Armored Bastion sat at his desk, rubbing his temples, hoping to quell his headache. Though well into his forties, he maintained a strong muscular build. As per his personal and professional preference, his burgundy coat and black mane shined, giving him a clean and polished look. Currently however, both were a mess from his most avid cause of stress.
For most stallions his age, stress could originate from financial problems, relationship issues with a spouse, depression, or even a mid-life crisis’. He had none of those.
What he did have was a position in the royal guard as first lieutenant, vast experience from his youth in using sword and axe, and more importantly, the title of Royal Tactician. A title that is never handed down by the Princess without serious thought on the matter.
He looked to his guard armor on the nearby stand and grimaced as he watched sticky pink liquid drip from it. The result of the most recent prank pulled by the cause of his stress, his student, and the pony he considered a son; Marked Defiance, or just ‘Mark’ for short.
It had been five years, six months, and two hundred and six days since Bastion had first met the colt in Manehatten. It had been the same day that he saw the potential that the young unicorn had for tactics. A potential that Bastion was training him to hopefully meet.
The burgundy earth pony let out a sigh. Mark’s progress was nothing short of extraordinary. However, he had also developed bad habits such as sleeping only when he felt like it and pranking unfortunate ponies. So far he had never left anypony out, not even the Princess to Bastion’s dismay. Luckily, Celestia took it in good stride.
Bastion didn’t see his pranks as the biggest problem however. Mark had become somewhat of a recluse, and only attempted to make a genuinely new friend once. To Bastion’s relief, that attempt was eventually successful as Mark and Princess Luna seemed to connect with each other.
Bastion sighed again.
He didn’t know what the best decision to help Mark was. He needed somepony that could help him make friends. Somepony that could whip him into shape when it came to his bad habits.
Bastion absently looked to the large map of Equestria that hung on his wall, eyes unconsciously traveling across it like they always did when he was deep in thought. They stopped at one particular point on the map; a town close enough to keep an eye on his student, and where he knew Mark would have the help he needed to make more friends.
As the train pulled into the Ponyville station, an average sized yellow unicorn with ice blue eyes looked around impatiently. Both his mane and tail were cut short and were brown with natural white splashes at the ends. Marked Defiance or “Mark” for short, couldn’t help but feel annoyance at the fact that Bastion had sent him to some country town to make friends and supposedly learn a lesson. If anything, this was some kind of punishment.
‘I already know that being a tactician is serious business, but I’m young so cut me some slack, Bastion.’
The train began to come to a stop and Mark glanced out the window to see Celestia’s prized student herself waiting expectantly at the station.
‘Must be here to greet little-old me. I think some fun is in order, don’t want to make a bad impression after all.’ Mark thought with a mischievous grin on his face.
‘Just don’t do anything too stupid like last time.’
‘Brain, don’t speak unless spoken to. Besides Blueblood deserves what I give him.’
‘Technically I’m your subconscious, we've been over this, and though Blueblood is the perfect victim for everything, you could have killed him with that piano.’
‘I’m really regretting that spell that gave you a voice in my head.’
‘Oh admit it, without me, you’d go insane from your loneliness by now. Especially since Luna is becoming too busy to spend her free time with you.’
‘I”m not lonely, just... shut up, Brain.’
‘Subconscious.’
Before arriving at his destination, Mark had done what he assumed all good tacticians did when alone and bored and noted all possible escape routes while munching on a snack: a pickle.
The train fully stopped now and Mark slipped out using escape route number eleven as it was the closest that let him go unseen out the other side of the train. He quickly rounded the the platform and slowed as he began to approach a lavender unicorn whose attention was solely on the now open train door.
“Are you here to meet somepony too?” he asked casually.
“Yes, he should be out soon, I’m here to make sure that he feels welcome,” she replied absently, gaze never leaving the open train door as other pony passengers filed out.
Mark paused for a moment before continuing whimsically, “So is he your coltfriend then?”
That got her attention. “Wha-What?!? No, he’s just a fellow student to somepony of importance in Equestria! I thought that he might need some help settling into Ponyville is all!” She blurted in reply, turning around to see the speaker with a light blush on her face.
“Really now? I’m here to meet somepony important as well, but who could be so important that he gets to be met by the Celestia's student herself?” he replied raising an eyebrow.
Twilight looked suspiciously at the smirking stallion. “Well, he happens to be the one who will eventually help with foreign affairs and plan tactics for the Equestrian military if it’s ever needed. Though Equestria hasn't had a war in over a thousand years, so that last one won't be necessary.”
Mark couldn't help himself, “Oh, you must mean Marked Defiance, the notorious prankster of Canterlot castle, right? I heard he is incredibly handsome, intelligent and can beat anyone given the right assets. Did I already mention incredibly handsome?”
Twilight rolled her eyes. “And according to his teacher, my brother, and both Princesses, he is also a pony that just seems to love getting into trouble. In fact, if I recall the words correctly, his teacher, Armored Bastion, said, ‘He would make Discord proud’.”
Mark's expression went incredibly flat.
‘Oh, I’m gonna get you back for that Bassy, maybe some itching powder your guard armor. THAT will get you a few looks.’
'And the desire to make you join the guard corps stamina training again.’
“Well do you at least know what your stallion looks like?” Mark inquired, his attention returning to Twilight.
“Of course, although I’ve never met him face-to-face yet. But he’s supposed to be a yellow unicorn with a brown and white mane, as well as blue-” she stopped herself as she began to actually examine the other pony, who was giving her a very amused look while wiggling his eyebrows.“Marked Defiance?”
Mark waved his hoof in a posh and dismissive manner. “Just Mark, please. My full name’s somewhat of a hoof-full.”
“How did you get behind me? Please don’t tell me you’re gonna be another Pinkie,. I don’t think my head could take it.” She grimaced as she remembered the mirror pool incident.
Mark counted down in his head as he recalled the six heroes and bearers of the Elements of Harmony. Not everypony knew them since Celestia didn't want to make huge celebrities out of them, but Mark had done his research before being forced onto the train. “She’s the pink pony who represents the Element of Laughter, right?”
“Yes, that’s her,” Twilight responded with a nod.
“Well I’m not sure about the comparison, but I’m always up for a good laugh, so I’ll answer with a maybe.”
‘And since I’m here I should try to have fun.
'Maybe find this Pinkie character too.’
He thought with a mischievous grin as he began heading into town.
“Hey, wait, where are you going?” She caught up to him and matched his pace. “First of all I wanted to introduce you to all my friends so that you don't feel alone here in Ponyvile."
'Even Twilight's calling you out on your loneliness.'
'Shut up.'
"Lets start with Applejack since she is the closest. And don’t you worry about a thing, with my schedule, what could possibly go wrong?” Twilight continued, oblivious to Mark's brief spacing out.
‘Did she just say what I think she said?’
“HEYAIMPINKIEPIEI’VENEVERSEENYOUBEFORESOYOUMUSTBENEWAND-MGPHMPHGMPHGMMMHP” Mark did what any adrenaline filled, logical, quick-thinking pony would do and shoved a hoof into the pink pony’s mouth then preceded to make sure that nopony else heard her.
He looked at her bewildered when he felt her still talking, albeit muffled.
After leaving the train station, Mark had managed to lose Twilight via an alleyway, an apple cart, an angry mare, and lots of running for his life. He was pretty sure that seeing the orange mare named Applejack, would end with him being beaten to near-death should she catch him.
‘I really need to apologize when she’s calmed down, although I understand why she's angry.'
'Really? I don't remember you having an apple cart that some random unicorn burned down accidentally after showing off.'
'Thanks, that makes me feel sooooo much better.'
Mark sighed and started rubbing his head with his free hoof.
‘So much for a good first impression.’
Mark watched as the pink pony continued talking with a hoof in her mouth. “Um, Pinkie Pot.”
‘That’s her name right?‘
“Yes I’m new, I’d love to be friends, I like parties in moderation, and I also need personal space from time to time. I know all this because Twilight and I talked about you earlier, and right now please be quiet, because due to me being an idiot, I may look like an ass to those who don’t know me.”
He then removed his hoof from her mouth, and began trying to shake off the saliva. Strangely, it had a sugary scent.
“OH, you can’t possibly be a donkey when you're obviously a pony silly."
"I meant some ponies may think I'm bad," Mark deadpanned.
" I don't think you're a big ole meanie pants if your Twilight’s friend. And any friend of my friend is also my friend. And even if you were a friend of my friend's friend you'd still be my friend!"
"I...what?"
"And if you need a disguise look no further,” she said before pulling a beaglepuss out of a small hole in the wall and immediately placing it on Mark’s surprised face.
‘At least I have a general idea of what Twilight meant earlier.'
'I like her!’
“Should I ask where this came from?” Mark asked pointing to the beaglepuss on his face.
“Well, I keep all sorts of things around town in case of any party emergencies. You name it: rubber balls, party hats, balloons, disguises, trampolines, bubbles, streamers, bouncy-”
Pinkie began rambling, Mark however had stopped listening since he figured she'd go on like that for the next 'whatever' minutes and started to think about what his next move would be.
‘Okay so both Twilight and Applejack are pissed at me, Pinkie is crazy, but probably in a good way, so that leaves the next three elements, loyalty, kindness, and generosity. Problem is, I have no idea who they are except from their description and snippets of information that I do know. On another note, I’m gonna have to get around town without being recognized, only, a fake mustache and glasses combo just won’t do.’
'How do you know it won't work? These ponies don't know you.'
'Let me rephrase it, I'm not going through town with this on.
'You've had worse on your face.'
'Don't remind me...And don't ever say that out of context.'
'Yeah, because we both know that everypony else is gonna hear the voice in your head.'
“Hey Pinkie, do you know where I can get a cloak, suit, or something to help cover the rest of my body?”
“OH, OH, OH, I know this one!” Pinkie said excitedly raising a hoof. “We can go to Carousal Boutique and Rarity can make you something superific, come on.” And with that she grabbed his back-hoof and ran towards a tall white building dragging a strange, screaming yellow unicorn wearing a beaglepuss.
Mark finally began feeling his stomach return from its trip to his lungs. Shakily picking himself up, he glanced at his surroundings. Scattered everywhere were varieties of cloth, silk, stitchings, and mannequins.
‘It actually kinda reminds me of my room after I studied griffin tactics.'
'I was thinking that it reminds me of your room in general except if you had mannequins in it, you'd probably look like some kind of serial killer or something.'
As he took off the beaglepuss disguise, his heart skipped a beat when he spotted a beautiful white mare with an elegantly curled purple mane walking up to them.
‘Do I look alright!? Does my breath smell?! I don't have anything in my teeth, right?!'
'Oh, ask her on a date, then maybe the relationship will develop and I won’t have to handle your issues anymore and I can finally get back to collecting Ponymon cards.'
'First off that's my collection. Second, I’m just trying to make a good first impression since the last one crashed and literally burned.’
'Says the colt thinking about getting a kiss on the first date.'
'We're not dating yet.'
'I heard a 'yet.'
'Dammit.'
He spotted a mirror and frowned when he saw his appearance. His mane was an utter mess and he was covered in a fine layer of dirt from being dragged halfway across town.
‘Well there goes the possibility of looking good for awhile.’
'I don't know, maybe she likes to play dirty?'
'Okay, seriously, shut up.'
“Pinkie dear, what is going on, I heard screaming, and-" Rarity gasped, taking several steps away in disgust and pointing at Mark. "Why is there he here covered in dirt?!” She finished dramatically.
“That’s because I was ponynapped here when I said I needed a suit or cloak, preferably something that looks good too,” Mark replied, staring at Pinkie who just smiled even wider in response.
“Oh I have just the thing but why don’t you go wash up in the bathroom upstairs darling?” Rarity said more as a command then a request.
‘This mare is a saint.’
Mark thought as he nodded and made his way upstairs, treading carefully so he didn't leave any tracks on the floor.
'Ask if she'll join you! Ask if she'll join you!'
Once Mark was out of sight, Rarity turned to Pinkie with a glimmer in her eye. He might just be a new pony in town, but on the other hand, this was the first time Pinkie had dragged someone to her boutique. “So dear, who is that stallion? Is he your secret coltfriend? What’s his name?”
Pinkie’s eyes grew wide and with a jump, she gasped as hard as the time she first met Twilight. “OHMYGOSHIFORGOTTOASKHISNAMEEVENTHOUGHHE’SNEWANDINEEDTOTHROWHIMAPARTY!” And with that Pinkie disappeared, leaving a cloudy afterimage where she once was.
With a roll of her eyes Rarity began to work. “I should have known better. I guess I’ll ask him when he gets clean.”
10 minutes later...
Mark approached Rarity, who was humming her ‘Art of the Dress song’ while she levitated several objects and an almost finished cloak, he stopped stared in awe at the seamstress's rapid progress. A sequence of thoughts rushed through his head:
‘Number one: Holy Crap she really knows how to multi-task...
Number two: I really need to ask her to teach me to work that fast. I mean seriously, ten minutes!
Number three: Wait, she doesn’t have my measurements did she do those with just her eyes?
Number four: Does that count as checking me out?'
'Number five: Close your damn mouth, you look like a gaping fish!'
Rarity finished her last stitch and turned around to see the now clean Mark.
“Oh my, you actually are quite cute with all that muck off of you,” she stated, fluttering her eyelashes ever so slightly, and causing Mark to blush and shuffle his hooves along the floor nervously. Rarity then used the stallion's embarrassment as an opportunity to set the cloak around Mark's neck. “It’s not my finest work but given the short notice I think that it should make you look quite dashing.”
Rarity then gestured to the mirror Mark had seen earlier, and he was then able to get a better look at the cloak. It was a pleasant green with golden trim that covered his shoulders, mid-section, and flank. The ensemble was accompanied by a hood that he assumed could cover his entire head while still being roomy.
As he examined himself in a nearby mirror he realized just how great the cloak looked on him. “Sweet Celestia! This is amazing, how on Equis did you manage to do something this great in only ten minutes!”
Rarity giggled at the compliment, “Oh pish-posh darling, I’ve put a lot of time and effort into becoming good at creating wondrous dresses, or in this case a cloak. This was nothing. Besides, your yellow coat is so similar to my friend’s, and green looked wonderful on her, so why not you as well.”
Mark twirled and took a heroic pose in front of the mirror before turning to her. “Miss.....”
“Rarity, dear.”
“Miss Rarity, in my honest opinion, this has to be the most amazing thing I’ve ever worn,” Mark said with a bow, eliciting more giggles from the mare.
'It helps that you don't wear much anyways.'
'Not the point.'
“Here let me just get my...” Mark began reaching towards his back. He froze as reality dawned on him. His bits were still in his saddlebag. The saddlebag that he had left behind so it wouldn’t slow him down.
‘Welp, better luck next time’.
Noticing Mark’s expression suddenly become downtrodden, she spoke up. “Oh dear, don’t you worry. As Pinkie’s new friend you may have it for free, although I will require compensation for future articles of clothes. How does that sound?”
Mark looked shocked, before Bastion took him under his wing, Mark had grown up on the streets where the only free things were what you could successfully steal. Slowly but surely, Mark's body was filled with a warmth he hadn't felt in years and his lips curled into a truly heartfelt smile.
‘HURRY! Do something nice and uncharacteristic!’
Doing the most gentlemanly thing he could think of, Mark lifted her hoof and gave it a light kiss, causing Rarity to blush. “Thank you Miss Rarity, I’m honored that a mare as lovely as you, would do something like that for me. My named is Marked Defiance, but you may call me Mark."
His interaction was cut short however, as there was a loud knocking at the door. Followed by a terrifyingly familiar southern drawl.
“Twi, do yah really think that fella would hide here, ah mean the boutique ain’t exactly...subtle."
“Well I haven’t seen him yet, but Rarity may have seen him around somewhere.” Twilight’s replied.
"I wonder who they’re talking about?" Rarity mumbled to herself as she headed towards the door. As she opened it she welcomed her friends inside. "Twilight, Applejack, you should meet my guest. He's-" In Mark's place however, was only the light breeze that came from the recently opened window. "-Not there anymore."
After Mark finally got what he considered a ‘safe’ distance he took stock of where he was.
‘Status report.’
‘Well you’re out of breath, you’re dehydrated, your legs feel on fire and you'll probably lose Rarity as a friend and possible marefriend once those two explain what you did.’
‘Why are you being so hostile today?”
‘Because you didn’t exactly listen to me when you burned down Applejack’s applecart now did you?’
‘Well fuck you too, any good news?’
‘Theres a lake like right over there so drink some damn water already!’
‘Agreed, so stop being a jackass.’
‘I’m the glue keeping you from falling apart so, no. I'll do what I feel I have to.’
Mark trotted over to the water, rather irritated with himself, and began drinking as if he had just ran a marathon in the desert, until he became satisfied and dunked his whole head in it just to cool off.
‘Well that was refreshing, I wonder where-’
Mark stared, dumbfounded while he processed the sight before him.
'...What the hay?'
About thirty yards away from him was a yellow pegasus with a pink mane and a butterfly cutie mark walking backwards towards the lake, gaze intent on the line of ducklings following her, each emitting little quacks.
‘That has got to be the strangest, yet most fucking adorable thing I’ve ever seen. Ever.’
'Too bad it's not a line of turtles. Then it would still be adorable, and you could stare at her flank longer.'
'First of all you're thinking of tortoises. Second, fuck you.'
He continued watching and moved out of the way as the pegasus passed by, apparently too focused on the ducklings to take notice of him and turned with her back still to him.
“Its okay little ones, your feathers will help you float, just take deep breaths and stay upright. Look there’s your momma waiting for you over there,” she said in a soft voice, prompting the ducklings into the water towards the lone momma duck.
‘Wait, yellow pegasus, animal expert, butterfly cutie mark, this must be the Element of Kindness, Flutter......bee?'
'That's not it.'
'Flutterberry? Flutterdash?Flutter-'
'Nope, nope, and nope.'
'Screw it I’ll just ask’
Mark took a minute make sure his appearance was good for first impressions before lightly tapping the pegasus on the shoulder. “Excuse me Miss-”
“EEEEEEP!”
Before Mark could even finish the yellow pegasus jumped in the air, landed, and was curled up hiding her face behind her hooves and mane while trying to look as small as possible. All in the span of two seconds.
‘Am I a mean pony if I think that scaring this pegasus makes her even more adorable?'
'Probably, but it was worth it.'
'Shut up brain.’
“Um, sorry for scaring you miss. I just saw how you were with those ducklings and I wanted to get to know you better, you see, I’m kinda new to town.”
No change or response. “I mean I met some of the other Element Bearers, but I haven’t met you yet.”
No change or response. “I really am sorry for scaring you but it wasn’t on purpose, I swear!”
Upon seeing no apparent response from the cute trembling mass of yellow, Mark slumped onto his flank and sighed in defeat. All his stress from today finally getting to him.
‘This isn’t working. Dammit Bastion! Why did you have to send me here? I’m not ready for something like this! Twilight probably only gave me a chance because of orders from the Princess, Applejack hates me, the only ponies who seem to like me are Pinkie and Rarity but they’ll change their tune once they hear about Applejack’s cart. Why is it that whenever I interact with other ponies I either make an ass out of myself, or hurt said pony in some way, shape, or, form?'
'Because you don’t know how to interact correctly around ponies anymore. You kind of became reclusive and made me the way I am to help your loneliness, remember?
'Shut up brain.'
‘Just calling how it is.’
'Shut up.'
‘You shouldn't bottle your emotions. Especially when it causes you to wallow in self-pity like this.’
‘SHUTUPSHUTUPSHUTUP!’
Mark thought in frustration, about to start beating his own face in.
Still stuck in his thoughts, he didn’t notice the cerulean eye peeking through pink hair observing the cloaked unicorn. “I’m sorry.”
Mark sighed after calming himself through several deep breaths.
‘Great now I’m hearing things other than my self-aware subconscious.'
'You got it right for once.'
'Shut up Brain.’
“I’m sorry,” the voice said, louder.
Mark lifted his head and looked toward the yellow pegasus again, who now had her hooves out of the way so that her face could be seen better. She was still trembling however.
“I’m sorry,” she peeped in a normal volume, before trying to hide behind her mane a bit more.
For a moment, Mark thought about shielding his eyes so that they wouldn't be burned from the cuteness.
‘Dammit, she is just too adorable and shy....... Dammit! Her name was Fluttershy!'
'Ding, Ding, we have a winner! You may now choose the title of moron or idiot.'
'Shut u- you know what, fine, you win just interject whenever you fucking want.'
'See, its all about war of attrition.'
'I’m still going to ignore you if I can though.'
'Prick.'
'Jackass. Anyway since she apparently hates attention as much as I hate my subconscious-'
'HEY!'
'-Lets try a different tactic.’
Mark then turned his back towards Fluttershy before answering. “It’s okay, you didn’t mean to hurt my feelings. And were just so focused on the ducklings that you probably didn’t see me. Also, before you ask or come to the conclusion that I turned my back out of insincerity or anger, I did it because I realized how shy you were and probably don’t want some unknown pony staring at you.”
“Oh, um, okay, thank you Mister.....”
“Marked Defiance, but just call me Mark.”
“Okay Mark, um I’m really, really sorry that I reacted that way and ....um, thank you for being considerate, but uh, were you looking for me? I mean if you want to answer... that is,” Fluttershy peeped out before retreating behind her mane again.
Mark let out another sigh. “First off I’m not angry at you or anything, just myself. Second, my teacher sent me here to befriend other ponies, primarily the Element Bearers, he must have been thinking that I’d ‘hit it off’ with you ponies, kind of like Twilight did her first day. Third, the last statement has been thrown out the window leading back to the first statement. Also, I honestly feel like I needed somepony to talk to who wouldn’t judge me after all the crap I pull. So who better than the Element of Kindness herself? I just wasn’t expecting a cute little pegasus with the shyness the size of an adult dragon.”
Realizing how he said that last part, he turned around before frantically adding, “Not like there’s anything wrong with that though. I mean there are a lot of shy ponies in the world.”
Then Mark noticed Fluttershy’s tomato-red face.
“You think I’m cute?” She squeaked.
“Um, well yah, kinda like Rarity but in a more natural way I guess.”
‘Really? That's what she heard? '
'Dude, don’t blow this, you could be onto something here!'
'Seriously, shut up, I’m not looking for a relationship right now, I’ve got things to learn, and I’d rather have her as a friend.’
'You're just scared that she’ll leave you like Crystal did.'
'Whatever.'
‘Coward.’
Mark quickly shook his head to clear his thoughts.
“What I mean Fluttershy is that you possess a natural kind of cute like a puppy, kitten, or a turtle.”
“Oh, okay,” Fluttershy sighed, her blush lightening, but still there. “Um, but why are you angry at yourself? You seem like a nice pony now that I know you a little better.”
“It has something to do with the fact that I suck absolute horseshi-" Mark stopped and realized that with his current audience, such language should be cut entirely. I am very bad at making good first impressions which led to me to being chased all around town more or less by your friend Applejack for doing something incredibly stupid.”
“You should apologize then,” Fluttershy said.
“I was going to wait until she’s calmed down.”
“Well running around town probably helped calm her down a little, so go back there and apologize mister and she’ll forgive you,” Fluttershy rebuffed assertively.
Mark smiled and suppressed a chuckle at Fluttershy’s ‘assertiveness.’ “Well in that case I guess I have no choice. Thanks Fluttershy,” he said before trotting back towards town hoping that AJ was as forgiving as Fluttershy stated.
‘You should have hugged her.'
'I didn’t want to give her a heart attack.'
'You WILL hug her eventually though.'
'For once I agree with you completely.’
‘Okay Mark, calm down, deep breaths. This is probably the best opportunity you're likely to get.’ Mark thought to himself, taking deep breaths.
After leaving Fluttershy by the lake, Mark had spotted AJ talking with somepony else probably asking if they had seen him. After regaining his courage/confidence, he began walking towards the orange mare. But stopped when he heard yelling.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHH!” Mark looked up just to see cyan blur spiraling towards him.
To Mark, time seemed to slow as his training for the unexpected kicked in, improvisation, “TRAMPOLINE EMERGENCY! I GOT MYSELF A TRAMPOLINE EMERGENCY!” he shouted, remembering something that Pinkie mentioned before.
Out nowhere a pink blur had placed a small sized trampoline in front of him before disappearing around another corner and without any time to lose, Mark lifted the trampoline, shielding himself right as the cyan bullet collided with it.
Two things occurred after this: one, the inertia and bounce from the trampoline knocked him backwards with the air hit out of him, and two, it bounced the cyan object the other way. Unfortunately he soon saw what unfolded next consequence.
‘It’s heading right towards Applejack.'
'Fuck my life.’
Twilight let out a sigh as she placed the letter from Armored Bastion back onto the desk. Her plans for Mark’s arrival had already gone awry. "Great, now I have to redo the whole schedule for him, then mark it on my checklist, and then re-check that off on the checklist of checklists."
The library door slammed shut. “UGH, SPIKE! What have I told you about slamming the door?” she yelled downstairs.
“It wasn’t me, it was some unicorn. Hey buddy you don’t look too good.”
Twilight walked down the stairs to investigate. It was Mark in a green cloak and he was panting and... barricading the door?
She fumed as she walked up to him. “MARK! Do you have any idea how much trouble you’ve caused? I mean Applejack-” She was interrupted with hoof in the mouth.
“No time,” Mark said, inhaling and exhaling deeply. He had a crazed look about him. ”Barricade now.”
“Um, whats going on?” Spike asked.
‘Think of something.’
“Uh....zombie pony attack?”
Spike’s pupils shrunk, “Then what are you doing getting desks and chairs? Help me get the fridge its much heavier.” He gestured to the kitchen rapidly.
Twilight removed Mark’s hoof from her mouth and stopped Mark and Spike from heading to the kitchen, “Spike, no. Mark here is probably just hiding from Applejack, when he should be apologizing to her.”
Mark smiled sheepishly before scratching the back of his head, “Yeaaaah, about that...”
There was a loud smack as Twilight face hoofed. “What did you do now?”
“Well, you see I was on my way to apologize, when-” He was cut-off by a large thumping at the door.
“GET OUT HERE YAH VARMINT, AH KNOW YER IN THERE!!!” The door splintered and cracked as AJ began to buck it.
“APPLEJACK STOP THAT THIS INSTANT!” Twilight yelled as she began to remove Mark’s hastily made barricade with her magic.
Once the barricade was out of the way, Twilight opened the door. “Applejack, don’t go breaking down my door. Now what did he do this time?”
“Well lookey here.” AJ took off her hat, displaying a rather large goose egg on her head.
Twilight gasped, then took on an expression of shock and anger, “He hit you?!?”
“Well, no, but it was still his fault. Rainbow told me.”
Twilight’s expression softened but was still one of anger, “Wait, what did he do? Where’s Rainbow?”
Suddenly, there was a crash from behind Twilight, she turned around to see Rainbow Dash, who apparently came through the window, trying to catch Mark as he used his magic to create shields out of books.
“I’ve got you now!” Dash said as she nimbly dodged a flying book, only to receive a face-full of another, crashing into a nearby bookcase.
Mark then quickly started piling books to make a book jail around Rainbow and held it together with his magic so that it wouldn’t fall apart. “HAH, HOW DO YOU LIKE ME NOW?”
‘Aren’t you forgetting something.’
Mark turned and to see the now fully open doorway with two angry mares giving him looks that could kill. “Oh fuck my life.”
Mark slowly regained consciousness but kept his eyes closed.
‘Okay, lets recap -- I got bucked in the chest after escape route number four failed, and promptly blacked out. Huh, who knew that Twilight could teleport?’
‘Well she is the element of magic. ‘
‘Hindsight is twenty-twenty.’
‘Speaking of hinds... ‘
‘Seriously!!! Your You’re still trying to hook me up with somepony?’
‘Hey, I’m your subconscious.’
‘Whatever, lets see what we got here.’
Mark slowly peeked through one eye until he noticed he was alone, and then opened his eyes fully. the world looked different until he realized that he was hanging upside down and that he couldn’t move any of his legs.
‘Okay, so from what I gather AJ tied me up and left me here to hang upside down like a wind-chime. Meh, if I could shrug right now, I would, since it’s not the worst thing to happen to me.’
'No shit. The worst thing to happen was when you accidentally-'
'APAPAPAPA, we will never discuss that event again. Now quiet, somepony's coming.
'Not that they can hear me of course.'
Mark closed his eyes and pretended that he was still unconscious.
“Okay girls, this is the pony that I wanted to introduce to all of you, although I wish that it was under better circumstances and that he was conscious.” Twilight said as she walked into the room followed by the other Element Bearers.
“OH,OH,OH, I know him! I mean I don’t know his name, but I mean I know him, and he said he knew you. So that means that he couldn’t be a big meanie butt or a donkey and so I helped give him a disguise.”
“Yes darling, I happened to meet him too. Although I didn’t know he was the pony you were talking about when you visited my shop.”
“I met him too,” Fluttershy said in what could have been confused with a whisper.
Twilight looked surprised. “Wait, you mean you met him already and he didn’t do anything foolish?”
“Goodness no, he actually was quite the strapping gentlecolt once he had cleaned up. In fact, he had quite good manners when he was at the boutique, well, except for his sudden departure.” Rarity replied.
Applejack gave her a skeptical look, “Yeeeaaaaah, ah’m finding it hard tah believe that, that varmint is any kind of gentlepony Rares.”
“He is a nice pony,” Fluttershy voiced aloud if you could call it that.
“Ahm sorry, what did you say, sugarcube?” Applejack asked, straining to hear the buttercream pegasus.
Fluttershy spoke a little louder.“Umm, well he was scary at first but he really is nice and...” She stopped and blushed heavily while remembering Mark’s comment.
Noticing Fluttershy’s distress Applejack gritted her teeth. “Sugarcube, did he do something to yah? Cuz if he did I’m gonna-” she began twisting her hooves together, emulating whatever she meant to do.
“Oh no, it wasn’t anything bad! He just-” The blush grew even bigger, “...said I was cute.”
“Fluttershy, you have to speak up, we can’t hear you,” Twilight said.
“He said I was cute,” Fluttershy peeped a little louder, her blush increasing as well.
Applejack looked to Fluttershy in uncertainty, “Sorry, Fluttershy, just a bit louder, I don’t think ah heard yah right.”
“He s-said I was, um...c-cute,” Fluttershy repeated, her face now as red as a tomato.
Rarity and Pinkie squealed in delight, one because of her romanticism and the other because she may get the chance to throw a "Happy you got a Coltfriend" party.
Twilight, Applejack, and Rainbow on the other hoof had expressions of absolute shock, as they just stared at the blushing pegasus.
Rainbow flew up in Fluttershy's face. “He said you were cute? But this is somepony you hardly know, heck we hardly even know him. I mean, what if he’s a spy?”
“I prefer secret agent, if you will,” Mark said with an amused grin as five mares jumped in surprise. Pinkie on the other hand was giggling as she began swinging the tied up unicorn back and forth like a pendulum.
“As some of you may know, my name is Marked Defiance, but I prefer Mark. It’s so nice to see you again Twilight, Rainbow, AJ. As you can see I’m just hanging out while you talk behind my back...right in front of me,” Mark deadpanned as he said the last statement, this caused a few guilty expressions.
“Although I appreciate the ponies who weren’t berating me for any of my mistakes.” He smiled at Rarity, Fluttershy, and Pinkie who was still swinging him.
Applejack stomped up to the unicorn, getting right up to his face, “MISTAKES? YAH DONE BURNED MAH FAMILY'S CART TAH THE GROUND!” This caused Mark to wince as all ponies except Twilight and Rainbow gasped.
‘Guess they only told Rainbow.’
‘That explains the air attack.’
‘Actually, I think she really was just crashing.’
‘Either way, lets try to get out of this mess.’
“It was an accident. A-C-C-I-D-E-N-T! But yes, I'll take responsibility for being an idiot,” Mark let out with a regretful sigh.
“AND A SPY!” Rainbow Dash added, though backed down after receiving glares from both Mark and Applejack.
‘I suddenly feel the urge to screw with that pony’s mind.’
‘Later, right now you need to set this straight or you’ll never make any friends.’
Mark did his best to turn his head to Applejack, “Look, I really am sorry. I was trying to be impressive and to make a good impression. Obviously the results were less than satisfactory, so let me at least make it up to you.”
‘I can’t believe I’m going to say this next part.’
'Actually it's about time you got off your lazy ass.'
'Quiet.'
“Let me w-work off the amount you lost today and let bygones be bygones,” Mark said almost painfully.
Applejack narrowed her eyes and rubbed her chin thoughtfully for a moment before answering, “Fine, but if ah catch ya’ll lazing about, I’m gonna buck ya to next Tuesday. Any problems with that?”
‘Don’t do it’
‘I’m gonna do it’
‘Don’t you dare’
‘Yeah, just try and stop me.’
Mark's lips curled into a shit-eating grin. “Wait, buck me or...buck me?” He asked in a very antagonistic, very flirtatious manner, and winked to add to the effect.
All the mares blushed at the innuendo and Mark brohoofed himself mentally. That is until he saw to orange hind hooves heading his way.
‘It was so worth it.’
'Hey, you can see her-'
Mark's thought was cut off as the hooves made contact and pain and darkness again swallowed his vision.