//------------------------------// // Applejack and Pinkie Pie // Story: The Mailbox Compilation // by Skeeter The Lurker //------------------------------// Dear Applejack, Howdy, partner! I hope you are having a fantexcellent time with the Oranges. I was thinking about growing oranges, and I’m no farmer, but what I came up with a little while ago might be revolutionary! I think you guys should all dress up as big oranges while you are working. You know, to give the oranges some good role-models. I’ve been trying to think up a good orange song that you could sing, but the only word I know that rhymes with orange is sporange, and I thought maybe you would want to avoid songs with fungus in them. Speaking of oranges, I hiked all the way over to Detrot to enter into the Maremalade Beauty Pageant. The grand prize was a case of what bakers consider to be the pinnacle of scone toppings: Adelaide’s Top-grade Homemade Marmalade! Trust me, it’s the yummiest, and it’s made with oranges and a few other fruits. So I get there and it was so amazing! All of these pretty mares getting all dolled up. Rarity would have loved it. I didn’t bring any clothes or make-up, but they had a talent portion of the show. I just figured I’d wow the judges then. We all go out on stage, and everyone is just kind of looking at me. I figured that was a really great sign! No one could take their eyes off me even though I was still kinda dusty from running all the way there! Some of them were even snickering. I was on a roll! Then they sent us backstage and made us come out one by one. I don’t really see the point in all of that. I mean, we were already out on stage. Why leave and come back? Anyway, they start asking about lives and hobbies and stuff. Boy, these ponies have some amazing lives! Some of them work at animal shelters or at food banks. Some of them run successful businesses. When I came out, they asked what I did, and I told them my main job is to bake delicious treats and save Equestria from certain doom every few months. But not with the treats. I made that clear. You know, I don’t think they believed me! One of the judges choked on his water and they pounded him on the back while telling me I could go! I was feeling a little let down, but I knew I could still win them over in the talent portion. These mares were pretty, but they were doing boring stuff, like poetry readings and hoofstands. I knew I had to make a lasting impression, so I came out and played them a selection of standards with my tuba. I made sure to blow EXTRA LOUD so they would really feel my passion. They ended up stopping me halfway through and told me I had won a ‘special prize’ and that I needed to go pick it up immediately. CAN YOU BELIEVE IT, AJ?! I WON A BEAUTY PAGEANT!!! A security guard led me to the back door and handed me a jar of marmalade. Then he took my ticket and told me not to come back in. Weird, huh? But it looks like I made the right decision! I almost brought the gala dress Rarity made for me, but who has room for fancy clothes when you are packing a tuba! With laughter (and marmalade), Pinkie Pie Dear Pinkie Pie, I’m glad you’re having a good time! What are you doing in Detrot, anyway? I thought you were back in Ponyville... Well, never mind, that sure sounds exciting. And even all the way across Equestria, you still put a smile on my face. I sure needed that, sugarcube. But, I don’t think dressing up as oranges is really going to help the oranges grow. See, trees need a lot of things, but they don’t really need role models. But I appreciate all that helping you’re trying to do, and I’m sure if you come up with a song you’ll let me know it right away. While I’m writing to you, you wouldn’t have any tips on dealing with gators, would you? Not little ones like Gummy, but great big ones that wanna eat a pony. I wrote to Fluttershy about it too, but sometimes you got real good ideas. You know, I should have thought of that sooner. You’re a pretty smart pony, when I can figure what you’re saying. There’s a pony I’m having a bit of trouble with, me and him ain’t really getting along. I reckon you’d never have that problem, you’d just be cheerful and nice to a pony until you’re friends, right? Well, I guess I wasn’t all that cheerful and nice to the pony today. He’s the pony I’m supposed to be training to take over this farm, his name’s OJ, and I’m gonna have to teach him to farm right, whether he wants to learn or not. Today he sure didn’t seem to want to learn, just getting him to prune some trees was like pulling teeth. I know you ain’t much on farming, but this pony seems to think he can run a farm without lifting a hoof. But maybe if I take a page from your book, and get him to be friends with me, it’ll make this whole thing easier! I sure am glad you wrote me, sugarcube. And good luck with... whatever it is you’re doing. I’m sure it’s really something. Your friend, Applejack PS: I guess I’ll just send this to Sugarcube Corner. I hope the Cakes know how to get it to you. June 25, 2013 Dear Applejack, Hi! Good thing you sent your letter to Sugarcube Corner! I’ve just been tying letters to balloons, but I can see where Sugarcube Corner would work out better if you don’t have a helium tank with you. I wrote Dashie a letter yesterday, too. If she writes back, I hope she’ll send it here. Do you think she will? Remember when she was off at the Wonderbolts Academy, and she didn’t write back for, well, at all? Now I’m worried… But you wrote me back, and that’s why we’re best friends! It's lucky for us both that I came back to Ponyville to drop off that marmalade. Oh, and the tuba. Let me tell you, you get the strangest looks on the Ponyville Express when you’re packing a tuba. Also, don’t try to play the tuba on the train. Those ticket collectors don’t care for polka at all. However, Gummi loves polka! That’s one of my suggestions for your alligators. Use some musical wiles on those reptiles! Sometimes, if Gummi is feeling a little snappy, I crank up one of his favorite polka albums and he grooves all those bad feelings away on the dance floor! Now, if your gators don't wanna shake their scales, then I’d go for taffy. It’s pretty sticky. That’ll keep them busy long enough for your workers to do… whatever it is they are doing. Something that doesn’t involve orange costumes. Actually, do the alligators eat the oranges? If they don’t, then maybe you can use the costumes after all! I’ll throw something together and try to send it. Rarity’s gone, but Sweetie Belle said she knew of a good place to get some fabic if I bring her some cinnamon rolls. What material do you think really brings out the orange of oranges? Taffeta? Okay, back to the alligators. If they are really insistent about biting ponies, just make a couple of pony sculptures out of the taffy. It’s the best of both worlds! I’m sorry that you are having issues with somepony on the farm. Some ponies (like Cranky) just take a little while to come around, but just do your best to be a friend and they'll warm up for sure! I mean, who doesn’t love Applejack? Well, okay, Flim and Flam, maybe, but besides them, nopony! That reminds me, I think they stopped by Sweet Apple Acres today. I saw Big Mac chasing them out of town. He sure did look angry! Oh, and Fluttershy’s cottage is floating around, but I think the Mayor sent Derpy and Cloudchaser over to check on that. Oh, one thing about your letter: Why are you putting prunes in the trees? Is it a trade for the oranges? While everypony’s been gone, I’ve been all over Equestria gathering… things. It’s for a secret project! I tried to set the right mood by wearing my spy suit and goggles, but I took them off when the police detained me. They said that I was ‘conspicuous’ and a ‘pony of interest’. Isn’t that funny, AJ? I’m so interesting that they had to fill out this loooooong report. The police asked me questions for a long time, but finally told me I could go. They passed a bottle of aspirin around and said they were convinced I didn’t have what it took to mastermind a plot. That’s for sure. I'm not really that plot-y. I almost missed my train, though, so I decided that maybe the suit wasn’t such a good plan. I'm not that plan-y, either. By the way, do you have any idea what ‘conspicuous even means? I’m going to Canterberry in a bit, but keep sending letters to Ponyville! I’ll be back again before you know it. With laughter (and some cinnamon rolls), Pinkie Pie June 27th Dear Pinkie Pie, Don’t you worry about Dash. I’m sure you’ll hear back any day now. Thanks for the idea about the polka. I don’t really know much polka, though... you think bluegrass would work? I could probably rustle up a fiddle, if you’re sure about that. But I ain’t too sure about dressing up as oranges. I don’t think gators eat oranges, but I’m also pretty darn sure that oranges don’t grow to be pony sized, so I ain’t sure it would fool them. The taffy ponies is... an idea. And I sure will keep that in mind. Now, what was all that going on in Ponyville, with Flim and Flam and Fluttershy’s cottage floating away? Do I need to get back there? And what’s this secret project? Why are you taking trains all over? Pinkie, do you need a pony to help you out? I’m getting a tad nervous, sugarcube. I dunno if it’s for you or Equestria, but... don’t get in too much trouble, okay? As for OJ, he is kinda like Cranky, but he’s our age, and I ain’t quite as... hard core friendly as you are. I’d have thought he’d open up a bit now, but still no luck. I might have to think of something else. I know it might surprise you, Pinkie, but some ponies can only stay cheerful for so long when another pony keeps rolling his eyes. Maybe if you were here, you could keep it up for me. You know, there’s a lot of things that make me wish you were here (being there to help you is only one of them.) I was walking through town to go to the beach, and I spotted a bakery, so I stopped in. But it was all... serious! All the treats were laid out one at a time on a frilly napkin, like Rarity got a hold of the place. That’s no way to run a bakery, bakeries oughta be fun and a little silly. Taking cupcake serious ain’t gonna make them good for you, and taking a bakery serious isn’t gonna make cupcakes serious. That’s the way I see it, anyhow. Now I’m hungry. I think I oughta bake something this weekend. You got any good recipies for oranges? I’m thinking a cake, but I bet you can come up with something fun. Have fun in Canterberry, and try not to make friends too hard, sugarcube. Especially with guards. Please write me if you need help. Your friend, Applejack June 29, 2013 Hi Applejack! Oh, I wouldn’t worry about Ponyville any. They were roping up Fluttershy’s cottage when I was leaving. They hitched it up to that Snowflake guy, and last I saw he was pulling it back over to Fluttershy’s meadow. If it’s still floating when I get back, I’m going to ask Fluttershy if we can take rides in it. Oh, and Big Mac was moving too fast for me to ask any questions. I was just having lunch and then woosh, there went Flim and Flam! Then Big Mac (zoom!) came charging after them, and boy was he mad! Whatever it was, Flim and Flam probably won’t be back anytime soon. Big Mac looked pretty scary. Remember that time the girls tried to get their cutie marks by spelunking in the well and they broke the winch? Yeah, that mad. I was thinking about your orange farm, and of OJ, when I leaving the streamer factory, and it hit me! New ponies are a lot like oranges. First, you see them from far away, and they look so inviting! They’re so colorifically orange and they smell good so good that you kinda drool a little bit. Okay, maybe the pony isn’t orange and maybe he don’t actually smell good, but you know what I mean. Actually, maybe don’t actually smell ponies you don’t know. Trust me, a lot of ponies don’t like that much. Anyway, meeting the new pony is like peeling into an orange. You just never know what it’s gonna be like! Sometimes, you dig in and the fruit is so yummy! Other times, it squirts you in the eye. Sometimes there’s too much pith and it’s all bitter. But under all that pith, there’s something sweet just waiting to be uncovered! If I’m having a little trouble making a new friend, I like to sing this too myself. I wrote it back when Berry Bunches came to Ponyville to visit Golden Harvest. She was kinda sulky for a pony that makes jam for a living, but she did eventually warm up, didn't she? Twilight says it’s because we broke that spell she was under, but I still think the song had something to do with it. Unfortunately, I can’t really send the tune with it, but that won’t be any problem for you. I know you get all blushy and bashful when we say you’re a great singer, but it’s true! You’ll have the right tune for this in a jiffy, and you guys will be great friends in no time! I suggest singing it by the trees so you can look at the oranges, just in case the lyrics are too subtle. You never know, How some fruits grow, If you don’t take time to explore! They might be grand. They might be bland. They might be rotten to the core! (You gotta speak these two lines.) Well, you took a bite, And it’s not quite right… But the sour fruit, Only takes root, Because their seed’s been growing wrong. They need sunlight, To grow up right! So bring it with this Growing Song! Oh, I sing of spring, And friends and things, Of love and laughter, And morning dew! For the smiles they bring, Mean everything. And maybe after, We’ll start anew! Sometimes it works, Sometimes it won’t, But you won’t know unless you try. Some fruit is sweet, When first you meet, Others will make a better pie! (You gotta speak this part, too!) But they’re sour as lime, So why spend the time? Some fruits have had, It kinda bad. They might just need a little love! So help them grow, And let them know, That they are who you’re thinking of! Oh, I sing of spring, And friends and things, Of love and laughter, And morning dew! For the smile they bring, Mean everything. And maybe after, We’ll start anew! With laughter (and a craving for oranges), Pinkie Pie July 2nd Dear Pinkie, How do you do it, sugarcube? You’re some kind of magic, you know that? I been working on the farm the past week, and not much changed. OJ was just as grumpy, I was just as cheerful... I was at the end of my rope. So I was looking for anything to try, and I remembered your letter. So I went out to the orange grove and sang your song. I gotta say, it felt a bit silly at first, but by the time I got to the first chorus I was real into it. Seems somepony left a ladder by a tree, and a wagon piled high in the grove, and I reckon I ought have a talk about leaving out tools and stuff, but it was great for moving around and singing on! So, round the time I was at the second speaking part, I look up, and who’s sitting there but old Toothy? Just looking at me real soulful and waggin’ his tail in time with the music. Well, I an’t stop a music number to deal with a gator, right? So I kept on singing, and looking at him, and I guess he thought I was singing at him, and I guess he thought I needed a friend, ‘cause soon as the song was over he found an orange, and used his snout to roll it to me. I didn’t know what to do, so I kicked it back at him. Then he rolled it back, and I had to laugh. Me and old Toothy spent a few minutes just rolling this orange back and forth, and when I had to go because I heard one of the farmhooves calling me, As I walked by, I gave Toothy a pat on the head, like I would with Winona, and he wagged his tail, and he didn’t bite my hoof off! So, that song really made me feel better, and I did make a new friend, of a sort. I’m gonna go buy a ball, so me and Toothy can play a little bit later. I also had a great idea for dealing with OJ. The pony’s got a cutie mark that’s a half an orange. So, it just makes sense that he’s gotta like something to do with oranges, right? I’m just gonna have to find out how he got his cutie mark, and then maybe I can use that to show him how much fun farming can be! Wish me luck. You never did mention where you’re going next, but I hope it’s someplace fun. And remember, I owe you one for the song. I wish I knew how it works, but doggonit, it works every time! I’m awful lucky to have you for a friend, Pinkie. Lemme know if you’re in Palomino Beach, you and me and Toothy can roll a ball around. Your friend, Applejack July 22nd, 2013 Dear Applejack, Most ponies don’t know this, but alligators just can’t resist a great song! When they're acting up, you gotta get them to get down! Sometimes, when Gummy wants to play but I’ve got to clean up Sugarcube Corner’s kitchen, I just throw on his favorite record. Then, we both groove our troubles away on that scootariffic tile they have in there! My troubles usually come back pretty soon when Mr. Cake finds out I’ve been dancing instead of cleaning, but Gummy loves it! Oh, but I’m so excited that the song worked for you! I know Dashie always makes those barfy noises when I start singing, but I think nothing gets ponies in a good mood like a good song! Looks like Toothy was just lonely all this time. Maybe OJ’s been alone, too, so he’s not very good around ponies. You should try and get them together. Maybe they both just need a little companionship! And way to go with the ladder and the wagon! When it’s time to really belt out that song, you gotta go the extra mile! Props! Costumes! Small green and purple dragon working a mixing board while a lavender unicorn grumpily holds a boom mic over you! It’s the extras that really sell it. When we all get back together, we should totally write and perform a musical for Ponyville! We can make it a comedy and call it Orange Peals of Laughter! As for me, I’m on my way to Salt Lick City to visit Confection Perfections! They’re that experimental candy maker that invents all kinds of new and interesting ways to tickle your taste buds! Remember those candies that looked and smelled just like hay but tasted like toffee? Remember when Big Mac got mad at me for stocking your barn with it? I still think those sheep would have liked it better, but anyway, Confection Perfections came up with that. I wrote them a while back and they said I could come and check out their lab! AJ, I’m going to an experimental candy factory! I’ve been squealing since last night! I meet more confused bats that way… I think when you wrote before, I was off to the Canterbury Streamer Factory. They’re the cutting edge in party technology, and their guided tour was a blast! Mostly because I accidentally set off a big room of streamers that you can shoot off like fireworks. The guide seemed kinda irritated with me after that, but seriously, who puts ‘WARNING! DO NOT ENTER! MULTICOLOR STREAMER EXPLOSIONS BEYOND THIS POINT!’ on a door and doesn't expect any peeking?! Sheesh! Right now, I’m taking a break in a field of wildflowers. My hooves are a little sore after helping some otters drive away this pony that was trying to steal their land. I’ll tell you the whole story when we get back together, but there was a lot of mud sliding involved. Even Princess Celestia slid down the hill a few times, which primed me up for a prank! Since we were all muddy, I wanted to see if I could fool the guards into thinking I was Celestia for a minute or two, but it’s weird. Mud just doesn’t stick to her. She’d go down the hill and the mud would just slide right off of her when she got up. Not me, though! I’m still finding muddy places on my flank! Too bad, though. I really wanted to give a royal decree! Oh, and I wanted to say that I was thinking about OJ’s cutie mark, and maybe it’s got something to do with cooking! Growing’s not all you can do with oranges, you know. Maybe he’s got a special orange juice to whip up, or a totally scrummy marmalade just waiting to happen! Trade in that mulcher for a mixer for a couple of days! You never know until you try, right? Okay, I better move along. This bumblebee won’t leave my cupcake trail mix alone. I don’t mind sharing, but I’m afraid I’m going to accidentially bite it. I’d feel bad all day if I bit a bee. Probably mostly on my tongue. With laughter (and a persistent bee), Pinkie Pie P.S. Sorry this letter is a little late. Mrs. Cake had a big stack of them up in her room that she forgot to give me last time I came back to Ponyville. July 29th Dear Pinkie, I don’t know how you do it, sugarcube, but you were right again! OJ’s cutie mark is in cooking, and I’ve been meaning to share a kitchen with him for a few weeks and learn a bit about using oranges. But first I had to take a trip to Las Pegasus to visit Dash and Twilight, and since then I’ve had to be doing this fancy party thing with my Aunt and Uncle Orange. Fancy parties make me wish I was back at one of your parties. I hope you’re getting lots of ideas from these places you’re visiting. And I hope most of those ideas are safe... remember, sugarcube, buildings are made of wood and stuff, and the party’s over if you burn the house down. Though that’d probably be more fun than the parties I been at. Anyhow, I did have a bit of fun the other day, and it made me think of you. The Oranges were having one of those big fancy outside parties, and I was there looking all classy in a white dress, eating too-small food and talking to boring ponies. They had some ponies playing that music that puts you to sleep, and the pony I was talking to was going on about yachting or something, so I was ready for nap time. I could just feel my eyes closing when I felt something brush next to my hooves. I looked down, and there was Old Toothy, ready to join the party. I reckon he heard the music, and came on up to see what’d been going on. Well, that woke me right up. My eyes got real big ‘cause I was a bit worried. I knew Old Toothy wouldn’t hurt me, but I didn’t know if he might hurt these other folks, or if they might hurt them. Or most likely, if they saw him, the fancy ponies might hurt themselves trying to get away from him all at the same time. Lucky for them, I had an idea. I told the yacht-pony I had to go to the little fillies room, then I ducked behind a bush. I waited there ‘til a waiter passed on by, and grabbed his tray of little fish egg crackers (you know, you’d think really rich ponies would eat the best tasting food... you’d be wrong.) Then I looked around, and when nopony was looking, I tossed one in front of Old Toothy. He gobbled that right up, so I tossed another one, closer to where I was hiding. He ate that one, and I used those crackers to move him away from all those ponies, and out into the groves where the lake is. You better bet I gave him a good talking to when we got back there. Gators might like parties, but that ain’t the kind of party where they invite gators. Probably woulda been better if it was. Anyway, I gotta run, I got more folks to catch up with. Just remember what I told you on that tour of the palace: “Do Not” ain’t a pony misspelling “donut” when it’s in front of “Enter.” Really. I Pinkie promise. Your friend, Applejack August 12th, SURPRISE!!! There’s a bunch of confetti in the envelope, so just throw it in the air and start the letter over. Okay, I hope that worked. It’s a kinda tough to pounce-hug somepony through a letter, but maybe that was sorta like it. It’s like an eye pounce-hug! Is that what contacts are like? Like, are they always pounce-hugging your eyes? So, do ya miss me?! Doyadoyadoya?! I miss you girls like crazy right now. I’ve been all over the place doing the most fantabulous stuff, but, well, it’s sort of lonely without anypony to share it with. I was looking down at my train ticket yesterday and it said, 'Passengers: 1' on it. That made my lower lip all quivery and I had to eat some of my prescription butterscotch disks. Nurse Redheart gave me a big bag of them when I got that eyepatch, and she said I should have one if I’m ever feeling down, but I kinda think they’re good for just whenever! Why wait on candy?! Boring parties, huh? What’s with the ponies you girls hang with? Twilight’s been to a bunch of bad parties, too! Maybe there’s something going around. They’ve all got hay fever when they need dance fever! Until we went to the gala, I didn’t even think that bad parties were a real thing. I just thought ponies were being super-picky. Maybe you just need to kick fewer trees and kick out more jams! Not a lot of ponies know this, but parties are serious business! It’s not all fun and games having fun and games. You can’t just blow up a bunch of balloons or baking tons of yummarific stuff. The best parties are about getting together and having a great time, even when things don’t go right. Maybe the clown is late, or the birthday candles won't light, or the hostess drops the punchbowl and soaks everypony, which totally wasn’t even my fault that one time! Scootaloo started the Hokey Pokey and she said everyone had to put their left hoof in! AJ, it’s just a reflex now! Where was I going with this…? Oh, yeah! When a party isn’t fun, you gotta make it fun! Turn on some music! Get everypony playing a game! Even if it’s not your party, somepony’s gotta make those good times happen! Oh, believe me, I know ponies can get sorta stuffy about things, but they will usually go along with it in the end, and before you know it, they’re all having a blast! Deep down, everypony wants to have fun. You just gotta take the lead! But, I feel so sad for Toothy. He just wanted a little room on the dance floor to shake that tail! Maybe I can bring Gummy by and throw them both a big party! And you know what? I’ll bet all the other stuffy ponies will be there by the end! Oh! Ohohohoh!!! I’ve got to tell you about Confection Perfections! AJ, you’d love it there! They have this whole orchard growing in this great big room. It’s just like outside, but inside! They painted a sky on the ceiling, and they have a pegasus fly over with these bird puppets. They even have these big, fluffy cotton candy clouds hanging from the ceiling. Anyway, they grow apples there, too, but they’re candied apples! Acres and acres of them! I asked if they bucked them off like you do, but the guide said it didn’t work so well. Apparently, after the buck, the apples got stuck and they were outta luck! So now they hoof-pick them and carefully wrap each one before they stick them in those big ol’ baskets you won’t let me play with any more, even though make super-great turtle costumes! Apple Bloom and I used to take those things and have un-races to see who get to the finish line last. It’s not like we didn’t ask you to un-race, too! But, back to the trees! AJ, they wanted to hear all about Sweet Apple Acres and maybe trade you some seeds. They talked and talked about hybrid somethingorothers and showed me a family tree of their trees, but I got sorta lost when they got to cross-fertilization. I didn’t even see any crosses. Anyway, they’ve been thinking about growing some trees in the actual outside outside and wondered if you wanted to adopting some. They said you could keep the trees as long as they could come and check them out every once in a while. I told them I’d let you know, but AJ, I’m begging you! If you grow candy apples on your farm, I’ll help out at harvest for the rest of my life! Think of the candy apple cider! The candy apple pie! The candied candied apples! My heart's beating so fast just imagining it! That sounds like a medical emergency! I'll just pop a few of these butterscotch disks! Ah, sweet relief... I should wrap this up, I guess. I promised Pumpkin and Pound that we’d play Hide and Seek when I was done writing and they’ve been crawling all over me. I think this calls for a little discipline, tickle style! With laughter (and two giggling toddlers), Pinkie Pie August 23rd Dear Pinkie, Those candy apple trees sound right fascinating. I ain’t sure I ever heard of something like that, but if they wanted to write me when I get home I’d be willing to have a talk. I can’t say I don’t see a few problems that might come from growing something like that outside-- wouldn’t the rain wash the candy off and make the ground sticky? And I’m afraid those might be right temping to a lot of critters-- fruit bats, and insects, and pink ponies who live in town. I’m not sure it’d work out, but it could be worth a shot. Are all the folks doing okay back in town? I hear from Mac, of course, but getting news from him is like getting cider from a rock. And Apple Bloom writes a lot, so I know all about every way her and her friends tried to get their cutie marks (you know, I can’t even find a pony who knows what “parkour” is, let alone what a cutie mark in it would’ve looked like. I just hope Sweetie Belle’s bruises have healed by the time Rarity sees her.) But for all the other ponies in town, I ain’t got a clue. As for here, I been real busy cleaning up after a storm, but OJ used the fallen oranges to make up a whole batch of treats. They’re mighty fine, I gotta say. He’s been selling them at a stand, and that seems to have perked him right up, and it’s got him seeing the farm in a whole new light. I gotta say I’m relieved, I think by the time I got home this farm’ll be in good hooves. And I’ll be sure to bring you some of his orange ginger cookies, I think you’ll like them a lot. Anyway, you keep on doing whatever it is you’re doing. I’m sure I’ll find out all about it when I get back home. Your friend, Applejack Sept 1st Dear Applejack, Whew, I’m finally back! I heard that Fort Troterdale was a for real, non-stop party city, so I packed up to see if I could get a few pointers! You know, ‘cause they must be some sort of party extra-experts if the whole city’s nothing but a ginomous party. I figured they’d have fountains that shot punch out of them or beds made of cake so you could eat until you got super tired and then snuggle up in the icing and then it would just be right there when you wanted a midnight snack instead of sneaking downstairs into the kitchen and accidentally running into the pots and pans and waking everypony up! But they didn’t have any of that. They didn’t even have any balloons. AJ, I think some ponies are really mean to go around saying there’s a huge, super-funtexcellent city that’s a whole big party when there isn’t a party anywhere! There’s just a bunch of wobbly ponies that talk funny, drinking tackilla all the time and falling over! I looked all over the place, but there were no streamers, or presents, or games. Actually, they had some “games” but I couldn’t figure out the rules. They all seemed to be about wrestling in gelatin or standing around in wet shirts. I couldn’t even tell what the score was most of the time. But I did get these really funny hats with cup holders and flashing lights on them! They even have these LOOOOUUUUUUDDDD sirens you can turn on! I just know you guys are going to love them! I’m here in Ponyville again, and I think I’m done running around all over Equestria. I’ve got lots of stuff for my SeCrEt MiSsIoN! You’ve gotta say it like that, all spooky sounding because it’s mysterious! I did run into Big Mac walking with Cheerilee a little while ago, but he didn’t seem to want to talk. I mean, more than normal. I asked him all kinds of questions for a while, but then Cheerilee said maybe they needed my help at the bakery. I thought that was kinda weird since it’s the Cake’s day off, but I thought I’d check anyway 'cause Cheerilee's a super-smarty like Twilight. AJ, she was totally wrong! They didn’t need my help. I wonder why she thought that… I also looked around, but I didn’t see any other pink ponies in town, so I think your candied apples would be safe. I’d be there to guard them from the non-pink ponies, too. I can just see them now, all glisten-y and yummy, hanging there in the sun and smelling so delicious that you’d probably be eating half a tree before you knew it and then you’d take a nap and your hooves would be all sticky and you’d wake up with them stuck to your face. AJ, you shouldn’t do that! I guess maybe I’ll have to guard the tree from you to! Jeez, tree guarding is serious business! I think Mayor Mare wants you to come home, though. She’s asked me when you’re supposed to be back like five times today. Oh, and there are cows all over the place, for some reason. We keep asking them to maybe go home, or to move out of the streets a little, but they just stare at us all bored looking and chew a lot. I did get them to move them out of the way for a little while by turning on my hat siren! That sent them running around all over the place! Then the mayor confiscated my hat. I guess she liked it, too! I don’t mind, though. I bought twelve when I was down there. I’m so happy that you made friends with OJ and Toothy and everypony down there on that orange farm! I just knew you would because you’re the nicest, most dependablest, super-runningaroundandgettingworkdoneiest pony I know and I just knew they’d love you as much as we do when they got to know you. I hope all of you girls are coming back to Ponyville soon, ‘cause I miss you all tons and tons and tons! Oh, and also because there are cows all over the place. With laughter (and a new siren-hat) Pinkie Pie P.S. Have you heard from Fluttershy? I haven’t gotten a letter from her for a long time…