//------------------------------// // Chapter 7 // Story: Even Stranger // by SaltyJustice //------------------------------// That morning, the sun rose at exactly the appointed time for Celestia's daily calculations of orbital velocities - plus two minutes to account for, "Crap crap crap I slept in!". Hopefully, nopony had noticed. Cadence sat up in bed, Shining Armor still snoozing softly to her side. Now that the sun had woken her, there was no way she'd get back to sleep. It was also four hours until the train would be leaving that morning. She got up and dragged herself over to the wardrobe. The pair had packed the bare necessities but left the rest of it to be done this morning. Out of one bloodshot eye, Cadence examined her wardrobe and selected the only thing she was going to really need: her trusty sword in its scabbard, tucked at the back behind her formal attire. The sound of her fiddling woke Shining Armor, who threw the covers back over his head and grumbled. Cadence trudged over towards the bed, both of her eyes closed, and grumbled something unintelligible at him. He grumbled something else, and sat up, with the covers still on his head. "Mfgrrggh." "Frggmgmmg." "Frrrrm. Frm." A crystal guardspony entered the room as quietly as possible and snuck up behind the three-quarters asleep duo, as a rhino gently tramples up behind an unaware rock. Delicately, the guardspony hoisted a bucket full of water and ice cubes. Cadence stood stock still for a moment, then her head relaxed and she resumed her sleep while standing up. The guardspony, his face flat and stony, then poured the ice-water on her back and stepped away as she wildly flailed at him. After a few moments, her anger cleared and she shook her head, her eyes wide open and alert. "Ah, thank you so much Horace." "It was my pleasure, Princess. Shall I take care of the Prince?" "No, that will be my pleasure." Princess Cadence took the remaining ice-water and held it menacingly above her sleeping husband, who was obscured by the bedsheets but very clearly asleep. After a moment, her expression softened, and she relaxed. "This is wrong. So wrong," she said. She put down the ice-water delicately and looked wistfully at her husband's figure behind the covers. "Push him out of bed or we'll get the mattress wet." Horace and Cadence shoved the Prince out of the bed, dragging the sheets off, wrapped around him. They then mercilessly pelted him with the water. For good measure, Cadence kicked a few errant ice cubes at his head until he managed to get the covers off. "Ah, thanks Horace. See you in a week," Shining Armor said. He blew some of his soaked mane to the side with a puff of breath. The Crystal Empire's technology was in desperate need of mechanization, this alarm clock system was ridiculously elaborate. Horace bowed and stepped out after retrieving his trusty bucket, heading down the hallway to refill it and then slosh the councilors' heads, if they weren't up and about yet. He did this every day but never requested any compensation for it, not even accepting tips from his customers. He was the best at what he did, and he did it for free. Nopony was really sure why. "Just how long are we going for?" Shining Armor asked, shaking off the water and heading over to his own dresser. "Don't know. I'm not wearing anything special," Cadence replied. "Oh, you know what'd be romantic?" "Shiney, if this is going to be - " "What if we carried one another's bags?" "Oh yes, that sounds really romantic," Cadence responded, with every ounce of sarcasm her mouth could generate. "Some couples drink out of each others glasses, you know. I think it'd be sweet." "I agree." Shining Armor saw the playful smile on his wife's face. "Well, I suppose I ought to carry my royal armor suit. You never know when somepony will throw a formal ball." Cadence narrowed her eyes. "I've been meaning to take up a new sport. Ponyville does have a bowling alley, doesn't it? I can probably get three or four balls in one bag..." Shining Armor cocked his head to one side. "Why stop there? We can take my full set of scuba gear, and explore the bottom of Ponyville's lakes." Cadence grimaced. "Do you remember how Twilight loved it when I tried to teach her piano? Maybe we can take along one of those!" The two had crossed the room and locked their heads together, their voices just below shouting. "I've got a six-hundred pound rock that I never managed to identify sitting in the basement, maybe we could get my sister to take a look at it!" Shining Armor shouted. "Just one!? I've got three tons of Crystal Empire artifacts I'd love to get appraised!" "I'll take my entire model train set, with the table too." "Why stop there? I'll take the entire real train station, with the train itself thrown in!" "The palace!" "The moon!" "The sun!" "A black hole!" "MY LOVE FOR YOU!" Shining Armor shouted triumphantly. A proud grin on his face, he puffed out his chest and surveyed his vanquished foe. Cadence curtsied her foreleg and bowed her head. "I accept defeat. Nothing is greater than your love for me - cheater." "So we're carrying each other's stuff?" "Goodness no, weren't you paying attention?" The train rolled in to Crystal Empire station at 9:30 a.m. Ponies departed but none came on immediately, as the layover at this station was much longer than the other ones. Spiracle hopped off the train and nodded at the conductor, who was the taking the interlude as a chance to stretch his legs. She did the same, letting out a series of cracks as each of her joints protested in sequence. Her contact usually didn't meet her at the station anyway, the longer layover meant she could wander into town and socialize a bit. Having regular acquaintances made her all the more inconspicuous in the unlikely event she were tailed. Moseying down the road that led into the empire proper, Spiracle enjoyed the early morning sun and forgot, just for a moment, that she was an endangered species being hunted by literally everypony she saw. She smiled at the mailpony, waved at the filly running the crystal-corn-cob stand, and nodded humbly at the very old librarian lady who was always on the steps whenever she passed. Her contact was waiting near the fountain which never actually poured any water, and the two exchanged a glance as Spiracle trotted up. "Sasha Gio's Express! Package for you today. Anything to send?" "Just a letter. Cash on delivery, as usual." Spiracle gave her contact the package containing his Nectar supply and weekly instructions, and her contact passed her a letter containing his report - right in the open, without anypony suspecting anything. Spiracle's idea of operating a bonded courier business both made her real job very easy, and brought in plenty of extra funds for their other operatives. Commander Tarsus hadn't liked the idea at first, but eased up after he got the first cash infusion. If he had ever had a soft spot, it was for money. She trotted now towards the post office, in case any deliveries were going her way. This was her nest egg, so to speak. If anything happened to the hive, Spiracle could just melt away into the background, continuing her courier job and leaving everyone else behind. She preferred the outside to the inside, the freedom of making her own choices beat the crushing hierarchy of the intelligence services any day. Not a lot of changelings would have agreed with her, so she kept that little tidbit to herself. As she left the post office with three packages and headed back towards the train station, Cadence and Shining Armor were taking their time making their way towards the same destination. Cadence walked in front, her mane now tied in a ponytail and no longer adorned by the usual royal regalia. Shining Armor had somehow managed to get the job of carrying their sole bag on his back, possibly a result of their earlier competition, possibly as a result of a lost bet held at sometime in the distant past. "... but only for a little while. Then he told me I could put the mop down, because it was giving him the tremors," Shining Armor said. "Tremors? Like, quaking legs? He was scared of a mop?" "He said his first wife died in a mopping accident." "Those are always so tragic..." Cadence said, hanging her head. A passing mare had heard what Shining Armor has said, and gave a sympathetic look. The worst part about mopping accidents was how easily they could have been avoided. "I've been meaning to catch up with Twiley. Living halfway across the continent put a dent in our quality time," Shining Armor said, making a brisk change of subject. "You could just invite her to visit." "Can't. She said Ponyville needed her more, whatever that means." "It means she doesn't want to hang out with you. She probably thinks you're a - " "Pardon me missy. Where did you say you were going?" The two stopped and looked over to see a very aged crystal pony standing beside the road. The other ponies were walking around her in very wide arcs. Her glasses were extremely thick and her eyes seemed pinched half-shut all the time. "Ponyville, to visit my little sister," Shining Armor offered. "Ponyville? That's perfect, mister," the old pony wheezed. She gave a crisp whistle and another crystal pony appeared from the alley behind her. "Mom, what are you doing? "This little lady and her coltfriend said they're going down south." "Mom!" This new crystal pony certainly bore a resemblance to her mother, wearing likewise a pair of thick glasses and having an expression like she was squinting. "I'm sorry about this, mom's getting on in her years. She's been bothering everypony who says they're going down south," she apologized. "Bothering them for what?" Cadence asked. "Charlie moved down the Ponyville to work on the rails, hasn't been back here in months. Mom wants to send him some of our Crystal Honey but she says the couriers cost too much." "They do! Dag-nabbit, twenty bits for some glassware is robbery!" As if to accentuate her point, the old pony spit on the ground. Cadence and Shining Armor stepped back gingerly. Now they knew why everypony else was walking in wide arcs around her. "Mom, you do know that's the Princess, right? She's probably way too busy to be ferrying honey around." "Princess-shmincess. When I was little, you charged two bits or the emperor sent you off to the crystal mines, and we liked it! Ponies got things done, and they got it done right!" Cadence and Shining Armor exchanged a look. Shining Armor pleaded with his eyes, Cadence relented. "I'll carry it, then," Cadence said. "Huh?" the younger crystal pony asked. "Well if I'm going that way, I may as well help you out. It shouldn't be too hard to find a crystal pony in Ponyville. You said his name was Charlie?" "Aye, he's my brother. Tell him Merriam sends her best. Tell him mom sends hers too." "You there, slacker! Why are you lettin' your marefriend carry these jars? Don't you have any self-respect?" the old pony shouted. The younger of the two rolled her eyes and trotted back into the alley, before emerging with three narrow jars filled with golden Crystal Honey. Tiny flecks of solid crystalline sugar bubbled through the fluid as it moved. Cadence took the three jars and tucked them under her wings until she could get a bag to properly hold them. "Thank you kindly for doing me this favour, missy," the old pony wheezed. Her genial expression turned sour in a moment. "Now git a move on!" As the pair walked away from the barking malcontent and her daughter, they could hear another exchange transpiring. Most of the ponies on the street could hear it, too. "Mom, could you please not call the Prince a slacker?" "He is a slacker! Why, in my day, we didn't have fancy trains, we walked where we needed to go! And we certainly didn't let the ladies ruffle their delicate sensibilities with no hauling jobs!" "Mom, that was a thousand years ago." "You gone daft? I'm not that old!" After they were out of earshot, Shining Armor and Cadence instinctively stopped walking with their backs straight and heads held high. "That was worse than getting yelled at by my grandpa," Shining Armor remarked. "I know exactly what you mean," Cadence said. She put on her best old pony's impression. "Why you fillies these days have it so easy. Don't you know, I had to walk to school in blizzards with nothin' but a wool cap on, for fifty miles! Uphill! Both ways!" "Reminds me of my old drill sergeant," Shining Armor remarked. "Was he old?" "So old, they didn't have spears or swords when he was young. All they had were two sticks, and a rock - and they had to share the rock."