The "Peace" Diaries
by Prince Solstice
Preface by wille179: This second story submitted to me by Prince Solstice is another one of his abandoned stories. He asked if I would post it, to which I agreed. I gave this a quick once over to polish it up, but otherwise this is his original work.
Description: Journal entries made by Orange Swirl as he defended the northern borders of Equestria from the red menace known as Santy Hooves.
Tags: Dark, Random
Characters: OC
Rating: Everyone
Day 138: Somewhere along the Equestrian Border
Fuck this numbing winter weather and this hell spawned Sargent of ours. Every damn day he goes over the orders to protect these boarders from outside evils we haven’t even seen. After months of boot camp I expect to actually be used for combat as part of this royal army for the “oh so mighty” Celestia and her solar empire propaganda. If they even knew about an enemy why the fuck are we sitting here dying of disease and frostbite? Sure they could send some magic our way, to maybe warm our ass up. No, instead this dreadful weather is for snowmen and these fucking penguins. It is fun to use them as a bit of target practice. Never knew penguins bled black.
We have not had a single alarm raise, let alone a single threat be made to this forsaken fort on the edge of oblivion. No there isn’t any threat along this side of the border, but the solar empire would tell you otherwise. There are the gryphons which are friendly to the pony kind, the changelings which are on the opposite border, and the crystal ponies which just became part of Equestria. All of those places still get better supplies and troops than this cold wasteland. This is supposedly the most dangerous border because we don’t know who lives beyond it. What do ponies actually think that these places magically appear whenever they god damned please? The northern part of this world has no life in it, it’s way too damn cold. I know that as a grunt in the military I can’t question orders given to me, but I am sick of this shit. To sum up my thoughts, there is nothing beyond the northern border of Equestria, the royal Princess Celestia must have brain washed the simple pony folk of her oh so wonderful empire, and to top it all off I am stuck here writing this useless diary I’ve kept since boot camp in the hopes that I would finally get some action about fifty days ago. Am I upset, no, am I pissed off, yes. I want to shoot something, and Celestia forbid my rifle barrel being shoved down this dumbass Sargent’s throat.Signing off,
One pissed off ponyDay 142 Still on the a forsaken fucking border
Wow, the first real alarm this place has had ever. It wasn’t from an enemy, but from accidental ordinance explosion. The fire is still keeping us warm, made me feel a little better. I am still pissed that I’m out here, but luckily I didn’t go AWOL. The bastard Sargent even lightened up a bit. It got weird when everyone wanted to roast penguin over this fire. Fucking new recruit decided to handle one of the disarmed ordinances. The damn Pegasus let the thing slip as he was flying off over the ammo dump. Turns out he picked up the wrong mortar shells. No pony was hurt, and even if someone had been hurt, no one here would care. I think the recruit was out of Ponyville; his name was like Didley Hooves or something. Poor bastard must have great luck because both of his ears have missing parts, and apparently he is the only one in his family with 20/20 vision. He may be clumsy, but the bastard platoon of ours calls him lucky now. Lucky he didn’t get blown the fuck up, and lucky that wasn’t all live ordinances. Most of the artillery and shit like that has been shipped off to a hole in the ground about five miles east. Who knew C-4 made a great fuel for fires, we’ve been feeding the fire old C-4 putty that needed to be replaced anyways. It took me a while to stop flinching every time someone threw that shit in the fire, wouldn’t think of a high explosive being stable enough to keep ponies warm for four days. By Celestia do I despise this fucking cold. It hasn’t stopped snowing for days now, everytime I turn around we are having to clear out our trenches just so we don’t lose them. I say just put a cover over all this shit and go home. We are freezing to death by the hour. We’ve lost more colts to frostbite than I can count anymore. Apparently this guard has been stationed here for four years, and I’ve already lost my faith in this empire.
To myself,
Orange ‘sherbet’ swirlDay 149 Fucking wasteland
Ever watch a ponies nose break off from being too cold? Yea Lucky’s did. He forgot to wear his protective mask on field duty, and came back with the tip of his nose gone. He’s getting transported back to the base of operations about Twenty Five miles south, if you want to believe that’s its actual position. I’m a grunt, they don’t tell me shit.
This shit sucks,
Some gruntDay 153 Moving day
Yay our borders have been extended even farther North. Guess what, it’s still fucking ice. Even worse we ran out of old munitions C-4 to burn. We actually have to find trees now. Oh, wait, there are no trees in this barren battle field, which has yet to have any battles fought, if there were even enemies to fight. I hope there are, I’d rip out my own bullet wound just to shove a bayonette down those assholes throats for showing up four years late, and then I’d use their corpses as fuel for a fire. I am not a very happy earth pony like I once was. I would give anything to be back at my shop in Manehattan. Although I think I might serve hot coffee at my ice cream parlor from now on. Cold shit never bothered me before this. Celestia please smite me already.
Waiting to die,
Orange SwirlDay 160 Some hope
Apparently the barren wasteland has more than just fucking nothing. A scout patrol came back to report some other scout patrol of some unknown ponies. I swear to Celestia that if they are just hallucinating again, I’ll go out to find any living thing just to kill it. Not even the fucking penguins come this far, so I’ve been bored as shit just sitting here obliterating snowmen with rifle grenades. Yea there are some perks to being part of a bastard platoon in a place where no action has happened ever. Either way it’s either use them the munitions for practice or let them go bad and be useless. They might forgive you for shooting the rifle grenade too close to them, but they never forgive you for a faulty gear in the grenade tube, mostly because you killed your entire squad. At least our shit still works in the cold. I think I’m going to shoot the Sargent with this grenade launcher if he doesn’t shut his yap about being loyal to your country bullshit. It’s not a country, and it isn’t even that free. If I recall I paid out the ass in taxes to the royal solar council composed of a greedy bitch of a goddess and her also greedy sister. Who else is a fucking alicorn anyways? Cadence rules over crystal-ville and that hasn’t been around long enough to suck some more of my money up. I hope the shop is keeping my wife and kids afloat. This war isn’t ending or really beginning anytime soon. I wish I really knew why we were up here, because if it is to just protect our borders then we have some shitty intell about what we are protecting it from. Especially this frozen fucking wasteland, it has no purpose other than to be cold.
From Shithole with love,
The IcicleDay 161 Shithole number two
The base is official, and these fuckers better be lucky I have a sense of humor still. There is way too much complaining about the same shit we all deal with, so I have some fun. This morning because I was on early morning patrol I just created a shit ton of snowponies. I even gave them antlers and came back to base to trade shifts. The guy goes out on patrol for ten minutes to run back scared shitless. I was able to hold back enough of a smile when a squadron went out to find that they were all fakes. Needless to say I still got in some trouble, but it was worth it. I even got a couple of high hooves for the prank. This shithole needs some warmth.
Smile,
Ora