Chapter Six: What The Heart Needs
Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo pulled up to the Carousel Boutique on Scootaloo’s scooter. The shop was empty for the moment, though several ponies lingered by the large round display windows showing off the latest designs in Rarity’s fall line. Sweetie led her friends to the side door which opened into the small kitchen. “Technically,” she whispered to her friends, “I’m banned from the kitchen until I get my cutie mark, but it should be okay as long as we’re just passing through.” The three friends crept through the empty kitchen quietly and up the stairs to the shop’s living area.
They heard Rarity singing to herself in her ‘inspiration room’, the large round room at the top of the Carousel Boutique that sometimes did double duty as Rarity’s bedroom. “Good,” Sweetie Belle said to Apple Bloom, “she’s singing her dressmaking song. That means she’s in a good mood. C’mon, let’s knock.” Still, she hesitated before interrupting her big sister. Scoots rolled her eyes and knocked.
Rarity’s melodious singing cut off and they heard her hoofsteps on the hardwood floor. Moments later, Rarity opened the door and smiled when she saw the Crusaders. “Well, hello there girls! I’m sorry, but Sweetie’s banned from the kitchen for a while... I can get you some snacks in a moment.” She began to close the door, but Apple Bloom put a hoof in the door.
“I’m sorry, Rarity, but we’re not lookin’ for snacks,” she explained quickly, “we need your help.”
Rarity opened the door with a mildly intrigued, amused expression on her face. She had her orange horn-rimmed glasses perched at the end of her nose and several pencils floating around her, gripped in her telekinetic magic. “Well, who am I to deny anypony help when they need it?” Rarity quipped, smiling gently. “Come on in girls!”
The Crusaders filed in slowly, careful not to disturb any of the stacks of bolts of cloth, ponikins, and various easels and half-finished dresses that crowded the room. “Sorry about the mess darlings,” Rarity called airily over her shoulder as she led them into the room. She cleared a space on a fainting couch and took her seat, lounging at her ease. Finally, she levitated the glasses from her face, putting them neatly on a desk behind her and smiled at the Crusaders. “Now, how could little ol’ moi possibly help the Cutie Mark Crusaders?”
Scoots looked distinctly uncomfortable and Sweetie Belle was suddenly bashful, but Apple Bloom cleared her throat and said, “Well Rarity, y’remember yesterday at lunch? When I was askin’ all them questions about love an’ all that romantical stuff?”
Rarity blinked, but otherwise carefully masked her surprise. “Why yes, I do remember something like that... Do you have more questions?”
Apple Bloom glanced at Sweetie Belle and Rarity’s little sister took up the thread, “Not really. More of a request.”
“A request!” Rarity chuckled, looking between the three fillies and raising an eyebrow, “How...mysterious! Please, do go on!”
Apple Bloom sighed, seeming to reach a decision. “Okay. Here goes. My sister’s in love with Twilight Sparkle an’ don’t know it. We’re tryin’ to get them both to realize that they do know it and to be together. But we cain’t write love letters, so we need your help.”
Rarity blinked again, trying to process the sudden flood of words from the small yellow filly. She knew that the words meant things individually, but when they were put all together... No, she thought numbly, no, she can’t possibly mean... She couldn’t help it. She burst out giggling. The giggle turned into a laugh. She snorted, mortified that she was doing it, but unable to prevent it. Apple Bloom hung her head and turned to walk out of the room. “Wait!” Rarity gasped. “Please! I-I’m not l-l-laughing at you!” She dissolved into a fit of giggles again.
Apple Bloom didn’t stop, but muttered, “Yeah, I can see you ain’t laughin’ at us. C’mon girls, let’s try an’ make the love letters ourselves.” Sweetie Belle glared daggers at her sister, and put a comforting foreleg around the shoulders of her friend. Scoots trotted to the door, eager to get out of the uncomfortable situation.
Rarity ruthlessly beat back the fit of laughter that threatened to overtake her, took a deep breath and tried again, “Apple Bloom! Please, don’t go.” Apple Bloom paused. Rarity stood up from the couch and approached her, doing her best to hide the smile that wanted to spread itself across her face. “Please understand that you simply shocked me, darling. I-I’m not used to thinking of your big sister...or Twilight for that matter--” a quick burst of giggles again, quickly stifled, “--like that! Now... how did you reach this, ah, intriguing conclusion?”
Apple Bloom looked between her friends, then shrugged and turned around to face Rarity again. “Well,” she started, “y’know my sister: she wouldn’t let ‘er personal feelins’ cause anypony any trouble.” Rarity nodded, gesturing for Apple Bloom to continue. “Well, Twilight’s just like ‘er! They’re both so concerned with gettin’ their own work done that they don’t even stop to consider themselves at all!”
Rarity thought about that and nodded. It was true. Both Twilight and Applejack were concerned with their work almost to the exclusion of all else. Still... “Darling, as true as that is, it still does not mean that they...love...each other. Surely there’s something else? Something you’ve seen?”
“Well, not so much seen... But Twilight’s so nice! And my sister needs a special somepony!” Apple Bloom pleaded, “Rarity, cain’t you please help us! It’s not for us, it’s for my sister... And Twilight!”
Rarity shook her head slowly, “Oh Apple Bloom... That’s sweet. Really! But, dear, I simply can’t do anything like that.” Apple Bloom’s face fell. “I’m sorry, truly I am. But your sister and Twilight are simply friends. Sometimes it can be easy to mix up such close friendships with, ah, deeper feelings, but that’s all it is, darling, friendship!” She patted Apple Bloom’s shoulder gently with a foreleg.
Sweetie Belle narrowed her eyes and cleared her throat, “Rainbow Dash thinks they’re in love. She busted up the storm so Applejack and Twilight could have a date!”
Rarity’s eyebrow twitched. Her expression of careful sympathy suddenly became strained. “Rainbow...Dash? So that’s what that was...” She muttered. Then she cleared her throat and tossed her mane as casually as she could. “Girls... Perhaps I was being just a little hasty. You’re right! Everypony does deserve a special somepony. And why not Twilight and Applejack? What can I do to help though?”
Sweetie Belle threw a surreptitious wink at Apple Bloom who smiled quickly at each other. Scoots spoke up, “Well, we thought that we’d help ‘em get together if we were to write some lovey-dovey romantic kind of letters and left ‘em at their doors. Anonym...Anino...So they don’t know who wrote ‘em.” Apple Bloom nodded.
“Love letters is it?” Rarity mused, a slow smile spreading on her face, “Well, that’s certainly well within my talents! All right, girls, shall we discuss what kind of love letters you’d like to, ah, deliver to Applejack and Twilight?”
“Well,” Sweetie Belle said, “they need to confess their true feelings for eachother... But they need to know who the letter is from, even though they’re anonymous!”
“Yes...” Rarity murmured quietly, already thinking of a dozen ways to start the letters, and dismissing them as quickly. She wasn’t about to let Rainbow Dash out-do her in the relationship department!
~*.*~
Applejack set a plate of hot pancakes down in front of Rainbow Dash, who greedily smacked her lips and used a wing to drench them in maple syrup. She dug in with a will, eagerly shoveling the tasty treat into her mouth. The three mares were in Applejack’s kitchen. Rainbow Dash was seated at the table while Applejack leaned against the counter, a cup of cold cider in front of her. Twilight was leaning against the counter next to Applejack, still standing very close. She also had a very faint blush on her cheeks that had not let up since Rainbow Dash had found them in the meadow on the Southern edge of the orchard.
They were silent now. Applejack’s cheeks were also slightly redder than normal and she studiously avoided looking anywhere but at her friend. She was feeling all jumbled up. She’d never felt like this around anypony, much less such a close friend! I mean, Twilight n’ I have always gotten along... Like two peas in a pod! But I ain’t never... She glanced at Twilight out of the corner of her eye and gulped. Twilight’s mane was hiding her eyes, but she could have sworn she saw the lavender unicorn looking at her. What happened back there?
Twilight’s blush deepened. Sweet Celestia, she thought frantically, what’s going on?! Let’s see... heightened pulse, increased respiration to bring more oxygen to the brain, increased perspiration...these are all symptoms for, let’s see...sleep deprivation? She considered, flipping through her mental calendar, No. I’ve been getting my full, allotted eight and a half hours of sleep a night. Thyroid disorder? Graves’ disease? Symptoms of amphetamine withdrawal?! She was hyperventilating. She just knew she was hyperventilating. She glanced between the strands of her mane over at Applejack. But the orange farmpony was utterly casual and comfortable in her homey country kitchen.
Rainbow Dash ignored them both, concentrating entirely upon shoveling the pancakes as quickly as she possibly could. She was already halfway through them and was going for the record. “Mmmhphhmph?” She called out to Applejack.
“Huhwhatnow!?” Applejack startled. She glanced around a bit frantically, but nothing seemed to be on fire... Rainbow Dash cleared her throat and Applejack breathed a sigh of relief. It was only Dash.
“Y’got any more of those pancakes there Applejack?” Rainbow Dash asked again, her mouth now clear of pancake.
“Uh,” Applejack glanced at the skillet on the stove and panicked for a second. She had left the pancake sitting in the skillet! She quickly cantered over to it and flipped it. Luckily, it wasn’t burnt. Crispy, definitely, but not burnt.
Rainbow Dash watched the whole production with a very smug smile. Her eyes slid between Twilight and Applejack and she decided that she’d have a little fun. “So...Twilight?” Twilight startled and shook her head as if to clear it. “What d’you think of Applejack’s mane today?”
Twilight smiled and said dreamily, “Oh, it was just lovely today wasn’t it? Do you think she brushed it today? It glimmered in the sunlight! Like...” she trailed off, blushing furiously.
“Burnished gold?” Rainbow Dash finished, grinning. Applejack was involved in pancake-making, so she wasn’t about to mess with Applejack. But it was totally worth it to see Twilight’s expression just now!
Twilight Sparkle glared at Rainbow Dash. Not sleep deprivation, not amphetamine withdrawals... She brushed her mane out of her eyes and glanced back at Applejack. Her mane really does look great today... Does she do anything with it?
For her part, Applejack was concentrating intensely on the apple pancakes. It was quite convenient for her that the oven was facing away from the other two ponies. It hid the blush that was growing on her cheeks and extending down her neck. So Twilight likes my mane, does she? Why had she never really cared before. She glanced back at Twilight and surreptitiously patted her mane, tucking a few stray hairs back into place. Oh shoot! Pancake’s gonna burn!
Rainbow Dash’s breakfast seemed to be endless to the two distracted mares. Finally though, the cerulean pegasus gave a jaw-cracking yawn and rubbed at her eyes. “Mind if I crash in your bed?” She yawned again.
“Nah, y’all go right ahead, Dash. It’s upstairs and--”
“--third door on the right. Yeah, I know! You act like I’ve never seen your room before, sheesh!” Rainbow rolled her eyes, “All right, I get it. You want some aloooooone time with your lover-girl, I can understand!” She made kissy faces at the two of them and trotted went upstairs, chuckling to herself.
As her hoofsteps faded down the hall her absence left a rather painfully awkward silence in her wake. Finally, it was Twilight who broke the silence. “Definitely not Graves’ disease.”
“Say what now?” Applejack asked, bemused.
Twilight blushed--again--and shook her head. “Uh, nothing. Um...” She cast about desperately for something--anything!--to say, but was drawing a complete blank.
“So...” Applejack said, then trailed off, also unable to think of anything to say.
“Thanksforteachingmeaboutappletreesand--”
“Y’all’rewelcometocomeonoveranytimeyouwanted--”
They both stopped talking and giggled. Twilight finally looked up and into Applejack’s big green eyes--the first time since they’d come in from the meadow--and once again found herself being drawn into them. Applejack caught her breath and quickly said, “Um, yeah. So, I gotta actually really fix that fence down there...”
“Right!” Twilight said, shaking her head, clearing it for a moment. “The fence! Of course! Yes...The library needs to actually be open for a little while today. So I need to go. Yes.”
“I’ll walk y’all to the door then!” Applejack said brightly.
They walked in silence through the house, both close together but not--quite--touching. Applejack opened the door for Twilight and the lavender unicorn brushed past her, her tail brushing Applejack’s fetlocks. She paused on the door and for a moment, all thought seemed to just leave her. It was when she caught the scent of Applejack’s mane. Clean, smelling of the fall air, apples, and slightly of sweat. It drove the conflicting emotions and thought right out. One moment she had paused, the next she was pulling back from Applejack, her lips tingling slightly, feeling slightly damp.
Applejack stared at her, dumbstruck, her lips still parted slightly. “Kiss...?” She said numbly, her voice rising slightly to turn it into a question.
Twilight thought about it, trying to work it out. She leaned in close again and smelled Applejack’s mane. She felt the thoughts simply drain out of the back of her head, like pulling the plug on a bathtub. And realized she was nuzzling her friend and--unless she was completely mistaken--being nuzzled back. The realization was so shocking that she pulled back and reality came crashing in. Her entire face turned bright red and she gave a strangled little giggle, then turned tail and galloped down the lane--luckily--toward Ponyville.
~*.*~
Applejack stood stunned on the doorstep for what seemed like hours. Twilight Sparkle--Twilight Sparkle--had just kissed her. And then nuzzled her. And I nuzzled her back! It had felt so right--so natural--at the time that she hadn’t even thought about it. It had felt like...like...It felt like comin’ home. Applejack stared at the road down which Twilight had disappeared. Suddenly, she felt a huge smile stretching its way across her cheeks. A big goofy grin which she couldn’t suppress and had no desire to. She turned around and walked through the house, completely dazed.
It wasn’t too long, though, before the daze of joy faded away and Applejack’s practical nature had reasserted itself. Suddenly, Twilight’s kiss wasn’t so amazing. What’s gonna happen now? It was troubling to say the least. I cain’t deny I got feelin’s for the mare, Applejack thought, but Twilight wasn’t actin’ like Twilight... She ain’t never shown even a hint o’ bein’ interested in me like...that...before! It didn’t mean nothin’. All probably true...And yet...
And yet Applejack couldn’t shake away the surprised joy that kept trying to take her over every time she thought about her lavender friend. For the first time in...how long now? Weeks? Months? Has it been years? Applejack didn’t feel that yawning emptiness at the edges of her mind, waiting to swallow her up. She allowed herself a small smile.
Applejack was outside by now, heading down to the meadow to finish her work with the fence. As she approached the southern pasture, she saw the jumble of gardening tools which Twilight had brought for her gardening lesson. She smiled and laughed to herself. I’ll have to get the cart down here and get these back up to the house, she thought absently as she picked up the hatchet in her mouth, getting ready to begin again on the fencepost. Twilight’ll want these back. As Applejack chopped away at the fencepost, she kept getting curls and bits of sawdust in her mouth. Of course, it could have been because of the huge smile which just would not go away.
~*.*~
Twilight walked and walked and walked. She never really noticed the long trip, her head was full of the smell of Applejack’s mane, the way the kiss had felt, that intimate nuzzle... What was I doing?! She thought, mortified. I just kissed one of my best friends...on the mouth! She tried to feel disgusted. Tried to feel ashamed. She tried to feel detached or clinical or logical or anything really, but she just kept feeling Applejack’s lips on her own.
Twilight walked right into the closed door of the library, head still spinning with Applejack, before she even noticed she was home. Glancing around to make sure no one had noticed her face plant into the door, she hurriedly opened it with a burst of telekinesis and went inside. She could hear Spike’s snores from his room. The main reading room was full of the heavy silence of the books. Usually, this silence calmed her and cleared her mind but right now, it made her feel close and claustrophobic. Quickly, she backed out of the library and back onto the streets of Ponyville.
She brooded as she walked, and it was only when she heard the distinct call of birdsong did she realize that she was no longer in Ponyville, but rather nearing the edge of the Everfree Forest and Fluttershy’s little cottage. Perfect! Twilight thought. Just the pony I need to see right now! If anyone can tell me what’s going on with me, it’s her!
She hurried her pace and quickly found herself at Fluttershy’s cottage. It was just after midday now, though it had felt like she’d both spent much longer than that at Applejack’s and, at the same time, much shorter. The door was slightly open and she could hear the ever-present animals twittering, cawing, cackling, and whuffing from within the cottage. She could even hear Fluttershy’s soft voice, though she could not make out what she was saying.
Twilight knocked on the door and the door opened a little more. She saw Fluttershy in the middle of her afternoon feeding routine, the yellow mare’s long pink mane hiding one eye as she distributed the food among the animals. The graceful pegasus smiled softly when she saw who was at the door and walked over. “Twilight,” she greeted, her voice quiet yet warm, “come in, please! I was just feeding the animals.” As Twilight walked inside, Fluttershy got a closer look at her, “Twilight...you seem...different? I mean, not bad different. Just...not...your usual self? Are you okay?”
Twilight’s answer was a little hesitant, “Well... I feel--physically--fine. I think. Except maybe not? My heart rate is way up and my cheeks hurt. And I can’t feel my hooves sometimes. And sometimes I get these goosebumps all up and down my body. And my lips are tingling.”
Fluttershy looked alarmed and rushed over to Twilight. “Oh my... that doesn’t sound very pleasant at all! Here, take a seat and I’ll make some tea.” She led Twilight inside and sat her down on the huge overstuffed couch that was her favorite piece of furniture. Then she went into the kitchen and Twilight heard her cluttering around getting the tea ready.
Twilight looked around the cottage, already feeling her heartbeat calming down into the normal ranges. Fluttershy had that effect on pretty much every creature she came in contact with. The cottage smelled of honeysuckle and green growing things, even though it was the middle of fall. There was a small fire in her fireplace and Twilight saw, arranged on the hoof-carved mantelpiece a series of framed pictures. Various animals made up the majority of the pictures, but there were several of her closest friends. There was a group picture that Fluttershy had taking the pride of place in the middle of the mantel which Twilight recognized immediately. She had a copy of the same photograph.
They had all been at Sugarcube Corner for one of Pinkie’s parties--celebrating...something, Twilight couldn’t really remember what--when Pinkie had gathered them all up for the group picture and set the camera on a timer. Applejack and her had been scrunched together and the whole group was laughing at something Rainbow Dash had said and Twilight had thrown her foreleg around Applejack’s shoulders, almost breathless with laughter. She smiled in remembered mirth as she studied the picture. But she wasn’t really studying the whole picture.
Fluttershy came back into her den with two teacups balanced on her wings and gracefully set them down on the coffee table, deftly shooing away group of mice engaged what seemed to be a lively game of rugby using a piece of cheese as the ball. Twilight thanked her and took a sip of the tea. Chamomile and honey with just a hint of lemon, her favorite. Twilight felt herself relaxing as the hot drink seemed to spread along her limbs and she settled more comfortably into the couch. Fluttershy smiled gently and said, “Are you feeling a little better now?”
Twilight nodded, “Oh yes, much better. The tea is wonderful!”
“So...what was wrong?” Fluttershy ducked her head shyly, flipping her mane in front of her eye again.
Twilight sighed and glanced up at the group picture again, another small smile tugging at her lips, “Well...” she started and trailed off. She didn’t really know how to begin. Fluttershy waited patiently, not pressing her. Finally, Twilight felt like she could start talking again, “It started...oh, I don’t know.. a couple of weeks ago? I started getting very emotional. I mean, the littlest thing could set me off. Crying, screaming, daydreaming...The response always seemed to vary, but it was all extreme.” Fluttershy nodded encouragingly and Twilight continued, “I kept expecting it to just go away, but it never did. It got worse. I’d get so distracted that I’d get lost in Ponyville! And this happened more than once. And I yelled at Rainbow Dash!”
“Oh my!” Fluttershy put a dainty hoof to her mouth in shock, “I mean, she can be a little...surprising, but...”
Twilight groaned and laid her head back on the couch, “I know I know! I mean, Rainbow was just being Rainbow. But I just blew up at her! I was completely irrational!”
“Are you feeling sick?” Fluttershy brushed her mane back, allowing Twilight to see her eyes which were currently full of worry, “Sometimes, Angel Bunny will get very mean when he’s sick. Once, he even stuck his tongue out at me!”
“Um, wow?” Twilight shook her head, closing her eyes, “But really, that’s not the whole thing. I kind of...well, I might have...” Twilight blew out a long sigh, then said in a big rush, “IkissedApplejackonthemouth.”
Twilight waited for the outburst, the surprised exclamation, the--more realistic because let’s face it this is is Fluttershy after all--muted gasp. But it never came. Instead, she felt a gentle hoof on her own and Fluttershy said, “Well that’s wonderful, Twilight! I’m so happy for you!”
Twilight opened her eyes, bemused. “You’re...wait, really? You’re not, I don’t know, worried that I might have ruined my friendship? Might be losing it completely? Might have completely disgusted Applejack? None of that?”
Fluttershy giggled, “No...I know you, Twilight. And Applejack.”
“Huh? What’s that supposed to mean?”
Fluttershy blushed prettily and hid one eye behind her long pink mane again. Giggling, she said, “Well, let’s just say that the only ones who are surprised about this will be you and Applejack...”
“What?” Twilight was caught completely off guard.
Still giggling, Fluttershy took a sip of her tea. She calmed down and said, “Twilight... All I can really say is this: you are one of my best friends. I have seen you in every situation a pony could possibly expect to see another pony, and many a pony would never expect,” she and Twilight shared a smile as shared memories flashed through their minds. “But of all my friends, you have always needed friendship the most, even though, when you first came to Ponyville, you were convinced you did not need any.”
“I remember that... I remember when we first met.” Twilight glanced back over at the group photo, her mind cast back to when she first arrived at Ponyville. “You were teaching the birds to sing in a choir and I needed your help to have music for the festival. Your replies were too quiet for me to even hear!”
“Oh yes...I remember that too. But throughout all of our adventures, through all the time we spent together doing amazing things, there have been a few times when you’ve...lost control of yourself. Remember when you enchanted that doll? Or when you tried to create an exact copy of Ponyville? Or when--”
Twilight grimaced and cut Fluttershy off, “Okay, okay, I get it! I can get a bit...carried away. But what does that have to do with me ki--uh, me and Applejack?”
“Well,” Fluttershy said, “you need something, somepony to balance you. At first, I thought it was Spike who balanced you out,” she took another sip of tea. “But then, as time went on, I realized it wasn’t Spike. I couldn’t figure out who it was. But I think I have now.”
“Applejack? Applejack balances me out?” Twilight couldn’t really understand the implications of Fluttershy’s words and that bothered her. She flared up in irritation, “Why not you? Why not Rarity or Pinkie or, or Dash?”
Fluttershy blinked at the outburst and hid her face behind her mane again, “I’m sorry, Twilight, I didn’t mean to upset you...”
“No, you didn’t upset me,” Twilight said immediately, “I just overreacted. See what I mean?”
Fluttershy peeked back out from her mane and smiled a tiny smile. “Oh, it’s quite okay, Twilight. I just... Well, I don’t mean to hurt your feelings. It’s just something I always thought... I hope you figure out what your heart needs...and don’t pay any attention to me.”
Twilight shook her head, “No...Fluttershy. I think you’re right. That’s why it struck such a nerve with me. What my heart needs...” Twilight finished her tea and stood up from the couch. “Thanks Fluttershy. I think I need to get home and think things through for a little while.”
~*.*~