//------------------------------// // The Doctor, The Schoolmare & The Just Plain Clumsy // Story: Perhaps Death // by WritingSpirit //------------------------------// 462 AC, Third Winter, 21, 15:33:31 . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . He... He was there. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . If... if he weren't... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . None of this would happen. She would still be here. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Right beside me. Where she belongs... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . "HURRY UP, TURNER!!" "I'm trying!" I shouted back, whirling around with my whirring sonic busting the panels at the side, the steel doors sliding shut just in time. The incessant curses of those lambasted Cyberponies was enough to make me scoff and I would've been standing there laughing their flanks off at their predicament if they hadn't possessed the technology to drill through that gate. Listen to that, the whirring of a commonplace carpenter's tool, only through steel instead of wood. What more would you expect from the daft minds of the Cyberponies? "I appreciate it if you would get that door open, please!" came my demands, turning to my fellow companion, her back facing a large double door, sliced diagonally from the right corner. It was the exit out of Cyberpony heaven, in which case is mechanical Equestrian hell, just to let you know. "Even in the distant future, staring at me does not open any doors!" My companion, Twilight Sparkle, immediately stumbled to work. Yes, I dare say she hasn't quite got the 'spontaneous-improvisation-of-an-escape-plan' portion of my list of necessities when travelling in the TARDIS down yet. I don't blame her, mostly because she was quite a beginner; this was her fifth travel with me and the TARDIS, but it was a first for encountering otherworldly dangers of drastic proportions that would've scared many her age senseless. For that, I give ounces of my respect to her. "Ugh!" she yelled, slamming a sonic screwdriver I handed to her a few days ago against the wall, much to my horror. As you can see, I only gave her the screwdriver, just in case, but never taught her how to use it yet, so you could say that slamming the screwdriver on a wall is an absolute no-no. "How do you... open... THIS?!!" With a sudden whir, the doors effortlessly slid upon, leaving her standing there gawking just as the cold wind blasted into the room. Of course, I had to gallop out the door, yanking her along in the process just in time as the Cyberpony lasers graze past my shoulders. If there's one thing about the Cyberponies that I know, it's that they have horrible aiming. I blame their horrid masks. "The TARDIS is just ahead!" I shouted, the unicorn nodding hastily. "Go on without me! I'll be there before you know it!" Twilight's grip on my hoof tightened; a promise for me to keep, that I'll be back no matter what happens. I could only nod, beckoning her towards the lone police box standing on the snow-covered hills, before turning back to face a charging horde of my age-old adversaries; the ones ranked just right below the bloody Daleks. "Come on!" I taunted, aiming my sonic at an unfortunate Cyberpony. Another thing about Cyberponies: they never learn. The one I was aiming at charged straight towards me, its limbs blasted off from its sockets just as I pressed the button. One by one, they hurled themselves towards me, their chances of pinning me down decimated thanks to my zapping screwdriver. You should've seen it, the sight of metallic parts flying down the hills. Truthfully speaking, I would've stopped to admire my handiwork as well, but time is of the essence. A fizz of magic barely scraped past my shoulder, turning around to see my fellow companion shooting out bolts of her magic from her horn. With a fascinated grin at her defense, I ran down the hills, away from the inviting 'manor' standing on the tippy-top of the hill. Trust me, it looked like a manor at first glance, but once you've seen its interior... jolly McGee, you'll have a different opinion of isolated houses on hills for the rest of your life. "That's enough, Twilight!" I yelled, grabbing her hoof once I reached her side. "Let's go!" By now, I'm sure you, my dear reader, is extremely confused at the dramatic turn of events. Time for a brief explanation... AC 462. Hearth's Warming Eve. It was on this particular day that I, of all ponies, had been invited (somehow through a crinkled letter dropped off at Daisy's) to an ambassador's celebration at the aforementioned manor just eight miles south of Trottingham over the much-talked about occasion of the successful alliance between pony and griffon. Of course, I was requested to bring a dinner date (guess who) along, and I was so certain this would be a rather jolly celebration! So certain that I almost forgot about the strangeness of the occasion: how did a letter written five hundred and forty-three years ago end up in a plain diner in the middle of Canterlot? Well, to be honest, Twilight Sparkle, not me, was the one who discovered it to be a Cyberpony ambush. Said she shook somepony's hoof and got a little electric jolt up to her witty head. Of course, with evidence conjured through my trusty ol' sonic on the supposed 'guests' and the grand ballroom changing into some confounded cockpit of some sort -- the perfect hideout for a Cyberpony lair -- you could see how our rat race began. "Make it snappy now!" I shouted once again when we've reached the door at the TARDIS, handing Twilight the keys to unlock the TARDIS door as I turned back towards the manor. My head had been counting down from eighty ever since we stepped out of those doors and, if I'm not mistaken, we should be somewhere at five... four... "Three......" I whispered to myself. "Two...... one......" Commence the fireworks! The moment Twilight managed to open the TARDIS door, the manor/Cyberpony spaceship burst apart, its invisible camouflaging force field shattering like petty glass to reveal its true, dastardly form: a giant chunk of a galactic vessel that almost looked like it coincidentally crashed down into that specific hill. Then again, Cyberponies weren't exactly good listeners during the landing lessons in aviator training courses. Giant shards of metal rained down upon us, stabbing into the farmland mercilessly and leaving whirl trails of smoke in the air. Overwhelmed with joy despite the dangers, I flung my hooves into the air, laughing loudly at the brilliant spectacle of burning debris and frantic Cyberponies running about to fix their mess. Ah, the glory of success!! "Magnificent!!" I exclaimed with enough vigor to fuel the whole of Las Pegasus. "You've done it once again, Turner! Pat in the back for you!!" "Turner, what in the world are you--?!" *BONK* Golly. Second time that happened. One minute, I was praising myself with a cheerful grin on my face. The next, when I turned around, my snout bumped into Twilight's, leading her to trip and fall backwards and dragging me along with it, to which I had a little moment of fuzzy vision when I hit my head onto the side of the door. When I came to, with a groan... well, I er... I was in one of the most embarrassing positions I've ever been in my entire life! There I was, sprawled over my fellow friend in such a crude and suggestive manner that most of you would've believed we were having a secret session in the love nest that is my TARDIS! The moment our heads cleared and we've realized our... awkward... positions... then came the apologies, starting from yours truly. "I'm so sorry!!" "No! I should be sorry!! I was the one who bumped into--" "No, you were anxious about me! I should've headed back in instead of celebrating outside--" "But I was meant to--" "You were meant to call me in, so technically it is my wrongdoing--!!" "CAN WE JUST...!!!" she finally snapped the chain, clenching her eyes shut mostly to simmer down her rage, her cheeks still deep red from what happened. With one last tremble, she let it all out in a sigh, looking at me in the eye. "Stop. Just pr-pretend it never happened," she stammered. "A-And if anypony, and i swear by C-Celestia, anypony, knows about this... you'll... you'll be so..." Humiliation. That's what it was. Plain humiliation. Without another word, she stomped off, perhaps to cool herself off in her private sanctuary in the TARDIS: none other than the library itself, with her adoration of books and all. I was a little terrified of her temper at that point, probably because she had never been so downright infuriated with me before, even though this wasn't the first time we had a petty fight over petty things. Of course, that left me and my uncanny tricks with my darling! Flipping every single switch necessary for firing it's engines, the machine lurching and whirring like it always does, my concerns turned to that of Twilight. As I have mentioned, she was uncomfortable with relationships, so you could say it was truly perturbing to her on the notion that our lips almost met. Almost. Just about two centimeters away! Narrow escape for her, I have to say! Her idea of a coltfriend was every mare's idea of a coltfriend: sweet with words, kind from head to toe and worthy of keeping them safe. Yes, it's that kind of Prince Charming act, where off he goes to save the damsel in distress. Oh, trust me, I'm not that kind of pony. I'm level-headed, straight-to-the-point and always on the go. That's how the Doctor does it, and he does it best like the suave curves of a Stetson. Yes, Stetsons are cool. Don't need you guys to tell me that. It was back home for the both of us. Yes, back to the poshy environment of monarchical Canterlot and into the mundane tragic play that they effortlessly call 'modern education'. Twilight insisted that she has to meet somepony important. Said it was somepony aspiring to be one of the greatest stallions of the century. Yes, listen to that! Nothing worth being envious about, eh? Right? Sure enough, the whirring restarted, signifying the end of our travels through space and time. I was just about to call her out from the library until I caught sight of the small red beep at the corner of my eagle eyes. "Oh dear..." . . . . . . 1008 AC, Third Spring, 22, 12:19:42 "HOLD ON, TWILIGHT!!" Yes. That was me shouting once more. "I'M TRYING!!" Well, uh... guess who? The fact that we were tossing and turning like tomato slices in a blender wasn't what one would call definite. Speaking of definite, I don't have a definite plan to get us out of this crazed whirlwind of a mess. All I could do was clamber up, my hooves gripping onto the aisle and pulling myself back to the control panels in the center, my eyes gazing at the date (the same one you saw) in the screen. "BRAKES!!!" I thought aloud over the clashing spurts of electricity and clanging pieces of metal. "BRAKES, BRAKES, BRAKES, BRAKES...!!" One pull of the switch and, sure enough, the whirring of the TARDIS's engine died down and before you know it, we were spiraling faster than ever before, gravity pulling down my flapping ears as we descend back into the fertile atmospheres of Equestria. At least, I think it was Equestria. We were tossed off our hooves when the TARDIS lurched suddenly, crushing into gravel and soil with the silhouettes of narrow leaves slapping at the windows, before finally grinding to a halt. Head giddy, I clambered up from the lower levels of the TARDIS, back aching from all the tumbling I've done. "Wh-where are we?" a dazed Twilight asked, hoof pressing onto her aching temple. "Turner? Are you listening?" I sniffed the air. Many ponies don't know it, but one can tell a lot from the planet's air, from its surrounding aromas, to its levels of pollutants, to the last couple who ordered a mug of cider last night at a nearby bar. The enhanced sense of smell I possess could even go far as to say they had four mugs of cider, which then they probably had a fun time last night. Uninterested. "We're somewhere in the southern parts of Equestria," I replied. Stereotypical, yes, but that's a safe suggestion, considering that there are three planets who share the same oxygen content as our home. Best to avert from the truth than to let Twilight Sparkle fly into a frenzy. You should know that. Opening the TARDIS door (and toppling over a cairn of soil barricading it in the process) both of us stepped outside, finding ourselves in a middle of a tilled field. I must say, the irrigation of soil here must be pretty impressive, judging from all the tall green stalks all around us, their bountiful fruit timidly hiding in their hanging pods. The sky was blue and clear as I expected; this is Equestria, fortunately for us. Now to figure out just where we are... "Where in southern Equestria, exactly?" Twilight asked. "Let's see here..." Plucking a leaf, I gave it a tad bit of a lick. Just a simple flick of my tounge across, no savoring like it's a lollipop or something; the only flavor one would savor from these kinds of leaves is chlorophyll, and that by itself tastes like medicine collected from the sewage pipes. I prefer mine with mayonnaise and olive oil. "Judging from its texture..." I murmured. "This plant is the species Zea mays, known more commonly as--" "The typical maize plant," Twilight finished my sentence, face beaming. "So... where are we?" "Well, we have fields of corn, a particularly southern feel of air and cider..." Of course, our companion here has no idea about the latter; evolution certainly is unpleasantly slow at times. Besides that, there can only be one possible place that possesses all three distinct features and I can tell you, it certainly isn't the best place to have a vacation. "We're in High Horn Gulch," I explained. "A small town only a few miles south of Canterlot and two days away from Appleloosa. Famed for its corn produce and, otherwise, nothing else. Due to its surprisingly short distance to Canterlot, it's often called the Town Beneath the Capital's Shadow. Brilliant place to be in for a nice shade, a little view of the sunset and an exquisite cup of caramel latte on the house, unless you're from Trottingham. Recent survey: sixty percent of Trottingham-ish ponies never felt welcome in this town. Quite sad... quite..." "Wow..." was her reply, cringing from my omnibus of awkward facts. "And? Is there anything else like, I don't know, how in the world are we gonna get back?!!" "Calm your pinny little horn, Miss Sparkle," I answered, strutting back towards my dear TARDIS all soaked in imprudent splatters of mud. Of course, that was the least of my worries; it's more of the internal systems that I'm particularly concerned about. A body with dysfunctional organs would never move, right? "Seems we're in a slight bit of a pickle." "Why? What happened?" "The TARDIS is recovering from a time energy surge," I answered, tapping at the doors. "It's similar to some sort of battery recharging. I shall be able to speed it up, but otherwise we have to wait for... at least fifteen minutes? Twenty?" "Great!" With a loud groan and hooves tossed into the air, Twilight marched off to the side, settling herself cautiously down onto the driest pile of dirt she could find, brushing away the tingling leaves of the corn off her neck. Sometimes she can be a pain to deal with, thanks to her restrictive habits of being positively on time for anything. Couldn't she remember that we're actually travelling through a time machine? "Just be patient..." she muttered to herself, making me shake my head. "Just... be... extremely... patient..." "Hello?!" Both our heads perked up at the foreign voice. It was a stallion, judging from his croaky voice, around our age. I have honestly no idea who would go wandering off and getting themselves lost in a labyrinth of a corn field. Perhaps he had seen our rough landing from somewhere? "Who's there?" I called out, waiting for a response with my screwdriver up and ready. It came immediately in the manifestation of the pony, tripping into our sight with a slam into the dirt and a gasp from Twilight. She was about to help him up before I stopped her in her tracks with one hoof on her chest. I mean, really, help a random stranger in the middle of nowhere? A random stranger? Pish-posh! "Who are you?" I asked cautiously, pointing my sonic at him, much to Twilight's shock. "And adding to that, how did you discover our location?" "Turner, for Celestia's sake!" She shoved it! Of all the things that Twilight Sparkle could ever think of doing, she shoved my hoof away! Doesn't she realize that I'm trying my best to protect her from... from him? It? He could be anything: a paid spy sent by the Daleks, a Teselecta sent to kill her or even those Cyberponies underneath a cloaking device, seeking revenge from us blowing up their ship! Of course, when it comes to ethics, it was different entirely. The stallion was absolutely terrified, cringing in the dirt underneath my presence. To be honest, if he wallowed any more longer in the mud, his bright amber coat would've matched his mane! Already tears were springing in his blue eyes, begging for mercy. It's nothing special, be it pony or alien, to behave as such, but this was a first. For this stallion had something the rest of them didn't in all the millenniums I've traveled in. Innocence. "Sorry about my friend," I could hear Twilight whisper, having crouched by his side. "He's a little... paranoid around new faces." "I am not!" "Not helping, Turner!" With a groan, Twilight lifted him up onto his hooves, brushing a little mud off his muzzle. Really, if she had treated me like that every day, I would practically marry her. Need I remind you she wasn't keen on being with stallions (strange for her age) so I still have a greater chance of getting her. No nitwitty mockery, you jealous puppies. "I should also mention he's a little... cuckoo inside as well. Sorry if he scared you. Bad day." "Yeah..." the stallion said, scratching his head. "I'm... uh... sorry as well, to make you guys... you know," he stopped with a brief cough, before sticking his hoof out with expressions steeled, much to her surprise. "Name's Caramel." "Caramel?" Twilight repeated, stifling a laugh. "As in the 'sweet toffee caramel' Caramel?" "The very same!" "Well, it's a pretty fitting name," she mused with a giggle. "Oh, and my name's Twilight. That there with his strange blue box and little screwdriver--" "Watch your mouth!" "Is my good friend--" "The Doctor! No simple stranger shall know my--" "His name is Turner!" Twilight shouted over my protests. "Time Turner. Ignore what he said." "Good afternoon, morning, whatever," I blabbered only after she nudged my hip, more focused on my TARDIS than this stranger's face. This... Caramel pony, seems a little harmless, but I do admit, I am a little jealous. Just a little. It's hard, knowing your only friend has taken a slight interest in somepony else other than yourself. What can you do? "So, Camel, what do you do around here? Do you make lattes? Brew them? Crush the beans? Come on, spit it out and make it snappy!" "It's Caramel, not Camel." "Same thing," I replied nonchalantly, whipping out a kerchief and scrubbing a few stains of mud off the TARDIS. "And? Profession?" "Uh... I'm working at a nearby town. Farmer." "Really?" My eyes scanned him from head to hoof. A part of myself told me he wasn't just an ordinary farmer, as if his life is more than that. Either he didn't realize it, or he knew about it and was trying to keep it secret from me and Twilight. I know you, my dear reader, would be fumbling over this, but trust me I myself...... I'm not sure how to put this, actually. It's like a Time Stream. Every single pony has their own Time Stream, in which case lists out the most important facts of a pony's life For example, my Time Stream would display all my regeneration stages and companions. His... his was slightly unnatural, and for a mere farmer as well. Every time he comes close by, curiously eyeing at me, it gives me this tingle in the corner of my head and a jolt in both of my hearts. Oh, and I have the need to mention, I do have two hearts. No, Twilight does not know that, just like how she doesn't know I'm alien. Some secrets are best kept silent for now. "How old are you, by the way?" I asked. "About eighteen plus," he answered proudly. "I'll be nineteen in the coming months. Now, if only I remember which month it was..." Both Twilight and I exchanged puzzled stares. How could an average pony, who tills the land and sow the seeds, forget about his coming birthday? Believe me, I've met farmers in my time who went through circumstances better or worse than his, and the one thing they would always be happy about in their youth is their birthdays. If he's turning nineteen this year, that would mean he is as the same age as me and Twilight back in our time (which was in the year 1005 AC, for those who had forgotten). Both of us would've graduated then, and perhaps we could see ourselves wearing those strange tabletop hats in Canterlot! Ah, but that would cause a paradox! If there's one thing a Time Lord could do to shatter a world into nonexistence, it was a time paradox. "Are you alright?" Twilight asked out of concern. "Sorry," came his sheepish reply. "I do have a tendency to forget things. My father used to call me a clumsy minded fellow, even though I was trying my best to remember all the things I have to take. Like this morning, I woke up, heading off to work and suddenly remembered that I've forgotten... forgotten... for Celestia's sake, I've forgotten what I've forgotten!" "Oh, boy..." was all I could say, my eyes glancing at his flank. For his Cutie Mark, not for anything else. Yes, for nothing else except his Cutie Mark. A stallion's flank is nothing worth eyeing upon. Of his Cutie Mark, it represented three little horseshoes, and no, I don't believe his talent isn't making three horseshoes per day. You should understand where I am heading at by now. Simply put, his talent is in forgetting things. How lucky of you, Caramel. "Great," I muttered, loud enough for only myself and Twilight to hear. "First pony we meet just have to be some forgetful, clumsy colt." "Turner," Twilight hissed, glaring at me. "You're lucky he's a friendly colt. Not like those ambassadors you said would be safe to talk to!" "Um... hello?" Caramel interrupted before I could come up with a perfect response. "You guys still haven't told me how you... blasted out from the sky and..." "Long story," I answered, whirling back to Twilight. "Now, Miss Sparkle, we best be off! Canterlot awaits us! And your mentor, of course." "Wait, what? Sparkle?" Both of us turned back to the utterly surprised Caramel, his gaze cast upon my companion. Even I was a little astounded to find my companion's eyes widened, as if she wanted to back away but knew that she couldn't. I never knew what he was so excited about and what Twilight was afraid of; a forbidden knowledge never bestowed to me, of all ponies. Me, the Time Lord who knew everything! "You're the Twilight Sparkle?" Caramel asked, with an interested spark in his eyes. "Y-Yes..." "Hold it, hold it!" I cut in, trampling in between their stares. "Whatever is the matter, Twilight?" "Didn't she say she was your friend?" I nodded blankly at the colt's odd question. Of course she was my friend; in fact, we've been friends for the last year now! Even though we've only traveled by TARDIS a total of five times together -- this one included -- we shared a bond more than her being just a mere companion. She was a friend worth depending on. Caramel, however, just slanted his head. It was almost as if he was dumbstruck by this secret of hers? Is it her dances with the doll? Her obsession with both ancient and modern literature, be it fictional or none? Is it her magical mix up back at that Unicorn school she told me about, or that she had an alicorn as a babysitter? Oh, I know it all, alright. The latter must be the most intriguing fact about her yet! "You really don't know, Turner?" he asked again, to which I just shook my head. "That mare you're with... that's Twilight Sparkle! You must've heard about her talent in magic--" "One of the best in Equestria. Of course I did," I replied. "And? What about it?" "She's the faithful student of the Princess! The one and only Twilight Sparkle herself!" . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Secrets that were kept... Even from me... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Her only friend... . . . . . How does the world know it, yet I was too blind to see it? She told me she had a mentor. She never told me it was the ruler of Equestria. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Turner... . . . . . You blind fool... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Twilight Sparkle... . . . . . You liar... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . "She's the faithful student of the Princess! The one and only Twilight Sparkle herself!" Twilight just quietly turned to me, standing right there in silence, my mind running through that fateful sentence over and over and over. All the thoughts of having her more than a friend even crumbled immediately and yet... I can't hate her for it. Then again, the secret she kept was too revealing for me. Being the ruler of Equestria, Princess Celestia was what you would call the life or death button for me. If she knew about my origins -- summarized: I'm a total alien -- that would mean trouble, for me and her. Considering that Twilight was her private student, who would've known what she could've told the Princess all that time we were friends? "I..." she tried to speak. "Turner, I'm... I'm so...... if you could..." "Come with me," I replied solemnly, glaring at her, even more so at Caramel, all the while opening the door into the TARDIS. "We have to talk." . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . If... if he weren't there... None of this would happen... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Twilight Sparkle... The mare who lived thirty-four feet across my window...? . . . . . Or... The student of Princess Celestia...? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . No. I knew quite well who she is. Oh, yes I know. . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Or do I? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Twilight Sparkle... . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . Who are you? . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . .