A diagram of the riddle's solution
The six were silent for almost a full minute. How could anypony possibly respond to… that? Rarity, Pinkie, Applejack and Fluttershy looked at each other and then at the beast in confusion. They had no idea who this monster was, and as the seconds passed, they had no idea why he had yet to gobble them up.
Twilight and Rainbow Dash, however, knowingly looked at each other with wide eyes. Ahuizotl was the name of the main villain in the Daring Do series of books that both of them enjoyed reading. This beast matched his description to a T.
Rainbow Dash rose into the air to meet Ahuizotl at eye level. She extended a hoof towards him.
“Ahuizotl, sir, it’s an honor to meet you! Next to the Wonderbolts and Daring Do herself, you are one of the celebrities I would most like to meet! We’re incredibly sorry that we’ve stumbled upon your piece of real estate here. We would certainly cross further upstream if that pleases you. But, uh, before we go… could I get your autograph?”
Ahuizotl rolled his eyes and let loose a small sigh from his massive nostrils, and the air current from this was enough to send Rainbow Dash careening back towards earth.
“AAAAAAHHH!” Dash screamed as she fell towards the ground, landing in some bushes. She was a bit scratched up but otherwise fine.
The beast lifted up his right hand and wiped his face. He let out another sigh.
He bellowed, “I am NOT the Ahuizotl from your Daring Do novels. Those works of FICTION have been misrepresenting me and patronizing me for far too long. I am the real Ahuizotl: ruler of the Everfree Forest, guardian of this river! Ponies had better start taking me seriously; I am not some campy young-adult action-adventure villain. I am a REAL force to be reckoned with! I cannot tell you how many travelers I have drowned for having the nerve to cross this river without MY permission, and how many I have drowned for having the absolute gall to ask for autographs!”
He took a few deep breaths and paused from his rant. Steam flowed from his nostrils as he heavily panted. Fluttershy took this opportunity to interrupt his stride, fluttering up to speak with him.
“So, uh, Mr. Ahuizotl, I understand you’re miffed, but we really need to cross this river. There's an artifact that we REALLY need to find. Is there any way you could pleeeeease let us cross? We’ll do whatever you want!” She batted her eyelashes and smiled as wide as she could.
“Uhhhh…. Well… um…” Ahuizotl stammered. In addition to Fluttershy’s uncanny ability to make creatures bend to her will by force through her stare ability, she also had the charm to convince all but the most dreadful of monsters to comply with her voluntarily.
Ahuizotl scratched his head. He began again, “Perhaps we got off on the wrong hoof. Let me re-introduce myself. My name is Ahuizotl. I am the king of the Everfree Forest! My job is to ensure that no one crosses this river without passing my test. But I am a fair judge. My standard is strict, but if you are lucky, you may meet it.
“Now, let’s see here. Two unicorns, two pegasi, and two earth ponies. A perfect ratio of magic, flight, and physical strength! I have been waiting for somepony to solve this particular riddle for a long time,” he said, trilling the ‘r’ in ‘riddle.’
He reached with his long prehensile tail into the trees along the river embankment and pulled out a long, slender wooden kayak with two seats. He set it down on the ground in front of the ponies.
“Now, if you can solve my riddle, then I will allow you to cross the Everfree River. But if you fail, then the current will take you over the falls, and I shall add your skulls to the heap of skulls that my throne sits atop! Here is my riddle:
“To pass my test, all six must cross
Or else your quest is at a loss.
I present you with this small canoe,
But it has only room for two.
Once a pony’s hooves have left this shore,
She may not return any more.
Moving north on the river is not allowed.
You may only progress towards the south.
Though you shall not use a teleport,
Levitation and flight are both fair sport.
Now see if you can find a way
as a team to reach the southern bank.”
"Wait a minute," Twilight Sparkle asked, "Why can't I use a teleport?"
"There's no fun in that," Ahuizotl responded. He leaped off of his hind legs into the air and landed hundreds of feet away, on the far side of the river. The earth rumbled as the gargantuan beast hit the ground.
He sat waiting, a wide grin on his face, twiddling his fingers together. It was obvious by the twinkle in his eyes that he fully anticipated them to fail.
Pinkie, Applejack, Rarity and Fluttershy, upon watching the huge monster, turned their gaze towards Rainbow Dash.
It was Applejack who finally asked, “Rainbow Dash, who in the hay was HE, and how’d you know him?”
Dash, after getting up from her fall, candidly replied, “Oh, he’s Ahuizotl. He’s the main villain in the Daring Do novels. Twilight and I are huge fans.”
“I don’t understand. If he is a fictional character, how is he here in the Everfree Forest?” Rarity asked, looking at Rainbow puzzlingly.
Twilight interjected, “Well, if I recall correctly, the author of the series relied on old legends and myths for story ideas. Perhaps the myth of Ahuizotl was one legend which just so happened to be true.”
Rainbow Dash added, “Yeah. That Ahuizotl is a trickster, a lot like Discord, but his only powers are his intellect and his enormous size. He can also stop ponies from using magic, apparently, but he never does that in the books. He also deals in logic more than chaos. His riddles and puzzles usually have solutions, even though they’re always hare-brained. With our smarts and my agility, we can tackle this river crossing thing no problem!”
“Er, I don’t know about that.” Applejack walked over to the two-seater kayak and kicked it with her hind leg. The heavy two-seater barely gave an inch. Applejack gazed at the rushing currents of the river.
“Um, y’all. This canoe is so heavy that it’s gonna take a LOT of muscle-power just to paddle across the river. What with this current, I’m not sure even two of the fastest rowers in Equestria could make it across the river in time to not get carried over the falls!”
She removed the paddles from inside of the boat. They were about three feet in length.
“These are also some dinky paddles. Kinda wish he had given us somethin’ a bit longer to work with. It’s gonna be hard sailin’ getting across this river. Heck, I doubt you could move a canoe half this size with these darn things!” Applejack tossed the paddles to the side.
“Okay, well then Dashie, why don’t you just fly us all over?” Pinkie asked, “You could just take us one at a time, and then the joke will be on him! We can screw his canoe! He never said in his riddle that we had to use it.”
“I wouldn’t advise that at all,” Twilight cautioned. “If you’ll remember, he said that after any one of us has left this bank, we can’t come back. He also said we couldn’t travel north on the river. I’d imagine he would enforce that rule as strictly as he stopped me from teleporting earlier. So in order to be in compliance, Dash would have to carry four of us at once, and that’s assuming Fluttershy can even carry one of us.”
“Yeah. I could definitely carry Twilight and probably Rarity, but three ponies at once is kind of pushing it.”
“Oh, um, I wouldn’t be able to carry anypony at all. Sorry.” Fluttershy blushed and shrunk back.
“Fluttershy, darling, don’t be so self-deprecating. We shall find a way to get across this river well enough!” Rarity encouraged.
Applejack formulated a plan, “Yeah. Why, Pinkie and I could get in that canoe and paddle across with all of our best effort, Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash can fly across, and Twilight and Rarity can… uh…”
“That’s the problem,” Twilight finished Applejack’s thought, “I can’t teleport, and this boat is only a two-seater. There's not room for Rarity and I to pile in, since it’s closed at the top except for the seats, which would technically make it a kayak, not a canoe."
"He probably just said 'canoe' so it would rhyme," Pinkie said.
“What about that flight spell you used to get me into Cloudsdale? You know, when you gave me those fabulous wings! Can you do that again?” Rarity pondered.
Twilight answered, “That would be a viable option, except that spell was a difficult incantation, and without the book with me I can’t remember the complex magic required. Even if I could, the spell is so difficult that I couldn’t cast it on both of us. That would still leave one pony behind.”
Applejack responded, “Well, maybe not. That Owie-zotle character said we could use both flyin’ and levitatin’. Twilight, maybe you could just levitate me, Pinkie and Rarity one at a time over the river? Then Rainbow Dash could carry you across, and Fluttershy could just fly herself.”
“That might be feasible if you were lighter, or if the river was less distance across. But this river is at least a hundred yards wide, and telekinetic magic weakens as distance increases. I could maybe levitate a small kitten across the river, for instance, but even that would be pushing it.”
“But that doesn’t make any sense,” Pinkie said, “Magic is magic, and you’re the best there is!”
Twilight, astounded that Pinkie was eager to learn about the very laws of physics that she so frequently defied, explained,
“Well, Pinkie, it’s because of leverage. Imagine that telekinetic magic is like an extendable, invisible appendage with a hand attached at the end. Sort of like Ahuizotl’s tail, actually. The magical ‘hand’ could theoretically be extended for an infinite length, but for whatever object you are working with, it will eventually lose strength and fail to work due to leverage. Have you ever used a crowbar? You apply a smaller amount of force at one end, but the power of leverage works for you so you can lift a heavier weight. So for that reason, levitating any object gets harder as the distance increases.”
Pinkie blinked three times and exclaimed, “Ohhhh! That makes sense! So that’s the same reason that the paddles won’t be as useful, but instead of being too long, they’re too short!”
“Exactly, Pinkie. Ahuizotl knew this, and he gave us shorter paddles probably to make our crossing even more challenging. We have to overcome a leverage disadvantage.”
Applejack’s eyes lit up at this statement, “Hey Twilight. You just gave me an idea, and I think it might be crazy enough to work.”
*****
Upon the north shore of the river, Twilight sat down in the sand. She was busy performing some calculations on a piece of parchment. Her quill scribbled furiously at the paper.
“Okay gang, I think this is an entirely possible way to cross,” Twilight said, setting down her parchment and quill. “But according to my calculations, it will be a very close call. If we all give our best efforts, the six of us will probably end up on the other side of the bank mere seconds away from careening off the waterfall.”
“We… can… DO IT!” Fluttershy bellowed, using an encouragement tactic that Iron Will had taught her.
“I’m certainly ready. Though I really don’t understand why my talents are being wasted on sheer muscle in this venture,” Rarity complained.
“Well, if it makes you feel any better, why dontcha pretty up the canoe or somethin’? That outta really help,” Applejack quipped, a smirk spreading across her face.
Rarity scowled at Applejack, “Why, the nerve! Just because Ahuizotl put us into a situation where your brawn is required does NOT mean that you are the superior pony! If I had half a mind…”
Pinkie jumped in-between the two ponies, “Oh Rarity, it’s OK. I mean, I didn’t get to throw a party, so in terms of not using our special talents, we’re in the same boat! Get it?” She chuckled.
“Girls!” Twilight interrupted. “Let’s get a move on. The wind is favorable to us right now.”
“Aye aye, captain!” Rainbow Dash offered up a salute and flew to the rear of the kayak, where she and Fluttershy pushed the heavy craft, sliding it across the sand towards the water. As they slowly skidded the craft along the sand, Rarity and Twilight jumped their seats and began to charge up their horns. Pinkie and Applejack grabbed the paddles in their mouths and walked alongside the kayak on the side away from the waterfall.
As the tip of the kayak entered the water, Ahuizotl leaned forward and sat on his haunches. His gaze intently fixed on the six ponies who had finally begun their attempt of his riddle.
“Ready on your end?” Twilight asked.
“All set,” Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash said in unison.
Rainbow Dash flew two feet out over the water and gave the instruction, “Okay. Fluttershy. One, two, three...”
With a giant heave, Fluttershy pushed the craft fully into the water, Rainbow helping by pulling it forward. As the kayak made a splash in the river, it began to drift a few feet per second towards the falls. But the two pegasi quickly flew to the side of the kayak facing the waterfall, put their heads and front hooves against the side of the kayak and began rapidly flapping their wings, pushing back against the powerful force of the current. The craft continued to inch closer east to the waterfall, but the efforts of Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash kept this deadly progression at a slower pace.
Rarity and Twilight cast their spells, slowly levitating Pinkie and Applejack into the air above and to the side of the craft. Twilight’s purple glow surrounded heavy-set Applejack while Rarity’s cyan glow surrounded the lighter-weight Pinkie Pie.
“Wheee!” Pinkie exclaimed as she floated into the air. Twilight and Rarity focused intently as they suspended the two earth ponies above the water, about four feet away from themselves on the side of the kayak opposite of Rainbow and Fluttershy.
One lapse of concentration on the unicorns’ part and the earth ponies would fall into the river below, and the current would carry them towards the falls.
Once they were in place on the side of the kayak, Applejack and Pinkie Pie began rowing. Thanks to the transitive force property of levitation magic, this rowing force was transferred to the kayak as if Pinkie Pie and Applejack were sitting in the seats and rowing using paddles six feet in length instead of floating above the water using paddles of two feet in length.
A diagram of the riddle's solution
The kayak inched across the river with these magically-enhanced efforts. Its wooden bow pushed on through the tumultuous currents quite faster than it would have otherwise, but to the six ponies whose lives were in danger it seemed to be a snail’s pace.
Pinkie and Applejack continued rowing for the next minute and soon the kayak was about two-fifths of the way across the river.
“Hah! This riddle is a cakewalk!” Rainbow Dash yelled, wings flapping vigorously. “The six of us can go anywhere, anytime!”
“Don’t speak too soon, Dashie,” Fluttershy strained to help the kayak stay in place as it nevertheless inched closer to the falls. Her brow was covered in sweat; she was not used to such physical exertion.
Rarity too, was straining under the requirements of casting the levitation spell. She grimaced and sparks began to fly from her horn, a sign that her magic was requiring more effort. Pinkie, seeing this, sang a short shanty of encouragement,
“Row, row, row your boat across the Everfree
Rarity, Rarity, Rarity, Rarity, don’t let go of me!”
Rarity giggled, the song easing her tension somewhat. Twilight, horn glowing bright with the effort of keeping Applejack aloft, briefly glanced behind herself to see the waterfall and eyeballed the distance.
It was not good. At this rate they would careen over the falls before reaching the south shore!
“Girls, let’s step it up! Fluttershy and RD, push harder against those currents! AJ and Pinkie, keep rowing, but faster!”
They all redoubled their efforts. However, Rarity was clearly struggling under the strain of Pinkie’s weight. Suddenly, the cyan glow left Pinkie and she fell into the river below.
“AAAAAAH!” Hundreds of droplets of water misted into the air as Pinkie hit the river with a splash. She struggled against the currents as she was carried under the kayak towards the falls.
“Pinkie Pie!” Rainbow Dash yelled, dashing several feet behind her and scooping Pinkie up from the water. As she left the side of the kayak to rescue her friend, the kayak tilted towards the waterfall. Fluttershy quickly repositioned herself in the middle of the kayak's side. It now was pointed towards the south bank once again, but was moving towards the edge of the falls at three times its previous speed!
Rainbow Dash soared back towards the kayak, carrying Pinkie in her hooves. Rarity levitated Pinkie back towards her rowing position as Dash returned to the side of the boat. Dazed but not deterred, Pinkie re-equipped her oar and continued rowing at a breakneck speed.
“So dreadfully sorry, Pinkie!” Rarity yelled out.
“Don’t worry about apologies, just don’t let her fall again!” Twilight yelled out. She and Applejack were holding out reasonably well. Applejack, her hat soaked in sweat and mist, looked to her left and let out a warning.
“Y’all, we’re about to fall over!” She yelled. Indeed, the craft was a mere forty feet away from careening over the edge of the falls.
The two earth ponies and two unicorns glanced in horror at the impending drop. Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash were too busy pushing back against the relentless currents to look behind them. At this rate, the currents would carry them over the falls in less than a minute, and they still had hundreds of feet to cross!
“Come on girls, we have to do this!” Twilight yelled. She placed her own hooves into the water and began frantically pushing water out of the way in a desperate effort to add to the craft’s forward momentum. Veins had appeared in Rarity’s forehead and her horn was glowing with the intensity of a nova. Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy began flapping their wings like hummingbirds. Pinkie and Applejack displaced three foot-tall waves of water way with their aggressive paddling.
Yet despite this, the craft tilted upwards as it capsized over the waterfall. The four wingless ponies fell towards the ground below.