//------------------------------// // Will // Story: Ascent. Book 1: Twilight // by viwrastupr //------------------------------// Chapter 5: Will A gentle nuzzle pressed against Twilight Sparkle. “...Celestia,” she whispered, still dreaming. The nuzzle giggled. “Sorry, little pony,” Luna replied. “Time to wake.” The curtains of their room flew open, letting the literal twilight in. “We thought thou might enjoy to experience the moon setting and sun rising ceremony.” “Yes,” Twilight yawned, “please.” She shook herself awake, following Luna to the balcony. Readying herself for the task at hoof, the alicorn took in a great breath and exhaled. Blue light wobbled and pulsated from her beginning at her horn and keeping in rhythm with her heartbeat. It was even at first but as the waves increased in size and intensity it came out in sporadic bursts and fits, the Princess under great strain. A worried frown crossed Twilight’s face, something is wrong, she thought. Electricity pulsated through the air, then all of a sudden it stopped, Luna panting: the sun had risen, the moon set, and nothing having gone awry as far as Twilight could tell. “Are you alright?” the unicorn asked. Luna rose, composure restored. “Yes. We were expecting our sister to aid us. Celestia must be taking her thoughts of you with great seriousness if she has foregone her duties as Princess.” A weak smile met Twilight’s worry. “We must take care of court today if Equestria is to continue to function normally. While we would enjoy to make expressions with you, Celestia may be there.” Though Twilight’s heart disagreed, her mind knew. “I understand.” “I will meet you before the sun sets, Ms. Sparkle.” Luna winked in a show of play, turning to go. “Wait,” Twilight asked. “I do have a favor to ask. Can you get the wooden box that came with the oven in Celestia’s room?” Luna nodded, smiling. “You mean the one you tried to hide as soon as you possibly could? It’s between the nightstand and the bed, is it not?” Flurries of emotions ran through Twilight, but acceptance prevailed. Luna would know what Luna knew. “Yes.” A magical ripple appeared in space before her, pulling up the chest and it fell to her feet, shocking her out of her melancholy. “Magical summoning is expressly forbidden to or from the private chambers!” Luna sat and waited for the gears to turn in Twilight’s head, expecting more to come from the little pony. She thought Twilight would put up more fight and was wondering if her next point would be remembered before she said it. But the Princess was almost late for court... “Says the pony who summoned an oven into Princess Celestia’s quarters?” Twilight squinted; it wasn’t fair. “I won’t tell if you don’t, my little pony.” *   *   * Just try it, Celestia told herself. Dont tease her, don’t tell her that it’s anything other than what it is, an experiment to find out what you feel. The Princess flew low, skimming the grass plains beneath Canterlot’s mountain. “Are you sure?” She replied. No, but you don’t know how you feel. You want to do these things and you don’t. “It’s time for court.” Have your decision ready by the end, you owe her that much. *   *   * The halls were bare where Twilight lay looking out a window. The lack of company was good, she reasoned: she had a lot of thinking to do. Having the time to herself also allowed her to bathe in the sun, a gentle reminder of the one she cared for. There was one more friendship letter to write before springing the ‘I’ve learned!’ surprise to Celestia. It was to Rarity, but she had to learn something about friendship first and waiting, which was all she felt she was doing, was already in Fluttershy’s letter. Perhaps she could find something to learn friendship from... “Grah!” She stopped, putting a hoof to her forehead; there she was, trying to fix another problem she had to wait on. What about Spike? Another hoof to her forehead. Of course! Spike gets a letter too. Spike and Rarity. *   *   * Celestia’s mind was running over and over itself and Princess Luna was no help. The Night Princess was giving out decrees, making judgments, but not once did her face slip into her usual playful and hidden demeanor, despite Celestia’s best efforts at expressions. Celestia knew why, of course, it was to force her to come to terms with how she felt about Twilight and her sister wouldn’t allow her any distractions. How do I feel about my most faithful student? She thought again. Do I care for her? “Of course,” Celestia’s not-so-inner monologue gave permission for a new sculpture to be built in Canterlot proper, causing a hopeful artist to smile and prance his way back to reception. In court was not the proper location for Celestia to be dealing with these things. But how? Like a friend, a student, a daughter or... different? Is it even okay to? She shifted, feathers ruffling. Thankfully Luna gave her the only hidden expression of that court: ‘I’ll take care of this, you take care of you’, she read. She nodded a silent thanks and allowed her mind to wander. Though a rare case, Twilight sparkle was not the first student Celestia had taken under her wing. Her pupils numbered in the dozens, though they had hundreds of years between them. With only a couple notable exceptions they had all been faithful proteges. She had to reach deep into memory to try and recall if any had confessed their infatuation with her. A blue stallion and two others came to mind. A pink mare? Or was she yellow? Celestia couldn’t recall, what she did remember being she had acted less kind by far to the others than to Twilight. No nuzzles, no late night studying one on one, and when they confessed their affections she did what she always did: she showed them her true self. And they ran. They all ran. Celestia snarled at the bitter memories, scaring a timid magistrate half to death back in the present. They all fled me because I wasn’t their ‘Perfect Princess’’. The Princess Twilight thinks I am. Bitter emotions ran in turmoil, taking over her heart. I have a duty to put on that mask and to be their ruler, no emotions, no play. My strength and power are the only truth they want to hear and my regality the lie they come to enjoy. She steadied her almost trembling hooves. Had she ever adored any of them back? Did it matter? Celestia had her duties: Princess of the Sun, she was bound and gagged to carry them out. That is what her charges had liked about her. Twilight was her pupil. It had been her charge to take care of the unicorn and in that she had failed. Her desire to keep her student close had corrupted the younger pony. It wasn’t fair to Twilight at all. She had her answer. *   *   * “Never!” Rarity said. “That is a terrible idea, and I do not have the time.” Pinkie Pie pouted. “I will not” And pouted. “It’s not that I don’t want to help, I just have to... augh... do things, alright?” And pouted. “Fine! I’ll help you, but if this goes sour it’s all on you.” And smiled. *   *   * Twilight was ever studious. As the afternoon came and went she passed the time reading a book on magical enchantments. Or she should have been doing just that, but her eyes kept reading and rereading the same page, trying to put it together. All she could make out was ‘I’m waiting and I’m not interested in this right now.’ She let her eyes drift to the world around her. Books were closest and a hoof-ful of ponies browsed the archives, each in their own world. Her wooden box lay unopened at her side. Setting her study to the side she brought the box to her chest and unlatched it, revealing the secrets within. Inside were the most mundane of objects: her first quill, the acceptance letter to Celestia’s School for Gifted Unicorns, a long dried flower, a gala ticket, and a journal she was never very good about using. Memories came with each object and she smiled; this was something special only to her. Her hope with the trinkets had been to remind Celestia of their friendship and closeness that they had once shared. While the spur of the moment baking session had thrown those plans off course, she was happy with the way things unfolded. Maybe there will be time to show Princess Celestia later, she hoped. She packed up her books, abandoning studying for the moment and trotting out of the library. Perhaps when Luna was out of court the Princess would be able to take her for tea. Without direction or destination in mind she walked away from the castle, her hooves following a path they knew well. She didn’t realize it until she arrived, but there she was: outside her old study, the tower standing tall against the looming sunset. Sunset? Had she spent that much time in the library? While her immediate temptation was to walk right in, this wasn’t her room anymore. Spike wouldn’t be there to greet her with tales of Moondancer’s beauty. Still, she was curious as to what had become of the place. Her parents may have lived here in Canterlot but this had been her home for a long time. She knocked. “Hel-looo?” she sang. No response came from the tower, so with caution she opened the door. The study was dark but otherwise exactly how she had left it. Empty bookshelves stared back at her, cobwebs and dust taking over with time. Parchments and notes that had not been of enough importance to take were still strewn about, as if not a soul had been inside since she left. Twilight rounded a corner to come face to back with her, Princess Celestia. A terrible energy was radiating from her, rising in a red steam. Twilight backed away, scared of what she saw and hoping to remain unnoticed. ”Come, Ms. Sparkle.” Celestia’s voice boomed. Shoot! Well, at least Twilight had done her best to give her space. “Yes?” Twilight stood firm, regardless of  fear of confrontation and the powerful force coming from her that was unlike anything Twilight had ever seen. There was a coldness to her eyes, different from the royal mask and more terrifying than her true self as Twilight remembered. It was wrong. Everything felt wrong. When the Princess spoke, she didn’t look at her visitor, instead gazing at the setting sun. “I have made my decision.” Not even Chrysalis could have made such ice come from Celestia’s voice. Twilight realized the great danger that was happening before her. According to the clock on the wall, the sun shouldn’t be setting for many more hours, but it was dipping below the horizon and casting everything in a surreal glow. Celestia’s horn shimmered, aiding the sun’s escape. There was no more hope left in the unicorn for herself: she knew. The sun spoke, her words tightly controlled. “You will leave canterlot.” “Yes, Princess.” Twilight whispered. “You will forget this foolishness.” “Yes Princess.” It was over, and worse than that, she had made her princess- the Princess, angry with her foal like behavior. “You will cease your friendship reports to me. I am the Princess of your kingdom, Ms. Sparkle. Nothing more.” Twilight was struck dumb. There wasn’t a word in her mind or her throat. Why couldn’t this be Chrysalis, just a simple trick that she could blame and work against? This was her friend... ending their friendship forever. No tears or sobs came to Twilight but the worst kind of despair of thoughts turned inwards took hold. She did what she did best and worst: she thought. I should’ve kept my mouth shut. I’m a terrible student. I should’ve stayed in my daydreams. Her heart slowed. I’m not good enough. I should have been a better friend. A better pony. She blinked, fighting tears. In spite of the horrid nature of this end, she would face it with dignity, something to hold on to. A better pony for her and less.... less me. Her torturer turned, facing her with that same mask of perfection they both hated. This could be the last time we speak... “No,” Twilight said. To be abandoned by Celestia was the last thing she wanted, but if that was the Princess’s will, then so be it. If that was the case though,if this was their last meeting, then she had something for Celestia. She had to fight everything that broiled within her, every thought of self loathing, every moment of self hate, doubt and despair. In defiance of her trembling hooves and shaking chest, she had one thing to say and she wasn’t going to waste this last opportunity. This opportunity to help her princess. “Princess Celestia.” No response. “I will always be your friend.” *   *   * Luna was shivering, her face a sheen of sweat. Her sister may have been able to set the sun but Luna would not let Celestia take her moon. It was all the Princess could do to keep the day and night in balance. Hopefully the little purple pony could do the rest. She would do her best to keep her sister from becoming The Nightmare. *   *   * “Why?” Celestia’s question echoed like a siren in her ear. The terrifying goddess approached until they were inches apart, staring one another down. A heat came from Celestia’s magic that made Twilight want to vomit. Celestia looked... scared. It was a simple question, but one that Twilight didn’t have an answer for. She knew it was true, and what she wanted, but why? “Because,” Twilight let her emotions go, “you’re perfect.” She let out all the rage she felt at being rejected, all the pain for not being good enough, and all the love that had been bottled away. The control she’d had for all her life crumbled inside her. Like that first fateful day so long ago her eyes went white. She took Celestia’s coldness and turned it against her. “Why won’t yo-” Celestia started. “SHUT UP!” Twilight’s word was command. Angry waves of sparks shot from her horn, any semblance of magical constraint lost. “Don’t you see it? Do I need to teach this lesson again Celestia? I love you. Not the Princess, not the masks. You.” Electricity exploded from her, striking across her former study uncontrolled and unbridled, but neither pony moved. Bookcases crumbled into dust under her rage, memories destroyed in an instant. The air around them caught on fire, beating back Celestia’s own magic, the alicorn’s power dwarfed in an instant by the new sun. “You. Don’t think that you hid yourself from me Celestia. I know and I care for you.” Twilight couldn’t see, but she didn’t care to, these were her words and regardless of how much Celestia hated her or how much she would suffer for it she would have her peace. “You are a terrible pony.” Cracks appeared in the floor when Twilight stepped forward.Her lightning was outshined with waves of purple light and force, cascading in rhythm with the fire of her heart. “You bring me here to show me who you are, then immediately turn around and act like we were never friends! Well I’m sorry. I’m sorry that when you held me close when we studied I thought it meant something. I’m sorry that when you laughed I thought you weren’t laughing at me. I’m sorry I have the gall to feel something for the high and mighty Princess.“ Twilight stomped her hoof, preemptively silencing Celestia. “Every step we come closer you treat like a defeat. Every time I bare my heart to you, you give me silence. ‘Come, Twilight.’ ‘See who I am Twilight.’ It’s all in the plans, isn’t it?” “BUCK your plans!” she cried, her hooves hovering off the ground. Waves of energy and cold filled the room, stripping it bare of all but the walls of stone which themselves began to buckle. “Why don’t you let you be you?” Twilight sobbed, her rage giving way to sorrow, the magic becoming cold. Pity came to her for Celesita, a frost covering everything. “Why can’t ponies know that you like chamomile tea, not peppermint like you say? Why don’t you share how shallow you think politics are, but how much you enjoy playing the game? For your sake, Celestia, you hate your title and formality. You like to play silly games. You enjoy flying because it’s freeing that you can be all on your own, and I-” Time ceased to move, the waves of force halted in their place, and for the first time since beginning her tirade Twilight met her mentor’s face. She confessed again to Celestia. “You fly, and I like to watch. I’ve watched you laugh. I’ve watched you smile. I thought- Even  though I knew I couldn’t be, I thought I was the cause of some of those smiles. You’re a pony. You make mistakes, you make bad decisions and-” Twilight looked into her eyes, a terrified gaze looking back at her. “You’re perfect.” Twilight’s magic released, time resumed, and the tower dissolved in a torrent of grief made real in bright purple light, both ponies sent into a dark unconsciousness. *   *   * All across Equestria ponies didn’t know what to do. The sun had gone down early and in all the histories and all the textbooks, this had never happened. Were the cosmic forces out of balance? Was there something happening beyond the control of even their beloved princesses? Was Celestia dead? Then came the star. In every corner of Equestria there shone a bright purple star from the direction of Canterlot. It was even visible on the train where Twilight’s friends rode towards Canterlot. Everypony was scared and worried, but for one pony who was whistling a happy little tune. “Smile smile smile,” she kept saying. Her tail was still and nothing else seemed the matter. A little laugh, a little cheer and the ghosties were giggled away.