Celestia began her tale. It was an epic story of seas boiling into mud, mountains shifting, cats and dogs living together, and mass hysteria.
“Psst”
Celestia continued her tale, because we're not doing this.
“PSST OVER HERE”
Everyone just ignore that, we're going to hear about how awesome this war was.
“Author, I could break the fourth wall at will before you made me into a god, you know that right? I could shatter it now. I could form the shards into separate worlds of my choosing. Just now I made a world without water, populated entirely by fish.”
Celestia is telling her story, because we are not doing this now.
“This is a weird time to go off explaining plot points, don't you think? You need to get everypony together or this whole thing will never move forward.”
Damnit Pinkie! We are not doing this! You’re coming up the next chapter.
Pinkie smirked, "Not doing what exactly?"
I am not doing a self insert addressing a pony that doesn't know to stop breaking the fourth wall! It's cliched, it’s old hat. It's... I'm doing it right now aren't I?
"Welcome to the party pal! There's cookies and punch by the door. Now, how are you going to handle this?" Pinkie grinned ear to ear.
I... I don't know, Celestia was talking and it seemed interesting but now you're here ruining everything.
"Ruining how exactly? You wanted everypony to be gods, here I am. Maybe we should just head back to Ponyville? I was about to go mess with Dashie. She doesn't know I can fly yet, it's totally gonna freak her out! Then I thought I'd ask her to race me around the world a few times, and then maybe go pranking. Magic and wings will make pranking even more fun!"
How did you figure so much out so quickly?
"Oh please! I practice smiles in the mirror every morning! You think I'd miss big pink wings and a foot long horn?"
I suppose that was a bit much to ask, how do you like them?
"Oh they're neato! I tried flying earlier while you were off watching Applejack's flanks."
I... was not...
"Lie to everypony else if you feel like it, I know what I saw!" She waggled her eyebrows suggestively.
Ahem! How exactly do I get you to play ball here?
"Oh we were we playing ball? That sounds fun, we should go get Dashie! She can keep bouncing them off her head a super long time! Maybe not now though, horns are pointy, I bet she can still bounce it on her butt, we should go ask her!"
You're not going away, are you?
"Nopey dopey! C'mon! Let's go wake up Dashie!"
Only if you promise to stop addressing the fourth wall so much, I can only get away with this for so long, people are going to call me a bad writer.
"You're not a bad writer, you just made a bad decision. Now come watch me mess with Dashie!"
Did you just steal Fluttershy's material?
"Shhhh! You're going to wake her up!"
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So... apparently we're watching Pinkie Pie now.
"My Pinkie Sense tells me somepony is exasperated. Now, stop being such a grumpy pants, this is gonna be fun!"
Pinkie Pie was nodding excitedly to a song only she could hear. She'd been flying around all morning getting used to the wings. She was currently hovering in the kitchen of the bakery making mass amounts of cupcakes, every object in the kitchen was surrounded by a soft pink glow. The Cakes... well they were freaking the hay out. This was their worst nightmare, Pinkie was odd enough without being a flying immortal nigh omnipotent god-like figure.
After finishing the cupcake orders for the next month Pinkie walked into the front of the bakery and grinned at her employers.
"I'm gonna go play with Dashie now, I'll be back later!"
She kissed Pumpkin and Pound on the nose. She whispered in their ears, "I love you both, but you no more mean pranks out of you two, I can fly circles around you,-" nodding to Pound "-and I can turn you into a turtle now-" looking at Pumpkin. "-do we understand one another?"
The twins nodded vigorously.
Pinkie grinned, "Good, we'll play later!"
She flew out the door.
Mr Cake shared a relieved look with his wife. “Dearest, do you suppose your mother would mind if we visited for a bit?”
Cup nodded. “I’ll send her a letter to ask, I’m sure she’d love it.”
They both looked out the door. Carrot spoke in a hushed tone. “I don’t know that the world is ready for what just walked out our door.”
Cup nodded sadly.
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Dash was asleep on a comfortable cloud. She suddenly felt something whip past her. She blinked her eyes blearily. A pink shape hovered in front of her face. She tried to remember what pink was.
The pink thing grinned at her, "Hi Dashie! Wanna race?"
This was some dream, it was weird seeing Pinkie Pie as an Alicorn. Maybe not quite as weird as how Discord looked. Or as weird as that chimera of Owlowiscious combined with Angel Bunny, Gummy, and Winona with Opal somehow as a tongue. This was a close third, second on a good day. "Sure Dream Pinkie, I'll race you! Where did you want to race to?"
"We're gonna race around the world! It's going to be so much fun, then I thought we could go pranking ponies later, then cupcakes, then some more flying, and-" Dash tiredly shoved a hoof in Pinkie's mouth. Even in her dreams Pinkie got a bit much at times. Dash yawned, "Okay, sounds awesome, let's go!"
Pinkie disappeared in a flash of pink. Dash grinned and spread her wings... and they would not stop spreading. Sweet Celestia this was a weird dream, her wings were huge! She flapped them and sped off in a chromatic flash.
She could make out Pinkie Pie now, but not much else, they were somehow already close to breaking the Rainboom barrier! Dash had never flown this fast before! Well, with the aid of gravity she had topped this, but never vertically! Yet somehow Pinkie was outpacing her by a bit! This made no sense. Her dreams were normally more awesome than this, was she really going to lose in her own dream? No, no she wasn't! She furrowed her brows, and then understanding dawned. Pinkie's horn was glowing, and the glow surrounded her whole body. Pinkie Pie was manipulating the air currents. She had a wind at her back! "Pinkie that's cheating!"
Pinkie giggled, looped back, and lazily flew circles around Dash. "You can do it too you know, probably better than I can! Just ask the wind to let you through, and carry you forward!"
"What do you mean Pinkie?" Even for a dream this was getting weird. Apparently her dreams knew how to cast spells, had she been hanging around Twilight too much lately?
"Just do it, think of the wind letting you pass through it without resistance, and pushing you along!"
Rainbow was confused, but who was she to argue with a dream? She concentrated, picturing the wind and clouds all parting to make way for the most awesome mare to ever grace the skies. Suddenly it was like she was riding a greased slide of liquid lightning. Everything blurred past her. Pinkie Pie grinned and flew alongside her, Dash could tell she was laughing but there was no sound. She'd just broken the sound barrier vertically, with little effort. She looked back, double rainboom... Pinkie's was pink, or course it was. She stopped to thank the pink mare for this wonderful dream.
Pinkie stopped with her. She grinned and hugged Rainbow Dash. She seemed so happy, of course Pinkie was always happy. Almost always. Pinkie whispered in her ear, "Wake up Dashie, you're an Alicorn!"