After a few hours of walking you’d think that I’d be used to this block on my hoof, I’m not. It was still one of the weirdest things I’d come across so far, on par with the whole limited vision and none of the animals caring about that killer wolf. I followed the wolf for awhile but it kept stopping for no reason and finally fell down some really big crevice in the ground. After that I just decided to keep walking.
The eyes of the animals as I passed them caught my attention. I couldn’t help but notice that their eyes were always spread out far, not toward the nose or one eye looking off to the side but both of them were just on the sides of their heads…I didn’t understand this world and I felt I never would but I made a note of it in my head and kept going.
“Oh…my…Celestia, I am BORED!” I yelled at the sky after I laid on my back at stared straight up. “How am I supposed to get out of here when there is nothing but these weird block animals and open fields of NOTHING!” with that I sighed and looked to my left and noticed a tree. It was, you guessed it, square shaped. The trunk was cubical, the leaves were cubical, the entire thing…was cubical.
The constant sight of these weird cube things and the animals made from magical boxes started to seriously irritate me and I got up and ran over to the tree. “WHY IS EVERYTHING MADE OF CUBES!” I bucked the tree as hard as I could. I know the tree didn’t really do anything to me but I needed to release some of my anger on something and the tree just happened to be there. As I bucked it as hard as I could over and over I heard something each time but it didn’t register until I worked through five years of dealing with Chrysalis perfecting her princess Cadence, at first it was pretty nice since she’s actually a nice pony but after so long it’s just annoying. That’s when I heard a thud noise and turned around since the only noises I’ve heard so far were the wolf’s bark, the animals’ different sounds, and this really nice music that I couldn’t for the life of me place where it had been coming from.
When I looked at the tree I realized all the bucking I’d been doing had no effect on the tree. This confused the crap out of me since those five years I worked through were really long years and that should’ve been enough to make some kind of dent on the tree, but of course this tree had nothing wrong with it. The whole world was just weird and this tree wanted to continue the weirdness trend so prevalent around here.
Since I kicked the tree, and nothing happened, but I heard a noise, I did the most sensible thing anypony would’ve done in my position. No, not look around for the source of the noise, that's too obvious. I slammed my hoof against the tree again and that’s when I saw it. The tree had a crack in it for just a moment. What in the name of Celestia have these trees done to be this fragile and yet that sturdy, not even the trees in the Everfree Forest were this weird, and those stupid things just moved around to mess with your mind if you stopped paying attention to where you were going for even a second. I beat the tree a second time but this time twice as long…more cracks…I stopped, they disappeared. “What in the…how do you…how did it…WHAT?” I muttered in what I think was reasonable confusion because seriously, what kind of trees do that?
Determined to find out what this meant, I beat at the tree until the cracks were so intense that it actually broke and turned into another one of those floating blocks, but that kind of escaped my notice for a moment because there was a floating tree now devoid of a section of its trunk and apparently gravity was on vacation or something because it didn’t fall down or even look like anything was going to happen.
Instead of questioning it any further I made a mental note that trees learned how to conquer gravity and that I would need to learn their ways so I could fly again or something because walking was getting boring fast. I took another look at the sky and realized that the sun was starting to set but it looked pretty bright still. Then I looked behind me…darkness. Back around…light. At that point I just gave up and grabbed the block that the tree gave me and I started walking away from the tree.
That’s when I saw the lights off in the distance. Hoping to find some form of civilization I ran full speed thinking about how I’d be able to enjoy a nice bed or at least the company of something that wasn’t necessarily made of blocks. As I jumped from block to block, trying to get to the top, I heard a noise I thought wasn’t real and froze in place. I took a combat stance, I was a soldier before this and all so this shouldn’t be that much of a surprise, and turned around ready to fight even though I was utterly scared off my hooves by the sound. I thought to myself, ‘Please not be real please not be real PLEASE NOT BE REAL’ but it was real. Apparently in this world where everything was made of cubes, zombies were real.
Oh yeah, I’m afraid of zombies but don’t tell anypony back at the hive or they’d kick the snot out of me for being a coward. We aren’t supposed to fear anything since we can BE anything but zombies always took the cake for me, which was fine since I never liked cakes.
Anyway, this thing was standing on its two hind limbs but it didn’t try to attack me. That fact wasn’t really on my mind though because, again afraid of zombies, I was only thinking about how to kill the accursed thing. Once I realized that it wasn’t after me I retreated back into the shadows of the nearby trees and moved my way closer to the lights.
Slowly but surely I made it over the hill and lost sight of the foul demon plaguing this world with its moaning and constant chatter of brains…well that one didn’t say it wanted brains but that’s what they always want so I’m sure it was thinking that. Wait, can they think? Hmm, I never thought of that but I never wanted to know before anyway so whatever.
When I saw the source of lights, I was over the hill and almost cried tears of joy at the sight of buildings and fences and…well, some kind of beings. These ones stood like the zombie but their front limbs were closer to their bodies and their noses were HUGE. If you thought a cow had a big nose then wow were you in for a surprise.
And then I had a bright idea, “I wonder if they’re friendly. They can’t be any worse than that zombie back there.” So I walked closer to this place, given the size I decided it was probably a village and these were the villagers, “Hey! You in the distance!” Not to any surprise, given what I’d seen up to this point, I was ignored. Weird, the only ones who’ve ignored me before were most of the hive…unless they were beating me up for making bird houses where I thought no one could see me.
I assessed the situation again. Animals didn’t seem to notice me, wolves ignored me, these villagers ignored me, was I freaking invisible or something!? I cracked a big smile and ran around to take a look at the place. The roofs looked like they were made of some kind of wood, not exactly like the tree I broke but similar, the walls were stony or wood, they varied between houses, most had doors which seemed to react when I tapped them with my hoof, again like that tree, and there was a well filled with water. I took a good look at the well and saw that the water was pretty flat, and pushed into the typical square shape this world seemed to have. I thought about getting some since I was getting thirsty when I noticed that I didn’t have a reflection, “Wow, I really am invisible. This is cool!”
Then I heard it, a loud thud sound behind me. I turned around and saw this huge…metal…thing. Not really sure how to describe it but I’m pretty sure I heard somepony talk about something like this before and called it a “golem”. I just looked at it as it came closer since I was invisible and whatnot, why should I care that this golem getting closer to me? Then it hit me. No, not the metaphorical way where you suddenly realize something, I mean the literal bucking way where it slapped me in the face and I went flying.
“OW, WHAT THE BUCK!? I THOUGHT I WAS FREAKING INVISIBLE!” I yelled as I got up, pretty dazed from the slap I received from this metal golem. As I ran from it I heard in a solid, metallic voice “INTRUDER ALERT! INTRUDER ALERT! ELIMINATE THREAT TO VILLAGERS!” Well, at least I’m not the only one who can actually talk in this weird world. I was expecting at least maybe the cows to talk but all I got from them when I saw them was the typical “moo” so I guessed they didn’t talk here.
So I ran from the village, the one place that seemed like it might be alright for me to sit and learn this world with others that I could observe and probably learn something from by watching what they were doing. Well at least I learned that I wasn’t invisible, but if I’m not invisible then why didn’t that zombie attack me?
That thought was enough to make me stop and look behind me, the village was a good distance away and the golem apparently stopped chasing me so I just sat down and passed out from pain and exhaustion, not caring about zombies or golems or villages. That stuff could just wait for the morning.