Poking Pinkie Pie in the Pooper

by KingofSquirrelz

Moooooo

Copper.
 
It was an odd taste, a really unique flavor.  At the back of your throat, the metal taste seems the stick as the rush of blood now trickled from the side of your tongue. Copper tasting blood though, you know meant you haven’t been getting enough iron.
 
You would have to go to the pharmacy and pick some up.
 
Now, though, you had a few of problems. You had bitten your tongue and now could only taste copper. You were also balls deep into your newest herd member, who had wanted to keep your relationship publically secret until she was re elected. Several police ponies were now staring you down, but thankfully, were too distracted by the fact that your meat was still inside said member.
 
Well it wasn’t much of a secret now.
 
Upstairs, you had Dazzle, who was covered in weighted seed and most likely was still recovering from the concussion you had given her. To top it all off, there across from you was Carrot Cake who was smiling like a filly who just had gotten a piece of candy.
 
“Well ‘Frost’, I must say you have gotten a reputation since I left. Glad you liked the attention, because now is where everything goes downhill,” Carrot said as he slid several pieces of paper on the table.
 
Carrot was calm, and you couldn’t help but wonder why the police were here of all things. You were sure you haven’t done anything illegal. Well, there was the tenderloin, but that was a secret to even Pinkie.

Well you thought that it was.
 
“What are you doing here?” Mary said picking up her frames from the table edge, “I am pretty sure you are no longer welcome here.”
 
“Carrot, I am sure you probably have some really dick thing to say, but as you can see I am quite busy not carrying about you or your opinion right now,” You say, trying your hardest to sound like a asshole while refraining from using foul language.
 
“Well…” Carrot said tapping the paper that was on the table. “As of six AM, I am the official proprietor of this establishment. As such I am very politely asking you to leave per our agreement. You have had thirty days to vacate, I see not even a single moving box either, such a shame.”
 
“Actually sir,” a small statured stallion with thick purple frame side stepped to the table, “we still need to check Cup Cake’s status, then if her name appears then we will move on with the arrangement.”
 
You had no idea what they were talking about, Mary though looked like she was about to decapitate a pony.
 
“Carrot you know more than well Cup Cake still owns the shop. She has yet to sign anything over to you. Nor would she ever, she has full custody of the children and the store until—“
 
“Until our divorce is completely finalized, which happened on Monday. Which leads me to our next arrangement I need your hand, “Carrot said looking at you. “We need to check my dear ex-wife’s status.”
 
Huh?
 
“What?” you say still trying to grasp the situation.
 
The small statured stallion forced out a cough and slid a piece of paper in front of you.
 
“I must apologize for the confusing, my name is Dexter. I am the legal aid of Carrot Cake. I this piece of paper is enchanted so that we may take legal documentation of the mares and stallions that are currently under your care.”
 
“Under MY care?” you repeated.
 
“It’s a herding slip,” Mary said with venom dripping from her voice. “It makes a list of every mare who has joined your herd since you started. I know what you’re trying to do Carrot and it’s not going to happen.”
 
“Please,” Carrot said ignoring the disgruntled mare, ”we haven’t got all day, and refusing to cooperate could result in bumps down the road; isn’t that right, Mary?”
 
You only looked at Mary and she gave you a nod. Whatever in the hell was going on you were sure happy she was there to give you counsel. First though, you had to make yourself descent, legal talk wasn’t your foray and being eight inches deep in the mare telling you what is what wasn’t helping.
 

You sat there looking at the blank parchment, “So, all I need to do is put my hand on this?” Mary nodded, “What happens if I do? I’m not signing anything, am I?”
 
“No, it just reads of who has joined your herd,” Mary restarted, “There is nothing legal about it, though, because Carrot has no claim to the store.”
 
That was all that you needed to hear, you nodded and put your hand on the parchment. It turned black for a second, and a list of names started to appear on the paper.
 
1 ~ Pinkie Pie
2 ~ Cup Cake
3 ~ Cheerilee Cheers
4 ~ Diamond Tiara
5 ~ Mayor Mary Mare
 
Your eye twitched a little as you read the names off inside your head, there was one too many names. A certain filly was on the list, you had joined her herd so there shouldn’t be any reason why she was listed on there.
 
“Robbing the cradle I see,” Carrot said with a smirk. “Well I can’t say I am surprised, seems nothing is sacred to you. Oh well, it’s not my place to judge. I just want what is mine and nothing more. As we can all plainly see, Cup Cake is a member of your herd,” Carrot said, sliding the paper over to his legal servant.
 
“What of it?” You said, “It’s not like it matters—“
 
“Oh, but it does. Mayor Mare please inform him, I don’t think he realized what he was getting into when he started herding.”
 
You only gave Mary a side glance as she now was staring daggers into the stallion.
 
“Since Cup Cake filed for a divorce, they were separated until Carrot signed the paperwork. While they were separated, the store and the children fell under her name.  Normally, if they sire a child, the property would go to the mother and—“
 
“—and if the mare join another’s herd. The stallion can reclaim his property,” Carrot said bitterly, “Since my dear now ex-wife is now happily tied down. I am by every right entitled to ‘Sugarcube Corner’, since it was mine in the first place.”
 
Mary shook her head, “You can’t just walk in here and demand it. It take months to finalize a divorce and even then they have thirty days to evacuate.”
 
“Unless, I have a signed waiver from the mayor saying that I can exercise my right to claim, which I just so happened to have right here,” Carrot placed a light blue parchment on the table. “You should know it well enough, you’re the one who signed it. I must say I am kind of shocked that you didn’t know, but I guess this is fate.”
 
Mary never even gave the letter a passing glance, “I never signed any such thing, you know full well forgery is a crime and—“ the blood in Mary’s face drained as she finally looked at the document.
 
Several moments passed where nothing but the shuffling of the police were heard. You still had no idea what in the world was going on, legal formalities was not your forte. What you did know is that Carrot was trying to pull something out of his ass.
 
“Remind you of something Mary?” Carrot said with a sickening smirk, “I am sure you know it—“
 
If the police weren’t there, Carrot would have had a new divot in the center of his forehead. Mary almost leapt across the table only to be held down by two sets of stallion hooves.
 
“Temper,” Carrot said with a smirk, “you know when I alerted these fine gentle ponies that I needed protection I didn’t think it would be from you of all ponies.”
 
“You bastard, you lied to me!” Mary yelled with her head pressed to the table.
 
You backhanded the legs of the police ponies who were holding Mary down. It was a tiny bit too hard as both nearly toppled over on themselves. The five others tried to replace the missing set but you pulled the mare near you. She was trembling and still giving Carrot the death glare.
 
“It wouldn’t be wise to harm a lady in front of me,” was all the warning you gave them. It was enough for them to take a step back from the table. You turned to Carrot, “So. What do you want Carrot?”
 
“Simple, for you all to leave, right now you are trespassing.”
 
Now that was simple enough to understand.  Even you had to use the breathing exercise Twilight thought you to stay calm. Although it was far easier than you would like to admit.  You wanted to ring his neck, but doing it in front of the police was a dumb move on any part.
 
“I didn’t know I promise,” Mary said with tears starting to border her eyes, “that’s not the paper I signed… well, it is, but it’s not the one I thought it was.”
 
“I see, well, it will take a moment to gather some of our things,” You said, eyeing the police in the corner of your eye. You knew full well Mary would carelessly sign over your home, especially after last night.
 
“I’m sorry, but everything upstairs that hadn’t been claimed was signed off by your little friend here. Since the store was mine before we got married, since you and Pinkie rented I will be sure to send your stuff sometime in the next few months,” Carrot said with a venomous grin.
 
This was a problem, getting your stuff wasn’t the hard part. It was just things, nothing too important. The biggest worry was Dazzle, her personal lifestyle was highly frowned upon, since she was married. If she was spotted covered in seed, there wouldn’t be a single doubt in anyone’s mind where it came from.
 
You did promise you would keep it a secret.
 
“I have some personal matters I have up there that I need to attend to. Some very private, as you can see, though. I can’t just leave everything there,” You said calmly.
 
The stoic stallion from the back now took his place next to the table.
 
“I know how it is, but we must ask you to leave immediately. Such events tend to get dramatic if drawn out. If you wish to sign an appeal we can draw up the paperwork—“
 
Carrot raised his hoof, “Come now, let’s not be rude. We did come unannounced I will be willing to give him two hours to pack his things. On one condition.”
 
“Oh and what is that?” raising a brow slightly to his ‘generosity’.
 
“Ask me nicely,” Carrot stated.
 
“Carrot would you please—“
 
“No, no, no, that will not do.” Carrot said with a vile smirk growing on his lips. “Get on your knees, bow, head down at my hooves and ask me nicely for you to get your things.”
 
Now you wanted to hit him, even your hand started to tremble a little. He was reveling in the fact that you couldn’t touch him.
 
“That’s absurd!” Mary said slamming her hoof on the table. “You don’t really expect him to do—“
 
Her voice caught in her throat as she watched you get from the table. You moments were almost ghostly as you got down to your knees. You were never going to break your word.

Ever.
 
Both knees flat on the ground, head bent down, eyes closed and both your palms flat on the floor. Even the police ponies were taken back by this. Mary just looked away, this was all her fault.
 
“Carrot...” You said taking in shallow breaths, “Please allow me to gather some my stuff—“
 
“Oh you must be joking, I’m not just kicking you out. Cup Cake and my dear twins are going with you as well. I sadly don’t have the right to claim them.”
 
You took in several heavy breaths as you realized this was a personal attack to Cup Cake as well, but to drag his children into it.  
 
“Please allow me and mine to gather our things.” You said with your head hanging just a few inches above the floor.
 
“I think… no. I changed—“
 
Crack-snap
 
It went through with little effort, as you put your fist straight through the floorboards leaving a nice hole into the basement below. Head still bowed.
 
“I’m sorry, my hand accidently fell straight through the hard wood flooring. What was that last thing you said?”
 
Carrots eye twitch as he watched you remove your hand from the ground and even the police took a step back from you. None of them had believe what they heard of the human’s strength… until now. What was also off setting to them was that your hand barely had more than a few scrapes.
 
“Well… I think I had a small change of heart. I wouldn’t want to be known for going back on my  word. You have two hours,” Carrot said, now making his way towards the door. “Oh and the damage to the floor is coming out of Cup Cake’s pay.  Oh and tell Cup Cake I want to talk to her later. Just don’t be here when I get back, I don’t want any more repeats of what happened last time.”
 
You looked up with a slight smile, “Oh by whatever do you mean?”
 
You weren’t dumb enough to admit anything, if Carrot was able to pull you out of the house with a few pieces of paper who knows what he cooked up.
 
Carrot only shot a irrigated glance back before he left out the front door. Next to leave was the paralegal and the police ponies that accompanied him.  The police ponies that tried to restring Mary were limping a little more than usual.
 
You look at your hand that went through the floorboard. Not a single scratch was on the skin, nor was there any pain. You only wanted to scare him, which you had done, but now this meant something worse.
 
“You didn’t have to put a hole in the floor,” Mary said almost reading your mind.
 
“My weight is starting to come back to me again, I really didn’t mean too.”
 
Which was true, your real weight had always been a problem. Right now, the only thing stopping you from tearing straight through the floor was a spell, designed by Twilight. All you know is that she is an ace when it comes to magic spells, because it works like a charm. Unfortunately, the effect of the spell is not permanent.
 
Having a human with the weight of a titan parading around town was not the ideal for most ponies. Although very few select ponies even knew about it, and those who did really didn’t care.
 
Twilight was gone, though, and there was only one other solution. A sadly less effective, more costly way to keep your real weight in check. A ‘failed’ drug that was designed to help earth ponies and unicorns walk on clouds. Although it was enough to make sure you didn’t break the stuff around you it was not as effective or convenient as Twilight’s magic.
 
What was the worst part of it was the cost. Each pill was almost twenty bits, and to make things worse, the pharmacist who sells them is a racist. Your inner penny pincher didn’t like the idea of spending money that magic could do better and for free.
 
On the bright side you now could get some iron supplements while you were there. Two birds, one stone.
 
“I’m sorry…” Mary said, looking down at the hole in the floor, “I didn’t mean to get you kicked out…”
 
You looked over to her getting up off the ground easily. You were now more worried about the spell fading while you were inside the house, or there would be a much bigger hole in the floor soon.
 
“Don’t worry about it, I know you wouldn’t try to get me and Cup Cake kicked out on purpose. Although I am a little curious as to how Carrot tricked you.”
 
Mary had always been known for going over everything, to the tiniest detail. To have her not read over something and blindly sign her name away must had been very powerful or Carrot must be the most persuasive pony in existence.
 
She looked at you with her eyes almost pleading for fogginess. “He said it was a bill of documentation from Milky Way’s Dairy in Trottingham… He said if I signed it there would be a delivery coming in every week instead of once a month.  I thought if there was more milk—“
 
“I see,” You said, cutting her off. You remembered how you had gotten to know Mary so well. It was Trottingham milk that started it all. Those cows must be something magical. Every Sunday night, when all the other mares were passed out drunk, you two would sneak downstairs and each have a bottle of the forbidden creamy goodness that tasted like happiness in a cup.
 
More milk meant more time, more time meant more hanging out with you.
 
In sort of a twisted way, you brought this down on yourself.
 
“Don’t worry,” Mary said with renewed vigor. “I know how to get you house back. It may take a week or so but I know I can. I just need to file the right appeal.”
 
Our give her a reassuring nod, “Fine but you have to do the hard part now.”
 
Mary’s heart sank a bit, “What is that?”
 
“You’re the one going to tell Cup Cake about our unexpected move,” You said, now offering her a hand.
 
She cringed, this was not going to go well.
 

You were surprised that Mary survived without getting hit. Although, you did intercept a flying lamp. You had now figured out that light fixtures were Cup Cake’s prefered weapon of choice.   Although it didn’t make a mark on your skin, which meant that your body was starting to take on its normal properties. You were hoping more than anything that you didn’t fall through the floor.
 
Good thing the pharmacy was not two blocks away. You only needed one single pill, and you would be set for at least a few hours.
 
Cup Cake, however, didn’t take the news about being evicted very well. There was more than enough yelling, words said that even you didn’t know.  Although there was something that did calm her though, she was free.
 
She was no longer was attached to Carrot. Losing the house meant losing Carrot, it wasn’t a huge price to finally be rid of him. Which meant she was now free to… get married again.
 
A idea that sent a warming chill down her spine when she looked at you. She knew it was a far off fantasy, but it felt nice and comforting.
 
Pumpkin and Pound woke up early. Thankfully, they were sated by a meal that Mary made. She was trying her hardest to redeem herself as fast as she possibly could. Unfortunately, Pumpkin was in one of her ‘needy’ moods.
 
She wanted attention from you. You were far more than willing to give it to the little girl. Legally she was your responsibility. Which meant in your mind that you had a daughter and a son now.

It was almost like a early Christmas gift.
 
Dazzle almost cried her thanks, Mary had told her what you had to go through to buy her time. You didn’t care much about it but to her it was far more precious.  Now though, she was in the bath with Pumpkin. You were the only one strong enough to help wash away your… essence.

It was starting to regain its weight as well. Even under the influence of the spell it weighed around fifteen pounds. You didn’t know how much it weighs otherwise, but it left three bruises on her chest and she had a black eye from her shotgun blast last night.
 
“You sure you husband isn’t going to mind? I don’t want him to hate me.” You said as you hand washed her coat making sure to even get the under fur.
 
“Don’t worry about it, I will tell him what happened. You don’t need to bathe me though, I am a grown mare.” It was she said but she was acting like a filly. She even played with Pumpkins toy boat. Pumpkin however was playing around in the large pool of bubbles.
 
“It’s ok, it is my mess after all,” You said, as you now started to gingerly rub her tummy free of filth.
 
Cup trotted in the bathroom, her face was matted with sweat. Her new curly mane was slightly matted against her face. Her tail was flat and her eyes were starting to darken from lack of sleep.
 
“What did Carrot want to talk about?” Cup asked in a raspy voice, she would still be yelling at Mary if her voice had not started to crack.
 
You shrugged.
 
“He just said he wanted to talk to you alone is all. You don’t have to if you don’t want too.” You said as you finished cleaning Dazzle’s coat, mostly because the little filly wanted to play with her ‘dad’.
 
“I don’t know… what are we going to do about a place to stay?” Cup asked you, something which you liked. It meant that she depended on you for more than her physical needs.
 
“That is our last worry, Hun,” she blushes slightly at your affectionate word. “I have a little over a thousand bits in savings plus two thousand we got from yesterday. Not to mention there are three different inns in town we can stay at for next to nothing. I am sure we can find some lodging somewhere.”
 
Dazzle and Cup just looked at each other and then back at you.
 
“You do know the Spring Frolic is this weekend right?  There will be tons of mares out and about this weekend looking for a mate for Hearts and Hooves day on Sunday.”
 
Then you remembered. Hearts and Hooves day. You weren’t together last year with anyone but even you could pick up on the importance of the day. If you remembered correctly, the Spring Frolic was nothing more than annual event were mares get completely hammered and try their luck with anything with four hooves and a penis.
 
You didn’t participate last year, you were too busy getting gawked at by royals who didn’t know what a human was.  Back when you were popular.
 
“Well they can’t all be filled,” You said reassuringly, “If anything, we can try our luck at Sweet Apple Acres, I’m sure I can strike a deal with them.” You said with a insidious smile.
 
“What do you have in mind?” Cup said.
 
“When I first came here I was eating a apple from my world. I have seven apple seeds from my world that I can barter with.” You were going to try your luck when you and Pinkie found your own place at growing earth apples, but making sure that your charges have a place to rest their heads was more important.
 
“Daddy!” Pumpkin cried and she waved her tiny hooves in the air. The five seconds you looked away from her was far too long.
 
You pick her out of the now murky waters and start giving her tummy kisses and blows against her wet fur. She truly was a daddy’s girl. You promised you would always take care of her and Pound, it was the only promise that you couldn’t even conceive to break.
 
“I know our place is small but if you want you could come and spend some time at our home.” Dazzle said getting out of the tub, her coat now freed from the weight of your seed.
 
“No it’s alright,” Cup said dismissal, “Wait… what are we going to do about Epona?”
 
You had almost forgotten about the sleeping pegasus in the other room. She had been asleep since late last night. You could only laugh a little at the thought, you two were now in the same boat.
 
Well, if anything maybe you could come with her to Sweet Apple Acres. You did want to get to know her a little bit better, and not because she had a really fine flank.
 
Well… Not entirely.
 
As you got up, the little filly grappled onto your left bicep. She didn’t want you to leave her side . You only smiled at the sentiment. If she wanted to be held, who were you to say no.  
 
“How about you and me get Auntie Epona up, hmm?” you cooed at Pumpkin winning you a huge grin.
 
Dazzle was a little miffed that she was forgotten the moment the filly wanted your attention. She wanted you to dry her off. It was nothing she couldn’t do on her own, but it was nice getting attention. Cup Cake went to check on Pound in the other room. Her mind was elsewhere at that moment, what did Carrot want to talk about?
 

Ron-tank-a-link
 
A large reinforced wagon gingerly trundled through the woods. Nothing deterred the gait of the massive red earth pony, not even his shaggy ginger mane, which constantly drooped into his vibrant green eyes. He pulled the wagon over tree roots and bushes, forging his own path through the underbrush. The golden gilding on his sword’s scabbard gleamed merrily in the early evening light.
 
In the carriage seat of the wagon was a mare with bright green eyes. She had a light orange coat and the blondest sun-kissed mane that anyone had ever laid eyes upon. Her most noticeable feature was her belly. There was not one, but three foals now eagerly waiting take their first breaths.
 
In the back of the wagon, laying on a pile of furs, was a second earth stallion. One who did nothing but smile and look at the trees above. He had a tan coat and a keen eye for detail, but his most distinguishing feature was the curved scar that marred his chest.
 
“So, Apple Blossom,” the stallion in the back of the wagon called out, “what do you think little Apple Bloom is going to say when you tell her that she is going to have three little sisters or brothers?”
 
“C’mon dad,” the stallion pulling the cart yelled back, “you already asked that. Leave my wife alone for a bit.”  Apple Blossom only chuckled a little, she was far more than a little weak from her travels.  “What are you going to do when mom gets ahold of you? We were supposed to be here almost two months ago.”
 
“She won’t be mad. I got good news for her, and she won’t be mad at me much longer. I also have to tell you two something.” The stallion said in a serious tone of voice.
 
“What, you’re finally going to retire so we can all settle down?” Both Apple Blossom and Macintosh Sr. laughed a little, although Apple Blossom’s laugh came out in more of a raspy wheeze.
 
“Actually yes, this was our last treasure hunt son.”
 
Macintosh stopped in his tracks and looked back almost in a daze.
 
“Really dad?  Are you sure?” Almost as if it was a dream. Since he was a little colt his father had been scouring Equestria to find ancient relics and hidden fortunes.
 
“It’s time to settle down, son. I’m sure little Macintosh, Applejack and Apple Bloom want their mom and dad back. I can’t keep you two to myself forever.”  He yawned as he leaned forward, laying his belly on the furs.
 
“Dad treasure hunting is—“
 
“My family is my life silly, now I sent a letter ahead a few days ago telling them to expect us. I’m sure Mama Smith is planning something special.”  He hopped off the wagon and almost sank a clear foot into the hard ground.
 
“Where are you going dad?” the mare asked in a squeak. She tried to move but the three little ones inside her protested and made her still.
 
“Never you mind, I have some unfinished business left to take care of, and I need to get it done before nightfall. Tell Mama Smith that I’ll see her later tonight.” Even with his estranged rambling, he took his old famous satchel.
 
“Dad, if you going to go off alone at least take the sword with you,” he tried to unhook himself from the wagon but his father only shook his head.
 
“The sword is yours now son, it won’t answer my call, even if I was at death’s door. Besides, there is nothing in this old forest that can beat me in a fight, and you need something to protect Apple Blossom.” He gave a gentlemanly nod over to his daughter-in-law.
 
Macintosh thought for a moment before turning to the direction of Sweet Apple Acres. “Just don’t get into too much trouble, dad. I know the way you get when you’re out and about.”

He huffed.
 
“Quiet you, and get going. Sweet Apple Acres is only about ten or so minutes away.”
 
Apple Blossom looked back, “You’re going to be home when the triplets will be born right? They’ll be coming any day now.”
 
The stallion nodded, “Don’t worry, I wouldn’t miss it for the world. I just need to tie up a few loose ends is all. Besides I’ll be back later today.”
 
The stallion waited until his son pulled the wagon out of sight, before he opened his satchel, and pulled out his favorite black duster coat and started to get dressed.
 
 “Now,” he said to himself, as he raised a front hoof slightly into the air and stamped it into the dirt, kicking up a cloud of dust and leaving a small crater. It took less than a moment for the sound to reverberate around the wooded area. There he stood for several minutes waiting. For a being of pure lightning, she was awfully slow in his opinion.

Finally, after a good fifteen minutes, black clouds started to form over the entirety of the Everfree. With a flash of light that encompassed the wooded area and incinerated a part of the grass on the knoll, a pegasus suddenly appeared.
 
Her mane was made of the purest form of lightning. Her wings looked like they were made from blue crystals that hummed when the wind hit them just right. What was her most astonishing feature those were her eyes.

They were white, she was as blind as a bat but could just as easily sense the flow of those around her.
 
“It has been a while Ixion, I am glad to see you are well,” The stallion said with a smile.
 
“It has been far too long master,” Ixion said, taking a low bow, “You haven’t changed a bit in these past five years.” He took it as a compliment.
 
“Ixion, I summoned you for a reason, I need a rainstorm and a large one. Can you do that for me?” Grandpa Apple said getting right to the point, with no deviations.
 
Ixion looked up as her pure white eyes bore into the body before her.
 
“As you wish master, but this is the Spring of our fifth year. You must renew our contract soon.” Ixion said with a smile. She lifted her tail into the air, and released the musk of the lightning monster.
 
The heat comes to every single mare, there are no exceptions.
 
“I understand, come see me later and we will renew our bond, but for now I need a rainstorm and the heavier the rain the better.”
 
Ixion only nodded, she had been in the service of her master for a very long time, and he had never broken his word. She was going to get some, and soon. But, for now, she had a job to perform. A completely simple task, for a being that was virtually made of weather.
 
“Remember Ixion, don’t—“
 
“Do not worry master, I have not harmed a single soul since we made our pact and I will continue to do so until our bond is severed. No one shall come to harm around me,” Ixion said, almost as if she could read her master’s mind.
 
“Good.”
 

“Thank you anyway,” You said to the receptionist as you left out the front door.
 
Your eye twitched slightly as you and your companions sat down on the nearest bench only half a block down the street.  In your arms was Pumpkin, since you left the bathroom that morning she refused to leave your arms.
 
Literally.
 
 She would start to cry otherwise. You didn’t mind it though, if she wanted to be held, she would be held. Having her smile and giggle at you as carried her was one of the greatest things in the world.
 
Epona, though, was having a slightly easier time. She was in charge of carrying Pound, or more accurately, Pound wanted her to carry him. Since the very moment Pound saw her he was completely transfixed on her. You started to wonder just how young when colts could develop crushes, the young colt was almost drooling at the sight of her.

He had good taste in mares.
 
Even so, the little guy cuddled her like she was his second mother. Maybe it was a pegasus thing.  Epona, however, wasn’t liking the attention very much.
 
“Where do we go from here?” Epona asked, trying to pry the tiny pegasus off her wing.
 
You had not wanted to go to Sweet Apple Acres just yet, part of you were hoping to find a place for to rent. Alas, Cup Cake was right. Every single inn and hotel was completely booked up.  The worst part of it was your real weight was getting more and more noticeable. The ground now started to sink in whenever you took a step.
 
Pumpkin, though, was having a field day being carried by ‘dad’.  Her smile nearly lit up the town.  On the upside you were out of a job so you didn’t have to make almost two thousand cupcakes. On the downside side, you were out of a job.
 
Crap.
 
“I think we might head off to Sweet Apple Acre now.” You hated to admit it, but you needed to find a place for Pumpkin and Pound to sleep. Not to mention Cup Cake and Epona. If you were lucky, you could all bunk in the same room.
 
Both you and Epona froze on the bench as the smell of rotten muck.  One of the little ones just soiled their diaper. You looked down in terror at the little filly. After checking her backside you had proven to get the lucky draw.
 
Pound pooped.
 
You tried to pry the little stallion off Epona, but he refused to let go of her wings. You didn’t want to try and force him off, with your weight floating on its own accord, it would be way too easy to hurt the little guy.
 
“Epona, I know it’s asking a lot, but can you change Pound? It seems like he doesn’t want to leave your side.” You didn’t want to pass the buck but he really needed a change.
 
“I… what… me?” Epona said almost flaring out her angel white wings.
 
“I have a spare diaper in the bag, there is a changing station in the girls room over there.” You could thank Pinkie Pie for that knowledge since she dragged you into there for… fun.
 
Heat drives mares to do the craziest things.
 
Epona just looked at you and down to the bag. Her day had just begun getting more and more eventful. Her secret desire to be by your side was getting magically fulfilled. The foals were a new addition that she could handle, although, in her many years of life she had never had to change a diaper before.
 
It couldn’t be that hard, right? And if it made you happy, she was more than willing to help.
 
“Ok, I’ll be right back,” Epona stated.
 
You watched her walk away with the colt that was grinning from ear to ear. He was going to get some personal alone time with his new crush. That left you alone on the bench with a filly on your lap who was using your body as her own personal pillow.
 
Her small delightful yawns were just what were needed to set you off on your own yawning spree. You had been up for almost two days with only a few hours of sleep. It was amazing that you were even still capable of standing.
 
The light breeze and the sound of birds chirping made for the best of atmospheres to be in right at that moment, It was one of the small blessings that you can look forward to. To enjoy the little things.
 
“Frost?” it may have been a moment, or it may have been hours since you closed your eyes, in reality, it was not even fifteen seconds.
 
You ears perk up at the sound of one of your favorite customers, Derpy. On her back was her daughter, Dinky. Her tiny horn sparked as she looked at you and not tried her best to hide behind her mother’s mane.
 
“Morning Derpy, morning little sis,” You had taken to calling her that for almost your entire time knowing her. She couldn’t correctly pronounce your real so she simply called you big brother.
 
“Morning big brother Frosty,” Dinky squeaked.
 
It seems she can pronounce ‘Frosty’ just fine though.
 
“What are you doing here Frost? Shouldn’t you be working right now?” Derpy said, drawing on the situation. It wasn’t normal to see a baker not baking.
 
“Some stuff happened, it’s a long story. I am finding myself jobless and without a home at the moment, and since the Spring Frolic is coming all the inns are booked full for almost a week.” You said, trying to gloss over the details of you getting fired, and springing right into the point of where you are.
 
“I see, well you can always try Sweet Apple Acres, me and Dinky lived there for almost two months last year, when I was between jobs,” Derpy stated, in a matter of fact tone.
 
“I think I’ll look into that,” you said, giving her the credit for the idea. For some reason, you were always extra-nice to Derpy, and her child.
 
“Well I guess this is luck then because me and Dinky were coming to see you,” That caught your attention. Derpy looked back at Dinky, who now was turning scarlet.
 
“I don’t wanna!” Dinky protested and she tried to blend herself with her mother’s mane.
 
Derpy only smiled in understanding as she nestled her daughter’s mane.
 
“Come now Dinky, show him what you made for him. Or do I have to tell Fluttershy how her mailbox really got broken?”
 
Dinky popped her head out of her mother’s golden mane, “Mom, that was you who broke her mailbox, and I took the blame.”
 
Derpy’s eyes shifted back and forth, “Ahh… never mind that, do you want me to give it to him?”
 
Dinky looked at you and hid back into her comfort zone, “Uh-huh”
 
The mare nestled her mane and went right into her saddle bag. It took a moment for her to fish out the object she was looking for, it was a simple piece of paper. She leaned down and passed you the present.
 
It was a card, drawn in crayon.
 
You tried to force down a smile that was building on your face. It was the most poorly drawn thing you have ever seen, but for you this was a masterpiece. it was a simple piece with Dinky’s favorite blueberry oatmeal muffin drawn. Bannered over the top was it read, ‘Thank you for the muffin’, but the two f’s were flipped the opposite way.

 
Sometimes, even when life gets you down. Someone will always be there to help pick you up. Although part of you wasn’t that far into the slums just yet, but this was a great pick-me-up all the same. Part of you was glad only Derpy could see you, you were starting to tear up a little.
 
You pocketed the card making sure not to bend it in the slightest. This was going right on your nightstand.  You would get up to give the little filly a hug, but the sleeping one your lap prevented that.
 
“Thank you Dinky, I’ll always treasure this.” You could see her coat turn a different shade completely.
 
Derpy just chuckled a little, “Don’t mind her, she just started her advanced placement courses, and apparently talking to boys gives you germs.”
 
“Ahh, I see. I heard boy germs are quite deadly, you better stay away far away from then till well after you're married.”
 
Derpy looked at you in wide eyed amazement, “Really?”
 
Urge to face-palm, rising.
 
“Anyway, I heard a certain filly is going to some super elite unicorn school. Is that true?” You said trying to draw out the filly out of hiding.
 
Derpy nearly beamed at the chance to talk about her daughter’s accomplishments.
 
“Yup, she is going to the School for Gifted Unicorns in the fall. Princess Celestia herself hoof picked her out to train her for a apprenticeship.”
 
Even you were fully aware of the ramifications of what that meant. After hearing (again and again) of Twilight’s personal story. Dinky really must have exceptional magical talent.
 
Dinky ears perked up a little as a smile worked its way onto her face. She didn’t like feeling condescended about it, but she knew it was a huge accomplishment. She tried her best to hide her giddiness.
 
“Dinky, why don’t you show Big Brother Frost a little magic.” Derpy said trying to show off her child ability.
 
It… just didn’t sound right having Derpy call you that.
 
“Ok!” Dinky said with a little bit more enthusiasm that she had hoped.
 
The  tiny filly proudly leapt off her mother’s back. The fear of whatever germs you possessed vanished as she took her beginner’s magical stance. Her front legs slightly bent, her horn pointed sight forward so that it was lined up with her spine.
 
Her tiny horn started to glow a tiny golden hue that was the same color as her mane. After several moment of nothing the base of her horn started to spark. Part of you was worried about her safety, magic was not a toy to be messing with.
 
Several tiny little pebbles started to float into the air, making more than one thing float at once was quite a feat for a filly her age.
 
Snaprrrr-tink-rrr-tink-rrr-tink
 
You blinked several times as you looked at the bench you were sitting on take on the golden hue that she was controlling.
 
No fucking way.
 
It wasn’t fast, actually, it was almost painstakingly slow, but it was happening. Dinky ripped the metal bars that was holding the bench to the ground and lifting you and the bench several inches into the air.
 
Eight inches.
 
Nine Inches.
 
One foot.
 
Two feet.
 
You now made a clear mental note to stay on Dinky’s good side. If she had the magical fortitude to lift your full weight into the air at her age, some day she was going to become a very powerful unicorn.
 
“Dinky, you should put him down now. If Pumpkin wakes up she, is going to be scared,” Derpy said, taking on the mothering role.
 
You didn’t want to be put down, this was the first time you were lifted into the air. Well… awake and put into the air.

Damn EMTs.
 
“Ok mom,” Dinky said, mildly depressed, as she slowly set the bench back onto the ground.
 
“That was amazing Dinky,” you said giving her the proper praise. “There are very few unicorns in this world that can lift me up. I must say that I am very, very impressed.”
 
Dinky beamed from ear to ear, she was about to jump you and give you a hug. A custom that she had grown into when given a compliment. Alas, she stopped several inches from the bench and slowed scooted away and retreated under her mother’s tail.
 
You had boy germs, gross.
 
“Thank you,” She squeaked.
 
It was at that moment when the oddest thing occurred. Paper started to fall from the sky. You looked up to see the weather patrol soaring through the sky. Each was dropping flyers every several feet or so. You reached into the air and grabs the nearest fluttering piece.
 
Even Derpy and Dinky were mesmerized by the event, this was the first time they had ever seen the weather patrol act this way.
 
“Mom, they’re littering,” Dinky protested.
 
Derpy bit into the air and snatched a flyer for herself; now both of you read the flyer in unison.
 

 
Reports have come in that the monster Ixion has been sighted in the Everfree. Please be wary when traveling the roads through the Everfree. Please be informed that this monster is extremely dangerous, and will attack on sight.
 

 
This was more than a bit of shocking news, you had heard of this creature before. Ixion was a mare that controlled lightning.
 
You were pretty sure that Ixion and Diamond Tiara would not get along.
 
But monsters in the Everfree wasn’t that big of a thing, they usually avoid Ponyville due to its high population of things that could kick their ass. When push came to shove, there was even a monster patrol of highly trained unicorns and earth ponies who would protect Ponyville.
 
“Mom, I’m hungry,” came the ever pressing whimper of the filly, “Can we get some oatmeal for breakfast?”
 
Derpy blinked twice as she looked at you, she was going to get breakfast at Sugarcube Corner… but now her favorite baker was out on the streets.
 
“Ok Hun, let’s go to the Farmer’s Market and get some of those oatmeal caramel apples you like,” Derpy said, trying to be as respectful as possible.
 
You could only admire her as she walked away. Derpy was a prime example of what a good single mare should be. Not to mention she had one of the softest looking butts you ever saw.  The way she swayed her tail back and forth leaving everything got the imagination. Oh what couldn’t you give for a good strong wind right then.
 
[…]
 
Dammit no strong wind.
 
Where in the world is Epona? It shouldn’t take this long to change a diaper.
 
Thankfully Pumpkin was still taking a nap on your lap so you could just sit back and relax as you enjoyed the evening breeze. You felt kind of sad for Pumpkin in one aspect though, come hell or high water, she wasn’t allowed to date until after she was married.
 
You were preparing for your overprotective fatherly role just a little sooner than most.
 
She is going to have her own herd, and dozens of stallions will flock to her, and you were going to help beat them all away with a stick.
 
You were going to make sure Pound grew up into a proper stallion. A kind and gentle ladies’ man that wouldn’t harm a fly but had the ability to take on a hundred stallions and win if need be.

Pound Cake, Equestrian badass.
 
“Uncle Fluffy, I found him!” came a shout from a filly. It only took all of a nanosecond to recognize the voice.
 
It seems the world just wanted to force everyone to see you today. The little pink filly now barreled down in your direction as fast as her tiny hooves could carry her.
 
Diamond Tiara beamed from ear to ear as she made her way to your side. Walking at an even pace behind him was the black unicorn Nightshade, or what he was originally named, Fluffy the mute bodyguard.
 
In your opinion, he should have stuck with the name Fluffy. Just to think how embarrassing it would be to get your rear end kicked by a guy named Fluffy.
 
“Well if it isn’t Princess Diamond, out and about to talk amongst your royal subjects?” you said, with a small smirk.
 
Diamond caught herself at the last moment and tried to put on a royal demeanor. She was a princess and the seventh Element of Harmony, the element of glitter. Alas, that lasted for about half a second before she was driven back to her original giddiness.
 
“Carrot Cake said you were fired!” Diamond said still smiling from ear to ear.
 
Nice way to pour salt in a fresh wound.
 
“I see you went to Sugarcube Corner… wait a minute aren’t you supposed to be in school? it’s almost ten fifteen.” You said pointing out the oddity. Actually, now that you thought about it, there were a lot more fillies and colts running around more than normal.
 
“Today is parent-teacher day at school. Daddy couldn’t make it, but Mrs. Cheerilee said it was fine if I brought Uncle Fluffy instead. After the conference we were allowed to go home.” Diamond took a large breathe, “But is it true, did you lose your job?!”
 
Maybe she need to learn a little tact.
 
You sighed, “Yes Diamond, I lost my job.”
 
“That’s great news!” Diamond beamed, “My care attendant quit this morning, I am sure my daddy will hire you if you asked.”
 
Your eye twitched at the thought. That was by far the worst job in the entire town. Being Diamond’s personal care attendant was a full time job, and no matter how good the pay was, it was indentured servitude. It was almost legendary around the town, granted the pay was exceedingly high but it wasn’t worth it, no matter how you looked at it.
 
You had to cook, clean and follow Diamond around almost everywhere, and even on special occasions help in the bathroom cleaning and scrubbing her from head to hoof. Normally that wouldn’t bother you, but you were in a delicate position with her at the moment.  If she was younger sure, but she is about to hit puberty and that is when things get weird.
 
Far too weird to even consider taking the job.
 
“Besides daddy already approved you as my fiancé, so now we can spend even more time together!”
 
Your eye twitched, “Oh did he now?” you looked to her current body guard who nodded his head in confirmation. If anyone would really know, it would be the pony who is constantly by their side.
 
“I told daddy this morning that I chose you to be my husband and he said as long as that is alright with you he was all for it.” Diamond said gleefully.
 
That rat bastard keeps shoving the hard talks onto me!
 
Then it hit you…”Wait, Fluffy is your uncle?”
 
Diamond nodded, “Yup, Uncle Fluffy was mom’s big brother.  He is really strong, but not as strong as mom was.” She repeated with pride. “Mom was an arch mage before she died, Uncle Fluffy was her bodyguard.”
 
This was the first time hearing about Diamond’s mother being a unicorn, of all things. An arch mage, no less. Rich sure knew how to pick his mares.  Fluffy was her second in command as well, better stay on his good side.
 
…
 
For a moment, it felt like a knife borrowed its way into the back of your skull. It felt hot and surreal and just like that, that pain faded. You quickly rub the back of your head but there was no mark.
 
Take the job.
 
Your eyes dart back and forth as you heard the voice in your head. It was a simple command, but the voice sound familiar. Far too familiar but it was slightly distorted.
 
“Are you alright?” Diamond said inching closer to you, her eyes were the size of saucers. Even Fluffy raised a brow at you.
 
“Yeah, I think so…” you said as you continued to rub the back of your head. Part of you wanted to know what the voice was, but you didn’t want to question it. You also didn’t want to tell people you heard a voice in your head. “Hey, you know what, I will stop by later today and talk to your dad about it.”
 
Getting offered a stupid high paying job only hours after losing yours was a stroke of good luck.
 
Diamond froze in place with her mouth slightly agape.  She was making a soft squeaky notice that sounded like a finger nails scraping across a drum. Even Fluffy was taken aback by what you said. You were the first person willing to actually take that position.
 
Most were hired outside of the country and didn’t know what they were getting into.
 
“You really mean it?!” Diamond squeaked.
 
You raise a figure to your mouth and pointed to the sleeping filly on your lap but gave her a confirming nod.  The filly nearly burst as her greatest fantasy was being realized. She was now going to be able to spend every waking moment with her future husband.
 
But for now, she wanted to talk to you about something personal. Alas, she was in earshot of her doting uncle.  She knew underage pregnancy was looked down upon. Being pregnant at the mere age of thirteen was scandalous and would ruin her father’s reputation. But she wanted you to take responsibility for kissing her without the proper protection.
 
Chap Stick is very important.
 
No, now was not the right time to tell you about the foal growing in her tummy.  She knew you would be excited about the news, after having a long talk with Silver Spoon she had grown on the idea of becoming a mother.
 
Her big, strong, handsome human would take care of all her personal needs now. Maybe when they were alone, she might even be able to kiss and cuddle! Oh, the idea alone was so scandalous. Now, though, she was on a mission.
 
She needed to talk to her dad about her new personal care attendant. If everything ran smoothing, you would be tucking her in by nightfall.
 
Her face turned scarlet at the idea of having a boy in her room. Not just any boy, her fiancé. Maybe she could try her hoof at perfecting a blowjob. She just didn’t like the idea of getting hair in her mouth. Then a stray thought entered her mind.
 
Maybe you could give her a blowjob so she could see how it’s done! That way she would know how to.

Yes, it was the perfect plan.
 
“You there Diamond?” You said snapping your fingers in front of her face, she dazed out for a moment and she was starting to drool.  She shook her head out of her stupor, and regained her composure.
 
“I am perfectly fine,” Diamond said retaining a business tone of voice, “I am going to go and talk to my father about our arrangement.”
 
You could only blink at the words she was using, her father did raise her for the world of business. You reached down and gave your ‘fiancée’ a half hug. One she perfectly accepted with glee, knowing that you couldn’t move thanks to the sleeping foal on your lap.

After she skipped away, with Fluffy following closely behind, you had something on your mind. It wasn’t the strange voice that appeared inside your head nor the fact that something felt weird off. It had almost been a half an hour since Epona left and she still wasn’t back yet.
 
Almost as if on cue the mare had finally come out of the women’s room with the colt sleeping soundly in the side saddle carrier. Her eyes were slightly darker and sunken in. Her pure white mane was matted back slightly and her wings drooped to her sides.
 
You had seen that look before, you knew what she had just been through. Pound Cake didn’t go easy on her. You got up, talking Pumpkin in your left arm and you went to her side and tried to comfort her the best way you knew how.
 
“It’s ok, you’re safe now.”
 
“There was so much…” Epona said staring blankly at the ground.
 
You sighed as you tried your best to think of the best words to say to pull her out of her slump.

Nothing came to mind, all anyone could ever do was just move on...
 
“C’mon, let’s go get something to eat, then we’ll head out to Sweet Apple Acres,” You said, trying to cheer her up.
 
She didn’t cheer up; she was feeding on your emotions since she woke up. She was already full; the idea of consuming real food was not appealing in the slightest. Although spending time with you was, so maybe she could stomach something.
 

Silence.
 
There was an elephant in the room, and the two knew full well what it was. Yet, only one wanted to talk about it, while the other wanted to avoid it like the plague. Carrot Cake had changed his tactics. The worst part is, he was playing on something Cup Cake had better than anyone, memories.
 
Carrot stood there, dressed to the nines. He was wearing a pinned down black dress suit and his mane was combed back perfectly. Freshly shaven and he smelled like Black Mist, her favorite stallion cologne. The worst part is that he smelled so good in it, the notes the cologne was giving off were more than enough to place her right in his hooves.
 
“I know it’s been awhile Cup,” Carrot started off, “I came here today to ask you if we can start over.”
 
Cup twitched, she hadn’t been expecting that. She was actually thinking he was going to threaten her in some way, using her special somepony as a bargaining chip.
 
“I know this is the last thing you expected to hear from me, but I really do want us to start over, Cup. I know I have no right to ask you, but I need to try,” Carrot said, opening his front hooves exposing his chest. He had been working on his chest the last two days, giving it a toned look, something Cup noticed. “When we first got, married it was strained. I wasn’t in the right frame of mind, and truthfully, I didn’t want to be married at that point in my life. I felt forced into it.”
 
“That was because you told me you loved me, you just used—“
 
“I know, Cup, I know; and I’m sorry. Please forgive me, I wasn’t the stallion I was back then. I have changed since then, I know now that you and the twins are what is important to me.”
 
Cup Cake’s nostrils flared, as she nearly slammed her front set of hooves on the table.
 
“Kicking us out of our home is not the way you show you care—“
 
Carrot raised a hoof, in an attempt to quiet his former wife, “I know, Don’t get me wrong Cup Cake but it was necessary. I wanted to talk to you completely alone without the interference from any outside influences. I didn’t kick you out.”
 
Cup raised a brow just slightly, “You finalized our divorce and—“
 
“Please, let me explain in detail. Mayor Mare didn’t read over the documents fully, right now I know she is going through every amendment in the book, to try to get this store back to you,” Carrot placed that blue paper in front of Cup Cake. “The thing is, its only in my name for a week, I had this bill specially designed so that it would go back to your name after the week is up. Next Wednesday the store in its entirety will revert back into your name and… him.”
 
Cup read and reread the document, right from the third paragraph from the bottom it was all there in black and white. In a week, the store really was coming back to her.
 
“Why are you doing all of this?” Cup questioned.
 
“Because I still love you. I want you and me and the kids to be together again, like before. I know we have had our rough spots, but we got over them. I know what I did was unforgivable, I cheated on you. What I am asking from, you is another chance to make things right. I want to grow old with you and I want to be there for our children.”
 
Cup didn’t know if he was being sincere, or he was just playing into her emotions on the matter. What she was trying to do, was find the underlying detail that was missing. In the end, no matter how hard she looked at it, she came out on top.
 
“Why now? Why not four months ago? You bragged about Celestia to all of you bar buddies. You never listened to—“
 
“I have changed, please Cup. If you want, I'll even ask him to teach me how to be a better stallion. I have been watching, when I walk by and I peek inside the store. The way you smile when you’re around him. Please, I’m asking you, just one more chance.”
 
Cup Cake was nearly taken to the verge of tears. This is what she wanted to hear months ago. All she wanted was for him to change a little and tell her he was sorry for cheating. He never even did that. It was a small spark in her gut that wanted to believe him. Like all first loves, they never truly die.
 
Now though, it was too little too late. Cup Cake was in love with another.  
 
“I can see it in your eyes,” Carrot said taking the initiative, “There really is nothing I can say to bring back what we had.”
 
That was enough the push the mare over the edge, the tears started to leak from the sides of her eyes and down her blue coat.
 
“I’m sorry,” Is all Cup Cake could muster.
 
“He must be something really special,” Carrot Cake said, looking back to the store, “Maybe if I just changed a little sooner, or did something different… You must really love him.”
 
Cup Cake wanted him to stop talking, she didn’t want to hear these words from him now.
 
“Cup Cake…” Carrot paused, and sighed, “ I knew it was a long shot, doing all of this. I just had to try. I know I can’t win you back, I know there is nothing I can say or do to try and convince you otherwise. All I ask, though, if anything through all of this. Please, can you forgive me for cheating on you? There is nothing I want more than that.”
 
This was all she ever wanted, she maybe couldn’t quite forgive the way she was compared to the immortal goddesses, but… if all he really wanted was her forgiveness, it wasn’t much to give it to him.
 
“I guess… since we're not husband and wife anymore, and since you did ask, I guess I can forgive you.”
 
It was almost like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders as the words left her lips. It was oddly magical even, almost surreal.
 
“Thank you, Cup Cake. I hope he brings you one tenth of the happiness that you brought me just now.”
 
“You know… the twin’s birthday is coming up in a few weeks.  I am sure the twins would love it if you were there,“ Cup Cake said, trying to give her ex-husband something he could go to to make him feel better. “Also… the Spring Frolic is this weekend, I’m sure if you—“
 
Carrot shook his head, “I won’t be attending the frolic, it would be far too soon. Maybe in a few years but now it’s far too soon. I would like to be there for the twin’s birthday though.”
 
Cup didn’t know what to say, there was absolutely nothing she could say to improve the situation.
 
“I’m going to go.” Cup said trying to push of the situation. She just wasn’t in the right frame of mind to deal with this new and improved Carrot Cake. Especially while she was in heat, she needed to get away, and fast.
 
Cup was almost halfway out the door before she felt his hoof press against her back. It literally felt like the weight of the world was being pressed on her shoulders.
 
“Thank you for forgiving me Cup, I hope he makes you very happy. If you can, ask him to come by the shop tonight. I want to apologize for how I acted to him.”
 
It took every fiber of her being not to turn around. Every sinew and tendon in her body was restraining herself not to give in to what her body was saying and doing. She was happy by your side, and that is all she ever wanted.
 
Wordlessly she left down the stairs, not saying a word. She tried to make her mind completely blank. It was all she could do.

Carrot only sighed as he left into the kitchen after his ex-wife had left. He had a lot of work to do, and little time to do it in.

First things first, he needed a knife.

The place smelled like sterilizer, which in your opinion was far better that what it was smelling like outside right at the moment. You were downstream of Sweet Apple Acres, and the river was carrying the scent of cow manure.
 
“No. We don’ have any mo’ in stock,” Mr. Wong said, as he levitated several bottles to the top shelf.
 
Your eye twitched, “What do you mean you don’t have any more? I’m the only one in a thousand miles that even needs it.”
 
“You quite know. You think you special because you heavy. You not only pony that heavy.  Now you buy or you stand around like dumb earth pony? Buy now!”
 
You clicked your tongue in irritation. It was true that there were other heavy creatures out there. The river dragon Steve was a prime example, but you were the heaviest thing I’m almost the entire kingdom.  You once did the math or more precisely Twilight did the math.
 
You weighed almost eleven tons, without the help of magic or medicine. Give or take a ton.
 
In any sense, it wasn’t that big of a deal, as long as you kept your escarpments to yourself. Truthfully, it was fun peeling the bark off a tree with nothing more than sheer determination, boredom and a bottle of water.
 
With Twilight’s magic fading, you needed medicine, and someone somewhere bought the entire stock.
 
“Who bought you out, Wong? or do you want me to stand here until you give me an answer?”  You tapped the floor board twice giving a little more pressure than needed and could clearly hear the board start to bend under your step.
 
“Old Lady Smith buyout entire stock, you no break my store!” Wong yelled.
 
Granny Smith? Why would she need them?
 
You almost squeed on the inside. Not only was it the next stop on the list, but Granny Smith was almost notorious for being kind and generous, not to mention hospitable. She must have well over a hundred pills from Mr. Wong. She would throw you a deal for sure. Maybe if you were lucky, she would give you some for free.

Just enough to last until Twilight got there to refresh her spell.
 
Luck was finally coming on your side.
 
You left the shop almost skipping. Sadly, reality set in the moment you left the store. You had to walk up river to get to Sweet Apple Acres.
 

With a filly cradled in your left arm and a gorgeous mare walking just inches on your left, you had to admit, life was pretty damn sweet. Even when things look down, they picked up almost immediately.
 
You had rattled a few ideas in your head about coming here. One idea popped into your mind and stuck like a thorn that made you almost completely giddy.  With Twilight’s spell fading, that meant your strength increased.

In theory.
 
You had heard countless tales of stallions bucking Sweet Apple Acre trees. The raw physical power it took to knock every apple from a tree was almost mythical.
 
Only two ponies have been known to do that, and one was one of Pinkie Pie’s best friends. The other  was the walking muscle with a member that apparently was like a tree.
 
Or so you were told from legend, you never actually went out to look at the guys package.  Now, though, was a really treat. You knew if you wanted to earn your keep you were going to have to work and work meant getting apples.
 
Nothing spelled manliness like uprooting a tree. Part of you knew you shouldn’t feed your ego. It was nothing more than a mere biological difference, and not strength earned through hard work and dedication.
 
But they didn’t need to know that.
 
You were a little worried at first, though. When you got close to the farm, none of the trees were bearing any fruit. Applebuck season was in the fall, but thankfully, when you approached the gate, you were able to get a good look at their north field, which was completely full of red apples.
 
Not to mention there wasn’t a farm hand in sight, which meant they were in needed of some physical labor. Your timing couldn’t have been sweeter.
 
“Daddy, I’m hungry,” Came the quiet whisper of the filly.
 
You could feel your breath catch in your throat as you looked down at Pumpkin. It was the first time since you knew the little girl that she said someone other than your name, or well close enough to it in your opinion.
 
You almost lost it and went fully dad mode and wanted to give her hundreds of belly kisses. Now, though, she needed food. That’s when you remembered that you forgot to get something to eat for yourself.
 
“Is this the place I am to call my home?” Epona said taking in the view of the land.
 
“Yup, you will never meet a nicer set of ponies. Good, hardworking, honest folks,” You said smiling, still taken in by Pumpkin’s words.
 
“Can I help you with something?” You almost jumped in the air as the voice of a mare came directly from behind you spoke. You almost gave yourself whiplash as you twisted midair.
 
It was a golden-brown earth pony that could have been the spitting double for Applejack, if she didn’t look like she’d swallowed three basketballs. It was easy to spot that she was pregnant, and the time was coming fast for when she was about to pop.
 
“Yes,” you said after regaining some of your composure, “me and some of my family are looking for a place to stay. We heard that your farm takes in those who are willing to work hard for food and shelter,” You said, trying to play yourself off like a innocent tourist. In reality, you have sent well over two dozen stallions and mares here who were looking for the same thing.
 
“I see,” she said, with a soft smile, “Well, come on inside, and I will make us something to drink. My husband and my son are out in the north field at the moment, but I am sure they will be coming in for lunch soon enough.”
 
Epona took on the silent role as she scooted closer to your side. There was something about pregnant mares that always put her on edge. Even she didn’t know why, she just felt uncomfortable around them. Even while she was a queen, she didn’t like it.
 
You followed the waddling mare inside, and even opened the door for her, trying your best to make yourself a real gentleman. She was a pregnant mare, and even now, you wanted to try your best to impress her and ease her discomfort.
 
Although, when you got inside, she pointed both you and Epona to sit on a rundown couch on the far end. She was a real southern belle, and the decor around the entire house said just that. Just the feeling of the place said this was loving home. You knew deep down, if you had a chance, this would be the kind of home you would want to live in. What was catching you off guard, though, was what was sitting on the counter, under a Stetson hat.

It was a sword. From what you could tell, without picking it up, the scabbard was probably wooden, and appeared to be wrapped tightly in a bright blue leather. Gold decorations covered the scabbard’s locket and chape, polished to a mirror shine. The pommel and crossguard seemed to be anodized steel, with a large red gem mounted in between the quillons. The handle was also wrapped in that strange blue leather. But, by far, the strangest part about this sword, was the symbol, wrought in mirror-like gold, and affixed to the scabbard’s center. 
 
“I hope you like some sweet tea,” The mare said, as she set down the tray on the small living room coffee table.
 
“Thank you,” you said, “I must say, I don’t remember the Apple Family having such a pretty mare amongst them,” You said, trying your best to butter her up.
 
She blushed slightly and waive a dismissing hoof, “flattery will get you everywhere. How could you tell I was an Apple?”
 
You didn’t you were just guessing, but damn it was a lucky guess.
 
“Intuition,” you said, trying to make yourself sound smart, “This here is my friend, Epona. These two little ones are named Pumpkin and Pound,”  Epona only nodded silently, as she could not look away from the girth that was rounding the mare stomach.
 
“Oh! I just assumed you two were a couple, I’m sorry. My name is Apple Blossom, and I’m pleased to meet you,” Epona only smiled at the thought, she was glad someone had thought it. “Me and my husband, Macintosh just got back in this morning.”
 
“Wait… are you Applejack’s mom?” you said. She did have a weathered look of an older Applejack. Truth be told, you thought they were both dead.

She nodded.
 
“I see you know my little girl. How is she, nowadays? Little Macintosh said she ran off with her friends, but he didn’t say much more than that.”
 
“She is with her friends in the north right now, she should be back Friday. Actually though there is one more pony that is with me, her name is Cup Cake.”
 
Apple Blossom raised a brow, “Cup Cake? Where do I know that name from..?” Her eyes widened for a moment, “Does she have a blue coat and... like a pink swirl for a mane?” you nodded, “Well I’ll be, she finally dumped Carrot. Well lets drink some tea, and you can tell me all about it.”
 

The smell of sulfur filled the air, as the train from Canterlot finally pulled to a stop. In the last car, a fair pegasus with angel white wings stepped off the platform. Her mane was a light pink, and she had the purest sky blue eyes that any pony had ever seen.
 
Waiting for her on the last bench, was yet another pegasus. Although her coat was jet black, and her mane was a dark burnt blue. Something amazing about these two fully grown mares, was the fact that neither of them had their cutie mark.
 
“Sister!” The white pegasus shouted for almost the entire station to hear.
 
The black pegasus could feel her eye twitching, “Why, hello dear sister,” she said, her words came out almost strained and rehearsed.
 
“Oh, Starry Night, give me a hug! It's been ages,” The white pegasus cooed, as she nearly flung herself onto her sister.
 
“Starry Night” dead panned, as the mare was finally close enough for only them to hear. “Celestia you don’t need to act like this, nopony finds it strange for two ponies to be meeting each other.”
 
Celestia blinked twice before the words sunk in fully. “I know, but this is more fun. How often do we get to spend time together outside the castle like this? It almost been two thousand years.”
 
“It has been three thousand sister, remember the Black Mat-bith Concert dad wouldn’t let us go to?” Luna said recalling a fond memory.
 
“It has been a while…” Celestia said, taking the initiative. “I just wanted to hang out for once, and let my mane out. Since you snuck off, I thought I could do the same.”
 
“Isn’t the Royal Summit this weekend?” Luna questioned.
 
“It was, but I moved it to next month. With the Frolic this weekend it was more than easy enough to get all to agree. All ponies have an itch that needs scratching,” Celestia said.
 
Luna’s mouth fell slightly agape. She had never heard her sister talk in such a manner. She liked it.
 
“I am shocked, sister. With the holiday looming so close, I am surprised you have not locked yourself in your bedchamber, with your consorts,” Luna said, taking on a more daring verbatim.
 
“I don’t always need to be pleased dear sister, but what about you. Have you found somepony special?” “Sunny Skies” said, trying to delicately pry her way into the situation she needed to be in. She was no fool to just rush into such a delicate matter.
 
Celestia knew more than anything that Luna wouldn’t just rush into a relationship. If she could disable her feelings without having to court the human for her own gain. Besides, she still wasn’t sure that Luna would go through with the whole matter.
 
The spell required an immortal soul. Luna might not be willing to give it up, just to make a guy happy. For now, she just needed to play it safe before she went on the hunt for herself.
 
“Well I did just meet a guy,” Luna said taking on a slightly scarlet undercoating, “I want to introduce you to him, his name is Frost and he kind of reminds me of Disarray, back when we were younger.”
 
“I see. So, you must be quite smitten with him. That is good to know,” Celestia said, as she eyed some of the confection of the nearby shops.  Even she knew of her sister’s admiration for her former lover. These were very high praises.
 
“I am thinking about asking him to join my harem,” Luna said in a hushed voice, “I think you would get along well with him sister. He is really nice.”
 
“Well, you will have to introduce me to him soon,” Celestia said with a growing smirk.

“Let us leave the matters of the heart for later,” Luna said as she nuzzled her sister’s side, “Lets go get some tea and sandwiches and ‘chill’ as the ponies say nowadays.”

Celestia smiled, she liked seeing her little sister happy, “Let’s, but you want to know what I know? Somepony who would be dying to join us is in the area right now.”
 

The mare followed the footsteps in the dirt road.  There was only one thing in the entire town with feet like that. Cup Cake couldn’t believe the words that Carrot had spoken to her. They were nice, and sweet, and it was everything she’d wanted to hear.
 
It was perfect.

In the back of her mind, the growing doubt had started to worm its way in. Maybe she really did make a  mistake. Alas those thoughts vanished as memories of what Carrot was really like started to flood their way back.
 
If Carrot had changed, he did it too late. Now all she wanted more in the world was to see her special somepony more than anything.
 
“My, my, the moment things go bad he goes for the hand out. I must say he sounds kind of like a bum to me,” Discord whispered into the wind, “I must say, he isn’t doing well for himself, now that he’s homeless.”
 
“You’re just mad you were wrong about Luna,” Cup Cake said, poking a hole into his ego. “Some great advice you have given me.”
 
Discord narrowed his eyes, though he was not visible, and Cup Cake didn’t see it. “That was a small miscalculation on my part, it seems  I overestimated how desperate a mare can get when they are in heat.”
 
“Desperate or not you were wrong Discord.” Cup Cake said as she started to near the front gate.
 
“Well, being wrong is good for you, it’s a spice of life,” Discord said, making a quick defense.
 
That’s when it hit both of them. It came from above without warning. It was rain, a single drop struck down from far above. Cup looked up to see one of the darkest storm clouds she had ever laid eyes upon coming from the south.
 
The mare now double timed it to the front of the house, she didn’t want to be caught in the rain.

Discord booked it back to Ponyville, he was in charge of keep Fluttershy’s flowers safe and an incoming storm would drown her lilies.
 

 
You were about to lose your mind.
 
Coming here now might have been the biggest mistake of your entire life. Apple Blossom, you had discovered, had no concept of personal space.  Not to mention, she could not pick up on subtle clues at all.
 
Not for one, or two, but THREE hours, you had been sitting on the couch, being “entertained” by her southern hospitality. Not that you minded, really, but instead of sitting on the couch across from you and Epona, she sat directly next to you.
 
Which wouldn’t have been a problem, if it weren’t for the fact that she kept trying to get you to rub her belly, so you could feel her foals kick. Epona had become a mute. She only spoke when she was questioned, and tried her best to avoid looking at the pregnant mare.
 
There was one thing, though. It was faint, but the mare has the smell of changling on her.  She wasn't a changeling but she was carrying the scent of one.

The worst part came when the photo album was pulled out. Oh how you just needed to see the photos of little Applejack’s first poop, her first dress, her first crush. The list never got shorter. Not to mention, Pumpkin was refusing to let go of you. She wanted her dad by her side every waking moment. In her eyes, she was fighting for your attention over Apple Blossom, who was trying to take her daddy away from her.
 
Knock-knock
 
It was almost as if the gods themselves had opened the gates to freedom, and beyond them was the salvation that you needed.
 
“I’ll get it!” you said, with a bit more enthusiasm than you wanted, as you wrench yourself free from everyone but Pumpkin. Apple Blossom was about to get up and get the door herself but you were far faster than the woefully pregnant mare.
 
You were never going to sit down on that couch again.
 
Beyond the threshold was Cup Cake, your savior. Never had you ever been so happy to see the mare. From the tight hug she wrapped around your waist she was more than happy to see you too. It had only been a few hours, and she missed you that much.
 
It really touched a soft spot.
 
“Mom!” squeaked Pumpkin from her vantage point.
 
“Cup Cake!” Apple Blossom nearly yelled from across the room.
 
Cup nearly lit up at the sight of her old classmate and friend. Which meant something very important.

You had a viable excuse to get the hell out of the room. They could play catch up, and you could go out with the men.
 
After the long winded hugs and “I missed you”s, you were finally able to escape the clutches of Apple Blossom’s hospitality. Cup Cake was acting a little strange, but she told you enough of what happened between her and Carrot.
 
You were not buying it for a moment.
 
He made you bow and plead just to get some of your stuff, but from what Cup had said, she would be the owner in a week. Which meant you would have your job back. You were not going to put too much into the sentiment, until you talked to Carrot yourself.
 
Something just didn’t feel right, it felt like it was just too easy.
 
Cup Cake and Apple Blossom now took on the mothering roles, almost immediately. They wanted some private time to catch up, and gossip, and have girl talk. You didn’t care, you wholeheartedly approved.

You were free! Now you could make your way to hang out with the men and do manly things.

You really needed more guy friends.
 
The field was completely ripe with apples. Man, did they ever look juicy. It was just so tempting, you wanted to kick the tree and see if it would split in two. Nothing like having an unfair advantage.  Sadly, you were still carrying your pride and joy, Pumpkin. She wanted to be by your side, through thick and thin, today.
 
It didn’t take you long to find the stallion, since there was only one as far as the eye could see. It was Macintosh Sr. Thanks to his wife, you knew more about him than you ever really wanted to know.
 
He was on the second to the last three of the third row in, each row having a grand total of twenty trees. You could see his bright red coat matted with sweat, it was not raining hard enough to be blamed on the water.
 
“Evening,” You shouted as you approached. The stallion stopped mid buck and turned his attention to you.
 
You almost froze in place at the look he gave you, it was like he was eyeing you up and trying to decide whether he was going to run you down or not.
 
“Do you have any kids?” The stallion shouted.
 
You could only look on and wonder of all the oddest things in the world to ask at such a time. Well you were told that Apple’s get weirder as they get older.
 
“No?” you said, answering it more like a question.
 
He looked at you now with a raised brow with a slightly pursed lips. “Well I’ll be…”
 
“A monkey’s uncle?” you said trying to break the ice with a smooth joke.
 
He deadpanned, “Yeah, I’m sure now. Welcome to Sweet Apple Acres.”
 
Ok?
 
“Thanks, I was told by your wife to come and get you. She just started making supper.” The stallion continued to look at you like you were the weirdest thing that he had ever saw.
 
“I know this is gonna sound real strange, but can I see your chest?”
 
Right at that moment, you wanted to back away slowly from the guy. This conversation just went from normal, to weird, in only a few seconds. You were not one to be rude, howeve, no matter how odd the question.
 
You didn’t care how nice he was though, if he asked to feel your chest, you were going to deck him one.
 
Slowly, you unzip your black hoodie, and pull up your white shirt. Doing it with one hand was kind of hard. The only thing odd about your chest was the lack of chest hair, thanks to Luna burning a hoofprint between your nipples.
 
You really hoped that would go away, mana burns though were notorious for never leaving, but it was possible for them to heal.
 
Nah it wasn’t weird that a guy you just met was eyeing up your chest like a mare eyes a chocolate bar.
 
“Hmmm.”
 
“Can I put my shirt down now?”
 
“Oh, right. Sorry. Uh... You just have a really interesting, form is all. I used to study anatomy in my younger years. I gotta say, you have a really interesting’ structure.”
 
Well that was a first.
 
“Thanks… never thought I hear an of Apple studying anything but apples. When I talk to Applejack, that’s the subject that comes up the most.”
 
A moment passed before the stallion looked to the skies.
 
“Let me ask you something, who in your opinion, is the biggest idiot you know?” The stallion said casually as she started to move towards the final tree.
 
Well, if this was a loaded question, you didn’t know what was. Thankfully it was a riddle one that you had heard before on Earth.
 
“I, for no one person can say they are better than another. So in my opinion I am the biggest idiot.” You said, hoping that is what he meant. Unless he really was asking you who you thought was an idiot.
 
Meh, the answer would still be the same.
 
“I see,” Macintosh said, smirking as he eyed the last tree, “From your answer I can tell you are a kind, caring, selfless person who tries to better the lives of those around them. You have a quick wit and are self-sacrificing and try your best, given immeasurable odds. You also have a thing for mares that have big butts.”
 
Even Blinkie and Inkie would be impressed with this guy’s assumptions. Although you didn’t want to agree with all what he said. They were flattering, for sure, but you knew deep down you didn’t represent all of those things.
 
Those were the qualities of a hero, you were not a hero.
 
It was at that moment you remembered, you were supposed to help move something for Blinkie and Inkie. Also you had to meet Luna and trade her for the song. Then Carrot wanted to talk, as well. Not to mention the storm looked like it was already pouring over Ponyville.
 
Ahh. Today looked like it was only going to get longer.
 
“Sorry to bother you, but I’m a little tuckered out. Would you mind giving this last tree a few good hits?” Macintosh said, as she nodded his head to the last tree in the row, “These trees in the north field are a little harder to knock than most.”
 
You almost squealed like a child on the inside, not only did he ask, but these trees are known to be resilient. You just wished there was more ponies watching. You would just give it a few tender taps. You didn’t want to club the tree in two.
 
Well you did, but let’s not split hairs.
 
You stood before the tree, eyeing the bark for just the right sweet spot. Thankfully it was a skill that you had acquired during your five years of “hitting a tree with a stick” training. Not just everyone can spot a sweet spot on a tree.
 
You found it as you looked at the indention in the wood. You rip off a piece of the bark to mark the spot you wanted to hit. Sadly Pumpkin was there with you, so you couldn’t go all out on it, but a solid punch should do well enough to knock this tree clean.
 
You make a perfect solid fist and start to tighten your triceps and bicep to try to the peak power from it. It took a moment to tighten the muscle in your forearm but right when all was green you betted your arm forward straight into the tree with a loud thump.
 
The tree didn’t split in two.
 
The tree didn’t shatter into mulch.
 
The tree didn’t get disintegrate into atoms.
 
The tree didn’t turn into Fluttershy.
 
The tree just stood there, as the pressure of your perfect punch was absorbed into the trunk of the tree. That was your best punch, three apples fell to the ground.  Not the entirety of the tree, just three of the ripest apples that looked like the evening wind could have knocked them out of its branches.
 
This wasn’t adding up in your mind at all. That was part of your real weight, Twilight’s spell was fading, which meant there was real power behind your punch. It was flawlessly executed and you nailed the sweet spot dead on.
 
Then you looked down into your left arm to see the tender body of the foal whom you had been holding almost the entirety of the day. That must had been the reason, your body was so in tune with not trying to disturbed her, that you must have subconsciously weakened your punch, to make sure not to harm the filly.
 
Yeah that was just the excuse your pride needed. He did say the tree was resilient, too. You also didn’t use your legs, you were sure if you kicked it you would have obliterated that tree.
 
“Well, three is a good number for a first timer,” Macintosh said, as he lined up to the tree and struck it with his hind legs. He was rewarded with almost the entirety of the tree and he didn’t even hit the sweet spot. “Be a sport and run the last batch of apples to the barn and tell Little Macintosh to come and eat won’t you, Frost.”
 
You responded in a low sigh as you started to pick out the apples with your free hand. Even Pumpkin tried to help out as she tried to grab for a free apple as she leaned down. You did notice something strange about the apples though. They felt heavier than the apples that you had grown accustomed to at the bakery.
 
You and Pumpkin took the last batch to the barn, you with a five gallon pail and she with a single red apple that she was gnawing away on with her baby teeth. She couldn’t even break through the red skin of the apple.
 
You pushed through the heavy barn door, and only had about a tenth of a second to drop the apples and cover Pumpkin’s eyes.
 
You were not sure if that was milk covering the floor, or the creamy juices that the cows released when they had finished their climax.  Seven cows were slumped over on their sides  looking like they had just been put through the ringer.
 
You knew two of them, Belle and Gertrude.  Both were the representatives for the herd of cows that sold milk to almost all of Ponyville. Both of them were sprawled on their backs, leaking four different types of fluids.
 
Milk not being one of them.
 
At the far end of the barn was Big Mac, balls deep into the wet canals of a heifer that you were not acquainted with. Her eyes were almost buried into the back of her skull as her tongue flopped out uncontrollably.
 
The stallion stopped mid thrust as he was the only one who was trying to make sure he was quiet with his evening pleasures. You tried your best not to look, but damn if every rumor about the stallion weren’t true.
 
The guy was a walking penis.
 
“Mooooooo,” Squeaked the filly behind your hand. You didn’t know how much she saw but thankfully there was no way for her to comprehend any of it.
 
It was like someone had turned off the sound to the world. If they hadn’t noticed you before, they sure did now.  You couldn’t blame anyone for trying to release the urge in the middle of the day. This was just a little awkward, is all.
 
Although something did come to mind, why was it such a big secret? Maybe he got better deals on milk thanks to his… inside-her trading.  Now you knew what it was like on the opposite side of the spectrum.  You were a little curious as to what it would be like having sex with a cow. Big Mac was a prime male specimen, if he gave up sex with normal mares for cows, there had to be a reason.
 
“Your dad told me to tell you dinner will be ready in a little bit…”
 
“Mooooooo!” Pumpkin squeed.
 
You closed the barn door with your now free hand trying to get the image of Belle’s backside out of your mind. Although,  the harder you tried, the more it wanted to stay. After several large breaths, you and the little filly made your way back to the main house.
 
You took a minute to compose yourself. Mentally you were fine but you were running low on energy. One hour of sleep was not good and your left arm was starting to cramp up thanks to Pumpkin.
 
Thankfully the smell of dinner was calling, or it may have been your imagination. You were hungry and something smelled really good. Smelled like stew.
 
“YahhhHHHHHHH!!”
 
The ear shattering scream echoed throughout the entire farm. All the weariness in your body left at that moment. Every sinew in your body burst with energy, as you ran as fast as your two feet could carry you.
 
Screams meant someone was in trouble, which also meant you had a opportunity to save someone. The moment you interfered the door you didn’t feel hungry anymore. You actually almost lost your lunch.
 
Apple Blossom was spread wide on the couch, exposed for all of the world to see. On the floor was a mixture of black and red bloody muck mixed with something that looked like water.
 
Water.
 
Shit.
 
It was then when you noticed Cup Cake had been issued the red card of command. She was barking out orders left and right. You never had been so scared of the mare in your entire life.
 
Then she looked at you.
 
You were immediately corrected, now you were more scared.
 
“Hun, I need you to run to the hospital and get Doctor Mend,” Cup said almost like a drill subject giving an order to a soldier.
 
“On it,” was all that you said, before you twisted in place and took a moment to set the filly down, next to her brother in the small playpen. She whined for your attention, but this was an emergency, and you could not run as fast with her in your arms.
 
Now you booked it.
 
Every step you took dug almost a full inch into the soil below your feet. It was almost comical, you felt like the Roadrunner out of the old cartoons.  The dust trail you left behind though was slowly fading as you bolted down the road at full speed. The dirt at your feet soon started to slosh against your shoes and now clung to you as you drove onward.
 
It was almost halfway down the road, when you spotted a soaking wet trio of crusaders walking down the road, each under their own rainbow umbrella hat.  You gave a polite nod as you kicked mud under their tails, you didn’t even stop.
 
Those three would be put to work soon enough. Worst of all, they will all finally find out where babies really come from. You could almost picture Apple Bloom’s face, finally getting to see her mom and her three new little siblings all in one day.
 
The rain only got heavier as you got closer to town. It was near the point that you could hardly see several feet in front of your face. As you past the bridge, you saw that you were right about your assumption of the flooding. There was tons of flooding over the bridge.
 
Not terrible flooding, just enough to be a real inconvenience for those handling a cart.
 
It was for a brief moment, however, you although it was trailing through the sky faster than you could see. You thought you saw Ixion, the lightning mare.   You had only heard rumors of the dangerous lighting monsters. They were rare, and were known for living high in the clouds to the north.
 
Very dangerous, but were well known for avoiding ponies like the plague.
 
Your gait was beginning to weigh on you, as you pass onto the main stretch of the road to the hospital. You could taste copper in the back of your mouth again, as your body started to give in.

You had forgotten to pick up iron at the pharmacy.
 
You blinked twice as you saw the strangest scene. Through the rain, was a single patch of pure sunlight, cascading down in a perfect cylinder. In the very dead center on the ground were three pegasi.
 
Two mares and a stallion. One of the mares was jet black, with a midnight blue mane, and cerulean eyes. The other was pure white, with a soft pink mane, and cyan eyes. The male had a dark mane, a charcoal grey coat, and the most piercing red eyes that you had ever laid eyes upon.
 
You charged by and only gave a slight wave when all three started to stared at you like you were the lunatic. While they were sipping tea in the rain. You were quite literally at a loss for words at what you were seeing.
 
Some shit just had you shake your head at and walk away.
 

 
“That was him!” Starry Night whispered to her compatriots, “he is the one I have been telling you about.”
 
The trio of the world’s most powerful beings sat there, sipping tea, as they watched the human run up the muddy slope of the hill to the hospital that was on top.
 
“Well, so that’s what a human is,” Discord said, as he took a long, drawn out sip of his beverage, “You sure know how to pick them, Luna.”
 
Celestia, though, had gotten herself into a small bind.  She now knew the name and a face to her sister’s infatuation. If she tried to sleep with the human, she knew it would just be to spite her sister, which is not what she wanted.
 
Again, she had to change her game plan. She needed a way to get close enough to the human and yet far enough away to make sure that she would be the innocent one in the act. She could use magic, but Luna could trace it back to her. Discord refused to use magic against the being, for some reason beyond her.
 
She also wondered just how long Discord would keep trying to play the nice guy routine. Why was he trying to be one? 

That did not matter right now, though.

No… she had to get the human to come to her.  That would be a more daunting of a task, without the use of her magic.
 
“Well, he certainly seems to be in rush, for whatever reason,” Celestia said, now trying to take in all your personal features.
 
Luna though just stared at you with longing. It had been so long since she felt the warm bubbly mirth and now there was nothing standing in her way.
 
Scratch that.
 
There was something, a pudgy, blue earth pony. She still had to find a way to deal with her. Normally, she would simply wait until she died, and then persuaded her romantic interest.
 
But that bitch threw a lamp at her.
 
Luna respected the natural ways of courting, but she also was a little spiteful, and believed in all is fair in love and war.
 
“I want you two to meet him,” Luna said almost like an excited filly, “As you are right now, I don’t think he can handle meeting the real two of you just yet,” Luna said, trying not give her real intentions away. She knew if her sister liked him, he could come to the castle. Maybe even stay in the room next to hers.
 
Deep down, the princess really did want an old fashioned type of romance. Courting, hoof holding, getting permission from mom and dad to date. Her being in heat didn’t make that easy, nor the fact she was now competing for your attention.
 
That morning, though, after she composed the harvest moon to a canvas, she went to work on something that she thought would be very fitting for her style of courtship.
 
A very stern and straightforward (just the way you liked it) love letter.
 
This put Discord in an awkward situation. He was a nice guy now, nice guys do nice things. Nice guys keep their word. He had told his new rival that he would not interfere in their little game of right and wrong.
 
Would it be intervening if he was invited to meet him? He wouldn’t be going as himself, he would be going as his alias, Discord. It was a perfect alias, no one would ever guess that. To sit down and have a one on one talk would give him a huge advantage...

One he needed.
 
“Well, I don’t see why not,” Discord said, as he sent a glance over at Celestia, “if Luna thinks so highly of him, I guess we can give him a chance to talk and see what he is like. Wouldn’t you like that Celestia? To talk to him, your sister does seem to care for him a lot.”
 
The sun goddess only sent a glance back at the draconequus; he really needed to stop dropping hints.
 
“I don’t see the harm, you said earlier, Lulu, that you were meeting him. I guess we all can have a little heart to heart then.”
 
Luna just nodded, as she gingerly stepped down on her tea. Things were starting to look up for her romantic life.

Discord looked down at his hoof, “Well this has been fun, but I had an appointment at the spa I must attend to.”

Luna and Celestia just looked at each other in silence.

They haven't been to a spa in years.
 

You left out the front door almost gasping for air. Finding the doctor was far simpler than you’d expected, the unicorn was quite literally in the main lobby as you ran in. A rare treat to not have to search the entire building looking for him.
 
It took a moment to get the words out, but he understood well enough for him and two of his medical team to teleport away.
 
Sometimes you really wish you could use magic, that would be really useful right about now.
 
Thankfully, your job was completed now. You were on your hands and knees, under the awning outside the front of the hospital, puking out all of your guts. Running fast for long distances was not one of your skills.
 
“God, I need to start running more,” You say to no one, having finally finished upending your lunch.
 
At least you had some free time to finish your chores in town. You really didn’t want to be there for the whole “miracle of life”. You remember your eighth grade health video. That was more than enough to last a lifetime.
 
Besides, you promised to help Inkie and Blinkie, and you still needed to talk to Luna. Maybe you could even have a chat with Carrot Cake, if there was time. You were in no hurry to get home.
 
“Are you ok?” you heard a soft voice you knew, and welcomed.
 
You twisted around in place, to look into the eyes Bonbon.  On her head was a black rain hat, and she was carrying her traditional saddle bags.
 
“Yeah, just trying not to die,” You gasp, fighting to regain control over your lungs, “How about you? What are you doing here?”
 
“I had to pick up some cream  for Lyra, she might be able to sit down, if I applied this to her rump,” Bonbon stated as she showed you the ointment,  “You have really good timing, I was hoping I could talk to you today.”
 
You propped yourself against the  wall, relishing your much needed breather.
 
“Come, sit, what did you want to talk about?”
 
Bonbon took a moment to free herself from her bags and took a seat on the cold partially dry cement next to you. She sat down right next to you with a low thump, cuddling next to your side to keep warm.
 
You were always warm, something she always liked about you.
 
“I heard from Mary, you got canned,” Bonbon said with a low sigh.
 
“Yup,” you said being a little more calm about the subject than most would be.
 
“Mary was almost frantic about it earlier today, She almost busted out crying when she found a way to get your house back.” Bonbon said with a smirk trying to get a raise out of you.
 
“That’s good,” you said knowing precisely what she was trying to do.
 
“Aren't you a little excited?“
 
“I was, when Cup Cake told me earlier: apparently Carrot Cake set the whole thing up like that to try to beg for his spot back. I just wish I was there to hear it,” you said, making strides to still your breath.
 
“I didn’t hear that part, do me a favor when Mary tells you, sound excited, she was almost on the verge of tears when she found out you were not losing your home,” Bonbon said snuggling closer; it was a little cold out, “She also told me that you asked her to join your herd, is that true?”
 
You were majorly conflicted, but you did promise that that would be the story, the “who asked who” shouldn’t really matter as long as the feelings were there.
 
“Yes,” you lied, “I asked her.”
 
“I see…. You do know about her past right? What she did?”
 
You were a little taken back that Bonbon of all ponies was talking about others past.
 
“She said something about it… she didn’t go into great detail,” You said honestly.
 
“It was fifteen years ago… Derpy was about to be married, until Mary decided to stick her hoof in and gum up the whole thing. As her friend I am putting that very mildly. Marriage is the one thing a mare can look forward to cement a relationship of love. To have it broken up because another mare wags her tail around a little bit is almost revolting.”
 
Well, you got another piece to that puzzle. You had heard that Derpy did have troubles when it came to stallions. Although, it was a first, hearing that she’d had her husband-to-be swept out from under her. Mary did say she regretted it, you had seen Derpy and Mary having coffee before, so their relationship had gotten better since then.
 
Still… it put a sour taste in the back of your mouth, even though you didn’t have the right to judge another’s past.

Friday was coming fast…
 
“Let’s not talk about it, Mary just wants to forget about it. It would hurt her feelings if she knew we were still talking behind her back.”
 
Even you had things in your past that you wanted to be swept under the rug.  
 
“I guess you’re right… well that’s not the reason why I wanted to talk to you, anyway. I wanted to thank you… I’ve been thinking for awhile on what I should do, and after what you showed me last night, I think I finally was able to make my choice.”
 
You blinked twice, “Are you going straight?”
 
Bonbon cringed, “Eww no, I wanted to know if you wanted to be my best mare at my wedding.”
 
[…]
 
You didn’t know if you wanted to take that as a compliment or an insult.
 
“Wait, you asked Lyra—“
 
“No not yet,” Bonbon said cutting you off, “Lyra can’t perform… sensually for a few weeks, so she decided to call in a few mares from our college years to come help me out this weekend… That is not the reason why I am waiting,” Bonbon added quickly, “in three weeks  is the day me and Lyra met on the swing set, all those years ago. I am going to propose then, on those same swings.”
 
“I would be honored to be your best mare. I don’t think I am the right gender, but who cares? I’m really happy for you, Bonbon,” You said, honestly.
 
Bon nestled again your neck, “I am glad to hear that. Also, would you mind doing the catering? I’ll pay, of course, but I want you to make my wedding cake as well.”
 
“I think I can work something up, maybe I’ll make a giant human hand, Lyra would love that.”
 
Bonbon didn’t laugh, but her eye shank to the size of pins as a moment of clarity washed over her.
 
“Oh crap, I need to get home! I promised Lyra that we would watch her favorite show together,” She sigh as she stood up and quickly got her saddle bag stepped to her back.
 
“I thought they stop airing My Little Seapony?”
 
She sighed, “There were going to, but they decided to renew the license for a fourth season. I still don’t get how she can watch something made for little colts.”
 
“I think is has good animation, not to mention Purdy is the best seapony,” You said with a smirk.

“You too?” Bonbon said with slightly raised brow.
 
“I watch it with Pinkie and the twins, every Saturday morning. Well, almost every Saturday,” You said, now taking a long stretch, “But I’m going to get going too I need to talk to Luna before it gets too late.”
 
“Have fun,” Bonbon yelled back through the rain.
 
All you could do was look on in wonderment, you were truly happy for her. Plus she was going to get some great lesbian action in the upcoming weeks. As for you, it was time for you to think about your herd. It was time to get your moon.
 

You may not have ever hated the rain, but now you were starting to get severely annoyed by it. The rain was starting to feel thick. Not to mention that you were pretty sure that Twilight’s spell was about to give in, your feet were starting to sink well over your ankles into the mud.
 
All this, and the jet black clouds overhead were making it hard to see.
 
What was on your mind, though, was neither that, nor the rain; it was Luna, you had been knocking on her door for well over five minutes in hopes that she would answer. There was no real reason to be out in a heavy rainstorm, so she should have been home.
 
Yet… she wasn’t. You peeked in through the window and all the lights were turned down.
 
You only sighed as you made your way down the motel doors. There was a small blessing thinking that both Luna, and Blinkie & Inkie were in the same area.
 
        Although, it was very small.

Thump-thump
 
You gave the door a few solid knocks, as tried your best to stand on under the awning.  This time, you were rewarded with the soft skittering hoof steps of the filly-looking mare Blinkie, as she struggled to open the door.
 
“Sorry to keep you waiting in that cold rain,” Inkie yelled from across the small kitchen area, “Please, do come in.”
 
You could smell it. The second the door cracked opened. It wasn’t the smell of mares, nor the smell of the musty hotel room. You almost came in your pants the moment you filled your lungs with the delicate aroma.
 
They were cooking real meat.
 
Your olfactory system was correct. You looked at the stove and saw, not one, but three streaks, covered in some kind of white cream, with little mushrooms.
 
The smell was enough to make your eyes derp out for a second.
 
“Come in and dry off, I would hate for you to catch a cold,” Blinkie said in repose.
 
There was a small pinch in the back of your mind, like something was almost telling you that this was a very dangerous place to be in.
 
But there was meat, nothing bad ever happens when there is meat around.
 
Perfectly sound logic.
 
“It seems you two are having a nice day,” you said, trying to pry your eyes off the stack of meat.
 
“Oh dear, you're soaking wet. Go into the bathroom and take a nice hot shower. The dryer is on the left, go get all nice and cleaned up,”  Inkie commanded, like a mother talking to her foals.
 
You were not going to argue, a nice hot shower, and getting dry sounded like a dream come true at the moment. Although the pinch was almost screaming at you. Something just wasn’t feeling right.

Plus there was meat, which meant there was a small chance of you getting some of that meat.
 

 
Both the twins almost lost their lunch once they heard the sound of the shower starting. The smell of the cooked meat was starting to get the herbivores. Not to mention, they had to completely change their speech patterns to help out in the endeavor of their plan.
 
“Sister, I can’t go through with this. You sleep with him!” Blinkie whined, as she scooted over to the other side of the room farthest away from the bathroom
 
“Sister, you not only lost the coin flip, but I let you be Pinkie the last seven times. Only one of us has to do it, and now it’s time for you to pay the piper,” Inkie huffed, as she sprayed some room freshener.
 
“Please, let’s both do it at least. I don’t want my first time with a guy to be with... that thing. His features are all angled, and he smells like cut grass.”
 
“Come now sister, just think. One time, and that is all it will take for Pinkie to come back home to us. We all know how Pinkie Pie is. One ‘I’m Sorry’ and that guy goes home scott free with Pinkie. We cannot let that happen.”
 
“Sister, if we just wait he, will be out of the picture anyway.”
 
“We don’t want Pinkie to be stuck on her dead lover,  she stills sends flowers to the grave of her old dead goldfish.”
 
Blinkie huffed, “I guess you have a point…”
 
Blinkie purred a little as Inkie brushed the underside of her tail, teasing her wanting clit.
 
“Besides, after all is said and done, you will have me, I’ll take care of you the right way.” Inkie cooed as she nipped the end of her sister’s ear.
 
“Please don’t… you know what that does to—” She cut herself off, as she felt her sister’s hoof rub against her small rose bud.
 
“I know how you like that, dear sister. Tonight, I will give you that extra special treatment you have been hinting at.”
 
Blinkie Pie, however was almost about to cum, she had an extremely sensitive backside. She loved having her butt played with as her sister was muzzle deep in her nethers.
 
“Ok,” Blinkie squeaked.
 
“Good. Now, go get dressed into that little number we picked up today,” Inkie said, as she prodded her sister forward, “Don’t come out until I say ok, I need to drum up a backstory for you. Don’t forget your line, this needs to be convincing.”
 
Blinkie wasn’t worried, she took acting in high school.
 

You stepped out of the shower after using almost all of the complementary soap and shampoo. Nothing like a hot shower, and getting out to nice warm clothes, fresh from the dryer.
 
Today was actually a really good day. It may have started off bad, but there were enough good things to go around making it well worth it. You might even thank Carrot.
 
…Probably not.
 
You were now silky smooth, and no longer smelling of sweat and mares.  Your favorite black hoodie and dark forest green cargo shorts draped over your body like a heman.
 
Pushing through the bathroom door, you were greeted by an almost heart wrenching sight. Inkie was sitting at the small table in the middle of the room. Alone. Her head was resting on her front hooves, and her pure black mane was covering her eyes.
 
You could clearly hear her soft whimpering.

You really had wanted to better your relationship with both Blinkie and Inkie, maybe now you could close that huge gap that had alway been between you three. Now was as good a time as any to try.
 
“What’s wrong?” you asked, taking a seat directly across from her.
 
She looked up hesitantly and then away from you, “It’s nothing you would be concerned about.”
 
“Oh… that time of the month?” you said, stating the one thing that you would care not to hear about.
 
“No…” Inkie said resisting the urge to bury her face in her hooves, “It’s Blinkie... We just got a telegram while you were in the shower. Her boyfriend just broke up with her.”
 
“Oh, crap,” you said, looking to the only other room in the apartment, “That must hurt, and with the frolic so near too.” You knew that both Inkie and Blinkie, despite the way they looked, were still mares. They were affected by the season, just like everyone else.
 
“Yes, she really liked him too. He was going to have dinner with us tonight, but now all this meat we bought is going to go to waste,” Blinkie said, as she looked over that the warm stack of beef.
 
Your mind was first on the well being on Blinkie, no matter how great the meat smelled you just didn’t have the heart to get dissuaded. You were no monster.
 
“Can I talk to her? I may be able to help. A kind word goes a long way.”
 
Inkie just blinked. That was the next step after he was supposed to eat the meat she had gotten from the gryphon caravans. It was laced with enough of Zecora’s special medicine to get an elephant hard for hours.
 
Meat being a good catalyst to hide the taste.
 
“Maybe you should, but first would you like to dispose of this meat? I don’t think Blinkie would like to see it thrown out, after all the hard work she put in to cook it for him.”
 
She knew how much you loved meat, thanks a certain pink sister of hers.
 
“I guess I can,” you said almost creaming your pants on the offer. Inkie was even nice enough to get the plate for you and everything. You didn’t waste any time cutting into the meat. It was a prime cut, to be sure, although something hit you as you were about to sink in your first bite. “Wait… Blinkie was dating a meat eater? I thought ponies didn’t eat meat?”
 
“Oh... right, she was dating a gryphon!” Inkie said, stating the first omnivore she thought of.
 
“Really? That must be hard on her. They travel the country most of the year, don’t they? And he breaks up with her, right before she needed him most. What a jerk.”
 
“Yes… its truly heart wrenching,” Inkie deadpanned,  “Now, dig in. She made it herself.”
 
“Well, I was never one to throw away food.”
 
It took one minute and forty three seconds for you to consume all three steaks. The sauce was good, and the meat was really well cooked, but the quality of the meat easily was the down turn for the dish. It was really low grade, but you were not complaining.
 
Anything is better than another god damn salad.
 
“That was really good,” You said licking your lips.
 
“Well, you should tell that to her. She is a little down, and could use a comforting word or two. She is in the back room.” Inkie nodded to the only door in the small apartment that you haven’t been into.

Now you were going to do something you never thought you would do, be nice to Blinkie.
 
You made your way to the back room, you really wanted to find some way to cheer up the down hearted mare. The room was dimly lit and the curtains was closed shut.  You could tell were Blinkie was, the moment you walked into the small bedroom
 
There was only a small lump in the center of the bed queen size bed.
 
You had to approach this situation in the only way you knew how, from what you learned on television. You could have drawn from life experiences, but thats no fun.
 
Slowly, you peel back the flannel sheets to see the silver maned mare curled up in a little ball. Your best guess was that she got the message while getting dressed, all she was wearing was a very subjective black thong that was caught over her tail. You didn’t have the heart to tell her it was on backwards.
 
“You wanna talk for a little bit?” you asked in a fatherly tone of voice.
 
She squirmed a little and tried to worm her way back under the covers.
 
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
 
“Really?” you said drawing back the cover some more. “How about you at least show me that pretty face of yours?”
 
Blinkie almost gaged, she never wanted you to call her pretty, but she needed to play her role.
 
“You think I’m pretty?” she squeaked.
 
“I do,” you said honestly. Both Inkie and Blinkie were quite pretty, you just had to look past the fact that Diamond Tiara looked older than both of them to see it. “Look, I know it hurts a lot, but I know you can do better than some puffed up gryphon. I am sure there are tons of stallions out there who would be dying to get to know you.”
 
Blinkie scooted closer into the divot you were making in the bed, she laid her head on your lap. For a brief moment she lost her composure, she felt the tiny patch of bare skin were your shorts stopped. What got to her was the warmth. It felt like she was laying of a sandy beach on a hot summer day.
 
She’d rather cut her tongue out than admit she liked it, so even she denied herself that.
 
You were about to protest her getting so close, but you just didn’t have the heart to. She was in a very vulnerable spot. The least you could do was give her a little attention to make her feel better.
 
“Thank you,” Blinkie whispered as she started to cuddle against your warm skin. It was almost magical how much heat it was admitting. “I am glad to think there is somepony else out there who thinks I am.”
 
“Well I know Pinkie thinks you’re pretty, she talks about you and Inkie all the time.”
 
Blinkie’s ears perk up a little at Pinkie’s name, “R-really?  Pinkie thinks we’re pretty?”
 
“Yeah. She loves hang out with you two and she keeps trying to think of schemes to try and get us all to hang out together…” You said, as you start to pet her mane.
 
The big ball inside the filly was starting to slowly erode away, as minutes slipped by. Blinkie, after a few minutes of nudging and nestling, found herself on top of your crotch curled up like a kitten, It was one of the most comfortable places she had ever relaxed on.
 
The best part, was she had to do next to no talking, and you two were talking about her favorite subject, Pinkie Pie. It felt oddly comforting, being around another being that admired her sister as much as she did. She knew you liked Pinkie, but now at least she knew the depth of it.
 
Slowly though, very slowly, it was working its way into the filly like a disease about to take its first victim.
 
Blinkie blinked.
 
She was about to start actually enjoying herself.
 
No, that was not part of the plan, actually she was behind. She had finally noticed that well over an hour had passed since you had entered the room, and you still were filling her ears with comforting sentiments.  She was supposed to have had sex and taken a shower by now to clean off.
 
She also wanted to know where this erection was, she knew you had eaten all the meat. The walls were damn near paper thin, she should at least feel a bump, yet she was resting in comfort.  More than anything, she didn’t want you to stop petting her. It was the oddest, most enjoyable feeling, have those fingers caress her back and down to her tail.
 
But now, she had to steel her nerves. She had a job to do!
 
…Just five more minutes.
 

You were running out of stuff to say and your fingernails now had a polish that could outshine Rarity’s hooves after a spa trip. You really wanted to lift her spirits, but there was only so much you could do in say. You were kind of surprised you got that much.
 
“Do you at least feel a little bit better, Blinkie?”
 
Her response sounded something of a gurgle mixed with the mewing of a cat.
 
“I’ll take that as a yes,” You said, as you finished giving dragging your nails across her back for the final time.
 
“Hmmm, don’t stop, I’m still sad,” Blinkie whined, she had completely forgotten her task of seduction.
 
“Maybe I’ll come back tomorrow, but didn’t you need to me to move something, or something like that? I have stuff to do tonight.”
 
Blinkie didn’t want it to end, she like the attention. There was something nice about having somepony just sit and listen to your every word as you cooed sweet nothings into her ear. None were romantic in nature, but there were a few she could have taken as ‘suggestive’.
 
No, she wanted this to last longer, plus she still needed to sleep with you.
 
“Wait… there is something I wanted to tell you, something I haven’t been able to say until just now,” Blinkie said, as she craned her head up to you looking right into your eyes with her pure golden orbs.

“What is it?” You asked.
 
“It was my ex-boyfriend,” she said knowing she had to come up with something grand to keep you here, comforting her.  “Last night… he tried to take advantage of me.” She knew full well of that you were a nice guy, Pinkie wouldn’t shut up about you. She knew full well how to get you to continue to be by her side for just a little longer.

Something very dangerous, though, started to wash inside the little filly.
 
“What did you say?”
 
Blinkie shuddered, as the word fell out of your mouth. They were not caring or kind, they carried a dark tone, each word dripping with something she’d never heard come from you.
 
It was anger.
 
“Last night… he came here and tried to force himself onto me. I wasn’t feeling well, so I asked him to leave. I think that’s why he dumped me,” Blinkie said nuzzling against your hoodie. She really wanted you to caress her coat again. It felt so good.
 
What she felt though wasn’t the warm touch of your fingers, it was the absence of gravity as she felt the hand cradle her like a foal.
 
“Tell me, what caravan was he in?” Blinkie could not see your face from where she was at, all she could make out was the dark shadows etched on your face.
 
Blinkie didn’t understand fully, the gryphon was made up on the spot. She knew if she got the name of a wrong caravan she would be caught lying and the whole evening would be ruined. She could only think of one name, the name of the caravan they She and Inkie bought the meat from that morning.
 
“It was the Steel Wing caravan.” Blinkie said.
 
“Good,” you carried the filly out of the back room before she could pretest. Outside was Inkie  who was laying head down eyes shut almost twenty minutes ago. You made sure to rest a blanket on her, it was starting to get chilly.
 
“What are we doing?” Blinked said as you slipped on your shoes.
 
“Nothing. Just going out for a little walk,” you lied.
 
“In the rain? It absolutely pouring outside.”
 
“You’re right…” You grabbed Inkie’s black umbrella hat. You moved Blinkie to Diamond Tiara’s favorite spot, in the crux of your hoodie as she was now sitting on your palm. She tried her hardest not to think about your abnormally hot appendages rubbing against her backside.  
 
She wasn’t supposed to be enjoying herself, but she was.
 
“Where are we going?”
 
“Out.”
 

Being a merchant, even if it was just of confections, you had gained quite a bit of knowledge on the ins and outs of the ways of the world. One thing you knew for sure, was that after a hard day of trading, wheeling, and dealing, everyone likes to unwind and have a drink, and talk about how much money they made.
 
Gryphons were no different. There was only one bar in the entire town that was large enough to accommodate the entire of a gryphon caravan.
 
The Broken Bit, a place that Rainbow Dash introduced you to, of all ponies.  Here, if you had the bits, you could get anything. It was well known that if you were looking for ‘company’, this was the place to go. Several stallions were upstairs, just lying in beds, waiting for their next client to come in.
 
You were not here for that, nor would you ever be.
 
It wasn’t a shady place, the bar was well lit with candles on the walls and on the opposite side of the bar there was even a playroom for fillies and colts. The owner was very meticulous to make sure that all those who came in to this place were well off and comfortable.
 
You set Blinkie down outside under at a table just outside the door, and you draped her in you black hoodie. She was still half dressed.
 
“Blinkie what is your ex-boyfriends name?”  you said in almost a oddly tender tone.
 
Blinkie just looked at you with a confused look, “His name is Girdling Mchamilfrogoden…. Stine,” Blinkie said, making up some gibberish on the spot.
 
You nodded to her, as you walked into the bar. The heavy iron door shut behind you with a low thump. The smell of alcohol was definitely on the beaks of every single gryphon in the room.  You were right to guess this is the place they would go.
 
The bar though went silent as the stranger walked into the bar. You were on one single mission. To find Blinkie’s ex-boyfriend, and beat the everloving shit out of him.

You knew you had to be tactful and cunning to get what you needed.
 
“Which one of you feathered fucks is Girdling Mchamilf…. Something Stine!”
 
(A/N One good way to piss off a room full of gryphons, is by addressing them all as ‘feathered fucks’. Now you know.)
 

Blinkie was enjoying her time outside the bar, though she was still denying the fact she was enjoying herself. Now, more than ever, the smell of your hoodie was the only scent in the air, and now she could watch the rain fall.
 
She was kind of hoping that you would bring out some drinks, so the both of you could enjoy some more time together. She kinda wanted to get to know you a little better.
 
Purely for the sake of sex, she would never take actual interest in you.
 
Or that is what she told herself.
 
She remembered the prediction she had had of your demise… part of her started to wonder if that could be prevented. All of her visions came true…  maybe just this one time she could prevent it…

For Pinkie’s sake.
 
Blinkie’s train of thought was derailed, as she got a huge whiff of your scent from your hoodie. It struck her in all the right ways. She knew she was not supposed to enjoy it, but her main goal was to wrap herself around your waste.
 
She couldn’t help it if she had to ‘pretend’ to like your smell.
 
Yeah, she could work with that knowledge.
 
The golden eyed filly-mare wrapped herself in your hoodie, a stray bleat left her lips, as her nethers brushed up against something in one of the pockets. It was at that moment she noticed her wetness was starting to soak into the shirt.
 
Her coat turned scarlet, as she saw the stains her body was leaving. She was in heat, it wasn’t her fault.
 
Then, a very dirty idea drifted into the back of her mind. She looked back and forth down the street, with the heavy rain there was no one to see or hear her and the hoodie was already wet.  She needed to keep a clear mind to stay on track…
 
Perfect excuse.
 
Carefully, she raised her nethers and brushed it against the hard object that was in the hoodie. The smooth texture of the spider silk hoodie, with the thick hardness of the mystery object sent a chill down her spine as she rub it against her tiny button.
 
Each thrust added another whine, as her pristine pussy now tried to open to allow entrance, but the object was far too thick. Her small petite frame tried it hardest to absorb the fore matter. Each time she rocked back and forth, a new stain of her slick juices was absorbed into the cloth.
 
A deep breath escaped her lips, as her breathing started to become more frantic. With each bob of her head, she feels her body starting to slip into euphoria.
 
As hard as she tried though, they couldn’t get a clear image of Pinkie in her mind. A certain human kept coming into her mind, and the warm tight embrace of your body comforting her.
 
Caressing her.
 
Touching her.
 
Rubbing those hands on her body.
 
Caring for her needs and wants.
 
Wiggling as she went, Blinkie started to gyrated her hips in a circular motion, as she was starting to near the peak of her bliss. She pressed it firmly up against her coat, and stroked it intimately.
 
Little by little, Blinkie can feel her orgasm building up, as small beads of sweat started to drip down her face.  All of her inner folds were screaming at her, as the tiny shocks were now bursting inside of her.
 
Her eyes almost crossed, as the scent of your human musk filled her snout again, sending her over the edge. Her whole body locked up in place as her slit releases far more than she wanted.
 
Crash
 
The very moment Blinkie had finished her solo experience against the mystery object. The window behind her shattered, as a gryphon with black and grey wings flew out of the window, face first into the mud of the street.
 
It was kind of a mood killer.
 
Next came the sound of the large iron door being opened.  Blinkie’s heart almost stopped as she saw you leave the bar.
 
Your white undershirt was ripped, and covered with a mixture of sweat, beer, blood, and feathers. There was a large gash below your left eye, but other than that, it seemed like the blood all belonged to someone else.
 
“What did you do?” Blinkie said, slightly frantic.
 
You looked down to her and just raised an eyebrow, “I gave them a stern lecture.”
 
“B-bu, you’re cut... and your shirt…”
 
“I give very enthusiastic lectures.” You finished with a smile. “I’m sorry I couldn’t find your boyfriend in there, they said they never had anyone like that.”
 
“So… wait you came here to…” It was at that very moment Blinkie put the pieces together.
 
“To give him a very stern lecture. But, you know what they say. ‘Birds of a feather flock together.’ So I figured that one of them was covering for him.”
 
“So…” Blinkie said as she looked at the deep cut.
 
“So I gave them all a very stern lecture on how to treat a lady,” You said, giving a toothy grin.
 
Blinkie just couldn’t think at that moment. This was the most stupid, haphazard event that has ever happened to her.
 
That is including everything Pinkie has ever done.
 
Yet there were two very dangerous emotions that were starting to form inside the gut of the filly.
 
One was a golden mirth, that she refused to acknowledge. To think of that emotion with anything other than her sisters was completely out of the question.
 
The other… was guilt.
 
Her lie got you hurt. She may not have liked you very much… but she never wanted to see you harmed. Yet there you stood, bloodied and bruised. All because she lied.
 
It was her fault.
 
(She never even thought of the gryphons.)
 
You bend down, and tussle her mane a little, “Don’t worry, you will find a nice guy someday, and he will love you for you. Next time, though, try to find a guy puts your needs before his own,” You finished, as you gave her a gentle tap on the snout.
 
No words came past her lips, she was at a loss for what she could possibly say.
 
You strap on your umbrella hat, and after getting Blinkie out of it, put back on your black hoodie. It felt oddly wet.
 
“Why is my hoodie wet?”
 
Blinkie looked away, “There was a small puddle on the chair…”
 
“Huh, it looked dry to me, well let’s get out of here, before the owner comes out, and tries to bill me for the tables I broke.”
 
Blinkie didn’t want to question your lecturing methods.
 
“What is in your pocket,” Blinkie asked, as she looked at the bulge in your hoodie, she was kind of curious to see what she’d violated. After zipping her back up and resting in the crux of the hoodie you pulled out the only item you had on you.
 
The ironwood ocarina.
 
“This is what you were feeling. It’s an instrument from my world.” You put your lips to the mouth piece and give it a quick blow. Blinkie tried to say something but you were too fast. You pull away from the instrument as you licked your lips several times. “Weird… my mouth piece tastes like lemons and creme.”
 
Blinkie could only wonder what crème it was, this moment she was now locking away tightly in her mind, and she was hoping that she would soon forget.
 
“Blinkie, I need to stop by my house to grab a new hoodie, it’s just right around the corner.” You didn’t want her getting wet; it was your own fault for putting her in a puddle.
 
You were trying to get on her good side too.
 
Blinkie only nodded, as she was left to her thoughts. Right now, you were the strangest thing on her mind, and you weren’t leaving any time soon.
 

The rain was not showing any quarter, it was the strangest thing, though. As far as you could, see the entirety of the storm was just raining down on Ponyville. Every single drop felt like it was about to tear through the small umbrella hat.
 
At the front door of your previous place of employment, there was a small note that was stuck to the inside of the glass.
 
Sugarcube Corner will be closed temporarily, due to personal Issues. If you wish to talk to Carrot Cake, please come to Forest Pine Inn. Room Forty Seven.
-Carrot Cake
 
The door was locked, although with a simple twist and a turn of your copy of the house key gain entrance to the store.  All the lights were turned down, and the whole store was almost pitch black.
 
This place was scary at night. First came on the lights, before you even took your first step. Then you smelled something…
 
It smelled like… you couldn’t place it. The whole place just reeked of it though.
 
“This place stinks,” Blinkie commented as she buried her muzzle in your hoodie.
 
You were not worried about the smell, though. You had just remembered as the floorboards below your feet now started to bow. You took great care to step on only the planks that you know had a support beams under them. You had become quite acquainted with those spots, during your first few weeks here.
 
The walk up the stairs almost gave you a heart attack, though. It felt like every single step was about to give way and send you down into the kitchen below. Maybe getting a new hoodie was not the greatest idea.
 
Thankfully you didn’t fall, and you knew right where all the support beams were to step on upstairs.  The main part of the house was a mess, all thanks to you, as you tried to pack just the essentials. Now you just feel a little foolish.
 
“This place is a mess,” Blinkie said stating the obvious.
 
“Yeah, it’s a long story,” You said, as you let the filly-mare out of you shirt, “I’m going to get dressed.”
 
Blinkie only nodded as she saw you strip down to you bare chest. It was now that she had realized, this was the first time that you two had ever really spent any time together that wasn’t around Pinkie or Inkie.
 
Although that thought drifted away as she saw you take off your ripped white undershirt. You smooth skin glistened slightly with a mixture of rain and, known only to her, her own aftermath.
 
You never really looked, but your lower back was exceedingly toned, That was all thanks Pinkie, and her endeavors in the bedroom.
 
Blinkie was now looking. She could feel the itch coming back to her loins, as she watched you bend over again and again in attempts to find your white hoodie.  She knew what she had to do, itch or no, she was supposed to be riding your waist like a broken rag doll.
 
That was the whole point of all of this.
 
She was a mare, just like every other mare. She was wearing a sexy pink thong, and her body was willing. (More so than even she would like to admit.)  There was a bed not ten steps away. It was the bed Pinkie sleeps in nonetheless.
 
A small perk.
 
She took a moment to compose her thoughts to her upcoming task.
 
She closed her eyes and took a deep breath.
 
And almost died.
 
Blinkie fell face first against the table as she was enveloped by a rolling plume of smoke.
 

 
You whip around at the sound of Blinkie trying to force her lungs out of her body. Now it was your turn to be hit by the cloud of smoke.
 
“Oh shit.”
 
It took only half a second to realize what the horrid smell was down stairs was.
 
Gas.
 
You best guess was that one of the four tanks in the basement sprung a leak.