left, he was dusting Owlowiscious and I think your owl was getting a little tired of it. I should go. It’s about time for my first round of kitchen guard duty, but please come home soon! We gotta plan that holiday out! With laughter (and twelve crates of sparklers) Pinkie Pie