"This is all your fault, bitch!"
Silence filled the room. Not a peaceful silence - oh no. The silence that you get when everypony is waiting for the other shoe to drop. A unicorn stallion is in front of the princess, his sword half-drawn, shouting at her.
I approach the unicorn stallion shouting at my charge, and speak to him, saying "What is the matter, my friend?" for I recognise him. He is not a friend, really, but one of the usual nobles here. Hot-headed? Yes. Rather, perhaps, brash. He is a warrior, but he remembers not the first principle - to leave your anger always at home. His name is Axe, and he likes me.
Not for what I have done - no, he prides himself on not being one of that sort - but for what I am. I am blunt - or at least, I appear to be - and this makes me just like him. I have a reputation around the court for being blunt - yes, even when politeness would be better suited - and for being honest and - sometimes - humble. It is not for nothing that I alone of the royalty wear no crown. No, it is deliberate. It keeps ponies off their guard. For all of the good qualities of the princesses, not everypony views them in such rosy terms as I do.
"Out of my way, Blueblood," he says. There is alcohol on his breath - though not too much. "My quarrel isn't with you."
I shake my head, with a hint of sadness in my appearance. "I cannot do that, my friend, for you have attacked my charge. Now, please, what is your quarrel with the princess?" I try to sound persuasive, though - of course - not too much.
"She has been spreading lies about me! Slandering me to my lord! Telling him I have been trying to steal his position!" His voice is angry, and his pain is there. "My loyalty to my lord will not be questioned!"
The room is quiet besides, and I speak. "Maybe not, but it cannot be defended here. Remember your training, Axe. This is treacherous ground. Remember where you are." It seems to break through to him, and I can see it in his eyes - that he did not want to do this. He looks around, and seeing the stunned courtiers around us, the haze of the alcohol is broken.
"Too much mead," he says, softly.
"What was that, my friend?" I ask him.
"I... too much mead. I knew it was strong, but I did not heed that. I am dishonoured." He shakes his head. "I have shamed my lord."
I recognise the opening, and step forward, lightly tapping his sword. "Put your steel back into its scabbard. You cannot prove your courage here." He nods, slowly, and slides it back.
"This very night," he says, "I will prove my courage. Somehow."
"Tomorrow," I say. "Come, I know where you need to go. Follow me." I feel his anger seep away. As I lead him out of the room, my charge looks at me. I nod. I know what I must do, my lady.
I am shaken from my thoughts by Axe. "It must be lonely," he says.
"Hmmm?" I ask, not quite understanding him.
"It must be lonely. To be the only honest Royal," he says.
"Lonely isn't quite the word for it," I say as I lead him out.
The next morning, in the tavern we have spent the night, I am woken by the sound of screaming. Quickly, I rise, taking my sword from its resting place.
"My lord?" asks the... ah, serving mare as she wakes up at my movement. "What is it?"
"Go," I say, draping my cloak around me. "Get the Royal Guard. And quickly." She nods, and hurries off quickly. I did not blame her. I am not like most stallions. And this was not the first I had disappointed so. I had time before the guard would arrive, and so I took out a hoofful of bits, leaving them on the dresser. Better than nothing, I suppose.
But right on schedule, the guardsponies arrived. Nodding to them, we went out to find the source of the scream - and my companion that night.
As I opened the door, I made sure to step around the pool of blood in the room, emanating from the dead noblepony in the center. Sitting in front of him was his vassal, my angry friend Axe, his sword still lodged in the neck of the murdered pony.
"Bring him to me," I say, and the Royal Guard drag the now-sobbing pony to me. "Ah, my friend, this does not look good for you," I say. "You are sobbing like a little filly."
He cannot but stare at me through the tears streaking down his face. "Bluh- bluh," is all he can get out.
"And now, you are stammering like a virgin on her wedding night," I say. The stallion's despair is untouchable, and I sigh a little. "Axe, my friend, do not make this more difficult than it already is for me." At last, his anger seems to resurge, and I smile a little. Even now, though, his speech eludes him. "You know my duty. I am sworn to uphold the Law of Equestria. I am Princess Celestia's servant in this, and I have a duty to that office that I uphold."
The stallion just stares at me, coldly, as if he thinks that it will intimidate me. "Now, Axe, tell me. Do you recall any of your activities last night?" I say to him, but am met only with silence. "Axe, I know you understand the law. Silence equals consent in the Princess' eyes." He remains silent, but I spot a flicker of hesitation in his eyes. Of course I do - it is what I have been trained from birth to do, to see the weaknesses in others.
"This is what I am going to do," I tell him. "I am going to tell you what I know. Then we are going to talk about what you know. Do you understand?" He nods, as solemnly as if he were making an oath. "Very good. This is what I know. Last evening, your wrathful display in the court forced me to remove you from the Princess' presence. You and I talked as we left, and we agreed that the topic required more discussion in more comfortable surroundings. We stopped by this tavern - your favourite, if I recall correctly - and we drank mead and ate and enjoyed the company we found inside. You left with your consort, and I left with mine. That was the last I saw of you... until just now."
Axe remains steady. Good. "I do know that during the meal, you spoke badly of your lord. You said that you have been passed up for positions on more than one occasion, and that your lord was not judging you fairly. I assumed the mead was speaking for you, but now..." I wave a hoof at the blood mess behind him. "If I had known your lord was here, in the same tavern as us, I would have recommended another."
I lean close towards him. "Tell me, my friend. Why did you pick this tavern above any other? We passed several on the way here. Maybe twelve. Why this one in particular?" He remains silent.
"Very well. Let us continue. I heard a scream a short while ago, and I sent my consort to fetch the local Guards. We came to this room, and found you here." I sigh, and take a step back. "Axe, can you honestly tell me that you remember not killing your lord?" I look at him, almost seeming to beg for him to give me something, anything to help him.
He frowns, confused. "Whuh...?"
"Do you remember not killing your lord?" I ask again, demanding this time.
"I do not..."
"Do you know for a fact that you did not kill your lord? It is a yes or no question, Axe. Which is it?" I say to him, raising my voice a little.
"I... I don't..."
"Yes or no, Axe!"
"I don't remember!"
"So, then," I say, closing in on my prey, "you cannot say you did not kill your lord, can you?"
"I did not kill my lord," he insists.
"But how do you know that?" I ask.
"I know I did not kill my lord!"
"But you do not know that, do you? You cannot honestly tell me that you know that."
"Yes! I do! I know I did not kill my lord!"
"Do you remember doing it?"
"No, I do not remember doing it," he says, and the last stroke is played.
"You do not remember what?" I ask.
"I do not remember killing my lo-" He stops short.
"That is a shame, Axe. A pony should always know the crime for which he is being punished."
"No, wait!"
I ignore him, turning to the Royal Guards. "Take him away, to await Princess Celestia's sentencing." I leave, ignoring the curses and insults he directs at me. I have already heard far worse.
It is later, now, and I have returned to the palace. There in front is the Princess who has ordered this all done. Princess Cadence. She is one of the three true Royals, the three Royals by Blood, not (as I am) by name. And like the others, she is ravishingly beautiful - and don't think that she doesn't know it. It's hard to look away. The shadows almost cling to her like they were tailored for her. They reveal a little - but only as much as she desires.
She is your friend's wife! I repeat to myself, looking away from her. She has a small chuckle, and says "Your eyes explore for your hooves, my brave little champion." She moves closer. Only my thoughts for somepony else keep her intoxicating presence at bay - though that would be little enough if she truly desired it. "Axe has paid a high price for his insolence."
"Not high enough," I say in response. She laughs at that a little.
"If it were anypony else, I'd say they were pretending humility. But it is you... the only honest Royal," she says.
"A name the others have given me," I say.
"And you have earned it." Slowly she draws a white box from one side of the room. A small one. "And here is your reward, my faithful servant." I gingerly open the box. Inside is a small slip of paper, and as I recognise it, I make my expression solid again.
"Thank you, Princess," I say, permitting no emotion in my voice. She smiles, and I knew then that she did this deliberately, as a test.
I still don't know whether I have passed or failed.