“So THAT’S what the movie is about!?” said Gilda, continuing with the group’s random conversations as they trekked through the woods.
“Yep,” said Dumbbell.
“And this gets a THEATRICAL release!?”
“Yep.”
Gilda groaned. “I don’t want to live on this planet anymore.”
“I know, right?” agreed Dumbbell. “Well, maybe when we become rich we can all buy a rocket ship.”
“Or a magical Stargate!” added Hoops.
They both stared at Hoops.
“Thank you, Hoops,” said Dumbbell, rolling his eyes a bit.
Behind them, Flam called up to Blueblood at the front of the group. “So what does the map say next?” he asked.
Blueblood glanced down at the map. “You must enter a cave as dark as night. It is guarded by a warrior of black and white,” he read out loud.
“Oh, great. A Kung Fu Panda reference?” Trixie groaned.
“Just everyone keep your eyes peeled,” said Blueblood.
They continued walking through the dense forest. After a little bit, they could see ahead of them that the forest seemed to come to an abrupt end. They continued forward and walked out into the clear, only to find themselves on the edge of a rocky cliff.
“Whoa!” they all exclaimed as they quickly halted themselves and looked down over the edge of the cliff. It was a long way down to the forest below. Not far down below them on the cliff face there was a steep slope of loose rocks, which lead to a sheer drop.
Trixie looked at Blueblood. “Are you sure we’re going the right direction?”
Blueblood looked down at the map. “Well, according to the map we are.”
“Is this on the map?” asked Flim, a bit peeved.
“I don’t get it!” said Blueblood, looking over the map in frustration. “The cave should be around here somewhere.”
“Oh, perfect! We’re lost!” moaned Upper Crust.
Just then Iron Will noticed they were getting pretty close to the edge of the cliff, and that the rock they were all standing on didn’t look very stable. In fact, he could feel it moving a bit under his hooves.
“Hey, don’t get too close to the edge, guys,” he said to all of them. “We’re already risking it with the weight on this…”
Iron Will was cut off as the ground suddenly collapsed from underneath them. Their screams rang out across the forest as they all fell. Gilda and the four pegasi all flared their wings and instinctively took flight. The others were not so fortunate. The wingless group members all hit the rocky slope and slid slash rolled down towards the shear drop.
Gilda, Lightning Dust, Dumbbell, Hoops, and Score swooped into action and flew down to their aid. Gilda grabbed a hold of Iron Will and stopped his descent. Dumbbell grabbed a hold of Jet Set’s hoof, who in turn grabbed his wife’s hoof. Hoops and Score saved Flim and Flam, and Lightning Dust got Trixie. Blueblood, however, continued to tumble all the way the sharp drop. Blueblood managed to grab onto the edge with his front hooves and save himself. He was now hanging off the edge of the slope, but his hooves were slipping. He started screaming.
“HELP! I’M SLIPPING! SAVE ME! SAVE ME!”
Trixie looked down at Blueblood and decided to try and help him. She let go of Lightning Dust’s hoof and quickly, but carefully, skid down the slope to where Blueblood was hanging off the edge, using her magic on her own body to help control her decent. She stopped herself at the edge and grabbed a hold of Blueblood’s hoof, just as he was about to loose his grip.
“QUICK! PULL ME UP!” he shouted.
Trixie grunted as she tried to pull him up onto the ledge, but she wasn’t strong enough. “I CAN’T! YOU’RE TOO HEAVY.”
Blueblood felt his heart sink. “OH, CELESTIA, I’M GONNA DIE!” he moaned loudly.
Just then Trixie looked upwards, and expression changed from panicked to calm.
“Let go,” she said.
Blueblood gaped at her in shock. “ARE YOU CRAZY?!”
“No. Gilda and Lightning Dust are right behind you, in position to catch you,” she explained.
Blueblood looked behind him, seeing Gilda and Lightning Dust hovering there. He turned back to Trixie. “ARE YOU CRAZY?!” he said again. He didn’t trust Gilda, or her new BFF Lightning Dust, worth a bit.
“You have to!” said Trixie, her face straining again as she struggled to hold onto him. “I can’t hold on much longer! Your hoof’s slipping!”
“GET THE OTHER PEGASI!” shouted Blueblood.
“They’re helping the others!” said Lightning Dust, becoming impatient. “What’s wrong with us?”
Blueblood glared back at her and Gilda. “You think I’m stupid. I don’t trust either of you! You’ll probably just let me fall to my death!”
“Don’t tempt me!” growled Gilda.
“Blueblood, you’re about to slip out of my grasp!” grunted Trixie.
Blueblood couldn’t believe the situation he was in. A few moments ago, he was up at the top of the cliff, then in a blink of an eye, he was about to plummet to his death.
“We’ll catch you, you idiot! Now come on!” said Lightning Dust.
Blueblood still didn’t believe a word from them. They probably wanted him dead so they could take the map for themselves. They already made it obvious that they don’t care about him. But he knew he was about to slip out of Trixie’s hold anyway, and would just plummet to his death no mater what. So, taking a deep breath, he closed his eyes and let go of Trixie’s hoof.
Blueblood could have sworn he saw his life flash before his eyes as he went into free fall. But then, not even a second went by when he felt arms grab a hold of him and his falling ceased.
Blueblood dared to crack open an eye and saw that he was in Gilda’s and Lightning Dust’s hold, being brought down safely to the bottom of the cliff below.
“You need to take off a few pounds, Princy,” remarked Gilda.
Blueblood barely even noticed what Gilda said. He could feel his heart pounding in his chest. He kept expecting Gilda and Lightning Dust to drop him at any moment, but to his great surprise, they never did. It slowly began to dawn on Blueblood that he, in fact, wasn’t about to die.
Blueblood let out a deep sigh of relief when he felt his hooves touch solid ground again. He noticed the other pegasi carrying the others down to the bottom of the cliff as well.
Blueblood turned to Gilda and Lightning Dust. “You… saved me!” he said, dumbstruck.
“You’re welcome,” said Lightning Dust, turning away.
“… I… I just thought… you hated me.”
“We DO hate you,” said Gilda. “That doesn’t mean we’re gonna let you DIE! Oh, and by the way, you dropped this.” Gilda held up a piece of parchment in her talons. Blueblood took it in his magic and saw that it was the map.
Blueblood just stared at the Griffon and the Pegasus for a moment as they turned and flew back up to the slope to help carry down the rest of the team. He began to feel a twinge of guilt inside of him, something he hadn’t felt in a long time. He had been thinking Gilda was the worst commoner scum in Equestria, what with all she had been doing to him, and that Lightning Dust was little better, but they had just saved his life when they could have easily let him fall to his death and go find the treasure without him.
Once the whole team was all down at the bottom of the cliff, Upper Crust suddenly had a breakdown.
“I CAN’T DO THIS ANYMORE!” Upper Crust cried, falling to the ground in despair. “I WANT TO GO HOME!”
Jet Set turned to his distraught wife. “Upper Crust-”
“NO!” she stated. “THIS IS JUST TOO MUCH!” She looked up at Prince Blueblood. “YOU NEVER SAID THAT THIS TRIP WOULD BE AS DANGEROUS AS IT IS! SINCE COMING OUT HERE, I’VE BEEN ATTACKED BY A DEMON BUNNY, CHASED BY A GANG OF GHOULS, AND NOW WE’VE ALMOST FALLEN TO OUR DEATHS!” She suddenly slapped a hoof against her neck. “NOT TO MENTION THAT I’M GETTING EATEN UP BY MOSQUITOES!”
“We’ve come too far to turn back now!” Blueblood argued.
Upper Crust shook her head. “Look! I don’t even want the money that much anymore! It’s not worth all this!”
Jet Set was sitting down beside her, looking like he wanted to try and comfort her, but he wasn’t sure how.
“Upper Crust, listen to me!” said Blueblood, leaning down close to her face. “We’re not just doing this for money!”
Upper Crust stared up at him. “We’re not?”
“No. We’re doing it for more money than you could possibly imagine, along with immortality, glory, and most important of all, being able to rub everyone else’s faces in it.”
Upper Crust thought for a moment. “That does sound pretty good,” she said finally.
“So what do you say?”
Upper Crust slowly nodded. “Alright.”
“Atta girl,” said Blueblood encouragingly, patting her on the shoulder.
Score suddenly spoke up. “Hey! Look! There’s the cave!” he announced loudly flying up into the air several feet and pointing back towards the cliff.
They all looked in the direction he was pointing. There, at the bottom of the cliff they had just come down, slightly hidden behind a couple of trees and some underbrush, was a cave opening in the cliff wall.
Blueblood took out the map with his magic and looked at it. “So that’s were it is!” said Blueblood. “I knew it was around here somewhere.”
They began to walk towards the cave, until they all saw something coming out of the darkness inside it, walking towards them. The group all froze, waiting for this stranger to come into the light. None of them were expecting a zebra to walk out of the cave. A zebra Trixie recognized.
“Hello,” said the female zebra cheerfully.
“Hey, I know you!” Trixie exclaimed, pointing at the zebra. “You were there the last time I was in Ponyville.”
“Ah, yes. Trixie, I believe,” said the zebra. “You’re not up to no good again, are you?”
Trixie snorted in response and turned to look away from the black and white striped creature.
The team all looked at Trixie.
“Trixie, you know this zebra?” asked Blueblood.
“We’ve met,” said Trixie, not sounding happy about it. “This is Zecora. She’s some strange hermit who lives in the Everfree Forest and is friends with everypony in Ponyville.”
“She actually LIVES if this Faust-forsaken place!?” exclaimed Upper Crust in shock, unable to imagine why anypony would choose to live in a place so wretched and horrible.
“Yeah, like I said. She’s strange! In fact, she does this thing where she rhymes everything she sa…” Trixie paused mid sentence and looked back over at the Zebra with a confused expression on her face. “Wait. How come you aren’t rhyming now?”
“Oh!” said Zecora. “Because the author was too lazy to come up with rhymes for me.”
“Oh.”
“Let me guess,” said Blueblood, talking to Zecora. “You’re the warrior of black and white the map was talking about.”
Zecora nodded. “Yes. That is me.”
“And you’re gonna try to stop us from entering the cave, aren’t you?” asked Flam, all of them already knowing the answer.
Zecora nodded again. “That is my job.”
Blueblood looked at Trixie. “Trixie, is she dangerous?”
Trixie grinned and shook her head. “No. Just annoying.”
Zecora frowned at that.
Blueblood smirked and looked back at the team. “Alright. Come on, everypony,” he said, gesturing forwards with his head. They all started walking towards the cave entrance. But when Blueblood tried to walk past Zecora, she quickly jumped in front of him, blocking his way.
Blueblood glared down at the zebra. “Excuse me, ma’am! I demand you move out of our way this instant.”
“I’m afraid I can not let you pass,” said Zecora, now glaring at the group with a serious face. “I know what you seek, and you are not meant to have it. Now why don’t you all just hand over the map, go home, and forget all about this madness.”
The twelve of them were all sick and tired of this same-old speech by now. Blueblood tried to push Zecora out of the way, but the zebra refused to budge.
Zecora suddenly placed her hoof on Blueblood’s chest. Before the Prince even realized what was happening, he found himself being sent flying backwards through the air, crashing into Dumbbell, Hoops, and Score right behind him. The four stallions collapsed onto ground in a heap.
When the group looked back at Zecora, her eyes were glowing red, and her body was surrounded in a magical black aura, just like the cloaked guardians they had encountered before. Everyone gasped as the zebra began speaking in a deep, booming demonic voice.
“YOU WILL PERISH IN THE FLAMING PITS OF TARTARUS, WHERE THE DEMONS CTHULHU AND BEELZEBUB WILL FEAST UPON YOUR BOILING FLESH AND CHEW UPON YOUR ENTRAILS!!! THEN, A MILLION YEARS OF BLAZING TORMENT!!!!!”
Blueblood didn’t stop screaming throughout the witch-zebra’s entire threatening monologue. When Zecora was finished, Blueblood got up off of Dumbbell, Hoops, and Score, and ran and hid behind Trixie, who just rolled her eyes at his actions.
The darkness faded around Zecora and she went back to looking normal again. She smiled at them like nothing had happened. “Impressive, hmmm?” she asked, now talking normally again.
“How the heck did you do that?!” exclaimed Trixie. “Zebra’s can’t use magic! You’re just as useless as Earth ponies!”
“Don’t you think that’s a little racist?” asked Upper Crust.
“No, it’s species-ist!” Trixie shot back. “And do you even really care?”
“Hmmm… Not really.”
“As a guardian,” began Zecora, “I have been taught how to use certain kinds of magic without the need of a unicorn’s horn.” She then frowned at them. “You did not heed my warning. Now I’m afraid I must do what ever is necessary to stop you from reaching the goblet.” Zecora reared up on her hind legs and threw her hooves into the air. Her eyes glowed red, and she cried out in her demonic voice once again. At that moment, the clouds above them darkened and lightning began raining down from the sky. Everyone panicked as bolts of lightning began striking the ground around them, leaving smoldering scorch marks in the ground where they struck.
“EVERYPONY TAKE COVER!” Lightning Dust shouted.
Everyone jumped around in a panic, doing everything they could to try and dodge the bolts of lightning striking the ground all around them. Gilda and the Pegasi took to the air, but that did little better to aid their efforts.
Zecora’s demonic laugh rang out as she watched their pitiful efforts to avoid her lightning with amusement.
Iron Will leapt and narrowly avoided another bolt of lightning. He glared at the witch-zebra angrily as she laughed at their torment. Looking at her red eyes, he remembered he had something in his backpack, and he got an idea.
“Enough is enough!” Iron Will shouted as he began walking right up to Zecora.
“IRON WILL, WHERE ARE YOU GOING?” shouted Blueblood as he dodged another blast.
“DON’T BE A HERO!” Jet Set shouted.
Zecora either didn’t notice Iron Will walk right up in front of her, or she simply didn’t care, but she just continued to laugh and rain down lightning upon them.
Iron Will spoke. “When somepony gets in your way, MAKE THEM PAY!” He then held up a can of aerosol Axe deodorant and sprayed the unsuspecting zebra right in her face.
Zecora screamed in pain and held her hooves to her burning eyes. The lightning immediately stopped and the rest of the team stopped running around and looked at Zecora.
“AHHH, YOU BASTERD!” she screamed, still using her demon voice, as she rubbed her eyes with her hooves. “AHHH, THAT REALLY RELLY BURNS! I WILL GET YOU FOR THIS! I WILL RETURN!” And with that, the screaming Zebra raised one of her hooves above her head and then she disappeared in a burst of emerald flames that magically appeared around her.
Everyone took deep breaths of relief now that the crazy zebra-witch was gone.
“Thanks for that, Iron Will,” said Score. “We were all almost toast!”
“Don’t mention it,” said Will as he was putting his can of Axe deodorant away.
“How many more of these ‘guardians’ do you think there are?” asked Jet Set.
“I don’t know,” said Blueblood. “But lets just hope we don’t run into anymore of them.” He then pointed at the cave with his hoof. “Lets keep moving.”
They all nodded and proceeded into the cave.
“Is it still too late to change my mind about all this?” asked Upper Crust.