Chapter Three
“Welcome to Equestria”
I woke up… again…
And again, I was not in my freakin’ house!
I groaned in frustration and sat up, to which I noticed this world seemed far more colorful than my own, like vibrantly colorful, almost animated. I closed my eyes and pinched the bridge of my nose, before opening them again and looking to my right, where Terra was also sitting back up. She clutched my hand and her moogle doll tightly (huh? Where’d that come from?), but her grip on my hand relaxed when she realized we were in no danger.
We both sat there for a moment enjoying the colorful scenery, before I decided we needed to get a move on before things got dark. Maybe we could find a settlement nearby to stay in until we figured out where the hell we were.
As I looked around, I first saw a great city attached to the side of a mountain in the distance and I immediately ruled it out. It was too far to walk and cities generally weren’t a good place to start for up-and-coming adventurers. I turned to my left and saw a rather rustic town maybe… hmm, one or two miles away? Hell if I knew. Anyway, it was within acceptable walking distance, so I tugged on Terra’s hand to get her attention.
“Yes, what is it?” She asked. I pointed towards the town and she gasped “It looks so charming! It looks to be fairly close, too.”
I nodded “Yep, and that’s our first stop. We can probably gather information about this place down there as well.”
I looked back at the town, frowned, and then looked at the city. Something about both of them were strangely familiar, and then my brain finally got my attention and my heart began to race while my Inner-brony began to squeal like a girl on her birthday.
“Oooh, crap…” I said, because I knew where we were and what was coming. Terra gave me a confused look.
“Do you know where we are?” She asked, and I nodded slowly.
“Yeah… We’re in Equestria.” I replied and pointed towards the city in the distance “That’s Canterlot over there, where the Princesses Celestia and Luna reside. They rule this land and also raise the Sun and Moon each day and night, respectively.” I pointed toward the town “That’s Ponyville, pretty much HQ for the denizens of this world and setting for a show that’s based on it.”
Terra giggled as I listed off the names “This world sounds so cute! I wonder what the people look like?”
I smiled at her “I think you'll like it, Terra. C’mon, let’s head to Ponyville and I’ll tell you the reason I know who you are.”
“Is it along the same reasons you know about this place?” She asked, and I nodded. She put a finger up to her chin in thought, but then shook her head “No, if that’s the case, I think I’d rather not know.” She smiled at me “But thank you for being honest. I truly appreciate it, along with everything else you’ve done for me. You’re a great friend.”
I blushed, but smiled and tipped my hat “Why, you are most welcome, sweetheart. I just figured if you were gonna be stuck with me awhile, you should at least know the truth. The offer still stands if you ever change your mind, Terra.” I said, to which she smiled and nodded.
We started walking to Ponyville, when Terra suddenly thought of something.
“Why were you concerned about being here, Leon?” She asked.
“Because it’s very likely we’re going to be assaulted by someone the second we get to town.” I replied, but I also glanced around “Actually, now that I think about it, I’m surprised we haven’t seen her yet. Maybe her senses have been over-exaggerated somewhat.”
“You sure about that?” a bubbly voice chirped from behind me.
“Anything’s possible. In fact, it’s entirely within reason we may not have landed in the exact universe from the show. For all I know we could’ve…” Then I stopped, realizing Terra had not said anything.
I turned around and only saw Terra standing a ways away from me, her hands covering her mouth, trying and failing to cover her laughter. I groaned.
“Is there a pink pony behind me, perhaps making strange faces and attempting bunny ears on me without hands?” I asked her. Terra lowered her hands, revealing a cute smile barely containing her giggles, but she managed to answer my question.
“Why, yes. Yes there is, though I’m not sure if she’s actually a pony.” Terra replied “I mean, her face is vaguely equine and she is covered in fur, but apart from her legs ending in hooves, she does actually have hands.”
My jaw dropped for the second time in God knows how long. Seriously, my sense of time is more out of whack right now than if I had jet lag.
“Are you kidding me? Of all the Equestrias we could’ve landed in, we had to end up in the one with anthro-ponies?!” I put a hand up to my eyes and rubbed at them. After a moment, I clapped my hands together.
“Alright then, shock over, let’s introduce ourselves!” I said as I spun around to face a very pink pony-girl with a curly pink mane and tail of a darker shade.
Her current attire consisted of a pink t-shirt decorated in balloons and confetti with an unzipped pink jacket over it and she wore a pair of pink capris pants that were also pink with pink sneakers on her hooves (if you think it sounds weird, it’s because you weren’t there. It was way weirder).
She extended a pink, fur-covered hand to me and said “Hi, my name is Pinkie Pie, but you already knew that because you’re from a different world and so is she! And what’s your name?” She asked with literally the biggest grin I’ve ever seen on anybody (I also saw something flash across her eyes briefly, but it was gone before I could identify it). I decided to have a bit of fun with the pink party pony-girl (try saying that three times fast).
“I’m Thor.” I replied, giving her a dumb smile.
“You’re Thor?” She asked, her grin widening.
“Well it hurtth.” I replied, my dumb smile transforming into a wide grin of my own.
Pinkie Pie burst out into immense laughter and fell onto her back and I heard Terra giggling behind me. I turned to a random direction and put a fake smile on my face.
“Today’s broadcast has once again been brought to you by Grass.” I said, gesturing all around me “It’s everywhere, get used to it.”
Pinkie’s laughter hit a crescendo and I heard her actually gasping for breath.
‘Ah, so the party pony does have her limits.’ I mused before I extended a hand toward the fallen pony-girl and helped her up, still gasping for breath.
“You’re funny, weird bald pony!” She said with a final giggle.
“Not a pony, sugar. I’m human, and so is she.” I said, gesturing toward Terra, who’d caught up to us.
Terra and Pinkie eventually stopped giggling, at which point I promptly introduced us (properly, no smart-ass this time).
“My name is Leon, and this is Terra.” I said and Pinkie shook both our hands vigorously.
“You’re so cute, Pinkie!” Terra said with an elated expression on her face “And your fur is so soft!”
Pinkie hugged Terra fiercely “Aww, I think you’re cute too, Terra!” Then her eyes popped open and her jaw dropped “ohmigoshohmigoshohmigosh, we need to get you to Ponyville and throw both of you a ‘Welcome to Ponyville’ party! Or should it be a ‘Welcome to Equestria’ party?” She gasped again “Or it could be both! How fun would that be?! Oh, I can’t wait, we need to go now!”
The party pony-girl grabbed both of us and the world blurred. When it resolidified, we found ourselves standing outside of a two-story building that looked to be made of sweets. I immediately identified it as Sugarcube Corner, where Pinkie works and also throws her parties on a regular basis. Pinkie let go of our hands and waved frantically at us.
“Okokok, you two wait here, while I go get everything ready!” Then she started bouncing around us “Oh, I’ve gotta tell the girls about this, they’ll be so excited!” And she shot off at a speed that would’ve made a certain blue hedgehog jealous.
Once I decided the ground wasn’t going to slip out from under me, I turned to Terra, who looked rather green.
“Oh no…” I said, taking Terra by the hand and led her into the bakery “This way, Terra, you just need to sit down for a second.”
A mare wearing a baker’s outfit met us at the door, was about to greet us normally, but then saw Terra and shrieked.
“Oh, sweet Celestia, you look like you’re going to be sick! Come, dear, have a seat while I get you some tea.” She said as she took Terra’s other hand and led her to a table and helped her into a seat before hurrying off. I took the seat next to Terra and rubbed her back.
“Take it easy, sweetheart, just breathe.” I said. She turned her head to me and gave a small smile, but it vanished again with a small groan.
The mare returned with a bag and a tray with a teapot and two teacups, which she placed on the table in front of us and handed Terra the bag. Terra nodded gratefully and put the bag in her lap while I poured tea into her cup and handed it to her. Terra took a sip and grimaced, but then she took a longer sip before placing the cup back on the small plate. She was looking decidedly less green after that.
“Thank you, ma’am. I feel much better now.” Terra said weakly “I’m afraid I don’t have any money to pay you back with.”
The mare waved her hand dismissively “Don’t worry yourself about it, dear. We couldn’t have you getting sick now, could we?” The mare said, giving Terra a motherly smile.
I stood up from my seat and removed my hat, after which I offered my hand to the mare.
“My name is Leon, ma’am, and I truly appreciate you helping my friend.” I said as the mare took my hand and shook it with a smile.
“I’m Cup Cake, though everypony calls me ‘Mrs. Cake’.” She replied “And it was no trouble at all, it was actually my pleasure to help. And I know why she looked like that, not everypony can handle being around Pinkie Pie for long, though the poor dear means well.”
I nodded sympathetically, wondering exactly how many unfortunate souls Pinkie’s done her fast travel to, but ultimately deciding it was better not to. I returned to my seat next to Terra, who was looking around at the bakery in awe, staring at the various colorful ponies in the establishment now that she was no longer in danger of puking her guts all over the floor.
I decided to look around as well and easily recognized many of the individuals in the bakery, though there actually weren’t that many.
I saw Golden Harvest, wearing a simple white t-shirt and overalls with heavy work boots on her hooves and a pair of thick work gloves on the table next to her drink and munching on a carrot cake.
There was Berry Punch in the corner, looking like she literally just crawled out of bed with her baggy t-shirt and pajama pants, both colored a light blue to contrast her plum-colored coat. She was holding her head and her mouth was open in what I assumed was a groan as she took a light sip of her coffee. I barely managed to hide a smirk at the sight.
There were a few others that I recognized, but didn’t actually know their names. Besides, it would take too damn long to describe each of them.
My musings were interrupted by a rather posh voice.
“You look absolutely marvelous in that hat, darling, though that coat just does not fit with it.”
“I’ve never really had money to get a good coat to match it, but thank you just the same.” I said automatically, before it clicked as to just who in Ponyville would compliment someone’s clothing.
I turned my head in the direction of the voice and my jaw dropped… again.
How to describe exactly what I’m seeing…
It was Rarity, though it doesn’t stop there. She was… gorgeous, simply stunning, wearing a sleek light purple dress that accented her alabaster coat while also showing off her very feminine curves (seriously, you could not have mistaken her for anything other than female if you tried), with a diamond cut into the chest of the fabric to show off her rather ample… ahem, moving on. It was sleeveless and displayed her delicate arms, and it had a slit up the right side of the lower portion of the dress to display her long and shapely leg. Her royal purple mane was styled in such a way to bring attention to her facial features, which were damn near perfect.
Simply put, I was staring at a pinnacle of feminine beauty that the women of my world could not have attained with all the make-up and plastic surgery in the entirety of Earth. Seriously, she could’ve walked within a block of the building the Oscar’s were being held in and drawn all the press away just from sheer sex appeal.
She noticed me staring at her and gave me a sly wink, at which point I snapped out of my stupor and shook my head slightly. I stood from my chair and extended my hand in greeting.
“I apologize for staring, ma’am. My name is Leon, and this is Terra.” I said, gesturing to the girl who was still staring at the alabaster unicorn in awe. The unicorn smiled at me (and her eyes briefly flashed with something I couldn’t identify yet, the same thing that I saw in Pinkie’s eyes).
“And I am Rarity, Ponyville’s debut fashionista!” She proclaimed, extending her own hand to me, which I took and planted a light kiss upon. Rarity blushed at the gesture, but gave me a warm smile “Well well, it seems there is yet a stallion in Equestria that still remembers manners in the presence of a lady, though you don’t look like any pony I’ve ever seen in town before. Are you new?”
“Yes we are, Miss Rarity, and we’re not ponies; we’re humans. Would you like a seat, we were having tea while waiting for Pinkie Pie to return.” I said, offering a seat to the alabaster unicorn, who giggled.
“Be careful, Leon. If you continue to treat a lady this way, she may just take you home with her.” She teased, winking at me again. I blushed and coughed as she continued “Though you do not need to call me ‘Miss’, it’s just ‘Rarity’ to my friends.”
After pulling a chair out and seating her, like a true gentleman, I returned to my own seat next to Terra, who was staring at me now and giggling, though she turned back to Rarity.
“Wow, you’re so beautiful!” Terra said, clapping her hands together “I wish I was half as pretty as you.”
“Don’t sell yourself short, darling, your outfit is adorable! And the way you have styled your mane is simply gorgeous.” Rarity replied, taking one of Terra’s hands and giving it a gentle squeeze, causing Terra to blush.
Rarity turned her attention to me “So. What brings a handsome, if shabbily dressed, gentlecolt and an absolutely adorable filly to Ponyville?”
I shrugged “Don’t know yet. I woke up in some creepy hotel I don’t know how long ago, and found Terra while I was at it.”
“It was terrible, and I didn’t want to be alone. Leon took my hand and held on to it until we got here.” Terra said, giving an embarrassed smile.
“Aw, that is so touching.” Rarity said with a smile “Did you come straight here from that dreadful place?”
I opened my mouth to speak, but I realized there was a gap between when Terra and I were swallowed by the darkness and when we woke up here on Equestria.
“No, we… went somewhere else, but…” My head began to ache and I put the palm of my hand against it, groaning. It was then words came to me, spoken by a weirdly familiar voice.
‘Hey, stop thinking about it; focus on where you are.’
I felt Terra’s hand on my shoulder and I looked at her. As I did, the ache in my head went away. I gave Terra a weary smile, and patted her hand reassuringly.
“Are you okay, Leon?” Rarity asked, concerned. I gave her a small nod.
“Yeah, everything’s fine. Just a headache, I get them every so often.” I replied, smiling. At that moment, I heard my phone go off, granted it was muffled.
I face-palmed. In all the excitement I’d forgotten to put my crap back where it belongs.
I placed my messenger bag on the table, taking care not to spill anyone’s tea, and rummaged inside. I removed Terra’s moogle doll and handed it to her, wondering how the hell it got in there. I also removed the Charmander and handed that to Terra as well, which garnered a squeal from her as she took it and hugged both dolls.
Once my bag was clear of dolls, I discovered a surprising amount of stuff inside it, stuff I knew for a fact I didn’t put inside it (other than the power cables for my phone and iPod, which I’d never leave home without). There was a small box full of mechanical pencils and gel pens, two small notebooks which were blank when I flipped through them, along with some various other knick-knacks. I’ll go through those later, but right now I need the important one.
After a moment, my hands closed around my phone and I pulled it out, unlocking the screen and noticing I had a text message… from Pinkie Pie.
‘How the flip-freakin’ hell did she get a hold of my phone without me noticing, and when did she put her number in it?!’ After a moment of stunned silence, I pulled the taskbar down and selected the message.
From: Pinkie
Omw bak had sum truble getting dashie cant find rarity n e wer lemme no wen u c her
I groaned audibly at Pinkie’s terrible typing. Rarity, seeing what was going on, pulled out her own phone and tapped at it for a moment before placing it back in her purse.
Immediately, I got another text from Pinkie telling me to forget about the last one. The new one she sent was still nearly unreadable, I’m not going to ruin your eyesight by showing you.
I’m about to put it away, when I noticed Terra was staring intently at my phone. I shrug and offer it to her, and she takes it tentatively.
“What is it?” She asks, awed.
“It’s called a cellular phone, Terra.” I explain to the girl from a fantasy world (wakka wakka) “It’s a device I use in my world, apparently shared here in this world as well, that allows me to speak to people over great distances and also allows me to send messages to them. I’m actually kinda surprised mine works here.”
“It’s quite common knowledge, Terra.” Rarity said, eyeing the girl curiously “Don’t you have them where you come from?” Terra looks at the ground, her face red from embarrassment, as she hands me back my phone.
“No… We don’t…” She murmured. I glare darkly at Rarity, who looks at me quizzically.
“Did I say something wrong?” She asks.
“I’ll explain properly when the rest of the girls get here, but right now, you’ve made her feel stupid.” I replied coldly.
Rarity gasps, stands from her seat and moves around the table to embrace Terra.
“Oh, I am so terribly sorry, my dear Terra, my comment was made in ignorance!” She practically wails, making the entire building glance curiously at us “Could you ever find it in your heart to forgive me?”
Terra was even more embarrassed now, but not in the same way as earlier.
“Oh, um… Okay.” Terra replies, quietly, which only caused Rarity to squeal and hug her more.
“Oh, you are simply adorable! You are so much like my friend, Fluttershy, you could be her sister!”
I groan and hide my face in my hands, feeling the eyes of every pony in the building boring into us.
At that moment, I hear the front door of the bakery open and someone gasp.
I remove my hands from my face and look at the newcomer, a rather… pretty, lavender coated unicorn mare with a dark purple mane and tail that had a two-tone strip running through it, wearing an outfit not unlike something you’d find on a student attending a prep school, though she seemed a little old for such a thing. Not to say it wasn’t working for her, especially with those stockings she was wearing (what? A girl can show leg in more ways than just flat-out displaying it like Rarity does, though not many can pull stockings off like this girl could).
What really got my attention was the fact that she was staring at me like she couldn’t believe I was there, in that room. She was also breathing heavily, like she’d run all the way here from… wherever it was she’d been (most likely the library, but as they say… spoilers).
I coughed but, being the gentleman that I was, I rose from my seat and approached the stunned mare, though for some reason I felt my face heating up and my heart began to beat quickly.
“Hello, my name is-” I began, but she murmured one word that stopped me cold.
“Leon…”