//------------------------------// // Trixie's Revenge // Story: Living in Equestria // by Blazewing //------------------------------// I awoke to the smell of cotton candy right in my nostrils. Blearily, I looked about to see that Pinkie had shifted in her sleep so that she was resting against my shoulder. I was about to think what a cute gesture it was, before I noticed that she was drooling on me. “Ugh, Pinkie! Gross!” I pushed her so that she faced the other side. She didn’t stir at all and kept right on snoozing. Looking at my watch, I saw that it was 6:45 in the morning. Inwardly blaming Pinkie for making me get up so early, I got up and went to the bathroom to wipe off the pony drool, Pinkie settling down to occupy the whole couch. I had just wiped myself dry, when there came a knock at the door. “Who can that be?” I asked myself. “Little early for the mail, isn’t it?” Taking care not to awaken anypony, I crept to the front door and opened it. When I saw who it was, I had to clap a hand over my mouth to keep from shouting. Trixie was standing at the door, garbed in her cloak and hat, and looking hale and hearty. She was about to speak when I held up a hand to stop her. I stepped outside and closed the door behind me. Hopefully, in their sleep, the others wouldn’t be able to hear, even through a shut door or closed windows. “Trixie!” I finally said. “You’re back on your hooves!” “Of course I am, Dave,” said Trixie, proudly. “As I said, nothing can keep the Great and Powerful Trixie down for long.” “And your magical outbursts?” “Completely neutralized. I hadn’t had a single burst all of yesterday, so I was discharged early. The doctor himself said it was a rare occurrence for such a case of Goronide Bolezn. Silly fellow. Does he not know that Trixie has always been extra-ordinary?” She flipped her mane as she said this, true to form. “I wished to see you, but it sounded like you were busy with a party of some sort. I didn’t wish to be seen by anypony else just yet, so I hoped to speak with you in the wee hours of the morn.” “Good thinking,” I said. “Trixie, it’s really great seeing you all better again. I feel like I could-” I was about to open my arms and hug her, but stopped short, awkwardly. “Er, that is, I know you’re probably not the kind to-” But Trixie smiled. “Come, Dave, I’m a showpony. Do you really think I haven’t had foals come up to me after a show, wishing to hug the Great and Powerful Trixie? Do not be so abashed of the honor. To me, Dave, you’re both a fan and a friend.” Now that sounded like a true Trixie-ism. Gratified, I enveloped her in a warm embrace, and felt her put her forelegs around me in turn. “I wouldn’t even be my great and powerful self again if you hadn’t rushed me to the hospital,” I heard her say. “I thank you.” “So, what’s next for you?” I asked, releasing her. “Did you send my message to Twilight Sparkle?” she asked, sharply. “Yes,” I said, a feeling of uneasiness creeping over me at her tone. “Excellent. Then the time has come for me to see her again, and to set things straight once and for all.” With that, she whisked back her cape, revealing, for the first time, a small black case that had been hidden behind her. “What’s that?” I asked. “Oh, just a little ‘gift’ for Twilight Sparkle, that’s all,” said Trixie, in a casual tone. “Trixie, you’re not fooling me,” I said, sternly. “I may not be native to Equestria, but I’m not stupid.” “I know you’re not, which is why I hoped you would understand.” “Understand what?” “What I must do. Twilight Sparkle humiliated me, tarnished my honor as a showpony and a unicorn. It is time I repay her in kind.” “Trixie!” “Do not say another word, Dave,” said Trixie, holding up a hoof. “You are too good a soul to become involved. I must go, if I wish to catch her at the right time.” “But-but-” “Adieu, Dave.” Trixie reared up on her hind legs, and when she brought them down, there was a small explosion, followed by a puff of smoke. It didn’t last long, though and when it cleared, I could see her heading for Ponyville, the little black case held in her magic. “Trixie!” I yelled, but she did not stop nor look back. “Argh!” I punched the outer wall of the house in frustration. I knew she was going to try something funny. There was no way she was going to let those events pass so easily. Whatever was in that case, it must mean big trouble for Twilight. “Dave?” I froze. The door opened, and Moonlight peeked out. “What are you doing out here? Is everything ok?” “Uh, yeah, yeah. I just thought I heard something and went to see what it was. It’s nothing, Moonlight. You can go back to sleep.” “Are you sure? You look so flustered.” “I’m fine, Moonlight, really. Don’t trouble yourself.” While Moonlight still kept a confused eye on me, I went into the bedroom to get changed, shutting the door behind me. If I hurried, I could still beat Trixie and warn Twilight. Finally, I was dressed in day clothes, and I stumbled out on one foot, still trying to get one of my shoes on. “Listen, Moonlight,” I told the perplexed pegasus, “I’m just going for a morning jog. Tell the girls and Big Mac that, if they wake up before I return. Ok?” “Ok,” said Moonlight, though she still looked perplexed. “I’ll be back in a little while,” I assured her, then hurried out the door. Taking care to close it softly so as not to wake anypony else, I sprinted toward Ponyville. *** There was no sign of Trixie as I dashed into the deserted main street of Ponyville. That wasn’t good, because that pony stood out like a sore thumb in that starry garb. There was nopony about, probably all still in bed. That changed when a familiar buzzing sound hit my ears, and Scootaloo came rolling up on her scooter. She was tossing newspapers this way and that from a bag slung at her side, but she rolled to a stop upon seeing me. “Hey, Scootaloo,” I panted. “Dave? What are you doing up so early?” “Me? Well, actually, I’m looking for somepony. Have you seen-” “Twilight Sparkle!” Both of us jumped. Trixie’s voice, carrying over the silent morning air as if spoken through an intercom, came booming at us from all four corners, at least 10 times the volume of a normal speaking voice. “What was that?” Scootaloo asked, startled. “Nothing good, I can tell you that,” I muttered, and without another word, I made for the library, leaving a perplexed Scootaloo behind. As I hurried, I could see and hear many ponies coming out of their homes and peering out their windows, startled by the sudden loud noise that hit the air. “What’s going on?” I heard Rose ask, sleepily. “I think I know that voice,” said Berry Punch. “Some of us are trying to sleep here!” snapped Vinyl. This comment earned her some dirty looks from her next-door neighbors, and from Octavia, who was beside her in the window. “What?” she asked, innocently. I skidded to a halt outside the library. There, sure enough, was Trixie, the box beside her. She was levitating an enormous megaphone, decorated with stars like her cloak, in front of her muzzle. When she spoke again, the force of her words shook the leaves on the great tree and made the ground shake beneath my feet. That thing could have given Vinyl’s Wub-Meister a run for its money. “Twilight Sparkle! I know you are in there! It is I, the Great and Powerful Trixie, who hereby demands that you come down here and speak to her, face to face! We have a score to settle, and the Great and Powerful Trixie shall not wait any longer!” By now, the awakened citizens had formed a crowd outside the library, a crowd I became integrated into. “I knew it,” I heard Berry murmur. “It’s Trixie.” “What’s she doing here?” came Caramel’s voice. “How dare she show her face again,” said Golden Harvest. “I thought she was ill,” said Minuette. “Hasn’t anypony heard of beauty sleep?!” came Rarity’s angry voice, and she pushed herself to the front of the crowd. She was wearing wine-red pajamas that almost resembled a Japanese kimono. “Dave, what on Earth is going on?” she asked. “What is this commotion?” Wordlessly, I pointed Trixie out. Rarity gasped. “Trixie?! But I thought she left Ponyville for good!” Suddenly, the clamor stopped as the front door of the library opened. A tousle-haired Twilight stepped out, followed by Spike. Neither of them looked happy. “Twilight Sparkle,” said Trixie, in a venomous tone. “Long has Trixie sought the day when we would meet again, face-to face.” She cast a scrutinizing eye over the unicorn and gave an amused scoff. “You’ve done little to mend your appearance since I last saw you. Have you gained weight?” Twilight merely narrowed her eyes at Trixie’s taunt, but Spike took the other approach. “Don’t you dare insult Twilight, you fraud!” he snarled. “You’re not welcome here!” Trixie raised an eyebrow at Spike, then addressed Twilight. “Call off your mutt, Twilight, lest he end up muzzled.” “Mutt?!” growled Spike. “Why, you-!” “Spike!” said Twilight, sharply. “It’s not worth it. Let me handle her. It’s me she wants.” “But-” “Yes, listen to your mistress, little dragon,” said Trixie. “Trixie’s only interested in her.” Glaring daggers at her through his green eyes, Spike stepped back into the doorway as Twilight approached Trixie. “You received Trixie’s little summons, then, Twilight Sparkle?” Trixie asked. “Yes. Two of my friends told me you wanted to speak with me.” “I do. We have much to discuss. For starters, it is high time you compensated Trixie for the ruination of her career and her life!” “Compensate?” Twilight asked, bewildered. “What are you talking about?” “You made a fool of Trixie, Twilight! You made her out to be a fraud with that Ursa Minor!” “But you were the one bragging that you defeated an Ursa Major!” Spike said from the door. Twilight shot a swift glare at him that shut him up. “Do not change the subject!” Trixie snapped. “The point is, ever since you stole Trixie's thunder, she has never had a moment’s peace again! Everywhere she went, she only found ridicule! The Great and Powerful Trixie had to make a living on a rock farm, for pony’s sake! Trixie’s come a long way to return to Ponyville, Twilight Sparkle, and the time has come to finally give you what you deserve!” Twilight sighed. “Is that all you came for, Trixie?” she asked, sadly. “To heap all the blame for your misfortunes upon me?” “No, Twilight. Trixie has come to give you something as well, something that should help you see why nopony shall ever get away with making a fool of the Great and Powerful Trixie.” With that, Trixie levitated the black case into the air. (Don’t do it, Trixie, don’t do it.) “Answer Trixie this, Twilight: what is purple, and blue, and red all over?” “What?” asked Twilight. The case clicked open. Something flew with the speed of a bullet straight for Twilight. Ponies gasped and covered their eyes, *SPLAT!* ...What? Was that-? No way. It was too ridiculous. Where I had expected to see some kind of, I don’t know, diabolical weapon or ferocious animal injuring Twilight, there was instead a blueberry pie smashed into her face. Her coat and mane were splattered with purple-blue pie goo and crust. “Ha-HA!” said Trixie, triumphantly. “Now do you see, Twilight Sparkle? Now you feel the humiliation that the Great and Powerful Trixie has had to endure!” The pie tin fell away, leaving Twilight blinking in bemusement. She didn’t look angry or embarrassed, just really confused. “Yes, let it sink in,” said Trixie. “Writhe in the agony of looking like a complete fool, and having to wash away all of that pie!” I couldn’t believe this. Here I was, worrying that Trixie was going to pull something dangerous and potentially fatal as revenge, and what she settled on was a pie in the face? I couldn’t help it. I burst into a fit of laughter over the absurdity of the situation, reaching such a pitch that Trixie noticed, but smiled at. “Trixie’s vengeance is complete, Twilight Sparkle! Even your friends find you ridiculous now!” Twilight looked from Trixie to me, as I kept on laughing, and I saw her finally smile herself. “You know what, Trixie? You’re right,” she said. “I'm sorry for putting you through so much torment. Do you think we might be friends now?” “Friends?” asked Trixie. “Trixie is not sure she is willing to go that far just yet, but she is willing to call a truce if you are.” “Truce,” said Twilight. “Now, if you will excuse Trixie, she has done what she has come here for.” With a whirl of her cape, and another smoke bomb (that still didn’t last long enough to mask her exit), Trixie swept through the crowd, everypony still stunned at what had just happened. Finally, I managed to calm down enough to approach Twilight. “You ok, Twi?” “I’m fine, Dave, thanks. I must say, I wasn’t expecting that.” “Me neither. I was scared for your life until she pulled that off.” “Well, if that’s all it takes to satisfy her, that’s fine with me. Maybe now she’ll settle down like a normal pony.” “If the towns-ponies don’t lynch her first.” “Oh, I don’t think they will. After that, I think they’ll agree Trixie’s harmless.” “Yeah, I suppose. Well, I’d better be off, Twi. I have some slumber party guests still asleep at home. The only reason I left was because I thought I saw Trixie heading for town with that case and got worried.” “All right, then. You have a good day, Dave.” “You too.” I turned and made my way through the crowd as Twilight headed back inside. Rarity muttered something about going back to bed, though she still bade me a good day as we parted. As for me, I wanted another audience with Trixie. *** I caught up with the showpony at the edge of the woods where she had taken up residence. I traced her until we reached her caravan, then spoke up. “Trixie.” Trixie stopped and whipped around. She had a jubilant smile on her face. “Dave! What good fortune. Have you come to share in my victory with me?” “Well, not exactly. I just wanted to ask what you plan to do now. Now that everypony knows you’re back, are you going to keep hiding in the woods?” “Not for long. I’ll wait a bit and then move my caravan to a more desirable location. It’ll give the town time to wash down the shock of seeing their great Twilight Sparkle humbled before my hooves.” “Oh, yeah, you really showed her,” I said, playing along. “Was there ever any doubt?” asked Trixie, proudly. “Well, I must go. I’m still rather weary from being up this early, but what’s done is finally done. Until next time, Dave.” “Bye, Trixie.” I turned away and made back for home, hearing Trixie’s caravan door shut behind her. I had a feeling things were going to be better after what happened this morning, especially for Trixie. *** It was 7:30 by the time I came back to the house. Nopony inside had heard Trixie’s announcement, being so far away and such heavy sleepers. Rainbow Dash and Big Mac were still snoring loud enough to rattle the window panes, and Pinkie was still where I’d left her on the couch. Lyra was muttering something in her sleep, something that sounded like ‘no more for me, I’m full’. Moonlight’s bag, however, was empty. That mystery was solved by a clatter from the kitchen. Puzzled, I went to investigate and saw, to my surprise, the sweet pegasus bustling about, making toast, eggs, and setting out glasses of orange juice. She looked up as I entered. “Hello!” she said. “I wanted to surprise you and everypony else. I made breakfast.” “Aw, Moonlight, you didn’t have to do that. I could have. You’re my guest.” “I know, but I thought you’d be tired after your jog.” “My huh? Oh, right! My jog. Well, this was very sweet of you.” Moonlight smiled kindly. From inside the living room came a loud yawn. “Do I smell eggs?” came Rainbow’s voice. I heard Big Mac groan as he got up. “Hoo boy. Ah ain’t used to sleepin’ so late.” It was Lyra’s turn to give off an obnoxious yawn. “Aw, look. Pinkie stole Dave’s bed,” she said. I stepped out of the kitchen to take a look at what was going on. Rainbow was trying to shake Pinkie awake. “Get up, Pinks, come on,” she said, prodding Pinkie in the stomach with her hoof. Pinkie snorted, curling up to shield her belly. “Ok, sleep the day away,” said Rainbow, in an ‘oh well’ tone, “but you’re gonna miss breakfast.” Pinkie’s ear twitched, and her eyes fluttered open. She yawned and stretched. “Ooh, wowie-wow, did I sleep good last night! I had the greatest dream! I dreamt that the evil veggie pirates were trying to take away all the sugar in Ponyville, but I stepped in with my brave Candy Cavaliers to beat them off!” “Man, I wish my dreams were as entertaining as yours, Pinkie,” said Lyra. Pinkie looked about and noticed where she was. “Huh? How did I get here? I could have sworn I was in my sleeping bag.” Pinkie Pie questioning her own craziness? What sorcery was this? “Morning, all,” I said, coming in. “Morning, Dave!” said Rainbow. “Hi, Davie!” said Pinkie. “Is that breakfast Ah smell?” asked Big Mac. “Yep, courtesy of Moonlight.” At that moment, Moonlight appeared, setting plates of eggs and toast on the dining room table. “Wow!” said Lyra. “Moonlight, that was really nice of you!” “It’s my way of saying thank you for having me,” said Moonlight, sweetly. “Aww, come here, you little sweetie-pie!” said Pinkie, and without warning, she bounded over to Moonlight and grabbed her up in a tight hug, squeezing her so tight that her pale cheeks began to turn red. “Help,” she gasped out. “Wish we could, Moonlight,” said Rainbow, “but once Pinkie starts a hug, the only way to get out is when she feels like it.” Sure enough, Pinkie gave Moonlight one more squeeze, then released her. “Ok, I’m done!” she said, then sat herself down at the table, where she was soon joined by the others and myself. As Moonlight finally sat herself down, I raised my glass of orange juice. “Everypony, let me be the first to say that I declare this party a success.” “Hear, hear!” they chorused, and we all clinked our glasses together before starting on breakfast. The subject of Trixie was never brought up or discovered over the meal, which I was grateful for. I thought it better that they find out for themselves rather than know I had snuck out to track her. After breakfast was over, the games were packed up, the remaining party food was packed away (Rainbow insisted that I keep the leftovers, except for the pizzas that weren’t plain cheese. I let those be taken, gladly), and the guests headed their separate ways, all thanking me for a great party. “I ain’t had that much fun since Pinkie Pie’s last party,” said Big Mac. “I know, right?” asked Pinkie. “See ya later, Davie and Moonlight!” “Thanks a bunch, dude!” said Rainbow. “And great meeting ya, Moonlight!” “We should totally do this again sometime!” said Lyra. It was just me and Moonlight left now, and I turned to her. “Thanks, Moonlight. You really helped make this possible. I hope you had a great time.” “I did,” said Moonlight. “Your friends are all so wonderful.” “I was trying to do what Pinkie did for me,” I said. “When I first came here, alone and friendless, Pinkie picked me up and introduced me to everypony here. I hoped to be able to do the same for you, Moonlight.” Moonlight beamed, a glimmer of a tear in her eye. She fluttered up and threw her forelegs around me. I hugged her carefully, in case Pinkie’s bear hug had left her tender. “Thank you,” she whispered. “You’re very welcome,” I said. “Come over anytime.” “I will. I promise.” We let go of each other, and I watched Moonlight off to her house, right up to when she closed the door. It warmed my heart to see her warming up to the company I kept. It might help her want to come out more often and enjoy what Ponyville had to offer. “Morning, Dave!” I turned around. Derpy was standing beside me, a package grasped in her teeth. “Hi, Derpy! Is that for me?” “Uh-huh!” She placed it in my hands. “From Rarity! I was passing by the Boutique, and she asked if I could hand this off to you.” “Awesome! Thanks, Derpy.” “You’re welcome. Have a good day!” “You too.” Derpy fluttered off to continue her rounds as I headed back inside. I opened the package rather hurriedly, and found a note and a carefully-folded pile of clothes. Picking them up gingerly, I found them to be a long, brown-plaid jacket, matching brown trousers, and a deerstalker cap. Underneath that was a black clay pipe and a bottle of bubble soap. “Rarity, you are a marvel!” I said, ecstatically. I had no idea she’d have been able to get it ready so quickly. That unicorn was a genius! I picked up the note, which read, “Dave, Here is your Sherlock Pones costume. I’m quite pleased with the results, and I’m sure you will be too! It’s just in time, as well, with the Nightmare Night festival tomorrow. The game is ahoof! -Rarity” Wait a minute. Tomorrow? Nightmare Night was tomorrow? I knew it was approaching, but not this quickly! After the initial shock, I muttered to myself, “That’s it. Next time I go shopping, I’m buying an Equestrian calendar.”