//------------------------------// // Episode 22: A Simple Treat // Story: Equestria's Crazies // by Thorax //------------------------------// {Quick Note: Chapter to be fully edited at a later point in time} Deep within Castle Canterlot in a far off corner of its ancient marble halls sat a single room. This room was one of the best kept secrets within the castle, known only to a select few and remembered by none but its master. This room, was Celestia's private kitchen and in its confines sat a lone tray a top a grand counter. "Gah!" snarled a small creature as it fruitlessly continued to leap atop the counter, its small stature leaving it a long way from victory This small creature was Nibbles, the hybrid spawn of darkness and lies, and he wanted cookies. Sure he didn't know what Cookies were, but that could be said for half the things he had eaten so far. He had followed the scent of this new found food through the shadows of the castle and his prize lay only a few feet above. "Rahh!" Nibbles hissed as he once again jumped. In his relatively short time in this world, his mind had already reached the same level of a small child, sadly his speech capabilities were trailing behind. The gears within his mind slowly began to spin as he tried to find a new solution to the problem before him. His solid blue eyes slowly scanned the room for any objects that might allow him to reach the top of the table. After several seconds he decided the large chair would be an excellent way to reach his prize. With great effort the small hybrid managed to push the much larger chair, close enough to reach the table and claim his next meal. Nibbles slowly scanned the small circles spread out across the tray. With a flick of his tongue he tested the food in front of him. "There you!" Came the voice of Sombra from behind the hybrid, causing him to hiss in fear as he bared his fangs. "Stop that Nibbles" Sombra said sternly as he picked the hybrid up with magic and carefully lowered him onto his back. "Cookies not yours." "arg?" whined Nibbles as he latched onto the cookie he had already grabbed in hopes that it wouldn't be taken from him. "You have one cookie" Sombra answered as he began to trot out of the room. The grey Unicorn remained oblivious as several shadow emerged from beneath Nibbles's shell as he attempted to grab as many cookies as he could. For once, evil had been victorious, deliciously victorious. 15 Minutes later The only Draconequus in existence silently made his way through the castle, his target known to himself and one other, Flambé, the castle head chef and possibly a trained assassin. Discord wasn't sure about that last part, but Flambé's accuracy with a knife was too good to not be professional. So far Discord had been sent back to the Abyss several times by the hooves of this lone pony. He wasn't sure if the rooms were true, but it was commonly said amongst some of the other staff that after stopping one of Discord's pantry assaults. Flambé used the dead gods body as the first course in a meal prepared for several dragon ambassadors. I wonder what I taste like the lord of chaos silently asked himself as he made his final approach on his long time target, the kitchen. Slowly and cautiously Discord pressed his ear on the door and silently listened, hoping that if anyone lay in wait, the slightest noise would give them away. After several seconds of paranoid listening, he was ninety percent sure that either nobody was waiting inside, or he was already dead. "Hello?" the nervous god cautiously asked as he slowly began to open the door. Thanks to some form of luck, nobody was there to kill him, even better he hadn't even been hit today. Very quickly and quietly Discord made his way over to the fridge, his normal target the pantry was most likely the trapped option. However the fridge was also a likely source of his death, but he was hungry and hunger outweighed possible death. With a quick and extremely nervous swing of the door, Discord was even more shocked by what he saw, not his death, not even food, just a note. "What?" Discord whispered to himself as he nervously plucked the note from the fridge and began to read. Dear Discord Run Love Flambé Discord chuckled to himself, it he knew it had to be some form of trick. Flambé was good, but he wasn't invisible, there was no way he could have hidden from a god. Sadly though, he knew the food would have been moved to another secure location. "Should have run" came a voice from behind Discord ran The knives flew "You're insane!" shouted the god of chaos as he continued to flee through the castle halls. Flambé had stopped throwing the sharp things in favor of the blunt objects. "You've stolen my food for the last time, you filthy lizard." Discord ducked once again as another vase flew between his horns. This day was quickly turning into the same horrible experience, ponies trying to harm him with several objects, no real food in his belly and running through the castle. Know he found himself wishing for something he never thought he'd want a quiet meal and ponies not trying to murder him. Then a smile spread across his face "Hey Flambé, guess what I just remembered!" "What!" growled the chef as hurled a guard’s helmet "I'm the god of chaos" with a snap of his talons, Discord was gone and in his place a rain of confetti filled the air. "Next time Discord, Next time!" Flambé growled as he slammed a hoof on the ground. Somewhere else in the Castle Discord blinked back into existence and with a sudden thud slammed into a wall. Just to add to his torment the god found his horns lodged in the wall. "Really?" The god stated flatly as snapped his talons and with another flash he was a safe distance from the wall. However, he quickly found that he had no recollection of this part of the castle. The long stone hall was completely unlit, with no signs of life to be seen, all except a lone shaft of light shining from a single door. For the second time today, Discord quickly and carefully made his way towards the door, peaking through the door in hopes that this time nobody would waiting for him. However, instead of someone waiting for him, he was greeted by something even more stunning, a kitchen, he had never seen before. "Why hello there" The god of chaos stated happily as he entered the room. The kitchen seemed real, he was about sixty percent certain it wasn't a figment of his deranged imagination and if it was, maybe he was even more twisted then he had thought and then he saw, a single tray sitting atop the table and a lone cookie within. "Looks like this is my lucky day" the Draconequus stated in delight as he slowly took a bite from the cookie and in a flash of light he wished Flambé had gotten him. "Hewo Cewestia" Discord nervously mumbled as he slowly chewed on the cookie Celestia didn't say a thing, her gaze just continued to shift back and forth between Discord and the empty tray. The expression on her face growing more hateful as her gaze shifted back and forth. "D-di-did you" stuttered the Sun Goddess as she tried to control her anger "Now hwold won a minwt" Discord continued to mumbled as he tried to finish the cookie "thwis is what it wooks liwk" Discord watched in horror as a golden glow began to wrap around the cookie tray, he didn't know what Celestia was planning to do, but he had a rough idea. "I can deal with you raiding the main kitchen, but this is my private area Discord and you ate all my cookies, that means you're now in the number one position of creatures I want to throttle" "bwt I didn't dwo dis" Discord continued mumble now wondering why eating one cookie was taking this long. And then the beating began. Discord threw his arms in the air in his feeble attempt to stop the oncoming cookie tray, however Celestia fury was much greater than his fear and she fought in the name of her lost cookies. Celestia continued to beat on the Chaos god as he did his best to plead his case, but she knew it was most likely another one of his tricks to try and save his scaly hide. "This is for my cookies" Celestia shouted as her mane burst into flames, and with one final swing and an echoing thud Discord was defeated and her cookies were avenged. "Maybe I should make Brownies" Celestia spoke aloud to herself as she casually dropped the tray on Discords head, before moving over to recipe book. [Meanwhile beyond the Castle walls] Two mares stood outside a coffee shop, a green coated Pegasus and a black as night unicorn. The reason for their journey to palace of sweets was known only to the Pegasus. "Chrysalis, why did you drag me along?" groaned the disguised Nightmare "You promised the best meal I could ever want." "and that's what you're about to receive, Joe makes the finest rings of dough, I have ever had the pleasure of eating." "You mean Donuts?" Nightmare asked flatly Chrysalis nodded as she made her way into shop "Yes, the rings of dough created by Joe are the finest "Donuts" I have ever had." Nightmare gave a defeated sigh, knowing now that her meal was little more than a simple treat. Though there was one small joy to be found, she had feared Chrysalis would try to feed her a "Changeling delicacy" like last time. The disguised goddess shuddered at the thought as she tried to force it out of her mind. The two disguised mares casually made their way up to the main counter, as an orange stallion exited from the back room, several large boxes held aloft by a faint orange glow. After several seconds the stallion finished placing the boxes in their respective displays, lifting the lid to reveal the freshly baked treats within. That's when he noticed his two latest guests. "Long time no see Chrysa-" Joe paused as he released the second mare was completely new to his shop. "Crystal" he said with a forced cough "Long time no see Crystal" "Greetings Joe, I have returned for your rings of dough and have brought a long a guest." The disguised Chrysalis backed up a little bit as she attempted to introduce her friend. "Nightmare, this is Joe, the finest baker to walk the surface. Joe, this is Nightmare the angriest mare to walk the surface." "Hey!" Nightmare snapped as her gaze finally shifted from the baked treasures that sat behind the glass, mocking her far beyond her reach. "I'm not angry, I just misunderstood." she finished as she pressed her muzzle once again onto the glass her eyes shifting back and forth between the pastries. Joe's expression quickly shifted to a more relieved one. Which was strange, seeing as that was usually the reverse whenever someone realized Nightmare Moon had come to visit. "Well, glad to meet you Ms. Moon, I was beginning to worry that you would never grace my humble coffee shop with your presence." "Huh?" Nightmare asked as she once again removed her hungry gaze from the pastries "You've been waiting for me?" Joe gave a small laugh "Celestia has always been a common customer here, when her sister returned they started coming her together, then when Discord broke free, this was his first stop before his attempted takeover of Canterlot and Chrysali-| Joe was cut off as Chrysalis forced a cough "Maybe I should tell her how I ended up here, later on." "That's probably for the best" Joe finished with another laugh "Either way; the shop is open to anyone in Equestria from Manticores to Immortal beings" "Wait, wait, wait" Nightmare repeated "You have Manticores as customers?" "Only on Tuesdays and Fridays, that's when they make their trips from the Everfree Forest." "Well then, I wasn't even aware Manticores had money to spend." Nightmare stated as she thought back to all those Manticores she had used in her traps, beginning to wonder if any of them had known she was using them. "They don't" Joe chuckled "They do however have a rather large stash of treasure." the baker finished as he raised a rather large diamond from behind the counter. ''This gem here will keep me in business for the next ten years. But enough chit-chat, I'm sure you two are both itching for a snack," "You know I'd walk through the unending catacombs for your rings of dough." Chrysalis spoke as she stared into the glass, "I'll take nine of everything" Nightmare stated flatly as summoned a large stack of bits. "Okay then" Joe chuckled as he lifted the counter gate, allowing the mares to pass through. "Head on downstairs, your usual booth is waiting." Chrysalis casually made her way through the gate and the door behind it, closely followed by Nightmare, who at this moment wasn't sure what she should suspect. Though, she still maintained some hope that she would have at least some semblance of a meal, or those hundreds of pastries she had wanted to purchase moments ago. The passageway continued on for several minutes as the two mares slowly trotted through the now downward winding halls. Chrysalis maintained the same determined expression, whereas Nightmare began to take on a slightly worried look and as she was about to bring herself to state her concerns, the passage began to open up as two elegant red doors came into view. Chrysalis casually pressed through as Nightmare kept close behind, expecting the worst. However what she saw was nothing like she had expected. The pathway had led down to what appeared to be a hidden dinner. In appearance it matched the one above, but on a much grander scale. Then Nightmare noticed the customers, instead of the scattered ponies she had seen before, the customers down here were much more varied. On one end of the dinner Nightmare could make out what appeared to be a group of Diamond dogs eating and laughing amongst themselves. Next to them sat two rather large Dragons in what appeared to be a booth built for them. How they managed to get down there, Nightmare would never know. Only a few feet from them, Nightmare saw a group of Griffins and several ponies chatting with each other as they appeared to go over several scrolls and notes. Many of the other booths were filled as well with mixtures of Ponies, young dragons and other sentient creatures from across Equestria; Nightmare hadn't seen a gathering of species like this before. Sure Canterlot had its share of Griffins, but Diamond Dogs were quite the rare sight, let alone chatting amongst ponies as friends. "You coming?" Chrysalis asked from her booth a few feet off, with a pillar of green flame her disguise quickly dropped. Nightmare quickly followed as she dropped her own disguise and joined the Changeling Queen at her table. "This is incredible" the stunned Alicorn stated as she once again surveyed the tables, taking in all the different creatures that had gathered in this one place, hidden away from the rest of Canterlot. "If you think this is incredible, from what Joe says, his grandfather hired both Diamond Dogs, and Changelings from outside of the Hive to dig the tunnel and help him build this place." The Queen answered as she took her time to once again take in the sight of the crowed "Sadly you won't find any gatherings like this elsewhere in Canterlot." Nightmare was about to ask the question that had been plaguing her mind for quite some time, but was cut off as a flash of magic conjured a large box in the center of the table, the lid opening on its own to reveal the mixture of pastries that lay within. For the next two minutes the Alicorn of Darkness and the Changeling Queen devoured the assorted pastries that sat within the box. "That was possibly better than eternal night." groaned the completely stuffed mare as she sat back in her chair. "I promised you a grand feast didn't I?" Chrysalis stated smugly as she proceeded to lick the remaining sprinkles from her mouth. "So, I've been meaning to ask Chrysalis, How did you find this place?" The Changeling Queen gave an awkward chuckle "Well you see, I was brought here on a date." Nightmare raised an eyebrow "You're telling me you went on a date and that pony brought you to a Donutshop? Who was it?" "My husband" came a slightly agitated voice from behind Nightmare. When the mare of darkness finished turning to face the new voice, she was even more surprised. Sitting in the booth behind her was non-other than Princess Mi Amore Cadenza and her husband Shining Armor. "Oh hello Cadance" Chrysalis said with a nervous wave, having just herself noticed the two familiar faces that had most likely been sitting merely feet away the entire time. "What brings you to this fine establishment?" "Well my husband here thought it would be a good idea to take me here on a date. Imagine my surprise when the owner seemed to remember me as a customer, even though I had never been here before." Cadance shifted her gaze towards her husband who was now trying to make himself as small as possible. "Hello" he barely mumbled as he waved. "Oooh" Nightmare said with great joy "a meal and show"