Intermission: A Scientist, A Magician, and A Bully Enter a Bar...
"...The bartender says, 'What is this, a joke?'" James then waves his hands in a jazzy fashion. The bartender looked at him with a deadpan look, as if he's heard the joke a million time before. "I don't get it." he said. James then becomes disappointed, then laid his head down. "Of course you don't." he said.
Lately, he was getting homesick and tired. After his adventure with The Doctor (one of his favorite heroes), he went back home, tired and depressed. He tried to be happy, and tried to help out. But he couldn't help Applejack get apples down, he wasn't very strong. 'Almost broke both my hand and my leg.' James thought. He couldn't help Fluttershy without the help of Charlie, who was strangely going on his own adventures. He couldn't help Rainbow Dash without the supervision of Twilight. 'She didn't like me giving experimental chems to just anyone.' he thought, getting even more depressed.
He tried to help Rarity, but to no avail. 'She's right. I have no sense in fashion.' he said, looking at himself. He then tried to help Pinkie, but he was depressed enough to make Pinkie Pie depressed. He finally tried Twilight, and all that lead to was a psychoanalysis from her. 'She's not a psychiatrist anyways.' he finally thought. He then looked at the drink before him, seeing the smoke come from the whiskey. He then lifted it up. "To my life, may it fill me with joy." he said, then drank down the shot.
He soon coughed as the drink burned down his throat. It then occurred to him one thing, he usually didn't drink. "Bartender, another drink please." he said. The bartender pony nodded, then walked off. While he's waiting, a door opened and one blue pony entered. She was wearing a purple cape and purple wizard's hat with silver stars in it. On her flank was a magic wand, and a sparkles. "You look familiar," James said, "What's your name?"
The pony looked at him, then she said, "The Great and Powerful Trixie will not reveal her name." James gave her a deadpan look at her. It took her five seconds to realize what she done, before she facehoofed. "Anyways, I'm James Rouse, and I can see that you're having a ... time?" he said, as he tried to figure out how to talk to new ponies. He was never good at talking normally to people or ponies.
He suddenly heard the bartender get into trouble. "Gah!" "Can it shorty, just give me a drink!" a female voice said. James turned towards the voice, seeing a griffon sitting next to him. "Right away Gilda." he said, as he ran to service her demand. Gilda looked then towards James, who was trying to figure out why she looked so familiar. "What are you looking at?" she yelled. Trixie turned back towards the counter, James however just said, "You, being mean to him. What he ever do to you?" Gilda was taken aback by this comment, surprised that the stranger had done this. She then shook it off, and said, "It was because he was looking at me funny." The bartender then gave Gilda her drink.
"Hey bartender, how many griffons do you usually get in this bar?" James said to him. The bartender looked at him, then said, "Rarely any." James nodded, then said, " You see why he's looking at you oddly, he's hardly seen you or your kind here before." The bartender nodded, then gave James his drink. James then grabbed the bartender gently. "Hey pal, give the miss over here a drink as well will ya?" he said. The bartender nodded, then he left to get a drink. James nodded in satisfaction, then looked over at Gilda, who was still mad. "What's got you in a foul mood?" he said.
Gilda looked at him, surprised again. "Was that a joke?" she said. James thought for a moment, thinking of what he said, then he replied, "No, not really. Why?" "Because I didn't find it really funny." she said. James just shrugged, then turned towards Trixie. "So, what's your problem Trixie?" he said. Trixie lifted her head, and looked towards the young Scientist. He seemed warm, like a friend that was always there. "Alright, if you insist on hearing the story of my problem."
So there sat James, hearing Trixie's story. She told her story of how she was wowing the audience, how she handled fighting against the Mane Six, how she was busy sleeping when two idiots (James knew them as Snips and Snails, kind fellows, but not very bright unfortunately) woke her up and told her of the Ursa they awoke. "I was frightened by the beast that stood before me, and so I ran-." "Ha, figures! I would've handled it myself." Gilda said. James looked at Gilda, then said, "Yeah, and you would be dead, digesting in the monster's belly before you could've said, 'Stick em' up!'." James said sarcastically.
Gilda looked at him again, with now her jaw dropped open. James turned back to Trixie, then he added, "And close your mouth. You'll be liable to get flies in that beak of yours." She closed her mouth, surprised that he stood up for not only himself, but for what he considered a friend. James then motioned for Trixie to continue. She nodded, then continued. "I tried to stop him with ropes, but it didn't work. So, I hid for a bit. And that's when Twilight showed up." she said.
"She soon started using her mental powers to seduce the Ursa by picking it up and rocking it, then gave it milk. She then carried it back to it's cave, where it rested. Turns out that it was a Ursa Minor, A simple Ursa Minor, and I THE GREAT AND POWERFUL TRIXIE COULDN'T HANDLE A SIMPLE URSA MINOR?!?!" "Careful," James said calmly, "You'll wake something." Trixie looked at him, to which he took another shot of whiskey. He shivered as it went down his gullet. Trixie sat down, then said, depressingly, "I left town, as I realized that I was in trouble." "*PFFfff!* For what? Doing some simple magic tricks?" he said. She nodded. James was surprised by this, and leaned in on the table, placing his hand on his forehead.
"What has the world come to?" he said. Gilda, who heard the whole story, felt something that she didn't normally feel, compassion. James then looked at Gilda, and said, "Well, what about you? What's your story?" Gilda snapped out of it, to which she then started telling her story. She told of the meeting with her old friend, and her new friends. James listened in on Gilda's story, hearing the points of yelling at Pinkie and Fluttershy. When the tale was done, Gilda looked at James, to which he had the look of utter shock.
"Ok, I can actually see why Rainbow Dash unfriended you." "AW COME ON! So, I yelled at her friends. So what?" she exclaimed. James took another shot, surprised that he wasn't drunk yet, or he was drunk, and he didn't realized it. "There are three problems to your story. One, You yelled at Pinkie Pie. She heard that you liked pranks, so she did them for you." he said, calmly. Gilda took this into thought as she remembered yelling at Rainbow Dash. "Two, you yelled at Fluttershy. That's like kicking a puppy." He then stared into space. "Poor, innocent Fluttershy." he said, now drinking water. "And Three. Now this is the most important. You didn't apologize for any of the things that you did." he said. "You did do a pretty bad thing back there. Even I wouldn't yell at Fluttershy." Trixie said.
Gilda, who had thought about these things, started to realized that, strangely he was making sense. "Look, If you really want to get Rainbow Dash back, apologize and accept her friends as what they are." he said. Gilda pondered this, while James turned back to Trixie. "And I think that you need to apologize to the people for running away. It would work better if you were some mystical storyteller, telling your tales and travels that kids will believe and adults would know isn't real." he said. He thought for a moment, then he muttered, "That may explain why there aren't any fantasy writers here in Equestria."
He then grabbed a bottle of whiskey, labeled ironically enough "Applejack Daniels", then he poured out three shots for the three of them. "To the future, whatever it may hold. For the better or the worst of days, may the road rise up to meet ya, and kiss ya right in the smacker." They clinked glasses together, drank their share, then James payed for his. He then got up and headed back home. "Hey wait, we haven't heard your story." Gilda said.
James paused for a moment, as he stood there. He then turned towards them with a smile, and said, "Another time my friends. I hope life is good to both of you in the future." he said. He then left out the doors, as they heard the sound of a bicycle bell. Both thought of the advice of the stranger, then Gilda asked Trixie, "Who was he?" "I think his name was... James." Trixie said.
Both then went back to their drinks, remembering the friendly dude. James smiled as he rode his bike, feeling good that he could talk some sense to Trixie and Gilda. He was curious to what tomorrow would hold.