//------------------------------// // Chapter 6: The Princess Predicament // Story: The Trouble With Unicorns // by CartsBeforeHorses //------------------------------// “Discord!? What are YOU doing here?” Princess Celestia demanded. “Oh, just trying my idle hand at shape-shifting. Come to find out, nopony even notices you as a tree! I asked Fluttershy for good disguise ideas, and she recommended it to me. I was going to leaf you two alone but that conversation was so interesting that I simply had to comment on it.” “So I assume that you heard… everything?” Twilight asked, shirking back. “Yes, I did, Princess Twilight. Congratulations on lowering the sun, by the way, that was quite a display. Oh, and of course, since I was busy and was unable to attend, happy late congratulations on your Coronation as Princess. Glad to know your skill in magic finally got you someplace in life besides that dusty old library. “But, Princess Celestia, I must say, if you are handing out princess positions on the basis of skill in magic, why didn’t you make ME a princess? I’m great with magic!” Discord stretched his hand out and reached behind Celestia’s ear, and pulled out an ace of spades. “Was THIS your card?” Celestia yanked the card out of Discord’s hand. “I didn’t make you a prince because I don’t trust you, and your eavesdropping has confirmed my reasons for not trusting you. Even if you DID earn my trust, you are not a pony. I only award royalty positions to ponies.” Discord gasped and held up his hands to his mouth. “Not a pony, so I can’t be a princess? Really, racism, Celestia? Though I suppose I should expect as much after hearing about the way you treat those poor old unicorns. Goodness, even with my ability to divide ponies for the sake of my own power, not even I would have thought to do the things you’ve done! Bravo, you’ve outdiscorded me!” Discord clapped as he made confetti fall from the air. Celestia and Twilight brushed it off of their manes. “Just tell us what you want, Discord,” Celestia asked, inhaling deeply. “Getting testy, are we Princess? Okay, fine, I will make it brief. Make me a princess—” “Prince,” Twilight corrected. “—Prince, and I will leave you alone. I’ll even help Twilight raise the sun every day. Remember how good at it I was when I turned Ponyville into my own personal utopia? Well that way, I can raise the sun and Twilight’s magic won’t slowly decay over the years like yours and Luna’s has, and she can effectively live forever and rule the kingdom in peace and harmony for eternity! It will be like heaven on Equestria.” Celestia responded, “That would be a good deal if I didn’t already know that you don’t desire peace or harmony; you simply desire power and desire chaos to reign supreme. So no, I will not make you a prince.” “What happened to keeping your enemies close? If I’m a princess then that’s about as close to you and Twilight as I can get!” “Maybe I should have elaborated. Keep your enemies close, but don’t be an idiot and put your main adversary on a level equal to you,” Celestia scoffed. “You mean like you did with Princess Luna after SHE reformed?” “That was different,” Celestia said. “Why, because she’s a pony and I’m not? I can be a pony, too, you know,” Discord said as a flash of white light enveloped him, transforming him into a chocolate-coated unicorn stallion with a dark grey mane. “Oh, wait, I forgot, you don’t like unicorns. Hold on a second…” His horn glowed a bright yellow as two wings appeared on his back, and he was now an alicorn. “See? Now I’m perfect princess material! So when’s my Coronation? Can I get my own song? The Princess Discord cometh, behold, behold…” “The answer is still no, Discord. I made Luna into a princess because she was already a princess before and had already proven her allegiance to me. You have not.” Discord scoffed, “I thought that I had proven my allegiance to you when I reformed.” “In a way, but I still don’t fully trust you. Certainly not enough to make you a princess.” “Prince,” Discord corrected her this time, “Well if that’s the way you are going to be, then what’s the point of behaving myself at all? I could’ve been out there making chaos reign supreme this entire time. But no, I had to play goody two-shoes because I thought that you would respect that. But I guess not. “Well, fine then. If you refuse to make me a princess, I will bring about enough chaos to bring your kingdom to an end before you die. So, you have to choose what’s more important… your kingdom, or having your protégé share power with me, power which I have already promised not to abuse.” “That’s a false dilemma, Discord. We can just use the elements of harmony on you if you try any funny business,” Twilight Sparkle said. “Ah, that’s only if you can find me. I’ve been working on my shape-shifting and disguises. You won’t be able to find me as easily as you did when I was sitting on my throne atop of Ponyville out in the open. I’ll admit, I was brazen back then. But no more. This time, you won’t know where I will be or when I will be there. I can be in any place at any time. I might not even strike until weeks from now. Who knows? But I will say that after hearing of the way you treat unicorns, I think I’ll spare Canterlot. I think they’ve been through enough.” Discord disappeared in a flash of white light. Celestia paused for a moment, gathering her thoughts, then said, “Well, Twilight, looks like you’re going back to Ponyville. I want you and your friends to get the Elements of Harmony and be ready for Discord. He could pop up at any place at any time, and he can be in the form of anything, so be ready.” “Yes, Princess.” ***** At 11:00 PM, Twilight slammed open the door of her library treehouse and galloped inside. She ran across the room by the glass case containing the Elements of Harmony, waking up Spike. “Twilight? What’s got you so frantic?” “It’s Discord, Spike. He told Celestia and I that he would bring her kingdom to an end! So I came back to get the elements,” she said, lifting up the case. Spike, watching this, asked, “Uh, Twilight? Shouldn’t you be keeping those locked up in a safe someplace secret? If Discord had wanted to, he could have simply broken into the library, looked right across the room and saw that the elements were inside that transparent glass care, and then merely opened up the case and grabbed the elements and hid them from you. I mean, look, there’s not even a lock on there or anything. And that glass looks pretty flimsy, so even if there was a lock on it, he could have easily broken the glass. For a pony who was once worried so much about a disaster that you had the entire town safety-proofed, you really didn’t think this one through, did you?” “Well, Spike, I…” Twilight had wanted to say that the glass was enchanted to prevent anyone from breaking it, but that actually wasn’t true. The truth was that Twilight had made probably the biggest oversight in her life. Thank Celestia that Discord didn’t notice. “Well, I suppose I messed up, but Discord messed up too, because there was a giant security breach here that he could have exploited had he wanted to, but he didn’t because I guess he just wasn’t on his game,” Twilight said. Spike responded, “That’s cool, I guess. I’d just keep those locked up in a safe in the basement in the future, instead of in a thin glass case on the main floor of a public library where anypony can just walk in and find them.” Twilight was mortified. She was usually so much more careful than that! Celestia had given the elements to Twilight for safe-keeping in case Discord had ever decided to go bad again, and now that he had, Twilight had left the Elements completely unguarded! “Okay, Spike, I’m going to go give these elements out. I should be back in a jiffy.” Twilight ran out of the room hurriedly. ***** “But Fluttershy, Discord has turned evil! You have to use the elements or he is going to destroy Equestria!” Twilight begged, standing at the front door of Fluttershy’s cottage. “Nope. A promise is a promise, and I simply will not break it just because of a threat. I have promised Discord not to use the elements against him, and I will not. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going back to bed.” “But what if he kills ponies?” Twilight implored. But Fluttershy simply slammed the door shut in her face. “Ugh! You are so stubborn sometimes, Fluttershy! Sometimes I wish that you were still that meek scaredy pony that I met when I first came to Ponyville.” Twilight flew back off towards her treehouse. Maybe once Discord started his chaos, Fluttershy would reconsider. ***** True to his word, Discord did not strike the next day or even in the next week. Twilight spent the next week pacing around her room, worried that an impending disaster was coming. Eventually she gave up on worrying and took her mind off of things by reading and spending time with her friends, who were equally concerned. But they laughed and talked and kept their mind off of Discord as well. Another week had passed, and Twilight had almost forgotten about Discord. One day though, she walked outside to get the morning paper and saw the headlines. “Here we go…” Twilight said to herself as she read the paper. THE MANEHATTAN TIMES April 23rd, 2014 “Giving Equestria the News Since 1831” KILLER DROUGHT DESTROYS CROPS IN SOUTHERN EQUESTRIA, FOOD SHORTAGES IMMINENT The Appaloosa, Dodge Junction, Ponyville, Baltimare, and Fillydelphia regions of Equestria have recently been hit by a terrible drought. Temperatures have been in the 100s Fahrenheit for the past few weeks in these cities and the surrounding areas, and there has been zero rainfall. Pegasi have attempted to bring in clouds with much-needed rain, but the clouds have evaporated before they could be made to rain. Farmers are now reporting that their corn and wheat crops are dying. “It’s really bad,” reports farmer Corn Rows of Dodge Junction. “We haven’t been able to grow anything at all this year. It’s planting season right now and if this drought doesn’t ease up in time, we won’t have any crops to harvest. This is the worst drought I have ever seen in my life.” The last major drought of this magnitude was the Great Famine of 1721, when a particularly dry season killed 90% of Equestria’s crops. Thousands of ponies died from famine. Today, some grocers and food sellers are already reporting long lines and shortages. “I’ve almost completely run out of cherries,” said one Ponyville fruit vendor. “They’ve just quit shipping them to me. This is my last one. I’ll give it to you for twenty bits.” At last glance, ponies were lined up around the block for loaves of bread, apples, celery, and other food items. However, the drought has not affected everypony. The City of Canterlot as well as the surrounding hills and valleys have been unaffected, though with its majority unicorn population the city has never seen much farming activity. However, farm equipment magnates Flim and Flam vow to change that. “We can prevent a famine by growing crops in Canterlot!” The older brother Flam told reporters. “Even though there’s not a whole lot of earth ponies here in Canterlot, it doesn’t really matter because our tractor and combine harvester machines enable one pony to do the work of hundreds. Even a unicorn or pegasus can operate these machines if they happen to have earth pony blood in them, for instance if their parents were earth ponies. We’ll have crops planted here in a matter of weeks. We’re even giving new customers in the area a 50% discount!” Continued on page two. “Griffons Attempt to Negotiate Peace Treaty with Zebras,” P. 4, Global. “Dr. Fritz to Release New Magic Book” P. 6, Books. “Manehattan Cougars Beat Vanhoover Hawks 42-23” P. 7, Sports. ***** Twilight set the paper down. Could this be the crisis that Discord had brought about? It hardly seemed that chaotic, since droughts happened in nature all the time. Though it did seem to be a deliberate attempt to hurt the nation of Equestria. If the drought was bad enough, then ponies could indeed starve to death. Twilight ran over to Applejack’s farm. She knocked on the barn door and Applejack answered. “Oh, hey there Twilight. Come on in, we’re just tryin’ to stay cool in this heat.” Inside the house, the Apple family had set up a large electric fan in the corner, which blew cold air across the room. Big Macintosh sat on the couch, his tongue hanging from his mouth as sweat dripped down his forehead. Twilight asked, “Applejack, have you been reading the news lately?” “No, I haven’t been. You know I don’t pay no attention to politics and the like.” “Well, it has to do with the weather. Apparently there’s a drought that’s hit all of the southern part of Equestria and has been killing crops!” Applejack responded, “Well shoot, Twi. I knew it was hot but I figured it was just Ponyville. I had no idea it was all of Equestria.” “Yeah. And I think I know who’s behind it.” “Discord?” Applejack asked. “Eeeeyup,” Twilight responded. Big Macintosh sat up, looked over and raised an eyebrow at Twilight. “Sorry, I know that’s your catchphrase,” Twilight apologized sheepishly. Big Macintosh simply shrugged and lay back down. “Oh, don’t mind him, sugarcube. He’s just been out there waterin’ the apple trees, so he’s exhausted. So, about Discord. What are we gonna do to stop him, if the drought really is him?” “I have no idea, Applejack. I was hoping maybe you would know. You’re the farmer.” “True,” Applejack responded, “I do know a lot about farmin.’ But I don’t know a lick about stoppin’ demigods from causin’ a drought. “ “Well, we should get the others and let them know, at least. That way, maybe we can form an action plan,” Twilight said. Applejack agreed and they ran off and gathered the others. ***** That afternoon in Twilight’s treehouse, she and her friends were all gathered around on the main floor discussing the drought. “We gotta solve this right quick,” Applejack said, “Or my apples are gonna start wiltin’ on the trees! And with the mayor puttin’ us on every-other-day waterin’ restrictions, there’s only so much we can do to keep those trees healthy.” “You’re telling me,” Pinkie Pie said, “We’ve had flour and sugar shortages over at Sugarcube Corner. We can’t even make our delicious treats anymore! That meanie Discord!” “Well, the Pegasi cloud-moving teams have had their hands full trying to get rain down here,” Rainbow Dash reported, “We’ve already missed two scheduled thundershowers because of this drought. The clouds are just evaporating into thin air before we can get them anywhere. But we keep trying.” “And the rivers and lakes have been really low,” said Fluttershy, “The beavers have been complaining that they can’t make their dams, and the fish are awfully crowded in those lakes. If it gets much lower, they might start dying off.” “And this dry air has been horrid on my hair. My mane and tail are so brittle and full of static! And just LOOK at how straight my curls are now,” Rarity complained. The other five ponies rolled their eyes at her. “What? A fashion emergency is just as much of an emergency as anything else,” she said. Twilight said, “So we need to figure out how to stop Discord from doing this; we need to locate him so we can go use the elements of harmony on him. But remember, he can change his form. He can be anyone, or anything.” Rainbow Dash asked, “Well, normally to change the temperature you have to move the sun closer or farther from the earth. So Twilight, have you and Princess Celestia been keeping the sun at the right distance?” "Yes, we have,” said Twilight, “And as far as we can tell, Discord isn’t directly interfering with the sun itself. If he had, the drought would be everywhere, but it isn’t. The drought has mainly hit the farming areas of Equestria. It hasn’t even affected Canterlot.” “So it’s not the sun. Alright, so what else can cause heat?” Fluttershy asked. “Dragon fire,” Rarity said, “but I don’t think there are any dragons around here.” “I haven’t seen any,” said Fluttershy, “And believe me, I keep track.” “What about the greenhouse effect? If there are greenhouse gases in the air over Equestria, that could trap the sun’s rays and cause the air to heat up, which would cause a drought,” Twilight said. “Where would the gases come from, though? And how would Discord make ‘em?” Applejack asked. Twilight answered, “Magic, maybe? I don’t know of a spell to make greenhouse gases, but maybe Discord does.” “I doubt it,” said Rainbow Dash, “If you don’t know of a spell to do something, chances are that there isn’t a spell to do it.” “Oh, well I wouldn’t say that…” Twilight blushed. “Don’t be modest Twi, why you’re the best magician there is. If you say there ain’t a spell, then there ain’t a spell,” Applejack said. “I think his magic works on slightly different properties than mine, though,” Twilight said, “and he can probably cast different types of spells.” “Okay, then let’s say he can do anythin’ he wants to. How would he make the air heat up?” Applejack asked. “Well, I guess he could just will it to heat up directly,” said Twilight. “That doesn’t leave us with much of a plan,” said Rainbow Dash. “Let’s say that he couldn’t heat it up directly, but could do anything else. Then how would he do it?” Twilight answered, “I guess he could open up the earth’s crust and expose the mantle. THAT would heat things up in a hurry. Rainbow and Rarity, remember when we went to go find Spike after he ran off to the badlands? Remember how hot it was? But there’s not a giant rift in the earth that’s opened up recently.” “Correction,” said Rainbow Dash, “There’s not one that you KNOW of. Twi, follow me.” Rainbow dash galloped out the door and shot into the sky. “Uh, I guess I’ll be right back?” Twilight said as she hurried along after Rainbow Dash. The cyan pegasus was already hundreds of feet up in the air. Twilight flapped her own wings and became airborne. “Wait up, Rainbow Dash!” Twilight called as she followed. She was not nearly as fast as her friend. Rainbow oliged and allowed Twilight to catch up. She said, “Okay Twilight, we’re going to do a little inspection. Are you in good shape? The air’s about to get pretty thin up where we’re going. "Uh, I guess I’m in decent shape,” Twilight replied. “Good. Then let’s go. And don’t look down!” The two raced upwards thousands more feet until they were miles in the air. Twilight’s lungs were burning as she struggled to keep up. “Almost there! Come on!” Rainbow encouraged her friend. “Couldn’t… you... have… done this… alone?” Twilight panted, coated in sweat. “Yeah, probably. But come on, this is a great view!” They flew up for a few more minutes until Rainbow Dash stopped. “Okay, Twilight, remember when I said you couldn’t look down? Well, you can look down now!” Twilight turned her gaze towards the earth. Her heart skipped a beat. She could see for hundreds of miles around her. She could see all the way from the mountaintop capital of Canterlot to the north, to Ponyville beneath her, to the badlands to the south and everywhere in between. However, there was one thing which caught her eye. Smoke was coming from Ghastly Gorge, the canyon just south of Ponyville. “I think we’ve just found the rift,” Rainbow Dash said. Twilight nodded in agreement as the two descended back towards the earth.