//------------------------------// // Chapter 4: Seeds of Change // Story: The Trouble With Unicorns // by CartsBeforeHorses //------------------------------// Prince Blueblood got to work on his book immediately. As the book was meant to be for unicorns of all abilities and ages, his first chapter was on basic telekinesis and horn illumination spells. Even though the vast majority of unicorns knew how to use these spells, he wanted his book to be a comprehensive guide to lifelong magic learning. So the chapter also included more advanced training on lifting hundreds of pounds. Then he moved into the more challenging spells such as teleportation, telepathy, and dowsing, to which he devoted a chapter apiece. Though challenging, they were quite doable by anypony who was willing to put in the time to learn. The final chapters were on advanced topics such as transfiguration, enchantments, and any spells which were not restricted knowledge in the Canterlot Archives. Blueblood did not know if just any old unicorn could learn these spells, but he figured he would include instructions for them anyway in case somepony who did have the innate ability to use these spells stumbled upon them and learned something useful. He used the same sort of plain language that he had used when teaching Fancy Pants to teleport, and included all of the tips and tricks that he personally used for each of the spells in questions. He figured that his book would be simple enough for anypony to learn who was willing to apply his methods. He also included the same sort of persuasion that he had used to convince Fancy Pants that it was in his best interest to learn how to teleport. “Most unicorns learn basic telekinesis spells. Why do they do this? Because though it takes effort to learn at first, the time spent learning is less than the time saved by being able to do these spells. It takes far more time to do tasks like writing, cooking, or sewing with one’s hooves and mouth than with telekinesis. “In the same way, you will learn that it is faster to teleport than to walk, that it is faster (and more accurate) to use telepathy to show ponies rather than tell them, that it is faster to use dowsing rather than to spend hours searching for something that you need to find. He wrote whenever he had the chance. Usually, that chance was when he was in his office and had all other critical work done. Since he was salaried as Dean, he did not feel as if he was being paid for not doing his job as long as he did the absolute minimum requirements; no more, no less. In a few weeks he was done with his book. He brought a copy of it to Fancy Pants’ house for him to review. Fancy Pants skimmed the first chapter, and said, “By Jove, you’ve gone and written a masterpiece! I shall have to some of try these spells for myself. Now, let me get in touch with my publisher friend and we will have this on the shelves before the week is out!” Blueblood met the publisher and signed a contract. The contract was the usual legal jargon, release of liability, agreement to share profits, use of name and likeness, all that. Now he just had to wait and see if his book was to become popular. He first saw the fruits of his labor, or rather heard them, one day in his office about a week later. Blueblood had tendered his resignation effective at the semester end as soon as he signed his publishing contract. Though he still had regular dean duties to attend to, he no longer did any extra work such as soliciting donations. No, he did the bare minimum required for his job. As he was not busy with the same sort of paperwork he had been doing before, he was quite bored in his office one day, so he turned on the radio. He heard the end of a pop song and a male voice, “That was Ernest Wembleforth and his new single, ‘You Wanna Go Tonight.’ We’ll be back with Canterlot’s Top Favorites on 103.1 in just a moment. But now, a word from our sponsors.” A second, female voice spoke, “Unicorns. Are you tired of walking everywhere? Wish you could fly really fast like a pegasus? Well you may not be able to fly, but you can definitely teleport and save some time out of your busy schedule. Skeptical? Think that sort of magic is too hard for you? I did too, until I read Doctor B. R. Fritz’s book, Useful Magic Made Simple. It changed my life in a matter of weeks. Now, I’m teleporting to work, up the stairs, and even just for fun. I’ve also discovered the wonders of telepathy, dowsing, even transfiguration! To pick up a copy of Useful Magic Made Simple, head to your nearest bookstore. Mention this ad and get a discount of 20% off at select retailers.” Blueblood gawked. He was glad to hear a commercial for his book, but his name wasn’t B. R. Fritz, it was Prince Blueblood! Why did they change it? He thought about it for a moment. Maybe his name wasn’t exactly best-seller material. “Doctor B. R. Fritz” sounded like a smart stallion who you could trust. Blueblood sounded like, well, stuck-up royalty who was a bit too posh for the commoner. And to think, he would have sold it under his own name. There was a reason he wasn’t in marketing. Blueblood smiled; his ads were now on the air. What a great development! He thought. He glanced around his office. All of the paperwork that he had needed to do was in his “done” pile, and none remained in his “to-do” pile. Since he no longer put in any more than the minimal effort required for the job, he had nothing to do for the first time in many, many years in his career. What would he do? He walked over to a cabinet near the front door of his desk and opened it. He took out the bin of prohibited objects that the teachers had confiscated over the years and set it on the floor. There were quite a few things, everything from baseball caps to bayonets, comic books to cigarettes. He grabbed a paddle-ball from the bin and walked back to his desk. He sat down and paddled it. “One, two, three—darn! One, two—drat!” He continued attempting to keep the paddle ball in motion and discovered it was quite more difficult than he would have assumed. And those kids made it look so easy. He continued paddling until his thoughts were disturbed by a teacher who rudely opened the door to his office without knocking. He looked up and quickly floated the paddle behind himself, blushing. “Mr. Blueblood, you have a visitor.” “Oh, er, tell them to come in.” “Is that a paddleball you have there?” “Um… yes, it is. I, er, confiscated it from a student this morning and was about to put it into the bin,” he pointed to the bin that he had earlier taken out of his cabinet. “Then why are you sitting behind your desk with it, when the bin is by the door and you would have passed by it while walking over to your desk?” “I was… er, I was simply cataloguing it. Let’s see. One red paddleball. Check,” He scribbled on a random sheet of parchment with his quill. Then he walked towards the door and placed the paddle ball into the bin. He glanced through the door towards the hallway and saw Princess Celestia standing before him. Again? What could she want? Prince Blueblood looked at the princess and invited her in. They sat down and she spoke. “Prince Blueblood, I am quite sorry to have received your letter of resignation. I just wanted to stop by and make sure that you didn’t change your mind.” “I am absolutely positive, Princess. I am not going to be at this school after the end of this semester,” he stated firmly. “Well that’s too bad.” “Sorry, but I have other projects I am working on.”. “You mean like that book that you have written on magic use?” Celestia asked. “Ah, you have heard of it. Yes, I will continue my career as an educator, but it is now my goal to increase magical literacy among the general population rather than at this school.” “Quite a noble goal, Prince Blueblood. Magic is indeed a special thing and I’m glad to know you are encouraging its use. Hopefully something good can come out of it and more ponies can learn how their lives can be enriched by magic.” Blueblood scoffed internally at the princess, for he knew that her encouragement was just a thin veneer over a layer of resentment and fear. Thankfully, Blueblood thought, she wasn’t the sort of tyrant who banned books, she was simply the sort who gently encouraged ponies not to read them. “I wish you a long and prosperous writing career, and I appreciate you finishing out the semester here at the school. But, as I regret to inform you, I have decided that the school will be closed after you leave. I simply cannot find a suitable replacement for you, and without a good dean this school can’t continue.” Blueblood gasped, “What do you mean? Of course there are replacements that you can find? I’m not the only one who is able to beg for donations, or hire new teachers, or discipline students, or fill out paperwork. Surely there must be others?” “None as qualified as you, and none who can stop this school’s steady decline from reaching a free-fall.” He was taken aback by this statement. Celestia had never acknowledged the failing state of her school until today. After all of the reports he had sent her over the years, he had gotten nothing back from her other than an “it’ll be fine” or “you are overreacting” or even “who says we have to be the best school out there.” So to hear her use such language was as shocking as sticking a fork into an electrical socket. “The others I have looked at for this position simply do not care about this school the way that I do, or that you do. Since you are leaving, I’ve decided it is time to hang up the hat. Don’t worry about our current students; their current credit hours will be fully transferrable to any public or private school in the country. Unless, of course, you change your mind.” Blueblood was furious, though he didn’t show it just yet. Did she have the gall to say “Do not care about the school the way that I do?” Celestia does not give a damn about the school that bears her name! Blueblood had had to wrestle with her for the most basic funding, the most basic curriculum changes, the most basic of accommodations. It was as if she had set up the school to fail upon deciding on her successor, Twilight, who she had been grooming since the year that Blueblood joined as dean and recommended she be removed from traditional classes. “But what about the Canterlot Archives and the spells within? If only graduates of your school can use the spells, and your school no longer exists, then…” “Then no one new shall be authorized to use them, but I will allow current graduates to continue using them. Yes. But those are such destructive spells anyway. Why would anypony even need to use them at all?” “Because used responsibly, they are not harmful at all, and can even be helpful if used productively.” “And we tried the policy of allowing these spells to be general knowledge, many years ago, and it resulted in the death of hundreds of ponies at the hooves of an evil king using those very spells.” “Princess, with all due respect, I have done some reading into King Sombra, and there is only a historical record of him using black magic and enchantments, not time travel, mind control, celestial control, or invisibility. You banned those spells of your own volition.” “I am aware of this, but these spells are still dangerous and I don’t see any need in keeping them around any longer. Why does a pony need to turn invisible or travel through time, anyway?” she responded. Blueblood was absolutely livid. He could not believe that such important magical knowledge was simply being laid to waste! That this school was being closed! He burst out in anger and spoke a tirade which would be his last words to the Princess. “Yes, because those spells were only a test to name your successor. Anypony who could master them all would be your successor simply because of how powerful the spells are. For you, being a princess is not based on whether a pony would be a good leader; it’s simply because they know a few arcane tricks and could presumably use that in combination with alicorn-level power to keep Equestrians in line. You never intended to let those spells be learned by anypony at all, unless they were loyal to you and could use them for your purposes. “Twilight is not a leader; she is a foal. She is a paranoid, mentally-unstable, socially awkward fool who happens to also be skilled with magic. Granted, she is probably the best magic user there is. But has Twilight ever managed hundreds of ponies? Has she ever dealt with losing anypony close to her? Has she ever disciplined anypony when it was required? Has she ever balanced a budget? Has she ever even managed to attend a prestigious social function without making an ass of herself? Because that’s what she will have to do as princess. You expect her to learn all these things in less than three years? “So she saved Equestria. Great. You know, the element of magic can be wielded by any unicorn with magical skill, not just her. I could wield it myself if I wanted to. And speaking of magic, you want to know why I am quitting? Because you don’t give a damn about this school or magic. You fear magic. That’s why you have not invested any money or any public school resources in educating unicorns, something I am now doing in your stead. That’s why you integrated Canterlot. That’s why you took the job of raising the sun from the unicorns. You fear magic and you fear unicorns. “Well guess what? You are as paranoid as Twilight, because there is nothing to fear about magic or unicorns. You are nothing more than a prejudiced, bigoted tyrant who has kept nearly a third of the population under your hoof for generations. And I will not stand for it any longer!” The princess was quite shocked at Blueblood’s rant, as she was not used to ever being spoken to in such an insolent manner. She did not speak for a full minute. Finally, she simply said, “Good day, Blueblood,” and left the room. Blueblood’s brow furrowed. He threw a potted fern on his desk against the wall, let out an audible yell, and tore at his hair. He had never been so enraged in all of his life. He only wished that he could quit his job twice. He wondered why Celestia was closing down the school. Perhaps, now that she had appointed a successor officially, the school had served its purpose. Though it was possible, he didn't quite believe that, because why keep a school open for hundreds of years just for a single successor? His best guess was that perhaps it was a play to get Blueblood to stop writing his books, but he had called her bluff. Perhaps the school would actually remain open even in his absence for whatever its true purpose was. However, Blueblood took her words at face value and assumed that the school would indeed close. So he finished out his tenure at the school. Over the next three months he wrote hundreds upon hundreds of letters of recommendation for his students who were to be transferring to other schools after Celestia’s School closed, and he began settling issues of pensions, retirement, and transfers for his teachers. Though he easily could have just quit coming to work, he did not feel that it would be right to not give his students the best. It wasn’t their fault that Celestia seemingly wanted them to fail. She might not have cared about their education, Blueblood thought, but at least he still did. ***** During and after Blueblood finished out the semester at Celestia’s school, he continued writing more magical instruction books. He and Fancy Pants had decided that he would write an entire series of books, each one focusing on a particular type of spell in depth. The first book was on transfiguration. He first saw the efforts of his writing pay off in an unexpected way. As he was walking down the street in Canterlot one day, a ginger-coated unicorn stallion ran up behind him. The stallion called out, “Doctor Fritz! Doctor Fritz!” Blueblood turned around. He was Doctor Fritz. “Ah, I knew it was you! I recognized you from your picture in the book. I just wanted to tell you that Useful Magic Made Simple has changed my life. I never thought that I would be using advanced magic like teleportation or telepathy, but boy was I wrong! Thank you for writing your book and opening my eyes, Doctor Fritz!” Blueblood smiled and replied, “Well, thank you for taking the time to learn about magic, sir. I am actually in the process of writing a new series of books which goes more in-depth into specific types of magic.” “I can’t wait to read them, Doctor. Thanks so much. Now, I have to go, I’m running late for work. Or, no, wait I’m not, because I can just teleport there. Sayonara!” He disappeared in a flash of blue light and a familiar *bang.* Blueblood smiled. He was glad to have helped that stallion out. Over the next several months, Blueblood was approached by more and more ponies on the street who recognized him. He also saw more and more unicorns teleporting around. Though it had once been a rare sight, he now never went a day without seeing a bright flash of light and hearing the familiar bang of teleportation. Celestia may have cut down the trees of knowledge, he thought, but I have sown the seeds of change.