//------------------------------// // A lot of Meanwhiles and Important Plot Points // Story: Wake up. See this. What do? - Part 2: Raise the Flag (comment driven story) // by RazortheAwesome //------------------------------// -Meanwhile, on board the Dalek Flagship the Caesar- The Orz Marines have entered their allies' various ships and are... assisting in the mechanical maintenance. Despite piloting around somewhat large mecha to get about, they can not only fit in the halls but also appear to be very good at taking orders and completing them and there doesn't seem to be any sort of sabotage at all. A few other Orz Marines appear to pick up the dead manticore, but when Zecoraq sees through their faceplate she bows in terror and won't rise until they've left. "Many slides! *Sideways*, *Above*, *Below*, it is all playground! There will be much *dancing* and *Special Sauce* with the *Happy campers* and the *Cows*. We are waiting for the *dance* so we can help the *Silly Cows* into the *ranch*, but *rustlers* want them in their *ranch*. That is *Furgle*. This place *smells* so many colors!" *Daleks detect presences leaving the Orz ships.* Dalek 1: Incoming transmission from the Orz fleet. Antares: Patch it through. Orz: "Many slides! *Sideways*, *Above*, *Below*, it is all playground! There will be much *dancing* and *Special Sauce* with the *Happy campers* and the *Cows*. We are waiting for the *dance* so we can help the *Silly Cows* into the *ranch*, but *rustlers* want them in their *ranch*. That is *Furgle*. This place *smells* so many colors!" Hacker 1: What the hell did he just say? Dalek 1: They wish to establish friendly relations with us and will assist us in combat once the fighting begins. Hacker 1: How... did you understand any of that? Dalek 1: However, they wish to board our ships and assist with repairs and maintenance. Antares: Inform them that we will accept friendly relations with them, but we do not want them on board any of our ships unless the commander or I allow it. Hacker 1: What about the Enterprise? Antares: They are their own crew. They will decide for themselves if they want them on board their ship. *turns back to the dalek at the controls.* Inform them that if they try to board our ships without permission we will be forced to open fire on them. We will want peaceful relations with them but unless we allow it we do not want them on board our ships. Dalek 1: I obey. *meanwhile on the Dalek ship orbiting Equestria) A random Dalek announces: I'm am detecting an unknown communication! Listening in now. A screen showing a dark hooded figure in a chair with space in the background. ??????: The Time has come! hmhmhmhm. -Connection to Dalek fleet (not the ones orbiting Equestria) complete- *A Dalek appears on screen* ??????: Hello Daleks Dalek: Identify yourself ??????: My name cannot be pronounced in any language except my own. But you can call me Somepony1. Dalek: How you got this signal? EXPLAIN!? EXPLAIN!? Somepony1: I have my resources. Which I'm not going to disclose right now. Dalek: YOU WILL EXPLAIN TO US ON HOW YOU GOT DALEK SIGN? Somepony1: I have information for you, important information. Dalek: WHAT DOES THIS INFORMATION ENTAIL? Somepony1 (smiles): Your friendly Daleks also know to you as the Traitors... Dalek: YOU HAVE INFORMATION ON THE TRAITORS? Somepony1: and the Doctor. Dalek: THE DOCTOR!??? Somepony1: Yes. Dalek: WHAT KIND OF INFORMATION DO YOU HAVE ON THE DOCTOR AND THE TRAITORS??? Somepony1: I know there locations. Dalek: DISCLOSE THIS INFORMATION. Somepony1: I can tell you that they're close to each other but if you want the location you have to listen to some demands. Dalek:......... What are your demands? Somepony1: I demand that only one Dalek ship is sent and if you find any other ship besides the friendly Daleks or The Doctors in the region under no circumstance are you to attack. Those ships are for me to destroy! Do you agree to these terms? Dalek:..................................................... We.......... Agree your demands only one Dalek ship is sent and only attack the Traitors and the Doctor. Somepony1: Good. I'm sending the coordinates now. *coordinates to Equestria successfully sent* Dalek: Prepare to travel to the coordinates sent to the Dalek ship and to EXTERMINATE THE TRAITORS AND THE DOCTOR. Other Dalek: I OBAY. Dalek: we will arrive in one or two chapters. Terminate this transmission. *Link cuts off* Somepony1: well you heard them friendly Daleks you have one or two chapters to prepare for this upcoming battle. hmhmhmhm hahahahaha HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAH. Somepony1 (chair turns around): now tell me my faithful henchman have you ever heard the term dancing with the dev- GOD DAMN IT! THERE NO ONE HERE. WHY IS THAT!? UM... EVIL HENCHMAN WANTED! Qualification: Being Evil (and a familiar and is ok with commenting as my henchman) Job: Doing Evil things Race: any (but Daleks) Happen if you get fired: ([url=http: //youtu.be/YBOSwh-1PJI?t=45s]you failed me for the last time) or tried to betray me you will meet sharks with a laser... Ok I was informed we didn't have that but we are mutated Sea bass Goal: To conquer the world (Just send me a message if you are interested) Computer: there were way too many puns in that ad... Somepony1: I can't help it. It's in our races nature to make puns after all we are the PUN RACE. Computer: geez Somepony1 what do you want to do tonight. Somepony1: the same thing we do ever night computer, try to take over a world. (yes I'm calling my last comment that you will use no matter what now) Dalek 2: Receiving second transmission. Unknown source. Listening in now. *A screen showing a dark hooded figure in a chair with space in the background shows up on the screen.* Hacker 1: What the hell? ??????: The Time has come! hmhmhmhm. *The image on screen is replaced with an image of a dalek.* Antares: ANOTHER DALEK! Hacker 1: No, it's just an image. ??????: Hello Daleks. Antares: Identify yourself. ??????: My name cannot be pronounced in any language except my own. But you can call me Somepony1. Hacker 1: You have got to be kidding me. Antares: How you got this signal? EXPLAIN!? EXPLAIN!? Somepony1: I have my resources. Which I'm not going to disclose right now. Antares: You will explain to us how you got the dalek signal! Somepony1: I have information for you, important information. Antares: What does this information entail? Somepony1 *smiles*: Your friendly Daleks also know to you as the Traitors... Dalek: You have information on the traitors? Somepony1: and the Doctor. Dalek: THE DOCTOR!?!?!? Somepony1: Yes. Dalek: What kind of information do you have on The Doctor and the traitors? Somepony1: I know their locations. Dalek: Disclose this information! Somepony1: I can tell you that they're close to each other but if you want the location you have to listen to some demands. Dalek:......... What are your demands? Somepony1: I demand that only one Dalek ship is sent and if you find any other ship besides the friendly Daleks or The Doctors in the region. Under no circumstance are you to attack. Those ships are for me to destroy! Do you agree to these terms? Dalek:..................................................... We.......... Agree your demands only one Dalek ship is sent and only attack the Traitors and the Doctor. Somepony1: Good. I'm sending the coordinates now. *coordinates to Equestria successfully sent* Somepony1: Thank you for your time. Bye bye. *Screen goes blank* Dalek: Prepare to travel to the coordinates sent to the Dalek ship and to EXTERMINATE THE TRAITORS AND THE DOCTOR- Hacker 1: NO, DON'T!!! Don't give that order! Antares: *turns to him* Explain! Hacker 1: It's a trick. I know this guy. He's no alien, he's another hacker with a huge grudge against the Daleks. Antares: Why does he- Hacker 1: You guys don't exactly have the best track record when it comes to other species. If anything, I'd hazard a guess that he wants The Doctor to destroy you guys. Antares: *silent for a few moments.* What would you propose we do? Hacker 1: Inform Swimming Dalek of this... Say, where is he anyway? Antares: He and one of your other hackers went to see Registered Anonymous. Hacker 1: Great. Well, don't do anything at all unless he says so. Still.... *walks over to one of the computer terminals, looks over the coordinates* These lead directly to Ponyville... Are there any other daleks on the planet? Antares: No. No dalek has ever been to this universe. Hacker 1: Yeah, that's what I thought, and The Doctor wouldn't be here cause another human would stick out like *stops, suddenly realizes something.* Unless...... Antares: Explain! Hacker 1: Nana. Nana: What is it? Hacker 1: Contact the AIA. -Meanwhile, somewhere in Appaloosa- Nana: Director, the Daleks are performing a test on R.A. If you are interested, you could view it. The Hackers here and I can take it from here. GR: Ah! Finally some bit of action. What is the test exactly? Nana: No pony is sure yet, Director, except it involved all the daleks onboard the Caeser. Whatever it is, it is meant to analyze R.A's capabilities... GR: I see... Nana, also send the video coordinates of whichever part of the ship they are partaking the test in to our big-glass-screened computer. Horse apples the ship is big... The lab ponies and operatives down here might be interested in R.A's development as well... Nana: Yes, Sir. GR (at the computer, mumbling with a serious face on the video chat): Great. *Click. clicklick* Oh, looks like he's pointing a metal stick at... Is that armor made of what I think it is...? Hacker: For a pony, he's quite a pretty cool guy. Nana: Yes, but he is also a hoof full to deal with. The lab ponies and a few others there seem to agree. The operatives on the other hoof... *At headquarters* Operative: Light the fusses, pardner~! Lab-Pony: No! Don't put too much pressure on th– *BOOM* Operative: Yooowee~ Cattlebuskits broke mah barn, I love mah job! *Back at the ship* Nana: Yeah... Since the Appaloosa Intelligence was established recently, It'll take some time to get the workers disciplined. Especially when most of them are cowponies and farmers... Hacker: Whatever organization Equestria is running, I'm going to work there some day if it is that awesome! Nana: Figures... Nana: Director, the Daleks are performing some kind of test on Registered Anonymous. If you are interested, you could view it. The Hackers here and I can take it from here. Grey Rebl: Ah! Finally a bit of action. What is the test exactly? Nana: No pony is sure yet, Director, except it involved all the daleks onboard the Caeser. Whatever it is, it is meant to analyze R.A's capabilities... GR: I see... Nana, also send the video coordinates of whichever part of the ship they are partaking the test in to our big-glass-screened computer. *shows video* Horse apples the ship is big. The lab ponies and operatives down here might be interested in R.A's development as well. Nana: Yes, Sir.... Sir, incoming transmission from the bridge of the Caesar. GR: *sigh, I guess the action will have to wait, put it on screen. *Hacker 1 appears on screen with several daleks around him.* Hacker 1: Grey. GR: Yes, that's me, what is it? Hacker 1: We need you and your organization to do something for us. GR: FINALLY! We've been sitting here for ages with nothing to do. Tell me, what us to do. If you need us to blow stuff up, I tell ya there's- Hacker 1: We need you to send an agent of yours... or more if you can, to Ponyville to find some pony for us. GR: *silent...* Really.... Hacker 1: Really. GR: That's it? Hacker 1: Yep. GR: *sigh* All right, I suppose we could spare an agent or two? But can I at least still watch RA get the crap kicked out of him... if that is what's gonna happen? Hacker 1: *sigh.* Sure. GR: Great! Now, who is this pony? Hacker 1: He's called The Doctor. GR: Doctor huh, nice name. Now how will we know this pony when we see him? Hacker 1: I..... I actually have no idea. GR: What do you mean you have no idea? Hacker 1: *sigh* This is going to take a long time to explain. -Meanwhile, somewhere else on The Caesar- R.A.: Soooooo.... what's this test you are going to be giving me S.D.? ......Hey I just noticed something funny! If I put a T in-between your S and D initials for your name it actually spells out into S.T.- Hacker: NO DON'T DO IT R.A. JUST LISTEN TO SWIMMING AND DO THE TEST AND NOTHING ELSE! R.A.: ...........What? *puts on the most innocent face possible... even though he is wearing a mask and no one can see it* Hacker: *face palms* Just-Just explain to R.A. what the test is if you would please Swimming. My sanity depends on it. *Registered Anonymous, Swimming Dalek, another hacker, and two drone Daleks are walking through a hallway* Registered Anonymous: Sooooooooo... what's this test you're going to give me SD? Hey, I just noticed something funny! If I put a T in between your S and D initials, then it spells ST- Hacker 2: FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HERE RA DON'T! JUST LISTEN TO SWIMMING DALEK AND DO THE TEST!!! AND NOTHING ELSE!!! RA: Do what? *puts on the most innocent smile possible, which is pointless since he is wearing a mask* Hacker 2: *face palms* Just... just explain to him what exactly this test is if you would please Swimming. My sanity depends on it. Swimming Dalek: It's all right. I've been called worse things. Hacker 2: I'm not worried about your sanity, I'm worried about mine. SD: *sigh* Well, in any case, you'll find out what the test is in a moment. We- *They all stop in their tracks as they see someone standing there. A six foot even human that looks like this* ???: What's up SD. SD: Who the hell are you and how did you get on my ship? ???: I think you have an idea. I'm just here to tell you that all your efforts to figure out just who the hell I am are going to end up failing since- RA: HEY HEY HEY Who are- ???: RA, stand at attention and be completely silent. *RA does so without any question. Hacker 2: What the fuck... SD: *pulls out pistol and points it right at his head.* Who the hell are- ???: That's completely unnecessary, that gun's not going to fire. SD: Talk or I'll make it fire. ???: All right. Let me put this in a way that you can understand, since you are trying SO HARD to figure it out. SD: I've never even met you. Why would I want to know who you are? ???: Really. Those voice in the back of your head that direction your actions. Not one of them ever wondered just who I was? SD: *stops in shock and lowers his gun* ???: Thought so. Yes, I know about them. You all have them, and the only reason they direct you in any way is cause I allow it. Still, you've been trying to figure out just who the hell I am recently, and since you are such a nice guy I'd thought I'd tell you in a way you can understand. *pauses for a moment. ???: There's really no real way to describe what I am. To you guys, the closest thing would be either the white or the black guardian, to those on the Enterprise, ask them if the name Q rings a bell. It won't but ask them anyway, and to RA. Well, I'm the cat in the vending machine. Basically, in this story. I am god. Pinkie Pie: And I'm his FAVORITE PONY!!! Everyone except the daleks: GAH!!! ???: PINKIE PIE!!! PP: Oop, sorry. ???: It's okay. *starts scratching behind her ears, apparently she likes that* Yeah, since she seems to have near omnipotence in the show I let her indulge a little bit. Although, Pinkie Pie, don't you have somewhere to be right now? Some candy-based weaponry to hand out. PP: Oh right! Masterweaver's last comment! Speaking of which. *punches him in the face with a hoof* THAT'S FOR TROLLING HIS COMMENTS!!! ???: PINKIE WE'VE BEEN OVER THIS I DIDN'T TROLL HIM!!! PP: YES YOU- ???: Whatever, just go. PP: *suddenly happy again* Okay. Bye bye. I'll see you later in the chapter. *suddenly disappears* *??? Looks over to see everyone staring at him with a look of absolute confusion on their faces, except for RA, who is still standing at attention.* ???: Yeah, she does that sometimes. Anyway. I'm just here to clear that up. Now, I really must be going. Oh, and before you ask. No, I won't stop Nyarlathotep. I could, but I'm not going to. It wouldn't be any fun at all for you guys that way if I just did everything. Plus, I wouldn't dream of taking away the satisfaction you all would get when you defeat him yourselves. So yeah... Now that that is done, I really must be off. *turns around and starts to walk away* ???: Oh and by the way, two things. 1.) Somepony1 wants to see your fleet destroyed because he has an intense hatred for Daleks. Don't worry. I support your reformed fleet and I'm not gonna let them get destroyed. Thanks to him he's helped set events in motion that were going to happen at some point. Though, eventually, he's going to have a make a choice. A choice that only he can make cause he's been asking for it since this story began... SD: And the other thing? ???: Oh, another human has just showed up in the Everfree forest and is waiting for contact from you guys. In fact. I wasn't saying that I was going to be V. It was a suggestion for the main story plot. I was going to be in a different position. Anyway description is here. BRP Description: Stealth based human fighter that tends to stick it alone. He is tall, wears matte black armor which is always silent and a helmet with a half face visor. It shows off a chiselled jaw with stubble from two days unshaved. Underneath the armor, he wears a black jumpsuit designed to absorb sounds and smells of the body. Arrived: He was testing a new method of interstellar flight when his ship was impacted by a meteor storm. It was destroyed before entering orbit and he only survived by he managing to get into an escape pod. His pod was designed to break up in the cloud layer and drop the occupant with a parachute and a beacon. The beacon was broken as the pod shattered and he landed on Equestria alone, spending the next few days in contact with no one. Joins group by picking up a transmission between Greyrebl at the AIA and Commander Swimming Dalek on the reformed Dalek ship the Caesar in orbit. He is currently hiding out in the everfree forest, awaiting orders and carving arrows. Equipment: Compound bow (Silent ranged killing method. Can’t penetrate armor without using special arrows.) 100 Carved wooden arrows (easily replaceable. But are fairly brittle and tend to break on removal.) Special arrows (all irreplaceable without technology superior to that of Equestria): 5 explosive arrows( that do what they say on the box. Irretrievable) 10 armor piercing arrows (retrievable but can only be used so many times before breaking) 2 flare arrows (irretrievable fired into the air to illuminate an area or to cause a distraction) 15 tranquilizer arrows (a lighter shaft and tapered needle point that injects enough serum to bring down an elephant without serious injury. Can be retrieved and refilled using herbs from the everfree forest.) Dual knives (silent melee killing method. In passive stealth mode, knife attacks ignore armor because BRP has time to find gaps and use them) Wrist computer: a screen that allows him access to wireless communications, data storage space, topographical mapping by scanner (doesn’t detect life forms), an AI hacking program and Tetris. Perks/Special abilities: Soloist: significantly stealthier when working alone. Delusions of grandeur: Believes he is invincible and gets into problems that are near insoluble. Scout: Is used to moving and fighting in unfamiliar terrain. Short attention span: Tends to revert to other pass times while bored such as watching the vast amounts of anime stored on his wrist computer. Stealthy: Is infrequently detected by sensors, eyes, ears or smell. Overspecialized: excels in stealth combat. However, a bow and knives are not really optimal weapons for overt fighting. British accent: sounds very classy (Even though it is a Manchester accent as opposed to upper class). Increases his awesomeness to near endless bounds. (I actually have one. That’s why it’s added here). Let me know if there is anything that you disapprove of. That's everything you need to know about him. I recommend having the Enterprise crew beam him up to their ship and then transport him here over to the Caesar once you get the chance. As to where you got this information, don't worry, I just had one of your fellow Daleks detect him just now, so they know about him too. They won't bother you about it until after the test is over though, so you don't have to worry about it now. It's up to you whether you want to let him help you or not, but hey, I'm only god in this story. Oh, and don't worry about the Orz. I won't let them destroy you guys either. Anyway, it was nice talking to you. Now, I do believe that you had a test to get to. *walks way and turns down the hall, when they look, he is gone* RA *suddenly unfrozen*: SOOOOOOOO Shall we get going. OOOOh can I bake some cookies afterwards? You all look so tense and the best way to resolve tenseness is by eating some cookies. SD: Right... Anyway! Come on, we're just about there. *A few more moments of walking later, they all enter a large, circular room with a pit in the middle and several daleks surrounding it.* RA: OOh, a PIT. What's it for, are we- *SD shoves RA into the pit, he falls flat on his face.* Hacker 2: What the hell? What was that for. *SD ignore him and drops down into the pit with RA, where he walks around so that he is on the opposite side of the pit from him. RA just gets back up on his feet.* SD: Now *pulls out both his guns* Show me what you can do? RA: Is this a fight! *asks excitedly* SD: Yes, yes it is. RA: YAY!!!!!! -Meanwhile, in Canterlot somewhere- Risen Flag was just walking happily through the streets of Canterlot back towards the palace with Trixie at his side and Joseph Curwen at his other side. "Baby can you dig your man," he sang to himself happily. "Umm, Risen," Trixie hesitantly asked him. "Yes," Risen replied to her in that same, sweet way he always did. "If... if you don't mind me asking. What exactly is that song you're singing?" she asked him. "Oh this," Risen said to her. "It's just something I heard a long time ago. You see I-" Right before he could say another word to explain it though, he looked up into the sky to see several bowling balls dropping from the sky on him. "Oh FOR THE LOVE OF!!!" Risen practically screamed as he grabbed every single one of them with his magic, and with a flash of white light, they were all gone. "I swear I will kill whoever is doing that," he said with a growl. Trixie just remained silent, as did Curwen. "Well," Discord said from atop one of the nearby buildings, "Someone is making this difficult." The moment he said that last bit, he disappeared from sight. -Meanwhile, in Celestia's royal chambers- Princess Celestia: Do something of import to the plot. "Princess Celestia!" one of the royal guards said to her as he walked into the room with a scroll tucked under his wing. "Yes, what is it?" Celestia said to him as she took the scroll from him with her magic. "This just came in from the Flag Industrial Works factory in Las Pegasus. Something about a rather large shipment to the palace." With that, Celestia unrolled the scroll and held it in front of her face so she could read it. "Ah yes, I see," she said as she read it. After she was done with it, she rolled it back up and handed it to the guard. "Approve the shipment and inform Risen Flag when he returns." "Yes, your majesty," the guard said as he turned and left the room. -Meanwhile, in the palace library- Princess Luna: Do something awesome that happens to be of import to the plot. Luna was sitting on her bean bag chair in the palace library reading another volume of Sandmare when suddenly, something hit her. Figuratively of course. She put the book down and looked forward as if she had to run that way. "BY SCOTT THAT IS GREAT!!!" She said to nopony in particular, unsure of why she chose that exact phrase to say. "We feel as if we must do something awesome and important!" And with that, she teleported out of the room. -Meanwhile, in the Mayor's office in Ponyville- Mayor: Be in your offics, frazzled as Hay and trying to make sense of the finances at the exact sme time Applejack is approached by the Mayor. Wait what? "By Celestia!" Mayor Mare said to nopony in particular as she went through the mountain of financial paperwork on her desk. "This is going to take more than a week to get through." It was at that point that she dreaded giving her secretary today off. Not that she didn't need it, she did, but it was only now when she was gone that she remembered just how much crap she helped her deal with on a regular basis... As well as a few other things. "Hmm.... what's this?" she said to herself as she pulled out another paper and read through it. Part of the title read 'Sweet Apple Acres.' "No, no no no this can't be right." She said as she read through it, and then read through it again to make sure she read it right. "I should go talk to them about this." she said to herself as she took the paper, dropped it into a nearby saddlebag and headed for the door. Right before she opened it though, she stopped and looked back at the mountains of paperwork on her desk. Paperwork that she still had to get through. The matter with the Apple family really wasn't all that important, but still needed looking into. She looked back at the door, then back to the paperwork. She argued with herself mentally about whether to go talk to the Apple family about a minor financial matter or do the mountain of paperwork that her secretary could easily help her with tomorrow. When she thought about it like that, she didn't even need a moment to deicde what to do. She left her office and headed straight for Sweet Apple Acres. -Meanwhile, in the Crystal Empire- Princess Cadance: After having sex with your husband, end up in Ponyville with said husband and no idea how you got here. "Ah," Princess Cadence said to herself as she fell down onto the bed next to her husband after some furious lovemaking with him. There was a reason she married him after all. "You know," she said after a moment. "We should really visit Ponyville sometime." "What?" Shining Armor said as he turned to look at her. "It'll be great to see your sister again, and all her friends. They're all so nice." "Yeah, I agree," Shining Armor said. "But we have so much to do here. The Equestria Games are coming up after all." "I know," Caedence replied. "Still, it would be nice not to think about any of that for a while." "Yeah," Shining Armor agreed as he rolled over on top of her. "I can't really argue with that." "Oh and by the way," Cadence said as Shining Armor started kissing her. "I stopped using the protection spell about a week ago.... Shining..." Shining Armor didn't respond. He couldn't have responded even if he wanted to. -Meanwhile, in the Everfree Forest- Kirk: I'm sorry, ma'am, but this is an internal matter. NOW TELL ME EVERYTHING! Gordon: Look, I'm not part of.... He stopped, looking over towards Zecora, before lowering his voice to a minimal so she couldn't hear. Gordon: I'm not a part of your timeline. Hell, I don't know if I'm in the right dimension. If I am, they got it very accurate at home. Kirk: What? Gordon: Look, I'm fro ma secret government agency, stationed in New Mexico, where they were experimenting with inter-dimensional travel. It was in 1997 when an incident happened, which, to make a long story short, ended with me in Starfleet, eventually earning a place on your crew. As for how I know so much about this place, I'm pretty sure that if I said why, all of reality would fold in on itself, killing us all. In fact, I piloted us through a dimensional rift to get here anyway. Oh, and My suit and crowbar experience are from the government facility I worked in. He was rewarded in his truth telling by a double-fist-punch to the face, causing Zecora to rush forward to help him. Gordon, for his part, merely ground out what almost sounded like a fanboy squeal, albeit muffled by his now-bloody nose. Zecora: What could prompt you to be so cruel? And tread very lightly, take me not for a fool! Kirk: Well, he was withholding information for our mission of... uhh... exploration in these woods. Zecora stared blankly at him, before shaking her head. Zecora: Now you dare try to lie around your tooth? Stop it now, I want the truth! Kirk: uhhh.... Kirk: Um... I'm sorry ma'am, but this is an internal matter. *turns back to Gordon Freebrony* NOW TELL ME EVERYTHING! Gordon Freebrony: Look, I'm... *Stops for a moment, looks over at Zecora, then lowers his voice to a whisper so that only Kirk can hear* I'm not part of your timeline. Hell, I don't know if I'm in the right dimension. If I am, then they got it very accurate at home. K: What are you talking about? GF: Look, I'm from a secret government agency stationed in New Mexico, where they were experimenting with inter-dimensional travel. It was in 1997 in my world when an incident happened, which, to make a long story short, ended with me in Starfleet, and eventually earning a place on your crew. As for how I know so much about this place, I'm pretty sure that if I told you why, all of reality would fold in on itself, killing us all. In fact, I piloted us through a dimensional rift to get here anyway. Oh, and My suit and crowbar experience are from the government facility I worked in. *There is silence between them for a few moments. Kirk breaks it by punching Gordon in the face, and then again with his other hand, knocking Gordon to the ground and causing him to start bleeding from his nose. Just as Kirk is about to kick him, Zecora steps in between the two of them. Zecora: What could prompt you to be so cruel? And tread very lightly, take me not for a fool! K: Well, he was withholding information for our mission of... uhh... *stumbles for a moment* exploration of these woods. Z: Now you dare try to lie around your tooth? Stop it now, I want the truth! K: Umm.... *Spock puts his hand on Kirk's shoulder and then steps forward.* -Meanwhile, not to far away- Vortigaunts: Appear in the Everfree forest. Comment on the situation. Do nothing else for five chapters. Vortigaunt 1: The Freeman seems to be having some difficulty dealing with the situation he has found himself in. Vortigaunt 2: Fear not. Trust has been established. The striped one should be able to help him here in this new world. Pinkie Pie: A storm's a coming. You best start handing out candy-based weaponry to all the minors in town! Rainbow Dash: Be technically a minor. Be suitably embarrassed by this revelation. "Here you go," Pinkie Pie said as she handed Rainbow Dash some.... thing... that looked like a cross between licorice and a baseball bat. "Uhh, Pinkie," Rainbow Dash said to her as she looked down at the bat, then back to her, then down at the bat, then back to her. "What the hay is this?" "It's a licorice bat," Pinkie Pie said as if it was obvious. "Duh!!!" "Okay..." Rainbow Dash replied, though was still thoroughly confused. "Why are you giving me a licorice bat?" "Because," Pinkie said as she tiled her head to the side a little bit farther than she should have. "A storm is coming and I have to give out candy weapons to all the minors in town." "Oooohhhhh," Rainbow Dash said as she understood that. She was still thoroughly confused, though given that the subject at hand was Pinkie Pie, she knew not to ask any questions. "Wait!" she said as the meaning of the last part of that comment finally hit her. "Then why are you giving on to me?" Pinkie Pie only giggled at that before answering. "Because you're a minor silly," she said. "Oh, oh," Rainbow Dash said as a blush started to creep up on her face. It was true, she was, wait, no she wasn't. "Wait, no I'm not!" "Of course you are," Pinkie Pie said as she straitened her head back up. "We're all minors here." At that, the only look that Rainbow Dash could possibly give her was the same one she to any little filly who was disastrously wrong about something. "Pinkie..." Rainbow Dash said. "Do you even know the legal age here in Equestria?" "I DON'T KNOW!!!" Pinkie said as she held out her hoof, looking more than a little annoyed. "My pinkie senses told me that a storm was coming so I just started handing out candy weapons, I didn't expect the Spanish Inquisition." Suddenly, they were both interrupted by some kind of loud, ominous music tone as three ponies wearing red robes showed up out of nowhere. One wore a very large red hat, one a aviator's helmet, and the other a red hoof. "NOPONY EXPECTS THE-" The one in the hat started to speak before Pinkie Pie interrupted him. "OOH OOH!!!" Pinkie said as she started bouncing up and down. "The Spanish Inquisition! I knew you'd show up!" "WHAT!?" The red hatted Stallion said in surprise... and fear... fear and surprise... and an almost fanatical devotion to Celestia. "How could you possible know that we would show up! Nopony is supposed to expect the Spanish Inquisition." "You're from Browndog77's story," Pinkie said as she had to keep herself from laughing so hard. "It was so funny, I-" PINKIE STOP BREAKING THE FOURTH WALL! NOW IS NOT THE TIME!!! "Sorry," *throws on a puppy dog face* *sigh* Let's just skip to another meanwhile. -Meanwhile, in the Spa in Ponyville- Rarity: Well this all has been embarrassing, so you should probably consort with Fluttershy at the local spa on how to properly apologize to Jason. Fluttershy: Secretly be in love with Rarity, and just about ready to confess. "And then even after Jason told me that we couldn't be together I STILL kept doing this for him to make him notice me," Rarity said to her friend Fluttershy while the two of them were getting massages. It was their spa day today after all. "I'm... I'm so sorry Rarity," was all Fluttershy could say to her. "Oh, I've just been acting horribly. By Celestia I could not even call myself a lady!" Rarity went on, as was her want. "How do I even apologize to someone I've treated so horribly!?" Fluttershy just did what she did best, she just sat there and listened. In truth though, she didn't know what to say, though she did know that it sometimes felt better to talk about things with another pony. Though really, Rarity's words only hurt her more, and Rarity didn't even know it or could even comprehend why. For the longest time, Fluttershy had been in love with Rarity. Not just Rarity, all of her friends. ALL of them... even the ones that weren't her close friends... She wanted to do it with every single pony she knew. In fact, she was in love with everyone she knew. In fact, in fact, she could only dream of a massive orgy between herself, all of her friends, and now that Jason was in the picture, she wouldn't have minded having him in the mix too. Yeah, she was lonely. She'd kept the fact that she was essentially a sex obsessed maniac from her friends for the longest time, but today she had planned to confess to them one by one, starting with Rarity since it was their Spa day together and she figured that she would understand better than any of them... BUT then this came up. So, Fluttershy just let Rarity talk and said what she could to help her sort out her problem. It appeared as if her plans to confess would have to wait for another day... again. -Meanwhile, at Sweet Apple Acres- Applejack: While working the farm you are approached by none other then the mayor! She just needs you to look over some legal paperwork regarding Sweet Apple Acres, nothing too important, but maybe we should discuss it over a drink? Applejack wiped the sweat off of her brow as she just finished delivering another cart of apples back to the barn. Without Jason here it was a bit of a hassle to do it all on her own, but she'd been doing it herself long before he showed up, so she managed. "Oh Applejack!" she suddenly heard somepony call her, startling her a little bit. She spun around the second she heard it to see the mayor standing there. "Oh, howdy mayor," Applejack said to her as she regained her composure and walked over to her. "What can Ah do fer ya?" "Oh, nothing major," Mayor Mare said to her. "Just need you to look over some legal paperwork regarding Sweet Apple Acres." At that, Applejack suddenly got a worried look on her face. "It's nothing too important, you're not in danger of losing your farm or anything, but I was hoping that you could discuss it with me." "Oh, okay," Applejack said as she walked away with the mayor to discuss whatever legal matter was affecting Sweet Apple Acres. -Meanwhile, in the farmhouse- Big Mac: Consort with Granny Smith, since you're both members of the Holy Order of Stability and can feel the tides. It might be time to bring out your magic sword at last. Also ensure you haven't been shunted to a side canon. "And that is why we as the holy order of stability have to fight preserve the order of preservation," Granny Smith said to Big Macintosh as he sat there listening to her. "It might be time to break out the magic sword again. Ah think." "Uh, Granny," Big Macintosh said to her, slightly worried. "What are you talkin about?" "You dreamed of me," Granny Smith said to Big Macintosh. "Am I the boogeyman?" Big Macintosh just looked back at her with the most confused look on his face ever. -Meanwhile, back in the Ponyville Library- Spike: Do something awesome that is not relevant to the plot at all. "FUS RO DAH!!!" Spike shouted at the top of his dragon lungs, and as he did, the table in front of him was suddenly flipped over by the sheer, raw power of his voice and sent flying across the room. "Wow," Spike said as he stared in awe at the damage he'd done. "I wonder why Twilight didn't want me knowing anything about the dragon language." He said to Owlowiscious, who gently flew down and landed right next to him. "This is awesome." "Who?" Owlowiscious said in response. -Meanwhile, with the quarry eels- Quarry Eels: Oh no wait, they've been brutally slaughtered, moving on. -Meanwhile, in a parallel universe where ponies occasionally mistake their hoof for a dragon- "IT'S A DRAGON! A DRAGON!! GET IT AWAY FROM ME!!! GET IT AWAY!!!!" Lyra screamed as Bon Bon ran down the stairs to see that Lyra was backing into the wall away from... her own hoof. "Lyra, it's just your hoof," she said to her. At that, Lyra stopped for a moment and looked back at her hoof. "Oooooohhhhhhhhh, Thanks Bonnie," she said with the same stupid grin on her face she always wore. -Meanwhile, in reality- Razor: FUCK I'M STILL NOT DONE WITH THIS CHAPTER!!! GOD DAMN IT MASTERWEAVER!!!! -Meanwhile, back to the main story (f*cking finally)- Random Flower: ....why the heck are you even part of this story? Seriously? Science Woona explain this! You and the other cutie mark crusaders walked right past a random flower that happened to be there for no reason as you made your way farther into the apple orchard towards the tree Applebloom was talking about. As your walking with the girls, you stop to notice something stuck to a nearby tree. It's a red balloon. You're curious why it's there, and ask Ghost Pinkie if she knows something, but she's clueless. As your, looking at it, you start to feel a bit scared, but you don't know why. However, before you can investigate further, you hear the girls calling you. You decided to drop what you're doing and follow them, and when you look back at the tree, the balloon has vanished. As you walk with them, you notice something stuck in a nearby tree. Something that appears to be.... a red balloon. It's just sitting there, stuck in a tree. You're kind of curious as to why it's out here, though for the life of you you can't imagine why. You look over to Ghost Pinkie Pie to see if she knows anything, but she just shrugs. Apparently she's just as clueless as you are. The longer you look at it though, the more you feel... well, not exactly scared, but sort of nervous, like you know something is about to happen. You can feel it in your- "We're here!" Applebloom suddenly shouts, distracting you for a moment. You look ahead to see her and the three other crusaders just ahead of you, so you walk a little faster to catch up with them. Still, you look back at the balloon again, only to see that it's gone. It's weird, it's like it was never even there, yet it was, you can CLEARLY remember seeing it. Jason: Well you've set the ground rules and you've got a tree in mind so just keep an eye on the Crusaders and make sure they all stick together on the way to the tree. Once Applebloom takes you to the tree inspect it to see if it's up to your safety standards, and then let the Crusaders get to trying to be Lumberjacks. Let them try to do it themselves without really butting in as long as they stay within safety rules, and of course be ready to react if something goes wrong. During Jason's exciting lumberjack trip he and the cutie mark crusaders will eventually run into a lumberjack's worse enemy! SAP!!!!! Jason, you must make sure to equip each pony with saftey gear first. Revise your rules now that you've met them. Otherwise, have fun! As you start to think about it you haven't taken a poop in a long time. "It's true" Well, grab an axe, put on a helmet and maybe some goggles if you fell like it. Time to get out there and chop some trees down! Time to be a leader, regardles of the fact that they are just childeren! Just don't lose your head, or anypony else's head while your at it... NOW GET OUT THERE AND BE THE BEST DAMN LUMBERJACK EQUESTRIA HAS EVER SEEN!!! In the event that they need help lumberjacking, help them with your pen. [...] What do you mean, "You cannot lumberjack with a pen" [...] Well, I don't know, it's HIS pen. He should know. [...] Oh, shut up. Have Appleloom show you a tree to cut down. Allow CMC to cut down a tree following all your safety guidelines. Cutie Mark Crusaders: As per tradition, disturb the homes of mythological creatures entierely accidentally and force Jason to deal with the shenigans, getting covered in tree sap along the way. Meh, you just chalk it up to being nothing. After all, you're here to help these little ponies become lumberjacks.... as silly as that idea sounds to you. So, with that in mind, you head down the pathway in front of you over to where they are waiting for you. Applebloom is standing there pointing to her right. Once you get there, you turn to look where she is pointing and see..... The biggest God damned tree you've ever seen in your entire life. NO SERIOUSLY, BY THE BEARDS OF GOD, ODIN, AND ZEUS, THIS THING WAS FRIGGIN HUGE!!! It was about as big around as the Apple Family farmhouse, and it was taller than any tree you've seen out here by far. It was the Paul Bunyan of trees. Suddenly, you feel your need to keep these kids away from any lumberjacking related diseases diminishing if they seriously want to take this thing down. You also start to wonder why the hell you haven't seen this tree before. It's not like it would be hard to miss. "Uhh...." is all you can say. Seriously, it is. You're in such awe of this tree right now that you cannot say a damn thing else. "Well," Scootaloo said as she walked up right next to you. "Come on, let us have those axes. We're gonna cut down this tree!!!" She said that with such enthusiasm that she almost believed it was possible. You honestly cannot believe this. You had the whole day any everything planned out for this. Find some decent tree, maybe steer them away from it to a smaller one if it was too large, and then watch them swing at the tree, enforcing the safety rules where it applied (you even considered making them wear the helmets and goggles anyway as a safety measure. Sure they'd fight with you, but you expected that), and watching them cheer with joy when they succeeded or aww in anguish when they inevitably gave up. Also it occurs to you that you haven't gone to the bathroom in a while for some reason. Maybe it was because you did before you left. "Well," Applebloom says as she walks up to you. "Come on Jason. Let us at it." It's at that point you suddenly find the will to speak again. "Uhh, Applebloom," you say. "Why in the name of EVERYTHING do you want to chop down THIS tree?" "Cause Diamond Tiara said that we should chop down the mightiest tree in the forest with a herring," she said, seemingly oblivious to EVERYTHING. "Of course we know choppin in it down with a herrin is impossible, but Ah thought if we could cut it down we'd definitely get our cutie marks." She says that with the most adorable smile possible. "Uhh...." is all you say. "What," Sweetie Belle says as she walks up to you. "Do you think we can't do it?" "Honestly," you say. "I don't think even Paul Bunyan could do it?" "Who's Paul Bunyan?" Sweetie Belle asks. "A three hundred foot tall giant who chopped down trees.... LOOK THAT'S NOT THE POINT!" you say to them. "Can't you guys just pick a smaller tree or something?" "But we wanna cut down THIS tree," Applebloom says in desperation. This is starting to get sillier and sillier by the minute. It only occurs to you now what kind of wildlife may life in that tree that you could potentially anger if you cut it down. "Look," you say as you put down the lumberjacking equipment and walk on over to it. "If you try to cut down this tree," you say to them as you hit it with the back of your hand a few times. "I'm not even joking when I say it's literally gonna take you a couple months. Possibly longer." It's at that point that you look back over to see Applebloom and Scootaloo trying to pick up one of the axes. Turns out you were right, they were kind of heavy for them. "NO!" you scream at them as you run back over to them. "Drop the axe NOW!" you say, and they do it almost immediately. They seem kind of scared by your sudden outburst. Almost to afraid to move. "But... but..." Applebloom says, it almost seems as if she is on the verge of crying now, as is Sweetie Belle. GAH you can't stand to see that now. With that, you just let out a sigh, kneel down, and put your hand on her shoulder, or at the very least what you assume is her shoulder. "Look," you say to them. "You're never gonna cut this tree down now. But..." you say to them, which makes them all look back up at you. "If you pick a smaller tree to start, and get better. Then maybe eventually we can come back to this tree and cut it down. Basically, what I'm saying is that this tree is your end goal. Start small, and maybe, eventually you'll be able to take down the bigger ones. Hell," you say to them, "I was small once." At that, they all look up to you. "I was small just like you, and I thought I always had to take down the biggest things first, but you know what." Now they seem to be listening to you. "Eventually I learned that doing things that way doesn't get you anywhere, but, if you start small and work and work and work until you become the best, then eventually, nothing can stand in your way, not even a tree like that." "R... really?" Sweetie Belle says first, oddly enough. "Yes," you say to them. "Really." With that, you stand back up. "You just have to learn to get better at something, not start fighting a challenge that you know you will lose." After you say that, you pause for a moment and look down at them. They teary look in their eyes is gone now. "Now," you say to them. "What say we find another tree and REALLY start lumberjacking! Right!?" "Right!?" all three of them say. "CUTIE MARK CRUSADER LUMBERJACKS TAKE TWO!!!!!" Thankfully, this time you remembered to cover your ears. "And Ah know the perfect tree to start with!" Applebloom says with excitement. Somehow, that doesn't make you feel better. "Lead the way!" Scootaloo said. Almost immediately after they say that, the three of them run off and run down the path they came from, leaving you there all alone. You... kind of almost expected that really. With you alone, you let out a sigh and turn back around to look over at the ENORMOUS tree. "Seriously, how the f*ck did I never notice you before?" you say to no one in particular as you look at it. You stare for a few more moments you turn back around. As for commenting on the main story, it does feel a little slow right now. The moment you turn back around to face the trail though, you see something that.... makes you stop dead in your tracks and mentally go "What the f*ck am I looking at?" In front of you was a pony that you've never seen before, a pony that for all intents and purposes could best be described as a clown. He wore what you could only assume was white clown make up and had a curly, candy-red color mane arranged on the sides of this head, but none on the top, as if the top was somehow completely shaved of his mane. He wore some kind of yellow jumpsuit with frilled cuffs at the end of each hoof and three fuzzy, red balls on the underside. The thing that was possibly the most disturbing about him though, was the red clown nose that he wore on the end of his snout. "Hi," the clown pony said to you in what sounded like an oddly British voice. The next moment is... kind of a complete blur to you, but the only thing you knew for certain was that you were suddenly knocked back into the incredibly large tree behind you. It felt like you were hit by some kind of truck. You didn't even know you moved. You were hit hard enough to get the wind knocked out of you, and you were pretty sure there was a you sized indent in the tree behind you. The clown thing didn't even move. Did he even do that? That wasn't possible, was it? As you lay there at the edge of the tree trying to catch your breathe, you just looked over at the strange clown pony, who just stood there and smiled. You then took a moment to blink, and when you opened your eyes, he was right in front of you, inches away from your face. It was like he didn't move, he was just sort of, there, almost like he teleported. "I'm terribly sorry," the clown pony said to you. "But it's time for you to die now." With that, the clown pony just smiled with an almost cat like grin that showed his teeth. By all that was holy they weren't normal, pony teeth. They were very long, very sharp, and very brown. They looked almost like incisor teeth that you would see on a velociraptor or something like that, something for eating meat. Basically, they were teeth that should in no way exist on ponies. What do you do? Next Chapter: PONY.... Well I guess it's not Pony Kombat since neither of the participants are really ponies... Oh well... PONY KOMBAT!!!!! - Jason Morgan vs Haypennywise the Clown Yes, I am completely serious. You take control of Jason's actions as he takes on Haypennywise the Clown, and this time, it really is a matter of life and death. Give some good advice people.... And some of you were complaining this was getting to slow Oh, and for those of you in the side story. DON'T EVEN THINK OF MAKING YOUR GUYS HELP JASON Cause I won't let you. Not now. Jason has to take care of this problem himself. You can still give advice to him but yeah, keep your guys out of this. In fact, I'm gonna put your little side story on hold for the next few chapters until this is dealt with. So yeah... Good luck everyone.