//------------------------------// // Patronizing Performance // Story: Busting Boasts // by GrassAndClouds2 //------------------------------// Trixie took off her hat and bowed deeply. “Trixie had no idea such a distinguished peer of hers was residing in this quaint little town. What a pleasant surprise.” “I did not know you were traveling this way,” said Octavia. She tried -- and almost succeeded -- in keeping tension from her voice. “I had thought you were still touring the Manehattan districts.” “Oh, Trixie was, but she couldn’t just stay in one city forever, could she?” Trixie grinned. “Not when there are whole cities that have yet to experience the joy, the wonder, the magnificence and the magic of the Great and Powerful Trixie!” “What about the ego?” murmured Medley. Fluttershy frowned at her. “Anyways,” continued Trixie. “Trixie is putting on a little show tonight, and requires musical accompaniment. She has been told that you’re the mare to see, Vinyl?” Vinyl hesitated. “Uh. Tonight? I kind of need more notice than that.” Trixie smiled winningly. “Trixie is certain you can make an exception.” Vinyl still said nothing, and Octavia looked back at the others. She could guess what they were thinking -- Vinyl was overworked as it was, and it was not only disrespectful of Trixie to demand music so late but likely impossible for Vinyl to provide it. Medley spoke first: “We’re all musicians, Trixie. Why don’t one of us play instead? We--” “Oh, Trixie is sure you are,” said Trixie. “But she require the freshest, the newest, and the most popular performances for her shows. She wants everypony for miles around to love it!  And that requires... none other than the famed DJ PON3.” She turned back to Vinyl. “What do you say?” “... I can do it,” said Vinyl, at last. She was frowning slightly, but her voice was steady and determined. “Vinyl!” hissed Medley. “You don’t need to say yes just because she’s some fancy noble--” “But there’s a surcharge for the late notice,” added Vinyl. “And you need to get me the details -- like, now. DJ PON3 has to get set up ASAP.” “Money won’t be an issue,” said Trixie. “SPIKE! Get over here!” From around the house a purple-and-green dragon hurried over. “Aw, what’s going on, Trixie? I was having fun. There’s this orange foal who wanted me to set fire to some obstacles on her scooter course--” “Not now.” Trixie levitated a quill and parchment out of her hat, and scribbled a quick message. “Send this, Spike.” “Alright, fine.” Fluttershy gasped. “What an adorable little dragon! Wherever did you meet him?” “Trixie's parents got him for her tenth birthday.” Trixie’s eyes twinkled. “Isn’t he the most amazing assistant to be found anywhere? And a huge hit with the foals.” “If you really want to express your appreciation,” said Spike, “I accept tummy rubs, gems--” “Spike. Letter.” “Oh, right.” Spike blew green fire onto the parchment, which vanished in a flash. “Message sent, boss!” “The money will be coming shortly,” said Trixie. “What... did you just do?” asked Vinyl. “Sent a letter. Spike here can teleport mail to another pony for me.” “Your family?” asked Fluttershy. “My bank manager.” She beamed. “Anyway, Trixe hopes you’ll all be attending her show. Ponies always love them.” “What exactly will you be showing?” asked Medley. “Oh, a little magic, a little music, a little sleight-of-hoof. Octavia can tell you all about them.” Trixie grinned. “Remember that show Trixie did in Chenneigh, Octavia? Wasn’t that something? Must have been twenty thousand ponies cheering by the end of it.” Octavia realized that she was gripping the doorframe hard enough to leave little indentations. “You are a very talented entertainer,” she managed. “Well--” Spike coughed a few times, and then belched up a small leather pouch. “Ugh... I hope you asked for a lot of money this time. I don't want to have to do that for a while.” “Just enough.” Trixie opened the bag and floated a few platinum bits out to Vinyl. "Trixie believes this covers everything?” Vinyl stared at the large numbers on the platinum coins. So did Medley, whose mouth dropped slightly. Even Fluttershy looked stunned. Vinyl spoke first. “Uh. Yes. Yes it does. Where’s the show?” “Town square, sundown. Bring your A-game.” She began to trot off with Spike. “See you there! It’ll be a night the town will remember forever!” *** Vinyl had to immediately begin setting up for the show, so the jam session was cut short. Lost in her own thoughts, Octavia began to walk home. “Hey.” The cellist turned to see Medley and Fluttershy pursuing her. “Yes?” asked Octavia. The two looked at each other, and Fluttershy spoke first. “Um, you seemed kind of... upset at Trixie. Did she do something to you?” “No.” She turned, but Medley flew to her other side. “Okay, is there something else we should know?” Octavia hesitated. “Octavia.” Medley frowned. “We’re your friends, remember? Talk to us.” Fluttershy trotted over and nuzzled Octavia slightly. “We’ll always give a friendly ear,” she said. Octavia sighed. “It is...” The two waited expectantly. “I admit it. I am jealous of her.” Medley frowned. “Jealous... of that jerk? I’ve known her for five minutes and already I can’t stand her.” Octavia shook her head. “You have not seen her shows. I did, when she toured in Chenneigh. Thousands upon thousands of ponies, all cheering that they loved her and were her friends.” She was silent for a moment before continuing. “I have been struggling to learn even the basics of friendship. Even now, more than a month after we obtained the Elements, I still err. I was late for our session today; I completely forgot about the work I am doing with Miss Cheerilee in favor of my own studies; I failed to pay attention to Vinyl’s comments. But Trixie understands it effortlessly. All across the nation, she is a pony everypony loves.” “You’re a good friend,” said Fluttershy. “Even if you make mistakes sometimes.” “Yeah. We’ll let you know if you aren’t,” said Medley. She smiled, and there was a fair amount of tooth in it. “Trust me, we’ll let you know.” Octavia smiled slightly at that. “Thank you... but it is still embarrassing to me. I can barely fulfill my duties to the few friends I have, and hers number in the tens of thousands. Even Vinyl -- we all know how busy she is, but Trixie charmed her into taking on this extra job at the very last moment." "Or bribed her," said Medley. Octavia shook her head. "Trixie knows how to befriend ponies.” “You should go to her show,” said Fluttershy. "I know you don't want to, but you should go anyway." Octavia blinked. “I... I had not said that I did not want to.” Fluttershy smiled knowingly. “Octavia...” “I had not decided if I would attend!” said Octavia, blushing. “Honestly!” “Well, decide.” Medley nodded. “If you think she knows something you don’t, go there and see what she does. And we’ll be there, so if she’s cheating or making stuff up, we can help you spot it.” Octavia hesitated for another moment. “Alright. I will attend.” “Awesome.” Medley grinned. “Now... dunno about you, but even if Vinyl’s busy I’d still like to practice something today. What say we head to the park and try a trio of birds, strings, and aeolian harp?” “Yay!” said Fluttershy. “That sounds fun!” Octavia smiled and nodded. “I would love to, Medley.” I might not be that good at friendship yet... but at least I have a few that I can count on. *** Octavia hesitated as she approached the town square. “I am... maybe I should turn back.” “Nope,” said Medley, merriment in her voice. “We’re getting you to this party if we have to hit you over the head and drag you there.” Fluttershy turned mildly green. “...we are?” “Not literally.” Octavia couldn’t resist a soft chuckle. “Yes but... I mean, look at it.” Ponies completely packed the square in front of Trixie’s gem-studded wagon. Many of them were residents of Ponyville that Octavia recognized, but still more had different accents and clothes that placed them as visitors. Trottingham, Hoofington, Fillydelphia... Octavia even heard a few Caneighdian accents. Ponies had come from near and far, from elsewhere in the province and even from cities far away, to attend Trixie’s show. Octavia’s heart sank slightly. I could never command that kind of friendship... “Look!” somepony cried. “It’s Twilight Sparkle!” “The prodigy?” “Yeah! That’s her!” Octavia followed their gaze and saw a purple unicorn trotting along with about a dozen tagalongs. The purple mare’s horn was glowing, and numbers and equations were flashing in front of her. “You see,” she was saying, “If you perform a simple non-negative matrix factorization of the matrix of magical energies, you can easily separate out the background magic in the air from the spell you’re actually trying to cast.” Her voice was triumphant. “I know the Everfree’s supposed to be a challenging spell environment, but if you know a few simple tricks, it’s nothing, really.” The ponies behind her made a series of ‘oohs’ and ‘aahs.’ “You’re so smart!” one of them cried. Twilight blushed. “Aw, thanks,” she said. Octavia looked at her friends. “That is Twilight Sparkle, the mare who wanted to meet Vinyl.” She narrowed her eyes at the clasp on her saddlebags, a five-pointed star inscribed within a golden circle. "She must have graduated the Mage Academy; I see their insignia on her bags." “I’d love to meet her,” said Medley. “I--” “Hey!” Twilight's gaze fell across them, and a moment later she was approaching at a canter. “Wow! The Bearers of the Elements of Harmony!” Twilight skidded to a halt in front of them and awkwardly bowed. “I’m so honored to meet you! I -- hey, wait.” She tilted her head. “Where are the other three?” The three ponies looked at each other. Octavia finally spoke. “Bluenote is out of town teaching foals. Lyra is... er...” She wasn’t sure how to honestly describe what Lyra was doing in a way that didn’t sound silly. (Come to think of it, she didn't know how to describe anything Lyra did in a way that didn't sound silly.) Fortunately, Medley took over. “Lyra’s doing botanical stuff. But I’m Medley, this is Fluttershy, and that’s Octavia.” “I’m so happy to meet you! I -- oh, right, should introduce myself too.” Twilight blushed. “I’m Twilight Sparkle, newest graduate of the Canterlot Mage’s Academy. And these,” she nodded at the ponies behind her, “are my study group.” “They followed you here from Canterlot?” asked Octavia. “Wherever our teacher goes, she drops pearls of wisdom,” said one of the study group members. “We’d be foolish not to follow and pick them up!” Octavia wasn’t sure whether to be upset that another pony was clearly better at making friends than her, or mildly nauseous at the metaphor. “Uh.” “Anyway -- I have so many questions! The Elements! How do they work?” asked Twilight, eagerly. The three Bearers looked at each other. “How... do they work?” asked Medley. “Yes! What’s the secret? My theory is that the Elements draw upon your own innate life energies and magnify them, then focus them together into a source of magic that is directly powered by your own wills! Am I right?” Octavia blinked. “I--” “Whereas, Professor, Piebald P. Pumpkin,” and her tone grew slightly derisive, “Seems to think that it’s just a transportation spell, such that there is some reserve of magic stored somewhere and the Elements simply let you tap into it. But that’s not right, is it?” “Of course not!” chorused the study group. “I don’t really know how they work,” said Fluttershy, seeming to shrink slightly. “But, um... Vinyl’s really good at magic theory. Maybe she knows?” “You don’t know how they work?” Twilight blinked. “How can--” Before she could continue, the lights in the square flickered and the doors to Trixie’s wagon burst open. “FILLIES AND GENTLECOLTS!” Trixie strode out onto the stage to a storm of furious applause. “MY LITTLE PONIES, IT IS TIME FOR YET ANOTHER GLORIOUS CELEBRATION!” She swept her hooves out, gesturing vaguely at the stands -- Bonbon’s Bon Bons, Sweet Apple Acres pies, Sugar Cube Corner muffins and cupcakes. “Eat! Drink! Be merry! For tonight only, everything is on the Great and Powerful Trixie!” The cheers increased, and then a crush of ponies bore down on the dessert vendors. “Oh! I gotta go!” said Twilight. “When the show starts, I want to be front and center. Trixie’s supposed to be some great mage, but, between you and me,” she dropped her voice, “I think she’s all hot air. Just simple illusions from what I’ve heard, no technique... and if she is, I won’t let her fool these ponies anymore! Let’s talk more after the show!” And she hurried off into the crowd, her acolytes following. “Some ponies,” observed Medley, “Shouldn’t be plucked up and told they’re smarter than everypony else.” “There’s no shame in being smart,” said Fluttershy. “Yeah, and I guess there’s nothing wrong with being rich either, but flaunting either is just obnoxious.” Medley wrinkled her nose. “Look at everypony. Octavia, none of them like Trixie. They just want free cider.” Octavia opened her mouth to respond, but then a cheer rose up from the crowd. “Let’s hear it for TRIXIE!” cried somepony. “TRIXIE! TRIXIE!” “TRIXIE! TRIXIE!” yelled others. Octavia smiled wryly. “Yes, their contempt for her is self-evident.” Medley shook her head. “Not what I... look, you’ll see. Come on, let’s grab food and then get good seats. I want to see some of this ‘great power.’” *** The food was sumptuous. Trixie, Octavia thought, had clearly paid for the best. She had never tasted apple butter quite as sweet as what she was eating, though she had dined at some of the fanciest tables in the Duchy of Chenneigh and the capital city Canterlot. Octavia made a note to visit Sweet Apple Acres and see if she could sample more of their highest-quality wares. “Alright!” called Trixie, appearing on stage in a blast of pyrotechnics and dazzling sparks. “Now! Trixie hopes you’re all fed and watered, because the Great and Powerful Trixie is ready to ENTERTAIN!” There were more cheers. “For her first trick... let’s see... oh! A brililiant idea!” Trixie grinned. “She shall pull a rabbit out of her hat!” But then she paused. “On second thought, that’s a bit cut-rate, isn’t it? She thinks you deserve better!” There were more cheers. “No, she will pull a dragon from a hat!” More cheers. “Actually -- no!” Trixie reared back on her hind legs. “Something truly revolutionary! She will pull a rabbit... out of a DRAGON!” Octavia blinked. “What?” Spike trotted out onto the stage, now wearing a cloak that looked similar to Trixie’s. “Ah, her assistant has joined us!” said Trixie. “Now, Spike, open wide!” Spike smiled and did so. “Aaaah!” Trixie’s horn glowed. “Abracadabra! Abracadoo!” she roared. (Octavia could swear she heard Twilight yell, “Those aren’t real magic words!”) “Now you’ll see what Trixie can do!” yelled Trixie. Her horn flashed, Spike shuddered, and then a huge rabbit -- almost as large as Spike himself -- jumped out of the dragon’s throat and began to hop around on stage. “Wow!” cried several ponies in the audience. Trixie grinned and basked in the applause. The rabbit, for its part, hopped around on stage. “Thank you! Now, for my next trick...” And so it went. Trixie tapped the ground and carrots sprang up; she lifted a table to reveal another table of twice the size beneath it; she -- with much flailing of her hooves -- ripped apart the very air and opened a viewing portal into ‘the twelfth dimension.’ Octavia had to admit that the magic appeared top-notch, and the crowd was eating it up. Every trick seemed to bring on louder and louder shouts. “Pretty good show,” said Medley. “She might be a noble snob, but she can cast.” Fluttershy nodded. “I hope she’ll stay in town for a few days. She seems fun, and maybe I could do an event with her...” Octavia said nothing. She listened to the raving ponies and sighed quietly to herself. Maybe this was a bad idea. Trixie hopped atop a table. “But that was all nothing compared to her next trick! Behold, as the Great and Powerful Trixie crafts an Ursa Major from the air itself, and--” “That’s not magic! You’re a fraud!” Trixie blinked, a slow smile crawling over her face. “Well,” she said. “It seems there’s a neigh-sayer in the audience. Who dares challenge the magical prowess of the Great and Powerful Trixie?” “I dare!” There was a flash, and then Twilight Sparkle popped from nowhere onto the stage. “That’s not a real rabbit! It’s just an illusion!” Her horn flashed, and the various objects Trixie had ‘created’ on stage -- the rabbit, the huge table, the carrots, and everything else -- vanished. “Illusions,” drawled Trixie, “are a perfectly valid school of magic. Granted, they’re a bit difficult for the laymare, which is perhaps why you’re unfamiliar with them.” There was general laughter. “Miss...?” “Twilight Sparkle, graduate of the Canterlot Mage’s Academy,” said Twilight. Her acolytes clapped from down in the crowd. “And one of my duties as a professional mage is to shut down frauds like you! Tricking ponies into thinking that this is real magic, when any grade-foal unicorn knows that illusions are the simplest kind of magic there is! They aren’t even real. Just smoke and mirrors.” Trixie laughed. “Not real, is it?” Her horn flashed, and Twilight seemed to vanish. “Then I guess you aren’t real either.” There were gasps. One pony was heard to yell, “She got rid of Twilight!” The air seemed to shimmer and rip, and Twilight thrust her head out. Her horn was glowing brightly. “Nopony got rid of me! She just made it look like I wasn’t here!” Her horn flashed again, and the illusion vanished. She stalked towards Trixie. “You’re not great or powerful. You’re just a fraud.” “Pah. I’m a fantastic mage,” said Trixie. “Why, I’ll bet I can do anything you can do -- and better.” “Hah!” Twilight grinned. “I doubt that, Trixie Lulamoon.” Trixie grinned. She slowly stretched her legs, cracking the joints. “Oh yeah?” And she began to sing: ”Anything you can do, I can do better. I can do anything better than you.” Twilight laughed and shook her head. ”No you can’t.” ”Yes I can!” ”No you can’t!” ”Yes I can!” ”No you can’t! ”Yes I can, yes I can!" The two unicorns looked at each other -- Twilight glaring, Trixie smirking. The crowd stared, transfixed by the sight. Twilight was the one who sang next: ”Any spell you can cast, I can cast better. ”Sooner or later, I can out-magic you.” As she sang, her horn glowed, and stars began to shoot out of it. But Trixie just laughed. ”No you can’t.” She began to summon stars as well, dozens of them. ”Yes I can.” ”No you can’t.” ”Yes I can.” ”No you can’t!” ”Yes I can, yes I can!” With blasts from Twilight's horn, Trixie's stars flashed and vanished. A few moments later, Twilight's did as well. The crowd cheered. Trixie bowed. “The Great and Powerful Trixie also does astronomy, fillies and gentlecolts!” There was general applause. Twilight smirked. ”I can bring elation -- with one incantation!” Her horn glowed, and about a dozen ponies burst into laughter. Trixie twirled her cape. ”I can form a sparrow -- from one bow and arrow!” Some archery equipment floated out of a storage crate, the arrow fired from the bow, and with a flash, a bird was shooting over the audience and tweeting merrily. Twilight scowled as apples and oranges appeared in front of her. ”I summon food from the air!” ”While the rest of us can’t?” ”Right!” ”Wow, you’re just like a plant!” And a little image appeared in the air. It was of a gnarly weed growing in the sun. It looked ugly, and vaguely purple and Twilight-shaped. Twilight started. “HEY!” Trixie just laughed and bowed again. ”Any height you can reach, I can climb higher-- ”I can climb anything higher than you!” Trixie’s horn glowed, and she began to float up towards the ceiling. A few moments later, Twilight began to follow her. ”No you can’t!” the purple unicorn sang. Trixie grinned. ”Yes I can!” ”No you can’t.” ”Yes I can!” ”No you can’t!” ”Yes I can!” ”No you can’t! ”Yes I can!” ”No -- you CAN’T!” cried Twilight as her horn flashed. Trixie vanished from the ceiling of the stage and reappeared below, her illusion dispelled. Trixie shook this off. ”Yes -- I CAN!” She summoned a lasso from a storage crate, and swung it around Twilight's barrel, then pulled. The purple pony crashed into the ground. The showmare grinned. ”Anything you can craft, I can craft cheaper. ”I can craft anything cheaper than you!” Twilight summoned what looked to Octavia like a little toy pony made of wood. The purple mage put it down, and it began to gallop on its own. ”Fifty bits.” ”Forty bits.” ”Thirty bits!” ”Twenty bits!” ”No, you can’t!” ”Yes I can, yes I can!” Twilight scowled. ”Any spell you can cast, I can cast subtler!” Trixie shook her head. ”I can cast any spell subtler than you!” Both mares began to levitate the objects around them, horns barely glowing. ”No you can’t!” ”Yes I can!” ”No you can’t!” ”Yes I can!” ”No you can’t!” ”Yes I can, yes I can!” Trixie bowed dramatically as she set her table down. “Sorry, Twilight, but an isolated egghead like you just doesn’t have the practical experience to compete! Why don’t--” “Egghead!” yelled Twilight. “I’m not an egghead!” "Oh, yes, Trixie is certain you have so much real life experience!" Twilight flushed and levitated a big mug of Sweet Apple Acre’s Extra Dizzying Super Cider. ”I can drink this liquor, faster than a flicker!” Trixie lassoed it away from her and gulped it down in one swig. ”I can drink it quicker -- and get even sicker!” Twilight blanched, but sang, ”I can crack most any safe!” ”Without getting caught?” ”Right!” ”That’s what I thought -- ya crook!” Twilight scowled again. ”Any spell you can hold, I can hold longer. ”I can hold any spell longer than you!” Twilight grinned and cast a spell, and the table in front of her began to dance a merry jig. Trixie’s horn glowed, and another table joined in. ”No you can’t!” ”Yes I can!” ”No you can’t!” ”Yes I can!” ”No you can’t!” ”Yes I can, yes I can!” ”No you can’t--” With loud thunks, both tables again fell over at the same time. ”...fine. We can’t.” ”Anything you can wear, I can wear better. ”In what you wear I look better than you!” ”In my coat?” ”In your mane.” A burst of light enveloped Trixie, and then she looked like a carbon copy of Twilight -- though one making a goofy face. ”My horseshoes?” ”And your hat!” A very silly purple hat appeared on Trixie’s head. “That’s not mine! That--” Twilight blinked. ”No you can’t!” She cast, and Trixie returned to her normal appearance. ”Yes I can, yes I can!” ”Any spell you can cast, I can cast faster!" ”I can cast any spell faster than you!” Spells began shooting across the stage in a blazing array of lights and sounds. Octavia almost shut her eyes at the brightness, but the show was too entertaining to look away. ”Noyoucan’t!” ”YesIcan!” ”Noyoucan’t!” ”YesIcan!” ”Noyoucan’t!” ”YesIcan!” ”Noyoucan’t!” ”YesIcan!” And the rest was inarticulate, until there was a large explosion that sent both of them sprawling away. For a moment, there was only silence. “Are... they alright?” whispered Octavia. And then Twilight, still lying down, sang: ”I teleport o’er hurdles!” ”I escape from any girdle!” ”I can summon sweaters!” ”I can fit them better!” Twilight sprang back to her hooves. ”There is no spell I can’t cast!” ”Can you conjure a pie?” Twilight hesitated. “...no.” Trixie waved a hoof. ”Eh. Neither can I.” The crowd roared. ”All ponies you impress, I impress better!” ”I impress ponies much better than you!” ”No you don’t!” ”Yes I do!” ”No you don’t!” ”Yes I do!” ”No you don’t!” ”Yes I do!” ”No you don’t!” ”Yes I do!” ”No you don’t, don’t, don’t!” ”Yes I do, do, do!” There was a momentary silence, and then they sang as one, ”No you don’t!” ”Yes I do!” The two stared at each other for several more seconds. Trixie opened her mouth to sing something else. “Hey!” a pony called. “This song’s getting boring! Do something new!” Twilight chuckled, while Trixie flushed. “Hmph. The Great and Powerful Trixie rarely gives this much time to hecklers. You ought to be grateful, Miss Sparkle.” “I spend as much time as I need on debunking frauds and charlatans!” Twilight stuck out a hoof at Trixie. “You call yourself Great and Powerful, but you only know a few spells! You’re taking advantage of these ponies!” “And I suppose you know more?” “Well, I don’t like to brag, but yes! If you want to show them magic, you should be showing them real spells!” Twilight trotted over to Trixie’s props. “Altering these objects at their molecular level! Adjusting weights, densities, physical properties! Enchanting things to be more than they are or conjuring them from nowhere; divining the secrets of the future or evoking any emotion at all in your audience! Not just illusion, illusion, illusion!” She grinned. “Besides, you’re sloppy. I can see it in your spells; they’re all brute force, struggling with it until it does what you want. It’s like you don’t understand any of the theory or technique behind real magic.” “Hmph. Trixie casts what ponies like, and what ponies like isn’t her sitting around reading a boring textbook for half an hour.” Trixie grinned. “Magic is about results, Sparkle. Didn’t you learn anything in that fancy school of yours? Or is that your excuse? You understand magic so well it excuses you from having to cast it?” “That’s ridiculous. Magic is about understanding the forces that make up the world at their most fundamental level. If you don’t understand them, you’ll never be a great mage.” Twilight nodded sharply. “I can see every spell that went into your ridiculous costume. I bet you have no idea what went into my toy pony there!” Trixie shrugged and picked up the toy. “Nope. Don’t need to.” Her horn glowed, and suddenly the wooden horse appeared to be about twenty feet tall and was breathing what looked like fire. “And yet Trixie has improved on it anyway.” “That’s not improvement! That’s--” Twilight blinked. “Okay, you know what? The Element of Magic is here. Let’s ask her to be tiebreaker.” “Hmm.” Trixie turned to the crowd. “Trixie supposes that is an acceptable option. Bearer of the Element of Magic! Trixie welcomes you to the stage!” There was a flash of lights, a blast of smoke, and then a panel behind the stage dropped... to reveal Vinyl Scratch, bent over her speaker console, horn glowing brightly. Vinyl paused, and Octavia noted that she seemed unusually flustered. “Uh... hi!” the DJ eventually managed. “Didn’t, uh, know I’d be on stage quite so early, but--” “Yes, yes,” said Trixie, waving this off. “We were having a bit of an argument, Miss Scratch, as Trixie knows you heard, and since you have some... experience when it comes to magic, the Great and Powerful--” “Are you... working the sound equipment?” said Twilight, in a skeptical voice. “I thought you’re the Bearer of the Element of Magic!” “I am!” said Vinyl, giving a cocky grin to the audience. “So what are you doing in a technician’s job?” wondered Twilight. She glared at Trixie. “How did you get her into this?” “Woah!” said Vinyl. “I’m a DJ. This is my job. I run sound equipment and play the most awesome tunes in Equestria!” Twilight stared. Trixie grinned. “Yes, it seems like some ponies have a slightly different view of magic than yourself, Twilight. It’s not about obscure minutia and formulae nopony cares about or understands. All that matters is that it works. Who cares about why?” “Uh, actually, I do.” It was Trixie’s turn to stare at Vinyl. “What?” Vinyl shrugged. “All this equipment, I built most of it. Meant I had to develop all the magic from scratch. Knowing why it works was pretty important.” “See?” challenged Twilight. “You see? The Element of Magic agrees with me.” “Well, actually--” began Vinyl. “So you’re on her side?” Trixie flushed and turned to the crowd in obvious bad temper. “Well -- who cares! It’s all nonsense. Let the eggheads have their old tomes. Practical, applied magic that works is all that matters.” Vinyl frowned, and Octavia recognized the signs that she was starting to become annoyed. “Hey. My stuff works.” She forced a grin. “Behold!” Vinyl hit a switch, and began to play a wubstep piece -- but almost immediately, sound seemed to come from nowhere, smothering it and drowning it out. Trixie grinned, horn glowing. “Wow. Impressive theory. Meanwhile, Trixie's music actually plays.” Vinyl’s horn glowed as the unicorn flushed. “Hey! That--” “Observe!” Trixie swept a hoof about, and her own music -- a popular tune that Octavia recognized as a Neigh Orleans trot -- seemed to sweep around the area. It didn’t sound all that good; Lulamoon wasn’t controlling for the acoustics of the room, but it was loud enough to drown out Vinyl’s notes. “See? An experienced showmare like Trixie,” and the showmare flashed a grin at the other two unicorns, “Can always beat a couple of booksmart eggheads.” Vinyl was almost red. “Hey, I--” Twilight put out a hoof. “Easy.” Her horn flashed, and Trixie’s music stuttered and stopped. “Trixie, you’re being ridiculous! Insult me if you want, but Vinyl Scratch is the Element of Magic. Show some respect!” “Hmph,” said Trixie. Vinyl began to speak again, but Twilight again cut her off. “Besides, have you even looked at what she’s done? The spellwork in her speakers and equipment is quite sound. She’s got the potential to be a great mage someday!” “Yeah, I -- wait. Potential?” asked Vinyl. Twilight nodded and took the center of the stage; Trixie, seeming to realize something, backed off and let her have it. “You could be a great mage,” said Twilight. “Many of the best archmages in history started off grubbing around in practical environments before really buckling down with their studies! In fact-” And she beamed. “I can teach you!” Vinyl’s face was perfectly flat. “Teach me.” “Of course! You just need a few years in a studious environment, being tutored by somepony like me” she said, “And you’ll be as good a mage as can be found in Equestria.” She chuckled. “Works out well for me too, since ‘training an apprentice’ is one of the things The Official Guide to Being an Archmage says all good mages do!” She trotted over to Vinyl and put a hoof on her shoulder. “Just stop with your silly ‘technician’ and ‘DJ’ jobs and devote yourself to magical theory, and--” Her next reply was drowned out by a truly deafening blast of wubs. Octavia couldn’t really tell what happened next. Trixie and Twilight were both bowled over, and then there was smoke on the stage and the audience was starting to murmur anxiously. When the smoke cleared a few moments later, Vinyl was gone. There was only Trixie and Twilight. Trixie smiled winningly, every inch the performer who would not allow the show to falter. “Anyway! I think you’ve heard enough, ponies. Now -- who thinks Twilight is the better mage?” The purple unicorn’s acolytes clapped and cheered. “Vinyl Scratch?” A few scattered cheers sounded. “And who thinks it’s the Great! And! Powerful! TRIXIE!” The cheering was much louder. Octavia was only half paying attention. She looked at her friends. “Where is Vinyl?” “I don’t know, but I don’t like this. She never bails on gigs,” said Medley. “Come on. Let’s find her.” Fluttershy nodded, and the three ponies hurried off into the night.