“Lauren! Lauren! Come on, Lauren, wake up!” someone yelled as I woke up with one of those weird human creatures touching me.
Oh Celestia, please tell me I’m dreaming. I opened my eyes and confirmed that I was, in fact, not dreaming. “Stop.”
“Oh thank god you’re awake,” the human Bonnie exclaimed.
“Thank god? What does that mean? Where am I? What am I? How did I get here? What’s going on?”
“Whoa, Lauren, slow down. You just fainted for the second time today, so take it a little slower. You don’t want to go fainting again, now do you?” This time it was the one who said her name was Teresa talking.
“Okay listen, I don’t know what’s going on here. I don’t know who either of you two are. I don’t know how I got here, but what I do know is that my name isn’t Lauren, it’s Lyra, and I am not a… a human, I’m a pony.”
“Oooookay… Somebody hit their head a little hard today,” Teresa said. She turned to look at Bonnie “She can sleep here tonight if you don’t want her walking back to your place. I have an extra guest room.”
“Thank you, I think that might be for the best,” Bonnie replied.
“Fine, whatever, I’ll stay here for the night, but I know who I am. Just give me my lyre and let me let me think about all this in peace.”
“Lauren… You don’t own a lyre. If you want, I can get your guitar from the apartment.”
“Okay. Nope. Nope. Nope. Nope. It’s a dream. I’m dreaming. Hahaha, me, not owning a lyre. That’s a good one brain. Now it’s time to wake up, brain. Fun’s over, wakey, wakey. I know, I’ll just close my eyes, and when I open them again, I’ll be back in Ponyville.” I closed my eyes and waited.
…
…
…
…
“Lauren? Are yo–”
“Shhhh!”
Please work. Oh Celestia, please tell me I’m dreaming. I opened my eyes slowly, and of course I was still in the human world. “Damn it! Fine whatever, bring me this guitar thing. I’ll be in the guest room contemplating what is going on.” I stormed off up the stairs, stumbling every few steps due to my new walking conditions. I have seen these humans walk for so long I had a basic idea of how they did it but doing it for myself was odd.
“Wait! I didn’t even tell you what room it was!” Teresa yelled up the stairs.
“Well then what are you waiting for?”
“Down the left hall, third door on the left!”
I finally got to the room and lay on the bed. Well, let’s see if I can still do some magic. I focused my thoughts on levitating a book that was on the desk. Even though I didn’t have a horn anymore, I tried focusing energy to the same part of my head where it would have been. Nothing, that’s what I thought. If I only had my horn still… hmmm… Well these could be close enough. This time, I tried focusing energy to my fingers. And still nothing. Ah damn! How am I going to get back now?
“Ahem.” Teresa was standing in the doorway. “What are you doing?”
“I was seeing if I could still use magic. Why does it matter to you?”
“Well... alright then. So anyways, I was just worried about you. It’s not every day somebody passes out twice in your home then thinks they are something else. Also, it looked like you were having trouble walking. I wanted make sure you were okay.”
“Well other than waking up in a different body, in a different world I’d say I’m doing fine.”
“So you really think you’re a—what did you say? A pony?”
“Yes.”
“But you can speak perfect English, minus some words you don’t seem to know. That doesn’t strike you as odd?”
“English? I’m speaking Equestrian, so are you.”
“Okay well, the ponies I know of don’t speak or use magic.”
“More specifically, I am a unicorn. Earth ponies and pegasi can’t use magic.”
“Unicorns and pegasi are myths.”
“Wonderful, so there is no magic at all in this world?”
“There are people who do magic but nothing like magic from myths. Everything they do is smoke and mirrors.”
“Great, this day just keeps getting better and better.”
“Listen, Bonnie would kill me if she heard me saying this, but she’s not here. I don’t know what is going on exactly. If I had to make a realistic guess, I would say that you hit your head when that flash happened, and now you're crazy. But that doesn’t seem to fit right now. You were telling me about these visions you have of another world full of horses and apparently unicorns and pegasi too. What I think happened is whatever that flash was, whatever it did, swapped you, a unicorn named Lyra, with our human named Lauren. Now, we humans don’t do magic so I can only assume it was something you did over there.”
“So… you believe me?” I asked hesitantly.
“Believe you might be pushing it, but I'm willing to entertain the idea at least.”
I had no idea what she was talking about. I didn’t want to come here, and I certainly didn’t want to be a human. “I didn’t do anyth—oh, shit.Maybe I did. It was when I was trying you get that stupid dome off my head.”
“You had a dome on your head?” Teresa arched an eyebrow.
“It was your idea—well, I guess kind of like the you from over there, Twilight’s idea. She put a dome on my head to measure my magical energy levels to see if they were normal. I got frustrated and tried taking it off, but the dome is designed to dampen your magic to read it better. I guess I tried putting too much magic into it.”
“Well there you go. Why were you seeing this ‘Twilight’ anyway?”
“I assume for the same reason Lauren was seeing you. The psychologist recommended me to her.”
“So you've had visions of our world then, huh?”
“Yeah.”
“Do you think you are going to be able to get back to your world?”
Teresa caught me off guard with that question. “Good question, but what about Lauren? Maybe she will be able to use my magic and reverse what I did! Maybe...”
We both just stared at each other thinking about what was said. It wasn’t until we heard another voice that we both broke out of our stare. “Sis, dinner is ready!” someone yelled from downstairs.
“Who was that?” I asked.
“My brother Sam. He made dinner for the four of us,” Teresa replied.
“So, he isn’t a baby dragon then, I assume?”
“Baby dragon. Okay, now I know you’re crazy.”
“No, Twilight has a baby dragon who helps her around the library.”
“Well... I uhh... a baby dragon librarian. How about we just go eat for now?”
I laughed. “Sounds good, what’d he make?”
“Lasagna,” Teresa said while walking down the stairs, me following. I was getting a little better at this whole walking on two legs thing.
“Never heard of it. Is it good?”
“I think it is. Really though, you’ve never had Lasagna? You don’t know what you’re missing. Oh by the way, Bonnie should be back soon with your guitar.”
“I forgot about that, but I don’t know what a guitar is either. Back in my world, I played a lyre.”
“Really? I can’t say that I’ve ever heard of anyone who still plays them. Maybe some of the big orchestras still use them.” As we got downstairs we saw Sam opening the door for Bonnie. “Speak of the devil.”
“Speak of the devil? What does that mean? Weren’t you speaking about Bonnie?” I asked.
Teresa turned to me and rolled her eyes. “Wow, you really don’t know much about this world, do you?”
I shook my head.
“Okay, I’m going to talk to Bonnie in the other room really quick. You go get some food with Sam.” Teresa turned back around and dragged Bonnie into another room.
I followed Sam into the dining room and was instantly amazed by the amount of food on the table. “Whoa, you made all of this?” There were two pans of what could only be the lasagna, a plate full of garlic bread, and a very large bowl of salad.
Sam scratched the back of his neck. “Um, yeah, I figured you and Bonnie would be hungry, and I know my sis hasn’t eaten anything since this morning. Too much?”
“No, but aren’t you like twelve? How did you make all this without your sister’s help?”
“Excuse me, but I am fifteen, and I’ll have you know that I cook all the meals when our parents are away. Teresa can’t cook for crap.”
“Hey! I heard that, you little brat!” Teresa yelled while coming into the dining room with Bonnie in tow. “I can cook!”
“Mac and cheese doesn’t count,” Sam replied.
Bonnie and I stood in the room, watching the scene unfold.
“I’ve cooked more than mac and cheese before!” Teresa snapped back.
“Yeah, and the one time you tried you nearly burnt down the house! Then tried to blame it on me!”
Teresa gasped dramatically. “I did no such thing! The smoke detector only went off three times!”
“You say that like it’s a good thing.” Sam rolled his eyes.
“Hey! That roast still tasted better than when you make it!”
“Yeah… if you like eating charcoal.” Sam crossed his arms and smiled.
By then, I was laughing. Bonnie must not have thought it was funny, as she started to break up the fight.
“Okay you two, you’re brother and sister. Stop fighting and get along, please,” Bonnie said with a huge smile.
Teresa harrumphed and sat at the far end of the table.
“Fine,” Sam replied, sitting across from his sister.
Bonnie and I took the seats in the middle of the table across from each other. I watched as the other three scooped up the lasagna onto their plates. Well, no magic to scoop that up, so let’s see if these fingers work as well. I tried doing the same thing the others did, grabbing the spatula with my hand, cutting off a chunk of the food and then lifting it onto my plate. Thankfully I only spilled it the first time and thankfully it fell back into the pan. It was then that I noticed the others all watching me.
“What’s her problem? You’d think it’s the first time she held a spatula.” Sam asked, still looking at me confused.
“No, but it is the first time I’ve use hands to pick one up,” I replied before realizing what I just said.
“Oh yeah, the ‘I’m a pony in a human body thing.’ Furries really are taking the whole roleplaying thing a little too far,” Sam replied.
“You little brat! You were eavesdropping?” Teresa yelled at him.
“Only a little.”
“Just wait until mom and dad get home!”
“Bonnie, what’s a furry?” I asked across the table.
Before Bonnie could reply, Sam cut in. “Weirdos who think they are animals trapped in human bodies.”
“Samuel! You apologize to Lauren right now!” Teresa was furious.
“Holy crap, fine. Lauren, I’m sorry.” His tone said different.
“No, it’s fine,” I replied.
“It is?” all three replied in unison.
“Yeah, I can see how it’s weird.”
“You can?” replied Sam.
“Sam, I don’t know how much you heard today, but I’m going to tell you what I know. This morning, I woke up like normal in Ponyville as a unicorn, and a few hours ago, after I fainted, I woke up here in this body. Now, I don’t know what that makes me, but I do know that I’m going to try and find a way back to my own body. Also, could you all call me Lyra? It is weird being called Lauren.”
Bonnie facepalmed. “You’re still going on about this, aren’t you?”
I ignored her.
“Okay, ‘Lyra’ tell me this, if you were a pony up until a few hours ago, how come you said it was the first time you’ve picked up a spatula? How would you even know what one is?” Sam asked.
“That’s the question you ask me? Not ‘how you know how to speak?’ or something else. You ask why I said it’s the first time I’ve picked up a spatula.”
“You’re avoiding the question.”
“Okay, it’s because as a unicorn I just levitate anything I needed to lift with my magic.”
“Oh Christ, you said the M word in front of him.” Teresa sighed.
Sam’s eyes lit up with amazement. “You can do magic? Like real magic? Can you show me? Please? I won’t call you weird or anything anymore!”
“No, not anymore,” I replied. Sam’s face drooped. “But I’ll tell you about it once we’re done eating.”
“Deal!” And with that, Sam was scarfing down his food.
After fiddling with the fork for a little, I finally got use to using my fingers. They were more nimble than I thought they would be. I used the fork to inspect the lasagna and saw it was more than just cheese and sauce. It was layers of pasta, cheese, sauce, and something else I did not recognize. I’ve had salad before so I figured I’d start with the lasagna. Sweet Celestia, this is amazing! “I’ve never had anything like this before!” I said between mouthfuls. “It’s delicious. It’s gooey but I can taste each part, the pasta, the sauce, the cheese and whatever the fourth ingredient is. What is it anyway?”
“It’s onl–”
“Sam, shhhh!” Teresa cut him off. She then looked at me, concerned. “Lyra, the ponies where you come from… they are herbivores, right? Vegetarians?”
“Well of course. Why would anypony want to eat meat…” I trailed off understanding why she was now asking the question. “Oh.”
“Lyra, I’m sorry. I should have asked you this before. It never crossed my mind.”
“For Christ’s sake, Lauren! You’re not a damn pony! You’ve eaten meat before!” Bonnie yelled at me before turning her ire on Teresa. “And you shouldn't be fueling this delusion!”
“Oh Celestia, I’m going to be sick! Where’s the bathroom?”
“Upstairs, on the right,” Teresa answered.
I ran out of the room and up the stairs only barely hearing the end of the conversation.
“I thought we talked about this, Bonnie?”
“We did and it’s nuts!”
“So, I guess this means she isn’t telling me about magic?”