This was awkward.
We were sitting by the punch table, mostly because I had insisted I had something – anything – to drink to get through this. He had put on a token protest, to which I had miraculously managed to be polite and told him that no, we weren’t leaving for a more private place, like next to a window.
So far, we had talked about exactly nothing. We were both just… waiting for the other to say something. On one hoof, I really wished to just tell him to buck off and leave me alone, but since he hadn’t done anything truly jerkish yet, the small decent part of me refused to do so.
Unfortunately, that was about the extent of my willingness to do this. I certainly didn’t want to initiate this conversation.
Another cup of liquid went down my throat, the number of which had quietly started to accumulate.
“Not a very dignified attitude, Prince Ventus.” Blueblood chuckled, apparently amused by this.
The narrowing of my eyes told him exactly how long he had to correct himself.
For a split second, he seemed to be the prey to a little panic attack, his eyes darting around the room for a hint, but his stance quickly relaxed. “I’m… I’m… s-s…”
Oh dear Elders… is he actually…? This one was a bit of a shocker.
“Let’s not make this even more awkward, Prince Blueblood,” I said swiftly, unsure of the reason behind this fear taking a hold of my mind. “It’s alright…”
“I am grateful for that…” The stallion breathed a small sigh of relief, glancing at the few ponies around us.
None of them appeared to care, but we both knew a front could be so easy to create. Plus, this was two princes apparently exchanging courtesies and, maybe, just freaking maybe, put aside their differences. What were the odds they weren’t listening?
“Would you care to go straight to business?” I asked, a little angry at the attitude of the ponies close by.
“R-right…” He stumbled on his words, showing so little confidence and arrogance that I was starting to doubt his identity. Surely, this couldn’t be the stallion I had talked to just a few days ago, right? A changeling, maybe? “U-understand that this is not… e-easy for me… to say, but it is about your words to me the other day.”
What else? I fought the urge to roll my eyes.
“Do you want an apology for that?” Don’t expect it to be very sincere though…
“Quite frankly, yes, but I don’t expect you to.” The white stallion scoffed. “It has become quite evident that you are about as self-centered as I am.”
“Am I?” I asked carefully.
“Yes.”
It stung. I hadn’t expected it to, but, somehow, to hear him say it, not as an insult or a thoughtless remark, but with absolute conviction like that…
A phantom pain went through my chest, spreading from horn to hooves quickly, then seemingly fading. It didn’t hurt less – no, not even close –, a strange numbness just dulled it away, pulled the focus of my attention on everything else.
The image of two blue, human, eyes, flashed in my mind. They were staring coldly.
I downed another cup of punch. I levitated another, ready for use.
“You wanted to pick me as a role model, didn’t you?” I said, hoping to divert the topic at least a little. I really didn’t want to delve on the cold, the wind that carries the rot and the plague through the bloody battlefield, hatred, hatred, hatred.
One less cup of punch at the table.
Regardless of my thoughts, he had answered, so quickly it had to have been rehearsed, not to mention the spite and disdain in his tone was much closer to the usual Blueblood.
“Don’t flatter yourself,” he sneered, grimacing, but because he hadn’t meant to say it or because he was disgusted with me, I could not tell.
I was too focused on keeping the conversation going… on making sure my own eyes wouldn’t haunt my mind…
“You certainly seemed… disappointed when you read the newspaper this morning.”
“Princess Sparkle has most obviously developed a certain infatuation with you. As a prince and a member of the royal family, it is only normal I care for her.”
I blinked. And stared. Of all the excuses he could have used to deny it, this certainly wasn’t one I had expected. Worse still, some part of me grew uneasy, as I could tell that however surprising it might be, it nonetheless had some sincerity to it.
However, I was no fool. He had protested way too much. “We both know a pony can have more than one reason for his actions. For example, if you only wanted to apologize, you wouldn’t be insulting me so quickly as well.”
His whole body went backward for a split second, as if my words had punched him in the face. Seemingly, Blueblood thought that way, as he sent an impressive glare in my direction.
“When the pony you were hoping to follow the example of reveals himself as quite the two-timing flankhole, I believe you are allowed some snide remarks for him.”
And I would like to cut off your tongue, Blueblood. Shame we don’t all operate on beliefs, right? “I could make you eat your words in so many different ways…” My voice trailed off, the implied meaning quite a good deal stronger than the rest. “But that might actually prove you right. Rather, I’ll just ask you why not do the sensible thing. Why not Celestia?”
“Is it not OBVIOUS?!” He shouted, looking well and truly aggravated, eyes narrowed at me as if I was some kind of thing not worthy of his presence. That’s the Blueblood we know and hate. “I’ve already based my mannerism on my aunt’s!”
It took me a minute to wrap my head around the idea. Then…
“…Are you blind?!” The volume of my voice rose, but I quickly forced it back into a hushed whisper. “She acts nothing like you! Or rather, you act nothing like her!”
“I never really thought of it that way before… well, before you came along…” The stallion shook his head, a bitter smile finding its way on his face. “I simply acted as a noble should, thinking it was enough to be… to be a little closer to her… But then, you tore me apart.”
Hearing him like that, with this vibrant note of bitterness and sadness piercing through the veil of arrogance, I… I felt a little bad for him.
“L-listen, Blueblood…” My eyes darted off to the checker style floor. “As much as I felt you deserved some sense beaten into your head, it probably was too much.”
“What? ‘Probably’?” He scoffed, an ironic smile finding its way on his lips.
“Has your aunt not tried to talk to you about your attitude before?” My words froze him in place. “On your treatment of others? I cannot imagine she didn’t try at least once. If I had to guess, I would say she tried a few inquisitions about your behavior once or twice, but you brushed off her. Probably not in a direct way, but in your justification.” The jolt he had had when I mentioned going against her died down, but his fur seemed to grow greener with horrorstruck illness. “After that, she might have attempted to make you reflect on it, but seeing as she hadn’t been firm enough, you only pondered it superficially.”
His eyes were unfocused, gazing into empty space. I could tell the memories were flashing in his mind at this point. The way the corner of his mouth twisted downward became the confirmation of my guess.
“Am I wrong?” It was purely rhetorical.
I waited. Blueblood seemed in no hurry to reply, casting his attention downward, onto his own hooves.
“No…” It was nothing more than a weak whisper, but from him, I had expected denial.
I truly believed he would explode in another rant on how he couldn’t have been blind and that I had been right about his behavior. Yet… he hadn’t.
Slowly, the amount of growth I started getting glimpses of softened any reminder of the icy edge I had had in regards to him. “I think I understand… why not her, but not why me. Haven’t you had your fill of these insights I give on your person? I cannot fathom you would still wish to base the evolution of your character on me.” It certainly would be easier to avoid me, Blueblood.
There was this impulse coursing through me though… it asked I give him a choice and a chance, lest I proved myself an even worse stallion than I thought.
His eyes almost lit up with amusement… not quite… “Well, you certainly talk about things as if you were a great pony to imitate. Haven’t you realized that by now?”
It was my turn to pause. Articulating my next thoughts was a bit more difficult.
“I do not believe the strength of the words should rely on their speaker, lest one valuable truth be lost to misconceptions and prejudices, but… I guess… I did… give off that impression, didn’t I?”
He nodded stiffly, as if the admittance cost him greatly. “As much as I hate to admit it, you did not do much to gather disapproval.” But I’ve certainly thought enough to disgust you, Blueblood. Trust me on that.
Blissfully unaware of my train of thoughts, he went on, looking straight ahead of him, anywhere but at me, I suspected. “To be quite honest, I am a little surprised at my aunt’s reaction.”
Between the crowd of ponies and the two of us, there should have been plenty of noises to fill the holes in our conversation, but as soon as he was done speaking, a bubble of silence seemed to have surrounded us.
Busted. I rolled my eyes at the surrounding ponies obviously eavesdropping on us. Still, that changed very little, as I would not have given Blueblood any more fuel to feed his suspicions anyway.
“There’s something more to it, I’m fairly sure,” he remarked, as if it was some great deduction.
Well, bucking good time for you to grow a brain. My mental sighs could surely be heard by somepony by now… Of all the crappy things I had to do today, explaining everything to Blueblood would be really annoying at this point.
Thankfully, two mares in particular moved right in front of us, one showing us her slender, well-toned body, while the other had an impressive sway in her hips.
…For a second, we… kind of lost our focus. Independently of my will, my neck strained to follow their track, this being even harder to ignore as we both recognized the two mares. Even with reddened cheeks and a hint of unbalance in their steps, they walked with complete confidence.
My eyes followed the white unicorn and the cyan pegasus, distantly making out the words of their conversation. A more timid part of me wish I hadn’t, as the subjects made the party’s atmosphere suddenly a lot warmer.
“-And I tell you, I’m way better than you! I’m always the best!”
“Oh please, Rainbow, dear.” Rarity rolled her eyes, oscillating between amusement and annoyance. “You’ve barely dated one or two stallions in your life. You aren’t that experienced.”
“Like you have any room to talk!” She stuttered, grinding her teeth together. “Or was all that talk about a proper lady investing herself in each relationship just empty air?”
Rarity’s expression also turned sour, glaring at her friend, who certainly wasn’t shy about returning the favor. Discreetly, I inched myself away from the impending catfight I smelled in the air.
“Granted,” the unicorn admitted with a death glare. “But I certainly studied the topic in extensive details. I’ll have you know there’s many ways to learn about romance, most of which don’t involve bragging about the Wonderbolts all the time!”
Oh boy… this is going to get ugly soon. Grimacing, I shot a quick glance at our surroundings, hoping to catch sight of their friends and, with a little luck, convince them to intervene before it came to blows. Unfortunately, in the small crowd surrounding us, they were undetectable.
“You did not just go there!” She butted head with Rarity, miraculously not hurting herself against her friend’s horn.
Rarity responded in kind, pushing just as hard. “Oh, I think I did. I’m simply better at this. It comes with having more experience.”
“Oh yeah?! Well, here’s something you never did!” Her wings flared open, a show of bravado.
The rest happened in a multicolored blur.
She tackled Blueblood against the wall, the poor guy barely having the time to do more than let out a yelp before she smashed her lips against his. His eyes widened to the size of plates, as did mine and Rarity and… well, pretty much everypony in sight.
My brain had a short-circuit, my every thoughts coming to a halt abruptly. Heat spreading in my chest and my wings becoming stiff, I could only stare blankly. Holy buck!
That’s when Rarity snarled, after a second of incoherent babbling and high-pitched whining. With a startling speed, she pounced Rainbow Dash, pushing her away from the prince.
Naively, I thought this would be the end of that, but then, the fashionista turned around to the flabbergasted Blueblood and trapped him in yet another kiss. Obviously aroused and far from stoic, the stallion responded in kind, eliciting a muffled moan from his kissing partner.
This time, it was the jawdrops. Everywhere. Heck, Rainbow Dash’s daze seemed to have evaporated at the sight, her own mouth open so wide I could make out the entirety of her dentition without any trouble whatsoever.
“What in tarnation?!” Somepony spoke our collective minds, with a distinctively southern accent.
Turning my head, I got sight of one of the mares I had hoped to see earlier, too little too late, unfortunately. Then again, having reliable Applejack around could not hurt.
“I-I believe…” I started, finding it harder to speak clearly with the alcohol finally having an effect on me, not to mention how dry my mouth felt. “…That your friends were arguing about being the better… kisser. I-if I’m… not… mistaken.”
“Ah sure hope you ain’t!” The earth pony pointed a hoof, her eyes twitching at the now growing indecent show. “Rarity’s tasting his lungs by now.”
“I’m sure they’ll run out of air soon,” some noblepony commented offhandedly.
“Y-yeah, shouldn’t be too long now…” I muttered, looking down. “Unless they voluntarily choose to pass out…”
As it turned out, this wasn’t the logical conclusion of what went on, but it could be inferred from their extremely passionate making out session that stopping was not their choice. However, nopony could be drunk enough to choose to ignore the dramatic entrance punctuated by strikes of lightning and booming thunder.
“GREETINGS, PONIES OF CANTERLOT!” echoed the impossibly loud voice of one unmistakable amongst all.
To my own surprise, my wings clasped harder against my sides and my tail twitched again. Some unknown pressure was shortening my breathing as the Princess of the Night’s figure slowly descended from the dark sky. The closer she was, the worse this sensation got. With my mind feeling hazy from the alcohol, I clearly couldn’t hide my reactions as well as before.
Worse still, green eyes trailed on me, a frown obscuring them slightly. The contact lasted for a brief instant, but left a lasting impression on me. I knew Applejack had noticed.
Don’t think about it…
With a subtle clink of silver against the floor, she landed a few meters away from us, as we stood not too far away from the passage leading to the Royal Gardens.
I just had to insist on being close to the refreshment tables, didn’t I? Oh Elders… I’m somewhat drunk and she might see me. This will blow up in my face. So hard.
One could hear a pin drop in the deafening silence that fell over the ballroom. Nopony dared speak first, not when their princess had arrived in such a grandiose manner. Luna herself had quietly started to move forward, but stopped when she heard a familiar voice.
“Princess Luna!” Twilight shouted almost excitedly, running through the crowd, with a few extremely soft ‘sorry’ seemingly punctuating her progression.
Well, it wasn’t hard to guess who was trailing behind the young alicorn.
“Twilight Sparkle!” The dark alicorn replied, a pleasant smile appearing on her face. “Or rather, Princess Sparkle. It would be unbecoming of me not to recognize your title, would it not?”
“There is no need for that, Princess Luna.” Twilight dismissed it with a casual wave.
“Yet you insist on using mine.” She teased her, nudging her with a hoof. “My, this is quite unfair. I almost feel slighted.”
The good-naturedness of their exchange seem to spread to the rest of the guests. Quite a few chuckled at their princesses little banter. For my part, I fought a nervous laugh that would have given me away on a good day…
“So many ponies have been gathered so quickly. We must praise the pony responsible for this.”
Unbeknownst to Luna, Fluttershy had shrunk on herself, a luminescent blush spreading across her cheeks. She whispered something, most likely a ‘thank you’, but nopony could have possibly heard her.
Instead, the dark alicorn had diverted her gaze to the ponies assembled, which, unfortunately, also included me. The thought to disappear in a gust of wind only hit me after we had made eye contact, by which point it was too late.
Stupid punch…
“Hello Prince Ventus.” Her tone was more formal than anything else she had used so far.
Crystal clear… With that kind of reaction, absolute respect seemed like the only appropriate response. So, my right knee folded under me, sending the world spinning.
“Princess Luna,” I said, gaze firmly set toward the ground as I desperately tried not to let the drunken dizziness trip me.
However, even like that, I could feel the weight of her stare on my back. Luckily, it didn’t last long. She skimmed over my kneeling body, barely giving me any attention before looking to the next pony. Was it wrong that all I could feel was vibrant relief?
Nonetheless, the Princess of the Night went on with the greetings, as many ponies, most of them in reality wanted a few seconds to exchange at least names with one of their rulers. Most imitated my bow, with polite greetings, but I was savagely thrilled to hear Blueblood receive a very stiff reply too.
It was only when this little commotion had died down that Twilight got the chance to speak again.
“We’re glad you could come to the party, Princess.”
“W-we hope it is to your liking,” Fluttershy added, a bold move for the timid mare.
Twilight seemed to share my shock, glancing with widening eyes at her friend before composing herself. “We weren’t sure if you could make it, as we know your duties are crucial, but Pinkie really wanted you to share some quality time with us.”
“Unfortunately, it is impossible for us to stay!” She dramatically rose her hoof skyward, making more than a few ponies glance up.
Those that didn’t gasp in shock, that is.
With an air of royalty, she ignored both group and puffed her chest.
“Not so long ago,” her voice carried through the air with ease, spread to the entirety of the room. Her tone was that of a story-teller and the effect was to immediately capture each and every pony’s attention. “Yes, not so long ago, W-… I visited Ponyville on Nightmare Night!”
At my side, I heard a grumble, coming from a certain cyan pegasus.
“It was the first true contact I would have with my citizens on a casual occasion. It was also the first celebration I had ever heard revolving around my own art as a princess.”
I shared a pained wince with Applejack, as we both remembered the events of that particular Nightmare Night and how close to a disaster it had been.
“Shock was mine when I realized the object of celebration itself was toward my darker side, reduced to a foal’s tale. At first, I was offended, unable to understand why love was not given to me rather than a parody.”
A noticeable unease seemed to hit ponies in wave. Ashamed glances were exchanged, even from those that could not reasonably be expected to have participated in the events of that night.
“Princess…” Twilight whispered sadly.
“But I digress!” Luna said much more strongly. “Nightmare Night was just a moment for ponies to gather and share innocent ‘fun’ together. It was foolishness on my part before not to see it; after a thousand years, my nights have finally become an occasion of celebration! Nothing could make me happier than for my subjects to enjoy them more and though my visit must remain short, do not let my absence stop you from enjoying a most enjoyable party.”
Just like that, the heavy, saddened atmosphere created by her retelling had been lifted, leaving only a growing affection for the lunar alicorn. She stood at the center of the attention, yet her gaze was clearly toward her subjects, decorated with a beautiful smile.
“That you wished to share them with me only makes my heart soar with joy. Thank you, thank you all, my little ponies.” With a mighty flap of her wings, she was gone, already disappearing into the darkness outside. “May the night be good to you all!”
For a moment, the vast majority of the nobles assembled seemed to share my feeling, namely, lots of confusion.
Things had happened quickly, perhaps a little too quickly. She’s got her duties to fulfill, right? Move the moon around… and protect her citizens from their nightmares…
At the back of my mind, a wall cracked, letting filter a fragment of my anxieties. Nightmares were of course a natural occurrence and nothing to be concerned with… in the human world that is. Here, in Equestria, there were magical sources of influence that could affect a pony’s dreams.
The magic of fear, to name the most obvious. Black, sickening dark magic, with an aura that oozed and slithered through shadows and unseen places.
And with that moment of realization came more terror.
It’s coming. Chaos is coming. My blood was frozen in my veins. As an alicorn, such a concept was monstrously alien to me. It was repulsive for me to imagine a world flooded with chaos and disorder. It made me panic to imagine Calx being forced to live in such a terrible place.
Brotherly instincts taking over, I turned around, toward the corner I last remembered the foals to have been playing in. In lieu of them though, the first thing that I managed to see was another alicorn, Twilight. She was looking straight at me.
Our gazes met. Hers was unsteady, full of hesitations and questions, of doubts and uncertainties. The emotions already running wild in my mind truly started to dictate my every thought as I tried to imagine what the light in her purple eyes meant.
It was a miracle I didn’t shout when she reduced the distance between us to a leg’s length.
“C-can we speak?”
Fighting a bout of nausea, either fear or alcohol induced, I gave a simple nod and followed her outside when she turned around silently.
--
As expected, outside of the ballroom, the castle’s atmosphere seemed definitely subdued, colder and far less welcoming. Twilight’s wings closed against her body, confirming the fleeting thoughts I had about how cold she must be.
“Are you alright?” I asked, making a gesture to move closer.
To my surprise, she stepped forward, into the space I had left empty. Even worse, her expression held a bit of smugness at seeing me dumbstruck so. “Don’t worry, Ventus. You clearly had a lot more punch than I did.”
The playfulness got to me, even if I was very close to throwing up from the strain on my nerves alone. Casual as it was, I could not forget how important this meeting with her was. “You, on the other hoof, seem to be a great deal more lucid than most of the remaining ponies in this party.”
“I generally don’t drink much at this kind of events.” She shrugged. “On a few special occasions, I do, but other than that…”
Well, that’s a lot more reasonable than me. Heck, I’m having a little trouble standing straight at the moment.
“T-Twilight,” I stumbled on my words, more nervous than I wanted to admit. “Before anything else, I must ask.”
“Yes?”
“Have you found anything about the spell? Anything at all?”
It was impossible to ignore the way her breath hitched and her eyes wavered with the beginning of new tears. For a moment, her strength appeared to have left her. Her shoulders slumped ever so slightly and she quickly averted her gaze.
My thought process so impaired by the night’s previous events, it came up with a blank as to the reason of her distress.
Coward, my own voice echoed in my mind.
“Twilight…” I whispered, lifting her chin with my hoof. Even then, she would not look back. “You must tell me. It is not the first time my words seem to hurt you. What is the reason behind this?”
Other words itched at the hedge of my lips, confirmation of her feelings for me, but I dare not. I dare not speak for fear I was right. I did so, with a cold sensation running down my spine at the idea she might actually…
As if I didn’t know already. I am such a bucking coward… I could see her hurt and it pulled at my heartstrings. Still, I dared not broach the subject. If she confirmed it… If she confirmed that she… that she loved me…
I…
I wouldn’t know what to tell her! I didn’t know if I felt something like that toward her!
“It… Ventus, I…” The words begged to leave her lips, but they wouldn’t. Nothing, not even air, would leave her mouth. She seemed so torn it was almost comical, if one had a twisted sense of humor.
But as I stared at her lips, a part of me wondered what they felt like… what they tasted like…
The thought pierced through my drunken stupor.
Everything about that lavender mare seemed painfully omnipresent in my mind now. So many sensations, so many details about her, would just assault my senses and refuse to be ignored. It made the cool night warm.
“I did find out something.” Twilight finally said, with a mechanical tone that almost saddened me. “Something out of place.”
Chastising myself for my distraction, I turned my entire focus entirely on her words.
“When the others came to pick me up this morning, they asked me what my researches were about.”
My heart missed a beat with a sudden burst of fear. This had to be kept a secret!
“D-did you…?” I whispered.
She shook her head. “No. But while I didn’t mention what they were, I did say I needed time to figure out some things…”
All I could do was nod, hoping it would encourage her to elaborate further.
“The spell’s matrices… the source of its power… it is outside of our world.”
It was like being hit by lightning. A painful shock seemed to expand into every nerve of my body. Miraculously, I still had the use of my tongue. “W-who? Who powers that spell?”
Tell me who is responsible for this.
“I couldn’t trace that far back!” She hung her head in shame. “It had already decayed too much.”
My anger popped like a bubble. It literally broke down into fine pieces, grinded powder and blown away by the wind. It was replaced by a growing, numbing despair.
“Is it… t-t-too… late?”
“I’m not sure.” She looked at me, frowning deeper than before, but with the shame of her failure piercing through her voice, it only made her pitiful… “I… I think that… white line… it wasn’t a piece of our reality… ”
I sucked in a sharp breath. It could only be…
“The spell itself…” She continued. “…Shattered a barrier and sucked everything in until the hole was sealed with enough… reality… I could not probe that far ahead through space, but… but I did get the feeling that it needed barely more than one living entity.”
Surprisingly, a light was made in my mind. I knew what that piece of reality had had to be.
“The… the runes!” I spoke, voice shaking with excitement. “After Calx disappeared, I discovered the spell he utilized, but the runes were long gone by that time!”
“W-wait! That would mean you are literally covered in the spell itself! Not just its effect or its source of power, but the actual structure of the spell!”
As Sam, I would have been lost right away. As Ventus, the magical theories were engraved in my brain. At least the most prominent ones were.
“Y-you could study and reverse-engineer it!” I think my heart just about exploded with joy.
Her voice became excessively quiet. “No…”
“W-what?!” My eyes were like saucers. “W-what are you talking about?!”
“The degradation is too far ahead for me to recreate the spell. We’d have better luck tracking down the source of the magic and work from there… It… it’s a big gamble, but there’s nothing else we can do…”
I felt lightheaded. My ears could barely pick up sounds anymore.
“T-there’s something else I had to tell you.”
Naively, I had figured out that there was a limit to the amount of sheer terror one could feel from words alone, but it kept getting worse!
“I’m afraid I cannot keep this a secret, Ventus. This is so… this is beyond what one pony should have to shoulder. I want to go speak to the Princess about this.”
My head was spinning.
N-no… no… if they get to hear about the spell… about its consequences... What will they do?! They’ll find out the anomalies! Will they realize what I’ve done? W-what Tom and I are?! T-then, then there will be no time! It will be too late! They’ll never accept that!
“I…” Her voice brought me out of my panicking daze. “My friends and I… we’ll be leaving for Ponyville soon. We already spent a lot here…”
At this point, I lost it. Honest to Elders LOST it. My mind was already nothing but a maelstrom of confused emotions misted by the fog of alcohol and tampered by my fear. There had to be something…
Without thinking, I threw myself forward, doing the first thing that came to mind, using the only halfway rational idea I had.
Completely shocked by my sudden reaction, Twilight didn’t have the time to bat away my hoof when it rested on the back of her neck. She didn’t get the chance to push me away before I crashed my lips against hers.
My fear was pushing me too much. I was too forceful. My body was pressed too strongly against hers. The kiss was bestial, calling forth primal instincts buried beneath too many masks. It stripped away my inhibitions for a split second and I pushed forward, finding myself wanting this, craving for more.
She was so timid, so inexperienced… It made a possessive side of me wish for her to be mine and mine alone. Almost hungrily, I deepened the kiss, earning a whimpering moan from her.
Warm. It was all I could think of. This contact with her made fire blaze inside my heart and spread to the rest of my body. I could not wish for this to stop. Just then, just as things wouldn’t get more confusing, she started kissing back.
I… I couldn’t think… I just wanted… more… more! She was mine and I wanted more!
But she broke it. All too quickly, hooves painfully shoved into my chest pushed me back.
Breathless, she stared at me, eyes so wide I felt they might pop out of her skull. If she was anything like me, then her own heartbeat would be maddeningly loud, pulsing against the side of her vision, spreading an unbearable heat through her whole body.
The poor mare stayed completely silent, unable to process what had happened, whether it be her own sentiment in regards to the kiss or simply the fact that I had done so.
It was my only chance, maybe my last.
“Y-you can’t leave…” I said in a lusty, desperate whisper, making her shiver. The emotion behind it… I could not actually tell if it was real or not. My mind was hazy from the alcohol and actual desire. Her scent flew right through my nostrils as I breathed in, inches away from her again. “Celestia requested that Tom and I stay in the castle for the time being. We will not be able to follow you, should you return…”
I saw her still, a slight twitch in her tail notwithstanding. She listened with a mute horror, strangely combined with some form of… relief?
“A-ask her… to stay…” The words were too difficult to pronounce. My brain refused to work properly, as if… manipulating her… as if that was a line I hesitated to cross. “Convince her that…. That you would like to spend a bit more time with your family here in Canterlot… or that you’d like to study a bit more before going back… a-anything… so we’re not separated.” I can’t afford to lose the one pony willing to do this secretly.
Especially not with the threat looming over the horizon.
Just say you’ll stay. I need somepony’s help, Twilight… your help…
You. I need you.
But Twilight did not answer. She kept looking at me, unable to process anything, or hiding it so well I could not see it. Her stance was completely stiff, as if she dared not move and trigger another reaction from me, whatever it might turn out to be. She… stayed silent.
And every passing second made my apprehensions grow.
I nearly jolted in shock when she finally spoke.
“W-w-we should go back to the party,” she said, eyes wide and cheeks colored. “I think I just heard Pinkie break the party canon.”
I could not hide it when my heart sunk in my chest. A part of it felt as if it had been torn off.
“I… I think I will do just that…” I walked past her, doing my best not to look at her.
In shame. In sadness.
I had no idea what I was doing anymore.