//------------------------------// // 16: Gametime with Luna. // Story: Honor the Dead // by BinaryTroll //------------------------------// Honor the Dead by BinaryTroll Pre-read by nobody ever reads this section. Chapter 16: “Gametime with Luna.” -------------- I reopened my eyes to find myself standing on my hind legs, and holding some sort of gun in my hands. Wait, I don't have hands. I blinked and looked down at my body. I was male for a start. Secondly, I was human. Thirdly, I felt AMAZING! I tested out my new limbs and found that I already knew how to use hands. I found a short, stubby pistol in my pocket and the metal club. My clothing had to be magic, because there was no way I could fit that thing in my pocket. As I did this, some blue bars materialized in front of me. I shook my head, trying to rid myself of the rectangles, but they followed me wherever I looked. I stopped and studied them. On the bottom left of my vision was a picture of the scout, who it seems I now am, along with the number 100. In the middle a white dot appeared, along with a pair of brackets. On the top was a blue box with “745...” written in it. Bottom left had another blue box along with a large 6 and a smaller 50. I opened up the gun in my hands. It appeared to hold six shots. I found a bunch of shells in my left pocket. If I had to guess, fifty. I pulled out the pistol again and the numbers changed. I reached into my pocket and found that the shells were replaced by clips. I pulled out the bat and the numbers disappeared all together. “Interesting.” I jumped out of the little gutter I was in in and looked around the room. There were three rectangles to my right, one blue, one red and one white. They were labeled 'castle wall', 'castle wall 2', and 'skydiving' respectively. To my left was another blue one labeled 'idlers', and a yellow one labeled 'private rooms'. Other signs coated the walls. They appeared to be rules. I HAVE NO NEED FOR RULES! I AM THE PRINCESS OF THE NIGHT! “Sup Lulu?” A familiar voice asked from behind me. The man with the large hat and sunglasses stepped up beside me, brandishing an absurdly long knife. “Edward?” I asked. “Fuck yeah. Follow me.” The man ran through a opening in front of us and turned left. “Wait... How do I walk?” I called after him. “Just will yourself forward.” I could somehow still hear him as though he was right next to me. I tried it and found myself flying forward, my legs seemingly working of their own accord. I turned left and then left again, and found myself outside. A glass wall ran to my left and blocked my path forward. It was pretty low, maybe I could climb up. I jumped and ended up sailing through the air as though I was on the moon again. “Oh look, you've found out how to jump.” Edward said, falling down beside me. “Where did you come from?” I asked, looking up. “Skydiving. There's a jump pad over there.” He said, pulling out his rifle and firing a shot at a white tile that looked out of place on the cobblestone ground. “You could have just pointed.” “Actually, no. I couldn't have. You try.” I tried, but I couldn't take my hands off the gun. “What sort of twisted magic is this?” “The magic of video games. NOW LETS KILL SOME PEOPLE!” The human shouted, jumping over the glass wall and running into what looked like... “Why are there fifty cakes just sitting on the ground over there?” I asked, easily catching up to Edward with my insane running speed. “Who cares?” Edward ran right through them and they disappeared. “But-” “Just shut up and don't question it.” “Okay.” I was starting to feel very concerned for this human's mental health. CRACK My vision suddenly changed to focus on a sniper, this one was dressed in red. He waved at me and said “thanks for standing still wanker.” I found myself back in the room that I had originally spawned in. “What just happened?” “You died.” “Then how am I back here?” “Respawn. Ohh shi-” The human popped into existence beside me. “Hi.” “Wankers.” He muttered, jumping into the rectangle labeled castle wall 1 and disappearing. I didn't question it and just follow Edward. It was his mind after all. Although this is by far one of the weirdest dreams I have ever been in. I decided to try out skydiving. Maybe I'll be able to get a better look of what I'm up against. So I ran through the white portal and found myself a long way up in the air. Looking down on the map, I could see a castle, the walls blocking out seemingly endless sky. There were three buildings, Heavy Boxing down the bottom (whatever that is), a two story house in the top left and a square building that connected to the bridge that ran over the cakes. A tower was set upon the wall in the top right as well. A roofed area covered a small patch the left wall. The humans fought down all through the castle, bullets, rockets and other projectiles flying all over the place. I spotted a red sniper. “Well, I think you and I have a little score to settle.” I said, and jumped off the skydiving platform. I floated down towards the sniper and pulled out the shotgun thing. “HAVE AT THEE!” I fired, spraying bullets in a wide cone. '-108' came up in bold red text above the sniper's head. Two more shots and he was down. Each time more of the red numbers showed up. A blue sniper strolled up and looked down at the body. “Shit Luna. You owned him.” I felt myself grin. “Let's kill some more people. I thought spider toss was fun, but this...” I ran off without finishing. It's about time I had some fun. “HAHA!” I smacked a soldier in the face with my club. “WE CANNOT BE DEFETED!” “Calm down Lulu. You shouting doesn't- OH SHIT SPY!- help.” The human sighed. “God damn it. That's it, I'M GOING FUCKING SCOUT ON YO ASS! Oh, and we need some badass music.” A white window labeled iTunes popped up and a rather dark sounding song started playing. The box disappeared a moment later. “What is the purpose of this?” I asked, wondering where the human had heard this... unique music. “Badassery, what else? WOOOOOOOOO!” A blue scout jumped over my head. “Lets kill some bitches!” The scout pulled out a quadruple barreled pistol and proceeded to jump away again, firing at another red scout. I followed him. “Where did you get that?” I asked, firing my pistol over his head at a dark skinned human with an eye-patch. “Oh right. I'll trade you a few items in a sec. Just lemme-” A laser sliced through his head. “BALLS!” I spun around and fired the pistol at the red sniper who had killed him. Another red laser blasted through my body and I dropped. Once again my vision zoomed towards the man who had killed me. I re-spawned inside the white room again. “So, how do I get that pistol?” I asked Edward, who standing still. “Here, accept the trade.” A black box popped up to my right that said 'BinaryTroll requests a trade. Accept?' I accepted it and found my vision being replaced by a large gray box. A huge list of items showed up, mostly guns or weapons of some kind. “Alright, just press the accept button and we can continue.” I pressed it. A picture of the quadruple barreled pistol fill my vision. It was called the shortstop and seemed to be part of a set. I ignored that and pressed the open loadout button. A picture of me as a scout popped up, along with a few more gray boxes. I pressed the one that held the scattergun/shotgun thing and selected the shortstop. I then replaced my pistol with a soda called 'Bonk Atomic Punch'. I finally selected the Atomizer for my bat. I pressed the back button and then 'resume game'. I was back, now holding the shortstop in my hands. I jumped out of the ditch again, but this time I jumped twice more, still in midair. “How am I doing this?” “Just go with it.” Edward was back in the body of a sniper. He ran through the blue portal, muttering something that sounded like “Bloody bogans.” I ran outside, double jumped my way up onto the castle wall and sprinted towards the tower. I heard a shot fire from above me and I ran inside the tower, climbing up the stairs in seconds. I found the red sniper at the top, staring down his scope. I crept up behind him and held the shortstop to his head. I pulled the trigger and splattered his brains all over the wall. “Nobody crosses the princess of the night.” I muttered, spinning the pistol. From my vantage point I planned my next move. A blue sniper ran around with a huge knife, butchering anyone who came close. A red medic was healing a heavy who appeared to be on fire. A blue pyro lay dead on the ground nearby. I jumped out the window and double-jumped as I began to fall. I used the third jump to land directly on the medic's head. “WHY HELLO DEAR SUBJECT!” I smashed the bat into the medic's face. “HOW ARE YOU THIS FINE DAY?” A second hit with the bat broke the medic's skull. “APPARENTLY NOT TOO WELL!” The heavy started to turn towards me. I pulled out the can of atomic punch and sculled it. I guess it's time to see if this drink works. I felt a huge surge of adrenaline hit, making my heart rate spike. I looked down at my shuddering body. There's no way I'd be able to hold something shaking this much. What's the point of this drink? The heavy opened fire and I waited for the bullets to impact, I'll just resurrect anyway. But somehow every shot missed by less than a hoof. Not one hit me, even though at least half of them should, and that was when I saw the point of the drink. I was vibrating so much that it created a small magical force field that deflected any projectiles. The humans probably didn't even realize it. Once again, they are full of surprises. Using my new-found bullet-blocking power, I dodged around the heavy, keeping him occupied for- “THANKS FOR STANDIN' STILL, WANKER!” The heavy dropped, a laser catching him directly in the temple. Random chunks of his head splattered across the ground. My body stopped shaking and I looked up in the direction of the shot. Sure enough, Edward stood there, waving at me. He grinned and said “We make good team.” I smiled back. “Thank you.” “Now, do you want to try out some of the other classes? I got a ton of spare-” Once again, Edward was cut off by a laser blowing his brains out. Edward teleported to my side an instant later, back in his usual blue-haired form. He did not look happy. “I swear, if this happens one more time, I'll-” Another crack and Edward's corpse went flying once more. The dream started to shake, parts of it unraveling and showing the white empty space beneath. The blue spawn area collapsed entirely, sucking in and destroying other small objects. At the center of the tempest Edward floated, sparks of purple and blue electricity arcing through his body. His eyes had become pools of light. He opened his mouth, expelling more light and destroying more of the surrounding area. “FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU-”